One last try - James (TW + CW)

Spencer maybe didn’t understand why it was such a big deal. He tried to respect what James was feeling. He didn’t want him to think his feelings weren’t important to him. But he slept with someone too, so why was it worse what Spencer had done? He couldn’t see it, but he was not going to say that right now. They finally seemed to get along after a long day with confrontations and conflicts. They needed time to be okay, to not be forced to deal with anything bad.
Spencer looked at him when he pulled out of the kiss very quickly. He didn’t understand why he didn’t want to kiss him. Was it because he had kissed somebody else? He shook his head when he spoke. ”It’s fine. I get it.” He didn’t, but he didn’t need them to talk more about it. ”Just misread the situation.”

He stayed in his place when James went over to sit on the bed. He ended up looking at his feet, moving them slightly across the floor. He looked up when James’ feet were the too. He stood in the hug but didn’t return it. He eventually took a step out of the hug. ”Just gonna go make sure Kenna is on her way.” He needed time. He could give him time. He took a few steps towards the door but then turned around. ”I don’t get it, actually. You fucked somebody too, so why am I the bad guy here?” He looked down again. ”But maybe it’s not about that. Maybe it’s about me and all this crap I carry around. Maybe I am just too fucked up.” He tried to keep the tears away, but he really felt like he was being rejected. Even if James was saying he wasn’t. ”Actually, don’t worry about it. You need time. I’ll respect it.” He took the last few steps to the door. He didn’t want James to feel like he had to do something he didn’t want to. And he was afraid that would happen if he felt guilty enough.

He held him into a tight embrace, but the cold feeling of it not being returned, hit him like a wall. He had done the exact same thing to Spencer just a few seconds ago with the kiss, and now this?. He looked down at him, when he took a step out of his hug. His arms sliding back to where they were before the hug. He put his hands in his own pocket´s looking at him with a raised brow, not knowing if he should say anything or not at this point. He felt the words hit him hard, before slightly separating his lips, as if he tried to speak, but no words came out.

He could almost see the struggle inside of Spencer and he knew it wasnt fair of him, to put this kind of pressure on his shoulders, but something inside of him, just clicked. " Stop always feeling sorry for yourself!. Like you are the only one dealing with a fucked up life!. And yes i fucked someone, but i tried to find you!, i tried so hard to get into contact with you, but you didnt even seek me out, you left me... ". He snapped at him, it was the first time ever, that he had actually raised his voice at him.

He looked at him, stunned from his own words, as if he had almost just stabbed him. He didnt know how to react, before looking down at his feet, not knowing if he should say more. He looked around a little, before shaking his head, feeling a tear pressing on. He quickly removed it, before saying. " I need some air ". He walked over to the wall, before pulling the red string, so a nurse would come to the room. After that, he walked towards the door, if he didnt stop him, he would just walk past him without looking at him, before opening the door, so he could take the staircase up to the top of the building and get some fresh air, even if he didnt need it. He felt so fucking bad inside, like he could not believe what he had just said, but the words were right.. he had felt so lonely.. so trashed.. as if he was nothing in Spencer´s eyes.

Spencer felt like they were walking around in a circle, constantly shifting between being okay and not. He didn’t know how to fix it. He just felt so helpless. He needed someone to throw him a goddamn lifeline, to give him something that made him feel like he wasn’t drowning. He thought James had been that too him, but now he wasn’t so sure anymore. Most people just seemed to pull him further down into the water. James had done the opposite to him. He had finally gotten him air again. Now he didn’t. Spencer didn’t know what it meant.

Spencer took a step back when he raised his voice with him. He saw the one thing he never wanted to see when looking at James; His dad. He barely heard the words spoken, just the tone. He was actually expecting to feel pain when James passed him. He felt paralyzed. He wanted to stop him, to tell him that he didn’t mean it, but he was just frozen in place. It wasn’t until the door closed behind James, he reacted. He covered his mouth, his hand trembling a little. His eyes were growing red and blank from the tears. He didn’t even care about swallowing them right now.

The door opened and he wiped his face looking at the nurse who came into the room. ”I’m okay.” The nurse walked closer to him. ”Are you sure, Sir?” Spencer took in a deep breath. ”I’m fine. Just get the fuck out!” He yelled at her, and she quickly moved out of the room. He didn’t mean to. He leaned against a wall and slid down it until he was sitting on the floor.

Kenna had noticed James on his way to the stairs when she came back with the food and drinks. She asked a nurse to bring it to Spencer, before she followed James to the roof. She understood what it was like to be in Spencer’s life. Even if it had never been as more than friends, she knew how difficult it could be. She wanted to make sure James was okay - and also that he was not planning on leaving Spencer. She wasn’t sure he could take it. She gentle knocked on the door, before going out there. ”Are you okay?” She didn’t know James that well, and didn’t want to seem to pushy or familiar. If he didn’t want to talk, she was not going to push him. But she might still say what was on her mind.

It felt like walking on needles, when he passed Spencer, not hearing him saying stop, or even trying to, like he had been right all along, that he didnt fight for him. Would his life be like this with him, always fighting for Spencer, but him never fighting for him?.. if he stayed. He didnt know how to manage all of the emotions he had inside of him. Maybe he wasnt as fucked up as Spencer, but he had been broken beyond repair almost, so of course he had snapped, or.. was he wrong in doing so?. He felt like his head was just one big ball of fuzzy sounds, like a scratching record, nothing but noise filled his head right now, while feeling pain spreading from his heard to his head.

He closed the door after him, before stopping for a second, feeling the door against his back, looking over his shoulder to the door, feeling his eyes water. He closed them for a moment, before pressing his lips into a small line, before taking a step to the side, walking as fast as he could over to the staircase, with his hands in his pockets. He opened the door, before almost jumping up every step, until he reached the roof, opening the door and being met by a bright shine, from the sun starting to go down. It first now hit him.. that he didnt even know what the hell the time even was or had been, like they had just been in a loop of feelings, a prison of their own making almost.

He walked over to the airduct, before punching into it, almost as hard as he could. His hand instantly breaking a bone inside, before feeling the metal give in after the hit, making a big dent in it. He looked at it for a moment, where some blood was left, before his hand started to heal. He fell unto his knees, before covering his face, feeling the tears starting to run down his face, sobbing, before screaming down into them. How could he be so stupid, to yell at him like that, to use that tone of voice... those words. He slowly removed his hands when getting the scent of someone else, before he looked behind him, seeing Kenna stand there, hearing her words. He slowly got up, before looking away from her, trying to remove the blood that was now on his face. " Y-Yes, im.. ". He stopped in his words, before just shaking his head.

He felt so gulity still.. about everything, but also so unwanted.. as if he had caused Spencer not to be happy, to feel such strong emotions.. hurting himself.. how could he ever make him happy?. He looked at Kenna for a moment, before turning his back to her, starting to walk towards the edge, before sitting down, right with his feet hanging over the edge. He looked at the people under him, before saying with a low voice. " I raised my voice at him.. i.. i am at fault for him hurting himself earlier.. and also for him almost dying. He should never had come for me ". His hands where trembling, and his voice was breaking shortly in his sentences. He removed a tear, before leaning backwards, looking up into the orange purple sky, with a blue tint to it, and birds flying in formation over the skye, making their sweet sounds, almost like sweet music for his ears. He felt the wind caress his skin, feeling how he breathed in, even when he didnt even need it. " I dont know if i can make him happy.. i fucked up.. and i never.. i never meant to fall in love with him, but i did.. i.. i love him ".

Spencer got a lot of ideas of things he could do to somehow relief the pain he was feeling. But he didn’t. He couldn’t make anyone else see him like that. Instead he just laid down in one the beds, hiding himself away from the rest of the world, crying softly.

Kenna looked over at the airduct that had served as a frustration relief for James. She had experienced that plenty for times. It was better he did on inanimate objects than on people. He wasn’t okay. Everything made that very clear. Not that she couldn’t sense it. She had not learned to control her ability yet - but feeling what others were feeling was sometimes useful. She knew how strongly James felt for Spencer and the other way around. The two were just having a hard time finding a common ground, figure out what to do before they could be together. She looked around when he turned his back on her. She wasn’t sure what to say. It was always difficult knowing that with a new person. She knew what she would say if it was Spencer or Ellery or Nathaniel sitting here. But not James. He was a stranger to her, but someone who deserved someone to lean on, nevertheless. Spencer couldn’t be that right now. He had his own things to sort through. Kenna would happily be a helping hand to them both. She smiled shortly when she took in the sounds of nature. She walked closer to him and sat down next to him.

She listened to him explain. He reminded her so much of Spencer in that way; always blaming themselves. ”Spencer does that too. He is so quick to blame himself for everything. I’m sorry, but this is not because of you. He didn’t hurt himself because of you. I think he didn’t because he didn’t know how else to cope. It’s the same with drugs. He’s a self-molester. He can’t function if he is not a little broken. It may have something to do with whatever diagnosis he has.” She saw his trembling hands and gently put her hands around them to make them still. ”If you blame yourself for everything he does, you can’t stay in his life. You will go crazy. It’s hard, it is. But it’s also worth it. He is so funny and kind. He would never not come for you. He has done the same for me.” She let go of her hands and placed them on the edge. She nodded when he said he loved him, like if she already knew. She did in a way.

”We don’t chose who we fall in love with.” She looked at him. ”I know you can. I’m not trying to pressure you, but he can be happy with you. He can be happier than ever and completely devastated by you. That’s what it’s like to love someone. But it’s worse for him, I think. I saw it once. He was not in love then, but when their fling ended, he would just shut down. He became a completely different person. Almost like he was depressed.” She shook her head. ”I understand if you need some time for yourself. That is completely fair, and I think he get’s that too.” She stood up and put a hand on his shoulder. ”Take the time you need. When you’re ready, come back down. We’ll wait for you.” She needed to get him help soon. She didn’t have time for him to choose somebody. She was worried he was going to talk himself out of it. She walked towards the door before turning around. ”He loves you too, you know. I know he opened up to you. He hasn’t done that to me.” She then walked down to check on Spencer, hoping James would come soon.

She placed herself on the edge of his bed, stroking Spencer’s body calmly. He sprung forward from the blanket and put his arms around her so quickly, Kenna nearly lost her balance. She put her arms around him too, shushing softly into his ear.

He looked at her with a soft look in them, but it was so very obvious, that he was so broken from everything, and not getting any sleep on it, or even a break from all the thoughts, just stressed him even more. He felt her hands on his, looking at her a little. He let it slide for now, the thing she had mentioned with diagnosis. He wanted those words to come from Spencer´s own lips, or hers, if she felt like sharing it at one time, in a more indept conversation, but right now, he didnt feel like asking into it. He just sat there, listening to her, carefully letting go of his emotions and trying to see it from Spencer´s side of it all. He could feel the heavy burden, the 'stone' that had layed, suddenly being lifted a little, especially when he turned towards her, when she got up, before saying that he loved him too, and that he hadnt opened up for her, but he had done it for him.

He covered his face with his hands, before laying down into the rubble of stones underneath him.. feeling their prickle against his neck, and the back of him. He looked up, into the clear sky, feeling like he couldnt move from the spot. It was beautiful up here, and for a moment, he thought about staying, maybe forever. He suddenly felt his phone in his pocket, how it began to vibrate. He still layed when he took it. " James King ". His voice deep as always, but more empty this time. A man in the other end could slightly be heard, before saying. " Mr. King.. We know that you are excused for most right now, after your accident, but we need you back in France ". He sigh for a moment, before covering his eyes, rubbing them in frustration, before letting a deep sigh slip out between his lips. " Not right now, i.. i will get back to you in a day or two ". He knew it was serious, he knew his responsabilities, but still.. right now, he wasnt ready to leave, no... not right now.

He hang up, before looking into the sky, after having talked for a little while. An hour must had been gone, because the sky was now dark and the weather had turned for a more cold brise, and stars was slowly starting to show. He got up, before lookig at his phone and then turning it off. He walked over to the door, before trying to remove most on his face, with a little lick to his hand, disgusting, but he had to do something, so people wouldnt look mortified at him. When he thought that he looked back to normal, except for some redness around his eyes, he walked back downstairs, before walking over to the room where Spencer was suppose to be inside. He gently knocked, before he pushed the door open a little and then walked in, closed it behind himself.

He felt like he couldnt look up at Spencer... Kenna he had no problem looking at, but Spencer.. he felt so badly for having almost yelled at him. " I´m sorry.. ". He walked with heavy steps towards Spencer. " I didnt mean to raise my voice at you, but i was just so frustrated, because.. i dont look at someone broken.. when i look at you. Make no mistake, i see your struggle, and your pain.. but.. i also see someone that is strong beyond his years, and someone with such an ironwill.. fighting to survive both himself and all the things around him, trying to drag him down ". He looked at Spencer this time, trying to get eye contact. " It dosent excuse my behavior, and i´m sorry for acting the way that i did. It hurted me so much, when i lost you, and then thought i lost you again.. i wont and cant lose you again Spencer ".

His eyes, before filled with regret and guilt, sorrow and sadness.. was now strong, filled with such intense piercing gaze, looking directly into Spencer´s. " Spencer Lane. I would like for us to start dating, if you want.. because i... i love you ". He had never actually said the words, not in this kind of way, not.. ever actually, but right now, he felt them.. he felt the determination.. and he couldnt hold back anymore.. if Spencer fucked up, then he just had to take it at that time, or even if he did himself.. but right now, this was the way he wanted to take.

Kenna didn’t mind talking about her struggles, not as much as Spencer, at least. The loss of her child was the hardest right now, but she was pulling through. It helped that she had someone who cared about her. She wanted the same for Spencer. She wasn’t sure if he had someone else besides James. She hoped so, she truly believed people’s lives would be better with him in. He was something unique, she felt. He was a mess, but a beautiful one of those. He had strength. Much more than her. She had been around someone abusive for a few years. Spencer had been in it all his lives. How he was not completely broken was a prove of strength.

Spencer sat with Kenna a while, before she sat down on the other bed and they talked. About the day, about James, about Nate. They went through a lot of different topics. He needed to vent, and that helped a lot. Even if it made him tear up a few times. He was feeling better, he really was. Without noticing, the sun had gone down and left complete darkness in its stead. He looked to the door when James knocked before slipping inside. He wasn’t looking at him again, but it made more sense why this time. He had trouble looking at him as well. He listened to his apology. He didn’t feel like that person he described, but that he saw him that way made his heart flutter. Even more so when he admitted he never wanted to loose him again. His eyes had changed. They were the ones he had fallen in love with. Even if he hadn’t quite admitted that to himself, that was what had happened. He had fallen in love with a vampire and a movie star. How surreal.

He held his breath when he said it. He loved him? He could hardly understand those words were meant for him. He couldn’t contain a smile. He stood up and walked to him. ”I love you too.” He had to apologize too. He knew it, he was just over the moon of he words. ”I know it is not normal, that it’s a weird way to show it, but disappearing does actually mean I love you. I just want to be perfect for people. When I can’t be, I disappear until I can be again. I am working on it, but I don’t know how much time it’ll take.” He reached for James’ hand. Kenna was watching them with a smile. No way she was missing this. ”I’ll figure something out. There is no way I’m fucking us up.” He let go of his hand and instead threw his arms around him in hug.

//AAAAAAAA <3 <3 <3

He stood there, feeling like it was the longest seconds of his life ever. He didnt need to hear the words back, only that Spencer didnt hate him, or that he was welcome to stay for the night, or near him at all, after having raised his voice at him. He smiled a little, when he got down from the bed and walked towards him, hoping that it would end in a hug, and not a slap, even if he deserved one after his words. He was about to hold his arms out, before almost going completely still, with his eyes wide open, when he heard the words. He couldnt believe it.. it felt so surreal, so.. not possible?. He couldnt even say a word.. he just stood there, looking confused but also with a smile, so something completely goofy for a second, before straighting his back, when he took Spencer´s hand for a moment, before feeling his arms around him in a hug.

" Oh no you dont ". He didnt just want a hug, he wanted a fucking kiss!. He embraced Spencer, feeling his warmth against him, before stealing his lips, if he would let him. It felt so sweet, so innocent for a moment, before just completely losing himself. He had waited so long for this, holding people at an arms length, when it came to his emotions, and now.. he didnt have to, he had Spencer.. he could finally relax inside and on the outside, not push people away anymore, because he had found his someone, the person that gave him inner peace with himself, even if they were sometimes fucked up, or made mistakes.. he was certain, that he could forgive Spencer, for everything, as long as they could be together.

" I-I dont know what to say ". It was very rare for him to actually be this speachless, not coming with something clever to say or teasingly, or well.. anything other than what he had already said. He smiled to Kenna for a short moment, before gently stroking Spencer´s cheek, looking into his beautiful bluegreen eyes, that reminded him of jade itself, with a hint of the morning sky. He slowly leaned down to kiss his lips once more, only to feel the effects in his pants, which made him slightly blush, and stand in a very awkward pose, as to hide it. " I will never leave you.. never, so take all the time in the words you need, because i will always be by your side.. and this time, i wont let you leave ". He meant every single word he had said.


// So adorable! :3 <3

Spencer was admittedly hurt when James raised his voice. It was not because he did it. He would have reacted like that no matter who did it. That was something he had to work on as well. But right now, he just felt so incredibly lucky. He could hardly believe someone like James would want him. He was as close to perfect you could get, if you asked Spencer. He knew they would have to work on some things in regard to trust, but he would do it. He would do anything he could to make James as happy as he felt - hopefully it wouldn’t take much. Both parts of any kind of relationship should be equally happy, shouldn’t they? Otherwise, the relationship wasn’t worth it.

Spencer was not going to let anything stop him from kissing James. God how he had missed those plump lips. He had no idea before just now, how addictive everything about him was. Especially the lips. As they stood there, completely engaged in each other, he couldn’t help but feel everything was working out for him. He was dating an amazing guy and he had some great friends. Everything just seemed better now. He was ready to get help now, to do the work to feel like this most of the time. He was not overly optimistic. He hoped the help could… well help. He just didn’t expect all his days to be great or even good. Sometimes he was bound to have bad days.

”Then don’t say anything,” he suggested, feeling the gentle strokes across his cheek. He closed his eyes, leaning into the next kiss. ”Fuck, I’m gonna say it again. I love you.” he couldn’t stop looking at him. Kenna stood up and walked to them, she put a hand on Spencer’s upper arm. ”You guys are adorable.” She looked at James with a smile, before turning her head back to Spencer. ”I’ll look into the doctors. I’ll come by tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll text before I do.” She chuckled shortly, before going towards the door. She thought they wanted the privacy. ”Sleep tight. Don’t go fighting about who’s the big spoon,” she said teasingly, walking out the door and closing it behind her.

Spencer wouldn’t mind some time alone with James at all. Especially not after that. He managed to rip himself away from looking at James. He walked to the bed and attempted to lift one of them closing to the other. Fuck these were heavy. ”Here I was trying to show off, but these a impossible to move.” He took a step back, trying to come up with another solution. There was no way he was sleeping in the same room as James but not sharing a bed. No, he was going to fall asleep next to him.

//The cutest <3

He loved how Spencer´s lips felt against his, like the finest silk, so soft and sweet. His eyes revealed every little emotion inside him, but mostly how much he felt for him, how much he meant the world to him. He laughed a little, when he heard Spencer say that he loved him again, gently stroking his hair, before saying with his head tilted a little to the side. " I love you too ". When Kenna walked over to them, he looked at her briefly, before looking at Spencer again, with properly the biggest smile he had ever had on his plump lips.

He gave a short nod to Kenna when she smiled at him, before saying sleep tight. He couldnt hold a little chuckle back, when she said that they shouldnt fight about who got to be the big spoon. " Never. Spencer will always be little spoon ". He teasingly said, before holding around him with a firm but gentle grib. When he suddenly ripped himself out of his grib, he just looked at him like one big question mark, as he didnt know why?. He placed his hands pressed against each other, in front of his lips, trying to keep a little laugh back, when he looked at Spencer struggling to try and get their beds closer together, even when they couldnt get anymore close to each other.

He slowly stepped closer to the beds, before putting a hand underneath one of them, lifting it with ease, before moving it as close as it possibly could come, dragging the feet over the floor. He looked at Spencer for a moment, before shaking his head, slowly lowering the bed down again. " What about just.. sleeping closely, like in one bed maybe?.. or we could take the madresses down on the floor?, put them together, between the beds ". He looked at the beds for a little moment, before walking around them a little.

He didnt care if they were allowed, but he wanted it to be special for Spencer. " Wait here for a little moment ". He took his phone up, before walking out the door, talking with someone. He came back after the call and having talked with a nurse. She was first against his idea, but at the end she gave him an extra cover. When he came back, he stepped on the wheels lock, before moving the bed, so the madresses could lay between the beds. He locked the beds in place, so the madresses was close to each other.

He then took the sheet first underneath, then the beds and layed them as close as he could, then another sheet on top of the bed, så it almost became a little cave. He looked at Spencer shortly, before hearing it knock on the door. " Come in ". A man came inside with a bag with a laptop in it. James smiled, before taking it, and then giving the man some money. It was his manager, but he didnt ask why he needed it or why he was at the hospital, he just left again, after giving a smile and a nod til Spencer and James. James placed the laptop inside at the cave, before taking the pillows and then placing them, before crawling out. " So.. what do you think? ". He looked at him, waiting to hear what he thought.

Spencer felt like he was melting away underneath James’ touch. Finally, he felt like he had something to look forward to in his future, to all the thing he would do with James. He couldn’t wait to experience all the big and little things with him. He didn’t need a lot, he just needed someone to hold him when he was sad, laugh at his jokes, however horrible they were, and somebody to kiss him with such a passion, he knew right then and there that he was loved. James lived up to all of those. His voice saying those words just made his body feel so light, like he could float away any moment. Was this how it was like being in love?

Spencer nodded in agreement when James stated he was the little spoon. Looking at their body types, it just worked best that way. ”Who wouldn’t want to lay with these arms around you,” he put a hand on James’ upper arm. He watched him when he tried to not laugh at him. ”It’s not funny,” he said stomping his foot dramatically. He was not that dramatic. He usually didn’t get angry or make a scene of things. Today had been bad and dramatic, but that was not how he usually was.

Spencer watched him when narrowed eyes when he easily lifted the bed up, moving it closer to the other. ”Show off,” he said with a teasing smile. He thought about his suggestions, wondering which one was better. Before he had a chance to answer, he was told to wait while James made a phone call. He stood patiently, waiting for him to return. What was he doing? He looked at him as he was clearly setting something up, moving the beds around.

Spencer looked at the small cave James had created with the beds and sheet. He then looked over to the door when somebody knocked. Without saying anything, a man gave James a laptop, received some money and left again. He assumed he was just a deliveryman of some sort. He looked at the cave again. He smiled when James crawled out from the cave again. ”That you are sups adorable and hella cute,” he said impersonating an American teenage girl, flipping the long hair he didn’t have. He walked closer and placed himself inside the cave. ”It’s perfect,” he stated, placing himself in a comfortable position, laying on his stomach. ”How do you just know what I need?” He thought for a moment he might be able to read his mind like Tidus. Or maybe he was just really good at making people happy. You kind of had to be in the business he was in.

He had placed the laptop in the middle at the edge of the beds, so they could watch something while laying close to each other, on the stomach. He laughed when Spencer tried to impersonate an american teenage girl, doing a fine good job. " No you are ". He blinked to him, before crawling inside the cave to him, before turning on the laptop and then writing his password down. A beautiful screen came forward, before a little blue bug looking cat could be seen on the screen, as a bagground. He looked a little embarassed at Spencer, before clicking at the internet browser, opening it and then finding a site where he put the hospitals password in, as the lady had explained to him. He had also requested that they didnt come visiting now that he was there, except for if they pulled the red string. " No one is gonna come, except for if we pull the red string, by the way.. so you can relax now ". His voice was so gentle when he spoke to him this time, before finding netflix and opening it.

" Pick a movie you would like to watch ". Some of the movies involved himself, but he really hoped that Spencer wouldnt click on them, as he found them extremely embarassing. " And to your question.. i dont, but i do try ". He chuckled, before turning to Spencer, looking at him, reaching for him, before feeling his hair between his fingers, slowly moving down to his ear, and then the lower jaw line.. feeling it.. stroking down his neck, before looking at him, with his arms now folded underneath him and laying on his stomach. " I love looking at you. You have such a unique beauty.. ".

He could feel himself getting warm inside almost, how being near him, just let his whole body tense up, but also relax at the same time, it was such a weird feeling, but in a good way. He smiled a litttle, feeling himself grow between his legs, before he laid his arm around Spencer, pulling himself and him closer, so they ended up laying body against body. He let his nose slowly stroke against the side of Spencer´s head, at the hairline.. smelling him, getting his scent onto him again. He kissed him underneath his hairline at the ear, before slowly pulling a little away, so they could find a movie.

Spencer chuckled when James turned the compliment, or whatever you will call it, right back at him. Out of the of them, he was probably the cuter one. James was fucking hot and so goddamn sexy. He looked at the computer when he had put in his password. He turned to look at James to ask who the cat was, but when he saw the embarrassed look, he decided to not bring it up. He was entitled to keep things to himself if he so desired. ”Thank you,” he put his hand on James’ lower arm and gave it a squeeze. He looked through the selection of movies. ”How about that one? I hear James King is a pretty good actor,” he said with a joking smile, pointing to one of his movies, before looking further through the selection.

He felt the blood rushing to his cheeks giving them a slight red color by his words. ”Shut up,” he said and playfully pushed his shoulder. He had never been great at receiving compliments. If he couldn’t make a joke about it, he usually just blushed and tried to change the topic. ”How about American Psycho?” He looked at him, the blush slowly growing fainter.

Spencer leaned closer to him, feeling the cold skin against his, somehow it made him feel warmer. He couldn’t get enough of that feeling. He felt the slow stroke of his nose against his skin. He didn’t know why this changed his body so, making him feel so lustful for James. It was such an innocent act, made less so by the feelings it awoke in him. He felt the kiss long after he had pulled away. He cleared his throat, shortly looking at James from the corner of his eyes. How was he supposed to focus on a movie when James was so close to him? He tried to focus on picking a movie, but his heart wasn’t in it. He turned his head to him. ”I can’t focus,” he said before leaning in towards him, leaving a trail of kisses down his jaw.

James could always seem like a hardcore type of person, with everything in check, but he had his small fuzzy cute moments, like the cat on the screen called bugcat, a blue looking cat that looked like a bug, cleary from a comic, and a simple one at that. James laughed when Spencer OF COURSE had to point to one of his many movies, saying that he was a good actor. " Oh yes, i hear hes a real stud, but then you should see the one he is dating, hes a catch ". He laughed, before smiling to James, giving him a little nuggie in the hair, so it got messy. When Spencer said that he should shut up, he couldnt help but smile a little, before saying teasingly. " Make me ". He loved the playfully push to his shoulder.

He looked at the movie selection, before nodding. " American Psycho sounds great to me ". He smiled before clicking the video. Slowly it began, before his eyes traveled from the screen to Spencer, when he said that he couldnt focus, after having touched him from time to time. He rubbed his neck a little, before looking at him with an innocent look. " Sorry ". He couldnt help but smile over his face, before he felt the kisses, that made small enjoyable sigh escape his plump lips.. He leaned a little backwards, letting him get enough room and space, to place even more kisses unto his skin.

It felt like heaven to feel again. How he had missed the feeling of his sweet lips against him, against the silky skin.. how they traveled down his jaw, before he stole a kiss from Spencer´s lips, slightly moaning against them from the pure pleasure. He had to adjust his crotch for a moment, before looking at Spencer with his cheeks red again, blushing from embarassment, at how quickly he had began to grow from his touch. " We cant.. i cant control myself, if we keep going ". He could feel his entire body, how lustful he had already grown from just the small kisses.

Spencer was looking forward to seeing everything of James, to learn all the little things nobody knew. He didn’t know what the figure on his computer was - he could see it was a cat of some sort, but it was clearly animated. It was actually cute that something like that would be his background instead of a car or something like that. He smiled when they kept talking about themselves in the third person. ”I’ve seen him. They’re a great match, in my unbiased opinion.” He shook his head after James had made his hair messy, thinking that would maybe get it back in place. It didn’t. He bit down in his lip slightly. ”I might,” he stated.

Spencer contemplated starting the movie, but he couldn’t do it, before feeling James’ skin under his lips again. Spencer didn’t need an apology, it was just a fact, nothing to apologize for. Spencer continued the kisses every where he could. Those enjoyable sighs were so… There wasn’t even a word to describe them. He just knew he didn’t want to stop hearing them. He took his hand, entangling their fingers together.

Spencer sighed against his lips when he began a kiss. He wanted to be with James again, perhaps in a bed this time around. He could feel his body telling him in every way possible. The kiss ended and he just looked at James a moment. ”I don’t need control,” he stated. ”But we can wait, if you want.” He didn’t want James to feel like he needed to, because he didn’t. There should be more them than just that. He turned his head back to the computer, still holding his hand. He started the movie and did everything to not look at James, knowing he would not be able to control himself either if he did so.

He also knew they should talk at some point about their publicity of their relationship, him being famous and all that. He would be okay keeping it under wrap for a while if that was better for him and his career. Spencer had no reputation to think of, so he would gladly follow along with whatever James thought appropriate. He just needed to know what he could tell people and what he couldn’t. Kenna already knew, but she would keep them a secret if asked to.

The golden eyes looked at Spencer with such sweetness behind them, a gentle gaze following his every movement. Slowly he squeezed Spencer´s hands, fingers intertwined with each other. He was certain of it, that no matter what would happen forward between them both, that he would always stand at Spencer´s side, trying to catch him, trying to pull him out of the darkness, slowly swollowing him, but now.. he was there, locked.. some would properly call it insanity, but he called it happyness.. finally finding someone, that accepted him, that wanted him, that thought so highly of him, that he even wanted to protect him, against himself. He hoped sincerely, that Spencer knew, that he could never hurt him more than leaving his side, or this earth for that matter. He never wanted to see the expression again, the cold on his skin, how he looked so.. alone on the bed at that time.

He looked down for a moment, before looking at him again, with a tear traveling down his cheek, a small smile over his lips. He removed it quickly, before he said. " I dont wanna wait,not now.. not ever..  i feel like i have waited for a thousand years ". When Spencer turned towards the computer again, he layed himself against him, with an arm over him again, but this time, he catched his lips and wouldnt let go. He didnt care if he couldnt control himself, then they would have to DRAG him out from there, because he wasnt leaving this time, he never would. He didnt care about his obligations or about the family name or an heir, he didnt care for anything, he only cared to see Spencer happy, to live his life with him, seeing the world with him, trying new things together.

He kissed his lips with such greed, almost as if he was trying to devour him, which he almost did, as he let his tongue slip inside, between the cherry soft lips, so tender they were to his tongue´s skin. He wanted to danse with Spencer´s tongue, feel the roughness of them, and also taste him to the fullest. If he let him, he would push Spencer down unto his back, so he could lean over him, hold him a little down, but not as so he couldnt push against him or move, he wouldnt trap og hold him against his will. He still didnt exactly know where Spencer´s limit was in the sex department, but he also knew, that he didnt need to know yet, as they had all the time in the world to learn about each others body and also personality wise.

Spencer would never expect James to carry the relationship. Right now, Spencer would have some hard times ahead, but when he was in more control of his life, he would do anything in his power to help James if he needed it, even if he thought he didn’t. He would be there to hold his hand, to cover his back and then kiss him when everything was better. He didn’t care if somebody said he wasn’t ready or that he needed to slow down. He didn’t need to do shit. He knew where he wanted to be, where he needed to be to survive. It was right here, with James next to him.

Spencer didn’t want to wait either. He would be with James anywhere, anytime. He just had a feeling this would be different. Before it had been so lustful, so raw and sexual. But now they were dating, they had proclaimed their love for each other. It wasn’t just sex for him anymore. Every time he could be with James, would be another time showing just how much they loved each other. It was a way of saying it without having to do so verbally. He was not going to let anyone take James away from him. He was going to follow. He had no doubt about that.

The kiss was so deep, so greedy. It felt like James had been starving and he finally had a source of food. Spencer didn’t mind. He felt the tongue slipping past his lips, moving around with his tongue in such synchronized moves, it was like they had been practicing. He was push back on his back. He used his foot to close the computer down and pulled up in James’ shirt, feeling his toned stomach and chest underneath his curious fingers. He was growing in the sewing of his pants, showing James just how much, he wanted him. He didn’t know much about what he liked in regard to sex. He hadn’t tried much. He was willing to give most things a shot. He couldn’t know what he liked until he tried it, right? He had to end the kiss a moment to catch his breath. His chest was moving rapidly up and down a moment as if he had just been involved in physical activity. He was not supposed to pant like that already. He let a hand move to his collarbones, letting a hand move across James’ cold skin. He swallowed, looking into his golden eyes. How could he even expressed how much he loved that beautiful man on top of him, how much he lusted for him every single moment.

He let him pull his shirt up, before grabbing the shirt with one hand, pulling it over his head, and then throwing it away to the side, before leaning into the kiss again, stealing Spencer´s lips once more. It felt so good to finally feel them again, to finally be home where he belonged. He smiled a little as he broke the kiss, looking at how Spencer almost gasped for his dear life, to get air into the lungs again. He gently placed a hand over the heart of Spencer, feeling it beat underneath, like a steady rythm, so beautifully.. keeping him going, something so vulnerable but yet so strong. " Are you okay? ". He smiled when saying the words, looking into Spencer´s eyes with his own, feeling the love from him, almost high on it.

He leaned down again, catching his lips, feeling how he lost all control he had in his body. Slowly he started to let his hand slide under the shirt of Spencer, looking into his eyes, slowly pulling his lips away from his. He gently let himself slide down besides Spencer, so he could lay on his side, look into the beautiful eyes in front of him, while removing Spencer´s shirt, slowly and with such care, also while he caressed his warmth skin underneath his slightly cold fingers. When the shirt was removed, he let his gaze travel from the lips, down to Spencer´s chest, seeing every curve every tone of muscle. " You are so stunning ". He gently started to open Spencer´s pants.

He had missed feeling him, slowly leaning towards him, looking at him for a brief moment, before kissing him up the neck. He didnt bite into his skin this time.. he wanted to feel him, without the biting this time, besides.. he didnt feel like almost making him addicted to his bites again.. the only way he would ever bite him again, was if Spencer begged for it, but else.. he wouldnt. He kissed the neck, nipped a little to it with his teeth, before making a lovebite, sucking on the skin, to get a purple blue mark forward, but firstly it would turn a sweet red color on the skin. He smiled a little, before nippling to his ear. He let his his free hand move behind Spencer, firmly grabbing his ass, with a little sly smile on his lips.

Spencer barely got a chance to enjoy the view before he was captured in a kiss again, not that he was complaining. He would gladly choke on James’ kisses. He could think of worse way to die. His breathing slowed and became a calmer. He looked into his hard, barely able to stop himself from doing so. ”Never better.” It was not an uncommon thing for him to say. The difference was, this time he meant it. He felt like he had finally found where he needed to be, that he had found his person.

Spencer sighed against his lips, wishing he would never have to be without them for long, being without James for long. He opened his eyes back up when the kiss came to an end. James began to remove Spencer’s shirt, receiving no restraint from him. He felt his body shutter beneath his cold touch. He had not once felt awkward being naked in front of James. He had not always been very secure with his body, but with James he didn’t feel insecure or uncomfortable. He felt like he was the most beautiful thing James had ever laid eyes on. He tried to find something to say, but nothing came up. He didn’t know what to say that would express how much it mattered to him that he thought of him like that. He began to undo his pants. He would gladly let James take the lead this time. He couldn’t promise he would always do that.

Spencer closed his eyes, bending his neck to make more room for James, when he began kissing his neck. How a kiss on the neck could feel so great he could barely detain himself from jumping James then and there. He felt the slight nibble against his skin, bound to make a few marks. He didn’t care about it at all. He had no problem having people know he belonged with James. He let out a soft gasp when he grabbed his ass firmly. He thought he had been patient enough. No more waiting. He pulled his pants down and started to unbutton James’ as well.

He smiled as he heard the soft gasp escape Spencer´s lips, as he had taken a firm grab to his ass. He looked a little surprised when Spencer suddenly started to pull his own pants down, following that he started to unbutton his also. He took a gentle hold around Spencer´s hands, trying to hold back a little laugh, with the teasing smile over his lips. " Woooh, easy there loverboy. We havent even started yet, and you are rushing to the finish line ". He couldnt help but letting out a little chuckle, as he looked at Spencer with the gentle gaze, trying to catch his eyes, before leaning forward to give him a kiss, still holding his hands locket with his, if he didnt struggle too much to get out of the grib.

" What´s the rush? ". He looked at Spencer with hungry eyes.. hungry for the touch and the sweet sounds he would love to hear him make. He loved this, feeling close to Spencer, feeling his kisses, his warmth skin. It was like looking into paradise, whenever he looked into Spencer´s eyes, feeling himself completely lose it, how he just got lost in them, starring for the longest time he had ever looked into a persons eyes. He suddenly got an idea, before looking at Spencer with a little sly smile over his lips, before saying with a teasing tone. " Maybe.. we should just take this and then continue tomorrow ". He slowly released Spencer´s hands, before laying down on his stomach, still with the pants open, but not pulled down. He didnt do it to be mean, and he could also feel how his own manhood was throbbing after Spencer, but for now, he wanted to see how Spencer would reach, if he too.. had a monster inside of him, hungry for more lustful desire.

He could feel his fingers tingle, wanting to touch Spencer´s skin, his hair between his fingers.. how firm his asscheeks were.. He had to bite down into his clench fist a little, trying to keep himself under control. He turned around a little, så he had his back to Spencer, before reaching for the computer. " So where did we get to ". He had already forgotten what video it was they had choosen, since his head was spinning around Spencer and the feeling of wanting to rip everything off him and just take him right then and there.

Spencer narrowed his eyes when James stopped him. He wanted him, he was not going to apologize for that. ”I wasn’t planning on rushing anything,” he said with a smirk. He leaned into the kiss slightly, barely able to reveal that he wanted more than this. ”Nothing, I guess.” Everything with them had been so fast paced. He just assumed they were going to continue in the same speed. But maybe it was good for them to have more intimacy between them, without it having to be sexual. He moved one hand out from his, placing it on the side of his neck, stroking the skin softly. He looked into his eyes, disappearing in the depth of his brown eyes. He didn’t mind it one bit. He would gladly drown in those eyes if he could. He couldn’t think of a better way to leave this earth.

He shook his head when he wanted to postpone to the following day. ”Nah-ah. I can’t wait that long. I might be able to sit through a movie, just barely, but there’s hours until tomorrow. Hours James!” He shook his head again. He looked at him when he took the computer forward. ”You’re cruel.” He turned away from him so he was facing the computer. ”Well two can play at the game. Let’s see who last the longest.” He smirked by his idea. He wasn’t sure he could last very long with out having some sort of physical contact with the vampire next to him. He moved himself away from him just a little and pulled up his pants before laying his hands on his stomach. ”Sure you’re patient enough?” He said challengingly before he started the movie again. He was very aware of James laying right next to him, but he could highly competitive. Although this competition was different, as he actually wanted to lose and win at the same time. He wanted to be with James. He also wanted him to think it wasn’t all about sex for him, so maybe it was a good thing if they didn’t jump straight into it. ”Maybe we should learn more about each other too.” He didn’t really know all that much about James.

//Short, sorry.

He couldnt hold back his laughter when Spencer said to him that there was HOURS until tomorrow, which he knew, but he loved the way that Spencer said it to him, how he seemed so frustrated, which he was himself, but years after years, and hours even minutes, keeping his blood thrist at bay, had clearly helped him with holding back in other departments also, but it was TOUGH. He could feel his whole body almost being extra sensitive to even the slightest touch from Spencer. " Nooh, i´m sweet lovable James King, the best actor on the planet ". He laughed, before smiling teasingly to Spencer, feeling his own pants still throbbing with lust in them from his manhood. When Spencer turned away from him, he couldnt help but just lay there on the side almost, with a hand against the side of his head, holding balance while his elbow was against the bed, looking at Spencer with a most satisfying grin over his plump lips. How he loved to tease him, especially right now at the moment. " You look super adorable, when you get all grumpy ".

He nodded a little, before looking down his chiseled stomach, how he slowly touched his own stomach, looking at the screen, before letting his hand glide through the thick brown hair of his, slowly forming it backwards, so it was more sleek to look at. He turned around to lay on his stomach, before he supported his own weight a little in the front, with his elbows pressed down into the bed and the hands under his chin, looking at the screen and then at Spencer, when he asked him if he was patient enough. He could feel it through his body, how hard it was to hold back, but he just smiled and said with a calm expression over his lovely face. " Of course i am. What about you?.. already ready to give up? ". He blinked to him, before looking at him a little, up and down, before he said that they should learn more about each other. " So what do you want to know?. I mean, i already know alot about you actually, not that i dont want to know even more, but.. is there something you would love to know about me? ". He looked at him a little, waiting for an answer, before looking at the screen again, gently laying his hand towards Spencer, so he could take it and squeeze it, just so they could feel closer while watching the movie.

Spencer was not trying to pretend he didn’t want James; he also knew the feeling was returned. But he was also very stubborn once in a while. Mostly he just did whatever he wanted, but just know he felt he had to prove he could abstain. It was probably himself making him feel like that more than James. He smiled when he spoke. ”I would disagree, but I don’t want to lie to you,” he said looking at him shortly. He then grew a little grumpier. He knew it wasn’t a rejection at all, he just wanted it to matter, for them to matter. Still, he was not satisfied. ”I do not,” he said and crossed his arms with a pout. ”Don’t compliment me. I’m mad.” He tried to make it clear that he wasn’t actually mad.

Spencer kept his gaze glued to the screen. He was trying to calm himself down, knowing he would not be able to do so if he constantly looked at that beautiful face or amazing body. ”Of course not. I ain’t no quitter.” He looked at him from the corner of his eyes, but quickly looked away again when he saw that wink. How annoying. He finally felt comfortable in his sexuality, and now he couldn’t even have sex. What the fuck? Even though he was certain they would not be able to stay away from each other for long. He shrugged when he asked what he wanted to know. He didn’t know what to ask, there was a lot he wanted to know, most of it would probably not happen eventually anyway. He turned his head to him, looking directly at him. ”How old are you really? I mean, vampires live longer than humans, right? Have you lived longer?” It wasn’t a deal breaker to him, he was just curious. He felt so young compared to others. Spencer realized a good portion of the movie had played already, and he had barely seen any of it.

He couldnt help but laugh of Spencer a little, when he said that he shouldnt compliment him, because he was mad. " No you´re not ". He smiled a little, before looking at the screen again. When he got the question for how old he actually where, he tried to think back. " I actually got hit when coming to England, soo.. excuse my poor memory, but i think it was.. i´m almost certain, that i was born the year of 666, after AD you know, jesus death i think it stands for ". A little apologetic smile started to form, before he tried to put the numbers together before saying without even thinking almost. " I think im 1.353 years old actually ".

He started to get some pictures inside his head, slowly feeling his memory actually starting to be triggered a little from the question. " Yeah, i was born year 666, in France ". He couldnt help but look a little embarassed away from him. " Do you think i´m to old for you now? ". He hoped not, but one could never know.. it was a very big age gap. " What about you actually, when where you born? ". He was most certain that he had heard the 19 years old, but then again, maybe he was wrong.. but he just knew deep inside, that Spencer, wasnt as old as him, not even near it.

Slowly he moved closer to him, before giving him a little kiss on the cheek, if he would even let him, especially after having tortured him a little, with pulling away and saying that they should maybe wait. " I grew up with my mom actually ". It felt so freeing sharing something of himself with Spencer, so he decided to tell him more. " I.. dont remember everything but i remember her.. how she would laugh and her sweet voice, and how she would scold me, when i stole the wine from the basement and the parties i would go to, how she would sent William after me, to keep a lookout for me, when i got to drunk in blood ". He gently gave Spencer a little nuggi in the hair, before laying his arm over him once more. " Sure you can keep this up loverboy ".

Spencer huffed dramatically when James stated he wasn’t mad. ”No… But I could’ve been!” He smiled at him, his smile freezing slightly when he said how old he was. ”Holy shit.” He hadn’t met a person he knew to be much older than the average person. He was not quite sure how to handle it. ”You don’t look it,” he said with a smirk. He didn’t care how old he was. Why should it matter? It wasn’t that different than when a woman in her twenties got together with somebody in their fifties. The only difference was Spencer and James didn’t look like their was a 1000 year age gap between them. And Spencer wasn’t just with James because of his money.

”I knew you were French, so that’s something.” He chuckled slightly. He shook his head to his question. ”No. I prefer by men much older than you, actually. I usually never go under 1.500 years old.” He didn’t care. It mattered more to him that he was happy and treated right. ”19.” He looked at him, feeling awfully young now. ”Or so my parents say. Who even knows if they’re telling the truth about that.”

Spencer was not satisfied but that mere kiss on the cheek. It was not enough. His focused changed to his voice when he began speaking of his mother. ”So you always took what you wanted, huh?” He was happy he knew more about him now. It was important to know who you were planning on starting a relationship with. ”You have no idea how stubborn I can be.” He leaned closer, almost touching his lips with his. ”Sure you can?” He looked up at him, before moving away again. He wanted to win whatever little competition they had going between them.