This will haunt me forever - Ava

Time: 18:15
Place: A warehouse owned by a third party
Weather: Cold but not freezing, very dry
Outfit: Changing, but mostly black and with gloves
Participant: @Ava

Capturing the girl had been mostly easy. Godric had a rare affinity with fear and that effect could prove paralyzing. He'd done it to the girl to get her in the car that he had bought specifically for this venture. Just as he had borrowed this warehouse for it, and just as he had stacked up on all the food and water they'd both be needing beforehand. Everything for this. The cleaning tools, the protective gear. Godric was extremely methodical and a perfectionist to an unhealthy degree. And having to hold a person captive was not on his normal list of jobs that he did, but this paid very - VERY - good money.

The room that he had put her was dimly lit so it didn't seem too intimmidating - he wasn't paid to be a cruel psychopath after all - there was a soft mattress that se could lay on and a bucket that would serve... Other needs. One of her wrists had a chain on, that was hooked to the wall so that she couldn't get near the door - a safety precaution - but he had fitted it so that it wasn't digging into her skin. It was safe enough that she couldn't just slip out that easily. There was always two water bottles in there.

Three days had gone by where he'd mostly left her alone unless it was breakfast, lunch or dinner time. Mostly he just kept watch from outside the room via cameras that he'd installed in every corner of the walls, high enough that you'd need a ladder to reach them. Again, on purpose.
Today was no different than the other days. Godric had made dinner for the girl, which he brought in, silent as ever. He was still as gentle and calm as always as he carried the tray, leaving it on the floor within her reach but he himself, away from her reach. Just as usual. Glancing at the bucket and finding it empty, he shrugged. "Let me know i there's anything else you need," he spoke in a calm voice as he went back to fully standing on his feet, looking at her in case she had anything she needed to ask for or about.

Ava had not spoken very much in her time here. For the first 24 hours, she had been in shock. She had not been able to comprehend the situation. Then the next night she had been so scared, she had prepared herself for her uninvoidable death. And the last 36 hours, she had been confused. Why was he so nice to her? Shouldn't he just treat her like dirt and leave her to rot. Unless he was planning on her staying here for a while. Her heart was working on overtime, constantly shifting between beating normally to beating irratic. She looked down at the white dress who was surprisingly enough, was not that dirty. She was sitting on the madress and just looking at the wall. She traced her fingers over the bumps, finding images in them. It was the only past time she had here.

Ava didn't know what time it was anymore. If she was lucky, she would catch a ray of sun through a window, which would tell her if the sun was setting or rising. She looked at the vial around her neck. She had been instructed to only drink it's content if she was in danger. And she was, wasn't she? But she also didn't know how long he was going to keep her here. Maybe she should wait. She tugged it into her dress so it wasn't as visible.

She sat up when she heard the door being opened. She looked at the trey before looking back up at him. "Don't." She said and looked down to the chain on her wrist, she moved it back and forth a moment. She had tried using magic, but something was stopping her, cancelling out her magic. "Don't me nice if you're going to kill me," she said quietly. She stood up and moved as far towards him she could before the chain stopped her. Her expression was not angry or scared, it was begging. "Can you at least..." Tears appeared in her eyes. She didn't want to die, but if she was going to, she wanted to do so with dignity. "If you really are nice, can you give me some time for myself before dying?" She wasn't even sure if she was going to die. Maybe Jaxson's blood would be able to save her.

As Godric looked into the girl's eyes, he was met with a begging expression, one that he could not see through. She could be honest or it could be fake tears. He didn't know, but it did tug at his heart strings to see her cry like that and her request was one he wouldn't mind giving her. She was going to die after all, so why deny her a last wish? And she was actually being polite about it too, which also helped her case a lot. He started at her for a while, his own eyes void of the emotions that he held inside. Feelings of wrongness. He normally never felt that way because he usually killed his targets before getting to know them or having them around for more than an hour or two. Was it regret? He resented it. A job was a fucking job, nothing would change that. Ever.

"Remember to eat the food," he spoke in the same clear and calm voice but he sounded more empty than before as he stepped backwards towards the door, still looking into her eyes. "I'll come back to collect the leftovers later. Until then I'll give you some time by yourself," he would not expose the part where he'd kill her, because he didn't want to frighten her more than he'd already had to. But he had kind of revealed it indirectly by granting her the wish that she asked for. He knew that, and she probably did too. There was nothing to do about it. He closed and locked the door as he stepped out of the room, staring at the shut door for a good minute, collecting himself again before returning his attention to the camera-feed.

Ava trusted him in a way. Not that she should, but he did look like her teacher. She had formed a form of friendship with Jaxson, one where he was kind enough to offer her a way to heal major injuries or, in worst case, avoid death. And even if she had no desire to become a vampire, she didn't have much of a choice if she wanted to survive, did she? She just looked at him, blinking away the tears. They were real. She was horrified about what was going to occur. But asking for time alone was nothing else than strategic. "Thank you," she told him as he left.

She turned her back on the camera. She took hold of the vial in the necklace. She held one hand on the vial and led it to her lips and the she used to sweep her hair back as she tilted her head backwards to swallow the blood, but to the camera, it hopefully just looked like she was frusterated and staring into the ceiling. She wiped her lips and sat down to eat the food. She just wanted it all to be overwith now. She just wanted to be free again, in whatever way that may be. Ava left half the food and just pushed the trey aside. She sat down on the mattress, folding her arms around herself for a short while. She then looked directly into the camera. She was ready, and her eyes showed it so clearly. Her green eyes had such a clearity in them, you would only find in children, animals and dying people.

Godric didn't notice what Ava did, because she did it while he was staring at the door. Instead he watched as she ate half the food on the tray and then pushed it away to sit holding herself. He just stared mindlessly until he gained eye contact with her through the camera. That's when he saw her readiness and he knew that he couldn't allow her to wait. She was ready now and today was the day anyways. But how would he do it? He couldn't use his powers because he didn't want her last minute to be of fear. He wanted her death to be as clean as possible and he looked down at his own hands. It had been a long time since he'd had blood on them, gloves surely, but still. He'd mostly killed people with his fear inducing powers, not with his hands or with tools. Not for a long time at least. He stood, then walked towards his bag where he took a coat made of plastic on, so as to not get blood on his clothes, then roamed around in the bag until his gloved hand grasped the handle of a silenced gun. It would be for the best. A shot straight through the heart would send her into shock so she wouldn't feel it.

Then he walked into the room with one hand behind his back - the one holding the gun - and went straight over to sit next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders in an attempt to calm her, and also have full control. "I'll make it as quick as possible," he explained gently. He was still void of emotions on the outside, but he still felt really really bad about this. It brought back memories that he didn't want to have, and it also made him hesitate while the memory of his irst kill kept replaying itself in his mind.

...

A blurry figure was standing, elevated as if on top of its own pedestal, arms cross, eyes shining with pure judgment. Resentment. The heavens were crackling with foreboding energies as if the blurried figure’s anger was directed towards everything. Angels of many faces stood in a circle, the most powerful one’s right by their leader. Their God. And God was an unforgiving deity, looking down at his former son. His own creation. An angel who had done the most impure action that could ever be done by one of his own.

The angel was sat on his knees, two angels keeping vigil over him as his wings stretched with nervous tics. His hands covered in blood. His face contorted with fear, shame, and anger. Fear of his God, shame at himself, anger at the demon that had seduced him so. But there was no going back now. He was here, presented, and he would be judged.

“Son,” the godly voice sounded, like a thunderstorm waiting to happen mixed with a bittersweet parent’s voice. The angel looked up, into his father’s eyes, begging. Begging for forgiveness that he knew he would never have. “You have wronged the Heavens. You have failed. I am disappointed in you,” the voice was cold where before it had been warm and caring. This side of him was terrifying. The angel, Azra’il, bowed his head, not daring to look at the figure anymore. “Your destiny was to separate body from soul.. After death. Not before. That was in your name. But you failed,” Azra’il kept his head down but his hands clenched themselves in the anger that he felt. He had been cheated, wronged. It wasn’t his fault.

“No, I didn’t do it on purpose. She TRICKED ME!” brown eyes turned black as a newfound ability found its way to the very core of the wronged angel, but God was forever unbowed. Some of the younger angels screamed in fear until God’s voice sounded clear.
“You are banished, son. You are forever banished from a seat at my home. You will walk eternal amongst the people you have wronged, and you shall never fly again,” panic etched its way into the young angel. He stood up, terror evident in his eyes as the power stopped.

“No, please, NO.. Don’t do this, DON’T DO THIS!” but his voice fell on deaf ears as God stepped down from his pedestal to grab each wing. With one powerful pull, the wings were torn off his back and pained surged through Azra’il as he screamed in pure agony. Tears were flowing free from his eyes as he was cast down from the sky, doomed to an immortal life on Earth.

Ava just sat still, hoping he would come. Hoping he would get it over with. Hoping she wouldn't have to suffer. When he did come, he sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders in waht could have been a calming gesture, had it not been done by the person who was about to kill her. She didn't say anything. She didn't look at him. Her body was calm and prepared. She wasn't scared. She was just prepared for it all to end.

----

And just as she was ready for it to end, she saw something. She saw him. And she felt something. Angels were were surrounding him. And that was when she realized, this was him. It was his memory. He looked so different, so young. And he was scared, ashamed and angry. So many emotions going through him, right before he was to be judged. Right before the life he knew was going to end. Just like her. She saw the blood on his hands. Was this his first kill?

The anger became worse when the father, God, spoke. When the angel was cut off because of one mistake. A horrible one, but still just a mistake. It was her anger. It wasn't fair. She reached for one of the angels to get them to stop them, but her hand went straight through them. She was nothing but a bystander, she had no say in this. It had already happened. All she could do was watch. It felt like she was invading a private memory of his, but she didn't know how to stop it.

She felt for him. He had been tricked into killing. He was not a bad person. And some place deep down, she knew he still wasn't. He had treated her with such respect and dignity. He was not a bad person. She could almost feel it when the wings were torn from his back so violently. Wasn't God supposed to be fair and just. This was not that. He didn't even get a chance.

----

She was breathing heavier, her heart was beating stronger against her chest. She looked up at him. She saw him in a different light now. He had been lost once too, he had done something he would have to live with. She felt like she needed to say something, but instead she just reached up and let her three middle fingers touch his cheek. It was so strange to know what was going to happen, to know what he was about to do, and still feel so emotionally connected to him. She looked forward again at a spot on the wall across from them. She took in a sharp breath and held it.

Godric didn't know why she suddenly started breathing heavier or why she looked at him all differently, even going to far as to touch his cheek this way. Something had clearly happened though and there was an odd connection that he felt was there. He didn't know what it was or how it had gotten there, as he had never in his 500 years life felt a connection like that. Only before. Every soul he'd welcomed into Heaven had had the same kind of connection and this was a call-back to it. He didn't know what to say, or what to do. He felt lost again, but he knew he had to do to this job no matter what, so as she looked away, he slowly and subtly pointed the gun right towards where her heart was.

"Whatever caused this. I'm sorry. I'm just doing the work I'm paid for," he would never have said this to anybody else, but this was just so different. He said no more. Instead he pulled the trigger and the sound of the silenced gun sounded. He even felt her twitch, before he steadily, but quickly put her on the floor next to the mattress, standing up and pushing the matress itself away with his foot so that it wouldn't get stained with her blood. The less he had to clean up the better. He would still burn the matress along with any evidence, but he didn't want it to drag blood all over the place. Then he started at Ava, the young girl who's life had been taken away from her at a far too young age. His eyes were back to being empty again. Methodically he found a body bag outside the room that he put her in before taking her body outside to the rental car. He put her on the back seats, got off the plastic jacket and switched gloves before driving a bit further away from the place where he put her body in a nearby alley, taking the body bag with him back. It would be burned with the rest, and the entire room she'd been in would be cleaned on every last inch to delete all evidence that he or she had been here. He even took the bullet that had burned straight through her with him to dispose of somewhere else. His job was done. He could get paid and then go home.

//Out

She didn't look at the gun, but it was all she could feel. Everything else seemed like a blur, she felt like she was floating, with just the gun keeping her grounded. She heard his words and a single tear moved down her cheek. She felt no pain. She just felt herself drift away. "Azra’il," she whispered with her last exhale. She then fell into his arms, her body numb, not moving at all.

When he was moving around, she felt like she was drifting around, not really gone but not there either. She was in limbo. She didn't experience anything that was happening to her body. She just felt like she was floating in water, drifting out to sea with nothing keeping her connected to the beach.

As she laid there in the alley, she was pale, the blood had stained a lot of her dress around the chest area. It was easy to see she had been killed. Her hair covered half of her face. Her conciousness was pulled at, pulled back towards the beach. She was coming back. She was not going to die. She was going to live. She felt the hope change everything.

Jax hadn't seen the young girl at the academy for three days. Normally he wouldn't be worried, she could be staying home due to not wanting to go to her classes or she could be sick? Could witches even get sick? He didn't think much of it the first to days but on the third he checked in with her room mate just to be sure that nothing was wrong. That's when he figured out she'd been gone from the academy completely. He then chose to go out and look for her with the use of his extraordinaire senses. It was a bit difficult because Gaia was a big city but eventually at the evening he picked up a trail, not only of her blood. But also his own. Then shit really hit the fan! He'd told her not to use that blood unless she absolutely had to!

Jaxson ran until he was at the docks - a place he'd avoided for a long, long time - but he didn't have time to shudder or be afraid. The metallic smell of Ava's blood was strong in the air. He ran a bit further until he came to an alley where a body lay, pale and bloody. It was Ava.
"Oh fuck, oh shit, oh f.." he swore under his breath before walking in and checking for a pulse. None. Oh no.
He lifted her body from the ground, looked around until he found a window in a building, then ran for it at top speed to make sure nobody would notice them. Through the window, into his bedroom. He had to force himself to a halt there, in order not to risk running into a wall.

With great care, he put her down on the floor before going into the kitchen where he almost emptied his entire fridge, bringing blood bags én masse to the bedroom, tossing it on the floor franctically.
Then he bit open his own wrist he and opened her mouth.
"If you can hear me, drink," he spoke, almost forcefully as he let the blood drop into her mouth. He didn't even think about the consequences right now. About the fact that he would become a sire at a way too young age. About how stupid this was and that he should've contacted someone who had more experience in this.

Jaxson's blood was healing her body, and without it, she would have died instantly. But instead, she was holding on as the bullet holes in her body was healing. She would not be able to survive the blood loss no matter what. She didn't hear anything that happened. Her body and soul was still severed. Until she was transformed, she wouldn't experience anything around her.

As Jaxson opened her mouth to feed her blood, she just laid there, before she had enough blood in her to awaken simple bodily reactions, such as swallowing. When she had enough, her fingers started moving as the first thing. Then her eyes sprung open, ruby red, and she looked right up at Jaxson, not realizing it was actually him and not the person who killed her. She moved away from him. "Don't hurt me," she begged and curled herself into a ball near the bed. Then the hunger hit her and overshadowed everything else. She removed her arm and looked at him. Then at the blood. She sprung forward again, grabbing the blood bags and emptiing them with such great appetite. When she was finally not as hungry, she dropped it on the floor and wiped her bloody mouth. "I'm a..." She just said, not able to finish the sentence. "He killed me," she mumbled under breath, thinking of the angel who had looked exactly like Jaxson.

It stung Jax' heart when Ava moved away, obviously afraid, not only in her body language or in her verbal language, but also the feelings streaming from her. It made Jax' eyes flash red for a second before he got control over himself, looking at her, alert of anything. He didn't even need to ask her to drink from the blood bags. She attacked them of her own volition as he started feeling more and more bad for doing this to her. He shouldn't have!

As it seemed like Ava got more control over herself, Jax stood up and walked over to his nightstand, still keeping watch over her as he got his spare sun ring out. He'd asked one of the teacher at the Academy to make one after he'd been kidnapped. It was always more practical to have a spare one. He then walked back to Ava and crouched down at arm's length holding up his hands to show that he meant her no harm. "It's okay, it's me," he spoke softly, his eyes concerned. "It's Jaxson," he added just so that he was sure she knew. Because he knew how traumatizing it could be, being transformed. "Ava, take this ring. As...." he could barely finish his sentence, but he knew it simply had to be done.

"As your creator, I command you to put this ring on and never take it off unless I say it's alright to do so," it was one of the first things James had commanded him to do. That order wasn't a thing anymore, but Jax still kept that ring on, knowing exactly what kind of damage it could cause if he stood in the sun without it.

Ava was confused and a bit scared, but there was also some relief to be alive. She still remembered that feeling of drifting away, of dying. She shuttered and put her arms around herself again. She rested her forehead on her knees as she made herself small again, which wasn't that hard when she was not very big to begin with. She was so wrapped in herself and how everything seemed so heightened, how she could hear something happening blocks away from the, how she could smell the whiff of perfume from a woman walking by. How she could hear his pulse. She felt the pointy teeth prick at her bottom lip.

She looked up when he came closer and assured her he really was Jaxson. She looked at the ring he held forward. His words made her reach for it. She didn't feel like she had a choice. When he said the word creator, it became all to clear to her what had happened. She took the ring and put it on her ringfinger. "What am I going to do now?" She felt so hopeless. Everything was different now. She had to live from people, she could never have children and she would always be cold, she would never feel her heart beat again. She sobbed once and covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm dead," she said and felt tears forming in her eyes. She had not thought about all of this when she drank the blood. She had just focused on not dying, on escaping the situation she was in.

Jax could see the same willingness to do as she was told, that he'd had when James had commanded him. He didn't like the control he had over Ava. That was the one thing about the sire bond that he actually didn't enjoy, not on himself and certainly not on Ava either.
He wanted to soothe her, hug her and tell her it was okay, but she rolled up into a protective little ball and it made him hesitate for a bit as she asked what she was going to do. Jax knew exactly how she could get help and she was already there: The Academy could help her where he could not.

As she began sobbing, Jax felt her inner sorrow and he knew she probably had the same thoughts as he'd had. He cold even feel that she felt cold and he knew that he could do nothing to help her. He was cold too. Always so cold. But as she broke down, he scooted closer and put his arms around her, hugging her tightly. "Yes.. And I'm so so sorry.." his voice cracked once before he got back in control of his own emotions. "You're going to feel different. Your senses much stronger, you'll heal faster, your... Emotions will be stronger too. And you'll need blood. But I'll help you, and the Academy will help you too. You're not alone, that's for damn sure," Jax explained as best he could, but he felt so much inferior so his own sire when it came to this.

Ava's thoughts were racing, reminding her of all the thing she would miss, all the thing she was never going to experience because of this. She just focused on all the bad things, on the things she had lost. She was not handling it very well. She was afraid she would never be used to this, that she was going to hell herself or never be able to control herself around people.


She felt his arms around her and her sobs simmered down. She just listened to his voice, it was all she knew to do right now. She leaned into him, placing her head on his shoulder. "Can I... Can I stay here?" She was scared of facing the world right now. Everything was changed for her, and she just had a crippling fear that everyone else would know too, that they would look at her funny when she passed her. Or worse, that they would be scared of her. She was not ready to leave neither his place or his embrace. She needed the security his arms offered her right now.

Jax kept Ava in his embrace for however long she would need it. He loosened his grip a little when her sobbing subsided, but still kept his arms around her to make her feel safe, because there was still a lot of conflicting emotions coursing through the young woman. At least Jax had been fully grown up when he got embraced. He couldn't even begin to imagine how this must feel for a teenager.

"Of course you can. Actually, the first few days, I think it would be for the best if you stay here, while you..." he hesitated, swallowing a lump in his throat, still feeling really bad about what he had done. ".. While you get used to how this feels," he muttered finally, as he tried to stow away his own feeling of regret over this. He still felt really shitty about doing this to her.

Ava was trying to stop herself from thinking. She knew she would only focus on all the bad things with this, all the things that she lost by being a vampire instead of the things she gained. She stayed close to him until she was ready to sit on her own. She wiped her tears. She looked curiously at the deep red tears on her palm. She was crying blood now. Great.

She looked over at him when she agreed to her staying. "Thank you," she told him with a sniff. "And thank you for saving me." She looked around herself. "I still can't believe I died, that I was killed." She remembered it clearly, from how he kept her captive until he used a silent gun to her heart, robbing her of her life. She was only 17. And she would be 17 forever.