Don't be afraid of wanting something more

Even though Kemuel had said that he probably shouldn’t touch her when she had a boyfriend and all, she couldn’t resist grabbing onto his forearm as he backed away, and she followed. She felt light comfort by it and looked up at Kemuel as he told Hunter to shut up. Taylor didn’t think it was fair that Hunter pulled Kemuel into the ‘discussion’, but Kemuel was a part of this, no matter how much he might not want to be, because she had cheated on Hunter with Kemuel. Her eyes flew to Hunter who sank onto his knees, “No,” she almost whispered at Kemuel, not wanting Hunter to get hurt, but it seemed like Kemuel was quite focused on telling Hunter what was right or wrong. Taylor was on the edge on stepping in front of Kemuel to tell him to stop, but at the same time, she felt completely frozen, stuck in her fawn response wanting to please both men in whatever decision she should make.
Taylor slowly let go of Kemuel’s arm as he started to confront Hunter about his temper. She had trouble seeing the problem, but she also understood why she liked Kemuel so much. He was something so completely different and yet… He twisted Hunters wrist a little more, “Kemuel,” she said a little quicker but with slightly more voice. Taylor understood that Kemuel wanted to defend his sister, Taylor had just wished that she could’ve done the same for Lauren. Defended her, told Hunter that he should keep his mouth shut and never ever talk about her sister again, but she avoided conflict so much. Hunter was pushed away hand he grabbed onto his arm where it had hurt the most. “Fucking psychos all of you,” Hunter hissed, only to point towards Taylor shortly after, “We’re not done, Taylor,” he sneered before he walked away.
Taylor was out of words and as soon as Hunter had walked away a little she stepped in front of Kemuel, “I- Thank you and I-… I’m sorry you had to see that,” she said and pointed with her thumb over her shoulder in the direction of Hunter, “He’s not usually this angry,” she tried to defend him.

Kemuel’s words hit her like a brick to the chin. She was completely lost for words for a moment and watched how he went back to get his things. She couldn’t even close her mouth completely. That prick. She took a breath in and caress her own arms a little. “I eh… I ask myself that all the time now,” she replied softly not really seeking eye contact. She took a deeper breath in, collecting herself. “I just… I thought he loved me and… Ever since that night I’ve been noticing…” she looked up at him and for a sparse moment gaining a little more confidence. “That he’s a complete jackass… And… I,” the confidence was running out like air from a tire. “I shouldn’t be saying too much, because I’ve been just as much of an ass,” she said an gestured towards Kemuel as in being with him, “But the worst thing about that is that I wouldn’t mind doing it with you again and… That just means that I shouldn’t be with him, and-” she had just said she would like to have sex with him again, “I- I’m so sorry that’s…” she felt her breath being shallower. “That was very inappropriate and I,” she took a short breath in, “I’m sorry I bothered you… I-I’ll leave you be,” she said and furrowed her brows shortly. It was like all of the bricks that Hunter had used to build their relationship with finally was knocked over and she didn’t really know what to do with the mess. If she had no feelings for Kemuel, she would probably just try to rebuild the relationship, but that wasn’t how things were. Oh, how she wished she hadn’t told Jane everything she had felt.

”No, no, it’s okay,” she tried to assure Kemuel as he said he couldn’t deal with it right now. She looked back at the school building shortly before she heard him mumble again, which gained her attention. “Yeah of course,” she said giving him the same soft smile, “Or, if you want to you can just drop by when it suits you?” she offered and scratched the neck of her hair. “I almost live next door to your brother,” she said and bit her bottom lip a bit. She didn’t know that he already knew that and had seen her with Hunter such a long time ago. “The houses in Thunder Groove, number 11,” she said and let her other hand pull a strand behind her ear. “You don’t have to call or anything, I’ll be there,” she assured him and let her arms cross in front of her. If he simply agreed, she would nod approach the school building and eventually her class. After school she would go to Hunter’s place and break up with him. This had been it. She didn’t want to be with him anymore. She couldn’t. Everything was wrong about the relationship.