Fiction or reality

Gæst

Ash had done well for herself these last couple of weeks since getting to Gaia. Alec had helped her get a job at a weird but good store, Luna had gotten them a place to stay at least for the time being and she finally had some real clothes on her body. It felt good. Her and Luna had agreed that they were going to try what normal life had in store for them, but Ash felt herself drawn more to fiction. Maybe it was to connect with something otherworldly that she had experienced herself. She had found herself going to the movies more often, getting late night shows; the ones they played right before closing down. She was often alone, a lonely movie goer, but she never felt alone. Not when the actors on the screen spoke, because it felt real to her in a sense. That night she had been helping Clarissa out in the store until late, running to catch the movie she wanted to watch. She was happy that the cinema in Gaia showed older movies as well, or at least movies she hadn’t seen in her three years of absense from this world. She was happy to get there in time, looking at the guy that was usually there for the late shifts. He was always nice, bearing a nametag with the name Ricky in gold lettering. ”A ticket for Aladdin,” she said with a smile. Maybe it was the third time this week she was going in to see it, but she just liked the thought of the genie helping out.

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Outfit

Ricky loved movies. He was not always admitting which ones or how much, but he loved them. To the point where it was almost nerdy. When his parents had informed him, they would pay for his intuition at the school but nothing less, he knew he had to get a job. He had worked at the cinema for a little more than six months now. He loved it, except for the uniform. He especially liked the late shifts, because he could then sneak in to see a movie. He of course made sure someone else was there in the front. Him and one of his co-workers often shifted between watching a moving and doing their jobs. Then after the cinema was closed, they would have much more to do. It was worth it to him. He had noticed a girl coming to the movies often. She had already been here to see the original Aladdin twice this week. He understood why. It was a classic. He looked at her with a smile when she came back to see it again. ”Good choice,” he told her with a slight Canadian accent. Ricky took a small machine showing the available seats and showed it to her. ”Where would you like to sit?” There was no other seat taken, so could choose whatever she wanted. He might just join her later in the evening. Ricky thought she was pretty. Not like that type you saw in movies filled with makeup and morning routines that took ages. She seemed down to earth, and he really liked that. Of course, he was not about to pursue anything with anyone. He had a girl back home in Canada. He had only seen her twice since he came here, but he thought they were making it work. Whenever they could they talked on the phone and face timed whenever they could. The time difference made it difficult, but not impossible.

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Ash couldn’t help but smile at him, because they both knew she had seen that movie a bit too often. Maybe it would be cheaper just to buy the movie on disc, but there was something more magical about the cinema. Perhaps it was the smell of the popcorn or the large seats where you could just disappear into. She bit her lower lip as she looked at the screen. She usually just picked wherever, so she pointed to the seat exactly in the middle, the one row with extra room for her legs. Even though she usually just curled up in the seat anyways. She never really bought any snacks, already seeing the movie as a treat in it of itself, however she looked at a snack she recognized from France. She picked a few CaramBars from the desk and asked for a water. She found soda weirdly sweet, so water was the best option for her. Reaching into her pocket she took out some cash. Most people these days used creditcards, but Ash had made it very clear to Clarissa that she didn’t trust things like that. Maybe she was paranoid, but she was fearing getting noticed and brought back to the hell that was her life for three years. She exhaled, licking the part of her lower lip she had just bitten as she took her ticket, sending him a smile as she took her other items as well. She walked into the screen room, looking at the many empty seats and giggling a bit to herself as she walked to the one she had bought. Seeing as she was alone, she just took off her shoes, sighing in relief as her feet were aching after a long day of work. She curled up on the seat, taking a sip of her water as the commercials ran across the screen. Some days she had seen the guy join her watching movies, wondering if he was checking if she was doing something sketchy or simply just wanted to watch the movie himself. The movie was about halfway through as she heard the door open. Her body was always so aware of her surroundings. She saw his head poke in, making her smile, hiding that smile behind her hand. Normally Ash didn’t really know whether she liked someone, but there was something about this guy she liked. He looked a little goofy at times, his big hair clearly showing it had a life on it’s own. She waved at him, signaling that he could sit down with her if he wanted. ”Hi,” she said in a low tone, hearing the Disney movie loud as ever, but she still felt the need to whisper.

Gæst

Ricky hadn’t talked much with her. He didn’t even know her name yet. But she seemed nice. A little quiet, but she was a movie enthusiast, so that was already added to her plus column. Yes, he treated people like a pro and cons list. Wanting to befriend everyone he met, he needed to do that to figure out who was worth spending more time with. He would always be friendly with people even if he didn’t consider them friends. ”Coming right up.” He turned away from her to get her to water. He put the lid on the container and put in a straw before handing it to her. He informed her of the price before taking the money and giving her back her change. ”Enjoy the movie,” he wished her as she took her things and walked to the theater. He joined his co-worker in the bathrooms to clean them. Then they had less to do when they closed. ”Hazel returned,” he had named the girl Hazel because of her eyes. ”I covered for you yesterday, can you manage without me today?” The boy nodded as an answer. He was maybe a year or two younger than Ricky. Other than here, he hadn’t spent much time with him. Not because he didn’t want to, but between school and this job, he hadn’t much time for a social life. He usually just hung around people at school or here.
Ricky snuck into the theater, careful to not disturb her. It didn’t work. But maybe it didn’t matter. She waved him over. He quickly moved there as silently as possible. He didn’t know if she was a supernatural creature. Maybe silent for him for as a whole lot of noise for her. He sat down in the seat next to her. ”Hey,” he whispered. He sighed when he realized he had missed Genie’s first appearance. He loved that character. His eyes looked at the screen, but sometimes looked at her from the corner of his eyes. She seemed so captivated by the movies, even though she had seen it multiple times. He leaned towards her in order to tell her something: ”I want to show you something when the movie is done.” It was not that special, he just thought she might like it. He had never thought about how a movie was projected in the cinema before he started working her. He shouldn’t let anyone into that room, but she was one of their best paying customers. She deserved something special by now.

Gæst

Everything about movies was something she liked, even if she didn’t know much about how they were produced. However she liked the finished product so much. She sent him a shy smile as he sat down, returning her greeting. Her eyes quickly returned to the screen, biting her lip and hiding her laugh behind her hand as the movie continued. She had seen the movie before as a child, but it had been in french, so these movies seemed completely new. Besides, it helped her a bit with learning the english language more fluently. Sure, she was good at english, but her accent showed so often, and she found it a bit embarrasing. She unwrapped one of the CaramBars, the scent of fake raspberry lurking from it. It make her sigh as she ripped off a piece and popped it in her mouth. She looked shortly to him, offering him a piece as she sent him a reaffirming smile. Ash was not one who spoke often, she prefered silence mostly as it calmed her. She could see out the corner of her eyes that he leaned closer, turning her head and popping it a bit to the side as he spoke. Shortly she felt her heart race in fear, but she reminded herself that he hadn’t done anything to suggest her not to trust him at least a little bit. She only knew him as Ricky with the messy hair, but he didn’t know her name, making her feel a little safer. She moved her hand over to cover the tattoo she had on her middlefinger, rubbing her thumb over it as if it would disappear if she rubbed hard enough. Nodding at his suggestion she sent him a smile, her eyes a bit confused, but she returned to watch the movie. The worst part of the movie was Jafar, at least to her. The way he smiled and wanted more than he could ever claim made her think of the scientists, but at least this guy got what was coming for him. The movie concluded with the genie getting freed, Ash giggling a bit as she saw how happy it became, making her shed a single tear as she looked at the screen. She looked down, feeling a bit vulnerable, but she would be fine. Learning to manage trauma had helped her, but she was far from back to normal. Maybe that was why she liked the movies so much, it was a way for her to connect to some of her trauma and transform it into something she could see. The credits started rolling, Ash leaned forward to put on her shoes, looking at him with a smile. ”You wanted to show me something?” she said with a sweet voice, trying her best to hide that she was still a bit affected by the movie.

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Ricky was not the smartest guy around. He sometimes picked up things a little slowly and had a hard time figuring things out. He had never even thought about movies and how they functioned. Now he knew, and he was happy for the knowledge. She had noticed the accent in her voice. His mother spoke with a French accent, though hers were different from hers, since his mother had been raised in Qúebec. She had taught him to speak French though, just as his father had taught him German. He preferred French, perhaps because he preferred his mother. He took a piece of the candy and put it into his mouth. ”Thanks,” he said with a lowered voice. He didn’t notice how she seemed to be affected by him moving closer. He just sat back down and watch the movie. He sometimes made small noises to show what he thought of that particular moment. He grunted when Jafar got his way, chuckled when Genie said something funny and cheered when Aladdin and Jasmine got their happy ending along with Genie. If there had been more people, he would have been quiet, but since it was just the two of them, he didn’t mind as much.
He looked at her and shortly saw how the movie had affected her. She looked down. She obviously didn’t want to talk about it, so he didn’t bring it up. ”Yes, follow me,” he stood up. ”Now that you seem to like movies so much, I thought you might liked to know how it works. It’s a little life-changing, if I say so myself.” He thought it over and realized it might be a little boring. ”Or maybe that would ruin the magic of a good movie.” It didn’t for him, but he couldn’t speak for anyone else.

Gæst

His reaction didn’t bother her much, it actually soothed her a bit, making her want to react with him. However she reacted inwards, having learned to hide her reactions to pain and suffering. As he stood up she gathered her things, taking her empty cup of water as well as the empty candy wrappers with her to the trash can. Moving with him she smiled as he spoke. He was rather energetic, really passionate about this and she found it very endearing. Magic. What was it with this town and people mentioning magic all the time? At times she felt like she was going crazy when people spoke about stuff like that. She didn’t really believe in the supernatural, but she couldn’t really explain her abilities. She did believe in science and the cruelty of it. Snapping out of those thoughts she looked at him, putting on her best smile as he led the way back up some stairs. It felt almost like he was taking her to another world, but she needed to remind herself that it was alright. He wasn’t going to take her away, just show her something. Ash placed her hands in her pockets as she stood behind him as he unlocked the door, looking a bit around in the narrow corridor. The door was unlocked and she stepped in, looking a bit amazed at the equipment. She hadn’t been too good with electrical appliances after Elysian, but she was getting better. It was all about reminding herself she wasn’t in danger. ”It’s weird,” she said, struggling a bit at pronouncing the second word, but it was understandable. She found herself standing in the rather small room, feeling a bit awkward as she on one hand felt so out of place, and on the other felt like she recognized some of the things. Her hazel eyes darted to him and she moved closer, touching his name sign with her index finger. ”Ricky,” she said, her voice straining a bit to not fall into french habbit of speaking. She looked up at him, her eyes searching his for a second. ”I’m Ash,” she said, more like a greeting you would say at a formal meeting. She looked around, feeling her heart beat a bit faster. She was not a fan of small rooms, taking a step out from the room as she took a deep breath, leaning her head against the wall. She was feeling a bit lightheaded, closing her eyes as she focused on her breathing.

Gæst

Ricky had never been through anything bad in his life. His father didn’t like him, but he had never done anything bad to him. His mother had made sure of that. It was not nice to live with a father who disapproved of you because of what you were born as, but people in the world had it way worse than him. He led her up the stairs towards the projector room. He walked into the room and let the door pinched to not allow too much light into the room. He didn’t want to disturb the guests. He didn’t think it might bother her. It wasn’t because he wasn’t considerate of people, he just didn’t think of it unless he had seen signs they might be bothered by something.
He nodded as she said something in line of what he had said when he first saw it. ”It all seems very technical. The weirdest thing is that almost everything runs on itself. Machines are taking over,” he shuddered by the thought. That was the real threat to the world – other than climate changes. If machines took over, the people would be expendable. He watched her as she moved closer. His gaze moved to her finger as she ran it across his name sign. He looked back into her eyes with a smile. ”That’s the name.” He didn’t understand what was happening. She looked like she was searching for something in his eyes. What would she search for? She could just ask. He was an open book. Except the chapter about his father. That was a locked chapter he would only open for very few people. She told him her real name before she moved out of the room. He still had no clue what just happened. He followed her outside and locked the door behind him. Ricky looked at her as she seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. ”Ash? Are you okay?” His voice was soft but showed a cutting worry. Something told him there was behind her surface than your average young girl. He might not be able to help her with whatever was happening in her life, but maybe he could help her right now. He surely wasn’t letting her go before he was sure she was safe.

Gæst

It was her own fault, she knew that, but she just needed to breathe for a while. She heard his voice, soft and full of worry that it made her heart ache. Her lower lip quivered a bit, biting down on it to stop it from moving. She wanted to lie. Tell him she was fine and then go home and crash, maybe sleep if not for the nightmares. She exhaled, not looking at him as she didn’t want to associate him with something negative; no he was one of the good ones, she felt that in her gut. She hadn’t been to a doctor or even a therapist after what had happened, but how could she trust them? How could she trust that they wouldn’t just take advantage of her as well? ”Just a …,” she mumbled under her breath not knowing the word for flashback in english, trying to focus on her heart beat, getting her pulse down to normal. Once she had taken her time she still couldn’t look at him. She felt embarrased, felt like she had shown something that even a forward society like England wouldn’t accept. Her hand was shaking a bit, but she quickly burried it in her pocket. She straightened herself up, taking a step but feeling a bit weak as she pretty much just stumbled into him. ”Je suis désolé,” (I am sorry) she said, not even knowing if he would understand her. She had found a few people understood french in Gaia, perhaps because it was so close to France in the first place. She didn’t want to be a bother, but then again she didn’t really have a choice when she felt so disconnected to her body right now. Maybe what she really needed was air, but all she could do was breath a bit irregularly, leaning against his chest as she tried gathering herself. It was like she wasn’t really there, even though she knew it. ”Air,” she mumbled with her french accent.

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Ricky was a people-pleaser at heart. He couldn’t enjoy himself or be happy if people aren’t him weren’t. Not truly, at least. He could pretend, but that would just make him feel bad for ignoring the person. He wanted to help. She didn’t look at him, making him wonder if he had done something to provoke this. She didn’t seem to know how to explain herself, and him trying to guess could be a long game. He tried to figure out what to do, but dealing with someone having a panic attack or whatever it was, wasn’t exactly in his skill set.
Whatever had happened to her, made her react like this. It couldn’t just be because of something he had done. Something had triggered her. He had to believe that. He felt a slight anger wake inside him when he saw her hands were shaking. She was scared. When she stumbled towards him, he quickly grabbed hold of her. ” Tu n'as pas besoin de t'excuser” (You don’t have to apologize). His accent was different from hers, but the words in Quebec French rarely differed from Metropolitan French were more or less the same. He allowed her to lean on him. It seemed like she needed it. One of his hands were placed on her shoulder blade and the other on her shoulder. She wanted air. Okay. They could go get some air. ”Okay. Let’s go get some air,” he moved away from her slowly. He wanted to make sure she was okay. ”I’m just going to put an arm around you.” He wanted to make sure he didn’t surprised or startled her. Gently he put his arm around her wait in a loose grip, although firm enough to keep her save if she felt worse again. Slowly he led her down the stairs and towards the nearest exit, which was used for delivery of goods for the store. He didn’t care about that right now. She needed air. He spotted a bench not far away and walked her there. ”Just know you don’t have to explain anything to me. I’m happy to help without knowing the context.” She shouldn’t feel forced to tell him anything.

Gæst

Leaning on him felt awful for her, not that she didn’t like getting help, but she hated that she had no choice. He spoke french, she could understand it, but the way he pronounced it sounded almost like he had something in his mouth. Moving with him, she felt goosebumps show on her arms as he wrapped an arm around her waist. There was something about physical contact she still didn’t quite trust. Sure, she would hug Luna, but she was more like a sister than anything. Outside the wind of the night hit her face, making her breathing a bit more steady as she got placed on the bench. It was like her knees refused to keep her weight and she sat down with a low thump. She straightened her back, making sure the airsuply was running smoothly and she wasn’t pressing her lungs together. She sat for a while, focusing on her breathing as she slowly got out of that state of mind. Of course she was not blind to this symptom, but she didn’t want to go and get checked, mostly in fear of getting found. After a while she finally looked at him, her eyes seeming almost distant before she moved her eyes up to the sky. The sun was no longer visible, but it still cast it’s last lights on the otherwise darkness above. ”I was not planning on explaining,” she muttered to his words, but she felt grateful. He was a nice guy, way nicer than she had thought at first. She gulped a few mouthfuls of air, thinking it would help her a bit more as she looked at the receiting colors. ”But I would like to thank you,” she said in almost a whisper, looking at him. Her eyes was still blank, but there seemed to be some spark in them now compared to before. She herself felt like she was watching the world through a tunnel, but this was usually how it was getting out of these flashbacks. She swallowed, looking at him and finding herself studying his brown eyes again. There was something awfully familiar about them. ”Thank you,” she said in a sincere voice, feeling like her vocals could break if she went any higher in sound. She kept sitting on the bench, not knowing if he had to go inside and finish up some work. She felt bad, having been nothing but weird for the whole time he had been there with her. Ash wasn’t as social as her sister, more like an introvert that just kept to herself, however she also knew that she didn’t trust herself right now. At times like this her body normally just reacted by freezing in place, but she had managed to move thanks to him. She found herself rubbing the tattoo again, rubbing it and rubbing it, thinking that if she kept doing it things would get better. However that little X was a constant reminder of the pain she had been through. A constant trigger of the experiences she had gotten over the past three years, but on the other hand she wanted to remind herself.

Gæst

Ricky didn’t speak French that much. Mostly he just spoke it with his sister, mom and girlfriend. And if he met someone who preferred French to English, he would of course talk it with them. He was steady and careful as they walked. He wanted to make sure nothing happened. He couldn’t help but wonder what had made her react like she had. He knew whatever he came up would unlikely be the truth, therefore he stopped the string of thoughts forming in his mind. He helped her down on the bench but kept standing for a moment to make sure she was okay. When she straightened her air and her breathing returned to a more normal pattern, he took his chance and sat down. He met her eyes with a half-smile. It was an attempt to cheer up, although he had a feeling that wasn’t going to work very well. Especially because her eyes seemed distant. He was no therapist, but something seemed to have changed something in her. Ricky didn’t know her, so he couldn’t say for certain if something had change, but you were not supposed to have that kind of a look in your nice. Not at her age. But then again, she might be older than she looked. He followed her action and looked into the sky. The way the setting sun was painting the dark canvas that was the sky was beautiful. His gaze returned to her when she spoke. He made a nod. Seeing that something had changed in her eyes, that a spark had been lit, made a smile reach his eyes causing them to sparkle too.
Ricky had done his best to handle the situation. He felt like he had done pretty good. She seemed to be feeling better, so he couldn’t have acted completely wrong. His gaze remained on her as she seemed to study him again. If that could help her, he wouldn’t mind. He was not used to such a long eye contact, but for some reason it didn’t felt uncomfortable to him. ”You’re welcome,” he said finally breaking the eye contact and look at the sky again. ”It’s a nice night, eh?” He usually attempted to not show his Canadian accent to much, but it was hard to do. It was after all how she had been taught to speak. He turned his head back towards her and saw her rubbing the tattoos rapidly. He took a chance and gently wrapped his hands around hers. It was just meant as a comfort. ”It’s okay to not be okay. I won’t tell anyone.” He let go of her hands and placed them in her lap. ”Can I ask you a question?” It wasn’t related to anything that had happened, but about their shared passion; movies.

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As he sat down beside her she just looked away and up at the sky above. She liked the night sky the most, seeing the stars that would form eventually, but in the city they were harder to spot. At times like this she would wander to the forest and find a place to relax and look upwards. Just feel the calmness it gave her. But this night was yet to begin fully. She nodded at his words, having a hard time not smiling at his accent. It was rather endearing, and it sounded almost like he was speaking another language, but maybe that was just because Ash wasn’t a native english speaker. Her rubbing of her tattoo was almost like a trance to her; once she started she found it hard to stop. However as he grabbed her hands her face moved to look at him. His eyes hazel like hers, his thick brown hair as wild as the mane of a lion. She still felt her heart beat fast in her chest, and it didn’t help that he was practically holding her hands. For the first time in a long time she felt herself blush and she looked away from those hazel eyes, looking down at her hands that were placed back in her lap. She bit her lip, feeling torn as she remembered the last person that made her react like this was Seven. But thinking that gave her an immense amount of guilt in her stomach, twisting and turning at her guts to make her squirm, yet she sat perfectly still. It’s okay to not be okay. Words she had tried teaching herself as well, but it was like no matter how many times she told herself she found it harder to accept. And why would she accept everything she had been through? Exhaling she just looked at her hands, slouching a bit as she sat there on the bench. It felt like her reality could snap at any moment and she would be back at that horrid place, be trapped and tested every day like some caged animal. He wanted to ask her a question, his words made her swallow as she nodded her head yes. She bit her lower lip, awaiting his question.

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Ricky was not used to silence. He was always surrounded by people. It was strange for him to sit so close with a person and not talking. But in a way, it was also nice. It allowed him to pick up on other things about her. He saw her in a way he rarely saw people. He was always distracted by small-talk that he didn’t notice the details about people. He saw so much more in her now than he had before. Her eyes seemed to shimmer with emotions. He couldn’t decipher which emotions exactly, but she seemed to feel a lot of things. Much more than he did, for sure. She was looking into the sky, stretching her neck and showing the muscles supporting her head. Her lips were formed perfectly. Forcing them apart to speak was almost a shame. He managed to force himself away from admiring her and instead take her hands.
He noticed how she blushed and immediately look away. He didn’t mean to embarrass her. He locked his own hands and wondered whether he should figure out what his studying of her had meant. Was he tired of Lea? Or was it just because he missed her? Or maybe it wasn’t about Lea at all. Maybe it was about Ash. There were few things Ricky needed other than what every human needed to survive. He needed to be liked and to be needed. He would not thrive if he felt like people didn’t need him. Right now, it seemed like Ash needed someone. He wanted to be what she needed to move on from whatever happened to her. He turned his head to her and thought if he should even talk about it now. But then again, a distraction could be just what she needed. ”You don’t have to answer,” he said before asking the question. He didn’t want her to feel pressured. ”Do you come her to see Aladdin or is it really to see me?” He smiled slightly goofy to assure her he was just kidding. He just wanted her to feel better. He liked it when she smiled.

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Ash looked at her hands as he asked his question, but her eyes widened as she then turned to face him again. Her lips seperated, but all she could muster was a small giggle, hiding her hand behind her hand as she did so. Why did that question just remove everything? She kept giggling for a while, closing her eyes as her stomach started to hurt a little from this feeling. It took some time to stop, but finally she opened her eyes, looking at him with her eyes seeming almost fluid. ”I guess … A bit of both,” she said, looking down and feeling shy all of a sudden. Shouldn’t she be heading home already? Luna was out with some friends, so she would just go back to an empty apartment. Looking down at her hands she smiled faintly, fiddling with her thumb. ”I like I don’t have to live my life when I watch a movie,” she said in a silent voice, frowning a bit at her own words. She hadn’t even told Luna about her recent obsession with films and cinemas, but Ash had always been a fan of technology. At least until Elysian, seeing what monsterous things humans could do to each other. ”And I like it when I don’t have to do it alone,” she admitted, having liked when he joined from time to time. Ash was the type of person to depend on others, but could you really blame her? She had been taken to Elysian as a fifteen year old, and now at eighteen she had no idea how the world worked. She could barely describe feelings let alone do her taxes. She was afraid of being alone, being left without anyone to be there for her, and maybe that was why the movies gave her a sense of hope. Maybe she wasn’t alone when the hero got the girl and the bad guy didn’t win.

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Ricky was afraid he had offended her when her eyes widened. His sense of humor could be a little crass at times. When she giggled he couldn’t help but smile. She was really cute when she laughed. It lightened her up in a way. He just sat there and watched how she reacted to his joke. It was nice to know he was the cause of her joy. When the giggles simmered down and she opened her eyes, it looked like she was almost crying. Her answer surprised him. They had spoken so little he just assumed she was only coming for the movies and he was just another face. But now he thought she might just be shy. He nodded when she explained why she enjoyed the movies. ”I feel the same way.” There were most likely different reasons why they didn’t want to live their lives. Ricky thought is life was so boringly ordinary, he just wanted to be a part of something amazing. Had it none been for his father, he would never have known supernatural creatures existed. He would just have stayed in Canada, marrying a girl, having children and dying. Now he was here surrounded by supernatural creatures with no way of knowing what could happen. He like it better when he didn’t know what was going to happen. He was not a fan of plans, which was not a good trait when both working and attending school. Those two things were built up around schedules. ”Watching a movie should always be experienced between more than one person,” He didn’t mind watching movies alone. Sometimes you had to. But it was always better when he saw it with someone else. ”I want to offer you something,” he started and looked at her. ”If you want, you can stay here until we close. Then I would like to walk you home. Just to be sure you get home safe.” Whether she accepted or not wouldn’t change anything. He would still look forward to her coming back. Of course spending more time with her, would allow him to get to know her better.

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So long she had gone without really feeling a laughter spread in her stomach. Maybe she was going crazy and that was why his question had given her such a reaction. In the beginning she had been terrified of coming to the movies alone, but with Ricky there she just knew she wasn’t. It was like he was watching over her in a way she had yet to understand. She exhaled, smiling as he said he felt the same way. Did he though? She couldn’t be sure, but she was not one to discredit other’s feelings. For so long she had lived the same day in and day out, every day was blurred together. Luna spoke of them needing adventure, but Ash really just needed something small to happen. He said he wanted to offer something, she popped her head a bit to the side, looking at him as he looked at her. Why did his gaze make her heart beat increase just a little? She didn’t like to think of why, but she really didn’t mind the feeling. His offer made her smile more genuinely than she had before. When she smiled for real her teeth would always show, like the muscles in her face just needed to show off her straight teeth or something. She nodded, wanting to accept the offer. ”I’d like that,” she said with a smile, looking down again because she felt a little flustered. Did he expect something from her? As he left to finish up, she sat thinking about it. Wondering if she had just promised him something that in his mind was normal but to her seemed weird? She swallowed, shaking her head at her own thoughts. She felt like it took ages for him to come back out, but when he did she got to her feet, walking over to him and the guy he was walking with. Ash blushed again. What would the guy think of her? She exhaled and smiled a little as she looked at Ricky. ”Ready?” she asked in a silent voice.

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Ricky didn’t question why he had taken a interest in her specifically. It just happened. Every time she came in, he would try and make her feel comfortable. Of course, he tried to make everyone feel comfortable, but it was different with Ash. She got more of his attention and care than other customers. Knowing what went on in her head was impossible to figure out. Unlike him, she was much more closed off with her thoughts and feelings. He was a little curious, but also respectful to her keeping her story hers. If she wanted him to know, she hopefully would tell him. He noticed how her smile was different now than before. It was bigger and showed her incredibly straight teeth. He returned her smile. ”I’ll come back soon. If you want to, you can go sit behind the counter.” He didn’t want her to be cold.
He went inside to help Danny clean up. He found him in one of the theaters emptying the trash cans. ”How’s Hazel?” Ricky walked through the rows of seat and picked up what others had left behind. ”I think she’s alright. I offered to walk her home,” Ricky said. Danny rose an eyebrow. ”You do remember you have a girlfriend, right?” Ricky smacked his lips in a slight annoyance. ”Put a cork in it!” Danny shook his head from his Canadian slang, which might also have some British influence, if Ricky weren’t mistaken. When they were done, they both went to get dressed out of the uniform. He changed into another outfit. He and Danny went to Ash after locking everything up. ”See you later, man,” he said and gave Danny a fist bump before he looked at Ash. ”Yes, let’s go.” He started to walked towards the gate he had to lock as well. ”Now it’s your time to lead me,” he said with a gentle smile.

Gæst

It was awful feeling this torn in different directions. On one hand she wanted not to feel guilty looking at guys, but in her mind she still had Seven. She knew he was dead, she had seen his unmoving corpse for God’s sake, but there was still that feeling like he would appear as she turned a corner. That he would make some snarky remark about something clever, making her giggle and run into his arms. But those were daydreams, nothing more and nothing less. People spoke about moving on like it was easy, but it was more like a web you had to cut yourself out of. She had depended on Seven for three years and now he was just gone. She swallowed as she nodded at Ricky’s co-worker as a greeting. She watched the co-worker go and turned her attention to Ricky, his speech making her smile faintly and she just started moving, not really saying anything. Some people watched silence as something being wrong, like a person ached to speak but couldn’t. Maybe in some regard that was applicable for Ash, but she saw it more as calming. If she didn’t have to speak, she didn’t have to think about outcomes of a situation. They walked silently for a while, her breathing calm as she looked at the lights turning on on the lampposts. ”Cool jacket,” she said after a while, smiling as she looked down. She was very bad at small talk, terribly bad. So bad it at times was almost comical. They turned a corner and walking towards the living quarters of Gaia. The streets were never quiet, not in this town. People moving past them, kids from the academy out to play in the night, she liked it. It felt less lonely when she saw other’s around her, but in the end she feared that they would hurt her as well. She moved a lock of her stray hair behind her ear as she looked up at Ricky. Her lips seperated, almost like she wanted to say something, but she couldn’t really find her words. Instead she just exhaled with a small smile and looked ahead again.

Gæst

Ricky did feel like it was wrong to think the way he had about Ash. He couldn’t allow himself to feel attracted to her. He just wanted to help her and be something she could depend on. Perhaps he just had to talk with her at some point about what they could and couldn’t be. Just to make sure they were both on the same page. He would never do anything to hurt Lea and even thinking of another girl felt like cheating. They walked side by side for a while with none of them saying anything. If it had been anyone else, he would have never stopped talking, but to her the silence seemed to be a place where she could find some comfort. He was not going to stop that. ”Thanks,” he said and looked at the jacket. ”It’s kind of old. My mom gave it to me when I was 14. She deliberately bought one a few numbers too big. She wanted me to be able to grow in it.” Talking about his family always made his eyes shine with joy. Although there was also a hint of sadness now. He missed them. He had been home at Christmas, but other than that he hadn’t seen them. He sometimes talked with his mom and Tempest on the phone. He looked around them as houses started to show around them. He had been used to live in mansions back in Canada, all because of his father. His mother and him were mostly just tagging along. His sister was the real jewel to their father. He was treating her so much better than anyone else in the household. Had he not worried too much about his public image, he would had thrown him on the street a long time ago, maybe even his mom as well. His gaze met hers when she looked at him. She was about to say something but halted and then stopped altogether. ”What’s on your mind?” To him it looked like she had something to say but stopped for a reason – she might need a little push. If he was wrong, she just had to say to.

Gæst

He had a family, it made her smile as she just looked at the jacket. She was glad he had a family. She herself hadn’t seen hers in well over three years, not even knowing if they were alive, but it wasn’t safe for her to go to them. At least not right now, maybe she could look for them in a few years time. For now she had to just lay low and stay out of trouble. She missed her home town of Marseille, missed the clear sea she could see from her bedroom window, but that was a disant memory at this point. Sometimes it was hard for her to know what was real and what wasn’t, but she managed at least. His words made her shake her head. ”A lot of things,” she said in an honest voice. Ash had gotten good at lying to herself and others, but right now she was being sincere. Maybe it was because he had already seen a par of her that few people rarely saw. She started rubbing her tattoo again, but this time in more calm srokes. ”I just don’t want to trouble you more,” she said, nodding to herself as she convinced herself that it was the right thing to do. Letting him know things could be a burden, and she saw him as way too nice to bestow somehing like that onto him. They soon reached the aparment, and she looked up, seeing the lights were off. Of course they were off, but it made her heart beat a little faster. She stopped at her door leading into the stairway, looking at him as she felt the drumming inside her chest. Was this was normal teenagers did and felt? Did he want something in return? She looked down, feeling like it was risky to invite him in. First off, it wasn’t really her place, but secondly she really didn’t feel like leaving him right now. ”Would …” she said, clearing her throat as she looked at him, frowning a bit as she sent him a shy smile. ”Would you like to come in?” she asked, moving her hand down her pocket and taking her keys to unlock the door. Would he follow? She hoped. She didn’t feel like spending the rest of the evening alone in the apartment, but then again, she knew nothing of his life. He probably had a girlfriend to go home to, or maybe he was going home to his mother that he spoke about earlier. She couldn’t know. She held the door, looking at him. If he decided to go with her she led them up the stars to the second floor before unlocking the door there. If he decided not to she would stand a bit awkwardly in the doorframe.

Gæst

Ricky appreciated his family, but he really remembered most was his many trips with his sister and mother. That was when he felt most at home. Whenever his father was around, he felt like he was expected to be something he could never be. He didn’t feel wanted. The only thing good his father had ever done was participating in making himself and his sister and taking care of them now. He would not be able to live here if he knew his family wasn’t taken care of. Despite his family not being here, he liked it. He liked staying at the academy and being around supernatural creatures and to work at the cinema. He loved the friendships he had created. He finally felt like he was accepted and appreciated. A lot of things. That didn’t exactly clarify it for him, but maybe it was a way to avoid the question. He shrugged slightly. ”You haven’t troubled me yet,” he said with a calm voice and matching smile.
He stopped when she did. A moment he wondered if she was going to say anything more, or if this was where they parted ways – at least until she came to the cinema again. He just smiled at her when she started a sentence but stopped to clear her throat and smile shyly at her. Ricky nodded to her question. ”Very much so,” he said. He quickly took forward to check the time. He would maybe get in trouble if he was discovered getting into the academy late. He didn’t care though. He wanted to be around Ash some more. He followed her up the stairs. She was a fresh of breath air for him. He was used to people being loud and outgoing. She was the opposite. It made him feel drawn to her in a way. He didn’t know if she even wanted anything other than a friend, and he was not even single. If she should be with someone, it should be with someone who would give her the world. He couldn’t. Ricky tried to convince himself he wanted to be nothing more than a friend, but every time she smiled those shy smiles or wiped hair away from her face or looked at her with her deep eyes, he knew she would never be just a friend. He might never start anything with her, but he would always want to and wonder what could have happened. He sighed and shook his head. He just had to follow the plan; just talk with her about their friendship. It shouldn’t be so hard.

Gæst

She unlocked the door to the apartment, turning on the lights as she stepped in. She took off her jacket, hanging it on a row of hangers and took off her shoes. Shortly she looked at him, feeling a little awkward. Was she supposed to do something? In her confusion she looked down, chuckling a bit as she shook her head. ”Tea? Coffee?” she asked, looking up at him with a shy smile. He made her heart beat faster, and guilt roamed her body still. Swallowing she moved to the kitchen, gesturing with her hand to just make himself at home. She put on the kettle; instant coffee wasn’t her favorite, but it was nice enough when it was this late anyways. She tapped her finger against the cabinet above before pulling out two mugs. Biting her lip again she closed her eyes, leaning her weight against the kitchen counter and just stood there for a while. Very much so, he had said before coming in. What did that mean? She hadn’t really done it before, so to her she found it a little scary. Of course she had had sex, but a stranger in alone in an apartment with her? That sounded like the beginning of a scary movie, and not one where it ended well for her character arch. Was she supposed to act sexy? Alluring like the women in movies? She shook her head no, it was stupid of her to think like this. She was reading too much into it. The kettle started to whistle, startling her a bit but she mixed whatever drink he wanted for him. ”Milk? Sugar?” she said in the loudest voice she could muster, if he hadn’t already moved to the kitchen with her.

Gæst

Ricky was expecting nothing less of spending some more time with her. He liked her and wanted for them to be friends. Maybe more than friends, and still not. He was so conflicted about the whole thing. He was attracted to her and from what he knew about her so far, he could grow to care for her, but even thinking about it just felt so wrong to him. He followed her into the apartment and did as her, taking of his jacket and shoes. He was usually very open-minded about every situation he was in, but now he was trying to be the opposite. To do what was best for Ash, Lea and himself, he had to not engage in anything. He couldn’t allow himself to be impulsive. ”Coffee, thanks,” he told her with a smile. He looked around the place. It was nice. He wished he could afford a place like this, but until he could work full time, he wouldn’t be able to. For now he was completely okay staying at the academy. He hadn’t lived with a roommate yet, so he had a whole room for himself. That was probably best. He could be a little messy.
He knew it could be weird or even scary to have a stranger in her apartment. He wanted to make sure she felt safe with him around. That had been his intention since the projector room. He was feeling protective about her already. He turned towards the kitchen when he heard the kettle. ”Little bit of milk and a sugar, please.” He walked towards the kitchen, looking at her with a smile. ”Thank you for inviting me up,” he said leading a hand against his big head of hair. ”And I just want you to know this is not supposed to end a certain way. I only came here because I want to get to know you better. There is no pressure for it to be anything,” he assured her. He was careful stepping over her boundaries. He was afraid he would do or say something that made her uncomfortable. ”It’s a nice place you have here,” he said to change the topic, just in case she didn’t want to talk about it.

Gæst

Coffee with a bit of milk and a sugar, that was easy enough for her to focus on. She looked at one of the plants in the window sill, making her smile a bit. It had grown quite large for it’s pot, but she was planning on moving it to a bigger one. She liked having plants around, seeing as she could communicate with them, it meant she was never really alone. She heard him come in, turning around and handing him the mug with his coffee in it. She usually just drank hers black, but tonight she had added a bit of milk as well. Just to make it cool down faster. She nodded at his thanks, but didn’t think much of it. She still found it a little awkward, not knowing really what he wanted, or even what she wanted. Was she ready to let go of Seven like that? Could she bear that guilt in her heart? She didn’t know, and she really didn’t want to find out right now. His words did nothing to calm her down, making her cheeks flush with a pink color as she looked away. She couldn’t deny he was handsome, but why did he have to look at her like that? Why did he have to make her heart beat faster when he touched that stupid hair of his? She exhaled, shaking her head at herself as she started biting the side of her thumb. He spoke again and she shrugged. ”It’s not really my place,” she said as she realised she probably had to explain a bit. ”My sister’s ex owns it, but he’s kinda out of town, so me and my sister live here,” she said, not knowing if it even explained anything. Luna and Ash had spend the first few months in Gaia in a shelter, living on the streets and having nothing to their names. However with the help of some friends they had slowly started figuring things out. Alec had been a great help in all of this, and Dylan as well. Without them Ash and Luna would’ve probably still lived on the streets, scrapping together what little food they could. She stood idle for a bit, drinking a sip of her coffee as she looked at the plant. A faint smile came upon her lips as she heard it speak, but it wouldn’t be something he could hear.

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