Let's be lonely together

He looked down as she rolled more on top of him, with her head on his chest, and her hands under her chin. He raised a brow, waiting for whatever she wanted to say. Because it had to be something important if she was making the statement of actually lying on him while speaking. Not that he minded it, in fact he couldn’t really hide the smile that formed over his lips as he caught a few strains of her hair and pushed it behind her ear. “Oh?” he hummed, when she explained that she didn’t think she would get tired of him fast. Which was a funny way of saying it, and he almost teased her with her way of wording, with asking if she thought she would get tired off him at some point. “What, chaotic and broadminded with no red tread or consistency?” he asked laughing with her, not really taking much of what she said to heart. It was in a way, just really nice to lay here and talk about something as trivial as him having a chance to skip second year to at least go to third year.

Mary-Janes had the hint of a smile on her lips as he responded. “Yes, exactly. Chaotic and broadminded,” she laughed. It was a weird feeling, almost laying on him while he was laughing, but… She didn’t mind it and the more she actually thought about how she was feeling about being in this whole situation, the more comfortable she got. She felt more and more secure. She sighed a little as their laughs died out. “Don’t degrade yourself, okay?” she whispered still with her hands underneath her chin. “I know it’s easy enough to say from my perspective, but…” she wriggled her mouth a little from side to side while she thought, “I would love for you to see yourself through my eyes,” She laid down next to him again. She looked at him and in generally smiled a little brighter. No. No-no. She studied his shirt for a moment with her eyes, and she let the smile find its way back into the box of rare uses.

It was easier said than done, not to degrade yourself. Especially when you were in a family with brilliant people, all having something good going for them. One way or another. Now, that didn’t mean there wasn’t pain, far from it. But, where just felt useless and dumb. His siblings all had their thing that they were extremely good at. Or at least had the potential to do, if they got the help they needed. Even with the help, what would he amount to? He had always been the black sheep. Bullied, behind, needing to take a year over, because he hadn’t been able to pass any of his exams. But she was right. At least he had drawing now, which seemed to bring a lot of joy to people. So, that was something, right? He raised a brow, as she told him that she would love him to see himself through her eyes. He wondered, how would that look? “Well, I could only say the same to you” he whispered with a soft smile, as he turned his body around, moving his arm and popping his body up with placing his hand against his chin. “The thing about seeing yourself through my eyes” he said with a warm smile, looking at her, as she was lying there next to him.

She looked up at him as he mentioned how he wished the same for her. She pulled on a shy smile and watched how he turned around to they were facing each other completely, he just popped up on his arm. “Yeah,” she mumbled. “I wonder what kind of mess that is,” she laughed a little. She thought about all of the chaos she had been going through lately and simply hoped for better days as soon as possible, because she was getting tired of this. She sighed a little. “I really hope Iris is coming home soon,” she mumbled and thought for a little. “I’ve never seen my father so… Happy… And relaxed,” she said and sent him a tight smile.

“A very pretty mess” he laughed because he knew that she had gone through more than most. Which might be one of the reasons why they were having such an easy time to be around one another. Because, without saying anything they knew that they understood each other. On a level that most people couldn’t really follow. He nodded understanding. “Yeah, I’m sure she will, but you guys still text, right?” he asked, knowing that Iris adored her little sister more than most siblings did. It was hard for him to picture that Iris wouldn’t at least keep in contact, even though she was angry at their father and needed a break. “So, it sounds like a good thing, but yet, you say it as if it’s the worst?” he chuckled a warmly, still keeping his eyes on her.

“Stop that,” she laughed with him and gave him a soft nudge on his shoulder. Calling her a very pretty mess. She believed a giant mess was more suiting. Giant mess in a small body. She bit her lips a little as he asked if they were texting and she nodded a little with a soft hum. “I don’t really want to pressure her and ask her when she’ll be home. I-I can’t really do that,” she said and pulled on a slightly sad crooked smile. She couldn’t allow herself to pull onto her sister like that. Mary-Jane was old enough to handle her own problems. Or, sometimes at least. Her eyes looked down between them as she remembered how she had hugged her uncle, crying and how Iris had left… The smile was no longer on her lips while she thought back. She remembered Artemis in the shape of her mother asking her to talk to her father and… how Artemis the same evening had revealed her true colors. Using them to get closer to Killian, so he believed she cared. She should’ve known. She should’ve known.
She looked up at him as he wondered whether or not it was a good thing or not. She pressed her lips together into a thin line shortly. “She’s his mate and I just don’t get why they didn’t find each other sooner and…” she spoke quite quickly. “He’s just been so busy before and now he suddenly seems to get things together. Like, if they had found each other sooner things would’ve been so much different. He would've always been happy,” she said and rolled onto her back… Or at least she that was what she thought. She landed on all fours on the floor before she leaned back to sit upright. “That was on purpose,” she said and got up and sat in the bed. Now that she wasn’t in his embrace anymore, she had to convince herself whether she should lay down next to him or now. “I’m just sad that he never was with the one he actually wanted to be with,” she looked down at her fingers and picked at them a little. “I don’t know,” she shrugged a little, “If they had been together from the start, we wouldn’t be having unknown siblings and…” she stopped herself and licked her teeth while she picked at her nails. She wouldn’t be there too.

He couldn’t really help but laugh as she pushed his shoulder. But the mood quickly turned when the talk wandered back towards her sister, and the fact that she didn’t feel like she could call her and tell her that she needed her to come home. Kemuel didn’t really know how to answer that, because he would hope that all his siblings knew, that even if he said fuck it all and just walked away. That they would always be able to call him and ask for his help or that he needed to come back for one reason or the other. He saw how the smile on her lips slowly got smaller until there was no smile left. He himself, just looked at her waiting for her to either process whatever memory that she was going through.

Or that she continued speaking. A sad smile formed on his lips, as she explained that the new woman was his mate. And that she didn’t understand why they hadn’t found each other sooner. Now, he couldn’t really answer that. Because he had no idea. But after the whole conversation about his mother, knowing Ash for so long. It was clear, that sometimes soulmates didn’t get to spend time together, and had to be apart for a while. He was just about to say something, as she rolled around and fell down on the floor. He had tried to catch her but hadn’t been fast enough. He rolled on his stomach and looked down as she got up. “You okay?” the strings of the side of his mouth pulled up trying not to laugh. “Of course, you did” he mumbled, moving back into the bed so she could sit down. Then he pushed herself up, so he was lying a little more elevated on his many pillows. “I think you can beat yourself up forever, if you keep thinking about what ifs, maybe it’s better to focus on things changing for the better, now that they finally have each other?” he mumbled, putting his hands behind his head. “Like, finding out that Zadkiel and Laila are children of Ash, that was kind of wild, but you can just look at my mom and him and see how much they love each other – but timing just never was on their side, but now they finally figured out the timing, so that’s, something to be happy about, right?” he whispered looking towards her with a soft smile.

She didn’t look at him while he spoke. She picked the skin around her short nails a little while she listened to what he had to say. He was so fucking smart and knew just what to say. God she wished that she would be having Kemuel’s voice in her head instead of her own degrading one. She could really use that, she believed. She nodded carefully. Of course, she should be happy about them finally being together, and she was. She just had to put away all of the bad thoughts. It was easier said than done. She listened to him telling her about how Zadkiel and Laila was the children of Ash and not the man that Mary-Jane never had met, Kemuel’s father. “Yeah,” she said and nodded again before she looked up in his room and studied his paintings and sketches for a moment. She shrugged a little. “Just like timing wasn’t on our side, right?” she said and looked towards him. She meant how Rose and Mary-Jane wasn’t a thing and how Taylor and Kemuel wasn’t a thing. Who knew if it was just timing which was terrible for both of them? She didn’t directly say that Taylor nor Rose was their soulmates, but more that the timing hadn’t been right.

He looked at her as she mentioned that they had been having bad timing. He gave her a half smile, as he turned his eyes towards the ceiling. “Well, to be fair, we are only twenty-two and eighteen” he laughed, which was a good thing to take into account. Now, he would live without ageing much beyond thirty years of age, depending on how well he would age. MJ on the other hand, being a shapeshifter, she had not as long to figure things out. But still, more than enough time to just focus on herself. A partner shouldn’t be what brought joy into your life. It should be friends, hobbies, and finding something that you wanted to do. “I think we have more than enough time to find our soulmates, and who knows, maybe we already found them but we just need that timing to work out for us” he sat up, tugging at his feet so he was sitting with his legs folded.

Mary-Jane shrugged a little thinking about how they were still young and had a long time to figure everything out. She hummed a little thoughtfully, reminding herself of how long both of them had. She was both older and had a shorter life. It could both be good and bad, because to some extend being immortal would mean you would have to watch everyone who wasn’t immortal die, but if you were mortal… Well, everyone around you would also die… What was the biggest difference really? She glanced towards Kemuel, shortly envying the mortality difference. She looked back at her hands while he talked about soulmates. It was a weird term. “I think I read a study once that women are most likely to find their ‘soulmate’ before the age of twenty-five and men before the age of twenty-eight,” she mumbled. Once again, he got more years to work on. Damnit. She pulled on a little grimace as she picked in one of those small flaps of skin near her one of her nails. Something you mostly got when you had too dry hands. “Do you think Taylor is yours?” she asked, knowing it was a tricky question.

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes a little about the fact when people met their soulmates. Know, he wasn’t about to tell her, that many of those he knew had never met their soulmate yet. That maybe it wasn’t about finding a soulmate, then just falling in love with yourself. Maybe that was all it was really about. But he didn’t want to sound like a pretentious jerk. So, he didn’t say anything. Looking towards her, as she asked if he thought if Taylor was his, he shook his head. If she had been, then it wouldn’t be this hard. “Well, okay, so I know it’s not fair to expect to be with someone and you don’t have to work through things, but” he made a small grimace and shrugged. “I just can’t, and if I’m not able to let it go, and forgive her how she handled things, then – well, then I just don’t see how she can be my soulmate, because if she was, then it would have been easy, then I wouldn’t have cared – I would just have wanted to be with her” he sat up and looked towards MJ “does that make sense?” he asked, licking his lips feeling a little uneasy.

He shook his head about Taylor. It made her pulled on the corner of her mouth. She listened to him as he elaborated why he didn’t think so. His reply was good and well thought out. “Yeah,” she exhaled a little. “I’m sorry, it was just-” she shrugged a little not really knowing what to say and started picking her nails again. She didn’t really believe that Rose was her soulmate now that she thought about it. But it still didn’t make it easy for her to just forget about how she had loved her and believed that it could be them. They just… They got on so well and Mary-Jane had caught herself getting lost in her eyes but maybe… Maybe it was just because Rose had actually been a nice friend who cared, and not like everyone else who had pretended to care and like her company. She glanced over her shoulder and watched Kemuel for a moment, realizing that she might just have liked the friendship. She looked back at her hands. “Curiosity I guess,” she bit her lips a little. It knocked on the door and Mary-Jane turned to look towards it. It took a little moment before Tien’s voice could be heard: “Dinner is ready,” she said from the other side of the door. Mary-Jane looked towards Kemuel a little unsure whether she should be joining or not now that she had been so stupid to portray herself as Taylor earlier, or maybe it was just time for Mary-Jane to go home.

Kemuel reached out and took her hands, so she couldn’t pull at the skin around her nails anymore. “It’s okay, I don’t mind” he said with a soft smile, titling his head a little. “I kind of like that about you, that you just ask when you want to know something” he let go again, turning his head towards the door when Tien told them that dinner was ready. “Okay, thanks!” he yelled back looking at MJ before he got out of bed holding his hand out. “Come, I know my mom has made more than enough for us all, so you should join us, if you want of course” he didn’t really think about it being weird, and if Tien was going to say anything, he would just say it as it was. That MJ had turned into Taylor, to make Tien understand that sometimes you needed to take a hint, when you were told that you wanted to be left alone.

Eden turned and looked towards Tien as she came down. “Help me?” she asked, handing a bowl of salad, before she turned around and started cutting the chicken that she had made. That was when Kemuel came down with a girl. A big smile formed on Eden’s lips, as she put down the chicken. Dimming her very powerful aura, so it wouldn’t be so intimidating to stand to close to. “Hello, I’m Eden, Kemuel’s mother” she introduced herself, instinctively knowing that she shouldn’t give hand. Walking over to the fridge she opened it and looked inside. “So how many wants a Pepsi, and who just want some water?” she asked, before pulling out the things that the kids wanted and walked over the table again. “Please sit down” she said with a smile, and Kemuel nodded showing MJ where she could sit, before he sat down.

He took her hands and she almost felt her heart stop for a moment of surprise. She could also feel a little tingle in muscles who wanted her to pull her hands away from him, but she resisted it. She looked up at him as he talked to her. It was almost like his explanation made her shoulders rest just a little bit.
She couldn’t help but smile as he replied to his sister. Something about it just felt so natural and homey. He got up and held his hand out for her, “Okay,” she said with a little smile. She got up and passed him without taking his hand, but while she walked, her hair got a little more texture and movement. Maybe Mary-Jane didn’t think much about her appearance when she was with people who she was comfortable with, but when she was meeting new people, who seemed to have some kind of importance or possibility for her to meet again, well, then she liked just to look like she was a little alive and not just a straight girl in every single way possible.

Tien sent her mother a glad smile and took the bowl from her mother and put it on the table. When she had placed it on the table, she looked up to see Kemuel and… Another girl. She wondered who this girl was. When had she gotten inside? Did they just crawl in and out of his window? Could they climb on walls or turn themselves into flies? She looked down at her salad and stopped her stupid thoughts with a little chuckle. Mary-Jane caught onto the chuckle, but she was probably the only one who heard it from the enhanced hearing her species had compared to angels. Mary-Jane sent the mother a caring smile as she presented herself. Mary-Jane had prepared herself for the fact that most people wanted to shake hands, but when it didn’t seem like Eden had the hands to do so, she didn’t even suggest it. “Jane,” she replied and pulled a lock of her hair behind her ear. Tien waved to Mary-Jane from the distance, “Tien. Kemuel’s older sister,” she presented herself before she looked at the food in front of her. She appreciated how the aura his mother carried had been dimmed because it was quite strong. She couldn’t even compare it to anything she had ever felt before. “Pepsi, please” Tien replied quickly and with a wide smile. “I’ll just take some water,” Mary-Jane said and suddenly realized that she had been picking her fingers since she had redirected her hair. She then quite aware of her fingers put her hands in her back pockets. They were gestured to sit down, which made Mary-Jane look towards Kemuel. She knew that some people had specific seats at the dinner table, but who knew, maybe the Nelson’s weren’t like that? She was gestured to a stool, and she sat down. As soon as Tien got the possibility, she sat down and opened her Pepsi, shortly looking at Kemuel, wondering when the girls had been switching places. She didn’t want to ask any questions about the two girls switching places. Whether or not he was playing two hearts at once or not. “So… Are you all done with the crush you had on Letha or?” she nodded to the side, hinting at Kemuel might be dating Mary-Jane, or maybe he wasn’t? Who knew.

Eden started putting food on people’s plates. It had always been a weird tradition; she had kept since the kids had been kids. But it also made sure no one would fight about who got more food. Until Zadkiel of course had started training and never really seemed to stop eating. Kemuel was just about to put some food into his mouth, as Tien poked at him for the fact that he had a crush on Letha. “Seriously?” Kemuel breathed out, more or less looking like he could kill her. Or at least wanted to strangle her. Eden couldn’t help but laugh. “I remember, you were about this height” Eden put her hand down to illustrate just how tall Kemuel had been when he had been twelve years old. “When Letha first visited us, and you just never really let go of that first impression you got of her” Eden laughed with her voice that were still in a slight accent. Kemuel groaned and hid his face in his hands. “Please stop” Kemuel begged, but even though he clearly found it very embarrassing a hint of a smile was still found on his lips as he looked up again.

“Besides, Jane and I are best friends, now is that a crime these days, to have best friends?” he asked looking towards his sister with raised brows as he a little aggressively put a piece of chicken in his mouth and started chewing. He was very aware that he hadn't said that they didn't date, nor that it wasn't like that. Wasn't there some unspoken role, that even though one weren't dating a girl. You never rephrased it like that. Because then it sounded like, you wouldn't date them. Eden gave Jane a big smile. “No, I’m just happy that you finally felt comfortable enough to bring one around to eat dinner” Kemuel didn’t answer but with a slight hint of pink in his cheeks he looked down and started eating a little more. If he had known this would turn into a moment of embarrassing Kemuel hour, he would have asked if they could have eaten in the bedroom.

The small redhaired girl had just taken a mouthful of her water when his sister started to poke him about a crush he seemed to have had. A wide smile, which Mary-Jane tried to hide, spread on her lips as Kemuel looked like he could kill his sister. The conflicted smile only stayed as Eden seemed to follow Tien and showed the height. It was such a challenge not to spit out her water in laughter. Mary-Jane thought it difficult to see Kemuel in any other height than the one he had now. After all, she didn’t know him from before his awful fishing trip.
Mary-Jane couldn’t help but let a small chuckle leave her as Kemuel hid his face and asked them to stop. She understood why it could be embarrassing, but truly, if she remembered Letha right from the few talks, she had had with her, then she was a very pretty lady, with very vibrant eyes. Tien did try to hide how funny she believed it was. The funniest thing however was how Zadkiel never really seemed to notice just how much Kemuel thought Letha was pretty.

Mary-Jane noticed the little smile on his lips as he looked back up. Now, it seemed like a not so criminal conversation anymore. She licked her lips as he started talking about how he described their friendship. Tien leaned forward, put an elbow on each side of her dish and rested her head on her palms. “Mmmh, yes. When it's a best friend matching one’s sexuality,” She squinted her eyes a little while looking at Kemuel, “Best friends…” She widened her eyes as if she got an idea, “…With benefits?” she asked almost excited. She quickly looked towards Mary-Jane and winked at her, to let the best friend know, that she was just pissing off her little brother. Mary-Jane on the other hand believed it was just a little too far, and even her cheeks seemed to get a little more color. After all, it wasn’t really like Mary-Jane had ever really been… Hugging in a bed before… Okay, maybe it was cuddling but… She was unexperienced. She looked down at her plate and started to arrange herself something to eat.
Mary-Jane looked up from her plate as it seemed like Eden looked at her. She sent her a careful smile. How Tien was digging at Kemuel, she understood very well why Kemuel hadn’t wanted to bring a friend home. Even Mary-Jane wouldn’t dare to bring a friend home, but maybe it was going to be easier now… Beforehand it was mostly just sitting with her sister or alone. Somehow, it seemed like Eris was better at making her father realize that family time by the dinner table was also important.

Kemuel looked taken aback where Tien was going. What on earth? His eyes became a little wider, and he found it less and less amusing. One thing was teasing about his old crush, or even if they were dating. But sex, that was something he didn’t just share with anyone and if he was being honest, Tien overstepped big time. Which was rather obvious with the way he folded his lips and turned his gaze towards the plate and didn’t say anything. He wanted to tell her off and defend MJ’s honor. But right now, he was just fuming with anger that his sister thought that was acceptable behavior and knew if he said anything they would just start fighting. The last thing he wanted to do right now, especially with both his mother and Jane present.

“Alright Tien, that is enough” Eden said with a soft smile, quickly feeling how the atmosphere around the table didn’t respond well on Tien’s teasing. Even though she knew that it was coming from a good place. Eden took a bite of her food and turned her eyes towards Jane, wanting to chance the conversation before it went out of hand. “So, Jane, you are attending the academy as well?” she asked, wanting to know more of this friend of her sons. Especially since he hadn’t brought many home in the past.

Eden kindly told her that was enough. Tien observed her little brother and his friend with a teasing look for a moment, biting her lip to pick up if there were anything hidden between the two. It only lasted for a hot second or two before she turned her head towards her mother, “You know, I’m just out for my fellow ladies,” she said and shrugged, looking back at Mary-Jane. “It’s good to be on the same pag-” - “You don’t have to worry about my fucking boundaries,” Mary-Jane barked. “Sorry,” she almost whispered and glanced towards Kemuel. She knew things had been a little troublesome and she really didn’t want to make things even more complicated. But Tien raised her brows and leaned a little back in her chair. “Okay,” she said and nodded. Tien had trouble taking her eyes of Mary-Jane now, but Mary-Jane could look towards Eden as she asked a question for a whole other topic. Mary-Jane nodded and was glad that the topic was pulled away. “Yeah, or well… My attendance could be a shitton better,” she laughed a little with a smile on her lips before she realized that she might just seem like bad influence and her cursing might not be that appreciated. Her eyes scooted from Kemuel to Eden in slight panic. “Not that I’m making Kemuel skip classes or anything... I just don’t learn shit from our lessons and-” she tried to save it, even though she felt that it might just make it worse. “I’m so fu-… sorry,” she said knitting her brows together in an apologetic way. “I’ll just shut my whor-” she sealed her lips by pressing them together. This was really not going very well. Whore mouth… Why did she want to say that so badly? Leaned a little further down in her stool and at the same time she made herself just a little bit smaller.

A soft groan left Kemuel as Tien kept pushing making Jane bark back, he looked down at his food. At this point he kind of wish that Seraphina were here, which she probably already could feel since they had found out they shared a link. Which also made sense after he had woken up that night, she had lost the wings and had felt the pain almost as it had been like his own. Rather impractical, mostly because he felt so guilty about all the pain she had been feeling while he had been gone, in the house with the man that once had been their father. Eden on the other hand, just looked at MJ with wide eyes, and she thought that Tien had a bad mouth on her. Normally she would tell people not to use that language in her house. But she had gotten used to Ash and his constant swearing when he got annoyed about something or stubbed his toe. Maybe she had just gotten a little looser about it. And this wasn’t her kid to raise.

Kemuel turned his eyes towards MJ as she kept swearing and talking about how she wasn’t’ really attending. A small huff of laughter left him as she then quickly added that she wasn’t making him skip from class. Even more so when she kept catching herself in swearing and just corrected it before letting the whole word leave her. Letting everyone know what she had been about to say. “She only has chemistry on her schedule, she quite brilliant actually” Eden nodded to what her son told her. “So, do you want to pursue a career in chemistry? We have some brilliant scientist at the hospital, if you ever want to challenge yourself” Eden said with a smile, she herself had gotten a price because of her achievements in cancer developments as she also worked as a biochemist besides being a surgeon. Or well, she had been doing that. Now she had a very different commitment even though she still worked at the hospital from time to time.

Mary-Jane had folded her thin lips while Kemuel explained that she only had chemistry and that Mary-Jane was quite brilliant. She wanted to tell him off, that she wasn’t that brilliant, but on the other hand, she knew quite well that it was a lie. Mary-Jane looked up at Eden, still apologetic about her language, and listened to her question. She tilted her head a little to the side and corrected a strand of her hair, which tried to cover her face. “I-I don’t know,” she replied quite soft. “I do believe that the hospital would challenge me a-a whole lot more,” she managed to correct herself before she cursed. But Eden’s question awoke a thought that Mary-Jane had always kept for herself. “To be fair, I…” she glanced over at Kemuel a little apologetic, “I’ve been thinking about dropping out and just get a job at the hospital,” she spoke softly. She had never spoken about it with anyone, and she didn’t really like the fact that she had just praised Kemuel for the fact that he might be able to skip the second year and they could attend the third year together.

Eden nodded with a soft smile on her lips, other than that she knew a lot of people that was on the top of their field, that would be able to help a bright mind explore her future. But she didn’t say anything as it seemed like the young girl had something else on her mind. Now, the next thing she said, took Kemuel off guard and he stopped from taking a bite from his chicken and looked towards Mary-Jane. She had thinking about dropping out? Why hadn’t she told him about that, but hey, maybe she had just thought about it because of everything that had happened with Rose and then that she didn’t really feel like she was being challenged at the academy. She wouldn’t still, not after being excited about him being able to skip to her year and then they could take classes together. Right? He looked towards her with a slightly confused smile. “Something you’re still thinking about?” he asked softly, looking towards his mom that took a sip of her water and gave him an encouraging smile. “I’m sure mom can, you know help you to get in somewhere if you want” he said a little defeated not wanting to tell her what she should do, even though he was a little sad to find out that he would lose another friend from school to hang out with in between classes.

Mary-Jane pulled on a short sad smile. She honestly didn’t really know what she should be replying, because it was still just roaming around. After all, it was the first time she had aired the idea to anyone but her ceiling. She noticed how he looked at Eden and spoke about helping her getting admitted somewhere. Mary-Jane was a little overwhelmed by the offer. “Thanks, but I… I don’t really know what I would want the most,” she took a sharper breath in. “I’ve never… Talked to anyone about quitting, so it might not be anything at all,” she tried to assure him, “Besides,” she poked her food a little, “I don’t know if it’ll work out with Starla and all that,” she mumbled. “Since I take care of her and all that,” she reminded him, and informed the two others.
“Who’s Starla?”
“Uh, my grandmother. She got Alzheimer’s,” she informed Tien and took a bite of her food.
Tien’s eyes widen a bit and she leaned a little over the table. “It’s really cool that you take care of her,” Tien said, slightly fascinated. She was impressed that people would work with elders. Wash them, dry their ass, give them life-giving medicine and… All in all being so responsible for another’s life.

He nodded and gave her a smile he hoped conveyed that if she didn’t want to talk about it, she really shouldn’t do it. Even though, he couldn’t really stop the feeling of being hurt form in his chest. Maybe it was just the part about people saying one thing, and then hiding another thing. Even if this was, significantly smaller than hiding a boyfriend. He looked towards Tien as she asked whom Starla was.

Eden pressed her brows together and gave MJ an empathetic smile. She had seen a lot of people with Alzheimer’s, it was never a pretty sight. And it was even worse for the family to see someone they loved slowly to fade away. The hurt in children and grandchildren’s eyes as their mother, father or grandparent couldn’t remember who they were anymore. “I’m so sorry to hear that, how is she doing, under the circumstances?” Eden asked, looking at Kemuel that looked down at his plate not really knowing how to be a part of the conversation right now.

Mary-Jane could see how he seemed to be a little hurt by what Mary-Jane had been thinking about. She had been thinking about it ever since she had had her first class. She had cursed her lessons to be too boring and had really not liked the academy all that much. After all, it had only been thoughts. She hadn’t even spoken to Rose or Iris about this. Her father would probably get worried if she wanted to drop out with such great grades she had.
Her brain almost tried to calculate how she could make the academy more interesting to herself. She wondered if there was anything she could do to explore and evolve as the person she was, and for some reason did art class, history, language, material arts and swimming get in her mind. It was things that could make her… Even better to things she might not be the best at, and she could copy the faces and voices from history and language. She could get stronger, more creative, and maybe even better at handling situations where she had to defend herself. It was a possibility.

Mary-Jane looked at Eden as she asked how Starla was doing at the moment. It made the blue eyes flee to the food in the middle of the table, and she almost got completely mute. It had been a month ago that her grandmother had hit her, and she had lied and said it had been Rose. “I don’t really-” She furrowed her brows a little while looking at the salad. Her grandmother had even had difficulties with remembering Mary-Jane. Her grandmother had been asking for Mary-Jane’s mother, and she seemed so disappointed every time Mary-Jane had to explain to her that she wasn’t there. Starla was crumbling away, and it was sadly going faster than Mary-Jane wanted to. After all, Starla was the woman who knew the most about Mary-Jane and what she walked around with – without remembering it anymore, that is. She had found everlasting comfort with her grandmother, and it simply just seemed to run through her hands like sand. Mary-Jane shook her head a little. “She’s been doing better,” Mary-Jane replied finally looking up at Eden nodding. She noticed how hot she suddenly felt and how her heart beat a little faster. She didn’t feel like confronting the fact that Starla might not make it to the new year when she had but so much work into making her stay alive. “Excuse me,” she mumbled, a little short of breath before she got up from the table to find the nearest bathroom.

“Alright Tien, that’s enough,” Tien mumbled as soon as the guest had left the table. She wasn’t really complaining… Or, well she was. At least she hadn’t been tri- wait had the conversation been so bad? She looked up from her plate and towards Kemuel. “Hey Camel,” she whispered and gave him a quick gesture with her hand, to try and communicate that he should get up from the table and check on his guest.

She undressed the sweater only to notice how the back of her top was quite wet from sweat. She cursed, and a little curl appeared on her lip in disgust. She pulled her sweater over her shoulders and tied it in front of her chest. She looked herself in the mirror, and with her ability she made her hair pull up into a ponytail. She shook her hands, almost as a stim. “Get yourself together, Jane,” she peptalked to herself with closed eyes. She only changed her voice for the peptalk. She opened for the tab and splashed some cold water in her face. She gasped a little and dried her face in the nearest towel. She jumped a little on her legs before she would head out and back to the table to apologize for her leave.

Eden couldn’t help but push her brows together as she watched how Mary-Jane started to talk about her grandmother. So much guilt was forming in her chest, and she could almost feel how it was seeping out of her. She wasn’t quite sure what it was she was so guilty about, if it was because she didn’t feel like she was taking good enough care of her grandmother, of if something had happened to cause this feeling connected to Starla. Kemuel gave Jane a soft smile but didn’t really dare to touch her or place a comforting hand on her shoulder. It was always a little hard to figure out, what was acceptable with it came to her, even though she had told him that she could always ask for hugs or if she needed to be there for him. That was another thing, then just touch her. Especially after she had just passed his hand and walked out on her own. And now since she had apparently not felt like she wanted to attend the academy he was slightly hit with the fact that maybe he didn’t know her at all, so, he kept to herself. Eden looked sympathetic towards Mary-Jane as she explained that the grandmother had been doing better, she decided not to say anything as it seemed like a lot of things were going through the young girl’s head before she excused herself and got up from the seat.

When Tien started to complain about how Eden had slightly reprimanded her from keeping up with the way that she had spoken. She sent her a trying look, her brows slightly pushed together, and her lips thinned. There was a difference between keeping digging in stuff, and asking how a relative were, especially since they were sick. Kemuel looked up as Tien talked to him, he looked over his shoulder where Jane had walked off too. “Just, give her some time” he mumbled and clearly had no idea how he was going to help with whatever was going on with MJ right now. Eden could of course get up and talk to Mary-Jane, and she wanted to do that very much. But it wasn’t always that easy, one thing was being guilty another thing was actually asking for forgiveness and wanting to ask for it. Many times, people felt like they needed to stay in the misery of being guilty about something they had done, instead of figuring a way to let go and forgive themselves. Which always was the biggest hurdle to get over.