No thing like fate - Nickie.

Chance was enjoying his Saturday so far. He was still getting used to school, even if had been a few months since he started. He was getting a new roommate today. He couldn’t really focus as he was still thinking about Nickie. He really felt like he had missed his chance with him. What was even wrong with him? He was dating a beautiful and amazing girl, so why was he thinking about others? He sighed and threw himself onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling. He laid there for a while letting his thoughts wander all the way to France and back. He sat up and decided he was not going to lay here and feel sorry about himself. Nickie was seeing somebody else, nothing to do about it. He looked around the room and saw the picture of Echo he had drawn. He should try to catch up with her soon. He actually did like her a lot. She was fun and interesting and well… She probably deserved better than him.

He decided to go down to do something. Maybe then the roommate would have arrived when he returned. He grabbed his sketchbook, a pencil case his headphones and went through the school to find something to draw. He ended up near a window, looking through into the garden. He put on some music and started sketching what he saw. He had never thought of it as something creative. He didn’t really do anything but drew what he saw. It was almost like he was taking a picture. He stopped halfway through and looked down at it. It was not right. It wasn’t what he was supposed to draw. He turned to a new paper and looked at it. He just started drawing, no motive, just his head and fantasy.

When it began taking form, he knew exactly what it was. He stopped drawing after he had drawn the eyes. Nickie was staring straight back at him from the paper. This was unbearable. He stood up and went back to his dorm. An hour had passed, so maybe his roommate had arrived. He opened the door and looked inside.

The Shirt He has Borrowed - TheSweather
Instagram Photo - NickiesInstagram




His head felt like a freakin train wreck, and what was worse, he had almost forgotten most of what had happened that night, but he did remember seeing Chance there, also him calling him a child in front of Luca, and then him.. looking from Chance side probably.. like he rejected him, but it had never been his intention, but he couldnt just come by and think that he could order him home. " Who do he even think he is? ". He suddenly found himself on the ground, before looking backwards towards a stone that had pushed itself a little up, clearly trying to give him mere unluck than he already had. He already felt unlucky enough, before finally reaching his dorm, still feeling like the light was his worst enemy. The first two students he met, looked back at him before giggling, before a girl slowly went by him, waving before saying " Nice moves Nickie, perhaps you are not a loser after all ". She winked to him, before walking past him. He looked after her, not really knowing what the hell she was talking about, still feeling dizzy a little bit and also drained, like he had used. " Omg! ". He suddenly stopped moving almost, as he stood there, remembering his dance spell. " Noo no no! ". He suddenly remembered EVERYTHING.

His cheeks blushed up with redness, before he moved as fast as he could to his dorm, before opening the door to his room, suddenly noticing a note on the desk. He walked over there, feeling his heart slowly pound faster, before seeing what was written on it. The headmaster wanted to talk to him. He was scared.. was it found out that he had been drinking before 18?, but then again.. in England you were allowed to drink at the age of 16-17 years, but maybe the school didnt see it like that. He looked at his phone for a minute, still broken a little at the top, so he couldnt see the time on it, and it also looked like it might have some problems internal, but not enough for him to not being able to answer on Instagram, on the new morning picture he had taken down at the basement of Luca´s home, where he had slept on the floor almost all night, actually pretty comfortable, but he had been drunk out of his mind and still where.

He had a long conversation with the headmaster before walking out and then looking down at his screen, thinking about if Chance had an Instagram * no Nickie dont.. dont think like that, he has a girlfriend, he choose that way himself, and how dare he speak french in front of me *. He remembered Chance yelling something at him, or them.. but not what, just that it didnt sound english to him, or maybe it was?, maybe he had just been so drunk?. He walked up and packet all his things before walking inside the room, looking around a little. " Hm? ". He stopped when he saw a picture of a girl.. stepped closer and then noticed her. He turned around before starting to unpack and then it hit him. " Wait ". He looked around a little, suddenly realising that it was Chance´s room, it had to be.. the scent smelled so familiar, and the pictures of france.. the girl. He was certain of it now.

He quickly walked out the door, before walking to the headmaster, passing his own room, where two persons was about to move in. SO QUICKLY!?. He stopped as he walked back before asking. " Are you moving in here? ". They looked at him, before one stepped forward, named Averett " Yes, my names Averett little snowflake ". He winked at Nickie, before Nickie looked at him quite surprised. Averett glanzed at the other person for a moment, before saying " Thats Grey i think? ". Grey looked at them both for a second, before saying " Hey ". Nickie waved a little, before saying " Welcome to Athena ". He smiled a little, before waving goodbye to them, before walking back to the room. * Damnit!, i cant even move back.. how am i even going to get any sleep, and what if.. what if he brings Echo over and they start.. *. He felt like kicking the wall, but he still had a faint black eye, so he wasnt going to also get a bad foot. He gently opened the door to the room, before stopping up, looking at Chance and then at the door and then Chance.

He walked inside, not knowing what to say, still with his har messy all over, as if he had done something he shouldnt.. but he hadnt, as far as he knew?. He looked slightly to Chance´s side, not wanting to talk to him, before he noticed the cast around his hand. " Are you okay?. What happened ". He sat down i the new bed, before finding some things forward that he could hang up on the wall, before laying his phone on the nightstand, still open on the instagram side. He turned and started hanging pictures up, feeling embarassed that Chance could look at him.. and his.. well.. if he did. He was wearing the tight black pants still, but the sweather was something else, than what he had on the night before, meeting Chance. " About yesterday.. could we.. maybe just forget that night ".

Chance had seen the video of Nickie once, then once again. And then one more time. After their confrontation, he didn’t think he was going to see him anytime soon and he was heartbroken. He hadn’t admitted it to himself, but over the past few months, he had fallen in love. Quickly and hard. And now he was gone. He had pushed him away. He wasn’t happy about that. He resented himself for it. Maybe it was better if he didn’t see Nickie, because it would be too damn painful. He had heard what people said around school, wondering who it was Nickie was singing about in the video. Maybe it would be better if people just found out, if people knew he and Nickie had their summer romance. Then it would be out there and he didn’t even had to say it himself. But then on the other hand, his mother would just interfere if it came out there. She might just pack up again, take him to somewhere nobody would ever find them.

Chance had talked with the principal about getting a roommate. He thought it might help distract him from the heavy heart in his chest. He had been told it was a possible and he would get one already the same day. People weren’t moving slow around here. To really mess himself up, he had even checked Nickie’s Instagram. It really didn’t vote well for his heart to see him and Luca communicate on the platform. He didn’t dare to imagine what had happened after Nickie had gone with him. Chance went back towards his room, the one casted after his unlucky encounter with a harmless wall. He had of course made up an excuse. A careless werewolf had kicked his hand instead the bottle on top in a stupid dare. It was a good an excuse as any. After leaving Nickie the night before, he had gone to the emergency room to have his hand fixed.

He topped in the doorway, looking at the person in front of him. He didn’t more than a glimpse to know who it was. He looked down when he saw he could barely look at him. He had really just destroyed everything hadn’t he? He looked at his hand. ”I’m fine.” He really didn’t want to lie to him, so he didn’t answer what happened. ”I wasn’t sure if you remembered. But yeah. It’s forgotten.” He moved to his bed and looked at him for a moment. ”Actually… I want to just apologize before we forget it. I had no right to act the way I did.” He looked over at the bedside table. A plant Echo had brought him was standing there. A few more were placed in the windowpane. He went over and picked up a small spray bottle to water the plants.

Nickie placed his little fern plant at his side, looking at Chance´s plants for a moment, before asking " Oh, i didnt know you liked plants also.. ". He smiled a little, just to make up for everything, before feeling a deep feeling inside of his gut, before he took himself to his stomach, making a small pained expression, before turning his back to Chance. He couldnt remember much after having come home from the city, other than he had jumped in the pool, but how he got up or how he got to bed, everything was a mess, one big blurr in his head. He felt the dizzyness take over a little, before walking over and then finding some books, especially one, from langugage class in French. He didnt mind Chance seeing that he took that, he could always come up with some lie or anything, saying that he did it for extra points or something.. anything. He turned to Chance a little, since he couldnt stop looking at him. His words from the train.. no he wasnt gay.. and he even had a picture hanging of her. He felt it deep inside of him, how his stomach turned.. " I remember some.. not all of it. Oh dont, its okay, i.. i overreacted, i should.. i should have gone with you, i mean.. i should have gone to the school instead of a.. strangers place ".

He looked at the picture for some time, before saying " It´s a really pretty picture.. of.. her ". The last words were said so low, almost like a mumble. How he wanted to be the one on his wall, to.. to be able to reach and just.. touch him. As he stood there, he could feel it, how everything became to much for the hangover body, before he quickly put a hand over his mouth, before moving to the bathroom. He opened the door pretty quickly, before throwing up. He closed his eyes, as he threw up, again and again, almost gasping for air, while feeling his head bang inside, like someone was hitting him. He slowly reached for some paper, trying to wipe his mouth, before feeling his stomach turn again. * Kill me.. *. It was not only embarassing, but also degrading.. sitting there, leaned over a toilet, while trying not to get anything on Luca´s sweather. He felt pathetic for a moment, but he knew what it was.. the alcohol mixed with dehydration and the also the thought of Echo and Chance.. how he clenched his fist just thinking about it, and now.. he would be reminded each and EVER DAY. He felt like drowning.. but he had to stop, he had to just.. keep going.. Chance was more than a crush, he was someone he cared about and if Chance was happen, when he was happy.. or at least, he could fake happinesss.

It wasn't like they were hanging around texting each other like crazy. Echo barely even used a phone, expect Lana convinced her it was life or death. Echo was finally back at the academy after a few days of camping. It calmed her mind spending time with the forest, also sending it to sleep as winter came closer. Echo had swung by Anacoana's place first before getting back to the academy. She stopped by her room for a few minutes to see if Lana was there. Echo put her bags on the bed before heading down the hall way. She walked towards Chance's room when she realized the door was already open. Maybe he had just gotten back himself? Echo didn't think more about it and walked closer. She sensed another. A stranger. The plants told her to be aware, but they always did that with strangers. She was so lucky that this side of the academy was so close to the woods out front - it meant she was still connected to it. Echo stood en the door.
"Yeah I know, its a great picture," she lifted her eye brow slightly and looked at the stranger. "Who are you?" Echo didn't really ask, it was like she claimed to know. Echo had an arrowhead in her left hand, and looked down at it as she inspected it with her fingers. Then she looked up. Echo looked over at Chance and her eyes caught his hand. There was a wilderness in the blonde girl's eyes, unsure what it meant. "Don't stop the conversation just because I arrived guys," she clearly had spent too much time with Lana - her attitude started to match the prime evil siren's.
"Did you forget to water them again? They are crying out loud for you to take care of them," she walked in and grabbed a water bottle before she watered the plants.

When he finally was done with puking his own guts out, he cleaned his mouth, before walking in to them again, after having brushed his teeth, since he didnt like over excessive stench, and he had also cleaned the bathroom after himself. He looked at them, tried not to behave like he had just puked for a good minute or more, before he looked at Echo. How it felt like a kick to his stomach, and the way that she just so careless touched Chance. He looked away for a little moment not even knowing what he should say, before he closed his eyes, clearly like he was in pain, which he were, both physical and metally. He then looked at Echo before shrugging for himself, as if he said to himself, that this was it, the battle was lost.. Echo seemed like a beautiful girl, and it wasnt her fault that he had fallen for her guy, and he wasnt out to take anyones. " My names Nickie, nice to meet you ". He smiled at her, but didnt hold out his hand, as he didnt see an oppitunity that made it possible for him, to do it without it being awkward.

When he heard Echo´s words about the plants, he couldnt help but smile a little, before he sat in the bed opposite to Chance´s. " Do you love plants to? ". He didnt say like, because he loved plants. He had a fern at his nightstand, a little one but it looked so green and healthy, almost like magic had been used on it, but it didnt. He sometimes had song for his little fern, given it a name, Bregne, which meant fern in danish, which he thought was mighty cute. He looked at Echo as she watered her plants, since it looked more like hers than Chance´s. " So?.... did you both have a great day.. ". He looked around a little, feeling like he should leave the room, but if he did.. would they then.. kiss. He could feel the gut crushing feeling again, before taking one of his books and then burring his head down into it almost, as he held it up in front of himself, trying not to look at them, while he tried to untangle his headset. * I cant.. take this.. *.

Chance could understand why it looked like he liked plants. ”No it’s…” He stopped himself and looked away. ”They were a gift.” He did think that Nickie had found a new interest, which was fine, expect it wasn’t. He never wanted him to look at him the way he had since they met. He knew what he had said and how he acted didn’t match. He just really didn’t know how to stop being like that around Nickie. He was special. ”No… I mean… If that was what you wanted to do…” He didn’t really mean it. He really wanted him to have come back with him. Maybe he wouldn’t be so terrified of him forgetting him if he did. He just didn’t know how to be without Nickie in his life anymore. ”Yeah… Thanks.” He looked at the drawing before looking back at him as he went to throw up. He didn’t know if he should go to check on him.

Chance took a few steps towards the bathroom when Echo walked in. Nickie came out a few moments later. Chance looked at Nickie before moving to Echo. He put his arm around her. ”You make us speechless,” he said looking at her with a smile. He wasn’t lying about that, but maybe not for the reason he made it sound like. He let his arm fall down his side when she went to water the plants. ”I try to. I’m just not a plant person.” It wasn’t because he forgot to water them, he usually just watered them too much or too little.

Chance saw how Nickie reached out to her, introducing himself. He didn’t deserve that kindness.
He sat down on the bed while they talked about plants. They had that in common, it seemed. It was probably his type. A siren, a daughter of the goddess of nature and a witch with flair for plants. It had to be his type. ”It was fine…” He looked at Echo, then at Nickie. Back at Echo. No, he couldn’t do this anymore. He had to do something. ”Echo, can we talk in private?” He stood up and walked towards the door leading to the small area between rooms. They should be able to talk in private there.

She snorted a bit at his comment as he put his arm around her. Echo looked over at the boy called Nickie. She narrowed her eyes a little not knowing what actually was going on in this room, or what would have been going on if she hadn't been stopping by. "And yeah, you can call me a plant person. I thrive in the forest area," she gave Nickie a little half smirk. "I'm Echo." Then he returned her eyes blue eyes towards Chance, as he replied to Nickie's question. It made her frown a little bit. Echo watched how he looked back and forth between her and Nickie - like he was spinning around not able to deside what to do or say. Echo looked back at Nickie. "Thanks, its been quite good. You seem to recover from a hard night out huh.." she walked over to him and grabbed his hand. Then she removed the symptoms before replying to Chance's question.
"Let the drama begin," she mumbled and looked at Nickie with a little smile. "You should drink some more water. It will speed up your systems natural healing," she turned around and followed Chance. Then she closed the door and lifted a brow a little.
"What?" Echo crossed her arms a little. "Aren't you having guest? It's a bit rude for us to chat while he is just sitting in there? Who is he even, I don't remember seeing him or hearing about him before?" She then asked and tilted her head a little to the side. "Anything you would like to tell me?"

When Chance said that she left them speechless, he couldnt talk on Chance´s ways, since he had nothing to hide, he just had this.. horrible feeling inside, like hes insides were dying, if it was from the display of affection towards Echo, or if it was because he had a hangover or even both, he didnt know, but he knew that this was what it was like.. to be tortured and he would have taken any other form of torture any day, instead of this. He could feel it, how his body slowly started to shake a little, while he tried to keep it under control from the big emotions that ran through him, as if he was going to vomit again, from just the sight of it. Not because he hated Echo, cause he really didnt. She seemed like such a beautiful and caring person, with love for plants.. something most people took forgranted. He finally got his headphone untangled, before he took them inside his ears, while trying to find some soothing and comfortable music, but still so low, as he could hear some of the conversation, because even if he was dying inside from hearing them or seeing them together, he couldnt help himself.. it was as Chance had said that day in the train..


And right now, it was killing him. He smiled when she told about thriveing in the forest. " Me too ". When Echo looked back at him, he held the one in ear phone out, so he could hear her, before taking her hand, as saying hi, but felt something else?.. He looked rather shocked for a second as the symptoms started to removed themself, before hearing her help him. Great.. now he just felt more like a fucking asshole, than he already did. It wasnt like he had made a move on Chance, not after finding out about the girlfriend at least, but.. it still hurted him. " Thanks "

His gazed followed Chance when he stood up, before walking to the door, leaning to a small area between the rooms. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, quickly looking away and acting as if he hadnt followed Chance´s gaze all the way to the room. He felt like crying, but he helt it in, thinking about how his feelings would effect both Echo and Chance, two persons that clearly loved each other, why else be in a relationship?. He couldnt get himself to ever come between that, he just werent that kind of person. He looked down for a moment, before saying to himself inside * At least im the only one suffering.. as long as i do that.. none of them wont.. *. He couldnt help but looked after them a little as they walked away. He put the in ear headset in, before looking down into his book, and then taking his phone, looking at the screen, wondering if he should write to Luca and ask to stay there the night, but he also knew that he had to deal with his emotions.

Chance swallowed when Echo healed him. This just made it so much worse for him. He felt like a real asshole to her. And he just decided enough was enough. He had let her on for far too long. He felt strongly about her, he did care about her, maybe even love her, but not romantically. ”He’s my new roommate.” He explained looking at her in front of him. She really was so beautiful and kind. How he had even been able to let it go on for so long was just horrible. She could have been with someone who actually loved her in the ways he couldn’t. He had robbed her of that. ”Yes.. Well…” He sighed and looked down a moment. ”Merde,” he cursed before looking up to meet her eyes. ”I think we need to… We need to break up.” He didn’t know how she would react, but he was prepared for the worst. He deserved much worse than she would give him. He didn’t look away from her to see any reaction she might have. It was horrible timing, but he just knew if he had to share a room with Nickie, there was a great chance he would end up cheating on her, and that had to be worse. He parted his lips slightly to let a little bit of air out. ”I’m sorry.”

Echo took a deep breath in and looked into his eyes, as he told her he thought they needed to break up. First she just stood in silence. Wasn't that usually what people did when someone broke up with them? Her last relationship had been devastating with Dean losing himself and almost taking it out on her. Echo didn't understand human relationships, she didn't understand the term of love - or simply what being in a relationship meant. For her it was just having a person by your side that you cared about. She looked with him with stoic eyes. "Nah it's fine. You are clearly into that one, I'm blonde - not stupid," she breathed out. "Besides, I thought we saw other people as well. Since you been collecting your appetite around the block so you could eat at home," she took a step closer to him and looked into his eyes with a daring look.
"Why do you look at me like you expect me to kick your ass?" She then asked almost offended by it. "You like a guy.. so what.. I sleep with girls, no big deal." Echo didn't have a problem with it. Lana had figured out months ago what was the 'issue' with her and Chance's relationship. After that, Echo had just walked around with the flow. "But honestly I thought you would never figure it out. But the guy is a witch. Remember that. And if you aren't his mate.. it's gonna hurt. I don't know much about love.. but I read that some where, so you will just have to trust me on that one." She warned Chance and breathed out.

Chance just looked at her for a moment. She didn’t say anything. That was a bad sign, right? When she finally spoke, he was taken aback. She knew? ”I know you’re not.” He should probably tell her to not tell anyone. He wasn’t exactly out. ”You’re taking this really great. I should’ve know you would.” He chuckled when she spoke again. ”Because I know you can.” He swallowed when she said it again. Nobody had ever said it out loud before. ”About that… I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell people. I’m not ready. I know you don’t owe me anything, but it would mean a lot to me.” He knew Nickie had a mate somewhere. He knew it would kill him when he met that person, but he was already dying from having to stay away from him, so how worse could it be? ”Thank you.” He leaned forward and embraced her in a hug. It meant so much to him that she didn’t got angry with him. He was so worried, which was probably why he had procrastinated it. He pulled back out of the hug. ”I’ll see you around?” When she had answered him, he went back inside, looking at her as he closed the door. He looked at the drawing of her and gently pulled it of the wall. He looked at it before going to his bed sitting down. He opened a drawer in the bed table and put it down there with all the other drawing things. He would offer it to her along with the plants. They were probably in better hands with her anyway. Or maybe their chance of survival was better now Nickie was here. He looked over at him before he grabbed his phone and laid down. He felt really relieved right now. He felt like he had one thing less to worry about, one less person to lie to. Maybe he could even talk to her about how to handle it, if she wanted to. He wouldn’t pressure her into anything. He turned his head and looked over at Nickie. He put his phone and stood up, walking to the small kitchen like thing between the rooms. He grabbed a glass and filled it with water. He then went back to the room and place the glass on Nickie’s table. ”You should drink,” he said and laid back on the bed.

While they were talking, he sat with his book about - Plants.. he had actually in all his hurry, grabbed the book fro biology, where they had, had something about plants and their veins and well, now he was here. He looked at the book, before starting to read while slowly increasing the music in his ears, as to drown the sound of Chance and Echo out, he didnt want to know if they were going to.. no he wouldnt even think that way. He felt bad enough for Echo healing him, when he felt such strong emotions for Chance. He knew now, that he needed to be the one in pain, that he wouldnt stand against someones love. He slowly layed down onto the comfortable bed, feeling like just laying, looking at the window. He took his book and placed it over his head, before closing his eyes a little, before he decided to take the duvet over himself, gently wrapping himself into it and over his head, before taking his phone under the sheet, using the light to read the book. He didnt know how to act og what to do. He suddenly thought he heard the door, before he gently looked out from his litlte cave of comfort, before looking at Chance and then at the door, taking his headset out. " Are.. you guys okay? ".

He looked at Chance for something that felt like forever, waiting to hear anything.. not like he wanted to hear about it, but he wanted to at least show support, especially now that they were roomies, before feeling his gut again.. now he was sure... it wasnt the hangover that had made him puke.. it was the thought of him and Echo, how it pulled in all his heart strings. He looked at Chance walked out and then back with water to him, even having pulled down the picture of Echo?. " Have you.. broken up.. ". He wasnt gonna ask if it was hes fault, but he felt like it. He loved the way Chance could be so sexy, in a commanding but also caring way. He took a little sip from the water, before taking a little more and a little more, felling a drop travel down his jawline and then his neck.. before gently placing the glass at the table, before looking at Chance with a little smile. " Thanks ". He really felt it now tho.. how his stomach started to stirr.. before he looked at Chance with a little panic.. it must had been for not getting enough food at Luca´s house, with all the meat and stuff, he didnt eat.

He gently pushed the duvet to the side, before walking over near the bathroom again, feeling sick to his stomach, before he sat down in the bathroom. * Im never drinking again.. *. She had taken his naucea and the headache, but the feeling inside of his stomach whenever he thought about them, oh it was still there alright. He leaned forward after puking two times, it had to be that. He felt so dehydrated.. hungry.. thirsty.. how he wanted to.. to get something down. He slowly tried to get up, feeling his head starting to pound a little gain, before walking over and gently taking the sweather off, before neatly placing it at the side of the sink. He had something that could look like a big scrape down his one side, from when he had hurried up from the pool, in his cramping escapade.. not realising the hurt he had done on the way. He touched it for a brief moment, his facial expression instantly showing the pain inside of him, before he looked at the mark of Luca.. and sighed.. he didnt want these feelings that came with a mage.. him and Luca.. they were.. only friends right?. He blushed by the thought of Luca´s lips against his, before shaking his head a little, feeling the water against his skin, as he took something up in his palms and then splashed it over his face.

Chance looked at the cave of blankets Nickie had made. How could he be so adorable? How was it even possible? He smiled when Nickie looked out from the cave. Were they okay? Yeah, he thought so. It didn’t seem like it was going to be some nasty break up filled with spite and hurt. She was so cool about it. She really deserved the world. He sincerely hoped somebody was able to give it to her. ”Yes, we are okay.” He should probably tell him, shouldn’t he? Throw his hat in the game. He wanted Nickie to know that he was available. Even if he wasn’t technically out.
He laid down on the bed after he had gotten the water. He looked into the ceiling considering his options a moment. He wasn’t sure what to do. So he didn’t do anything just now. ”No problem,” he said before he turned to look at Nickie when drank the water which more appetite. Shortly after, he rushed to the bathroom. He stood up and followed him to the door.

He saw him taking the sweater off, noticing the scrape down his side. What had happened after he had gone? It didn’t matter now. He had no right to even ask. He looked at him shortly when he saw the mark on his skin clearly saying the word Luca. He couldn’t decide if it would be better if it was his mark telling the name of his mate or a tattoo he had gotten made in a drunken haze. Both scenarios made his insides turn. He moved away and looked around the room. He didn’t know how to handle this. Even if he did manage to tell Nickie the truth about his feelings, would Nickie even be able to repay the feelings? Echo was right. He had a mate, which was most likely Luca. He expected that was the guy from last night. He looked down at his hand again. He had done this because he had been so frustrated about Nickie choosing somebody else. He couldn’t live like this. He couldn’t live with the thought of Nickie always yearning for somebody else. He just needed to do something. Something that would take his mind off the dramatic movie his life had become.

He found some other clothes and pulled of his shirt, flinching when he got to his broken hand. He stood which his back turned towards the bathroom. This was unbearable. He didn’t know how he would ever go on when Nickie was right there all the time. He would constantly be reminded of his lost opportunities to be happy, or to at least be true to himself. He picked up his phone when it vibrated. His face dropped when he saw what it was. It was a series of pictures from earlier in the year. It was him and another student. At first, they were just talking, another picked show the boy putting a hand on his upper arm, then one with the hand on his neck, the last one was the boy leaning in. And then nothing more. They didn’t show that Chance had pulled away. He was not ready to this. It was not how he wanted it to happen. Had these been sent to the whole school? He looked back at Nickie’s phone when a message popped up on it as well. He was tempted to go and look what it was, but he didn’t. Instead he just fell down on the bed, his shirt still laying next to him. He tried to remain calm but he had no idea how to handle this.

He looked into the mirror with the most tired eyes he had ever had in his entire life, before seeing Chance out of the corner of his eye, clearly a little shocked from actually having seen him stand at the door. He slowly started to brush his teeth once again, before gurgling his mouth in some mouth wash, before spitting out and then starting to clean the toilet.. again. He felt so tired that he had to yawn a little, before suddenly hearing his own phone go off, with mad alarts. He slowly got out of the bedroom, now with the shirt in his hand, but in front of him, clearly embarassed if Chance should see him like this. He turned the corner and stopped for a second, seeing Chance laying there.. without a shirt, made his heart skip a beat, so he had to turn as if he had forgotten something in the bathroom, but instead he just stood up against the door, biting a little into his lowerlip, while having closed eyes and gently pressing the back of his head against the wall.

He opened his eyes and let his lower lip go, before he walked out into the room again without looking over at Chance, before turning his back to him, finding a grey shirt, before he took it on. It was a little tight, so it showed his bodys form a little more clearly than normally. Then he walked over to the bed before sitting down and then looked at his phone. When he saw the pictures, he instantly dropped the phone, before seeing over at Chance.. At first he didnt know what to say.. so he just picked up his phone again, feeling his heart being torn into little pieces, before looking over at Chance again. " Have you seen them.. ". He felt like he wanted to ask him.. ask if it was true, if that was why him and Echo had broken up, but no.

He turned around, before quickly taking a white hoodie over himself, before he took his phone into his pocket and then walked over to the door. When he got outside of the door, he started to bang on peoples doors, before bargain inside, taking their phones, deleting the pictures one by one. " Delete them!. Delete all of them! ". He sounded mad, the first time ever, someone had actually heard Nickie yell. He looked at them, before running down the stairs quickly pulling anyone and everyone aside, asking if they knew anything, if they knew the number it was from, and also asking to see people deleted the photo of Chance. Chance was not out, and now he was most certain. CHANCE WAS INTO MEN.. but he didnt know why he hadnt said anything, why would he lie to him like that?. He felt his heart, still pulling and ripping, but more so.. he felt for Chance. Finally he felt like he had been through most people, before coming up to the room again. " I got most of them deleted.. but i think there is still.. maybe 7 more that have them.. and i cant find them ". He looked at Chance with an apologetic expression, as if it was his fault. " Do you know who it could be ". He had deleted the pictures himself also.

Chance couldn’t believe this was happening. Who would do something like that? It was just cruel to out anyone like that, wasn’t it? He wanted the chance to do it in his own time, when he was ready. He had been pushed out the closet and was forced to get used to the light. He shortly looked up when Nickie came out. What would he think? Would he despise him because of how he had behaved? He wouldn’t blame him if he did. He looked away when Nickie picked up his phone. He couldn’t watch his reaction. It would just hurt too much. He gave a slight nod when he asked his question. He looked after him as he went out of the door. He could only guess what he was going to do.

He looked at his own phone when it vibrated again. He dreaded picking it up, but he did anyway. And regretted it right away. It was his mom. He took the call. ”Maman…” He didn’t get a chance to say much before she started talking, or yelling in French. He just listened to her telling him why it was wrong, why he was going to end in hell, how disgusting she thought it was, how disgusting she thought he was. And then ended with the worst of it all. It felt like a kick to the stomach, making it difficult for him to breath.

He stood up and put on the shirt and began taking his things of the walls. He knew what was going to happen. He would have to move again. He didn’t care about having to leave Gaia or the school. What mattered to him was having to leave Nickie. He just knew his life would be much less colorful without him in his life. ”It doesn’t matter,” he said, his voices affected by the sadness roaming inside him. He just continued to get his things, laying them on the bed. He finally turned around, his eyes blank. ”I don’t care. I won’t be here long.” He looked at Nickie shortly before looking away. ”My mom she doesn’t want me to be… You know. She already moved me away once before… She might do so again.”

Nickie looked at Chance, not really knowing what to say or do, as he started to pack his things. " What are you doing? ". He looked at him with a hurt expression, before saying " No, you.. you cant leave ". He could hear it, how sad he were, making him even more hurt, from seeing Chance so down. * Is he going to leave?. No he cant leave, i cant let him *. He could feel it all over his body, how it tingled inside of him, how he wanted to just hold him again like in the train when he was about to go. " Please tell me, why.. is it me, is it the outing?. Chance i dont mind you being.. i.. i dont mind you lying to me, i dont care, please stay ".

He gently took a hold around Chance´s right wrist, before taking a step towards him, so he now stood in front of Chance and his stuff. " Tell me what´s going on please, why would she move you away ". He had never tried to get any judgement from his mother, so something like that.. was just beyond his imagination, that a mother would hate one, for something that was impossible to control or even was in ones control, cause it wasnt. " No, i wont let her. Stay here, dont go.. if she wants to talk with you, then please let me be there.. dont just give up ". He squeezed a little around Chance´s wrist this time while looking down, as if he said.. dont give up on us.

He knew deep inside himself that there werent any them, but he hoped, or he had hoped.. a little tiny glimmer of hope, when Chance had taken Echo´s poster down, but now?, what was he to do. He didnt want to think about who the other boy where, or even if it was recently.. he didnt actually care for all of that right now. " Your friends are here, we are your family too. Stay ".

Chance didn’t want to leave. He had already done that once. He had left everything behind to satisfy his mother. He didn’t want to have to do so again. ”I don’t have a choice.” He really didn’t know what else to do. He couldn’t just leave his mother, could he? She would have nobody then. He swallowed when Nickie kept talking. ”You should care. I’ve not treated you like you deserve. You deserve somebody who will. Somebody like Luca.” He hated saying that name.

He looked at Nickie when he stepped in between him and the things after having grabbed his wrist. ”Because she knows.” He wasn’t sure he could say it out loud just yet, but just like Echo, she saw straight through him. She saw his feelings for Nickie. ”She’s my mom Nickie. I can’t just leave her.” He felt the squeeze of his wrist, letting him express something unsaid. Express that by leaving, he wouldn’t just leave the school, he would leave Nickie. That was what killed him.

Chance had never asked Nickie to, but he had hoped she would wait, that he would wait until he was ready. Now he didn’t have a choice. He had to face it head on. He shook his head when he spoke of friends. ”Except I don’t.” He looked away. ”I have my mom and Echo and…” He looked back at him. ”And you, I hoped.” He looked down at their joint hands. ”Now that I’ve broken up with Echo and you are with Luca, I don’t have anyone but her. I can’t stay here.” He gently removed himself from Nickie’s grip. He both wanted Nickie and in his life and then not. Because if he was with somebody else, he would feel like dying every time he saw Nickie with that person. His heart would break all over again. He couldn’t live through that without breaking himself.

Nickie looked at him with a confused expression. " Who said anything about you leaving her?. From what i hear, she doesnt even love the real you, the you i see. You are denying your VERY OWN BEING, just by packing now, by going by HER NEEDS her RULES. Yes she is your mother, but blood doesnt automatically stampe one as a mom. She should love you unconditionally! ". He looked at Chance for the first time with a serious expression in his spring green eyes, as if a storm had erupted. He raised his brow a little, slowly letting his wrist go, when he said that he had hoped he had him. " You have.. ". He tilted his head a little and leaned closer against Chance, before starring into his eyes with his. " Me and Luca are not together Chance. Yes he is my mate and yes i cant.. control myself in a proper way near him, but.. i fight that, because thats NOT me.. thats SOMETHING else, someone have choosen for me.. and i WONT give in to it ".

He didnt know what else to say, at he gently took a hold at Chance´s wrist again, only to feel him gently removing himself from his grib. " So are you gonna run all your life, drag innocent girls along the way, even tho you are into guys. Are you gonna deny who you are, parts of who you are at least.. just for the sake of your MOM´s happiness?, even tho she should love you uncontidionally ". He looked at Chance with a stern face, before saying " You are right. You had me.. but if you are gonna run away and be a coward, then i didnt know you at all. The Chance i have gotten to know, is someone who would follow his own rules, who wouldnt take shit from anyone, not even his mom ". He walked over to the door, stopping in front of it, before holding his hand at the doorhandle. He turned around and parted his lips, looking at Chance now with tears in his eyes, before trying to say something, but as he tried.. a tear slowly ran down his cheek, just a single one. * Say something anything.. *. He couldnt, this was the worst day of his life. He looked one last time at Chance. " I wish.. i wish you would stand up to your mother! ".

He turned around before storming out the room, running down the stairs with his phone in his hand, almost pumping into people " S-Sorry ". As he ran, he felt the tears stream down his cheeks, before closing his eyes for a moment. He ran out the school and across the big courtyard, towards the track field and then the forest. He couldnt take it, the pain inside.. why would he just LEAVE like that.. why couldnt he understand ANYTHING!.

He stopped as he finally reached the forest, feeling the tree branches cut open his delicate skin on his face, as he just ran all he could in his white hoodie and the black pants.. no shoes.. only socsk.. before stopping when he had reached far enough inside, before falling to his knees, making leafs fly up a bit from the ground, before feeling his knees press against the soft ground under him, leaning backwards on his feet, before crying out " Aaaaaaarrrhhhhhhhhhgggghhh!!! ", so loud that even the black greyish crows around, started to scatter into the air, as they screamed with him, while the tears streamed down his cheeks, uncontrollable. He had never felt such intense pain in his entire life.

He slowly leaned forward a little, almost crumbling into himself, in something that looked like a fetus postion almost, while gasping for air, that didnt quite want to get into his lunges. " aaahhhaaaa.. gghhhuu... ". Sorrowful cryies filled the forest, as Nickie crumbled into himself, unable to stop shaking from the devastating pain he felt inside. It was soul crushing.... he couldnt breath.. he couldnt think, he could only feel, and feeling right now.. meant feeling like dying from the inside and out.

Chance just blinked after his speech. He was right, but how could he leave her? He loved her, and for a long time she was all he had. He just looked at him, saw how the green eyes were no longer peaceful but chaotic and wired. He was surprised when he said he was not going to give into all this mating stuff, that he was fighting it. It was clear the two had very different childhoods. Chance had been expected to follow, to never go against your superiors. He had never had a chance to stand up for himself. ”I don’t…” He wasn’t sure what he could say. No matter what, it would not be something to satisfy everyone.

”No. I won’t let this affect anyone else.” He didn’t expect Nickie to understand, because it sounded like his mother did love him unconditionally. ”So would you just cut your mother out of your life like that?” He made a snap with his fingers. ”I’ve been living a lie for years now. It’s easy to act like you don’t take any shit when you’re lying to everyone.” He looked at him when he walked to the door. He was ready to go and embrace him when he saw the tears in his eyes. But then he said something, that made him take a step back. He felt like an invisible force had pushed into him. He was about to follow him, but it felt like he was stuck in his place, like cement had formed around his feet and he was not able do anything but stand. But he wanted to follow Nickie! He felt a shiver go down his spine, like something cold was gliding down his back.

He gave up. He was not going anywhere. He had a feeling Nickie might have cursed him with accident or something like that. Then the door was opened, and he expected Nickie had returned. Instead, his mother came into the room. She looked at him with an unsatisfied look in her eyes. ”Chance…” She started. He stood his ground. ”No, shut up.” She looked taken aback. Her face softened. He continued the rest of the conversation in French to make sure she understood. ”This is who I am. I hoped you would accept that, but if you can’t, you can’t be in my life. I’ll lose my mother and that will kill me, but I will also lose somebody hateful, my worst critic. I will never miss that part of you. So go ahead and tell me how wrong I am for following my heart, and I will tell you how wrong you are for not letting me. You’re supposed to teach me to be who I am, not let me hide such a big part of my identity to satisfy anyone, least of all you.” She moved forward towards him. He knew what was going to happen. It had happened once - just once. It had shocked him then, it wouldn’t now. His head turned to the side when her hand collided with his cheek. He felt released. He could finally move again.

He looked at her and took a step forward. ”You can’t beat it out of me. Just go. You’re not welcome here until you can accept who I am.” He went to the table and got his sketch book. He left her without looking at back. He asked around to find out where Nickie had gone. He was eventually pointed to the forest. He went there and searched around until finding him in the floor of the forest. ”Nickie…” He said softly as he moved closer to him. ”I’m sorry.” He looked at the sketch book, opening the unfinished drawing of him from earlier.

He felt like all air was punched out of him. Was this the feeling some witches would get, whenever they lost their mate bond, or maybe when they got rejected. He couldnt even imagine the pain, but then again he could, cause he felt like dying, right then and there, even if it was dramatic, even for him.. but he couldnt help it. He was so in love with Chance, in him as a person, in the memories they had shared, he didnt care what kind of creature or non creature he was, he just wanted to be near him, and now he would be gone, gone from his life. Some time had passed as he just sat there on his legs, bend and on his knees, leaning forward, almost in a praying postion, before he finally felt like he could get air into his lunges. He felt like running away, like drowning in the lake again, wrapt around in a comforting blanket of water, not thinking about anything or feel anyone not. He didnt want to die, just.. feel something, anything other than the excruciating pain that soured through him right now.

As he heard his name, he looked up with puffy eyes, with a hue of red to them and wet cheeks. He gave a little snif from him, as he took his shirts sleeve up to his nose to wipe it, or more like make sure that there wasnt anything, before looking at Chance. He gently tucked into himself again, before the low young voice broke the silence. " No dont. Just go ". He couldnt look at him, it would hurt too much to look at him, to look into those beautiful misty eyes, feeling like he would get lost in them, like someone walking into a mist.. and never reappearing again. He held his hands a little over his head, as he tried to almost turtle into himself even more than before, cause in there, it was only him, his feelings, his thoughts.. he knew he should relax a little with his emotions, but he had always been a very emotional bounding person. He just continued to be a little ball of unhappiness and emotions, before slowly rolling out if his comfort, before looking at Chance with a vulnerable look. " Shouldnt you GO. Dont you have anywhere to run off to ". He didnt say the words in a hurtful tone or manner, they sounded more like a question.. than any.

Suddenly his phone started to vibrate, as he looked down at it, before hearing the little happy tone. He looked at the screen as he said. " I.. i have to go, i have work ". He dropped his phone, as he was about to get up, with legs shaking like crazy, before reaching for his phone to take it into his pocket.

Chance had a hard time coming to terms with what had just happened. He had turned away his own mother, he had told her he wouldn’t want her unless she accepted all of him. And now he felt lost, like he was drifting off to sea after having lost the only threat keeping him connected to the land had broken. And now the waves were rushing over him, threatening to pull him under. He was desperate. He just didn’t want to be alone right now. He had to find Nickie. He had said he had him, so hopefully that was still true. Otherwise he wouldn’t know what to do.

He felt it like a blow to the stomach when Nickie asked him to go. So he didn’t have him anymore. He really was all alone. He had pushed Nickie away, his mom and Echo too. He looked away from him. He didn’t know if he should just go, or if he should try and fight. He just felt so tired. A single tear ran down his cheek, burning as it moved past the slightly red mark his mother had left after the slap. He angrily dried the tear off. He didn’t want to be this person; someone people took pity of. He just wanted to be happy. But he wasn’t, and he really just wanted to be. He lifted his gaze to meet the vulnerable one from Nickie. His words might not be meant in a hurtful way, but that was how they were perceived. He was sure he had blown it with Nickie, that he just wanted him to go. He didn’t say anything. He just looked away. When Nickie then said he had to work. ”Okay… See you later.” He looked at him shortly, before leaving him to his work. He shouldn’t miss it because of him.

| Time jump to after Nickie’s shift |

If Nickie returned to the room, he would see that Chance had put his things back on its rightful place. But he was not there. He had colored his drawing from earlier and placed it on Nickie’s pillow. Chance himself was sitting in a common room not far from the dorm. He just needed a place away from Nickie. He wasn’t sure how to face him right now. He was sitting in the couch with his legs pulled up with under him. His arms were locked around his knees. He had a hoodie on and it was pulled up around his face. His eyes were slightly red from the tears that had made lines down his face. He was clutching a note in his fist. His mom had one last message to him, making him feel even worse than ever. He felt abandoned, left behind.

As he walked away from there, he felt a gut wreching feeling inside of him, seeing the tear trail down Chance's cheek.. how vulnerable he looked, what had happened to him, had his mom been there?.. did she hit him?. All kinds of thoughts ran through his head, as he walked to the room, before he found his work clothes and then changed into it, before going down to his bicycle. He got up on it and started to paddle, before stopping not long from the school.. he got off and then just looked at the road in front of him. NO... he had choosen Luca at that time, but Chance had come for him, at that time.. hadnt he?. He looked at behind him before taking the phone and then rang up his work, before he turned around and took his bike, parked it when he came to the school, before running inside, with his white hoodie over the work clothing. He looked at their room, seeing it empty left a heavy feeling inside of him, before he saw the paper on his pillow. He slowly walked over to it, before looking down at it. He blushed a little while holding it in his hands, before he turned around and walked around the school asking people, before finally finding him.

When he saw him, he felt like the biggest asshole ever. He looked at him a little, before walking over to him, still with the paper in his hand. He gently sat down at his side before looking down at it. " Chance.. i. I'm the one that should say sorry, i.. acted without thinking and i'm sorry for that ". . It hurted him so badly to see Chance's eyes.. and him clutching a note. He gently let his arms slide around him, before just holding him.. if he would let him. He looking at him with such a gentle look, before he said almost in a whisper. " You have me, always.. ". slowly he found his phone, before finding his photo album, with different things like flowers, trees.. the ocean.. a new picture of Chance.. one from a time he had seen him up in a window, how beautiful he looked, with a rainbow light almost touching the window. He gently laid it it on his own lap, besides the picture, before saying. " i know you say.. that you dont like guys, and maybe the kiss at that time was.. out of spite for your mother, but i.. i have.. i.. i know you dont like me as much, but i would hope that.. maybe we could hang out some more.. and if.. if you need a place to crash.. then.. then my home will always be open for you, even if just for escape or eternaty.. ". He felt stupid for a moment.. why couldnt he just say his feelings.. but this should be enough for now. " what happened.. when i left.. if you want to share of course ".

Chance didn’t blame Nickie for walking away. He had been a real asshole to him. It was not because he didn’t like him, even though it might look like that. It was the exact opposite. After that few days they spent together in the summer, after they shared their first kiss, his mother had found the drawing of him. She had made it very clear that Chance couldn’t see him again, that she would force him away again and he would have to start over again. Without Nickie. And somehow that made it clear what he had to do. He needed to make him think he didn’t care, that he wasn’t into him. And every time he did anything to push Nickie further away, he felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. It was just even worse the further along he got. At first, he cared for Nickie, he liked him. But it didn’t even take a full month for Chance to fall in love with him. And that was went it hurt, when he hated himself for treating him like he had. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to correct it, if he would ever have a chance to make it right with Nickie.

He shortly looked up when somebody entered, but quickly looked away again, drying away any leftover tears on his cheeks. He didn’t know what to say when he apologized. Had either of them really done anything wrong? They just did what they thought was best. He didn’t move when he put his arms around him. He was still trying to figure everything out. Right until he whispered that he had him. Then, he sniffled shortly. He looked at the phone at the pictures he had taken. When he stopped at a picture of him. He leaned forward a little to look closer at it. He was amazing at taking a picture at just the right time. He leaned back and looked at him from the corner of his eyes when he spoke about not liking him. That was practically the only thing he gathered from those sentences. And then that he invited him to stay at his house. He tried to figure out what to say. Before he had another chance to think, Nickie wanted to know what happened with his mother.

”In short, I told her that she had to accept me otherwise I didn’t want her in my life.” He opened his fist and revealed a crumbled up piece of paper. French words were scribbled on them. ”It says she’s moving away. No address, not even a goodbye.” He teared up again, but just shook his head and wiped away the tears again. ”I know you think I don’t like you…” He swallowed and looked into his hand playing with the edge of his pants. ”I think…” He wasn’t how to say it, or if he even should. ”I think I’m in love with you,” he said before he lost the courage. He didn’t look at him. He couldn’t. He lifted his hand in cast. ”I didn’t get this because of some stupid game like I told everyone. After seeing with you Luca I just couldn’t deal. I punched a wall.” He took in a sharp breath and tuned his head to him. ”I’m not saying this because I expect you to feel the same. It’s okay if you don’t. I just need for you to understand I never did all these things because I disliked you. It was the opposite. My mom found the drawing I made of you that first day and she didn’t want me to see you. I was afraid she would force me away again if we hung out. So I pushed you away.” It was stupid and he would wish he could go back and change it.

He gently layed his head to rest on Chance´s shoulder, still hugging him tightly, before he let a hand glide down to his pocket to find the picture on his phone, so he could show it to Chance, as he had shown him the drawing of him. He didnt know what it meant, or more he didnt even dare to think that way, since it would only hurt in the end, since Chance wasnt into boys, but then again.. the picture of Chance and the boy, and him in the summer. He didnt know quite what to make of all of it, but he also knew, that it didnt matter for now, as he wanted to just be there for Chance. He didnt smile, for the first time in a long time near Chance, since he didnt see anything to smile at, as it hurted his heart and soul so much to look at the broken down Chance in front of him.

He listened very closely at Chance´s words, gave him all of his attention and care. He looked at the crumbled note, only recognising some of the text but not much, before hearing what it meant. " C-Chance i.. i´m so sorry ". He looked down, almost feeling the blame wash over him, the guilt. Was he at fault for splitting Chance´s family. " Whats gonna happen to you then? ". He thought for a little while, before saying. " I will pay for your stay, i can do it. I have worked quite alot of money up, and i have two jobs.. and i´m sure if we speak with the headmaster, that something can be done ". He reached for Chance´s hand, to gently squeeze it, where the note was. He let go of his hand, as he saw it starting to play at the edge of Chance´s own pants, which made him look a little to the side, as to not stare directly at his crotch.. feeling the heat in his cheeks slowly rise, before he heard the words.

He looked at Chance almost immidiately, his expression clearly showed his surprise, but also how stunned he was from Chance´s words, as he had not exspected this at all. He looked at the cast, before hearing Chance´s words. He could feel his heart almost flutter, as he got brigt red in the head, looking at Chance and then at the picture. It made more sense now, no.. everything did. He had always tried not to look at it like that, since the words in the train, the almost bullying and then again not. He didnt know how to reacht, if he could even say the words. * i have been in love with you, from the very first moment i layed my eyes on you *. He couldnt get a word out of his mouth, he was truely speechless. He leaned forward, before almost pushing Chance down with him in the couch, with him over Chance, hugging him tightly, trying to hide his flustered face, as he didnt know what to say. He wasnt in love with him, but he thought. " B-But you are not into.. guys ".

He knew that not taking the picture had spiked everything on their journey to here, but.. where would they end up now?. " What.. about the guy on the photos.. are you dating.. him, is that why you broke up with Echo? ". He had heard her name before from some of the other students. He looked at him for a little moment, not knowing what to do now. " C-Chance i.. i want you to come live with me and my mom. I wont take no for an answer ". He looked at him with mature and determined eyes, almost shining green, as when the sun shined through green leaf´s in the summer wind. He gently held his arms at each side of Chance´s head, looking into his. " Please say yes ".