Reality Blurred

It had been a good while since Luke had stepped foot in this par of the forest. Last time, the clearing had been filled with bright, hot fire, and loud screams and growls had echoed through the thick trunks of the ancient, towering trees. It had been a fight; the last time he had fought for anything, really, and he had fought for Rafael. And for Victoria; for her to stay alive and heal from deep claws that had opened her side and turned the cold February night sticky and bloody and painful. A pain much echoed in the Shapeshifter’s face as he stumbled through the last heavy vegetation and uncharacteristically clumsily fell into the forest clearing.
Blood stained the side of his bearded face, it’s origin a series of small cuts around his left eyebrow, and as he managed to raise and arm to take the impact from the ground now that he was not protected by frail branches anymore, he groaned and took a solemn second to curl up on the dewy grass and protectively wrap his hand around his side.
His ribs hurt from whichever of the many punches that had managed to hit just right and with every speedy heartbeat that pushed blood through his body, heat spread through him. A defeated chuckle left his bust lip. “Oh, God damnit,” he muttered, breathing out a little more controlled this time in an attempt to still the pain in the ribs whenever his lungs expanded too quickly. Embarrassing.
With yet another low groan he placed a hand on the grass and gave a push to gently roll sideways onto his back. Last time. Last time right here, he had been a whole lot more heroic and poised, he thought to himself. What a strange full circle it felt like. Tonight had been the complete opposite of that night. Victoria had cast him aside this time and it stung worse than any of the stupid bruises and cuts.

There were stars tonight, battling to light up the sky along with the full moon. Pretty, clear and lulling him into a state of comfort through the pain, not a thought sent to the recklessness of being near a warewolf pack on a night like this.. It didn’t feel so bad here. Surrounded by nature and the beginning spring and the smell of something familiar and homely. He didn’t even know if this was theoretically part of the Pack Territory or if he was just on the edge of it, but it smelt like werewolves and if he hadn’t found that smell calming and protective before, he certainly did now, after Cecilia’s transformation.
A mild smile tugged the corners of his mouth upwards when he heard rustling somewhere in the woods that surrounded him. It could have been a rabbit. Or a fox or a deer. But it most probably was not.
“I need a drink,” he let known, his voice ringing out clearly into the calm darkness. “Been a real shit evening, man, I gotta tell you that.”
It had not been a clear plan to seek out his old friend; especially not like this, but he had cast one look in the window of a car to realise that he couldn’t go home. His girlfriend would not take kindly to him getting a beating but would take even less kindly to him drowning it in alcohol, he thought to himself. But by God and all the other Holy beings he could think of, did he need one, and so for once, the thought of Cecilia faded from his loud head with every sway of the treetops

The Shapeshifter could only agree, he realised, with the familiar accent that broke the near silence. The directness and honesty was mild and friendly and there was the hint of a smile in the dark voice.
Shifting his gaze from the night sky, the moonlight caught onto fangs, reflecting the pale light; and along with the eyes of an Alpha, it was a sight of power and control. Had Lucas not known the wolf he would have been scared no doubt; but not tonight. His own vision had gotten used to the night long ago, and the features of his friend were clear and visible through the darkness. No doubt being uncovered under the full moon would be a painful ordeal and Lucas opened his mouth to apologise for being messy on a night like this before the voice cut off his jumbled train of thought.
Trying to get yourself killed?
A low chuckle escaped him and he turned his eyes from the alpha back to the star speckled roof above them. “Yeah, no. Not great, is it,” he agreed in a low mumble. It felt inherently like being reprimanded by a parent - even if it was mainly his own thoughts doing the reprimanding and the werewolf actually had sounded really mild. Was he really to explain himself? Could he even do so? In this haze of disappointment and violence that the whole evening had been, he had not been thinking clearly. The initial thought that he couldn’t go home suddenly seemed silly; Cecilia would not even be there. Not tonight. She would be with Irina in the forest and he could have easily just walked back without risking the car. In fact, he should have most definitely gone to Irina’s. Make sure Cecilia was okay. Was it simply that he needed to know? To make sure that at least Rafael wouldn’t do what Victoria had just done?
Luke groaned in annoyance at himself. “Sorry, man. The car broke down a few miles out.” Clearly sabotaged after the beating, a tire had gone flat as soon as he had exited the lit up roads from the city and entered the forest. In between home and here he had made the reckless choice of continuing his journey through the moonlit, ancient forest.

“Injured prey, huh?” He managed a sarcastic mutter and raised his hand towards Rafael to allow his friend to help him back on his feet. He quickly realised that the intention had not been to help him up. Luke’s eyebrows knitted together to create  a faint ‘v’ in his forehead and instinctively jerked his arm backwards as soon as the werewolf grabbed hold of his wrist, knowing well what was about to happen. His eyes removed themselves from the sky to lock stubbornly with Rafael’s. “Raf, don’t-“ The muffled protest faded as quickly as it had appeared and his tense arm immediately went weak. The pain dulled and his eyes lit up in a moment of blissful peace when the pain seeped out of his body. He had hardly realised just how much it had spread until it was no longer there and a wave of exhaustion followed the peace he felt.
He had to grab hold tightly of Rafael’s hand to steady himself, gently bouncing off of the soles of his feet, feeling out how his body reacted to different pressures and slow movements. A few seconds of focus to press a hand onto his ribs was enough to know that nothing was broken. At least there was that, he thought to himself. A few more kicks like that would have surely done the job.
Luke’s eyes raised back up, refocusing on the crimson in front of him. He hummed a small ‘yes’ to confirm that he was well enough to walk. That was the only ‘good’ he could give for now he knew. “You?” He asked with a nod to encourage confirmation, worried that he had absorbed too much pain. The hand Rafael had placed on his own ribs hadn’t gone unnoticed.
“I - uh.” He momentarily pinched his lips together and placed a hand on the broad shoulder of the Alpha, gesturing that he was good to go but still not quite ready to walk without the little support the movement gave him. Even before he spoke, he knew that his words would be loaded with apologetic emotions out of his control. “I found Vic.” And it was hardly explanation enough, but somehow it felt like he could justify the state he was in. At least just a little.

The turn of the evening had most possibly been the shapeshifter’s own fault, but that didn’t mean the small acknowledgement from an old friend did harm - on the contrary it warmed remarkably.  He could only really shrug his misfortune off, though, knowing well that the scenario could have been avoided had he simply thought it through; the fight with Victoria, the fight with the guys on the street and the sabotage of his car.
There had been a small, hesitant moment where Luke had thought that the Alpha would have turned to him with anger or judgement in his eyes, or perhaps even annoyance, but instead what met him was lowered shoulders and deflated defeat that sparked worry in Luke’s eyes, as they crossed the wilderness of the eastern Forrest.
Worry turned to knitted eyebrows and he took his gaze from the path they were following, to regard the bearded face beside him cautiously. The siren.
Luke had to summit a sincere amount of self control to not roll his eyes excessively at the thought of the siren. At least she had seemed to attempt to deescalate the situation after the Phoenix brother had arrived to puff up his chest and nick all of his money. With that thought and the whole showdown playing like a film in his mind, he couldn’t contain the eye roll; though more discrete and natural than what his first urge had been. A low hum escaped him, letting the taller male know that he fully understood. They seemed like a very protective people that had no time to listen or understand before jumping conclusions. “Suppose you were less offensive than me then,” he muttered. Not in any way to compare the two of them - the embarrassment in his voice was evident of that - but to further explain why he was in the state that he was in.
”I got told to piss off by Chief Dickhead of the Flaming Flamingos.” His heart beat a little faster as the thought of the ridiculous Phoenix brother had adrenaline spike through his body. Thankfully the feeling made it easier to walk, and he found himself slowly straightening his back and applying less pressure on the supportive shoulder.

The thought of a drink seemed just about heavenly by then. It would dull the aching body but more so, it might succeed in filling the empty hole that the evening seemed to have pierced through his heart. ”She’s just so goddamn-“ Luke tried finding the right way of explaining it; letting the swearword fade into a hesitant pause before picking up again. ”She’s so determined that we want to control her life or something - so fucking hostile. It just threw me, man.” You have forgotten who you were before you got that fancy job. A stinging comment from a woman who was much more like a sister than a friend. A comment that after tonight felt more untrue than ever judging by the events of the evening. Perhaps that exact comment had hit a sore spot that had him wanting to show that he hadn’t changed a bit and that latter option scared the living hell out of him.
”I called Brother Bird some not-so-nice names in front of a lot of people that didn’t like that. Managed to not hit his smug face on the way out but - eh - didn’t so much manage the few people that waited around the corner.” The shame had disappeared from his voice and slowly turned into a sheepish smile. He was not proud of having taken on a crowd - reckless and surely doomed from the beginning - but in hindsight the stupidity was almost ridiculously funny. It even provoked a defeated chuckle. “Got a few hits in but, yeah. Was not a pretty one. Really poor, in fact.”
Luke shook his head but stopped midway to wince at the sensation that pierced through the painful spot behind his eyes. Had he really lost that part of himself, it made him wonder, as the fresh forest air cooled the heat on his body. The doubt in his mind seemed self sabotaging at most, because deep down he knew that he would never want to be the person he had been back then, on the streets of Moonlight Falls and then at the Serpents. But it was a big part of him and of many of his friendships and it was a scary thought indeed. ”Think we’ve lost it, Raf?” He mumbled, the smile having disappeared as quickly as it had appeared in the first place. Is that why she’s pushing us away?” He didn’t even entirely know what it was. Themselves, perhaps. The street. The survival. The core.

Hostility was not foreign to him - to them, probably - but coming from someone he considered family, had felt like a physical punch in the face. He could only listen and nod in recognition of the words and experiences that seemed to be parallel to his own. He let himself be guided into more homely territories of the forest, the scents of the pack mingling delightfully with the aromas from the dewy woodland and with the heightened awareness of the smells surrounding him, he also quickly caught on to the metallic that most likely stemmed from his blood. With a head that was clearing by every slow step, he felt the heaviness of the stupidity he’d been getting into by coming here on a night like this. It was an anger that clouded his mind – a recognisable and familiar one that he had not had to deal with for a long time.
Luke was not oblivious to the emotions that roamed around in the Alpha next to him and found his bruised hands squeezing Rafael’s shoulder gently, as they entered the meadowy clearing. He hummed. “I don’t – I really don’t understand what happened with her.” Maybe that was the gist of it. He didn’t understand what had happened; what was going on for her to act like this, and when he had tried to ask and to understand, he had been told to leave. “I thought she was okay. She seemed okay, right?” She had seemed surprisingly fine after everything. She’d resumed teaching even and had really felt as balanced as ever until this detonation of anger had hit. “I don’t like it. I have a feeling they’re gonna get her into trouble, Raf,” he muttered. A place like that – organised crime – was an invitation for trouble.

Luke visibly perked up by the glints of lights behind the long lines of towering trees. A very genuine smile found its way, the blue eyes flickering lightly of some nostalgic warmth. The movement caused his lips to sting terribly and he scoffed before forcing the smile to dim. They shared a few of the same bad habit the two of them, and he could only agree that had the werewolf been present, the fight would have ended … well not as embarrassingly one-sided but a hundred times more explosive. “At least I’d have shared the embarrassment.”
His eyebrows furrowed and he gave a light shake to his head. “Good God, man,” he mumbled, feeling the stinging humiliation once again. “And I spend my days teaching kids to do the exact opposite of this shit.”

The silence after his question felt calming; as if the question had merely been rhetorical in some ways. Perhaps they shared the same doubts which was indeed a calming thought. They’d made it a lot closer to the lights, casting streaky shadows onto the forest ground and moving gently along with the treetops, when a confident ‘no’ filled the quietness. Luke’s eyebrows knitted lightly in his forehead, as much as they could without the stinging sensation above his right eye would be too heavy, and he heard himself draw a shaky breath. He had needed that quite desperately, he realised, as he sought his friend’s eyes through the dark.
Trying to become better people. That’s the opposite of being lost.  
They had both automatically slowed down and Luke finally made it to a complete halt as their eyes locked. He nodded slowly; taking in the sentence and repeating it in his mind before letting it fade. “Better people,” he repeated, tasting the words carefully. “Nobody said it would be this fucking hard.”