Brightside of me [cw]

She agreed, and for a short moment he wondered if she meant it, or simply said it to seem stronger. He gently took her hand and started to wash it, getting closer and closer to her elbow, but it didn’t take long before he was asked what was on his mind. He looked up at her shortly before he continued on her arm. “I’m thinking of ways I can help you,” he replied, only to think that how his thoughts had been spinning around helping her, there had been multiple things he had had on his mind, some of them simply being taking care of herself when she was alone, but he couldn’t really say that, and he was certain that she did that already. When it had so much control of her, he couldn’t think much different from her. “I’m thinking about how well you have been at hiding it,” he pulled a little smile, “You’re strong,” he told her, knowing that it wasn’t easy for her. He dipped the sponge into the water, and he was uncertain if his finger had simply gotten used to the water or if it simply just was tolerable now. “Almost there,” he told her. He almost wished to hurry with washing her so she could get into the water, and they would be able to take care of her torso.
“You did it,” he told her and let the sponge fall to the floor. He stood back up, “The water is okay,” he told her, giving her a helping hand, hoping that she was willing to get to the edge of the bathtub, so he could remove the stool and help her down in the water. He knew very well that she was capable of handling these things herself, but he wanted her to know that he was fully there for her. When she was back in the water, that was still hot, but not in a damaging way, he picked up the sponge again. Before he continued, his hand found the back of her head and gave her forehead a soft kiss. “Close your eyes and lean back. I got you” he told her as he leaned a little away. He supported her head as she hopefully followed his guide. He let her head stay above the water before he with the sponge took care of her face and neck, a little more gently than with her limbs.

It was weird being taken care of like this. She had never been used to it; even though she wouldn’t say her parents were terrible parents, she always wondered if they had ever wanted a child. Or if she had been one of those kids you got because the society made you believe that you should get one. They were never really home; she hadn’t seen them at any of the contests she had been at, even when she had won the spelling bee trophy back when she had been fourteen years old.  
So no, her parents weren’t the most caring nor present ones. It was not like the Walkers that had taken her in when they noticed she had been home alone.
And now Ryan was the one taking care of her. “Okay”, she whispered when he told her that they were done and she could get into the water as well. Her eyes closed as soon as she felt the warmth that formed around her body.
She couldn’t help herself, and as he started washing her face, she lifted her hand, feeling how the water dripped from her fingers. It found his cheek, and her eyes slowly opened as her hand glided from his face into his hair.

He continued to support her, even though her hand found his cheek. To him, it didn’t matter that her hand was wet. He let his eyes find hers, instead of focusing on the task. “You good?” he spoke softly, only letting his eyes leave hers to be sure that he didn’t get the water in her eyes. He worked gently around her throat, knowing very well she had been handled quite rough and could be quite sore. The sponge worked down her neck to the collarbones and shoulder area and if there was space for it, he took care of her upper arms too, trying not to get too close to her torso. “You’re doing so well,” he praised her and gave her a small smile. “It’s going to get real difficult now,” he warned her, raising his brows a little, but with a calm expression, simply wanting to prepare her. “Can you lean against the tub’s backrest?” he suggested, supporting her if she moved, making sure she wouldn’t bump her head into anything on her way.

As he worked around her wounds and bruises, she kept her eyes on his face, letting her fingers touch his skin, and in a way, it helped her distract herself from what he was doing. Her fingers gently touched his hair, pulling out a few strands and letting it roll between her thumb and index finger.
“Yeah, I can do that” she nodded and then moved her hand away from his face to use it to press herself back up so her breasts would be over the surface of the water. She breathed heavily as she could feel how the water swashed around her body as she moved around. With a sigh, she opened her eyes again and looked against Ryan; her hand found his face again, but this time her thumb glided over his lips, remembering how they felt against hers, and even though she knew that he was trying to make her feel clean again, she leaned upward and placed a kiss against his lips.

She moved up and he slowly let go of her head to support himself, putting his hand on the edge the furthest away from him, letting his ribs be leaning against the tub. Before he could get to wash her torso, she leaned in for a kiss. He reciprocated it gently, having the hand with the sponge find her shoulder. He let the kiss stay short. “You’re almost done,” he whispered. “Just a little longer,” he told her, and removed his hand from the tub gently put on top of her shoulder, right by her collarbone, simply to gently tell her to wait a little longer. “You’ll feel better if we finish up,” he told her almost whispering, letting the sponge on her back start to glide over her skin. “We can do it,” he told her softly, both trying to convince her and himself. Hopefully he would be able to get her tummy too. He had this strong feeling that her chest and her more private parts would be almost impossible.

She nodded reluctantly, pulling away from him after their kiss. Letting out a small breath, she leaned back into the water. “Okay,” she whispered with a small smile and then closed her eyes. She tried to focus on her breathing, in-out, push away the intrusive thoughts that weren’t welcome right now. Maybe they should talk about them afterwards when she was clean, and they could go down and drink their now cold Choco and eat some popcorn, maybe snuggle under the covers to a good movie.
They could do it; she tried to convince herself repeatedly, even though it was hard. Because she could feel the urges and how it was hard for her to control herself, “I’m not sure I can do much more”, she whispered with a patchy voice; “Maybe I should finish up the rest myself?” she asked, looking towards her, not being able to hide the longing in her eyes.

Ryan was slow, and started the least intimate place and let the sponge glide over her ribs and  down, but it only took one stroke before she whispered to him, which made him stop, “Of course,” he replied. He was quite proud of how far she had made it, and how she had been able to keep her hands steady. “Can I stay in here, or would you like to be alone?” he wondered, mostly wanting to stay to be certain that she wouldn’t accidentally hurt herself or use the sponge for something it shouldn’t be used for. It certainly wasn't because he wanted to stare at her cleaning herself, he would most likely do something else while she finished up.

She looked at him for a moment while she thought things through, it was clear that he wanted to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid, and she could feel a wave of shame wash over her as she gave him a small smile. “You can stay if you want”, she whispered; taking the sponge, she started moving over the areas he hadn’t covered. When the rough surface of the sponge graced a spot that would bring her pleasure, she bit down on her tongue in the hopes that she could redirect the pleasure. She didn’t want him to be displeased with her if she tried to give herself some release, even though it itched and her entire body felt like it was aching from her not letting herself linger at the spots where she wanted to be touched. She fought not to cry; it almost felt worse now because she wanted something so much but wasn’t allowed.

He nodded and slowly got up from his position and walked away, studying different things in the bathroom. He could hear how her heart was starting to race, her breath that became shallower and how her body started to smell just a little bit more inviting. He scratched his jaw a little, trying to think about how this could continue in the safest way possible. He looked up towards the ceiling taking a slightly deeper breath in, “It’s okay,” he told her and leaned a little back until he sat on top of the toilet lid, “You’ve done so well,” he told her and pulled a smile, once again revealing the pretty dimples. “I’m proud of how much we managed to clean together,” he told her, keeping himself from looking towards her. Even though he almost told her that she could release herself, he wasn’t even sure that it wouldn’t make himself excited, because even though he wouldn’t stare at her, he could hear and smell her. Imagine her.

Then he told her that it was okay. And almost as if he had given her permission, she let out a small pained breath left her, and the sponge was floating to the surface. Her fingers found her centre. Her stomach pulled together as she leaned her head back, hearing and feeling how the water moved with her movements. She couldn’t hold back small ‘oh god’ as she threw her head back, biting down on her lip as she remembered how his lips had felt against hers, his hands over her skin, all that filled her mind was him. A whimper left her as she realised she couldn’t fulfil herself, at least not enough. “Ryan”, she whispered, almost wondering if he would relent if she begged him.

He closed his eyes as the first sound left her. He heard how she let go of the sponge and how it resurfaced. He folded his lips as she whispered, and he slowly leaned his head back, trying to think of anything else than how she sounded and smelled. It would be a lie to say it didn’t affect him. She whimpered and he squeezed his eyes for a short moment. Right after her whimper she whispered his name. It was honestly making it difficult for him to stay in a clear mind, he turned his head a little, opening his eyes, looking towards the ceiling, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. “Yes?” he replied softly.

She swallowed the spit as he replied to her by saying his name; suddenly, she had no idea what to say or do. One thing was sure, this wasn’t working, and her hand left her centre with a soft annoyed moan.
For a moment, she just sat there, or more like laid there. Then she decided to get out, and not caring about the fact that she got the floor wet, she walked over to him. “Look at me”, she whispered, not knowing if she should be the first one to take the step now. She knew he was trying to make sure that she felt safe, that she shouldn’t feel pressured in any way, but there was a fine line in him not knowing if it was only her desire talking or if she actually wanted him. But she did; she really wanted him.
“I really, ehm want you, and I’m afraid that you might think it’s just because of what happened, which I might not be able to truthfully tell you it isn’t, but I know I won't regret it if you want me too” she whispered softly, before letting her hand find his cheek.

She sounded annoyed which made small wrinkles appear in his forehead as he furrowed his brows. He waited for whatever she wanted to say, but at some point, he could hear how she got up from the tub, and worried about whether or not she was going to slip, he opened his eyes and looked at her, just as she had commanded him to. It didn’t take many steps before she got over to him, sitting on the toilet lid.
A giant lump formed in his throat, from the tension of what was going to happen. He blinked a few times as she explained herself and felt how her hand found his cheek. He let his hand place itself on top of hers before he stood up and looked into her eyes for a short tension filled moment. “I hope you’re either protected or have some protection laying around,” he told her, as in indirect confirmation. “And dry yourself,” he said with a small smirk on his lips.

She pulled back her bottom lip as he told her that he hoped she was either protected or had protection. Then she titled her head, and a slight smirk formed over her lips. “I have both, so, whatever you prefer”, she whispered. Then she turned around, grabbing a towel as he had told her to dry herself off. Walking over, she pulled the plug on the tub so the water could run out; as it did that, she walked past him, winking as she walked to her bedroom, not waiting for him to follow; right now, she sort of just hoped he would go with it, and if he would even be able to keep up. At least he was a werewolf; they had another stamina than most humans could keep up with.
Shit her mind was already getting ahead of her. Shaking her head a little, she turned as she came to the bed. “Dry enough?” she asked, scrunching her nose a little and giving him a bright smile.

He watched how she reacted to his reply and could easily see that it ignited a special kind of excitement. Even though he could walk to her bedroom already, he chose to stay and keep an eye on her, giving her a light chuckle as she winked at him. It spread a wide smile on his lips. This was certainly another way of initiation sex and getting consent. While she got out of the bathroom, he took her clothing and threw it in the laundry basket. She would probably not want to wear it when they were done. Shortly after he walked up to her bedroom, having given her a short moment to actually get a chance to dry herself as much as possible. He only just got inside was he asked if she was dry enough. Her smile was mirrored on his lips, “I don’t think it’s going to get much better,” he said and approached her. He leaned a little down towards her, being relatively close, so she would be able to feel his breath over her skin, his hands had framed her, being placed on the edge of the mattress. “And you’re certain about this?” he wondered with a small smile on his lips. If she confirmed, his smile would widen and he would lean in for a kiss, letting one of his hands find her waist. His hand was very warm, compared to how her skin might have gotten a little cold from walking around somewhat wet in the cold house.

She didn’t move nor move her hands. She just looked at him; she nodded slowly when he asked if she was confident that she wanted this. “I’m certain”, she whispered, mostly just wanting him to be sure that he was ready to take this step because, as she had warned before, sex complicated things far more than anyone could predict. As his hand found her waist, her eyes closed and took in the feeling of him being so much warmer than her, the goosebumps forming over her skin as she then started moving further into the bed. “maybe you should get out those clothes then,” she whispered with a husky voice, letting her eyes travel from his lips up to his eyes and feeling rather underdressed compared to him.

She pushed herself further onto the bed, and he followed until he couldn’t reach much more. She then told him to get undressed which made him straight back up, taking her in for a moment. He could see past the bruises, but he certainly wasn’t going to ignore them. He pulled his shirt off with a very simple movement. One got used to undress when  they had to transform every now and then, right? It could be very expensive if one didn’t remember to undress at least. After all, he had been an idiot the other day where he had skipped that step. Fucking temper.
With quick movements he removed his socks and unbuckled his belt, looking at her to be certain that she didn’t suddenly retreat. Eventually, he was dressed just as much as her, crawling onto the bed, leaning in to place a kiss against her lips. His hands were careful around her, and he gently moved his hands, so he suggested that she had them straight, or that they at least were free so she could move around, because as soon as her legs were free to move, her laid down with her, supporting her on the way. His hands were soft and gentle with her, almost in a teasing manner. He managed to pull her leg up along his side and he let his hands slowly find her delicate folds. Was he even surprised that she was ready by now? “God,” he whispered against her lips with a wide smile. His fingers were making sure that he wasn’t mistaken from the bath’s water as he let his fingers carefully find her center.

Her eyes didn’t stray from him at all; it was almost as if she was utterly mesmerised. She wasn’t sure she had ever felt that before because it wasn’t like she usually was, a woman filled with lust that just needed to get the next fix she could get her hands on. No, it felt more profound like that, she was almost nervous, and she couldn’t quite figure out why she was feeling this way. It scared her, but in a good way? No, it was clear that her thoughts weren’t a coherent matter but a stream of consciousness where she couldn’t really grasp onto one feeling, one need or thought. But as he crawled toward her, all those thoughts became one. It was almost surreal how he suddenly filled her entire view as if he made sure that nothing else could touch her in those next few hours. He would be by her side. Or she hoped he would stay afterwards, which was another new for her, the need for him to stay and not just leave her alone when they were done. She kissed him back and felt a moan form in her throat, feeling how his hand explored her body, taking away any of the bad experiences that she had felt up until now.
“Yes- What is it?” she chuckled as he uttered the name, God, not that she particularly saw herself as one, but it was almost too easy not to use that one. But then she threw her head back as his fingers found her centre, and she could already hear and feel how she was ready for him.

A short laugh left him as she replied. “You’re such a dork,” he told her, with glee in his voice. He noticed how she threw her head back a second later, which made his eyes take her in for a moment before he started to kiss her neck. He repositioned himself a little, so he was positioned above her. He leaned closer and his member was supposed to simply glide along her folds but when it was this slippery, that stepped was skipped and a soft groan left him from the surprise of how warm it felt. His hand found her hip and lifted her with ease, just a bit so it wasn’t just the tip, but close to the full length of him. To make things pleasurable for both parties, he changed his position a little and pulled one of her legs up next to him. He kissed her neck to fill every gap of them not having explored each other’s body fully before. He thrusted a few good times before he slowed down, “You good?” he wondered, wanting some kind of affirmation before he continued, so he was certain that this wasn’t going to end up being pleasurable for him only.

She folded her lips and nodded when he called her a dork. “But only when it’s with you”, she managed to get out as she felt his lips on her neck; it gave her so much pleasure that she found it hard to lie still underneath him. Squirming around as she tried to hold back her moans but failed, and as he finally entered her, she was almost sure he would make her come undone in seconds; maybe she was just more sensitive because she had held herself back in the bath, she wasn't sure.
“Yeah, I’m good”, she whispered, sighing loudly as he connected them further. “I ehm”, she tried to see if she could speak through the trusts that their bodies made to one another. “I, oh, that is good”, her back arched, and her pelvis pushed closer to his. “you don’t have to be too gentle; I like it rough”, she finally managed to explain, knowing it might sound disheartening to some, but it wasn’t a coincidence that she always looked so beaten, because she always sought the pain, and in a way she liked, but sometimes, like tonight it could get out of hand.

She confirmed that she was good, which made him continue, though he paid attention as she tried to get words out. Though he couldn’t help but smile when she commented that something was good, or simply when she was kept from saying thing because of the thrusts. You don’t have to be too gentle. For a moment he was about to tell her that he believed that she might be sore, but when she healed like she did, soreness might not be a problem for her anymore. Besides, he had taken her pain multiple times already. “Alright,” he replied a little breathlessly close to her neck and ear before he made his thrusts harder and gently bit onto her neck. One of his hands found it’s way into her hair, close to her scalp and grabbed onto it, pulling it, so her head was leaned back and naturally created another curve down her spine. The other hand held onto her hip to make sure she stayed in place. He wouldn’t want to lose himself too much.

The passion entirely overtook her; there was no way she would ever believe she would ever end up in this situation with Ryan, even if it had crossed her mind many times. Her eyes
had wandered when they had done innocently things, like playing in the pool, or he had been out running. Then the negative thoughts started to whisper in her ear, asking her if he really thought she was better than the other girls he had been with. If she could ever measure when she was so broken and used by many before him. If she wasn’t just something to pass the time with, she swallowed and closed her eyes as he kept going, wanting nothing more than just to enjoy the moment. But then intrusive thoughts started shouting at her, telling her just how disgusting she was, all the things she had let other people do to her, and why could she ever be good enough for a man like Ryan.
Her legs grabbed around his waist, and she swung them around so she would be sitting on top. She started slowly before she started increasing the speed. Feeling how sweat glided down her back as she threw her head backwards. Wanting to enjoy this as much as she could, just hoping she could actually keep her word and not regret it.

Ryan had mostly kept his eyes to himself, but of course, his eyes had caught things, both about her and so many others. As a small kid, you took everything you could, some girls were simply appreciated more than others. Even though he had thought about her before, it certainly didn’t mean that he had believed he would ever end in the situation – but now that he was in it, he was simply glad that it was him. He was happy that he could be there for her that he would be able to love her despite of the trouble she had. On the other hand, he had no idea how often the impulses got to her, and he had no idea if he would be able to keep up with it.
To him, he didn’t compare anyone. Everyone was different and everyone had their pros and cons, but he would never be able to put someone over another, unless they simply treated him like trash. She wrapped her legs around him, and he had already seen what was coming next. She swung them around, and he let go of her hair, letting his hands find her hips, assisting her movements, leaning his head back shortly before he actually looked towards where they were connected. One of the hands on her hip slid towards their connection to find her clit. Ryan had nothing against any of this, except for the words she had said about how sex complicated friendships – but this wasn’t really a friendship anymore, was it? He would have to talk with her about that in the morning. While he was paying attention to the small pleasure pearl, he let the other hand glide up her bruised body. Even though she had told him that she liked it rough, he wouldn’t just squeeze her chest like lemons. He fondled them and let his thumb glide over her nipple.

Loud gasps started to leave her, and as he managed to draw her thoughts away from those that were like a roar in her head, competing with what was happening right in front of her.  She tried to focus solely on him and nothing else. Even if it was hard to keep her composure, especially when he meant so much to her, and the last she wanted was that their relationship would have an end, only to realise then that everything had an end, and maybe she should just enjoy it while it was there.
As his hand found her chest, her own hand folded over his and moved with it, mostly showing him how much she enjoyed it. Then she could feel how a wave of pleasure started to rush over her, and she leaned forward—making him curve inside her, only making the passion even greater. “Wow”, she whispered as she, for a moment, laid there, gaining some composure before she sat back up and started moving with far greater speed than she had done before.