You can't hurry love [cw]

A soft hum left her as they kept kissing. Once again, the film in the background was forgotten, and it just acted as a noise they didn’t even notice. Or she didn’t at this point.
Not thinking twice, she got up on his lap with one hand against the side of his neck, and the other travelled behind so it could get into his hair. So maybe it was her that had started it again. But he certainly didn’t help the issue with kissing her again. And then the third time had just been to tempting not to act on.
Even so, she pulled away, placing her hands against his shoulders. Breathing heavily, as if he had just made her run half a mile full sprint. Licking her lips, she closed her eyes and then exhaled. “Guess it’s kind of hard to take it slow, huh?” she whispered breathlessly, placing her forehead against his. “I really like you, Zadkiel” she confessed, she did more than like. “in a way many would describe as love, but I also know its soon to say those things, but I want you to be comfortable and know that I would never hurt you” she told him, finally letting her eyes meet with his.

A soft sigh left him as her hand found into his hair. She pulled away in a way that made him open his eyes immediately. Had he pushed her too far? Had it gone too fast? Her question calmed him. A single chuckle left him, and he felt his lungs emptied a little. “Sorry,” he said and felt how she placed her forehead against his. A small smile spread on his lips as she said she liked him. He tilted his head a little up, but without placing his lips on hers, he wanted to tell her that he also really liked her, but before he could say anything she elaborated. She spoke about love, and how she believed it was too soon to talk about love. He agreed, but to a point where he believed that he liked her just as much as she liked him. They were seemingly on the same page. Love would be too early. He closed his eyes shut while he lowered his head a little. He listened to how she wanted him to be comfortable and didn’t want to hurt him. He pulled his forehead away to look at her properly and snaked his arms around her. “Then I can only tell you, that you don’t have to worry,” he said softly. “I really like you too – and probably in the same way you do,” he said and pulled a little smile while he looked at her. “I am… Very comfortable in your presence because…” The thought that had ran over his mind earlier hit him again and for a moment he wondered if it would be too much. His lips on the other hand didn’t agree  that it would be too much, “You feel like home,” he spoke softly. He tried to keep his hands steady. He didn’t want to tell her that he believed that she would never hurt him, because somehow, he just knew that something would hurt, though it might not have been her intention.

She let a soft chuckle leave her lips as he told her that he liked her too, probably the same way that she liked him. It made her so incredibly happy in a way, he probably would never really understand. This whole day had been like a rollercoaster ride, some of it good, some of it bad and some of it really good. She let out a soft breath as he told her that she felt like home. Her eyes looking into his. Her hands moved up, letting her hands placed against the side of his face. Her thumbs by his ears, and her fingers gliding into his hair. Now, he really made it hard for her to take it slow. “I get what you’re saying, you feel like home too” she whispered against his lips, before she closed her eyes and leaned down to kiss him passionately.

Her chuckle to his response was almost mimicked onto him. It made him happy to see her happy. It was incredible how they could affect each other. He might not know just how much it meant to her, but to him, he knew nothing about the fact that he was meant as her soulmate. The fact that she didn’t know it either was probably even as good. His eyes inspected hers, trying to pick up on every color and spark there was hidden in them. He could feel how his shoulders sunk as she placed her hands around his face. He could almost feel how he was pulled towards her as her hands glided into his hair. She replied that he felt like home too and leaned down to place her lips against his, which there was no hesitation about reciprocating. A little too into it, he pulled her hips, and thereby her pelvis closer to him while he was quite occupied with what was going on right in front of him, and not underneath his nose. His breathing became a little shallower. The words that they had just agreed was too early to spill was almost burning his tongue, but it was far too early. They had only really stepped this far today and… Who knew, maybe she changed her mind in the morning. Quite intensely he kissed her back. Filled with love and curiosity. It was almost to an extend that he would  have to move for her to lay down – but he didn’t want to push the bar… even though he might just be in the middle of doing that.

She felt nothing but passion push through her body as he pulled her closer. She knew that she wanted him, the question was just if she wanted him now or if she would rather wait. She had no idea at this point, she wasn’t going to regret it either way. There was no going back now, so she kissed him back with everything so got. Let him lead her into it, following his lead knowing he had more experience than her. Which only made it so much better.
Now she had never really been the believer of being someone’s first, or that people should have loved before. She wanted just wanted to be someone lasts. That was what mattered, not the history but the story they could make together.
Pulling away she breathed rather heavily against his lips, lips slight swollen and parted from each other. “I choose you” she mumbled, “I want to explore everything with you, and you just have to tell me when it becomes too much, because I’m not going to regret or walk away, I’m, I’m here to stay” she whispered, just to make sure that he understood why she was here. She knew that he had no idea what could be going on in her head. So, rather just tell him, right?

The way she kissed him was like no other. It felt powerful, passionate, and most important of all – right. It seemed like she had lowered the speed limit and before he could even keep up, he had gotten her to lay on her back. For a moment, it simply just felt a little too good to be true. She pulled her lips away, which made him look at them shortly before he looked into her eyes. Her words had weight. A whole lot of it. “What?” it escaped his lips before he even realized it. Of course, it could be that he simply hadn’t heard her, but he didn’t truly understand. What had she chosen him for? An explanation followed, but he was still a little confused, and even though Letha and Zadkiel – nor him and Nathalie – had ever really spoken that much when things got intimate, he felt like he needed to know what she meant before he went any further. “What do you want to explore?” he wondered quite breathlessly. Everything else seemed to be in order. He could tell her when things got too much, and she wasn’t going to regret anything or walk away from him. She wanted to stay. The words were comforting.

A slight blush formed over her cheeks, when he asked her what she wanted to explore. Now when he said it like that, it felt so, real. And like she had said something stupid. Licking her lips she looked into his eyes, it was like seeing your whole world. Where his arms and touch felt like someone bringing her home. There were so many feelings to take into consideration, but one thing was sure, she would explore each and everyone with him.
She licked her lips while trying to find the right words to say. You couldn’t just say; hey, would you like to have sex? Did people even say that? Oh god, now she was rambling. Back on track.
Okay, would you like to have sex? No!
Oh god, she was just starring at this point. Okay, Violet, say something. Anything, please!
“How your hands feel on my skin” she whispered
Cool, that sounded, better.
Oh, shut up.
Shit.
Her breathing came out a little shallower while she looked at him. “And, maybe more than that” she added, letting out small exhales through her nose. “Definitely more than that” she corrected herself, biting down on her bottom lip.

He could see how she got more color in her cheeks. It was almost unnatural for him to see, when none of the girls he had been so intimate with had had a pulse. After all, Noa and Zadkiel hadn’t even gotten this far. It had been so much more innocent. He could almost see how she was trying to figure out what was the most correct thing to say, and he only felt how he could relate to it and therefore didn’t pressure her or try to mend her mind to think of something else. His hands on her skin. Something about it almost sounded like a command, but he didn’t act on it at first. His lips split a little trying to code words together, but nothing really seemed to get sent off. Maybe more than that. Holy fucking shit. He almost forgot how to breathe for a moment. Definitely.
Okay, good. He knew how things worked, now he simply just had to communicate what he wanted to do and get going, right?
“Yeah-” he said. It left him blinking for a moment. What the hell had he just said. “I would love to,” he almost whispered a little breathlessly. Well done. Now, he just had to be prepared, right? But prepared was right by his bedside. “I’ll just get some… Protection,” he said almost stumbling over his words. “I’ll be right back,” he said and leaned down to give her a kiss, though he felt how he didn’t want to leave her lips, he forced himself to and crawled out. As soon as he was up he quickly got to his feet. God it was warm inside the tent. He almost couldn’t imagine how it would be when they first actually got going… But then they could just move out right? He looked towards the kitchen, not because he believed he would take her there, but… Shiver ran down his spine and he started to head for the stairs upstairs quite quickly… Maybe a little too quickly, almost stumbling over his feet, but he grabbed onto the railing which made him not get hurt, “I’m okay,” he called to her and got all the way into his bedroom and over to the drawer that was… Filled with protection. God, if she ever saw that she might just believe that he was some kind of sex maniac. He would have to fix that at some point.

“Okay” she whispered as she tried to find the right words to tell her. Licking her lips, she got up after he had kissed her and got out of the tent. Now, there was that awkward pause where she didn’t really know what to do with herself while he found some protection. She looked around a little, not really feeling like taking her phone and looking at it. Ending up taking off her jeans and put them neatly to the side.Then she heard how he almost stumbled up the stairs and told her that he was okay. A soft chuckle left her, and she got slowly out of the small den they had made themselves.  
After quietly debating with herself, she finally got up and walked towards the stairs, getting up them she knocked into the bedroom.
“Are you okay, Zadkiel?” she whispered opening it slowly looking in with a soft smile. Standing in only her long-knitted lavender coloured shirt. Covering the top part of her thighs. Folding her lips together she looked at him, not even noticing the drawer was open. She just looked at him, his face, his eyes. Damn, she had really fallen hard for him.

At some point might be too late. Maybe it would be better if he simply hid them somewhere else so she wouldn’t accidentally look for something in his drawers and notice it? Even though he had one in his hand, he was about to lean down and grab two handfuls, so he could throw them in somewhere in his closet, but just as his fingertips touched the packaging, he heard her and quickly turned his gaze, now if it wasn’t because she had sacrificed a couple of drops of her blood he would probably have fainted by the sight. He looked back to the drawer, almost over his shoulder as he leaned a little back closing it, “Yeah,” he said as if he hadn’t just been thinking that he was the worst for having protection for what he felt like would be a whole army.  His eyes took her in for a moment and he couldn’t help but pull a slight crooked smile. He then approached her, putting the protection into his back pocket on the way.
He took her hands and smiled kindly at her. “If you’re feeling uncomfortable at any time, just tell me, hm?” he told her, hoping that she would agree. He didn’t want to do anything that felt wrong or uncomfortable. After all, it should be a nice experience for both parties. It wasn’t really because he wanted to make her nervous, but he just wanted to tell her that she had something to stay in this. Even if she changed her mind right before.

She smiled at him while he walked over towards her. She felt how her heart started to pick up speed the closer he came. She noticed the slightly different smells hanging around him this time. It was distracting because she had never really thought about just how amazing her sense of smell was, before she had learned what she was. Looking down at their interlocked hands, she let the warm feeling spread from her hands to her chest. Then she looked up as he told her that she should tell him if she felt uncomfortable. She nodded. It wasn’t a joking matter, and it meant a lot to her that he even remembered to tell her. Not that he knew what had happened to her. Which right now was probably for the best.
“And you too, okay?” she whispered, pulling him a little closer. Before letting go of his hands, placing her arms around his shoulder and pulled him into a short innocent kiss. But even though it wasn’t as passionate as the others. It still reignited the fire. It almost felt like a bonfire at this point. Threatening to consume her, if she wasn’t careful. Moving a little away from his lips she opened her eyes and gave him a small smile.

He gave her a kind smile, “Of course,” he replied, as she reminded him to tell her if he felt uncomfortable, even though there might be a greater chance that he would suppress whatever he felt. But who knew? She held onto him, and he leaned the small distance down to kiss her back. It was almost just like a confirmation that what they had just said was agreed to. Communication, especially if something feels off. While their lips weren’t against each other, he could feel a strong pull towards her. He let his hands find their way around her, placing them on each hipbone. The three words were burning on his tongue as he leaned them a little to the side, until she stood on one foot. He would then place his foot under hers and repeat for the other side. A short happy chuckle left him. With her on top of his feet he slowly started waddling towards his bed. He gave her short, cute kisses on their way and when he finally reached the bed, he would squat down and pick her up before he would sit down on his bed.

She couldn’t help with how cute he was about moving her around. He could easily just have picked her up. She was pretty sure that he could lift heavier things than what she weighed. But she wasn’t about to complain about how he did it right now. As his hands had left hers, her arms found their way around his neck, making easier for him to move them around. Kissing him back, before he finally picked her up. Her head leaning back, so she could press her forehead against his. Their breaths mixing as he placed them back in their bed. Now it wasn’t because she hadn’t been in situations like this before, and even though, she had never been in a situation like this before. Because none of them she had been close to be with or had been with had never been like this. No one could compare to Zadkiel.
Leaning down she pressed a gentle kiss against his lips, as her arms moved from around his neck. Her fingers found the edge of his shirt and gently pulled it off him. Breaking their kiss. She looked down and let out a soft chuckle. “Holy shit, it’s really like your photoshopped or something” she mumbled, looking up at him with a looped side smile on her lips. A short exhale left her before she leaned in to kiss him again.

She pressed her lips against his and could feel how her hands traveled. Explored, as she had said herself. He didn’t mind that they had to break their kiss for her to take of his shirt. God he would have to do a lot of laundry in the morning. Shit, no. She complimented him; in a way he hadn’t heard before. Photoshopped. “Well, I can’t take it off,” he laughed a little before their lips met once again. His hands found her half naked thighs and while kissing her passionately, but also in a sensually slow way, he let his hands glide up her thighs, underneath her sweater, on top of her underwear before they slid up to her hips and waist. They continued up along her body, ribs until they reached her bra. Shit. He could deal with it later. He broke their kiss shortly to let his hands take of her sweater, making the sweater end up behind her on the floor. He gave her a short kiss, “Is it cold for you?” he whispered to her, while he let his warm hands glide from her shoulders and down her back until they found her hips.

She liked this. That they could joke and laugh while they took off each other clothes. Even though their kisses told another story. She was also happy that she had taken off her pants herself. Mostly because that was one of her triggers. That and cars. But that didn’t matter right now, not when she could feel nothing but passion knotting in her stomach when his hands travelled up her thighs before they found their way underneath her long sweater. Yet again their lips broke to get her top off her. She heaved in air, feeling how her chest expanded and then fell down again. Now she was anything but cold. Slowly shaking her head, she looked at him, placing her hands on his shoulder. Letting her eyes follow how her hands glided down every edge and curve shoulders, down to his upper arms. Her thumbs carefully caressing over the skin. Then she looked back at him. Leaning in slowly, letting their lips barely touch, parting her lips a little, so her hot breath fell upon his.

She shook her head of his question. She wasn’t cold. Her hands found his shoulder and it was like it swirled his whole worlds. Just how he had been thinking about laundry earlier, it was like his focus simply caught onto her. Nothing was going to take his focus away from her. She noticed how her eyes looked over his arms, caressing every single curve of his muscles. It was odd, how he didn’t think anyone had at the same degree taken their time to get to know every single curve of him before they’ve gone further. Okay… Well, maybe that wasn’t right, since Letha and Zadkiel had know each other for quite a while before they actually got undressed.
She leaned in to give him a gentle kiss. She left her lips slightly parted, breathing into him, like he breathed into her. For a moment it almost felt like a trance like state. Only holding each other, taking in each other’s breath could be enough for him to feel like they were one. It was almost scary. Scary how much he wanted it. As it had taken more than long enough, for them simply to breathe each other in he leaned in and kissed her a little more passionate and insisting. His hands traveled to the lock of her bra while he kissed her. He tried to unlock it a couple of times, but every time he believed he had gotten it open, it seemed like he had managed to lock it again. He pulled a way for a short moment, “I’ll have to leave that one for you,” he whispered a little defeated, but made sure to keep his lips close to hers.

It almost blew her away how comfortable and at ease she felt with him. How he was able to draw out sides in her, that she had never experienced before. Challenged her in a way, that she never had let anyone challenge her before. It scared the living shit out of her. She had to be honest about that, at least to herself. But it was also like something finally clicked, like when people after a couple of years of being together tells about it. Saying that they just knew, the day they met they knew. That was the same she had felt, there had been no question about it. And even though she had said no to her father each time he had asked if there was something more going on. If she was sure that Zadkiel was only a friend. She had known.
But it was not only that, but it was also the fact that he could drew out sounds of her that she had never made before. Feed a fire so great in her, that she had no idea what to do with herself. Letting him lead them; her through this.
She noticed that he seemed to have problems with her bra and was just about to ask if she should help him. A soft chuckle left her, as he pulled away to let her know that he was going to leave that one to her. “Place your hands over mine” she whispered, leading them towards the clasp of the bra. Showing him how to press them towards one another before you could twist it a little. Then letting it go so it would open. Feeling how her heart picked up speed as she was about to let the bra slip of her arms. Then she removed it and let it fall to the floor. Her chest raised as she took in a big inhale, trying to calm herself a little. Looking down between her, she was suddenly struck with a moment of not really knowing what to do.

Zadkiel pulled a soft smile as she laughed a little with him. Things was never going to be smooth, quick or anything like that. Things just took time if you truly wanted to have a good time. He did as she told, and placed his hands on top of hers, feeling how she flicked the bra open. "Thanks," He almost whispered to her. Though it was nice of her, there was just something so challenging about it, and he didn’t understand why, but it was probably because he didn’t wear one for everyday use. Soon her bra was on the floor. He was quite quick to notice how she seemed somewhat lost in what she was supposed to do, so he didn’t really hesitate before he started to kiss her neck. While he kissed her neck, held her close, and let one hand slowly glide from her hip and up towards her chest, before he would fondle her chest with light sensual touches, mostly hoping that it would please her, sensing a special kind of tickle.
He started working his way down her neck. First, he let the arm on her back gesture her to get a little up on her knees. When she got far enough up, his hand leave her chest, and he placed it underneath her bum to support her. He let his lips travel down towards her chest, occasionally looking up at her, to make sure she didn’t think he was going too far. If she seemed to be pleasured, he would go ahead and find her nipple. Everyone was different and he truly wished to figure out what way he would be able to pleasure her right.

She leaned her head a little away, so he had better access to kiss it. She felt a little stupid because she had absolutely no idea what to do and felt like she ended up just sitting there. But those thoughts quickly disappeared as his hand found her chest. “Oh god” now she knew that one shouldn’t take the lords name in vain, but she had no other way to describe what he was doing to her right now. Pleasurable chills glided down her spine, she curled her toes and swallowed the water that had formed on her tongue. Moving with him as he guided her to sit on her knees. Gently and a little hesitant, mostly because he almost took all her focus away, she let her hands glide into his hair from the back of his neck. Maybe it helped that he was so gentle and took his time. Maybe it helped him that she had absolutely no control over the situation, and he had it all. Her eyes almost rolled back in her head, and she arched her back as he started playing around with different things around her chest area. Absolutely spellbound with whatever it was he did.

She didn’t tell him no. Nothing of what she did told him that there was any of this that she didn’t enjoy. So, he continued. He did understand if she felt a little misplaced, because it was a new thing for her to experience, and she wouldn’t truly know what to do with herself yet. And could accept that fully. Now, it wasn’t because he wanted everything to be perfect, because nothing was every perfect. But he aimed for her to have a good experience, even though they both were wrecks. After all, they both attended therapy for a reason.
He could feel how her hands found into his hair, almost telling him to continue. So, he did. She even arched her back while he worked on the sensations in her chest. With one hand on her back, supporting her, he let the other hand glide along the bottom line of her panties before they slowly got underneath the fabric and gracefully let his hands slide closer to her most private parts. He was gentle and caring with his movements. If there was no tension building up with second thoughts, or other possible sign of taking back her consent, he would proceed to find her pleasure where his hand had gotten to.

Now it was clear to her know, that he knew exactly what it took, to both make her feel like she was secure. But also, how to pull sounds that had never left her before. How her legs started to shake a little as his fingers started exploring parts that normally would have triggered a response in a more negative way than what she was showing right now. She almost wanted to beg him to continue, but she bit down her lip instead. Not wanting to become too demanding or say things that would scare him. A loud gasp left her, as she wasn’t able to keep it from escaping her lips. He had found someone that had shot pleasure through her body. What on earth was that. Almost panting for air she had a hard time to keep her position that they were in now.

He could feel how she started to shake as his hands found their way between her legs, but the way she moved besides from that, clearly told him that it was pleasurable. He listened to her breathing and could almost hear her heart pounding through her chest. He could feel how she almost became a little heavier to support. Now, it wasn’t a problem for him to keep her there, but for it to be as pleasurable for her as possible, he eventually removed his hand which was already quite moist. Almost carrying her for a little moment he managed to get her onto her back and placed his lips on hers. There were still layers of clothing to get rid of. He pulled away shortly and pulled of his sweatpants. Leaving them equally dressed. He crawled on top of her and gave her a short kiss. “Is it okay?” he wondered.

Suddenly the world turned upside down, a little too late she realised that he had moved her, and she felt the soft duvet pressed up against her naked skin. She didn’t waste any time to kiss him back, as he placed his lips against hers. Even though waves of pleasure had washed over her, when he had been kissing her other places. It still didn’t take away from the fact, just how much she loved when he kissed her like that. A soft exhale left her, as she watched how he moved away. She popped up on her elbows and watched how he took off his pants. Holding her breath for a moment. Then he was back hovering over her. The short kiss did nothing to quench the fire building in her. “Yes” she whispered leaning a little back, as she nodded. “More than okay” she added. As she leaned back into the soft covers and let her hands wander over his over arms. Letting her thumbs slightly push against the soft skin, as they travelled up.

Everything he did at this point, made her moan softly. He could make her jerk and twist in the position she was lying under him. Her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted as he made sure to figure out what she liked. But, at this point she wasn’t even sure if he could do something that she didn’t like. It was almost explosive how it tingled over her body, craving for more. Almost like something in her demanded for a connection to be made. She didn’t quite understand it, not knowing that witches had mate bonds that would connect them to a mate. How it felt when you were near one, and how you craved them to be close to you all the time.
But that was exactly what it felt like. That even though they were almost as close as two people could be, it still wasn’t enough. “Zadkiel” she almost begged, as her hands glided over his arms. She opened her eyes, as her hand glided down his chest, and her eyes caught his.