And the damage I left behind

Location: Rozas Sugar & Spice, Amena st. Moonlight Falls.
Date: 21th of March 2021
Time: 14.20
Weather: Blue sky. Sunny.
Surroundings: People on coffee run, people enjoy the sun is here
Outfit: Link
Topic for: @Echo <3
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It was just a day like any other, and she had what, few minutes till her shit ended. Then she could get home, and have a chance like all the people outside to actually enjoy the sun. However, as much as the sun was shinning and bringing a smile on her lips - a dark cloud from the past soon entered the room. Despite the smile falling from her lips by the scent, it wasn't because he had brought anything bad into her life. It was the other way around, she had ruined their friendship, she had ruined him that day. "Hey, what can I get you?" Her voice was surprisingly weak as her eyes was upon him for the first time in seven years. Her heart was heavy and all she wanted to do now was explain. Explain why, the reason behind the terror.

He didn't say a thing. No word, but his face screamed louder than any word could, so he turned around and walked away. She took a deeper breath in, "excuse me," she said as she ran from her job and tried to catch up with him outside. If there was one thing she needed to do in her life, it was to apologize. She knew it wouldn't change a thing, and she was most likely the last person he wanted to speak to. But she needed to know that she had said sorry, even if it didn't change anything. "Echo.. " She yelled after him as she came outside, and her eyes looked around as she used her senses to track his location. Noa had not counted on seeing him here today, if she had, she would have prepared herself in one way or the other. At least she was so focused on finding him right now, that her mind didn't have time to break down the memories that had let up to this friendship breakup. "Echo wait," she started to run and finally seemed to catch up with him. "Please, hear me out." Noa stopped up and took a deeper breath in, her heart started to speed up realizing she had no idea how this situation was going to go.

Wrong move. She didn't even have time to be impressed by the fact she made an impulsive move, till it had turned to a failure. Hear you out?! The hiss made her stop and just hold her breath while watching him. It was like a kick, a small kick that started anything in her system, making her more scared than anything else. Anger was a fuel that provoked her fear, provoked everything in her system and as he walked closer to her, she felt herself getting smaller. She didn't say anything, not a word, she didn't even dare to breathe and even through it was only seconds it felt like hours. Noa knew she was the villain of his story. Her lips slightly shivering and she could feel how her blue eyes teared up, it wasn't really for the reason why he yelled, why he was angry. She understood his anger, she didn't blame him for it. She blamed herself. It was like a giant wave that washed over her as she turned away from her, pushing her down till she lost all strength in her legs and just crumbled to the ground. Noa didn't even realize that she had fallen and was sitting on the cold ground, just trying to catch her breath that didn't seem to allow her to breathe. It was like hundreds of hands just had wrapped themselves around her forcing her down, and all she could do was just gasp for air while her tears rolled uncontrollably down her cheeks. It was like everyone was starring at her and yet she couldn't even open her shut eyes to see if they did. The young shapeshifter ran her hands over her hair, having a firm grip on the top of her head she pulled slightly - hoping the grib would remove the tightening feeling in her chest. At least distract it. His words still echoed in her ear, like a high pitched voice that wouldn't stop repeating her mistake. Then finally silence for a second, till Logan's voice played a trick on her mind, ”That’s what I’ll do to your friends if don’t keep them away from my work.” Noa started shaking her head just wanting to scream, she wanted to shut down the voices in her head.

Everything around her was one big blur, and all the noises seemed to be nothing compared to the screaming inside her head. Noa tried to dig Howard up in her mind, he had always told her to think about him whenever she needed someone to chase her demons away, just taking a deeper breath in and picture him in her minds eye. She didn't realize Echo had returned first nor reacted to his words, she could barely stop crying, like someone had just started the autopilot and the off bottom was out of sight. Finally, she managed to get a hold on a few of the tools she had been taught to get through her meltdowns, and she breathed out, able to open her eyes and try not let the fact that people had watched her get her off again. Her blue eyes noticed Echo in this moment and it made her take a deeper sobbing breath in. He didn't owe her anything, and yet she wished for him to just give her right now a hand to hold. Or at least she reached out for his arm, placing her hand on it and let her fingers grab around the fabric, just to at least feel grounded. And looking at him, the huge amount of people starring at them like she was insane, they didn't even reach her. She was still crying and her eyes looking red as the tears just kept running over her cheeks. But at least her heart had slowed a little bit down. Enough to make her take enough control over herself. She didn't waste time on speaking or explaining herself, it would just speed the heart up again and she didn't want two meltdowns here in the streets.

Noa closed her eyes, feeling how the tears got pressed out running down over her cheeks. She hated this. She hated everything about this, reacting so strongly still to her triggers even after all this time. Noa repeated a few breathing exercises, and there his voice started to echo in her mind, making her keep breathing. Finally, she opened her eyes again and nodded to him. "I'm okay," she said slightly out of breath looking around, looking at the people who starred and the people who just walked by them. She took her free hand up to dry her eyes and cheeks. "Can we.. uhm. Can we go somewhere else?" She asked with a slightly lower voice, wanting to get away from the attention the crowed provided her with. Noa didn't like sitting here on the cold ground, finally becoming more and more aware about what was going on around her again. Her eyes returned to Echo looking slightly begging. For a second she had completely forgotten what had caused this entire episode, but then again, she had it coming hadn't she?

Work... "Right," she mumbled having completely forgotten everything that had happened before the meltdown. Noa closed her eyes for a short second and took another breath in. "It's okay, I have an agreement with them. I will just go in explain," she then replied getting slowly back on her feet. He didn't owe her anything, but she wanted to at least explain. Try to see if she could explain. Sometimes when you broke something it wasn't able to be fixed again, and she sure had completed her mission in pushing him out of her life back then. Noa knew people said it was her own fault that she had been alone after that, that she was cruel and mean - she had been, but little did they know the truth written between the lines. Noa dried her eyes and walked back to the cafe, it only taking a around seven minutes till she showed up again. The crowd of people had cleared out, seeing the drama was over. "Come on," she said in a low voice and nodded him in the direction she wanted to go. There was a lovely walk not far from here closer to the sea. And even if she preferred having a more closed space to explain this in, perhaps the sound of the waves and the smell of the salty water would be enough for her not to completely break down by the story she had to share. Perhaps, she could be just strong enough to pull through with it. Besides, there was no saying he would trust to follow her into a house or a room. Not if Jamie had told him back then what she had done to Zadkiel, how she had just shot her boyfriend. Jamie had always claimed she was a bit out of control, and all those years ago - she had no other choice than to live up to that tale.

Walking on the path with the ocean to their right side, it was the only noise made till she cleared her throat. "I know that it's sounds cliché, but everything I did back then. I did to keep you safe," she started out and exhaled, looking over at him shortly. "I was forced into some pretty bad stuff, and - and I had to get rid of everyone. Otherwise he would hurt you.." Her eyes wondered to the road ahead of them, facing her demons was never what she enjoyed doing the most.

It was hard enough even getting in that mindset, having to come to the point where you needed to tell someone about what had happened - that was one thing, she could talk to Howie about it without completely melting down, but he was also the person she trusted most in the world. But telling someone she had hurt once, she felt like she tried to justify what she had done - but she didn't. Noa knew what she had done, she knew she had been and was terrible for that. "Someone - ehm," she took a deeper breath in for a moment feeling how her heart rate started to rise. "A man named Logan," she closed her eyes wile taking the next few steps, closing in on the voices in her head, his voice in her head trying to remind her not to speak about him. "He used mind control on you so you wouldn't remember he was there that day, but he wanted me to get rid of you, so you wouldn't stop him in his planning - and," she could feel how the tears started to bottle up in her eyes, running silent down her cheeks as she took another deep breath in, "and.. he said he was going to get rid of you if I didn't do it, so I did," she sobbed a bit through the last part of her words. Noa wasn't here for his pity, or for forgiveness, she was just here to tell her part and then he could do with it what he wanted.