Jar of hearts

LOCATION | Sophia’s home
DATE | 1st of May 2022
TIME | between 12-13
TOPIC FOR | @Sophia
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Perhaps it was a series of conversations that weren’t a good time to have, yet it wasn’t like there existed a good time for any of it. But perhaps the morning after should have been seen as the baddest time of all. Even so who could blame the old warlocks who seemed to be bound to tragedy in one shape or the other? So, when he had heard from the just as overtired Cassian this morning, the even more overtired Willson had almost choked on his second cup of coffee. His shift had ended only four hours ago, and he had looked so forward to some sleep when Camille had chosen to wake up, and call it a no sleep for dad kind of day. So, Willson had dropped his daughter off at his father’s. Told he needed to be somewhere and he would come back - god knew when.

Then he had gotten into his car and set towards Oakheart. He stopped by a bakery to get some morning bread with him even if it was almost midday, but the warlock never had claimed to be thinking in this very moment. And finally he parked out front the smaller stone cottage and got out of his car. Just relaxing how fast he had gotten here or how impulsive it was for him. What was he even thinking? Out of all people he wasn’t even sure she wanted to see him, yet he stood there now knocking on the door. Lifting up the paper bag with morning bread as the door opened.

It had been a mix of emotions yesterday evening, she had been sitting in the couch and tried to talk with Mateo but in the end he had left, clearly angry about the whole thing. It was like things were crumbling around her, and even if she wanted to call Diego and tell him that the son that they hadn’t been able to save was now alive, she hadn’t. Because there was a tendency that she had started, and old habits die hard.

Someone knocked on the door, as she threw the last bag down the stairs, she had her passport in her hand and was ready to get to the airport and jump on the best and first plane out of Athena, she wasn’t really sure where she was going but one thing was sure, she was running. Because at this point it was what she was getting good at. She had been surprised that she had stayed after she had been in the altercation with her ex-fiancé.
Her brows pressed towards each other as she walked over and opened it, only to see a bag with morning bread and then she looked up and saw Willson. “Willson?” she breathed with a surprised voice looking over her shoulder. Caught in the act. “Ehm, not - not that I’m not happy to see you, but, what are you doing here?” she asked very confused just starring at him, then she realised and a small pained hiss left her “Cassian called you, didn’t he?”

Willson was about to say something, but then he saw the bags behind her. "You are leaving?" He said almost breathless, and maybe it was that entire feeling that just pulled him back into a hole that seemed too familiar. He didn't answer her first question, because it was obvious why he was here at least to himself. But he was also standing in his pajamas pants and his bathrobe around him, looking like someone who had just woken up - which he of course had and hadn't. "He did, more or less," he took a sharper breath in. Then Willson took a choice, and he let himself in and closed the door behind him. "You cannot just leave - please, just talk to me," Willson almost begged her, trying his best to pull a little smile not trying to sound too demanding. But he had just gotten so used to her being here, she couldn't not just leave again. Not again. Even so he didn't have anything he could say to keep her here other than that, she was not obligated to listen to him or do anything he said. "Please," he gestured her to the living room, or what he assumed was the living room, hoping she would at least talk to him. Before she did something she would most likely ending up regretting. "I bought your favorites," he mumbled trying to lighten the situation just a little bit, even if there wasn't much to lighten up. Willson took a sharper breath in, feeling like how the seconds just turned to hours in his mind waiting and hoping for her to stay. Just stay this time, think this through.

Sophia took a sharp breath in as he stated the obvious. She looked away from his eyes and couldn’t really get herself to look at him, mostly because she knew how this had to look. Maybe if she stayed and dealt with the uncomfortable feelings, she would be a better place. But she was a coward, and everything that had happened yesterday had brought up all those memories she had tried to outrun.  
For a moment she was a little stunned as he just walked inside and closed the door behind him. Telling her that she couldn’t just leave. Her throat bubbled as she swallowed and clearly was thinking things through, not knowing what she wanted. Either just grab her bags and tell him she was sorry and then she would drive away, or she could do as he asked her to. Too talk with him.
But she didn’t move, she just looked at him folding her lips together almost as she was frozen in the moment. Mostly just because she had no idea what to say, her lips parted but instead of forming words she felt how it started to quiver and tears started to glide down her cheeks. “I don’t - I can’t - this, I -“ she hugged herself and backed back so her back hit the wall a sob left her as she closed her eyes that only made more tears fall.

There was no manual to this, but he also knew the feeling of closing oneself in too well. Because there were times where he did the same thing. Closed himself in and would rather just do anything but deal with his traumas. There was no running away or moving on, it was a lie, but at some point you could see past it. Not let the focus stay on it so badly. Find something to live on for. Which could at times be the hardest. But he placed the paper back on the closest counter and watched as she hugged herself and backed away, meeting the wall behind her, sobbing. Willson's throat felt tight and he had to clear it for a second, then he took a small step closer towards her and exhaled a bit softly. "Yes you can -" Willson took a sharper breath in and then softly placed his hands on her shoulders, letting his thumb caress the skin, keeping his eyes on hers. "We do it together okay? First, just breathe Sophia," Willson took a sharper breath in himself and felt the worry rush up in him. "Sophy you here with me, look at me - you can battle this, what ever it is you are feeling is pulling you down, you can beat it."

She swallowed and pulled a pained expression as he told her that she could.
There were so many things that she hadn’t told him, keeping them close to her heart because it was too painful to share or to have someone decide something not because of the person you were, but the circumstances that there was around it. Was it fair of her, no, not in the slightest.
It was like she couldn’t feel his warmth even though his hands found her cheeks, it was like it only reminded her that he wouldn’t be here if he knew. If he understood everything he would run, just like she was trying too.
“Stop! Stop being so nice to me” she yelled trying to be angry, but all it sounded like was a desperate way to get him off her. She took his hands and tried to move them from her face. “I’m running because it’s the only thing I know how to do, whenever something horrible happened in my life I ran away, hoping that the new place would give me the comfort that no one knew my story, coming back here was a mistake” she angrily dried her tears away from her cheek and shook her head. “You wouldn’t be like this if you really knew, if you truly understood” she tried to argue as she stepped away from him.

"No," his voice raised just a little bit, "no I won't," he lowered it a bit again, despite her trying to yell at him and move his hands away from her face. He let her, because there was no way he was going to force his hands on her either, and he was already over stepping by just showing up. "And then what, you just run around like you are a ghost, but you are not the only person who gets hurt by that you know? I'm trying to understand you, I'm trying so badly but you are making it so freaking difficult," he lashed a bit out and took a step back as she tried to get away. "Understood what? If I truly understood what Sophia?" His voice almost sounding complete lost in what else he could do. "I might only know bits of what has happened, but I cannot help you if you won't let me in, if you won't tell me what is going on with you. How can I if you don't let me in, why didn't you ever let me in?" Willson took a sharper breath in and kept his eyes on Sophia no matter how she moved or didn't move around. He didn't know what to do or what he could do. "I'm sorry for what happened to you - " he then said hoping she would stop for a second, just for one little second.

She started pacing in the room walking away from him and coming back. But when she did and she thought she knew what she was going to say she felt short for words. “I’m not who you think I am” she whispered licking her lips then letting out a frustrated low scream as he kept going.
“Stop!” she yelled and turned around again pointing towards him as she looked at him. They were passed the point of no return; he had pushed her enough and she knew it would come out like a flood of things that she wanted to keep for herself would burst.
“When my parents died a mother and her son found me, used me and that is how I ended up as a fallen angel, because they made me do things that I couldn’t say no to - I found love after, but witches took our children, and while we argued about how to get them back, they killed our son - because he had protected our daughter we failed to protect so he paid the price. Before coming to New York an alpha shapeshifter attacked and raped me and I found out I was pregnant with his child, but when it came down to it I couldn’t get rid of it, so I gave her away, it nearly tore me apart” she looked at him, “and when you proposed I was reminded just how little you knew about me, and I got so scared that I ran away - but then I found out I was pregnant again, so I came back, but when I did you were in the arms of Calypso and I - and I….” her words slowly died out and her eyes widened as she realised what she had just said. Taking a step backwards. Tears were streaming down her face as she stood there looking like she had just burned herself. Because she had, spoken to many words. But he had just pushed and pushed, of course she would snap - who wouldn’t have?

I’m not who you think I am. Those words hang in tightly onto the air in the room, and once again she yelled for him to stop. But he knew he had pushed, and now he knew the consequences of his actions would come find him, bite him in the ass. But he listened. Listen to all these things that word for word tore a piece of him apart to hear. It wasn't anything he wish would happen to her, he had always wanted what was best for her. But then her final sentence knocked him completely off his feet. ... but then I found out I was pregnant again, it rang in his head over and over again. "You found out what?" He blinked a little bit. Willson took a sharper breath in keeping his eyes locked with hers. "And you didn't think I deserved to know, based on that?" Willson exhaled a little bit taking his eyes off her trying to breathe, but it was hard. "Wh - What did you do with it?" He dared to ask after a minute, he wanted to know if he had a child out there he didn't know about, but also if she had chosen not to have it. His emotions flared up, but he did his best trying to keep them in check not to lose control of his magic. But he couldn't react till he had all the information even if he was hurt that she hadn't said anything.

She swallowed and for a moment she hoped that the ground underneath her would just open up and make her disappear.
But when he turned it around and asked if she hadn’t thought about the fact that he deserved to know. Even though she did think about that, it turned her sadness to anger. Not that it was directed towards him in general, but because she was just so filled with emotions that anger was easier to deal with. “What do you mean if I didn’t think you deserved to know!?” she shouted taking a step towards him. “How long did it take before you found comfort in the arms of Calypso? Huh?” she turned her head and crossed her arms feeling how something heavy and ugly started to press down on her heart. What had she done with it, she wanted to answer it, but right now she couldn’t. For a moment she thought about just straight out lying, but why would she have given birth to a child of a rapist and then not given birth to his. If you thought about it, it would be obvious that there was a child walking around out there that was theirs.

"Don't," he warned, "don't change the subject Sophia," Willson added keeping his eyes locked with hers. His heart speeding so fast he was almost afraid of having a heart attack. One thing was the very small amount of sleep he had gotten, making him very easy to blow over if given the chance - and he was very blown over by what was happening around him. The thing between Willson and Calypso was a whole other story, and sometimes he still wondered what had happened to let him end up in her arms. And Willson somewhat knew the answer to his own question, but he didn't want to make assumptions but rather just wait for her to confirm it for him. Because he could dangerously imagine a child of theirs walking around, he had held that vision for years while they had been together. Always wanted that for them. A child or two of their own. Knowing it might just be what they had, but not something he had been a part of. "You know how much I wanted that for us," his voice broke a little bit, he tried not to let it - but he couldn't really control the crack his voice took. "I loved you through everything - through and through," Willson shook his head a little bit then clicking his tongue. "Boy or girl?" He still wondered, because he wanted to know. He really wanted to know.

Her eyes narrowed as he asked her not to change the subject. It wasn’t because she couldn’t see how dangerously close, she was pushing him to the edge. It wasn’t because she enjoyed it, or because she wanted to hurt him. But it was hard for her to just let go of this protective behaviour she had made for herself. The one where she could just close people out by pushing them so far that they didn’t want to keep up the effort that it took to have her close.
She folded her lips when he told her how much he wanted it for them. That he had loved her through everything. She just looked at him as he asked if it was a boy or girl. How she wanted to answer that, show him the pictures of their beautiful daughter. How well she was doing for herself. Working in Italy as a fashion designer.
“You didn’t follow me; you didn’t stop me when I walked out that door - and when I came back you had found someone else. A woman whose child are probably wondering where her father is. Go home Willson” she said in a much calmer voice, even though the emotions she felt was rushing through her body right now, but she just managed not to let them overwhelm her as they had done just a second ago.

He shook his head. Why was she making this so much more difficult, making him more frustrated by the second by not answering one of his questions, "just answer my questions dammit Sophia," he cried out and took a sharper breath in after one of the glass on one of the mirrors exploded. Okay it had been a tough month, on top of work he had been trying to find Olivia's kidnapped child, finding out both Liam and Olivia had crawled out of hell  - and here as the top of the iceberg. Sophia didn't want to tell him more about this child of his she just indirectly had told him was there. "Why can't you just tell me something instead of closing yourself off like this - is that what you are trying to do, try to make me hate you, be angry at you?" Willson then asked. Because damn hell, it was a close encounter but he didn't want to tab into those emotions nor dance with more devils, because he already felt his powers overloading. The endless chaos within him calling out for another round.

Her body tensed as she heard how a mirror exploded, her eyes gliding from it towards him as she could see just how much this was effecting him, more than it would usually have done. But it didn’t make her want to change his mind, and as he spoke about her wanting him to hate her and be angry, he hit the nail on the head. Not that she had thought about it like that, but hate was easier than her thinking that there was still a chance for them, when he had a young daughter with Calypso, knowing him as she did, that he would always choose his kids over himself. Meaning that if he could see that it was better for Camile that he was with Calypso what would step them from being together?
No, that wasn’t just it and she knew it. Maybe it was the constant feeling that she didn’t deserve anything good, nor a relationship that was good for her. Constantly sabotaging herself because it made her feel better in all the pain. “Yeah! Maybe I just want you to fucking hate me!” she snapped and walked towards him and pushed him back, not that it was violently but more as in get out.

She snapped, walking towards him and pushed him back, but he kept standing, not moving more than an inch. "Maybe I should just fucking hate you than," he yelled a bit, not because he wanted to, but there was only so much he really could take when people snapped at him and he had reached the point. But he wanted to calm down, he wanted himself to calm down again - but there was no way he could do that. There was too much at stake and he didn't even know if he could handle one more push. So he pushed back, but not in the same sense of how she had pushed him. He grabbed her head by the cheeks and then kissed her. Just a fast kiss on the lips, before he let go again. Willson blinked for a second even surprised himself by what just had happened. But at least it got them both to shut up for just a second. At least just for a second. Willson just kept looking into her eyes.

“Good!” she screamed back, angry tears gliding down her cheeks as she stood there staring at him, wanting him to hate her with every fibre of his body. But then everything happened so fast, his lips on hers, and then they were gone. But the warmth wasn’t.
Her eyes blinked as she looked into his eyes, those beautiful eyes that was unlike anyone’s she had ever looked into before. Even behind all the chaos, behind the pain and the troubles there was such a beautiful fire. There was warmth and love. There was a man that just wanted to be hold and cared for.
A second felt like an hour. A minute felt like a lifetime.
And then she kissed him. Her hands finding his cheeks. The kiss lasted longer than the one before. “I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl” she cried against his lips “she works in Italy and wants to become a full-time fashion designer; she got your eyes and your horrible sense of humour” she whispered against his lips. “And I really don’t want you to hate me, but hate is just so much easier for me” she cried holding him close.

She then kissed him, once again he was completely surprised by the forces that pulled them both together and apart. A beautiful disaster. But her touch against his cheeks was warm, making him kiss her back. Let the kiss last longer than the first one they had shared after so long. Then their lips parted, his eyes remained closed, but he listened. Listened to her words as she told him that they had a beautiful baby girl. That she worked in Italy, had dreams of being a fashion designer. He could almost picture her, laughing through a small cry as he pointed out his horrible sense of humor. Then confessing how she didn't want him to hate her, of course he knew she didn't want that. Hating something was easier. "I know - and I don't. I don't hate you, I could never hate you," he whispered against her lips, letting his thumbs trace over her cheeks, still keeping her close.

“I’m sorry” she whispered softly letting her hands glide over his cheeks behind his head. “I’m so sorry that I just left, that I ran away from you when I knew you needed me, I’m sorry I tried to do it again” she whispered letting her forehead press against his, not knowing what else she could do right now, then to apologise for being such an idiot, because she knew that she was. She had known all along, but it was hard to suddenly change a core trait of yours. Especially since she had used it survive. “Thank you for bringing me breakfast” she said with a low voice, leaning in and kissed him again, just wanted to taste him a little more, get him a little closer. “My god I’ve missed you, so, so much” she whispered again letting her arms glide around his neck so she could get him even closer.

"I'm sorry too," he whispered against her lips, taking a deeper breath in, finding all of this very emotional, but finally it reached like they had made it past the raging sea and headed to calmer shores. "You just did what you needed to do in the moment," he wanted to assure her. Feeling her forehead press against his. Then she thanked him for bringing her breakfast, even if it was more close to midday. Before words could leave his mouth she kissed him again, the sweet taste of her lips - how he had missed it. "I've missed you too," he hummed a little against her lips, moving his hands down, just letting them wrap around her so he could hold her closer towards him. "Please tell me you are staying," he whispered against her lips. Because he didn't want to give up to much hope of her staying if she just would turn around and leave despite of this conversation.

A small chuckle left her and she nodded when he asked her if she was staying. “I’m staying” she mumbled, keeping her eyes close so she could feel how close they were to one another. “Just have to call someone and tell them that I won’t be coming to Italy any time soon then” she whispered, revealing where she was going. Maybe then their daughter would come here. Now that he knew she wouldn’t deny him the chance of meeting the daughter they had gotten together. Especially when that was the one thing, she absolutely did not regret about in any of this.
“So -“ she let out a small sigh and opened her eyes so she could look down at him. “Do you want to maybe, I don’t know, get some sleep? Then I can unpack, and when you have gotten some rest, I could make us some dinner, or do you need to get back to Camile?” she asked softly letting her hand carress his cheek.

He felt like a heavy stone was lifted from his heart when she confirmed that she was staying. And nodded when she mentioned that there was someone she would have to call first. Willson quickly theorized it was their daughter. It was still a weird term to get used to - their daughter. They had a daughter. Willson opened his eyes around the same time she did, listening to the next thing she asked. "Is it that obvious that I haven't slept?" He joked a little knowing very well he hadn't, but hadn't even noticed his own attire. "I asked my father to look after Camille, so she is in good hands," or he hadn't really given his father much of a choice, with the speed he had been here - but if there was anyone he would trust with his daughter it would be his father and a few of his other family members. "But I think some sleep might be a good idea,"he nodded a little bit.

Sophia couldn’t help but let out a soft chuckle, as he asked if it was that obvious that he hadn’t slept. “Well, the outfit gave it away at first” she mumbled with a cheeky grin then it turned softer as she gently caressed his cheek. “We might not have seen each other for a very long time, and it’s somewhat a long while since we were together, but you haven’t change that much” she mumbled, then nodding as he explained that Kieran had Camile. “Then we better get you into a bed” she whispered giving him a soft kiss then moving to away taking his hand so she could show him her bedroom so he could sleep.
Guiding him towards the bed she placed her hands on his shoulder and pushed him down. “You have my word, I’ll be here when you wake up” she whispered, leaning down giving him a gentle kiss. A kiss that was still filled with so much emotion that it was almost enough to knock her off her feet. She really had missed him.

Willson looked down at himself for a second, "well that explains the look my father gave me," he mumbled a little to himself. But also, he had rushed out rather quickly. It had taken him by a surprise how fast he had been to react. Willson didn't resist on the thought of getting some sleep, it was rather needed, following her as she guided him to the bedroom, and pushed him down so he fell down into the bed. Sitting on the bedside he watched as she leaned down to place a kiss upon his lips, and he kissed her back. "Okay, I better get some rest then," he whispered against her lips. Very tempted to just grab her and have her next to him while he slept. But he also knew that she needed to unpack, and then they later could have time to just be them again.

She chuckled, shaking her head a little; a smile formed on her lips that didn’t seem to be able to disappear no matter how hard she tried. It was dangerous how easily it was to fall into old habits. “Well, if you need to rest, you have to lean back and do so unless you’re trying a new technique and sleeping while sitting”, not that it’s uncommon for doctors to sleep where ever, whenever and however it was possible.
“Need me to tug you in?” she chuckled, letting her hand softly glide over his cheek. Felt how warmth started to spread in her chest as she took him in. Even sitting here in his pyjamas, exhausted, he was beautiful.
Her thumb traced over his cheekbone before she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his forehead. “Okay, come on, down you go” she chuckled softly and lightly pushed him towards the mattress.

"We are surgeons remember, we are trained in multitasking like this," he joked with a small yet warm smile, but completely lost his breath for a moment as her hand glided over his cheek. He hadn't even listened if he was being honest, he just sat there and looked at her, at least till the kiss on his forehead brought him somewhat back to earth. "Okay okay," he chuckled as she gently pushed him towards the mattress, and he swung his legs up into the bed, and got under the covers, turning to his side so he faced her for a moment, took her in. It seemed so unrealistic, like a dream he would wake up from anytime, he hoped it wasn't the case. He didn't know what he would do if he would wake up and realize it was all gone again. It didn't take long before he felt his eyelids getting heavy, so heavy he was unable to even force himself to keep them up. And then sleep just overtook him, clearly been in need.