Brightside of me [cw]

Georgia pulled in her bottom lip and used her teeth to gnaw on it a little as he spoke about him already having an idea, she wasn’t sure he really understood, but if he didn’t want to know, she wouldn’t bother him with the image of it.
“I haven’t been all right for quite a while,” she said with a small smile, agreeing that something was wrong, but it wasn’t like there was a switch where she could turn it off. She would have pressed it such a long time ago if she could.
The cup she had taken was placed beside her; she instead reached out her arms “come here”, she whispered, wanting to pull him in for a hug, pressing her cheek against his, closing her eyes and taking in his scent. “Thank you”, she whispered before placing a soft, almost innocent kiss against his cheek. The problem was that she wasn’t pulling away after the kiss. One should think that she would be fine after the treatment she had just gotten; maybe it was just the promise of being with someone she knew would never hurt her. But amid all her thoughts, she managed to pull herself away, even if it was slower end than she would usually have done.

She agreed that something wasn’t right, and he was glad that she could see that, even though it had only been a couple of minutes since she explained how she was fine and would be okay alone.
When she stretched out her arms, he didn’t hesitate to walk over to her and wrap his arms around her. “Any time,” he whispered to her and let her stay in the hug as long as she needed, even after the small kiss on the cheek. He didn’t care how long she wanted to hug him because she needed it. He knew  that she had been hurt tonight, and he was unsure how often she got hurt, but seemingly it was a little too often. When she let go of him, he slowly pulled away and looked at her. “I’m quite certain that you called your friend for help today, but you can also always call me,” he told her, even though he couldn’t just teleport with the wave of a hand. “I want to help you. Always,” he assured her, staying in front of her. He placed his hands on her cheeks, “Don’t ever doubt that,” he told her. He shortly looked towards his cup and reached for it, “Cheers,” he said softly, waiting for her to pick up her mug so they could make the mugs clink against each other so he could take a sip of it. He sighed a little as he put the mug back down, and licked his lips before he looked towards her. He framed her shortly, placing a hand on each side of her by the edge of the counter. “Popcorns?” he asked.

She nodded when he had figured out she had called Odessa. “Yeah, known her for quite a while” she was just about to tell Ryan that they both were dancing for James Miles, but she bit down on her tongue to physically keep herself from doing so.
“Cheers”, she said with a soft smile and lifted her cup so they could press them together before she took a small sip. Her eyes closed immediately when the sweet taste of hot chocolate formed over her tongue, and with a soft sigh, she sat there for a while just enjoying the feeling when he suddenly asked if she wanted popcorn. Georgia opened her eyes and looked at him, just for a second, just a small one. She wondered what he would do if she leaned in, how his lips would taste against hers. Would they be soft? Would she feel some of those dry spots against her lips? Would she get butterflies in her stomach? The last question she didn’t even need an answer to; she was getting butterflies just imagined it. But as she leaned in, she managed to keep herself from it, just at the last second. “Yeah, popcorns, please,” she said lowly, feeling how her lips tugged upwards.

He gave her a little smile and was glad that she had gotten some help from someone who knew her well. It was clear that the hot chocolate had a calming effect, the way she simply sat with her closed eyes. He wished her to be at peace, like how she was now. Her eyes rested on him, and he could almost feel how a tension formed between them, getting thicker and thicker as she leaned closer. Then she replied, or he wasn’t quite sure, because he was completely mesmerized by her. Just for a moment he was about to give in, but instead he let his hand find the back of her head and kissed her forehead. “Popcorns,” he said before he slowly moved away to find popcorns, unwrap them and place them in the microwave to make them pop. As soon as the microwave was going, he turned and walked back to her. “Do you want to sit here and enjoy all of this, the living room, or your room?” he wondered and leaned against the kitchen island, placing his hands against the kitchen counter. It created a greater distance between them. He didn’t want to wake the compulsions, even though he wanted her to feel safe.

The tension broke as he moved around and let his lips find her forehead. For a moment, she felt stupid that she had even hoped that a tiny flicker of fire had spread in her chest when his hand had found her hair. Stupidly so, especially when she was the last time to tell him that they shouldn’t cross the line. Just because she had hoped once didn’t mean that it was a good idea, and even though they might just end up having sex, it would end up with one of them catching stronger feelings, and then they would just end up getting hurt.
“We can go in the living room,” she said with a smile, noticing how he had placed himself further away than he had done before. She couldn’t really describe the feeling that overcame her, other than it felt like burning pain searing through her body. She tried not to put too much thought into it as she took the cup of hot choco and started taking small sips, hoping it would ease her mind the way it had done just a moment ago.

He pulled a smile and nodded to her as she explained that they could go to the living room. For a moment he stood by the kitchen island, but at some point, it was like a small switch was flicked on. He didn’t think about it as he suddenly let go of the counter. His thoughts about the distance were almost as thrown away. He couldn’t keep himself away from her, even though he had wished to make things safe for her. He knew that he would be treating her well, the only thing was, if he could keep up and be there when she needed it? He folded his fingers, so his knuckles were against the counter. He was way too close, as they had been just a moment ago. “You know what’s going to happen,” he said keeping his eyes on her.

Her eyes watched how he looked like he wasn’t sure what was going on, then he pushed away, and as if all air was knocked out of her, she placed the cup back on the counter and just watched her, almost feeling how the air in her lungs was pressed down, making it hard for her to breathe for a moment. Her entire body started to feel like it was catching on fire.
The tension grew again, her heart started picking up speed and sweat pooled behind her hairline. Her tongue licked her lips as he asked, or no, he told, that she knew what would happen. And almost as if they were moving in unison, one hand grabbed his jaw and the other the back of his head, then she leaned in, not stopping or holding back this time, letting her lisp meet his in a passionate, maybe even begging kiss. Almost as if she hoped that he could wash away the bad experiences, as if being with him might erase everything terrible, and as their lips started getting used to each other, she knew; she could almost feel how it was different; she couldn’t describe how or why, but she really hoped she wasn’t just deluding herself.

He could feel the tension, but it was almost as if he ignored it. He could even smell it on her how something in her grew, how her heartrate picked up. There was no doubt what was going to happen now, and even though the thought of the words had been something else, he knew, when he said them, that they had another background she grabbed onto his jaw and the back of his head, and he didn’t hesitate to lean closer, letting one hand find her hip an the other just above her knee, cautious of any leftover marks or bruises, though he made sure to take her pain, even if it was subconsciously. He could feel how she was eager, and he responded to it with confidence, knowing what he was doing, even though he was unsure of how she would feel after this. At some point, he heard the microwave, but he didn’t pull away, he let his hands guide her legs around his waist and with a smooth movement, he managed to get her into his embrace, her hanging onto him like a monkey-baby. Being able to support the position she hung in with just one hand, he moved over and managed to open the microwave and grab the popcorn. He didn’t have time to look if they seemed fine, but with one shake, he figured they were good enough. Even though it was somewhat risky, he put the bag of popcorn in between the fingers of the hand that held her up. He moved back to the counter, and with a careful hand he managed to get both mugs in one hand, even though it was quite hot against his fingers. Not at any moment did he break the kiss for more than air. With her, popcorn, and the mugs of hot chocolate and marshmallows, he moved into the living room, letting go of the popcorn, so they landed on the table. Slowly he lowered himself until she was almost sitting on his lap, so he could place the mugs on the coffee table – sadly spilling on the way down. Leaning backwards he ended up in the couch with her on top of him. He dried the hand that had carried the mugs in his pants before he wrapped them around her and pulled her closer.

She wanted to break the kiss, pull away, and tell him sorry that she hadn’t meant to. This reminded her all too much of what had happened with her and Aleks. How she knew they were both attracted to one another, but when it came down to it, she wasn’t sure she could even work in a relationship. Once again, she was in a situation where she gave in to her desire rather than listening to her head—knowing that this was a man that deserved much better than her.
But when his hand found her hip, and the other found her skin just over her knee, she knew nothing was left to fight against this. A gasp escaped her as he picked her up, not minding how it hurt and then realised that the pain slowly disappeared as Ryan took it away from her. Almost in a way, he was mending her heart with how he was acting around her.
She didn’t even realise how he managed to get all of the things that they needed and retreated with her into the living room.
She didn’t even notice how she ended up on top and with him pressed down on the couch; all she felt was how he pulled her closer, and both his arms found their way around her body. She felt so incredibly safe right now; she wasn’t sure if she had ever truly felt that before.
Then she pulled away, pressing her forehead against his; she tried to get her ragged breathing under control. “I don’t want to hurt you”, she whispered with a soft, choked sob; she really didn’t; one thing had been Aleks, but Ryan. He meant everything to her.

She pulled away, and he had to stop himself for a moment so he wouldn’t end up just picking up where they had left immediately. When her forehead pressed against his, he could almost feel how her head was spinning in all kinds of directions. He turned down the gears and simply let his arms stay around her, barely caressing her. “You won’t,” he whispered to her, and let his nose slide down hers, so their noses paired up next to each other. “We’ll figure this out,” he told her a little breathlessly. He let one of his hands find her cheek, and slowly let his hand remove some of her unruly hair from the side of her face. “I don’t want to see you get hurt like this,” he told her calmly, and slowly let one hand find one of the bruises, without even looking. He had mesmerized their positions and made sure that the pain of touching it would leave her quickly, taking it from her. “That hurts me more than you’ll ever be able to hurt me,” he told her and slowly opened his eyes, pulling a little away to hopefully look at her.

She wanted to believe him when he told her they would figure it out. If anything, she wanted to do her very best to make that promise come true, but what would change this time if she hadn’t been able to do so in the past? Was she really that naïve that she would think that Ryan was the person to change it all for her?
A soft laugh left her that almost sounded like a choked sob when he told her that she would never be able to hurt him more than it hurt him seeing her like this. She wasn’t sure, and something in her almost told her to show him just how she could hurt him. “I really hope you are right”, she whispered, “but I’ve hurt people before, and I’m not sure if I even get the right help or if I’ll even be able to change”, she whispered because it wasn’t like she didn’t want to. Still, sometimes she just ended up in these situations without knowing how it had gotten this far. She had gone to the party knowing it could end badly, but she hadn’t cared, and when she had ended up in that bedroom, she hadn’t stopped nor asked them to. “I always end up hurting those I love the most”, she whispered again, feeling how a tear glided down her cheek. “And you’re the one I love more than anyone else in this world”, she confessed.

She hoped he was right. He didn’t wish to convince her of anything because no one could ever see the future. “What do you want to change? Because everything changes all the time,” he whispered back to her, knowing very well that she probably wished for her desires to settle. He simple had this idea, that if they proceeded, it would be like a domino effect. Things would slowly get better, and they might take a step back once in a while, but that was okay.
She told him how she ended up hurting the people she loved the most, and he saw how a tear escaped her eyes, he dried the tear away with a thumb as she explained how he was the person she loved the most. “If you end up hurting the people you love the most, it’s already set in stone,” he told her, keeping his eyes softly on her, “We can get past hurt, misunderstandings and disagreements,” he promised and let his hand cup her face a little, making her head look more up, “Georgia,” he spoke softly, “Friends or more, I’ll get hurt at some point,” he explained, softly, “And I will probably hurt you too… But we don’t mean to, and that’s the most important thing. We can work things out,” he told her and kept himself from caressing her, not wanting to end up distracting her.

She listened to his words, and tears started to form for each sentence that left him. Before long, they started sliding down her cheeks; no one had ever said that to her before. Been so honest, and that might be the reason why she relented; why she trusted that he was right, that even if she hurt him, or he ended up hurting her, they would figure things out or, as he put it, work it out.
Instead of saying anything, she titled her head and pressed her lips against his. It was so innocent and soft at first, a kiss she hadn’t shared with anyone for such a long time. The passion rose once again, and it was hard for her not just to take it further until she realised that she hadn’t taken a shower yet. With a soft sigh, she pressed her forehead against his again. “I might need to shower first”, she whispered with a slight chuckle, “before we take this anywhere” she licked her lips and gave him another kiss.

One would have to be a fool if they couldn’t see how this touched her soul in a way it had never been touched before. To some extend he wondered if her witch friend had even been able to get this close to touching Georgia’s soul, or if the witch had fled every time things got a little too much. It craved talent to know when things got a little heated and how one should deescalate a situation. Ryan had had a lot of practice with that. Besides, if he could forgive someone for killing his brother, he was certain that he could forgive her for whatever was going to happen.
She didn’t say a thing, but her action showed him all the words she wished to say. He reciprocated the kiss gently, trying to keep it as slow as possible. He wished for her to have as much control over her actions as possible and didn’t wish to push or take advantage of whatever the sexual compulsions might make her do. It was something he would have to be careful with because he certainly didn’t want to cross a line, where she was unable to say no to him, but at the same time, he didn’t wish to accidentally take it too slow and hurt her in the process, when she actually was in the right mind. It was a difficult and rocky road, but he was willing to figure it out. Figure her out, each and every step, that she had hidden away from him all of these years.
Eventually, she increased the passion, and he was right behind her, following her, but not being more eager than her. Eventually she stopped, and their hot breaths mixed, cascading over their faces. Shower. He had his eyes closed for a moment with a smile on his lips. He had offered helping her earlier, without an actual reply to that. “Alright,” he just got to mumble before she gave him another kiss, which he made sure didn’t last too long, “Do you want a hand?” he wondered knowing it could have multiple end results. He simply had this feeling that it wasn’t just because she already had been active earlier, but it was something underlying from the actions that had happened tonight before he arrived. He already knew that helping her might also trigger some compulsive behaviors from her, but he would do everything to make sure it deescalated, and she felt taken care of. They just had to figure it out.

Now she knew just as well as him that getting in a shower together or him just helping her with taking one could lead to many things. But right now, she didn’t care where the road led as long as it was with him. Besides, she didn’t have an issue with what had happened earlier. Or that wasn’t true; she had felt defeated and regretted the whole thing because she knew her parents would disapprove of their daughter if they ever found out. She felt dirty because most people lived in a world where something had to be perfect; mostly, she knew that many partners wouldn’t enjoy knowing that the person they were with had been with multiple partners and had done things most people wouldn’t even dream off. So, at this point, she was mostly thinking about Ryan and what he might be and would be comfortable with.
“Yeah, that would be nice,” she told him with a small smile, giving his nose a small kiss before she rose from where she was lying, which just ended up with her sitting on his lap, looking down at him. A dark desire formed in her, and she had to closer her eyes to push it down.

She informed that she would like a hand with the bath and got up from the position they had been in. He could see how she closed his eyes, and for a moment, he studied her, wondered if there was something he could pick up. A facial feature that appeared with the desire. Flaring nostrils, a minimal scrunch of the nose, a specific pull of the lips or cheeks, a twitch in the brow, anything. Slowly he sat up, keeping his eyes on her, trying to keep his eyes for the same things as before. “Ready?” he spoke with a soft voice, keeping his hands from her until she told him that she was okay, and that she actually seemed to have herself under best possible control. Wrapped his arms around her and managed to turn them around so he had his legs onto the floor and finally could get up with her, just like they had gotten there before. Keeping his eyes on her he slowly walked out of the living room and towards the bathroom she had run to hide just the other day. He slowly but her down. He studied her for a moment before he went to turn the faucet on so the tub could be filled. “I’ll just text my family about my whereabouts,” he said and turned towards her, “We tend to get worried,” he explained, though she already knew so. The last year had simply been all about texting ones whereabouts so no one got unnecessarily scared – Ryan and Rose might have been the ones who had been the worst about being honest about their locations. Rose, because she seemingly had been way too out of it, and hiding things, and Ryan because everyone knew that when he wasn’t somewhere close to them, he was with Seraphina, someone they didn’t wish for him to spend time with.

When she felt like she could breathe again, she nodded that he had asked if she was ready. She let out a soft sigh and then let her arms fold around his neck as he picked her up and walked with her to the bathroom.

Georgia gave him a small smile as he put her down and walked over, sitting on the toilet as he turned on the faucet for the bathtub. As she sat there and looked at the water running into the white tub, she realised how much she needed it. He only managed to pull her away from her trance by looking at the water when he told her that he would text his family about his whereabouts. “Yeah, good idea”, she said with a small smile; she remembered one time when Rose had been knocking at her door asking if Ryan was there, not knowing if he had told them that he was just hanging out with her because he was actually with Seraphina she had just lied and told Rose that Ryan was out getting them ice cream. She would text her when he was back. Then being the way she was, she had managed to make it look like Ryan had been in her kitchen, and then that had been that.
When Ryan stepped outside, she got up and looked into the mirror; she finally saw how bad she looked. The bruises on her cheeks, the apparent marks of fingers around her throat. Then she pulled off her t-shirt, seeing how her breast looked like they had been abused in the worst manner. Purple circles, tear marks, suddenly she was scared to look down. But almost as if she was being forced by a morbid need to know, she looked at her thighs, seeing how streaks of blood were formed. She closed her eyes and felt the tears glide down her cheeks. Why did she have this need? Pulling off the last piece of fabric, she walked over to the tub, not even caring if it was too hot; instead, she decided to it up to the point where her skin was burning. Closing her eyes, she just sat there, trying to erase the memories of what had happened.

Ryan had gotten outside to give her a moment while he texted his family and as soon as he had seen some kind of reaction to the text he had sent, he walked back, only to see how she had already gotten into the tub. With a caring but worried expression he walked over to her and sat down next to her, outside the tub. He could see how tears had run down her cheeks the short moment he had been gone. Had she seen the damage, by chance? Only by accident, his fingers got into the water. They were quickly pulled up and he looked form his fingers to her. “Georgia, for Goodness’s sake,”  he said before he chose to let his hands get under her legs and place an arm round her back to pull her out of the bath and place her on his thigh, sitting on one knee. With a little trouble, he managed to open the cabinet under the sink and wrap a towel around her, while pulling her a little closer, making sure her feet wasn’t in the water, “Let’s turn the heat down a little, okay?” he said with a soft voice and turned some cold water on. He then looked up at her with a caring smile. “I’m sorry,” he said with a soft voice, already blaming himself for not having been there to stop her from almost hurting herself too much.

She licked her lips when she saw how he came toward her; she didn’t look at how the blood mixed with the water around her. Then he touched the water and noticed just how burning hot it was. When he pulled her out, she still didn’t say anything nor look at him, she felt empty, and it was only when he apologised that he woke her up from her retreat into her mind. Blinking, she looked at him and her brows pressed against each other. “Stop”, she whispered; her hand lifted and grabbed his chin, a little firmer than she had intended, and then she moved so he could look at her. “None of this can ever be your fault, okay?” she looked straight into his eyes. “Stop blaming yourself for things that you can’t control, and stop blaming yourself for other people’s doings; you did it with Nicole, and you did it with Seraphina; I will not have you walk around with my troubles on your shoulders either…” she looked at the water “I just, sometimes I need the heat to wash away the feelings of their hands, I’ll try to thin about the fact that it seems a little extreme – I just don’t think about it when I’ll just heal again” she whispered licking her lips. The last she wanted was for him to blame himself; he couldn’t always be there to control the outcome of what she did.

She told him to stop when he had apologized, making him look fully at her. She tried to explain how this couldn’t be his fault, but as of right now, he couldn’t really see it. He was already seeing himself as someone who should know the patterns, but the thing was, all of this was too new for him to know anything about what would happen. She explained how he had walked around and blamed himself for Nicole and Seraphina’s doings. It touched some piece of him that made him realize something he hadn’t realized before.
She explained whys he had done the things she had done, and how she didn’t think about it because she healed again. “Alright,” he said, and nodded once, to tell her that he understood the assignment. “We can make it happen, but you’re way too exhausted for your healing to keep up if you’re taking the shortcut and doing it to your whole body at once,” he told her, and raised his brows a little to make her follow. He leaned a little over to shut off the cold water. He let his hands touch it, and felt how it was still burning hot, but something he could manage himself. He looked back up at her, “Sit on the edge for a moment, okay? I’ll find something you can sit on,” he told her, keeping his eyes at her for a moment, making sure she sat securely on the edge of the tub before he stood up and could find two sponges and stool that could handle water. He placed the stool in the tub, and when it seemed secure, he carried her shortly, so she sat on the stool in the tub, but without her feet being in the tub. He dipped both sponges and gave her one of them, laying it gently on her thighs before he sat down in front of her. “It’s still burning,” he said, and shortly looked at her shin, before he looked up at her and placed the soaked sponge on her shin, and pressed it onto her skin, slowly letting it glide down, hopefully making the water burn a little, and the sponges texture help a little extra. He hummed, wondering if this was feeling alright, if it helped her at all.

She nodded when he told her the truth; she knew herself; she was too tired for her ability actually to work as it usually did. So, she waited for him to walk around doing what he needed to ensure she wouldn’t end up hurting her more than was needed. At first, she was confused and didn’t know what he was actually up to until he placed the stool in the bathtub and washed her legs. She had to swallow the lump that formed in her throat, mainly because this act of kindness so touched her. Closing her eyes, she felt how he washed away the night, the other hands and smells and made her clean again. She did her very best not to take it the wrong way, but she couldn’t help with feel pleasure from the sponge's texture as he let it glide over her legs. Hopefully, she could manage to keep it somewhat under control.

She had her eyes closed and didn’t partake in the cleaning. He took care of her other leg. He started with a single stripe, keeping his senses cautious of how she felt. Every time the water seemed to be too little, he dipped it in the hot water and continued to wash her. Every time he believed that it was getting a little too exciting, he tried to wash her somewhere that hopefully seemed less exciting. He tried to make her think of something else that the warm feelings that it could create in her. He continued halfway up her thigh, looking at her and picking up how she felt. “How about you tell me everything you can see in here, in the color of the rainbow?” he asked her. Hopefully it would get easier for her if she focused on her surroundings rather than her body. He would guide her through colors. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. He of course kept an eye on her even though he guided her through this, and to him, it didn’t matter if they got through it at all, he was just trying to see if there was something that could help her. If things seemingly went okay, the sponge would slowly make its way, closer to her hips.

Behind her closed eyes, she couldn’t help but start imagining things, especially not as his hands began to travel, and even though she wanted to help, she was so occupied in just trying to keep these thoughts at bay that she ended up folding her hands around the stool instead. Her toes curled, and her legs moved slightly to shield her private area.
Then he asked her to find the colours of the rainbow in the bathroom. She opened her eyes again and made sure not to look at him as she looked around. “Green, the towels are green”, she whispered, blinking a little, she started listing the different items, and she was actually surprised to see just how many colours there were, despite the fact that the floors and walls were in a broken white shade.
Then he came to her hips, and her teeth caught her bottom lip. “I’m not sure I can keep to myself if you keep going”, she whispered, feeling the goosebumps form over her arms even though the water was so hot that she couldn’t possibly be cold. She just really, really wanted him.

Her hands gripped onto the stool and through the soap he could feel how her thighs almost tightened, and his eyes shortly glanced towards her feet as he noticed how they curled in the periphery.
The dark brown eyes nodded softly as she mentioned how she couldn’t keep to herself. “You’ve done well,” he said and removed the sponge fully from her. He dipped the sponge in the water, feeling the burning water as he squeezed it just a little. “Do you think we can reach both your elbows?” he spoke softly, not starting on her hands before she gave him some kind of confirmation. He truly hoped that they could get as much as possible, but he would certainly make sure not to push her limit too much. He just hoped that they one day might be able to push the limit to a more suitable level, but that might just be wishful thinking.

She licked her lips, thinking if she could manage her arms as well. “Yeah,” she said, even though she was aware that she might not sound very convincing, especially when she couldn’t even say one word without stumbling over the letters.
Blinking a little, she looked around the room again, trying to see if she could find other colours that might distract her, but she didn’t feel like she could find anything else. She didn’t even dare start cleaning herself right now, not knowing if she would be able to keep it strictly. She thought she rather not.
“Tell me what is on your mind,” she asked, hoping he might be able to distract her as he moved further up her arms. She could handle it, she was sure she would be able to, and besides, it wasn’t like Ryan would just accept it if she threw herself at him. Even if there was a part of her that might want him to, almost hoping he could wash the last away but not with water. She closed her eyes again as she started imagining things again. She was so close to just letting herself plunge into the water but kept herself on the stool he had placed her on.