We need to talk

It was late in the afternoon, and to be honest, Enid didn't know what to do right now. She had spent the day pacing her mother's mansion, walking all around and in the end she had walked out to the forest. She knew she needed to see Dean, talk to him, have things sorted out, but she felt at a loss. That woman with the blonde hair and those stunning eyes; Was he hiding something from her? Hadn't they agreed that there would be no more secrets?
Then there was the thought of marriage. Her mother had spoken about some sort of agreement, and with her father gone, Enid felt so lost. She felt like tearing the whole world apart, but what good would that do? Finally she had gotten herself to Dean's cottage. Looking at it from the outside, she felt a little nervous, mostly because he didn't even know if he would be here or at the academy. One thing was for sure, she needed to see him, to talk this out before her mind exploded from all the thoughts that ran through it.
She was wearing a rather simple outfit, just some washed out jeans and a t-shirt under her jacket. Her hair she had put up in a ponytail, one that would no doubt slip down during the coming hours.

As he opened the door, she stood for a bit, feeling a little perplexed. He was there, right in front of him, and all of her emotions came rushing back to her. She couldn't hide what she truly felt for him, and it was so clearly visible in her eyes. He wrapped his arms around her, and she stood a bit in silence, closing her eyes as she returned the hug. Enid didn't want to fight or have an argument. Part of her actually wanted to ignore that strange feeling he had about him right now, and just go inside and hang out like they hadn't done in forever. She nodded at his greeting, stepping in to the cottage and removing her jacket and shoes. She didn't want it to seem like she was just passing by. Like a wild cat, she started pacing a little again once she was inside. How could she find the words to describe the mess of thoughts in her mind?
"Dean, we promised each other to be honest with one another, right?" she asked. She wanted to make sure they were on the same page, and as she wrapped her arms around herself, she forced herself to stand still. Looking at the werewolf, she felt so much joy, yet there was a fear of losing him as well. Enid was not a jealous type per say, but she was not one to share. They had agreed to be a couple again, and she had never once strayed in her faithfulness towards him. "... Are you seeing someone else?" she finally asked. She just needed to know.

Enid shook her head at her own words, and as he denied it she felt a bitter taste in her mouth. Then who was that blonde woman? The one that had stayed here in his cabin, was she just a distraction? Her jaw trembled a bit as she looked at him. "That woman ... That beautiful blonde woman," she said, her eyes turning sad as she said it out loud. It was as if it was now a reality. She started pacing again, as if she was a wild animal pressed in to a corner. Had she not shown him enough love? Was he doubting what they were? "I can forgive ... I can accept that you might feel urges, and that is normal, but please don't tell me that you love someone else," she said softly. Perhaps it was wrong of her to come here and accuse him in his own home, but she just needed to know.
"I'm running out of time," she whispered, feeling frustrated. She hadn't felt this for a long time, and all she wanted to do was lash out in anger. However Dean didn't deserve that, he deserved so much better.

Enid nodded, the words about this woman sounded true, but she was still pacing. She couldn't stop. It was as if she didn't even hear his confession about a one-night stand, because frankly she had been presumed dead at that point. Her heart was racing, her palms sweaty as she felt the dread fill her system, making her pace even more. It wasn't before he trapped her between the wall and himself that she stopped and looked up at him. His words cut deeper than knifes, and she felt her heart being twisted every which way but lose as she looked at him. She felt the tears press on, because somehow she had hoped he had cheated. It would've made her life easier, it would've made his life easier as well.
"Run away with me," she pleaded out of desperation, taking his hand in hers as she looked at him. She looked like a wounded animal, stripped of her pride and self image. "We can have a life away from Gaia and Moonlight Falls; We could go to Spain, live with your pack down there," she said, but she knew it wouldn't help. She needed to come clean, and as she closed her eyes, she felt a few tears escaping her lids. She leaned her forehead against his chest as she started sobbing. For so long she had fought to come back to him, to return to the love they shared and perhaps have a chance at a normal life. How could she break it to him without tearing them apart? "My mother wants me to marry someone - For an alliance," she sobbed, wrapping her arms around Dean, clinging on to him as if her life depended on it.

Enid shook her head at herself. How could she be so stupid? She loved him, and yet she was too selfish to let him go. The werewolf had taught her love, what it meant to be with someone, and she was afraid of letting that go. The question came as to what she had answered her mother, and feeling her heart heavy, she looked in to Dean's eyes. "I told her I would rather suffer for eternity in the flame world than marry someone I don't love," she said. She placed a hand on his cheek, looking at him with sad eyes. "I love you Dean, but we are both so young - Marriage has always seemed so far away, and I'm clearly not right in my mind as of late," she said. She had accused him of cheating, and yet he wasn't angry at her, at least not as far as she could tell. Looking into his dark eyes she felt that flutter of her heart, that feeling that made her feel alive.
"I want you to be happy - I want you to have the best life you can have, and is it crazy to think that I dream of being there by your side?" she asked softly, letting her thumb stroke his cheekbone. "I know I've made mistakes, and I can feel the sin of death hang on you, so please, tell me what you have done," the words were hard for her to utter, because she could feel the shame that came with the killing.

Enid held her breath as he asked who it was. Did it even matter at this point? Was there any resolution to these troubles they always seemed to face up against. Things were like they were for a reason, but why did the world want to tear them apart so badly? "He's prince of the Underworld," she said. Maybe it was because it was engrained in her, but she didn't like the Underworld. She despised it to be frank. Perhaps it came from her upbringing, and yet she didn't want to think it was so.
"I think I don't know either, I'm kinda lost at the moment," she said a bit saddened by the fact that she had no real answers. She wanted to be with Dean, but was he willing to fight for her to let it be so? She knew she was willing to fight for him. To the death to be honest. However she couldn't know what he was thinking, only see that he worried for what he needed to do or say. Truth was he didn't need to say anything, he was more than enough for her to feel the soothing in her aching heart. Life had thrown so much in her way, and she felt lost in the depths of it, but he had always seemed like a bright beacon, ready to guide her through the darkness when she needed him the most. He was the reason she had fought to stay alive, he was the reason she wanted to be able to control her powers better. She wanted him to be proud of her, look at her and see the work she had done to be better for her own sake, but just as much for their sake. She loved him. Deeply and with no regrets. He was more than she could've ever asked for, and every day she faced because she knew she had him.

The mention of what he had done made her close her eyes. Maybe it would read as dismissive of what he had done, but in reality she knew what killing did to the soul of the victor. She knew how it could tear at one's being. On one hand she was proud that he had protected that young woman. She had seemed nothing but genuine and caring when Enid had met her. On the other hand she worried what it could mean for Dean down the line. Was there any witnesses? Could he end up in jail? And what about the family of the man he had killed's family? A lot of things to consider, but she remained silent as he admitted his willingness to do it again if he had to do it over. She took a deep breath, opening her eyes to look at Dean with a soft gaze. He spoke of her hating him, making her shake her head, placing a hand on his cheek. "Dean ... I've grown up with death around me, meaningless deaths and torture of unwilling souls trapped in the damnation of Hell," she said. Had he forgotten her own past? How her and her sister had wreaked havoc? How they had hurt, manipulated and gotten people to kill themselves from pure insanity? "A sin doesn't make me hate you," she said, looking in to his dark eyes. His stoic expression scared her a little. Didn't he believe what she said? Her hand moved from his face, traveling down his shoulder and down his arm until it reached his hand. Entangling their fingers she gave his hand a squeeze. "But I do worry, I worry that you are blaming yourself, or that you might not feel anything at all," she admitted.

Enid looked at him as he said he always blamed himself. Still holding his hand in hers, her other hand caressing his cheek, she listened to his words. The sadness in his eyes made her worried, his words about not wanting to feel anything was not something she wanted to hear. Had she brought him nothing but hardships? Dean had a lot of friends all over the place, he was great at handling himself socially, so why did he have to suffer this greatly. His whisper made her frown, shaking her head no as to say she wouldn't leave him. "I fight to stay with you ... I want to make you happy," she whispered softly, looking in to his eyes as if she was searching for something. Dean had always been a bit of a mystery to her, and on the other hand he was like an open book. She pulled him down in to a sweet kiss, pressing herself closer to him as she wrapped her arms around him. She wasn't willing to let go of him yet, she wanted to be with him and do all of the things they had spoken of that night on the beach.
"I love you, Dean Alvarez, but it feels like you've given up on us," she whispered against his lips. She felt her eyes water, a few tears escaping as she kept her eyes closed. "If you don't want to fight for me, that is alright, but I'll always fight for you ... The sweet werewolf that showed me what real love is, that I don't have to settle for anything less than true love," she said softly. She didn't want to break up with him, it was the last thing she wanted, but if he had already given up, was there a reason to pull at their heartstrings for much longer. "I want to stay the night," she said, squeezing her eyes closer together. One last night, she thought to herself, then she could lock her heart away.

"I guess we'll just have to figure out a way as to where I'm not going to marry that guy," she said softly. She didn't know how, because her mother seemed dead set on her marrying the prince of the Underworld. Enid didn't even have a name, just the title of whom she was promised away to. She knew her father wasn't in the picture right now, mostly because he had seemed to disappear, and she had had a hard time even getting in to contact with her older siblings. The angel felt alone, except for when she was with Dean. Then everything seemed to make sense. He was the force holding her grounded, not gravity or the will of God, but just how he was. When he smiled she swore she could see a happy future with him, and she wanted to fight to see it in real life.
He brushed away her tears, making her smile softly, nodding at his promising words. She wanted to be hopeful, and with him she felt stronger. Not physically, but rather in spirit. As if he was the guiding light through a dark tunnel. "Maybe I'll stay a few nights then," she smiled, as he had already seemed to like the idea of her staying. Her mother was busy, something about a royal meeting between the magical countries. It gave Enid some time to fly under the radar and spend time with who she always wanted to spend time with. His arms loosened around her, and she moved her shoulders in a few rolling motions, feeling how tense her body had gotten. She was relaxing more now, and his question made her look down. Thinking if what she wanted to ask would ruin what they had just agreed on. "How did it feel? To take someone's life?" she asked in a timid voice. She had never fallen, never killed anyone directly, so her aura had remained pure. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to ... I guess I'm just morbidly curious," she said, frowning at herself. Was she really no better than her father? The first fallen angel had killed in cold blood, making him fall from the heavens and onto the still newly created Earth. Was she destined to repeat that cycle?

She kept her gaze on him as he backed up to sit on the back of the couch. Never in a million years she would've thought she would get to see Dean like this, but alas, here she was, watching him struggle a bit to explain what he felt. The tale had no happy ending, she knew that, but it was as if she hoped to change it if she just closed her eyes, but she kept her gaze locked on him. Anger was an emotion Enid knew about a lot, despair another one to follow, but she had never wished in on anyone. She let him sit there, explain everything and get it off his chest. Understanding his train of thought when he said that he wanted to believe that he had done something good despite killing someone. "It's alright," she assured him with a soft spoken voice. She couldn't pretend to know all the answers, and was it really her place to judge one thing over another.
But then he asked something that made her feel so estranged, not from him, but from how her life had been before she had met Dean. She thought about it for a few minutes, taking some deep breaths to calm herself from the memories she had. "People in Hell are already dead, so killing someone down there would be pretty pointless," she admitted, hoping that he didn't see it as her acting snobby. She shifted her weight a little, folding her arms in front of her chest. "When I got to Earth, everything was different ... But I never killed someone directly; But I didn't have to to feel what that sin meant for the soul," she said, looking at his deep brown eyes as it seemed to calm her. "And yet, the soul can manage to overcome that tear it has made in itself, it finds way of healing and mending and become almost as new," she said, walking closer to him, standing between his legs. Kissing his forehead softly, she closed her eyes, and stood close to him. "I can take away your sin ... I can take away your pain, all you have to do is say the words," she promised him.

She sighed as he wrapped his arms around her waist, closing her eyes as feeling close to him always made her react so strongly. Smiling at him as he said that he wouldn't let her use her powers, and she felt a little relieved by that fact, even if she wanted to take away his pain. His addition made her chuckle, mostly because in her eyes heaven worked in strange ways. She had heard of witches going to heaven and angels being damned to hell. Nothing truly was weighed out, at least not how Enid saw it. "As if there's a spot for me? The daughter of Lucifer, feasting amongst God's other angels?" she said with a small giggle, shaking her head a little. She knew that death was a part of this world, but she didn't know if it was going to be something she herself would get to experience.
His hands were warm against her skin, making her move closer, placing her arms on his shoulders. Tilting her head to the side as she could see the cogs turning, and his question made her look into his eyes for a while before her lips separated to reply. "I've only passed through it ... Never stayed there long as it is not really a place for a Morningstar," she said, moving her hand up to play with the hairs on his neck. "I've been to Hell, to Heaven - even the place between where lost souls dwell in the abyss of nothingness," she said softly, leaning down to kiss him tenderly. "But the only place I ever wanted to go, growing up, was Earth - It was like I knew my destiny was to be with you, to meet you in this realm and for you to teach me so much about it," she whispered against his lips.

It felt good just to have Dean here with her. All her worries seemed to disappear whenever he was around, in a way she couldn't quite describe it. Perhaps this was what true love was. She hoped it was, because it was beautiful and strong. When he said that he needed her, she couldn't help but smile, her eyes turning soft as she just looked at him. She needed him as well, but she knew it was pretty clear from the way that things had played out. Of course both of them were more than capable of protecting themselves, but it was something else to have something to stay alive for.
She had hoped they could've just let it be for now, and maybe do something together. It had been ages since she had seen him, and if she was being honest, she really just wanted to relax and be with him in the moment. However his question was of course understandable. "No, I haven't ... And honestly I don't need to to know that I would never love him," she said softly, moving her hands around on his shoulders, massaging them a bit. "A date haven't even been set yet, at least not what I know of, but I overheard my mother speaking about it being before summer was over," she said, hoping it would help down the line. It was frustrating, really, that she had no control. When she was with Dean, she didn't feel tied down, at least not in a bad way. He gave her freedom along with a relationship, something she was sure that marriage wouldn't give her. She kissed his cheek, nuzzling her nose against him as she closed her eyes.
"I hate it when we're apart ... I don't feel like myself," she whispered. She knew she belonged here with Dean, she knew that he was her destiny, even if she would lose him to time. "But when we are together, all that sadness vanishes and all I feel is happy that I get to be here with you," she said, breathing out in a silent sigh.