Is it a nightmare, if it really happened? - Reginald [fortidsemne]

"Again!" Lucifer's voice echoed of the walls of the near empty storage space. In the middle of the room sat a young Melania, no more than seven years old. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate. She tried so hard to do what her mother wanted, but she couldn't do it. She stopped trying and looked at her mother. "Mum, I just want to go play." Melania begged her mother to go play with the limited toys she had. "Not until you do what I want. You don't want me to bring in Victor again, do you?" Melania didn't like Victor. He always wanted her to sit on his lap and read to him. She didn't like it when he hugged her or kissed her. But most of all, she hated when he took another person into the storage room, and threatened them with a gun if she didn't learn to use her abilities. When she couldn't perform, he would shoot them right in front of her. She would cry for hours, until he came and took away the body and cleaned up the blood.

Melania woke up. For a short moment, she didn't know where she was. She took in a deep breath and let a hand roll over her forehead. She got out of bed and put on a robe, before going out of her room and into the kitchen. She looked into the fridge far to long. She was still affected by the dream. It wasn't really a dream though. It was exactly what happened. She appreciated her friends so much. She wasn't sure she would have gotten through it without them, but she still hadn't told anyone what happened. She had told them all she had run away from home, but she never explained why. She didn't want to live through it again. But then again, she was living through it in her dreams. Maybe she should just tell somebody as much she could, without pushing them away. She would never tell anyone who her mother really was. But the world was filled with evil people. It wasn't unlikely, someone else would make their children go through what she had. She grabbed a water bottle and closed the fridge again.

Melania had seen Reginald around the house when she woke up before. She never talked much with him. Mostly because she was in her own her head, visualizing her childhood. If you could even call it that. She hadn’t heard him coming, and made a slight jump with her body, expressing that he startled her. Then again, she was a jumpy person. She always expected her mother to one day stand right behind her. She turned to him and made a nod, before taking a sip of the water. She walked to the counter he sat on and leaned against it. ”They have been worse lately,” she told him. He was already the only one who even knew she suffered from the nightmares. She wasn’t one who overshared. It was troublesome to even get her to share just a little bit about her past. But he was here, so maybe she should just get it off her chest. Perhaps that would help her deal with it, if she knew she wasn’t in it alone.  

”I know,” she said in a lowered voice and looked at him, when he put a hand on her arm. She really liked this friend group. They were all very protective of each other. Some might say too much, but she didn’t think that. She wanted someone who would go through hell for her, literally and figuratively. She didn’t know if she was quite there yet. They had all known each other since childhood. She was the new comer, and she didn’t always feel like she belonged. Not that anyone had made her feel that way, it was all in her own head. ”That might be best. I can’t handle anymore scares tonight,” she expressed and followed him to his room.

She looked around. It was a simple room. Very much like her own. She didn’t have many things to put into the room. For Reginald, it was maybe more because he had another home. She only had this. What a sad reality she lived in. She stood with her back turned to him. Her finger was constantly pushing against the edge of a desk. She needed to keep herself occupied, if she was going to talk about this. ”I have never told anyone why I ran away from home,” she said and looked down at her hand. ”My mum she wasn’t a good parent. She was more interested in what I could give her, than providing me with love and safety. She had me stored away like a property.” She had to breathe through her sentences. It was so damn hard to talk about. ”The only people I met was her and a man called Victor. She used him as a punishment. Every time I didn’t show signs of any ability she could use for her own good, she would send him in.” She was beginning to tear up now. ”First he would…. He would touch me. Kiss me.” A tear ran down her cheek. ”If I resisted he would hit me.” She grabbed hold of the desks corner and pressed her weight against it. ”He would try to make force forward an ability by threatening to kill people. If I couldn’t do it, he would kill them and leave me with them for hours.” She finally turned to him. She removed some of the tears running wild. ”I just wanted her to love me. I wanted to make her proud,” she said. She felt like going away. She hated to cry in front of others. Another thing that was her mother’s fault. She had always been told only the weak cried, and there was no place for weak people in this world.

It was hard to say, but she also felt relieved. She had gone around with this secret for so long, and it had been killing her. She had become less than what she was. She appreciated that he just listened, that he didn’t react until she was done. She let out a slight gasp as he suddenly stood by her. He took her face in his hands, and she just leaned into one of his hands. She had never been so emotionally open with anyone, and although it was scary and hard, it was also rewarding. He wiped away her tears. Her gaze fell to his eyes. What he said made feel a lot of things. She was loved. She had never felt love before. But this right here, him being here for her, that must be love. She didn’t know how else to describe it. She was quick to put her arms around him, letting them travel up his back and her hands reaching his shoulders. She wanted him close. If he was close, she wasn’t scared. She didn’t have to deal with anything alone.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed feeling so protected. She now understood how much she had craved this all her life. It had been all she ever wanted. Now that she had, she feared for her life it would one day disappear, that she would one day lose it. She pulled a little away and looked at his face. ”Thank you for listening,” she responded. Melania felt calmer. She looked at him as he moved out of the embrace and suggested she got some sleep. It made it seem much more appealing knowing he would be there. She laid down in the bed and tucked herself in nice and good. She grabbed for his hand. ”I have never loved or been loved. Not until I met you guys. I don’t know how be deserving of that,” she admitted and looked up at him.

His promise made a warm feeling spread through her. Hope. Hope that she would never have to be alone ever again. She knew him well enough to know, he would keep his promise. Reginald had never made her feel like she was supposed to be someone or something else. Neither had any of his friends, of her friends. But before she could be herself, she had to find out who that was. It had taken some time, and she was stilling in a search for herself. Once in a while she would discover something about herself, she hadn’t known before. She looked into his eyes as he laid down next to her. His comment made a smile form on her lips. ”That is the cutest threat I have ever gotten,” she said and turned from her side to her back. She closed her eyes as he almost ordered her to sleep. It didn’t take long before she was sound asleep.

----

Melania stretched her legs and feet as she was beginning to wake up. It felt weird that she had to do that. Mostly she didn’t need to, since she woke up several times doing the night and walked around. She felt more rested than she ever had. All because Reginald had been her. It was the only thing different. It had to be him. She turned towards him and put a hand under head. ”You’re still here,” she said with a soft voice. Part of her expected him to break his promise. It was what she was used to. ”Good morning,” she just laid there, looking at him. She didn’t want to leave his room just yet. This feeling of safety, trust and love was like a warm blanket, and she was afraid she would feel cold if she left.

Melania had been suspicious of the group at first. She had thought they wouldn’t help her out of the goodness of their hearts. She then started to realize there was no hidden motives. They really just wanted to help keep her safe. Still now, she sometimes feared it was all just a big trick. But in this second, she didn’t think that. She trusted him completely, which was why she had been able to sleep so well. ”I hope they didn’t give you too much trouble,” she said with a smile. She reached up to his hair to fix a lock of hair that had gone rogue throughout the night. She laid her hand down on her thigh. She nodded to answer his question. ”I have never slept better,” she admitted. Before, Melania would put up a wall around herself to keep people out, but she had broken down the wall when she told him everything. Now there was vulnerability in her eyes, only he got to see. ”I might need to keep you as my sleeping guard,” she said with a smile. She didn’t expect him to, but she still wished it could happen. That way she could, hopefully, sleep throughout the night more often than she had done lately.

Melania was not a woman of many words, especially not when it came to expressing what went on in her mind or heart. She was more likely to show what she felt than say it. She smiled as his words and watched him as he closed his eyes. He looked so peaceful. He was actually really handsome. She hadn’t noticed before. She saw him in a new light now. She felt her heart skip a beat as he took his hand. The movement with his thumb was incredibly relaxing. Just feeling his cold skin against hers was something unique. She was tempted to ask him to stay with her every night, but she also felt a little greedy by asking him to do so. It might being enough if she knew, she could come to her if something happened. ”That’s very nice of you,” she said with a smile. ”I might just take you up on it.” She didn’t know what he had done during the night, but she hoped he hadn’t been bored. She made a small nod when he said he needed something to drink. She couldn’t possibly understand the way a vampire felt about blood, but she would never judge something because of it. It wasn’t their choice, not most of the time anyway. ”Okay. I'll be right here.” She sat up after he had left and felt so full of energy. She felt happy.

She looked at his back. She could guess what was going on, but she didn’t think he needed to hide it. He wasn’t a monster. Your species didn’t do that, actions did. She looked around the room as he had left, feeling so incredibly well-rested, it was almost like she had never really slept before this night. She also had this weird feeling. She was closer with Reginald than she had ever been with anyone. What did that mean? They were standing on the edge of a cliff and could either jump together or take a step back. Or one of them could fall without the other. She looked at him when he returned. She moved the bottle to the bed table and did the same to the fruit when he gave it to her. ”Thank you,” she said and looked at him. ”You don’t have to hide yourself. Not to me,” she was referring to his vampire traits. She didn’t mind. She had seen worse than that. ”You are not a monster. You are one of the kindest people I have ever met.” She took his hand and held it in hers. ”You are beautiful, because your soul is beautiful,” she said in her poetic way. She had dabbled with song writing, so it wasn’t that weird it affected her way of thinking. She looked at him, and she could have sworn her heart seemed to jump a beat. It was scary, that all she could think about was having him close, making sure he was safe and happy. She wasn’t sure she wanted to feel like this. What if it changed everything between them, and they could never go back. She couldn’t tell him about this. It was too risky. She put up a smile.

Melania could understand the habit to hide. She had done it plenty. Hiding a part of you that you thought ugly. ”I understand that. I just wanted to let you know,” she said with a soft voice. She had no way of knowing how it felt when he, Anastasia, Jamie, Oliver, Karmena or Theodore needed blood. She guessed it wasn’t like a regular hunger. She had never been one to judge on species. Even though her mother had tried to convince her fallen angels and demons were better than the rest, she had been treated better by sirens and vampires than she had been by angels and demons. She felt hear heart beat faster when he admitted to liking her. She looked at him for a while, not sure what to say. She felt the same way, but was she ready for something like that? To admit her own feelings? She smiled by his next words. ”I think I like you too,” she said a little unsecure. She had never felt like this before. ”I’m almost certain I like you,” she added and looked down at their hands. What now? Was she supposed to do something? She hadn’t even had her first kiss. Not unless you counted the one, she had with Lion in a game of truth and dare, but that wasn’t real. Could it be real now? ”I don’t know what to do,” she admitted quietly.