I thought I had lost my mind - Marcel

Emne: I thought I had lost my mind - Marcel Lør Mar 09, 2019 12:38 am

@Marcel <3333
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She knew she should be happier than this. He was here. She was right. She had been right all along. But everyone had made her feel insane, even if they didn't meant to. Most people had been on their tip toes around her, saying she needed her time to recover - but the recover was what had been worse. Zitora ended up in her worse possible corner of how to get rid of this feeling. She was her fathers daughter and if anyone had been unsure of that - they weren't anymore. Even after she had seen him for real and not just in her head - she still couldn't face him with a normal conversation. Zitora didn't want him to see her like this, so broken and messed up - because she was a mess. She didn't sleep, nearly ate anything - she needed more help than she wanted to realize. But this night was different somehow, she was sitting at Late Night pup with a drink in her hand - but even through it was late at night she hadn't taken any sips yet. She was sober. Brutally sober, he showed up again and she couldn't figure out if it was the real him or not. But as someone sat in his place, the figure somehow disappeared again. Zitora just starred at the man who was looking at her, but rolled her eyes and walked to another table - he followed but Zitora wasn't really in mood to handle anything, so she blew him off - literally. She sat down on a chair with an empty table. The door opened and her eyes automatically flew to the door, and the person whom walked in took her breath away. There he was. Zitora swallowed and felt so unsure of herself - she hated that. Her hands were slightly shaking, because she hadn't been using today or been drinking.
"What are you doing here?" She asked looked more serious than she wanted. "You don't have to see me like this. I don't like you seeing me like this," she admitted as she ran a hand through her hair.

Gæst

He had heard about how she had taken his "death", that she hadnt believed it. Some part of him was happy, but less happy to hear that people had been trying to make her deal with it and mourn him. It wasnt hard to figure out where she had gone, Peyton had been keeping a close eye on her for him, which he was thankful for.
When he stepped in, he saw her, how she reacted to seeing him again. He carefully walked over to her, his walk was still kind of wobbly as he had still been recovering, but he didnt care. He sat down next to her, looking shortly at her shaking hand to then grab it and look at her with a smile, "You went out for a drink without me?" he asked in a calm tone as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. He made a puzzled expression when she said she didnt like him to see her like this. He shook his head and smiled softly, "You may not, but I am just happy to see you again," he replied as he entangled their fingers together, looking at her hand to see how thin she had gotten. It had been a short amount of time, but it surely had taken it's toll on her already.
He turned his eyes to hers, "I've missed you so dearly. I dont care if your mind is a mess - Or I do, but I would never let you go through this alone," he then said and put his other hand gently on her chin lifting her head towards his, "You're my life, Zitora. And you saw how broken I was when you died. But you came back and picked up the pieces. I just want to return the favor. Not because I owe you. Because I love you," he said, softly running his thumb over her chin as he looked her in the eyes. "So please dont shut me out.." he said in a low tone, a sad tone actually. he didnt want her to go through this alone, he wanted to be there for her.

Emne: Sv: I thought I had lost my mind - Marcel Søn Mar 10, 2019 3:06 pm

Zitora rolled her eyes softly when he asked if she had went out without him. She wanted to answer, but knew her reply wouldn't make any sense. Because in some way, she never really walk anywhere without him anymore - even if it wasn't the real version of him. Zitora hated the way this whole thing had crashed right through her mind and torn into pieces. She wanted to fix it, but had no idea how. She looked down at their hands as he entangled their fingers. The touch was real, so warm and almost made her gasp for air. Zitora closed her eyes as she felt her tears wanting to escape and she bit her lower lip, till he lifted her head towards his. Zitora opened her eyes, looking into his. She sighed but listened to him, letting a tear escape her eyes. She wasn't good at the not shutting people out thing, it was the thing Kaiya and her shared the most. When they got hurt, they would build these giant walls up - letting no one in. She had seem him handeling the loss of her, and it wasn't a memory she liked remembering.
"I could never never.. even if I tried to, you would end up being a pain in my ass," she laughed a little to herself and took a deep breath in.
"Everytime I touch someone I create a connection, a mental connection.. when that person dies.. that connection gets ripped over.. and our connection never broke Marcel.. I knew you weren't dead.. even if everyone tried to convince me otherwise," she admitted and looked away shortly. "But everytime I closed my eyes.. I would see Kaiya putting that gone towards you.. I would hear the gun shot.. and see you fall. I haven't been able to sleep.. even think.. and I've made some fucked up decisions in lack of controle," she exhaled before looking back at him.
"But you were always in the corner of my mind. And with time hopefully I will be able to let go of the version of you that manifested in my mind," it wasn't easy admitting she was going crazy. "Just don't ever plan anything like that again, okay? I can't go through that again. I love you so much.."

» Land of the Lost - Marcel
» I must've lost my mind
» Lost in thought - Maxwell
» I thought I had lost you - Francis
» How far I'll go - Marcel