We're too young and immature to give up | Pana

It was beginning to be awkward to be around Pana. After what happened that night, it just went on. Pana would kiss him, and he would run off, coming back smelling like sex. Every time it broke his heart, making him shrink more and more into himself. He didn't talk as much, he didn't share as much or smile at Pana. He slept more, just so he didn't have to talk to Pana.
The tension was clear when you came into the room.
Luckily a guy in their dorm was having a party, inviting all the boys to come and drink and just have fun.
Wayo had said yes, even though he wasn't much one for partying, but he needed to get out, he didn't want to be alone with Pana.

He took on a pair of white pants, a cream-coloured dress shirt, with flowers on it, leaving it a bit open, with a walnut brown jacket over it. He looked at himself in the mirror, fixing his hair as he looked over at Pana, using the mirror so he wouldn't have to turn. Even though it was so awkward, he couldn't help but still thinking that he was so handsome. It wasn't like his feelings would just disappear, every time that Pana would press his lips on his, they fluttered to life again, it was annoying, but he couldn't do anything about it.

He sighed heavily as he was done, not knowing what to do. If maybe he should just go by himself or if he should wait for Pana. He bit his lip as he turned around, facing Pana. Do you... wanna follow me to the party? he asked nervously.

Outfit

It had been a whole month since then everything had changed between them every time Pana got mad or frustrated he would kiss Wayo and run off, coming back later smelling like sex and god knows what. Deep down he knew what he was doing was bad and that it was unfair and cruel towards Wayo, their whole dynamic had changed, Wayo didn't share as much or smile at Pana. He slept more, just so he didn't have to talk to Pana. And it made Pana wanna cry and hide, why couldn't he just talk to Wayo! say sorry...tell him that he might have feelings for him...and that's why he was acting like this...because he was so terrified of having feelings for a guy. He felt so ashamed and disgusted with himself whenever he kissed Wayo or touched him...but what he felt when he left him...made him want to rip his own heart out...he hated how much he was hurting Wayo...

Pana lay in bed pretending not to look at Wayo, feeling his heart break a bit when the other boy wouldn't even look at him, this was all his fault, and every time he would kiss Wayo all he did was give him false hope...or even worse he gave himself false hope. He sucked in a lungful of air taking in Wayo's appearance, the white pants, the cream-coloured dress shirt, with flowers on it, and the small exposure of his chest...fucking hell...he looked at Wayo a bit shocked, he was going the party...dressed like that! But he couldn't! if he did then Pana would have to spend all night fighting off guys that wanted to touch and kiss his Wayo! and that was not okay! and....why did he have to bite his lips like that! Pana groaned looking at Wayo oh i am defiantly going...someone has to look after you he said smiling and got dressed.

Someone to look after him? He needed that, Pana thought he needed that? Maybe he was right. Even though it shouldn't, he thought as Pana got dressed. He could see how entranced Pana was with Wayo, and maybe still.
As soon as he was done, Wayo took over at simply followed Wayo out the door to the party, that was just at the end of the hall.
He kept quiet the whole way, not knowing what to say, not really trusting himself not to say anything stupid, so he just kept his mouth shut.

As the got to the party, they were quickly let in and had already a drink at hand, received from a guy at the entrance. The music was so loud, the bass was making him feel like his heart was jumping to the beat, afraid it would stop as soon as the song would. He had kinda left Pana a bit behind, while Wayo was out sipping his drink, looking at the different people.
Wayo wasn't a drinker, so when he had emptied the glass, he felt a bit dizzy, not really knowing what had been in it, but it must have been strong.
He stumbled a bit around until he felt some cold hands grab his arms, turning him around.
Wayo gasped softly at the gorgeous man before him. He wasn't as handsome as Pana, but wow he was still handsome.
Do you wanna dance? the words came out clear, but for Wayo it was a bit of a risk, he just said yes though, not knowing fully what he said yes to.
But as the guy started to dance with him, following the music's beat, he knew what he had asked.
The guy had his hands on Wayo's hips, the grip was strong as he felt Wayo move them to the rhythm.
To Wayo's surprise, he heard the guys moan, he was clearly enjoying it, maybe a bit too much, Wayo couldn't really tell for himself.

Pana got dressed as fast as he could, as soon as he was done, Wayo took over, and Pana simply followed Wayo out the door to the party, that was just at the end of the hall. He didn’t say much, what could he possibly say sorry that I kissed…sorry that I still do it…sorry I always leave you…sorry that I might harbor feelings for you that are far from friendship…and sorry that I won’t ever tell you because I can’t…I can’t ever want you…or love you…but fuck I think I do he wanted to grab Wayo and make him stop walking kiss him and tell him all the things he wanted to but…yeah…it would never end well.

As the got to the party, they were quickly let in and got a drink. The music was so loud, making Pana feel like his body was humming and beating with energy, he was a bit pissed at Wayo for just leaving him to fend for himself. But it was his own fault, he had ruined them…there whole friendship…all because Pana couldn’t control all these urges and thoughts…it was so wrong…he had one good thing and that was Wayo, and he was losing him. He took a sip of his vodka looking around trying to find Wayo, he sighed when he couldn’t see him.

You do know this is your own doing…you are the one who keeps on kissing him and then running off Pana looked over at Kit sighing you know why…I can’t… he didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence before Kit interrupted him are you really going to let your dad make you miserable for the rest of your life? Because if so then stay away from him…Emilio is getting ready to punch you for hurting Wayo…so let him go and let him be happy or go over to him and sort this shit out Pana looked at his friend in anger, he was just about to shout at Kit for speaking to him like this, but he never got the chance when he saw some guy grab Wayo.

He saw the other boy get spun around and pulled into some guys arms and start dancing. The guy had his hands on Wayo's hips, grinding against him and gripping Wayo’s ass, Wayo had never really seen what Pana was like when he was angry of pissed, but in that moment Pana saw red. He stormed over punching the guy in the face get your filthy hands off him! he shouted.

Wayo didn't really know how he felt about the guy's hands all over him, but really he just imagined them to be of Pana. His hands holding his hips, caressing them. It was only a dream really, but it was nice as long as it lasted.
He had no idea where Pana was, he kinda also left him, but he just couldn't be with him for too long, before he started going crazy and feeling sad, even though he knew he shouldn't since he knew from the start that Pana wasn't into guys.

Suddenly the guy in front of him was laying on the floor, groaning in pain as Pana punched him in the face. Pana shouting gave Wayo a fright, but at the same time, it made him happy. Happy because he knew that Pana was keeping an eye on him and that he protected him still.
He looked up at Pana, clearly a bit under the influence of the alcohol. Pana... what's going on with you? he said hesitantly. He had never seen Pana like this, he had never thought that Pana would ever hit someone or he would see him this angry. It scared him a little bit. He looked over at the guy that was knocked out cold, a mix of the alcohol and the punch to the face. Pana was strong, he knew that, but he didn't know that he used his strength like this as Pana's grandpa had said to Wayo.
He gulped as he looked up at Pana, not really sure what to expect. Would he be yelled at too? Or would Pana just leave, like he was so good at?

Pana looked down at the guy on the floor breathing hard his hands shaking, he was just laying on the floor, groaning in pain as Pana kicking him not caring that the music was gone and everybody was looking at him lose himself in the shouting ag kicking what kind of piece of shit takes advantage of someone drunk and sweet! who the fuck do you think you are! he shouted loudly pulling the guy punching him so hard that the crack of his jaw resonated through the dorm room, he let him go panting hard his knuckles bloody and sore. He looked over at Wayo shaking in anger shut up! he growled before gabbing Wayo and pulling him outside to the balcony so he could cool down and clear his head, he saw the way people were looking at him and honestly as long as Wayo didn't look at him like that he didn't really care what they thought about him. He kicked the door open before slamming it behind him.

What the hell did you think you were doing...he could of...he would of...YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL! he didn't know why this was making him so angry or why Wayo being with someone else but Pana made him want to rip someones face off, he knew that he was being stupid because he could only keep doing this for so long...he could only lie for so long..but right now he could feel his anger take over and every other stupid wrong feeling boil over ready to explode. HOW COULD YOU BE SO RECKLESS! FUCK! he looked behind him when he heard the door open and saw Kit walk out everything okay out here? he asked looking at the two boys giving Wayo a worried look knowing full well what Pana was like when he was pissed.

Pana was going crazy and Wayo was beginning to get scared. What was he doing?! He was just kicking the guy who was still on the ground, not doing anything at all? That wasn't fair! Wayo hurried over til Pana, grabbing his arm and trying to get him to stop. Pana, stop! he tried to yell, he wasn't very good at yelling, he never raised his voice that much, but this time he had too, he couldn't let Pana beat up a guy.
He was taken aback when Pana suddenly growled at him to shut up. Pana had never talked to him like that, it kinda scared him. He whimpered scared as he sunk back, just letting Pana take him away from the party. His whole body was shaking as he looked at Pana's back. He jumped a little as the door was slammed shut.

He looked up at Pana as he began to yell at him again, making Wayo whimper. You are scaring me he whispered looking up at him. He understood what Pana was saying, and he was happy that he interrupted it, but he didn't have to yell at him, getting angry or aggressive, it only scared him. He stepped a bit back looking at Pana, he was beginning to panic, that was until Kit came in and Wayo sighed in relief. He hurried over to Kit, stepping behind him. Everything is fine, thank you Kit he said before walking away, not really knowing to where, but just away from Pana.

He heard Wayo's voice yell at him, he met the boy's eyes hating how consumed he was in this very moment, he couldn't even recognize himself. It was Wayo's scared whimper and shaking body that snapped Pana out of his rage when the door slammed shut.

Pana looked at Wayo as he yelled at him, the whimper leaving his lips making Pana freeze, he had no idea where all this anger came from you scared me! i thought he was gonna... Pana just looked away not wanting to make Wayo more afraid than he already was. When Wayo stepped a bit back looking at Pana, Pana felt like someone had just punched him in the gut, he looked at Kit close to tears when he saw how Wayo hurried over to Kit, stepping behind him and walking away from Pana. Pana almost feel over when he saw Wayo leave him and go back inside, what is wrong with me...he just makes me so angry and happy...i don't know what is going on with me...fuck...he makes me crazy he said throwing his hands up in the air, Kit just shook his head looking at his friend you like him...and i think you might love him..but you should talk to Dao about this...because we both know why you are going to keep pushing Wayo away...and i think your grandad might help you see something's that you can't...so please Pana make the right choice Kit said hugging Pana before going back inside.

Pana stood outside trying to calm his rapidly beating heart, he let his eyes roam around until he saw Wayo, he walked inside over to Wayo taking his hand please come back to the room with me...i promise i won't leave you...please Wayo i just need to...fuck...im sorry i shouted at you and i just couldn't watch him touch you like that he said looking away from Wayo im going to bed...see you tomorrow he said leaving the party, his mind and heart in conflict about what he should do...leave Wayo and let him be happy or be a dick and take Wayo back to the room

He couldn't really place Pana anywhere. He didn't know how he felt if he even cared for Wayo. It was like sometimes he did, and then other times he didn't. When he just leave him every time after he kissed him, it wasn't Wayo who kissed him, no it was Pana himself, and then he just walked away. Wayo didn't know why he still pretended to care for him, it was sending so different messages to Wayo.
He didn't want to stay there any longer, he couldn't handle seeing Pana like this, so angry and mean, he was a totally different person and he didn't like that person at all.

It made Wayo gasp lightly as Pana suddenly appeared again, taking a hold of his hand. The confusion was painted on his face at Pana's words. The sudden change in Pana was so confusing for him. He really didn't know if he should believe him, that he wouldn't leave him. It had happened so many times, making him very cautious when it came to Pana and stuff like that. Why... Why are you like this? Suddenly you care for me, the next minute you can't be in the same room... Pana I don't know what to do... he mumbled sadly.
He couldn't believe it, he was going to leave again, just leaving Wayo there with so many different feelings.
A sudden sadness turned into slight anger, as he walked straight for Pana. He really didn't have any sense of time, since Pana was already in the room. Wayo must have stood there pretty long, for Pana to already be back.
You always leave me... he whimpered as he looked at Pana. It was enough, he couldn't handle this anymore, he needed to confront Pana about it, it was breaking him.

Pana looked up a bit surprised when he saw Wayo walk into the room, the small whimper leaving his lips making Pana's head spin because i...don't know what to do...how to...be...so yes i leave! and yes i have sex! and yes i do it to fucking hurt you! because every time i am near you i feel like...i am not in control! and you make me want things that i don't want to! so i hurt you because if you hate me then maybe this constant stupid need for you will go away! but it doesn't! it only gets worse! he yelled storming over to Wayo, he shouldn't be mad or blame Wayo for all this...it was his own fault...he was the one who spent 9 years forcing himself to like girls when he never did, and the stupid cute Wayo walked into the room and it was like all his hard work was just thrown out the window...it was just so frustrating! he wanted to scream and shout until his voice gave out! he just stood there looking at Wayo angry and frustrated that he couldn't just tell him that he might very well love him and want him so much that it hurt.

But as every time he tried to say any of this to Wayo no words left his mouth only a small moan as he pressed his lips against Wayo's pulling him over to Pana's bed laying him down no talking...just let...feel...because i....if anyone touches you again i will kill them he growled attacking Wayo's lips and grinding his hardening cock against Wayo's. He moaned and gasped into Wayo's warm mouth tugging at his cloths and letting his warm hands roam over Wayo's body no one can fucking touch you like this...understand no one he growled biting Wayo's throat

He wanted to hurt him? How could he do that to him?! He promised he wouldn't hurt him ever, he promised on the first day, repeating that word.
He gasped and backed up a little, as Pana came storming towards him. With a shaky voice, he managed to confront Pana just a little bit.You promised you wouldn't be mean to me! You are making me so confused, I don't know if I should kiss you or not. I can't get myself to just ignore you... he whispered. He didn't want to see Pana this angry, certainly not at him. It felt wrong, he only wanted to see Pana happy when he was there, he only wanted to make him happy.

He swallowed thickly as Pana took Wayo over to his bed to lay him down, what was he going to do there? It made Wayo slightly nervous because Pana was clearly not in his own mind, he was still angry and it made Wayo wonder if that was what drove him?
He didn't care though, as the minute Pana's lips pressed against his, all worries vanished. It had happened so many times before, every time ending with Wayo crying his eyes out, every time him saying that it wouldn't happen again, but there he was... submitting to Pana.
His heart began to beat out of his chest by Pana's words. If anyone touched him again, he would kill them? Why? Wayo didn't matter to Pana, did he? He wouldn't treat Wayo like that if he liked him.
He moaned out, grasping Pana's arms with shaky hands, as Pana began to grind against Wayo's dick. It felt so heavenly good, even though they wore clothes. He clung onto Pana as he felt his hands caress him, making him suddenly calm down.
O... Okay he choked out as a moan escaped him when Pana bit him. It felt so good, it made him flush red in his face and down to his heaving chest. He shivered, Pana was so possessive, so aggressive, it made Wayo nervous, though he didn't fear that Pana might hurt him in any way.
You are making me nervous he gasped as he looked up at Pana, shivering. He wanted Pana so badly, even when he was this possessive, it was so hot that Wayo couldn't resist. But... what if he would just leave him again? He couldn't handle it one more time, it would be devastating.

Wayo gasped and backed up a little, as Pana came storming towards him. With a shaky voice, he managed to confront Pana just a little bit, Pana just stood there listing to Wayo only getting more angry and frustrated i know...and i don't want to hurt you...it's just you make me feel...i don't know...its all so confusing he said defeatedly because what was he supposed to say, it all felt so wrong and messed up and it was Pana's fault because he could keep his hands to himself. Kit was right what he was doing was beyond mean, it was downright cruel, all he wanted was to see Wayo smile and hear him laugh but for some reason every time that happen he wanted to kiss him and hold him and do things to him.

Wayo swallowed thickly as Pana took Wayo over to his bed to lay him down, Pana wanted to tell him he would be nice, sweet gentle even, but he couldn't because it was like a primal part of his brain had been turned on and all he wanted was to lay claim to Wayo and take him. So he kissed him hungrily loving how Wayo moaned out, grasping Pana's arms with shaky hands, as Pana began to grind against Wayo's dick. Pana Let hins hands dance over Wayo's beautiful body wanting to know every part of it, the choked out moan that Wayo made when Pana bit him only made the older boy bite harder and circle his hips teasingly against Wayo's, and you make me crazy he said softly and almost lovingly. Fuck he wanted Wayo, he wanted him naked and panting underneath him moaning his name in pure pleasure as he made him cum...made him his and only his...it was all getting too real and Pana could feel the fear of disappointment creep in...he needed to talk to his grandad...needed to know that it was okay that he loved this boy...fuck he loved him...that's why Pana stopped just as he finally had opened Wayo's pants and had his fingers warped around the other boys cock. He looked down at Wayo sighing fuck...this wrong...i....im pissed and you are drunk...and you talk about how sex should be special....we can't do this Wayo....it's wrong he said removing himself from the other boy