A heavy truth

LOCATION | The garden at Daisy & Cassian's house
DATE | 15th of May 2022
TIME | Midday
WEATHER | Warm, blue sky
ATTIRE | Link
TOPIC FOR | @Selene
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She had counted every single day since it had happened. Cassian and Daisy being kind enough to have her stay here for this long, even if she didn't want to burden them by it. She had found comfort in knowing there was someone somewhere when she woke up at night - because the night terrors had been real the first few days, then turned into normal nightmares, and well she still had nightmares. Victoria had found enjoyment in sitting outside and just sit near the little pod looking at the fish, having heard a few stories by now on it was here Cassian and Daisy actually had met first - funny enough. She knew Selene was dropping by today, so she was just sitting here waiting for her to come, just assuming that she wanted to perhaps check up on her. Not that she didn't understand people wanted to make sure she was okay, she just barely knew how she felt herself. Mono was still dead, and she wasn't - how did you accept that?  Selene's scent made Victoria turn her head and give the werewolf a bit of a warmer smile, waving her over to come sit down next to her. "Hey, good to see you," she spoke. At least it was under better circumstances than last time they had seen each other. "How is it going?"

She had been weighing her options in all of this. Most of the time she thought about just forgetting what she had figured out, but she also knew that Jack would never let it go. Now that he had found his family, it was like he had finally understood the meaning and now everyone deserved to know if they were family. It was getting a little annoying if she was being frank, but she also understood that it was coming from a place where he just wanted what was best for her.
Still annoying.
She parked her car, having left her motorbike at home, she closed the door and waved to Cassian that was standing in the window and then nodded towards the garden. Well, she could already smell it but nodded and then went around the house where she found Victoria nestled into the big garden. “Hey, yeah you too” she said with a smile and walked over and sat down looking into the water and saw a couple of fish swimming around in the pond. “Hmm?” she said looking towards Victoria and then gave her a small smile and shrugged “You know, one day takes the other, nothing of interest is going on, which in our world should count as a good thing” she laughed licking her lips as she took out a bottle of the finer whiskey “I thought you might need some pick me up” she winked and handed it her “please don’t be shy in sharing” she said before turning her eyes back to the water. She just needed some way of easing into the topic. But right she didn’t really know how.

Victoria chuckled a little bit, it was the sad truth of their lives. It was the days where nothing happened that tend to be the ones you should cherish. But it was also in times like this where she could feel she was beginning to sit still too long, and she had talked to Kailani about getting into work within a few days, just taking a few hours. It would be nice to distract her mind a little, get to feel she was alive, maybe she should even call up Linus, hear if he had anything interesting under the radar? Then Victoria spotted the bottle of whiskey and couldn't help but chuckle, "one of my favorites," she teased a little, well she did appreciate a good whiskey, always had. "Oh, I'm anything but shy," Victoria laughed a little and took the bottle to open it, then she took a few good mouthfuls, "yes that is the stuff," she handed Selene the bottle again. It wasn't like Victoria hadn't picked up on something being different about Selene's scent last time they saw each other, honestly there had just been so much else. But she didn't understand why or what it was.

“I know” she said with a small smile and then looked towards the sky before closing her eyes for a moment. Letting Victoria taking a few sips before she took the bottle and did the same. “Really is a good one” she mumbled, even though it was still a little too pricy for her taste, but what you didn’t do to make your younger sister feel a little better.
“Victoria?” she said, before handing her the bottle giving her a small smile. “that night, were you met Sophia and Mateo” she started letting out a small sigh as she pressed forward and placed her elbows on her thighs before turning her gaze towards the water slowly moving around aginst a couple of stones. “The man that she was talking about. Crispen Holden is his name” licking her lips she let out a soft sigh “I’ve been going over this conversation a couple of times in my head, but I would never wish on anyone that I was about to tell a person that their father was Crispen Holden. He, he used to be the Alpha for the Golden Nightwalkers, a shapeshifter and werewolf mixed pack that wasn’t really that keen on humans, he was also my father” she said with a slow voice and then looked towards her waiting for it to sink in “I really wished that I wasn’t sitting here and tell you that the man I hated with a burning passion for at least fifteen years of my life were yours too, but here we are - but it also makes us sisters” she breathed out slowly while keeping her eyes on Victoria.

The second Selene mentioned her name Victoria knew there was something bound to happen, she could feel that. Then the conversation returned to that night, but not in the way that Victoria thought it would. She mentioned the man whom Sophia had talked about, the guy who was Victoria's father. Victoria wondered how Selene knew the name, knew anything about it really, but other than that, it was a classic Selene thing to know a little bit about everything. But then she told her something else, something entirely unexpected. That Crispen had been an alpha - that he was Selene's father. Victoria blinked a little bit, connecting the dots. That would make them, sisters - what a world. Victoria moved her eyes back to the pond and took a sharper breath in. "That's all?" She chuckled a little bit turning her head back to Selene and then exhaled a little again. "Who would have thought," Victoria mumbled and took the words in. She had tried coming to terms with the fact of how she had come into this world, how it had made her sick to her stomach knowing, but she could only imagine Selene feeling just as sick. "So sisters huh?"

“That’s all," she whispered, smiling slightly as she heard how Victoria chuckled. She hadn’t known what to expect when Victoria was told they shared the same father. More so what she would think when she found out just who the father was. Now, Selene had never for a second believed that her father had been faithful towards her mother, and there wouldn’t be more siblings of her running around out there. It would also seem that her father hadn’t even needed the consent from women to do so.
Then the dread hit her; if Victoria had the same ability as her, that meant. That meant her father did as well. Even if there would be hope that it might not be so, the thought was still there, and it scared her shitless.
“Sisters”, Selene agreed, giving Victoria a slight smile that sadly didn’t stay on her lips for very long as she turned her head towards the fish living their best life in the water in front of them. Selene couldn’t really explain what was going on; maybe it was one of those things that people called depression. Perhaps it was just her. And her need to power through this just like she usually did. But she wasn’t sure what to think right now, which was so unlike her that it almost scared her.

Maybe she had just reached the point of not knowing how to process things anymore, so she just took everything in and chose not to overanalyze anything. Losing Mono had for a moment just split her mind along side with finding out your family was far from what you thought it was. So, accepting the insane had seemed like the way to go, so here she was just taking everything in. Victoria took the bottle once again and took a mouthful, maybe it was about time she got out into the real world again. She couldn't keep sitting on her ass as much as she did, just starring at the fish or run for a little escape with Katelyn in her different shapes - even if it was a nice escape it wasn't reality. "Here I thought I was cursed with only having brothers - guess like a part of my luck has turned around," she chuckled a little trying to find a little taste of humor in the situation. Not that it was easy, but if there was anything good about any of this it was perhaps she had gotten a sister out of it. Then of course she had just met Mateo as well, who was on her mother's side of the family. So many new members that was related to her by blood, and she barely knew how to take the first step and conversate about it. Because it was strange. "We don't have to talk about it, we can talk about something - anything really," she invited Selene to avoid the obvious topic about their father.

Selene laughed, shaking her head. “I always knew that I had siblings, just never knew”, she said with a small smile; she then looked at Victoria as she told her that they didn’t have to talk about it, and they could talk about anything that came to mind. It wasn’t that Selene didn’t want to talk about it or that she minded the fact that Victoria might have questions about everything. She just didn’t know how to start or begin, for that matter. “I don’t mind answering if you have any questions, but we can talk about the weather, how I’m going to beat Rafael’s ass the next time I see him - well, like you said, pick a topic, and I’ll follow,” she said before it followed with a small sigh. Maybe it wasn’t that diplomatic, but Selene had never been a woman of many words unless she got upset, then she had lots to say. But for the most part, she always used her fists to talk with her or let others speak, and she could just sit and nod and listen. For the most part, which worked for her as she either had people around her who liked to talk or had people who enjoyed the silence that she provided.

"Gaia's best kept secret I guess," she chuckled a little bit, while shaking her head. It was insane that her mother, or mothers she guessed had found a way to keep her out of harms why by making sure no one within the family could track her down by scent or magic. It was like the death had refreshed her story and thereby cleaned all the old spells and what so ever that might have been cast in the past. Which was also how they had figured out she was a beta shapeshifter, making somethings about her behavior at least according to herself falling into making more sense. The next thing Selene said made Victoria fold her lips together, however she managed to chuckle a bit when Selene mentioned even talking about how she was going to beat Rafael's ass up next, "even if I would like to beat some sense into both Rafael and Lucas about the matter - I don't think it's gonna solve anything, they made up their mind a long time ago, and perhaps its just how its going to be," she took a sharper breath in. It had been rough, feeling like she had lost Lucas because of how their perspectives had changed. It didn't change that she wasn't thinking about how Cecilia was handling the entire thing with Mono, or Evelina for that matter. However, whenever she had been at the casino with the crew, she had felt at home it had been the closest thing she had felt like being a home since Southside, and that meant a lot. "I guess, its just been really odd - some days its like nothing has changed and yet, I feel like everything has. But also feel like some things just have fallen into place, where other things have completely shattered - you ever feel like that after you come back?" Victoria then wondered looking over at Selene once again.

Her brows furrowed when she mentioned Lucas; she hadn’t known they had a falling out. I only heard whispers in the corners that she had left Rafael mostly because they had grown apart or had a falling out, depending on whom you asked.
But before she could ask what had happened, she turned the question to the matter of dying and then being resurrected. Swallowing, she felt a lump form in her throat, and her fingers glide over the thin line where Quentin had decapitated her. She tried to massage the lump away, not that it helped. “I don’t think it can really compare”, she whispered, not that she wanted her to feel worse, she had enough to ponder about, but now that she had asked, she deserved the truth. “You were lucky in the way that you ended up not far from where you had been killed,” she said with an almost meek voice that was so unlike her usual way of speaking; she turned her gaze towards Victoria and gave her a sad smile. “Not that I say you were lucky to die, nor what happened to you – but I ended up somewhere I still don’t know where was; each time you die, you gain something, but you lose something as well, so in that sense, I think I understand with the part being shattered” she sighed taking a sip from the whiskey starring into the unbothered swimming pattern from the fish.

Victoria knew very little about Selene's ability, close to nothing other than she had it and the fact she didn't control where she ended up. Not that Victoria really had thought about that by asking, but she had asked now, so she had to deal with what ever answer she was getting. And it wasn't really because she wanted to compare. She just wanted something to make sense or at least get some perspective. But perhaps it was also what she was searching for these days, a meaning, but came to the conclusion every single time that she needed to get out again before she repeated the same mistakes and went into isolation completely. But it had been somewhat easy to do, she had been able to just play couch potato with Cassian while Daisy was at work, not knowing how many movies they had watched by now. Yet she listened to Selene, without really looking at her at first, because she realized it was a sensitive topic. "Yeah -" she exhaled then moving her eyes from Selene again looking at the pond as well. "I've been thinking about starting working again, I hate the feeling of just sitting in an evil circle while the world just goes around, I did that enough when I lived at Rafael's - feeling stuck, I don't want to fall back into that again, I just got out you know?"

She nodded slowly as Victoria approached the topic of getting back into the real world. Letting her tongue glide over her lips she looked at her with a small smile. “I can only speak for myself, but sometimes getting back into it get a normal life, is how I got through it,” she said with a sad smile because it wasn’t a thing that you needed to get through really, even though the people that it would affect if you died and didn’t come back. But sometimes you shouldn’t wish to outrun these things, because it left something in you, or took something away however you decided to look at it. “So maybe it would do you good to just come back to a normal routine, just take it slow, however,” Selene said and took another sip of the whiskey before handing it back to Victoria.

She liked that idea somehow just easing herself back into her normal life, because well her more normal life had started again the moment she had left Rafael. Victoria had found herself again, and she wanted to make sure not to lose that - not that she was counting on people letting her go that low again. It seemed like the people who actually cared had accepted who Victoria was and what she was doing, anyone else could just suck it and go. "Yeah, Kailani actually texted me an hour ago or so and asked about how everything was - maybe I should say I will come by work tomorrow, just take a few hours and taste the waters, do what I'm actually enjoying?" Victoria let her thought out loud for herself to actually hear them, and she liked the sound of them, taking the whisky once Selene handed it to her, and taking a few sips.

Selene couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle and then nodded; it gave her a feeling she hadn’t felt for a very long time. Respected, which was odd because it wasn’t because Walter didn’t respect her. But there would always be a difference between her being a beta, now Luna and him being an Alpha. It just added to the point where she didn’t always know where to place herself because she was more than just a Luna. Her finger glided over the ring that once again was on her finger, something she had to get used to as she had never been a woman that wore much jewellery. “I think that is an excellent idea, no one will fault you if you take a step back again if it suddenly becomes too much, but it’s better to try, right?” she said with a small smile, then let out a small sigh “If you ever need a pack, or somewhere to seek shelter, I’ve decided to go back to my old pack, become a Luna again, so if you ever need a place” she added again she gave her small smile “Knowing that Southside might be more up her alley, but sometimes it was the thought of knowing there was a home somewhere in all of this madness, that make things feel better.

She hoped Selene was right about that, that no one would blame her if she needed to take a step back. Then Selene offered her a place in the pack she was a part of again. Now, Victoria had only heard a little about the different packs, mostly because of Rafael. Then she had met Tatia once. But other than that it was only rumors she went by regarding other packs. Some more than others. But coming back to a pack and becoming a luna again - it was a hard choice to make. Victoria knew that. It had been the weirdest thing about leaving Rafael's pack, because she had been so close to them. Yet never felt like she truly was a part of them. "Thank you," she did however truly appreciate it. Even if she wasn't sure that wolves was her best hang, neither of her shapes were really finding themselves completely calm, and yet around Selene and Mateo they had all settled rather quickly. Especially the snow leopard that otherwise was rather picky about the people it truly did let in. Then other times she was surprised about who it let it, how easily it had been for people like Linus - Kailani and the rest of the crew to sneak their way under her skin. "I will remember that. I do truly appreciate it," Victoria added with a nod, then taking another mouthful of the whisky.

"Besides I somewhat forced Cassian to watch friends with me, just seemly because I think Joey and Chandler reminds me of him and Dion - not that he could see it, even though Katelyn and Daisy agreed with me," she chuckled a little. At least it had been some wholesome days, despite the things that had happened, "so I think he will look forward for me to get going, even though I know I can stay if it is needed, which is nice too."

She nodded, giving Victoria a soft smile. “Walter’s pack differs from the fact that we also have Elisabeth, that is a tribrid, wolf, witch and vampire; her son is a created vampire who is also part of the pack, or you know, as much as he would like to be, he usually keeps away – but it is still far more open than most packs” knowing that Rafael could be very narrowminded when it came to who could join and who was out, besides he had an immense hatred towards vampires that had never really sat right with Selene, as she had always tried to look at the person rather than the species they were. She then snorted when Victoria mentioned that Cassian and Dion reminded her of Joey and Chandler, not that she knew either of them good enough to know; she wasn’t even sure if she had ever met this Dion in person. However, it was still funny to her to imagine. “Sometimes we don’t feel comfortable acknowledging we are portrayed in stereotypes”, she chuckled, taking another sip of the whiskey.

Victoria nodded a little bit, not saying much for a moment as her thoughts tried to find a way through the maze, yet even then she didn't find the total meaning of things. "What you reckon of this new beta energy I got? I know its rather pathetic right now, but I bet its gonna blow up at some point," she chuckled a little, with the protection spell that had been over her till the point of her death, it had hidden it rather well, at least on the aura. But once it had been removed it was like everything somehow just set in to how everything was supposed to be. Like the rebirth had just pushed things in the direction to the final kick she needed. Victoria took another sip of the whisky, then let out a deeper breath, it was weird and not weird at the same time. How life just kept going despite all of the things that happened. "We should do something soon then, go out for a drink or something --" she shook her head a little - what did sisters go do?

Selene chuckled as Victoria pointed out the beta energy. “Well, I, for one, always knew it was there; it was just a matter of time before it showed”, she said with a small smile; her hand found Victoria’s shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze “it’s just about the time that you find the people that will bring out the best in you, instead of finding people that would rather just keep you down on a level where you don’t belong” and didn’t she know that feeling all too well? But she was happy with her decision to become luna for Walter again. If anything, she knew that Walter would be open to changing things around, and who knew, maybe she would be the very first female alpha that could stand beside her alpha mate. If anything, she didn’t doubt that she would be the one to do it. Maybe it was just time that there came a shift in how packs worked, that the females got more to say.
“That sounds nice; when you are settled and found a place to live, you also have to invite me over for dinner, even if you just order pizza”, she laughed, giving Victoria a small smile.

A soft smile folded on Victoria's lips, then listening to the next thing Selene said. It was something she had reflected over a lot after her argument with Lucas back at the casino, how he said she was better than this. Which in truth mostly had come to her realization was him losing a bit of control over the situation, fearing her change. Even so, Victoria hoped that Lucas would come around to accept who she was rather than keep trying to pull her away from where she was meant to be. "Yeah, it's rather easy just letting people walk all over you, and sadly most times we first realize it before its too late and the mask sticks to firmly on our faces," she exhaled a bit, then shaking her head.

Victoria chuckled a little, when she settled. That was the first issue, she had to find a place to call home, she knew she would have to settle for less than what she wanted. Victoria had to once again just find a four walls and make sure to have a roof over her head, but she had to let go of the fantasy of being able to return to Southside. "I will invite you over for pizza - otherwise I will just risk burning the place down," Victoria let out a small laugh, but she wanted that. To just be able to be sisters. It could be nice.

Selene scuffed as she agreed with Victoria; it was easy to let people walk over you, especially when you weren’t even sure who you were. Every time you looked into the mirror, that constant question mark hanging over your head, it had a way of just – well, making you take things that you would typically never have dreamed about letting people do to you. Which was why Selene didn’t think any less of Victoria; even the fiercest woman could be put to the ground under the right circumstances. Now, all it was about was getting back up and start moving again. That was the only thing that Victoria couldn’t let happen that she would end up just staying there on the ground ere others had put her.

“Hah, well, something we have in common, I’m not even sure I should be allowed into the kitchen” Selene chuckled, even though she wasn’t that bad, but an improvement was perhaps necessary when she one day had her own kids.  

Victoria couldn't hold back on a delighted laughter, "I am not allowed in the kitchen, I used to take food from the academy back home with me to the trailer so I didn't end up burning it down," she shook her head a bit, that was before she had moved in with Rafael, then he had cooked all the dinners, whenever they hadn't just ordered take out. Thanks to Kailani, Victoria barely had to think about anything in that regard, and one of the few new pleasures she did take without complaining. Because even though Victoria very much liked to stand on her own two feet, she did not shy away from the when people did something for her or bought her something. "Maybe one day we will learn, perhaps we can help each other become the next master chefs, or something close enough," she chuckled a little bit shaking her head, by the perhaps wild idea. But she liked that, helping each other grow, even if it was such a thing as cooking together - making up for time they hadn't spent together till now.

She actually liked that, so much so that it startled her for a moment. “I would actually love that”, she whispered, giving Victoria a soft smile “we can just find some interesting recipe, and if it turns out horrible, we order take out; either way, it sounds like a win, win”, she added, because no matter what it meant spending time with Victoria. And it could be fun being in a kitchen together, especially if you were both in the mood for cooking and it wasn’t something you thought you needed to get over with. Besides, she needed to learn, so why not make it fun instead of a task that might end up disappointing you every time you didn’t manage to make it taste good, or it didn’t turn out like in the picture.
“But all that can wait when you are feeling better and have another place to stay, or you can, of course, just come to Walter and my house,” she said with a smile, but it might be more comfortable if it was back at her own place, which for Selene wasn’t a problem at all.

"That is a fucking deal, cheers to that," she lifted the flask and took another sip of it. Then nodding when Selene reminded her it could all wait till she was settled and was feeling better, "of course, and by the means I already feel better having spent time with you right now," she confessed with a warmer smile. It was the truth. "But yeah, otherwise I wouldn't mind a day come and visit you and Walter," after all - the most things she knew about other alphas came from Rafael, and the only other alpha he seemed to have some respect towards was Tatia. Which Tatia understood, she had met the alpha - and she knew she didn't even wanted to.

A brighter smile formed over Selene’s lips as Victoria told her that she was already feeling better just by spending time with her. “Well, I’m happy you do! I’m just happy that we can that because no way in hell I was coming to visit you at Rafael’s, that kid” she snapped her fingers while she tried to remember. “Hermine, right? She always had it out for me, for someone that was supposed to be a beta” she shook her head “she still has a long way to go” she sighed and then gave her a small smile as Victoria told her that she wouldn’t mind coming and visit her and Walter, it made feel even more that she had done the right thing even if it was still a little problematic with the fact that Walter had been the reason why Irina had turned. But when it came down to it, it suited Irina to be a werewolf, and she had found peace with Nigel and made a family with him. So, wasn’t it only fair that she did the same?

Victoria couldn't help but laugh a little bit, if there was any reason why Victoria would even think about going back to Rafael's it was simply because of the warmth and the habit. But bad habits needed to be broken, and she was sure there would be other places that would grant her with more than just temporary warmth. "Oh yeah Hermine," she chuckled a little bit. Not that Victoria minded the kid, but she knew it was different beta to beta. "But like can you promise me one thing? If you ever find me attempting to contact Rafael or go to his place, you stop me - like tackle me or something" she shook her head, knowing if anything she would end up in a bad circle that would be a lie. A fake comfort that wasn't fair to her or Rafael when it came down to it.