Brightside of me [cw]

Even though his eyes weren’t completely at her, he noticed how she touched her lip. Okay, his mind was getting out of hand. This was bad. He laughed a little as she replied how often she had watched the movie. “Well then we have to watch it to the end,” he laughed. He turned his head a little as it seemed like she wanted to look at him. She regretted to look at him, which made him look back at the screen too. He almost held his breath as she asked him to ask his questions. A embarrassed laugh left him, not really knowing where to start, and feeling a little odd that she knew that he had thousands of questions. He turned his head a little towards her after she had poked him, about to ask something when she suddenly explained something. “Shave? Why should you have to sha- Ooooh,” he blinked a little before he turned a little towards her, “Did you shave?” he asked with his brows furrowed before he leaned away from her, “No, no don’t answer that,” he said and tried to help her to sit comfortably once again now that he had moved so quickly. “I feel like every question is inappropriate,” he laughed a little, “Like how often do you-?” he didn’t even know what he wanted to know. Was it just the urges? Masturbation? Have sex with someone? Think of him?

She couldn’t keep a laugh at bay as he finally caught onto why Riley had started all of this, like throwing a small snowball down a mountain until it became an avalanche. That was how it felt right now as if they were just falling down the snow, going further down into something that would be very hard to get out of again.
“Of”, she huffed as he suddenly moved away from her, telling her not to answer his question. “I eh, keep a routine, so didn’t need to”, she replied, closing her eyes; why had she just said that. She chuckled, licking her lips “it’s fine; you can just, I don’t know, do guys talk about stuff like that?” she asked, looking at him. He asked about how often “how often what, do I have the urges, masturbate or how often do I have sex with someone?” she asked, lifting a brow, then he asked something she hadn’t been expecting. “I–“ she swallowed, blinking and forgot about the melting ice cream and the movie playing in the background. “I don’t know; it happens, sometimes… but that doesn’t; I would never ruin our friendship, you know, and –“ she felt like every word that came out of her mouth now would just make matters worse. “Then I always remind myself that you deserve better”, she whispered, looking away.

Ryan raised his brows as she replied anyway. She didn’t need to. Oh lord. It once again added to the imagination. He gave himself a mental slap. “We talk about many things, but it doesn’t matter that much,” he laughed, of course that might be his own opinion. After all, he had been a relationship with Nicole . Of course, it was easier when you had more friends to talk with it about. Ryan had more female friends… Odd… Maybe it was because he got mad at every man he was around?
She listed a couple of things that the had just been thinking about, but before he got a hold of his words, they spilled from his mouth: “Think of me?” He could see how it surprised her. It happens. That was honestly all that he had to know. She spoke about their friendship, and he furrowed his brows a little. He leaned a little closer, “Hey, look at me,” he told her. Maybe he looked a little harsh, but his eyes softened as she looked at him. “Why do you tell yourself that you’re not good enough?” he wondered, raising a wondering brow. “I think of yo-” he closed his eyes for a short moment. He had to choose his words wisely, because as she had said she didn’t want to ruin their friendship. “I’m just wondering,” he licked his lips thoughtfully, “What if it doesn’t ruin our friendship?” he wondered. One could almost think that he asked if they should get into a relationship, whether if it was friends with benefits or boyfriend and girlfriend. His question was loaded.

Her throat bobbled, and she could feel how her lungs started to tighten; how could she ever be good enough when she couldn’t even control her impulses? When she was so far out, she had to run into the bathroom and masturbate just because she hadn’t gotten enough sexual attention lately? But either way, she looked up, giving him a soft smile, her eyes widening a little when he was just about to tell her that he thought about her; what, when he relieved himself? Her teeth started picking on her bottom lip, waiting for him to continue with whatever he had started; they were so close now; she could feel his warm breath from his nose against her skin. “Because sex makes everything complicated because this isn’t something that just goes away, I can’t control it, I put myself in danger, I make irrational decisions when the intrusive thoughts become too much, because sometimes I do stupid shit that ends up ruining friendships, and you, you are one of the best things in my life, and if I fuck it up, just because I –“ she pressed her lips together in a thin line “I’m not as sweet as many might think” she whispered softly letting her hand find his cheek and softly stroke it. “And with everything that happened with Nicole and Seraphina”, her other hand found the other cheek “, you are such an amazing person when your anger doesn’t get the better of you” she chuckled, leaning in and placed a soft kiss against the curve of his brow, then she leaned back. “unless you just want to run in for a quick run around and then we’ll watch the movie” she laughed, clearly joking, even though every fibre of her body was begging for it to happen, she wouldn’t let it.

She explained why it complicated things, and he could see the list of things. It was indeed a handful of things to keep track on. He nodded ever so slightly as she summed up that she wasn’t as sweet as many might think. Well of course, he hadn’t really thought of her as the type to crave sexual attention, but as he had said to himself so many times, one should never judge a book by it’s cover. Then she mentioned Nicole and Seraphina, which hit somewhere he hadn’t believed he would get close to right now, but somehow he wondered, what did she mean, with everything that happened? Then, she picked at his anger issues, which made him blink a little. He didn’t really think of himself as an angry person, unless Aleks was involved. Then she kissed his brow and most of the thoughts were pushed away from him, leaving an empty space in his head. The brows almost reached the hairline as she mentioned going for a quick run. It made the empty space fill up with the imaginations he had gained, simply from this night only. “I uh- Do you need it?” he wondered furrowing his brows, knowing very well that it might be a stupid question to someone who craved it. He looked towards his pockets, “I haven’t really brought any protect-” he noticed how he had gotten slightly excited and looked back up at her, “Were you kidding?”

She pulled back her bottom lip with her teeth, her eyes gently observing him as he clearly hadn’t caught onto her sarcastic tone as he usually did, which to her meant that she had managed to turn him on. Which was both good and bad, good in the sense that a woman could always feel validated that guys wanted them, bad because it only made it harder for her to hold back the rains on her constant fixation on getting some sort of release. Even if she had just tried to do so in the bathroom, which just had ended up with her feeling worse than before.
“I sort of was”, she whispered as she let go of her lips skin, then let out a soft breath letting her hands fall from his face. “You supposed to, you know, say it’s a bad idea, that we shouldn’t do it – I always saw you more like a sister than a girlfriend material”, she added, if they had just had this talk back before he had gotten together with Nicole. “Because you know, I always had a major crush on you back when we were younger; I used to be so jealous of Nicole”, she chuckled; since the truth was coming out, why stop at her disorder. She turned, trying to distance herself, feeling how the heat once again pulled between her legs, knowing he could smell it. Shit what a night. She leaned over to take her glass of wine and took a sip.

Ryan folded his lips as she replied. Her hands removed themselves from his face. She mentioned the things he had been supposed to say, but all he could think of, was how he didn’t agree with those things. His brows raised and slowly he let go of his lips as she explained that she had had a crush on him. He chuckled shortly with her. Suddenly she turned and he had to blink a little before he leaned back and reached for his glass to take a very thoughtful sip. “I wouldn’t be able to tell you that it’s either a bad idea nor that I see you like a sister,” he said and furrowed his brows shortly just by the thought. No, he had fantasized about her when he had been lonely, and occasionally when he had been in fights with a former girlfriend. “I have definitely seen you more as girlfriend material than like a sister,” he confessed and took another sip of his wine. He glanced towards her as he picked up how she was aroused.  With a deeper breath he put his glass down and turned towards her, with one leg against the backrest. “I’m not helping at all, am I?” he wondered. He leaned just a little closer, just to lit his fingers run past her hair, guiding some of it onto the other side of the shoulder so he could see her face better.

She just sat there; it almost felt like her hand was burning against the skin on her thigh. Her eyes were looking at the television, but she wasn’t following along with what was happening. Then he stated the obvious, shaking her head a little she almost forgot how to breathe when his fingers caught onto some strains of hair, it was such a small and innocent gesture, pushing her hair away so he could see the side of her face. But it lit a fire in her, making her heart pick up speed and her hands turned slightly clammy. “No, not really”, she whispered breathlessly, closing her eyes; she leaned back on the couch crossing her legs as if to push down the urge to have a release yet again. “Just give me a moment; I’m sure it will pass”, she chuckled, finally opening her eyes and looking at him; her smile faltered a little as her eyes caught his, and it felt like she was being sucked in. Shit

He didn’t help. He folded his lips into a thin line and watched how she crossed her legs. He leaned a little back while she spoke about how she was certain that it would pass. For this, he figured that he should rather shut his mouth than interfere with her concentrating on something that could make it go away. She then looked at him, which made him smile, just to nonverbally tell her, that she should take her time. He noticed how her smile faltered which made his brows furrow, just a little, worried that things weren’t getting better. His thoughts started spinning around to what she had said just a moment ago, about how she had had a crush on him and used to be jealous of Nicole. He tensed his jaw for a moment and thought about whether or not he could have noticed it at some point. It felt like an eternity before he opened his mouth, “It’s not getting better, is it?” he spoke softly.

“Ssh!” she laughed, pressing her hand against his face in a playful attempt to push him away. “It doesn’t help you look at me like that”, she argued with a soft voice. With a quick move, she shuffled her legs to one of the sides and pressed her hands hard against her thigh before turning her attention back to the movie; it was hard to focus. She wouldn’t deny, at least not to herself, that she constantly was thinking about things that just made it worse. Then her imagination took her to the last time she had been with someone, maybe after Ryan had gone home, she could call James, not that she thought he was out and about. Still, if anything, that would be the better option; even though Ryan wasn’t convinced it would ruin anything, she already knew he would treat her differently after she had confessed why she was behaving like she was. And she had meant it when she had said that sex always complicated things.

Ryan was pushed which made him tumble backward on the sofa, making his back hit the cushions he sat on. He laughed and tried to get back up again, looking at her, even though she said it didn’t help when he looked at her like that. “Like what?” he wondered laughing, hoping she would mimic how he was looking. It could be a good way of getting the thoughts onto something else. Hopefully. If she mimicked him, he would try to mimic her, but certainly over do it.
If things wouldn’t get better, it might just be better that he went home, and when she felt better, they could text each other. He didn’t really want her to feel bad about herself or in general, feel completely out of focus and torn about what could and couldn’t happen.

She tried to reenact how he had looked at her, knowing she wouldn’t be very successful. Mainly because the thoughts about how she could show him involved getting close and giving him her best soft yet alluring smile.
But as before it didn’t get better, and the anxiety about all of it started to press heavily on her chest. “Maybe it would be better if you went home” she whispered, both sad that it had to end, just because she couldn’t keep herself together but also relieved that she at least had found the will to ask him to go. With everything that had happened with Aleks, she just couldn’t do that to anyone else. Which was hard when she most of all just wanted him to stay, so they could watch the movie, eat the now melting ice cream and drink the rest of the wine.
She found it somewhat funny that Aleks had ended up with Nicole, but it also made it easier for her to stay away which she should have done all those years ago. But she just couldn’t think straight, she just, she really just wanted that she didn’t have this need. That she didn’t feel like she wasn’t deserving of being loved. So, instead of accepting it, she got scared and ended up ruining the relationship before it went any further.

He gave her a greater nod and took a sharper breath in, “Yeah, I thought that might be the next plan,” he laughed softly before he looked down between them licking his lips, nodding a little. His eyes then found her again, “Is there anything that shouldn’t get back into the fridge or freezer?” he wondered, pointing towards the things he had brought. He usually let her have the rest or save it for another day where they met up. If there was anything she didn’t want in the living room he would get up from the couch and pick up the things to move to the assigned cooling elements and put them inside, before turning toward her. “Call me if you need anything, alright?” he said with slightly furrowed and worried brows and let his hand find her cheek shortly caressing it.

She nodded and then looked toward the wine and the ice cream they hadn’t even started on. For a moment she wanted to argue that he could just take it with him, or that he didn’t have to put it away she could just do it after he had left. But not wanting to sound like she wanted to get rid of him, she gave him a small smile and then shook her head. “I’ll just save them for next time,” she said, feeling how her fingers started to almost painfully pulsate as she had to be on her own sooner than she had realised.
Getting up she walked with him with the things he couldn’t carry on his own and then turned as it was all packed away.
His hand found her cheek, and it was such a small and innocent gesture, and even then, it brought her so much pleasure that she had to let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, I will,” she said, forcing a smile that quickly disappeared “I’ll call, promise” she lifted her hand and put out her pinkie as they had done when they had been small kids.

She agreed to call him, “Good,” he said, and with no thought, he winked at her. He took his hand away, only to interlock his pinkie with hers, doing a short shake before he headed towards the door. Before he opened the door, he looked over his shoulder, “See you soon,” he told her before he walked out and closed the door behind him. He stood there for a moment, with furrowed brows, thinking through everything he had learned this night, even though it had been such a short time. He looked over his shoulder, towards one of the windows, not seeing her. Looking quite sad, he looked forward and walked away, walking between the gardens. He knew very well that he shouldn’t but he certainly felt like letting off some steam, and even before he reached the end of her house’s hedge he transformed and went for a run.

When the door closed it was like everything just crashed down on her. She slowly slid down the counter and sat on the floor, feeling tears that silently glided down her cheeks and for a moment she had no idea what to do with herself. Her very well-kept secret was suddenly out in the open, and she had to take the consequences of her best friend, her childhood friend knowing that she was a hypersexual person.
After a while she pressed up from the floor, and with shaking hands she started contacting the different people that she knew were ready to fill her need.


The keys in her hands were rattling as she tried to put them into the keyhole. But because her hands were shaking so much, she ended up dropping them instead of actually getting her door open. Her hair was a mess. Cuts and bruises hadn’t faded yet even though she had the ability she had, but she was just so tired that her body couldn’t regenerate as it usually did. Rope burns were showing around her neck, upper arms and thighs, she hadn’t known what she had stepped into, but she knew that no amount of water and soap could make her feel clean again.
If she could just get this damned door open.

Odessa had been called from a sad and very used Georgia and had transported herself to her as quickly as possible to bring her to her home. Everything had gone so fast and now she stood and had only just turned her back to her friend as she heard the keys clash with the ground. She closed her eyes. She knew she should be helping her friend so much more, but there were so many things that pulled her in the wrong direction. She opened her eyes to turn around and help with the keys when her eyes locked on a male werewolf. Even though she had nothing against werewolves, her throat felt sore and tight. She could see that he wasn’t even looking at her but looking at her friend. As he approached, Odessa got in front of him, stopping him immediately. “Leave her be,” she spoke calmly and gained eye contact.
“She can’t even unlock her door-” he was about to pass her when Odessa got in front one more time trying to read him.
“You’re a sweet boy,” she mumbled almost in a tone that would Ryan second guess his hearing. She placed her hand on his chest, “I’ll fucking cut you open and use your guts for rituals if you hurt her,” she warned, but still with the sweet voice.
Ryan now looked at her. Full undivided attention. “I would never,” he told the witch who squinted her eyes at him. She grabbed his belt and pulled him closer. “I rarely trust men,” she said and left, looking over her shoulder repeatedly.

Ryan picked up the keys and let an arm surround Georgia while he opened the door. “We will get you to bed, right?” he told her, looking at her.

There were those types of friendships where you could call, and they wouldn’t ask any questions; they would be there to the best of their capability. She knew it was hard to see her like that, and on top of that, Georgia rarely wanted any help, which had ended up in situations where she knew that she had hurt Odessa, and despite that, she was always there.
She looked over her shoulder as she heard Odessa talking to someone, then feeling how her throat clamped together as she heard Ryan’s voice behind her. She wanted to tell her friends that it was okay, that she could get herself indoors. Luckily her parents weren’t home yet, so she didn’t even need to explain to them what had happened.
Then his arm found its way around her, the keys were picked up, and all she could manage was try to pull her loose shirt around her so he wouldn’t be able to see the bruises that were left on her body. “Thank you”, she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

She thanked him, which he didn’t respond to, but made sure to get them indoor, supporting her all the way inside. He locked the door after them. “Ready? One, two,” he picked her up, so she laid in his arms, almost like a bride. He went directly towards the stairs. “Do you want some water, need to pee or want a bath?” he wondered while he walked upstairs, while he made sure she wouldn’t accidentally hit against something. Even though his eyes surely told him what had happened, he could also smell it. He could smell how it hadn’t just been one and how she had cried. She couldn’t control herself in those situations. It was the compulsions that took over and made her go through so many unbelievable things. He understood very much why it complicated things, and how it made her life difficult. It saddened him to see her like this, and he understood very much why the friend hadn’t been able to be there for her, because it was a heavy thing. He was simply glad that he had arrived in the completely right moment. Even though he knew she had kept everything a secret, he couldn’t help but think about how she would have ben walking around and hiding everything if he didn’t know.

“Yeah”, she whispered and then gasped as he picked her, feeling the pain spread in her like wildfire. A soft sigh left her as he started walking, and as he did, she managed to keep her eyes closed until he asked if she wanted something. “No, it’s fine, I’ll just have to sleep, and tomorrow I’ll look as good as new”, she whispered, which was the truth; tomorrow, no one would ever know what she had been through. This, sadly, wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and she was sure that it wouldn’t be the last.
When they entered her room, she pushed herself gently out of his arms and swung her legs so she could get back on her feet. “I’m sure that I’ll be fine from here,” she said, just about to turn in his direction but didn’t dare to actually let him see the extent of what had been done to her. Right now, she was rather grateful that none of the lights was turned on until she remembered that he was able to see in the dark. The already purple bruises over her arms, neck and thighs. The scrapes and cut marks.
“I’m okay”, she added “you must be tired; you should go; I’ll be fine”, she said with a small smile on her lips as she finally turned to look at him.

She just wanted to sleep. He understood that very much, but he didn’t agree that she would be as good as new. He simply didn’t buy it. Though she might look as well, she certainly wouldn’t be as good as new. It couldn’t have been a pleasant experience, he simply didn’t believe it.
She got out of his arms, but he made sure to support her all the way. He wouldn’t have her fall if she was too exhausted. She claimed that she would be fine, that she was okay, only to let her eyes look up at him. “You’re not okay,” he told her. “I’ll take care of you for tonight,” he told her. He wasn’t tired. Even though it was late, he could last a couple of hours, he was convinced. He removed the duvet from the bed, only to gesture her to sit down. If she didn’t sit down, he would gently place his hands on her shoulders and guide her all the way to sit down. “I’ll find you something comfortable to sleep in, okay?” he said and let a soft hand stroke over her hair. After some kind of affirmation, he turned towards her closet to find a loose blouse, some comfortable panties. If he remembered correct, that had been what se usually slept in. He turned back towards her and wouldn’t mind helping with undressing her if she hadn’t done it herself.

It was almost enough to let the mask fall when he told her that she wasn’t okay. Something was telling yourself repeatedly that you were okay, but knowing that you weren’t, then to have one of the closest people in your life telling you that you weren’t was a harsh realisation to cope with. Even more so when he promised he would take care of her tonight. Nodding a little, she walked toward the bed and sat down as his hands found her shoulders. She let her eyes follow his movements for a short while as he walked to her dresser and started looking through her clothes. Then she tried to get her clothes off, the jacket was fine, but then she came to her shorts and with a slight grunt she threw herself back in the bed and with much hassle she finally managed to get them off and pressed them down half using her leg. When those were on the floor, she could get the top off, and when he came back to her, she didn’t even care that she was sitting in nothing else but her birthday suit. “Thank you”, she whispered, and with a small sigh, she managed to put on her panties and then pulled the t-shirt over her head. If she was being honest, she didn’t really want to go to bed. “I know this might sound weird, but I would really like some popcorn and a good hot choco with marshmallows”, she said with a smirk “want to help me down again?” she whispered, looking up at him; why did he have to be so lovely.

He could see on her that it was tough to hear from someone who loved you that she wasn’t okay. He could hear that she managed to get herself undressed, and when he turned around, she was indeed completely undressed. He handed her the clothing, and wouldn’t hesitate to help, if there was something that looked conflicting or difficult. When she was fully dressed, he looked up at her. He pulled a wider smile as she mentioned popcorn and a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows. “Of course,” he said and helped her up on her legs. He asked her how she wanted to be carried, and when he was told that she wanted to walk herself, he got stubborn and simply picked her up the way she stood. “You’re too tired,” he told her and started walking with her out of her room and down into the kitchen. When they reached the kitchen he moved over to the nearest counter and told her to sit down while he carried her, so she would end up sitting on the counter. “I’ll make us a cup, okay?” he told her, looking at her for a moment, to be certain that she was alright for now, before he continued and started preparing everything that needed to be prepared for hot chocolate and popcorn.

A scream that turned into a fit of laughter left her as he decided to pick her up after trying to walk on her own. Her arms found their way around his neck to at least make it easier on him.
Then she was placed on one of the many counters in the kitchen, and her hands found their way around the edge of the tabletop. Nodding, she looked at him while he walked around the kitchen he knew so well, making them both a hot cup of choco.
She sat there for a while, not saying anything. “I know that we are friends, and there is this… bond where we would do everything for each other… But you haven’t asked what happened or scolded me, or you know –“ she threw her hand out, not knowing how to explain or find the right words. “Why?” she just decided to ask, almost wishing he would just be disgusted with her. Or, like Aleks, be hurt enough to step away and tell her that he couldn’t keep doing it, that he had to end it. Hell, it had hurt so much because she had fallen in love with him. But like everything else, she had fucked it up, and in some way, she almost hoped that she had ruined things with Ryan too. Almost as if she couldn’t handle the thought of him knowing and still accepting her for who she was, even if that was what she wished for the most.

He looked over his shoulder as she spoke. With a greater breath he looked back at the mugs and put in some marshmallows before he took the handles of the mugs and walked back to her, handing her a mug. “I don’t need you to tell me what happened, to have an idea about what had happened” he said and put his own mug on the counter, letting his hand rest against the counter. “And I am certain that things can get out of control,” he told her and pulled a short-lived smile. He let it sink for a moment. “I just care about you being alright,” he told her with soft and caring eyes. “And I know that you are not alright right now,” he said being able to feel how it affected him that she wasn’t well. It was heavy on him. “If I didn’t know about the compulsive behavior, I might have asked you what had happened,” he told her, not that he was blaming her at all, “If you feel like talking about it, I would gladly listen,” he explained.