Summer Part-Time

Chance was nothing like Nickie. He smiled and maybe chuckled, but it was very rare he had such a laughing outbreak. He didn’t know if it was because he was surrounding himself with people who couldn’t make him laugh like that, or it just wasn’t in him to. He nodded when Nickie said he was okay. It was good. He already worried about him, which really pissed him off. He knew his life would have been easier without Nickie. It would also be lonelier, emptier. He couldn’t get both. He either had to decide if he wanted it easy or empty. It wasn’t an easy choice to make. He had no idea what he was laughing about all of the sudden. He was a little weird, but it was interesting. ”But I would feel bad if you fell, and I bet you feel bad about me feeling bad about that. So aren’t we just skipping a bunch of badness?” He wasn’t sure if badness was even a word.

Chance tilted his head slightly when he stated that he could walk, he narrowed his eyes a little. ”You could have fooled me,” he said with a larger smile than most he had showed that night. He did like teasing people a little, as long as it was meant to be funny or cute and not hurting. Chance looked at him when he talked about France. So he finally guessed. ”More than I like to admit. My mother had her reasons to take me away from there, but I feel she misses it too. So we don’t talk about it.” He noticed how he began walking differently. He was just about to ask about it, before he sat down to tie his shoes. ”Your foot. Does it hurt?”

Nickie couldnt helt but smile a little by Chance´s word play, about them feeling bad all together, but that still wouldnt remove the feeling of feeling a litte guilty, that the one with the bad legs, now had to push his bicycle, but then again, maybe it was a good thing. The larger smile he sent him, made him feel like the pain that he went through right now, was worth it. It felt great talking with Chance, walking side by side. He smiled a little to him once in a while. He stuffed his hands into his pockets, before looking in front of him again, just like Chance had ordered him to. He began letting his thoughts run wild.. how Chance maybe was in a relationship?. Was he dominant?.. also how he would be to kiss, was he the type to push someone down into the bed and then just drown in each others lips. He looked at little away from him, nervous that he would see him blush, while he tried to thing about something other than Chance and kissing those lips, that properly tasted like smokes, but still.. it was almost like it was a becoming.. thought now...

He listened closely to Chance talking about France.. how he missed it, which made his face drop. * maybe he would end up going back there one day then.. *. He nodded a little, trying to not feel a little broken by the news, but it was also understandable. Mostly.. he actually felt bad for Chance. " I´m sorry to hear about that. That must be tough ". When he sat down to tie his shoelace, he looked up at Chance when he asked if he was okay, if the foot hurted. It did.. and he didnt want to lie to Chance, so he just said. " Yeah, i hurts a bit, but its okay, i think i just twisted it, so the pain will pass ". He then quickly got up to the side of Chance, before walking again side by side with him. He tried to walk as normal as he could, and it wasnt really that bad, but sometimes the pain could be seen in his face.

He looked to the front of them. Gaia town. He almost felt heartbroken inside, what if he never got to meet Chance ever again?, could this really be the last time maybe. He followed Chance, since he had said that he wanted to follow him home. As they stood in front of Chance´s apartment complex, he couldnt help but wondering. * How does his room look.. *. He made a little sigh, before he said " So.. i was thinking ". He felt like he had to take all the courage he even had inside of his body and now use. " Could we maybe meet up tomorrow?, or could i get your number perhaps?, just to hang out tomorrow. There is something i want to show you, but we will need to go like 8 in the morning, if you are up for it ". He waited to hear if he was. If he wanted his number, he would give him it,

Chance had never really thought of types. He know what he thought was pretty in a girl, but with guys it was different. He didn’t have much experience. So far he had only felt attraction toward two men and they were very different. It wasn’t their looks that mattered to him, it was about how he felt around them, if there was chemistry between them. He felt it in his body, his heart beating faster, a tingling in his skin. And then the fact that kissing them seemed to be all you could think about. He could check off all those when looking at Nickie. He just begged he wasn’t a supernatural that could hear his hurried heartbeat. Maybe Chance was letting it get to his head, but because Nickie was blushing so often, he thought he might be interested in him which just made it even worse.

Chance didn’t really have many people back in France waiting for him. It wasn’t his home anymore, even if that made a knot grow forward in his stomach. He never thought he would feel like that about France. ”I can’t do anything about it now. I just hope to feel at home here soon.” He felt like he was adrift, constantly floating between Gaia and France. And then of course in his sexuality as well. ”Are you always so clumsy?” He said it with a smile playing on his lips to not make it sound like an insult.

Chance stopped in front of the apartment, hesitant to go up without some sort of conclusion. His eyebrows lifted a little when he said he was thinking about something. ”Yeah, okay.” He took forward his phone and gave it to Nickie so he could type his number and he would the same if Nickie gave him his.  ”Just text me where and I’ll be there.” He put a hand on Nickie’s upper arm, giving it a soft squeeze. ”See you tomorrow.” He went inside, looking over his shoulder before entering the door into the apartments.

He nodded a little to that about feeling more at home here soon. He had something in his mind, but he grew a little uncertain if it was the right thing to do, maybe it could make him yern even more for France?, but then again, he wanted to make him happy, to see a smile over his lips once more. He stood a little in his own thoughts, before suddenly hearing Chance ask him about his clumsyness. " Oh no, it only when i get nervo.. ". He suddenly stopped, realizing that he had spoken before thinking. " I mean ". He smiled embarassed, before scratching himself in the neck, trying to come up with something, and FAST. " Sometimes i am, it depends on the amount of luck i have, i guess ". He laughed a little at his words, it wasnt a lie, but then again, he didnt tell all the truth, by just slithering around it like that, but he couldnt tell Chance that he made him nervous, then it would be so obviously, that he was starting to crush on some total stanger, that he had just MET!?!, like who did something like that.. Him, jep.. he did something like that. He felt like facepalming himself.

He felt how fast his heartbeat became when Chance agreed to exchange numbers. He held his phone forward and took Chance´s, before typing his own number in, under the name. Nickie, and then with a crystal ball at the end, just because, and also because he was a witch, but Chance didnt know, he couldnt.. could he?.. was he even human himself?. He looked at Chance, before handing him the phone again with a smile. " Like that ". He nodded when Chance said that he should text him when and where, before feeling the hand of Chance´s how it layed on his upper arm, he looked at it, feeling like his heart almost stopped, before feeling the little soft squeeze, making him slightly blush. He looked up to his eyes with his spring green eyes, before nodding a little " Y-Yes.. see ya ". Nickie gently got up on the bike, before looking to see if it was okay to cross, before he started cycling. He looked back just for a second, and could have sworn.. that Chance did the same.

When he came home, he was immidiately greetet by Night, before calling his mom, so he could tell her all about his day, and also show the picture of the sunset, but.. he had totally forgotten, that he had taken af picture of Chance to. Then he had to explain who he was, or.. who he had been told, and how he had drawn him, and how sweet he was and dreamy, also showing the drawing, and he also told her about how he had helped him when falling. " He is a real gentleman mom ". He smiled, before saying " By the way, i´m thinking about taking him to London tomorrow, so i will be up at seven, so we can catch the train by 8, sooo.. i wont be home til late tomorrow. I wanna do something real nice for him, cause he said that he hoped to feel more at home soon, and i know that they have that french street in London, in.. was it south kensington?, where there are french restaurants and bookstores and stores and well, just french decour and houses, so i think he will feel home there, and his mother too ". He didnt say why, about his mother, cause even if he talked about everything with his mom, it just didnt feel right to share EVERYTHING with his mom. He then took something to eat, got up and changed out of the half dried clothes, before taking a long bath and then finding himself sitting at the corner of his window, looking down onto the street, how people passed, while he was wrapped inside of his duvet, with some warm tea.

Night accompanied him, before he stroke Night and talked a little to him, before smiling over his face and then looking up to the skye while sitting there. He couldnt wait for it to be the next day, to show Chance the french section of London, how he hoped it would be something good and not something that would upset him. He kissed Night´s head, before looking a last time down at the street, before he got down and walked over to his bed, placed the cup on the nightstand, before turning off the light and then went to sleep, after setting his alarm, not knowing if he should write to Chance. He had tried writing something almost every hour he had been home.. but each and everytime he had deleted it. He just hoped that Chance hadnt noticed, since he wasnt stupid.. he knew that some phones had the dots.. so one could see if they were writing but then again?. they hadnt started a conversation, so could he?.. He slowly went to sleep after that, before sleeping with his phone in his hand, next to him, almost hugging it to his body.

Chance didn’t know if he would ever stop missing France. It was where he had spent his whole life. It just wasn’t easy to leave all that behind. He had come to know Nickie had a habit of blurting something out but stopping himself before finishing the entire sentence. However, this time, he hadn’t done it quickly enough. It was easy to make out the last letters of the word. He was clumsy when he was nervous. And he was nervous, because he was with Chance, it had to be why, right? Otherwise Chance was even worse at reading social cues than he thought. ”I must be unlucky,” he suggested with a smile.

Chance went inside after they had exchanged numbers. He knew he had to find a reason for being away the following day. He didn’t know how long he was going to be gone. He looked at her when he entered. She was sitting in the living room, asleep. He walked to her and put a blanket over her, kissing her forehead and going into his room. He fell down on the bed. Why was he even entertaining this? Wouldn’t it be cruel of him to spend more time with Nickie? He was fairly certain Nickie at the very least felt attraction for him. It wasn’t because it wasn’t returned, but how did he explain his situation with his mother? Would Nickie be able to understand? No, he couldn’t.

Circe listened to her son speaking high praise of the boy he had met. ”That is all great Nickie,” she said, her eyes warm and caring, then turning more serious. ”But be careful. Not everyone will appreciate your kind nature. Some might even take advantage of it.” Her expression changed back into a calm one. ”Now go on, eat. I will make you something you can take with you tomorrow.”

Chance had fallen asleep without even realizing it. He rubbed his eyes and sat up. He looked at the clock on his bed table. Fuck, it was 7.30. He jumped out of bed and hurried to change his clothes and otherwise get ready for the day. He went out to see his mother in the kitchen. She informed him she had made breakfast. ”Sorry, gotta run. I’ll be home later.” She blocked him from leaving. ”Are you seeing that boy again?” Chance narrowed his eyes. ”Were you spying on me?” The conversation happened in French. ”No. I am not seeing him. I have to meet up with a friend. A girl. Happy?” She didn’t look so, but let him go anyway. He hated lying to her, but he didn’t really have much choice. She would never let him live his own life otherwise.

He ran all the way through the city until he reached the train station. He quickly moved through all the people until he got to the right platform. He searched for Nickie before finally spotting him in the small crowd. He walked to him with hasty steps. ”Sorry I’m late,” he said. ”Come quickly,” he said and got on the train. He walked through the train with Nickie, looking for an empty compartment. When he couldn’t find one, he stopped in front of one with two girls inside. He opened the doors and looked at them with a smile. ”Bonjour.” The girls looked at him with an almost dreamy look in their eyes. ”Would you mind letting me borrow your compartment?” One of the girl shook her head and they both stood up. He moved away from the door and let them leave. He went inside and sat down, waiting for Nickie to do the same. He didn’t understand why people were so quick to do as he wished, but it came in handy sometimes.

He looked at his phone. * We could always take a later train, it would be okay.. he wouldnt.. ditch me?, would he *. He looked down a little, getting more and more nervous, thinking that Chance had actually ditched him.. and not wanted to see him, but he held into that little hope, that it wasnt what had happened, that he had just slept over himself, yeah?.. it was probably just that. When he suddenly looked to the side, he could see someone almost running towards him through the crowd of people before realizing that it was actually Chance. He stood up straight, before smiling from ear to ear, when he noticed Chance. " You made it! ". He shook his head a little, before saying " No, its okay ". Before he quickly walked with Chance onto the train.

When they couldnt find any empty compartment, Nickie just looked at him a little before leaning against the wall. " It dosen´t matter, its okay. We can just sit with some people ". When Chance stopped in front of one with girls, he looked a little hesitant, before hearing the nice ring of French.. before seeing the girls look at him, making his expression drop a little. He didnt know why, but he had noticed how people looked at Chance, and also turned to look at him, like some kind of candy they just had to taste. Suddenly when he asked if they could borrow it, he raised his brow a little, looking at him like it was a weird situation?. Why would they agree?. He looked closely at Chance.. no he couldnt be a vampire, there wasnt any rings?, and no feel for the vampire near him.. but he could be wrong?.. or could he.

He moved inside the compartment before sitting across Chance, with the little table to the side of them, before he smiled and put his bag up to the side of him, finding the bentos. " Soooh.. i kinda, well.. my mom and me, made these, she insisted to help, but yeah ". He looked a little embarassed, befor placing the neatly bentos on the table, looking at Chance a little, with his morning har, how cute he looked. It made him smile, from the bottom of his heart, warmth was clear to see in his eyes, as he looked at him. " So? did you sleep well ". He tilted his head a little, while gazing at Chance for a moment, before getting up and then walking over to the door, locking it, and then taking the curtains for, just so they didnt have to be disturbed, since it was a three to four hours long trip to london, kensington south. He looked at Chance a little with a smile, before taking his phone up, as to see when the train would be going, just as he took his phone up and moved over to sit down again, the train started to move, making him fall forward right at where Chance were sitting.

He placed his arms protective against the wall, before finding himself standing over Chance, with his green eyes looking into the mist, almost close enough to taste his lips. " S-Sorry ". Even his words would hit and tingle at the lips of Chance, is he had as sensitive lips as Nickie himself had. He slowly got up, before smiling a little embarassed, clear with the blush over his cheeks. He sat down again, before looking out the window, holding his arm up and the elbow down to the table, so he could get support from it, while trying to hide himself blushing.

Chance couldn’t explain it, but Nickie had really gotten under his skin. He had not been able to think about anything else since they met. He was in over his head. It sucked, because he really just wanted to be as close to him as humanly possible. He shouldn’t think like that. Not when he had a girlfriend. He saw that large smile and it just warmed him up inside. ”Of course.” He walked onto the train.
”No, I got an idea.” He went to the girls and convinced them into giving away their compartment. He knew they most likely would. He didn’t know why he could do those things, he just could. He hadn’t thought much about it.

He looked around a moment before looked at him when he spoke. ”Great, I’m starving.” He looked inside the box and nodded in satisfaction. He moved his gaze to him without lifting his head. He was looking at him again. He really didn’t mind. He should fight it, but he couldn’t. He made a shrug. ”It was alright. You?” He fell back in the seat and looked out on the train station as they began moving.

He was surprised when he suddenly felt Nickie right in front of him. He turned his head to him. He felt his breath brush over his lips. He really was close to leaning in and make any distance between them disappear, but he moved away before he could. ”I know how clumsy you are, it no longer surprised me, Chochotte.” He leaned forward looking closer at him. ”Is it possible for someone to be so unlucky. Or perhaps you want to be close to me?” He stood up and moved over to sit beside him. ”You can just ask, you know.” He smiled at him, gently pushing his shoulder. ”You really are too cute.” He ruffled up his hair.

He smiled from hearing that he had slept well, before he himself, looked away a little from Chance, so it wasnt so obvious that he hadnt gotten any sleep almost. " I ". He took a bite of the food, before swallowing it. " I slept quite well also ". He lied, or well not entirely, because he had slept for like, some minutes. As he stood up to close the door, he soon found himself over Chance, before looking at him embarassed over being out into such a situation, before hearing his words hitting him like stones, how clumsy he was. * Why couldnt i have been blessed with luck instead *. Little did he know, that Chance was actually luck in French. " Chochotte? ". He tilted his head a little to the side, as Chance once again said a word he didnt understand, he really needed to learn French, so he could keep up with him. When Chance leaned forward, he leaned a little back, while looking surprised at him, as he had not seen it coming, before hearing his words.

He looked down almost in shame, but a little smile was clear to see over his full lips, before he looked up with surprise, as Chance asked if he just perhaps wanted.. to be closer to him. OF course he wanted that!?, but he couldnt tell Chance that, could he?. He had gotten a little mixed feelings inside about him, as if he didnt really know where he had him and then again.. he acted like someone who was into guys, but he was not yet sure, not before he stood up, moving over to him and then sat besides him. He blushed so much from it all, before moving a little to the side, so Chance could better sit at his side, before hearing his sweet accent, the words that followed. Outside the landscape was beautiful and radiant, birds singing, and the cities passed, before the country side could be seen. He looked to Chance when he said that he was really too cute.. pushing his shoulder. He looked down for a moment, feeling his lips almost dry up, so he had to lick them discreetly, before looking over at Chance with his green eyes, matching the fields behind him, outside the window of the moving train.

Slowly he smiled, before trying to adjust his hair, laughing a little, before looking for a moment.. just quick.. but still.. he looked at Chance´s lips, feeling how the desire swelled up inside of him. He looked into the mist with such desire, confident.. fascination. He slowly moved closer to Chance, parting his lips ever so slightly, feeling his whole body almost pulsating with desire, to feel the lips of Chance´s, to taste if they really tasted like the cigaretts he smoked yesterday.. if he tasted different today.. or just in general. He suddenly found himself sitting there, starring at Chance´s lips, before looking up into his eyes. " I-I need to go to the bathroom ". He quickly got up, before almost jumping past him, before he got over to the door and opened it and then walked out, all the way with such haste to the rather large bathroom, before closing the door, and then turning around, gliding down it, before he sat there, looking into his knees that he had take up to his chest. " Why.. did i freeze " It had been the perfect moment, but now he was here.. in a freakin bathroom. He looked down to his crotch, feeling it in his entire body, how he longed to feel him. He closed his eyes and gently pressed his head backwards towards the door, with a gentle bump.. before just trying to breath slowly.. trying to calm down his body.

Chance didn’t think to dig much into the fact that he didn’t seem to have slept well. He thought he had a pretty good reason to lie, and he was not the greatest at hiding what he felt, so if he did feel the need to lie, there really was no reason to talk about it. He smiled when he obviously didn’t understand what the French word meant. ”It’s something you call a person who is acting very sweet, but it’s more in a teasing way.” He wasn’t sure there was an English word that fit.
He knew it wasn’t always easy with him. He was not always very clear in what he wanted. Especially not when it came to men. He often needed people to demand what they wanted from him, and Nickie definitely didn’t seemed like the type to do so. He saw how Nickie moved away just a little. What a pity. He watched him as the green landscape flew past them in a blur. He noticed now how much his eyes bare resemblance to the green fields rushing by them.

He wanted to take the first step, but he didn’t dare. He was afraid of the rejection, and what if he then told everyone what happened? His mother would lock him away if that happened. So he tried to tell Nickie without flat out saying it. Telling him that he liked spending time with him. He sat back defeated when Nickie ran away to the bathroom. Had he pushed him too far? He looked towards the door. He couldn’t just sit here. He went out and looked around. The girls from before were standing in the middle of the train. He walked past them and further down the train until he got to that little balcony-ish thing between two carts. He lit a cigarette and bent over the railing, blowing out the smoke. He should probably make a decision soon. He was clearly freaking Nickie out, which had never been his intention. He was just trying to flirt. But maybe that was enough. Was it possible he really had been so grossly mistaken by Nickie? Maybe he didn’t like him. Maybe he just ran off because he felt like it was awkward. He took another inhalation of the smoke, feeling the air push through his hair. He looked up when one of the girls from before came outside to him. ”Hi,” Chance gave her a nod as a greeting. ”Can you spare a smoke?” He pulled forward his pack and let her take one. He expected her to take the lighter, when she didn’t and just pushed her head forward, he took the lighter and lit it for her. ”Where you going?” Chance shrugged. ”Not sure. I just followed along.” She smiled flirtingly at him, batting her eyelashes.

He just sat there staring into the wall, before finally getting up and then moved out of the bathroom, before he walked down to their compartment. He looked inside when he opened the door with a " im sorry for.. running away? ". He looked around before closing the door. * no i didnt.. i didnt scare him away by almost kissing him, did i?.. *. He felt the knot in his stomach, how scared he suddenly felt, before moving through the train, looking all over, before finally seeing him, stopping right at the moment where he saw the girl go forward with the head.. taking the smoke with her lips and then him lightning it. His words cut through him.. probably because he mistook Chances words. He looked at Chance, with a sad expression before turning around, waking into the door next to him, which made a crackling sound, before he hurried to walk away from the scene of flirtation. * how could i be so stupid.. hes not into me.. look at me.. hes a ten and im an 8.. at best.. i will never be good enough *. It felt like a hard kick to the stomach. He just moved along the train cars, before opening the door to their 'room'. He sat down, before looking out the window, trying to calm down, but he could feel it.. the already strong feelings in his body.. was this his very first love..

Chance barely looked at the girl. He wasn’t interested. He looked up when he heard a creaking sound from close to them. He just saw Nickie disappearing through it. He hoped he didn’t misunderstand the situation. He was not trying to start anything with the girl. He had tried starting something with him. He followed him back to the area reserved for them. He stopped at the door and looked at him for a moment. How was he supposed to tackle this? He ended up going in, closing the door and sitting down. ”Are you okay?” He didn’t want to hurt him, but he felt like he had been, however unintentional. ”Please look at me.” He would hate if he ever brought tears forward in those beautiful green eyes. How could he fix this? Maybe he shouldn’t. ”Maybe I should just get off at the next station.” He didn’t want it to be awkward or bad between them. And if it was, he would rather just avoid the situation entirely. He stood up and walked towards the door, throwing one look back at Nickie.

He made a little jump when Chance suddenly came inside, since he wasnt prepared for it at all, he had thought that Chance had something going with smoking girl?, he couldnt already be done.. could he?. He looked at the Chance in the reflection of the window, to embarassed to look at him at the moment, before hearing his voice cut through the silence. " I´m fine?. Why shouldnt i be ". He knew that he lied right now, but he didnt want to trouble Chance, but it was written all over his face. When Chance suddenly almost begged for him to look at him, his eyes widened, as he turned his head towards him, but only to hear him say that maybe he should get off at the next station. " Why? ". He looked at him, feeling the dagger at his heart even more.. how it pushed into him, as the pain spread in his body from just looking at Chance.

When he suddenly stood up and walked towards the door, he quickly got up, before grabbing around Chance, not knowing how he should save this?, or what he was even suppose to say?. " I´m sorry! ". He closed his eyes a little, still holding around Chance, trying not to get a reaction in his nether region. He looked up at Chance´s back, before saying " I´m not angry, i just.. i dont know, i.. you just took me by surprise when you called me cute and touched me, so i just.. i just had to go, i´m sorry, i´m not angry at you Chance, please.. stay ". He didnt know if this had ruined the whole trip, but he already knew that he would beat himself up about it later.. how stupid he felt, ruining this.. it had been such a perfect moment and now, it would be forever tainted by his own mistakes. He slowly let go of Chance before sitting back down, with a little sigh escaping his lips. He didnt dare to look at him, with eyes almost tearing up from how stupid he felt.. letting Chance feel bad, it wasnt fair.

He looked at the window for a brief little moment, trying to hide his pain, but it was almost impossible. " I feel stupid ". He closed his eyes a little, before saying " I wanted the trip to be perfect, but i feel like i have made a fool of myself and even you. I.. i´m into boys Chance, so.. when you called me cute and touched me like that.. i wanted to be close to you, i wanted to touch you.. ". He looked with red cheeks at Chance this time, before saying " I´m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. It wasnt my intention. I promise i wont... push anything over on you, i asked you as a friend on this trip, not because i had hoped to gain or get anything, all i wanted.. was to make you feel more at home here ". He looked down. He didnt know why he was so honest, but honesty was the best he had right now, or else.. more misunderstandings could happen between them, and he didnt want that. He smiled a little, before looking at Chance again, this time with a genuine smile. " I didnt know i would feel such a relief after saying that ". He hadnt met much judgement in his days, so he could do nothing but hope.. that Chance wouldnt judge his sexuality, but actually judge him only as a person, that was truely vulnerable and opened up to him, at this very moment.

Chance could see why Nickie might think he was interested in the girl, but they were just talking. It really wasn’t anything more. He let some air move past his lips in an exhale when he said he was fine. Did he just say it to get him off his case? Or was it because he really didn’t care? He didn’t look at him when he asked why. Why indeed. ”I thought that’s what you wanted.” He couldn’t see what else to do. Things were so awkward and difficult. Was it not supposed to be easier? Or maybe the fight was what made it worth it. And he really wanted to fight.

Chance felt his heart skip a beat when he grabbed him. He turned to look at him, blinking a few times. ”I don’t want to go. I just didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He wasn’t sure if Nickie wanted him around, at least not that close like before. ”Don’t worry about it. We’re good.” He smiled at him before he let go. He stayed by the door a moment. He wasn’t sure how handle this. Should he keep his distance. He honestly wasn’t sure what Nickie wanted right now.

He crossed his arms when he said he felt stupid. He was about to assure him he wasn’t, but then he continued. ”Nickie, I know you like boys.” It really was no surprise to him. ”You didn’t make me feel uncomfortable.” He went closer to him, standing in front of him. ”You never asked me what I wanted. You wanted to come as friends, and that’s fine. We can be friends. But…” He took in a sharp breath and bit his lip a moment. He couldn’t say it. He could tell him that he didn’t want to be just friends, even if that was exactly how he felt. He had to think of everyone involved, and he was really screwing up royally by even entertaining the idea of starting something with Nickie. He moved away and sat down on the seat across from him. ”That’s good.” Maybe he was a little jealous. He didn’t have the same courage to tell people such an intimate information about himself. ”So where are we going exactly? You never said anything and well… I’m a cat dying of curiosity.” No… That wasn’t the correct saying, was it?

He looked at him with a frown " No, not at all ". He never wanted Chance to go, couldnt they just.. stay good like this, forever. He followed him with his eyes, listening closely to his words. When he smiled to him and said that they were good, he smiled back to him, feeling like a stone got lifted off his heart, like he could finally breath again. When Chance suddenly said that he knew that he liked boys, he didnt quite know what he should say to it. If he had known, had he.. hit on him?, but it couldnt be.. he didnt seem like the type to.. but then again. He tried to thing about all the things, feeling like he almost got butterflyes in his stomach. " So.. do you like boys too? ". He tilted his head a little to the side, waiting for an answer, hoping it meant yes, but even then.. maybe he wasnt even his type. He hated himself for freezing, for just running off like that.. what if he hadnt.. could he had maybe.. kissed him then right now?, would it look different than now.

When he went closer to him.. standing in front of him, as he sat near the window, he couldnt take his green eyes off Chance´s misty blues, pulling him in, making him not ever wanting to break that gaze. He listened to his words and felt himself almost lose his breath, as Chance said that he never asked him what he wanted, and that they could be friends, but.. " But what.. ". He was almost afraid to ask, before seeing him take a sharp breath.. how he bit down into his lips for a moment, those gorgeous lips.. He looked a little flustered for a second, before moving his gaze away from Chance and then over at him, when he moved away and sat down across him, not giving him an immidiate answer to his but.

He tried to smile a little, but at the moment it felt uncomfortable and awkward. He rubbed his neck a little, trying to find something to say or do, before he heard his words. He smiled a little by Chance not knowing. " You will see ". He blinked at him, before laughing a little, trying to mask it, by holding his hand op in front of his lips, before correcting him. " Its called, curiosity killed the cat. Like, dont go looking for something, just to satisfy your curiosity, because it might kill you in the end ". He smiled a little, before looking out the window, still with the food placed in front of them.

- 2 Hours later -

There werent long before they would be in London and then at Kensington station. He smiled a little by the thought, before looking at the now disappeared food bento in front of him. He felt that everything had died down and they could finally relax. He layed down onto the seat, before taking his headset in, holding one near Chance, as to ask if he wanted to listen with him, before closing his eyes and then folding his hands underneath his head. He could just barely lay there, almost with his body stretched out. He smiled a little as he fell into sleep almost.

Chance was happy he didn’t want him to go. It was the only reason he even considered it. He didn’t want Nickie to be uncomfortable around him, and he was scared he was. He had hit on him. He had tried not to, but it was very hard not to. He was just so cute and good-looking, with his hair almost impossible to tame. The green eyes always showing his emotions. His eyes really were a mirror into his soul. He realized he was staring and looked away. He froze a short moment. Did he like boys? He didn’t look at him. He didn’t know what to say. It was a personal question, that he wasn’t ready to answer. He knew, he had for a while. He wasn’t ready for the whole world to know. ”No…” He still didn’t look at him. It was not easy for him to lie.

Chance was confusing right now, he knew it. He hit on him, and when he was flat out asked if he was into men, he said no. It wasn’t easy to know what he wanted. That was why he had really tried to not flirt with Nickie, but it was really hard not to. Again with the hard-hitting question. ”But not before you tell me that you prefer France over Italy,” he was trying to avoid what he was actually going to say; that he wanted to be more than friends.

Chance was curious as to what he had planned. It was something about making him feel at home, he gathered from the thing he said before. ”How exciting,” he said and wiggled his eyebrows. He looked at his hand when he put it up in front of him and continued to correct him. ”Such a weird phrase,” he said with a smile. He couldn’t say that the French had sayings that made any more sense than that.

- Time jump -

He had eaten the food, talked with him about all the small things. He had deliberately avoided any heavy subjects. He felt like they had already been through that. And he had to lie to get through it. He really didn’t like that he couldn’t just tell him the truth. But it had to happen in his tempo, and he just wasn’t there yet. He really envied Nickie for his ability to just be himself completely, taking whatever that might bring. He was so strong, and he felt weak in comparison. He didn’t have the strength to tell the world to go fuck itself. He looked over at him when he held one side of the headset to him. He tried having it reach over the table, but quickly had to realize it wasn’t long enough. Instead he moved to the floor next to him. He leaned against the seat, dangerously close to his upper body.

When he heard Chance say that he wasnt into men, his heard dropped, right then and there, all his hopes, his dreams, how he had looked at Chance, what he had maybe considered doing, everything died inside of him, like getting his soul sucked out from trying to spell bind a demon, which was never fun and definitely NOT easy, but right now, he would rather help his mom, doing some powerful spell casting, that felt like ripping someone into tiny pieces and then blending it all together, than hearing those words from Chance´s mouth and beautiful lips, that formed the hardest and most harsh no, he had ever heard in his entire life. He looked at him a little like he didnt know what to believe at first, since Chance also didnt looked at him, but he dropped it after a while, as in.. he held his pain inside, not showing it on his face, but still trying not to look at Chance, especially not into his eyes, since his heart and soul had always been so easily seen and written in his eyes.

He looked confused at Chance when the conversation suddenly changed to something completely random. " What? ". He tilted his head a little, before looking at Chance, then starting to laugh. " I havent been to either France or Italy, so how would i ever know?. But if i should say one of them right now?, it would be France ". He smiled at Chance, before looking out the window for a little while. He laughed a little, when he heard that he found it to be such a weird phrase. " I think its a form of old saying, since back in the day, cats easily got killed, if they strayed to long away from their home, but then again, i actually dont know for sure? ". He smiled a little and asked " What about in France, do you have any weird phrases?, i could hear remotely translated into english ". He leaned against the window while looking at Chance for a moment, still with a smile over his lips, trying to forget the pain inside.

As the minutes passed, he just looked at Chance, since he had choosen to sit against him. He could feel how his hand almost ached to touch the hair, how soft it must have felt. * No i cant.. *. He closed his eyes a little, before slowly.. moving his hand over towards Chance, looking at his hand, knowing that it was wrong but he just had too.. feel it, just once. Softly and with such a gentle touch, he placed his hand on top of Chance´s head, before looking at his hand and then at Chance´s. Gently ruffling up in it and feeling it, with the biggest smile on his face.

Chance was tired of this secret, but how could he come out when he knew what it would mean. His mother would hate him, so would Echo. He just couldn’t think about himself right now. It just made him so sad to have to tell Nickie he wasn’t into him. Because he was. And that just made it so much worse. He really did like Nickie, and he knew that eventually he would fall for him if he didn’t take distance to him. And by doing so he would maybe hurt Nickie and without doubt hurt himself, so was it even worth it?

Chance chuckled at his words. He apparently didn’t understand what he truly meant. ”Good answer,” he said with a smile. He listened when he explained about the saying. It made sense. When he asked for French phrases, he came up with so many. ”There’s a lot.” He picked out two he liked the best. ”Ce n’est pas la mer à boire. It translates to “it’s not as if you have to drink the sea.” It means it’s not difficult or hard.” He continued with the next. ”Mieux vaut être seul que mal accompagné. This translates to “better to be alone than accompanied badly.” That one is pretty self-explanatory. That it’s better to be alone than with somebody who treats you badly.”

He listened to the music, drumming against his bent knee to the rhythm. He looked upwards when he felt the hand on his head, the fingers moving through his hair. He turned his head to look at Nickie. How was he ever going to get through this day without feeling those lips? He looked at him a moment before turning away.

The last words he had spoken had hit him hard. It´s better to be alone than with somebody who treats you badly. He hoped that Chance didnt see him as someone that had treated him badly, but then again he also knew that they were just sharing some words from both their languages. He smiled when Chance turned to look at him, maybe a little too much, but still he kept the smile as soft as he could, before turning his gaze away, like he was saying, that he didnt want to stop touching the hair. He continued to gently massage Chance´s head, feel the hairs against his sensitive fingers, how it almost gave him goosebumps, before he finally saw the start of London. He smiled for himself, before he looked down to Chance, gently tapping his shoulder. " We are there ". They had gone from London station to Kensington, fast travel.

He packet the bentos before taking the headset and put in his backpack, before swinging it over his shoulders and then onto his back. He felt his heart flutter a little, like it was now or never.. this day could go horrible wrong or outstandingly good!. He looked at Chance, before saying " Come!, i cant wait to show you ".




Nickie stopped as they finally arrived a place, where there were made beautiful houses with flowers in the front, french style handwork, and even the restaurants here and bookstores and clothing was french branded and had french names, and the owners as well here, was French. He looked to Chance, before taking his hand, guiding him over to the street and over a line that was made. " Welcome to little France, in London ". He smiled over his face, hoping that this would make Chance happy. " I heard you saying that you missed France, and also that your mother did, and none of you really.. could talk about it, so i thought.. why not show her this place, its like.. taking some of France to both of you ". He made a hand gesture towards the place, so they could walk through the street, taking in the French scent of food, and hear some even speaking French there too. " So where do you want to go first ".

Chance continued to feel Nickie’s hand to move through his hair, massaging his skull. He closed his eyes a moment and disappeared into these feelings. What if it could always be like this? What if he never hid away from everyone and just were. He drifted away to an almost sleep-like state. He was so relaxed. More than he had been for a long time. He opened his eyes when Nickie tapped his shoulder and announced their arrival. He got up and ran a hand through his hair to put it back into place. ”I’m coming,” he laughed at Nickie’s excitedness.

He didn’t know what to expect of this. Nickie had been very tight-lipped about it all. He looked down at their hands when they melted together. He looked around as Nickie explained what it was and why he had brought him here. His eyes wandered from the bakeries to the bookstores to the restaurants. This was so amazing. Nobody had ever done something like that for him before. He felt how his stomach was aflutter. He was afraid he was going to float away from how light his body felt, like he was not even standing on the ground anymore. He was so overwhelmed by this, not the place, that felt like and it was really nice, but what really overwhelmed him was Nickie and the lengths he had gone through to make this happen, to make him happy. He didn’t realize how long and large he had been smiling before he felt how his cheeks were aching. He let his gaze fall to Nickie. His smile dropped a little. Where did he want to go? Nowhere just yet.

He let go of Nickie’s hand and instead placing one on his neck and the other on his jaw as he quickly leaned forward and placed a kiss on his lips. They were as soft as he had imagined. He knew how confusing this had to be, but he couldn’t help himself. He had no other ways of responding to this. It was just so incredibly sweet and kind. Wouldn’t it be a mistake to let him go? He pulled away from the kiss just a little. He didn’t know how Nickie was going to react to it. Maybe it was wrong of him doing so without even asking if Nickie wanted to, but he did kind of express that he liked him, hadn’t he? Or maybe he was misreading everything and had just made a big mistake.

As he jumped past people, holding Chance´s gentle but rough artist hand, he could feel himself almost pulsating with energy, like he couldnt get down from the high cloud he had reached. He just hoped deep inside, that it wouldnt add on to Chance´s problems thoughts or home sickness, but rather cure a little of the pain, like a band aid. He stopped jumping when they finally got thought the long tunnel, before reaching the stations entrence, going a little bit away from there and then turning the corner, to little France, a special place for mostly french people, that longed for the frenchness from time to time, a place of a true parisiana, or whatever they liked to call themself now a days. Nickie himself was so excited, that he didnt realise, that he hadnt let go of Chance´s hand, since pulling him all the way through the crowd of people, before they had reached the streets.

He looked to Chance with eyes that told of pure happiness, before feeling his hand being let go, which made him slightly flustered, as he hadnt even realised, that he had hold on to him still. As the smile disappeared on Chance´s lips, he first thought he had done something bad by bringing him, or maybe it was the hand holding in public?. He looked at him with such a warm gentle gaze, as he felt his hand on his cheek, before feeling the other on his jaw, slowly pulling him into the kiss almost. The lips were warm and welcoming, gentle and tasted so sweet, but also a little.. like his favorite brand of cigaretts, a taste he could easily get used to, if he could continue to feel these lips against his. As he had leaned into it, felt them, massaged them gently with his, in a breathtaken moment, speechless they left him, as Chance pulled away from him, leaving him yearning for more, much more.

He didnt want to stop it. He gently wrapped his arms around Chance´s neck, before reaching up towards Chance with his lips, catching his again, as he found himself standing on his toes, almost melting by the lips. He slightly parted his lips, letting his gently suck down on Chance´s lowerlip for just a brief moment, before he let the kiss slowly.. disappear, as if it had never been there. He looked intot he mist, how he had grown so found of the blue misty eyes, starring back at him. He could almost see his own reflection, the yearning for Chance, almost radiating from him. Gently he let go of Chance´s neck, before looking down with a most flustered expression on his young face, red cheekbones and nose bridge, clearly not knowing how to look at him, or even act around him right now, before he started to bite down into his own lowerlip, that caved from the pearly white teeth, pressing its full self to the side a little, before he let them go, as he took a deep breath and then looked at Chance, with a smile. * So he is into boys.. that couldnt have been just.. or maybe he didnt know.. or is in the closet.. *. So many thoughts followed, but as he kept looking at Chance, he felt himself fall harder and faster than ever before.

Chance was so curious to what Nickie had planned. He ran through the tunnel, feeling the soft hand in his own. He would have no problem running with Nickie like this for a lot longer, but like all good things, it came to an end. They rejoined the world. He didn’t for once think what people would think about him holding his hand. It was not like he was going to see all the other people here again. He didn’t have to be afraid of judgment.

Chance didn’t want Nickie to feel like he was pushing himself on him, he made the kiss gentle and non-committing. If Nickie wanted to stop, he could do so without problem. He didn’t feel any resistance from Nickie, so he took that as a good sign. He felt how Nickie messaged his lips, causing him to sigh dreamingly into the lips. He then pulled away. Even if Nickie tasted so sweet, he still didn’t want it to be overwhelming for him, or himself for that matter. He looked at him for a long time. Too long, maybe. He just couldn’t look away from him. He was looking so beautiful as he stood there, his green eyes reminding him off the grass in the spring.

Chance was surprised when he reached for his nick and pulling himself into another kiss. He moved his arms around him, holding him close, feeling the smaller but muscular body underneath his touch. He was really good at this. The way he wrapped his lips around his own lower lip. He was out of breath when their lips parted again. Not because the kiss had been that long, but because it had been so good. He gently let go of him, looking at him. He was beginning to realize what had just happened. He didn’t regret it, but maybe it would have been better done in a more private setting. He looked around them and let go of him completely. He looked at the different stores again. ”Come on, I want you to taste a mille-feuille.” He looked down at him, more specifically his hand. He gently let his fingers touch his hand, before his hand melted together with his. Unless Nickie resisted, he began walking towards a bakery.

Nickie looked embarassed around them, since some people had stopped to look at them, before someone was going towards them, not looking all to happy that they had kissed puplic, but some woman stood forward, before clapping and smiling at Nickie and Chance. The man stopped for a moment, before looking at her and then shaking his head, as he walked away. Nickie smiled to her for a moment, before turning to Chance, when he took his hand, as he felt their fingers intertwine with each other, melting almost by his touch, before he nodded. " I would love to try a?, was it milla-feuilla? melli.. no wait!, it was a mille-feuille you called it right? ". He looked almost proud, as he was most certain that he had gotten it right this time, before walking hand in hand with Chance over to the bakery, hoping that he wouldnt be tainted by the man that had tried to approach him, but then again, if he looked around a little, he would see a pride flag here and there. People on this street was very open minded and not so judgemental, especially when it came to sexuality.

Little France did some call this place, a free minded place for people, where they could enjoy the French life in the heart of England, or almost. He smiled a little for himself, as he looked to Chance as they entered. He looked around since he had never actually been inside, because he had heard them talk French so many times, and he knew no French at ALL.. but also because it had scared him, being a place where he didnt even understand the signs. He was a little nervous that he had to taste something with egg and milk, since he didnt do that anymore, as a vegan.. but he would do it for Chance, he just had to not care for a day.. but then again, could he really call himself vegan?. He shok his head a little, before saying to himself inside his head. * Just this one day, near him, he could break his own rules. He looked at all the pasteries and the delicious cakes, before finding the one called Mille-Feuille. He smiled a little, as he looked at the delicious cake, before saying " It´s this one right? ". He found his card forward, before waiting for Chance to order, if not, he would try to order two, one for each of them. He smiled at Chance. This had been the right decision.. even if he.. he wasnt into guys, it felt freeing.

Chance blushed slightly when somebody clapped at them. He wasn’t sure how to feel about that. In reality, was it really that big a deal? Would people clap if it had been a heterosexual couple that kissed in public? If not, then why clap at two men kissing? He just thought you should treat all people equally no matter sexuality, religion and so on. What did all that even have to do anything anyway? He smiled when he first tried to get say it, before finally getting it right. ”Yes, you got it,” he took him into the bakery and took in a deep inhalation. He loved the smell of French pastries. It made him feel at home, and a little homesick, but he just smiled. No need to make Nickie feel bad. He had already done so much to make him happy, and he was. He had never been happier since getting here.

He was surprised how everyone seemed so open-minded. It was like that in France too. Except his mother, of course. He had no idea Nickie was vegan. He would of course not force him to eat something that was not to his liking. ”You’re not allergic to anything, are you?” It was best to know, at he would probably order a few things for them to try. But definitely the mille-feuille. He watched Nickie as he looked through the cakes, before locking his eyes on the cake in the spotlight. ”Yes, that’s the one.” He looked at the expedient and began a conversation with her in French. If Nickie had told about any allergies or that he was vegan, he would ask for anything to avoid milk, eggs and so on or whatever he was allergic to. ”How about you find a place to sit? I’ll be right over with the cake,” he said with a smile. He couldn’t stop smiling whenever looking at Nickie.