Brightside of me [cw]

Her parents, as on so many other nights, weren’t home. Another fundraiser for her mother's work, and even though she never questioned her parent's love for her, it was only shown in the gifts that they already brought home, almost as if they tried to buy her affection or understanding as to why they were never home. She usually didn’t really care, mostly because she took extra classes to get into a better school when she was finished with Athena Academy, which meant a lot of extra hours doing homework. But now it was summer break, which meant that there wasn’t any school. Most of her friends were either out travelling or partying. And even though she would love to join, she didn’t trust herself enough around alcohol.
The intrusive thoughts had gotten stronger as of late, and it was like nothing could really satisfy her. Or at least not something she could do to herself was enough. She could, of course, just go to London with her other friends, but since last time she wasn’t sure that would be such a good idea. So, she opened the messages on her phone she had been exchanging with Ryan, a cheesy smile spread over her lips, and she rolled around in her bed, so she was lying on her stomach, her legs hovering over her backside. After everything had gone down with Seraphina and the meeting with Nicole, it was like they had found their old connection. Staying over and watching movies, her getting him to paint her nails, goofing around with face masks and cooking dinner together. Maybe if they could do something like that, she could get her thoughts onto something else.


After the text was sent, she quickly opened one of her game apps. Hopefully, he didn’t have any plans, and she could then ask if he would be up for meeting.

Ryan was in the middle of vacuuming when he received a message on his phone. He had gotten quite bad at having it on him now that he didn’t really text with Seraphina anymore. Therefore, he didn’t hear his phone pling. Riley, however, sat right next to it and glanced towards it and picked it up to see who was texting him. Usually it was just something ordinary, but this time… It was Georgia. A sly smile spread on Riley’s lips, and he managed to open the phone with two tries.


Riley was quick to send it and kept it hidden in his lap, just to make sure that Ryan got out of the house. He had gotten angrier by time, and it was quite odd. Ryan was always the one to have a smile on his face and goof around being all kinds of stupid, especially when he didn’t know how things worked. Maybe he just didn’t function well enough unless he got a little hanky panky every now and then? After all, he hadn’t really been single the last seven years, even though there had been a gap somewhere. That meant all of his teenage years he had had a girl to deal with him, and now he had none. Poor guy. Just kidding.

A message pinged in and Riley was quick to open the phone to read the message. Sadly, he had been outed. He was about to reply, declining that it was Riley who wrote, but as he was about to find the right smiley for the message, another message arrived. Dino suit.

[20:44] NOOOOOOOOOOO
[20:44] NOT THE DINO SUIT
[20:44]      

A new message arrived, and his heart started to beat quickly. What did Aurora actually think of Riley? His cheeks gained a lot of color and a very shy smile spread on his lips as his fingers hovered over the screen before he replied.

[20:47] Would you do that for me?
[20:48] No wait… Do it. Tell me what she thinks!
[20:48] I’m sending Ryry over. Better shave while you can

As soon as the messages were sent, Riley started to delete the messages. “Ryan!” he shouted, which made Ryan shout back. “Georgia just texted me. She needs wine, ice cream and all that!”
“Oh, God,” he mumbled and went to unplug the vacuum machine. He put it back on its place and started to pack a net full of things. Most things were already packed and ready. Yes, he had face masks and nail polishes too, because there had been colors or effects, he believed had sounded cool. He let a hand run through his hair before he opened the fridge and pulled out two half liter ice creams and threw in the net. “See you later!” he yelled, leaving without his phone.

[20:55] He threw everything in his hands. He is on his way  

Ryan exited the house and skipped a quick couple of steps, holding onto the bag he was carrying. When he reached the front door of the Collin’s estate, he rung the doorbell and when the door would be opened, he would lift the bag up, “I got some snacks,” he said with a slightly crooked smile, showing one of his dimples.

A giant, if not goofy smile, started forming on Georgia’s lips as she read the messages that Riley texted her. So he had a soft spot for Aurora; she knew it, dancing around it for months; she had already aired her thoughts to Ryan, not that he was any help in the matter. But he wouldn’t even see what was right in front of him, even if it hit him straight in the face, honestly, with that boy.

[20:48] Okay, but only because it’s you    

She had just sent the message when his own came in, shave? Shave? Shave!?
Slightly panicked, she got up; what on earth did that mean, that wasn’t why, oh god. She managed to dance around herself five times before another message came in that he had already left. “Fuck”, she threw the phone on her bed and only managed to get down to the door as the doorbell rang. She opened the door; slightly out of air, she had both hands on the open door and looked first at his hands then up at his always disarming smile; “Hi”, she laughed and then opened the door far enough for him to step inside. “Come in” she waved her hand behind her and then closed as he stepped inside. For fuck shake, Riley, why did he have to write that last part? Now she couldn’t think about anything else, making it itch in places where she couldn’t reach, at least not while Ryan was here. “Ehm, do you want a glass of wine or something?” she asked, clearly a little out of it as she skipped toward the giant kitchen.

Ryan noticed how she was slightly out of air and only entered when she told him to. He took his shoes off with the heel to toe method and looked up at her as she asked him if he wanted wine. He looked down into the bag and fished a flask up, “Certainly,” he said with a smile, handing it to her. Her favorite. He followed her towards the kitchen and put the bag on the nearest counter and found the two ice creams. “I hope you got some space in the freezer, because I also brought ice cream,” he said and looked up at her before he moved towards her freezer to open it and put them in. They had known each other for such a long time that he knew where everything was. Of course, there had been periods of their lives where they had been busy, and something had been moved around, but it wasn’t the case here.

Grabbing the wine he had handed to her, she placed it on the counter and shortly looked over her shoulder as he mentioned that he had brought ice cream. “Oh, yum”, she said with a soft voice and a big smile on her lips, but she was having a hard time focusing on anything but the lust spreading in her chest and the warmth between her legs. She wanted to curse Riley, but he couldn’t have known. Still didn’t make this any easier.
Okay, what could she do to get her mind on something else? She needed, oh god, her mind was wandering to dangerous places, and before she could stop herself, she smashed the wineglass, and the shards pierced her skin; the pain was so overwhelming, but she felt a release in having something else to think about. “Oh shit! Oh my god, I’m so fucking clumsy” she laughed as she lifted her hand and ran toward the sink and turned on the faucet. “Shit, can you hand me the paper towels?” she asked, looking like someone who didn’t really have any problems with the blood everywhere and how it was mixing with the water in an almost violent manner.

He only just got to close the freezer when he heard how glass shattered and he looked towards her, seeing how blood started to glide down her hand. He was quick to find the paper towels and moved over to her to grab her hands and fold the paper towels around them, almost holding her hands. “What happened?” he wondered and made sure to take the pain from her. Something like that could be troublesome for a long time for humans like her, and to him, well it wasn’t as bad. He took her hand in one of his hands and pulled them over her head. The higher she kept her hands above her heart, the less she would bleed. While holding her hands over her head he shut off the water. The water did, according to him, only help with removing blood stains. He looked back at her, still holding her hands way over her head with one of his hands, standing relatively close to her. He gave her a slight smile, “Is it better?”

Wait, what was happening? Where was the pain going?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Then he turned off the water and kept her hands over her head, forcing her body so close to him that she could feel his warm breath cascading over her skin. “I –“ she whispered; she couldn’t think about anything else than his hands around hers. How would it feel if his hand was placed on her hips if he pulled her just a little closer? How would they fit together, she could almost taste his lips pressed against hers; would it feel like the many times she had imagined it when she had been alone? How terrible had she felt afterwards because of the shame of how many times he had popped into her head when she had done it?
She pulled her lips back with her teeth, “oh” she was embarrassed by how much her small sigh sounded like a moan. Her eyes were flung open, and her cheeks slightly flustered “maybe I should go to the bathroom; make sure to put some band-aid on it. I’ll make sure to keep them elevated” she shook her other hand a little to show what she meant.

His eyes stayed at her as she almost moaned, blinking a little, not saying anything to it, because that would just be odd, right? Clearly, she got embarrassed anyway, the way her cheeks got flustered. He slowly let go of her, making sure she still had the paper in her hands as he lowered his own hands. “And you don’t want help? Isn’t going to be a little difficult with one hand?” he wondered, ready to follow her to the bathroom to aid her. It could also get quite messy alone.

“Yep, I’m sure I don’t need any help!” she tried to reassure him, feeling how the warmth was spreading in her nether regions, just begging for some release. She was just so close to saying to hell with it and just jump Ryan, but she couldn’t risk their friendship; she was trying to tell herself that repeatedly, knowing that if she did that and somehow ended up resenting her afterwards, it would break her heart.
“I just, ehm, I’m quite sure, maybe take a shower to get all of the blood off or something like that”, she said, knowing it didn’t make much sense turning so she would go back into the bathroom. “Quite sure, I’ll be just okay, just a small cut, I’m sure it’ll be gone soon enough” she nodded, giving him a bright smile, not even noticing how her legs were pressed together.

She seemed very eager about not receiving help with made him wonder for a moment, if he should insist. Just a moment later she rephrased herself. She was going to take a shower. He furrowed his brows a little, thinking a shower would be quite excessive for the cuts she had made, but if she felt better with getting a bath, he shouldn’t stop her from doing that, “Okay,” he said. She once again assured him that she was going to be okay, which he hadn’t doubted at all, he had just wished that he could help her. “Alright, go ahead. I’ll clean up while you’re out there,” he said and gestured both to the glass shards and to the bathroom. “Just call if you change your mind, okay?” he said before he slowly turned away to find the small broom and the tray.

“Yeah, yeah, thank you, and sorry for the mess” she pulled an embarrassed look and saw how he walked back to the kitchen. She turned, and instead of opening the door, she forgot that it had been closed and ended up hammering her forehead straight into the hard surface. “Auv”, she whispered, letting her somewhat good hand find her forehead. “I’m fine!” she quickly assured. “Now it’s only my pride that is hurt”, she laughed, feeling how her entire being wanted to be swallowed up by now; how much more wrong could she do in less than an hour? She finally managed to open the door, and in her haste to just get alone, she looked around, trying to get herself together, but it was like she couldn’t even think nor breathe before she got her release. Her hurt fingers quickly opened her shorts. Not caring about the blood or gash on the palm of her hand, she grabbed the counter, and then her other hand found its way between her legs. A moan and gasp left her, all mixed with shame by the fact that she even needed to do this while he was in the house. How pathetic could she get?

He laughed a little as she apologized for the mess. He turned as he heard her walk into the door and was just about to walk towards her when she said she was fine. A contained smile spread on his lips as she spoke about her pride. “Be careful!” he told her and started looking for the broom and tray, but before he could even find it, he heard how she started moaning. At first, he thought she was in pain and needed help, but as he took only a few steps closer he figured that it wasn’t in pain. It was pleasure. He folded his lips and turned away from the bathroom to continue to search for the broom and tray. Finally, he found it, and even though she seemingly continued he tried to ignore it and just clean up.
When everything seemed to be cleaned up, he got back up, and her scent hit him like a train in the face. He raised his brows while he turned to empty the tray. When the tray was emptied, he would put broom and tray away and fill their glasses, starting on his own glass. He definitely needed some wine for this.

She was sitting with her back pressed against the toilet when she was done. She felt the cold porcelain pressed against her back, and for a moment, she just sat there before silent tears started sliding down her cheeks. Overcome with shame and regret that she had even done it, it felt like it was crushing her lungs, and it was suddenly hard for her to breathe. At least it had kept her from jumping Ryan as if it had been some kind of piece of meat.
Finally, after a few breaths, she calmed herself down enough to get up from the floor and walk over to the sink, where she washed her hands, cleaned herself up and then knew she couldn’t keep hiding away in the bathroom. As she turned, it was like her entire stomach fell to the ground. The door wasn’t completely closed; there was no way he hadn’t heard it. Pressing her eyes together, she steeled herself and walked out. When she came to the kitchen, she let her fingers glide through her hair, which had already healed up from the cut. “Thanks for cleaning”, she said with a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Sorry you had to hear that”, she whispered before pulling down a glass for herself and started pouring herself one.

He could hear how her breathing changed and could almost picture the silent tears that were gliding down her cheeks. Why was she sad? He tried to focus on the wine instead and let her have just a little bit of time alone. He didn’t want to budge in if she was completely undressed or… Okay, those pictures had to get out of his head, it wasn’t a good combination with having just heard her moan and gasp like that. When she came back to the kitchen, he looked over his shoulder to see her. Her cheeks were still slightly red. For fucks sake, that only added to the imagination. She then apologized, and he handed her the glass he had filled for her. “Don’t worry about it,” he said with slightly furrowed brows, trying to figure out what would be the most correct to say in this situation. “I just hadn’t expected to hear that,” he said and folded his lips looking up at her. His brows pressed a little together, slowly raising in the inner corners. “I hope you came?” he said, slightly uncertain. As soon as the words had left his mouth, he realized that it was quite inappropriate, and for a moment he believed he couldn’t breathe, “I-I am sorry. I shouldn’t” he turned to have his back against the counter but turned his head towards her. “Do you want to… Talk about it?” he wondered, knowing he had been there for many different kinds of conversations, but maybe she wanted to keep this for herself – hopefully it wasn’t a problem that she needed help with.

She started drinking, then those words left him, I hope you came, she almost swallowed her tongue with the mouthful of wine. Coughing, she turned away, feeling the embarrassment burning in her cheeks.  
Talk about it? Well, she had never lied about it, just not; she had just been able to hide it away. What wouldn’t he think of her if he knew she had slept with Aleks and Nicole’s father, James? The embarrassment was almost unbearable because usually, she would have texted James at this point; when she couldn’t find time to go off to London, she could call him, he was discreet, and he got something out of it as well.
“It’s just”, she whispered, groaning and hiding her face in her hands before pushing her hands back and moving her blond hair behind her ears. “I’m, I have this, well, in old times you called it nymphomaniac, but today it’s called compulsive sexual behaviour and, I – I normally have it somewhat under control, but lately I haven’t had the time, or I’ve had too much time, so the normal people I call … haven’t been around” she pressed her brows together knowing it was a lot to take in. Still, well, he had asked after all. “Let’s, can we just talk about something else, maybe? It's a weird topic, I’m sorry” she waved her hands a little, took another big mouthful of wine, and then walked to see what else he had brought. Facemasks, score. “Oh, I’ve been meaning to try these!” she giggled, hoping maybe if they talked about something else, it would ease the situation they were in.

He looked at her as she seemed to open up about it. Nymphomaniac. Well he knew what that was. He nodded slowly as she explained the new name and how she had control. He nodded slowly as she explained why it was a problem now. He had many questions but she asked to talk about something else. “Yeah, I- Of course. But I’m here if you want to talk about it,” he said furrowing his brows a little, worried about what she might end up doing if she couldn’t get her ‘fix’, as he believed it might be. Had that been why she had accidentally smashed the glass? Because she had been too occupied with her body? Had she been in the middle of something when he arrived? Had that been why she had been a little out of breath? Had she meant for him to come over to have sex with him? Had he been blind to something? His face followed her as she walked over to the bag with the things he had brought. He chuckled a little as she said she had wanted to try them. “Yeah, I thought they sounded cool,” he said and moved over to stand next to her. He took one for himself and walked back to where he had been standing before. He then glanced up at her after having read just a little bit about the facemask on the backside, “You know I can smell it on you, right?”

She knew he was; she just didn’t know how to talk about it without making everything weird.
“Yeah?” she said and then turned around to read a little more about what was in them; then, he said something that almost made her drop the mask. She knew he was a werewolf; it wasn’t that. But she hadn’t really thought about it. What did she even say? “Sorry”, she whispered, licking her lips, “I’ve always tried to separate this part of me from, you know, the girl you grew up with,” she said with a small smile; it wasn’t like she had anyone to really talk with it about. “It’s complicated”, she chuckled, looking up at him, first noticing now how close he was.
“So, movie and ice?” she asked, putting her hands by her chest with the facemask hugged against her tank top.  

He chuckled shortly, shaking his head, “Don’t be,” he told her. He looked up at her as she mentioned how she tried to separate the compulsive behavior from the woman he knew. He furrowed his brows a little from it. It’s complicated. It indeed was. His brows raised a little as she expressed what she wanted to do, “Yeah, certainly,” he said and pulled a greater smile. “What about you find a movie and I’ll pick up the ice cream and spoons?” he suggested and handed her the other mask, so she could bring it to the livingroom.

“Sure thing!” she punched him in the arm as she took the facemask he was handing him and then ran towards the living room, where she jumped over the couch and placed herself perfectly on its edge. Putting the facemask on the coffee table, she noticed that she was missing her glass of wine.  She would get it in a moment, she turned on the television, and since it was one of those fancy ones, she could easily look through the library of movies that she and her parents owned. “Do you have a genre you want to watch?” she asked a little louder than she would typically speak, ending up passing ‘It’s a boy girl thing’ she shrugged and pressed play; after that, she got up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to get her wine “Do you need more wine?” she asked raising her brows as she passed him with the ice and spoons.

Ryan laughed a little as she punched his arm and watched her for a moment as she escaped the scene. He turned towards the freezer, found their ice cream and some spoons. When he had everything in his hands, he noticed their glasses. How was he going to be carrying  them too? He looked towards the living room as she called for him, “Anything really,” he laughed, not having a real preference. They could honestly watch horror or a docu- “As long as it’s not a documentary!” he added seeing how she got into the kitchen, “Uh, yeah, can you carry my glass and the wine too?” he wondered, knowing very well that alcohol and milk products wasn’t the best combination, but they weren’t really going to get drunk, so would it really matter?

“Nah, man, I’m just going into the kitchen, pouring some wine in your glass and then leaving it in there” she rolled her eyes and then laughed lovingly at him “yeah, of course, I’ll bring your glass too,” she licked her lips and turned as she could do what she had come to do, get more wine and then bring it with her to the living room.
The movie was starting, and she picked up her speed and quickly managed to place the glasses and then threw herself on the couch next to him. “Okay, so it might be a little cheesy; we can just change if you don’t like it”, she assured him with a big smile as she turned to him, happy that he always managed to give her the space she needed, which also meant she was already far more comfortable in his presence than she had been before. Leaning against him, she didn’t think much of it as she placed her head on his shoulder as she had done so many times before.

Ryan laughed a little as she spoke with clear sarcasm in her voice. “Thanks,” he laughed with her and walked into the living room and sat down, arranging the ice creams and spoons so they were ready to be eaten with love. He could see and hear how she hurried in and was quick to get onto the couch. He laughed a little as she tried to defend her choice of movie, “I’m sure it’s fine,” he said with a little wider smile. He was the kind of person who rarely watched movies, and almost every time she put on a movie, it was one he didn’t know. He sat quite comfortably a little leaned back, and as usual she leaned herself up against him. Even though it was something they had done so often, it had awoken some thought in him to know about the behavior she had. Many inappropriate questions started forming, even though it was none of his business if she didn’t want to share it willingly. He leaned his head a little towards hers, but not a lot. “How many times have you watched it?” he spoke softly.

Absentmindedly she let her thumb glide over her bottom lip when he asked how many times she had watched it, “Hmm, too many, but it’s still a great movie” she chuckled lightly, then turned her head a little so she could look at him, which might in her case have been the stupidest thing she could have done right now. A soft exhale left her before turning and looking back at the screen. “I rather you just ask your questions, I know I said we should talk about something else, but I can almost hear the gears turn inside of that skull of yours”, she mumbled softly before she lifted her hand and poked the side of his temple. “I blame Riley, not that he did it on purpose, but he wrote I should remember to shave; it made me all flustered”, she confessed, not really thinking about what she was saying.