I was trying to... Something! - Tidus

How many days had passed, since she had returned from Bali? She wasn’t even sure anymore. Hiding away in the cottage she had inherited from the old couple; she had been able to avoid most of the people that would want to see her return. Although her body was healed, her mind definitely wasn’t - which had led to her not daring to face anyone from that period in her life. Although she had tried to remain in solitude, she had been sent word that Tidus had some pressing matters to discuss with her - and when the Don demanded once presence, ignoring the demand wasn’t an option.

She looked like something from X-men, wrapped in a few too many layers of clothing - jeans, boots, a t-shirt, a cardigan, a jacket, a beanie and a pair of gloves. The only thing she needed was a mask, then no one could touch an inch of her skin. She still wasn’t comfortable with being touched, so getting through the airport security had been a proper nightmare. Her hair had grown a bit, making her braiding it to one side, making it easier to maintain.

In calm movements, she moved through the headquarter, only to be met with whispers, glances and fingers pointing at her. She knew that rumors of her disappearance would emerge sooner or later, but she had not expected to return to an episode of Gossip Girl. She walked past one of the men she had known to be particularly violent with her back when Jasper was the Don - which made her flinch in a slight movement as he raised his hand and placed it on her shoulder. He chuckled at her reaction, letting go of her with a harsh movement. He mumbled something about her finally knowing her place, which made her look down at the floor, as she moved to the bathroom.

It smelled the same as last time she was there. Didn’t they clean this place? Memories rushed over her, reminding her of how gentle both Tivo and Tidus had been with her, as she had broken down completely. she had treated both of them very poorly… A bitter taste filled her mouth. She would have to face Tivo sooner or later, and it would be either painfully hurtful or a pure bliss. She, of course, figured that he would be hurt and vexed with her. For a moment, she looked at the mirror. Her nose was slightly crooked now, from the beating she had received. It still ached when she breathed in too deep, and although she had tried many times to heal it, her fingers still burned when touching things, as if her nails was being torn from her skin all over again. She wasn’t okay, and she wasn’t going to be okay for a very long time. She sighed, as she left the bathroom, only to spot the one person she wasn’t ready to face, mere feet away from her. She froze for a moment, before she remembered that she was going to meet Tidus in his new office. She looked down and away, as she moved closer to Tivo, trying to get past him without him noticing her; a thing she had been known not to be very good at in the past.

outfit + looks

Tivo - outfit and looks

It´s been long… way to long since Tivo had seen Cassandra. She had been to Bali, finding herself and escaping from the mafia. Which was… fair enough. But he had missed her a lot. So, when she finally was there, right in front of him, his light shined bright like a diamond. She looked down, clearly trying to avoid his gaze, but he did not let her have it. Maybe a bit to eager, he walked towards her with a little smile hidding on his lips. He was still a bit confused about the whole situation. After she had returned, she had been ghosting him for two weeks. TWO WEEKS. And he had no idea why. He had played so many scenes of what he could have done wrong... but he just couldn´t figure it out.
“Cassandra!” his voice sounded. It was filled with happiness... but at the same time... anger.
All the happiness he felt suddenly turned to anger. He stopped a few meters from her and looked down in the ground. She wasn´t here to see him. She was only here for Tidus.
Annoyed he growled and stepped aside. His gazed was lingering at the ground. Even though his heart screamed of looking into Cassandras beautiful eyes.

On the other side, behind the wooden door, Tidus was sitting at the desk and writing on a fix little laptop. The officer was redecorated. Nothing should be a slightly bit reminding of his father. Instead… this room screamed Tidus. Old fashioned furniture’s and warm colors. All these portraits of his father and the former Techniques were gone. Burned to ashes.

Cass immidieatly froze as she heard the werewolf’s voice; a voice she had grown to love during her stay with him. The happiness she was used to hearing in his voice turned to anger, which made her feel even worse about it all. As she passed him, she heard his low growl; a growl that sent shivers down her spine. She wanted to plead with him to understand, but she wasn’t there to explain. She had been asked to go see Tidus - the new Don. Whatever she wanted to do had to wait. Therefore, even though all she wanted was to explain to Tivo why she had ghosted him for weeks, she had a meeting with her new boss first.
She moved past him and further into the corridor leading to Tidus’ office. The office itself was the same office as Jasper had used, which made Cassandra a bit uneasy, as she knocked on the door. She didn’t wait for Tidus to answer, before she opened the door and looked at him with a careful glance. ‘’You have a minute?’’ she asked, a bit cautiously. She moved inside the office and closed the door behind her by pure habit. ‘’I heard you might want to talk to me?’’ she then asked, but she kept her distance. It wasn’t just Tivo she had been ghosting; she had been avoiding all of them since she came home from Bali. She bit the inside of her lip, as she looked slightly down, avoiding his gaze.

Tidus was growling lowly at the computer screen. A possible and slightly powerful man was pissing him off. They had a deal, but for some reason the man decided to jump of in last second. Now he was apologising and asked for Tidus forgiveness. The young demon closed his laptop with a loud slap and leaned back in his chair. Exhausted he massaged the space between his eyebrows.
"Those ass lickers... all so fucking exhausting!" he mumbled to himself.
Just in that moment, none other than his favourite person stepped inside the room. She had been so silent the last few weeks. A silent treatment Tidus was unfortunatly starting to get used to.
He stood up with a little smile and nodded to her. "Sure, come in, come in!"
Casually he started to walk over to her. If she let him, he swang his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. He mumled lowly into her shoulders, before letting go of her again and walked over to his chair. "Yeah... I wanted to... uhm..." he then discovered the rum on his table. "You uhm... want something to drink?" he looked over at her. The blue eyes shinning in the dim light. "You can also just... sit down... if you want to of course!" He refered to a comfortable chair on the other side of the desk.
All of sudden he felt so nervous talking to her about this. Careful he sat down on his own chair and took a big sip of his own glass of rum. With a loud tod, he placed it back on the table and shook his head. "Right! I wanted to talk to you about... the mafia.... I... as you can see... I reformed it... or... It´s beggining to be reformed... but I need to know from you..." he looked up into her eyes. "Will... you still be a part of it?"
Fore some reason his heart was beating like a drum solo at a rock koncert.

For a brief moment, she felt it all coming back to her. The endless hours bent over Jasper’s desk, with Jasper on top of her. The lonely evenings hiding away in her home, trying to refrain from calling Tidus and beg him to forgive her for just leaving them. Worst of all; the memory of what had happened before they found her. She breathed in deeply, trying to calm herself, as Tidus moved closer to her in eager steps, swinging his arms around her in a tight embrace. She didn’t want the physical contact - she feared it so dreadfully, but she allowed it only because she knew how much it would hurt Tidus if she pulled away.
‘’No,’’ she just said, as he offered her something to drink. She sighed as she collapsed down in the large chair opposite to him and the big desk. ‘’You know that I will,’’ she then said, quite calm as she looked at him. ‘’So, you’re reforming the mafia.. To what?’’ she then asked, almost dreading the answer. Did he really want to continue calling it that? A mafia? Were they still going to be the bad guys that people feared owing money to? Or, as they had discussed earlier, would the reform the mafia completely, and remold it? She wasn’t sure, and knowing was something she would prefer.

‘’How’s he doing?’’ she then asked. She looked down slightly, as the question left her lips. She felt terrible for ghosting Tivo after what they had shared right before she left. She had admitted her weakness - her feelings towards her - and that scared her tremendously. She feared the answer even more, though.

It still made Tidus feel sick that she was freezing underneath his touches. But… he understood why. A monster had touched her, and its touches still lingered on her skin. Carefully, he bit his lower lip and started to play a bit nervously with his fingers. It was weird for him to be so nervous again. The last few days he had so much confidence and a strong façade, that even he was getting tired of listening to himself.
With Cassandra, he felt comfortable enough to let it fall.
As Cassandra said she still wanted to be a part of the mafia, Tidus eyes lid up in and he couldn’t help but smile. A smile that crumbled when he discovered how unhappy she was. Did she feel pressured to be a part of the mafia? Did she fear what he would do if she said no?
Pictures of her imagining him forcing himself on her, made him feel uneasy and therefore a bit restless. He constantly changed sitting position in his chair. “I… For now… I´m stopping the human trafficking. The drugs are still on. The men who treated women wrong are getting punished… don´t ask how…” he stood up again and shook a bit. “Small steps… I know… but… that´s why I also called you here.” he looked over at her. “I wanted to hear your opinion of how we could reform all of this.” With a swinging from his arms, he referred to the mafia. Quickly he purred some new rum for himself.
As Cass asked about Tivo, Tidus came with a low snort. He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. “He misses you Cassandra. He does not get why you are ignoring him. It´s hurting him and making him mad at the same time.” He took a sip of the rum.
“Why don´t you ask him yourself? I think he would love that.”
It was a bit tough said. But… Tidus was not happy for the fact that Cassandra was ignoring Tivo. Especially not after they had admitted their feelings for each other.

It all seemed surreal. In few days, they had grown up. Form being the sons and daughters of mentally deranged individuals, they now stood there with power and ability to change what they had only spoken of earlier. They weren’t kids anymore - yet she felt like curling up near a fireplace like a cat and sleep for days, only to hide away from the world surrounding her. She could sense how nervous the man in front of her - her ‘brother’ - was. It radiated from his very being.
‘’Chill, Tidus. I’m not here to grind your balls to a paste,’’ she said, as he seemed uneasy around her. Was he scared of her, or was he scared of hurting her? Either way, they needed to stop being so careful around each other. She only had him to lean on to, if he changed and pulled away, she would crumble for sure. ‘’If I’m going to be a part of this reformation, I need to know the details, Tidus. I’m not acting in blind fate any longer,’’ she said, rather sharp. Even though her body had healed quite well, she knew she still wore visual reminders of the assault. As she smiled to him, assuring him that she was in this with him, a scar could be seen from where her canines had been beaten out of her skull. Now, it was porcelain-teeth sitting there, slightly longer than her natural ones, mimicking those she would have owned if she had gotten more of her father’s genes in her. She could almost look like an animagus in her human form rather than her feline form.
‘’I follow you. Whatever you decide to do with all of this, I’m standing by you. I warn you, though. Your father made enemies, and you are surely a target still.’’ She said. Then, the topic turned to Tivo, and all of a sudden, Tidus seemed entitled to lecture her. She stood up from the chair and moved closer to Tidus - so close he would could feel her breath on the skin of his face. ‘’Why do you think I asked you? Because I find it fun to beat around the bush with his feelings? I avoid him because the last time I allowed someone too close, I got beaten and raped. I’m terrified of allowing him to even touch me, because the moment I do, I belong to him. He deserves so much more than someone used, beaten and broken, but thank you for the brilliant idea of asking him directly how he feels about me leaving the trail cold!’’ she said, rather agitated. Why? She was scared to death by the thought of hurting any of them. Tivo held a special place in her heart, and so did Tidus. Risking either of them getting hurt because she couldn’t handle herself scared her tremendously.
She backed down, moved backwards away from him; just a few steps. She looked down at the floor next to him, shaking her head slightly. ‘’Sorry… I shouldn’t be scolding you…’’ she said, sighing. ‘’I’m not ignoring him to hurt him. I’m trying to… I don’t know. I… I can’t risk him getting hurt like Josiah…’’ she said, now looking at Tidus directly. Her normally warm and brown eyes had lost their deep warming hue, now sporting cold undertones. She was in no way okay, but she wouldn’t admit that.
‘’Was there anything else?’’ she then asked, looking shortly at the desk, before looking back at him. ‘’If not, I think it would be better if I returned home,’’ she said, biting her lower lip slightly. She wasn’t comfortable being at the headquarters. The smell made her nauseous.
She didn't even wait for him to answer. Why should she, if all he wanted was to either ask for her help with the mafia-reformation, or scold her about avoiding his friend? She shook her head. ''If you want anything, I'll be at home. 445 Duncan Street, right outside Gaia.'' she said, looking shortly at Tidus, before she with hasty steps left the office. She opened the door, and without much care to look in the direction she was heading, she turned, only to be stopped dead in her tracks by her face pressed against someone's chest. She didn't even have to look to know who it was; she could tell it by the scent alone. She cursed herself in her thoughts, before she looked up slightly.
She wanted to say something, but what could she say that wouldn't sound like some stupid excuse? Her lips parted, only for her to look straight ahead; facing his chest once more. She would have looked down, but that would have been inappropriate.

He should have known that Cassandra could feel how nervous he was. Maybe that was the reason why he didn’t get surprised when she asked him to relax. He took a deep breath and started to relax just a tiny bit more.
As nod to he understood her request, he smiled weakly at her and then took another sip of the rum. The liquid burned his throat. It felt amazing. He understood that she wanted details. Not by a long shot was she going to take chances of being raped again. And not by long shot was he going to let it happen again. Men who raped would have their member cut off.
From a sweet little sentence that she would stand by his side, to now get a lecture from her and her golden dragon eyes. With him sitting down and her standing, she towered over him and abused that power it could give her. In the beginning he had a bad taste on his tongue for talking to her like that. Especially when she brought up the fact that she was raped. And not by anyone… by his father… his shitty father, that had abused the fact that she wanted to protect Tidus.
He looked away from her. Once again… he should hide what he felt. He should lock it in. Because… It was not important. What was important… was the people around him and what they felt.
Her little sorry, made him look up at her again and smile slightly. The mess she was creating in her head was weirdly enough understanding to Tidus. “I understand… sorry for the lecture.” For once he was short for words. He stood up as she decided it was time for her to leave.
The pain she felt. He understood it. He had lost Josiah too… and Elijah. None of them wanted to go through the same pain again.
When she came with her address, he nodded and then looked away. The tension was thick enough to cut through. And it felt like shit.
The door went up and on the other side was none other than Tivo. Thanks to the hearing of a werewolf, he had heard the conversation. His heart drummed so loudly and painfully. As Cassandra looked up at him, he looked down at her and sighed lowly. He had a look of anger and pain in his emerald eyes. She couldn’t risk him getting hurt like this Josiah dude… then why even say she liked him in the first place?
Without saying anything, the young werewolf stepped aside and turned his back to Cassandra. She hadn’t planned to talk to him anyway.

If Tidus had understood why she was terrified of being near anyone she cared about from the start, she wouldn’t have stood there and scolded him for talking to her like that. She knew that he cared for both her and Bienvido, but they were adults. They could handle their affairs themselves. She had simply asked how he was doing, and she had been repaid with a snazzy comment about asking the werewolf herself. Of course, she wasn’t the best at handling snazzy comments, so she had repaid that with a thorough explanation about why she couldn’t just ask Bienvido herself.

As she had left the office and faced the tall green-eyed werewolf, she had to admit that she felt horrible. She could almost hear his heart pounding, and from his eyes radiated both hurt and anger. Without a word, he turned his back to Cassandra and started to wander off; leaving Cassandra behind. She reached out by pure instinct and grabbed the werewolf by the wrist - immediately realizing her mistake, as they both got thrown back to one of those memories, she tried to hide from everyone - including herself. Bienvido had not been allowed to know anything about her past, leaving her a bit of a mystery. He had never known why she feared using blood magic, or why she was so terrified of ended up like her mother. He was about to find out.

The room smelled terrible. In the corner was a filthy bed, with sheets that had not been changed or washed for years. The room itself was decorated like a little girl’s dream; pink walls, princesses, fairytales and cotton candy were the themes that dominated the décor. The curtains had been drawn shut, and the only light came from the girl sitting on the floor in the middle of the room, drawing. The girl - without a doubt Cassandra, with her golden eyes - whispered as she tried to block out the sound coming from down the hall, of someone moaning and screaming in pain once in a while. All of a sudden, everything went quiet, before footsteps could be heard getting closer. Footsteps, that lead to the young Cassandra’s room, where her naked stepfather now stood, ready to take her as well. He moved closer, grabbed Cassandra and forced her onto the filthy bed - leaving her to scream and sob as he did as he pleased. Then it all went black for a moment…

The scent of the memory changed from filthy sheets and a mans cologne, to something weirdly familiar. She had been there hundreds of times; the asylum. Her mother - almost identical to Cassandra - was fastened to the bed with leather-straps, as she screamed and tried to reach her now grown up daughter. Words could be heard in a distorted manner; ‘I’ll kill you! I should have killed you when I had the chance! You should never have been born!’. Cassandra just stood there, tears running down her face, as her mother screamed those horrible things at her, right until her mother received an injection with something that made her doze off rather quickly. Once again, darkness devoured them, until the emerged once more, in yet another memory.

The apartment looked like the day she had left it. Their bags had still not been unpacked, as they had just returned from their trip back home to Brighton to announce their engagement to Joshias parents and family. It all had seemed so perfect - until the argument. Once again, the words were distorted, making them almost impossible to understand. Cassandra stood with her back forced up against the wall, as Josiah tried to make her look him in the eyes while he in a loud voice demanded an explanation. From there, everything went red. Cassandra tried to move past Josiah, but he forced her to stay put and talk to him. She told him to leave her alone, and even though he didn’t even lay a hand on her in a violent manner, all of a sudden, her nails had turned long and dark like claws, and she had teared open his throat in pure panic because she wanted to get away. Cassandra fell to her knees, trying to heal him, but her magic had drained from that instinctive usages she had just performed. She grabbed her bag, called the ambulance, and ran; leaving the lighter on the table behind.

As she left the apartment, they suddenly appeared back at Bienvido’s apartment, with a bleeding Tidus on the couch. The memory moved with a hasty speed, almost like it knew Bienvido already had seen that. It shifted to the hospital - where Bienvido told Cassandra that she loved Tidus, and Cassandra told Bienvido that she didn’t love, because loving someone only brought them suffering. ‘I don’t love,’ echoed, as the memory shifted for the last time, to the couch she had been tortured and raped on. The words, still echoing over the sound from the memory, as Jasper forced himself upon her. In every detail, Bienvido would hear, smell and taste what she did; the mixture of blood, tears, sweat and semen, all mixing up in her senses. It all went dark, as the sound of her words echoed once more, but they had changed. ‘I can’t be loved’.

Cassandra released his wrist, pulling her hand back to her like she had been electrocuted. She looked at the werewolf, while she tried her best not to collapse right then and there. If he made any sense of what he had just seen, she would no longer be able to hide the fact that she was nothing more than a beaten, broken and discarded plaything. She was worthless, in her own eyes. She just didn’t want Bienvido to think the same - but maybe he already did.

Tivo stopped walking as soon she grabbed his wrist. Just as he was about to turn around and growl lowly at her, they were dragged into memories. Memories there forever would hunt Tivo´s mind.
Everything he saw was as taking out from a thriller… a horrible one filled with blood and suffering. He could smell everything and feel it on his own skin. It was revolting. A tiny little Cassandra sat there, cried and now only to be raped by a monster.
Her whole life, men had treated her like a pile of garbage and made her feel like she didn’t deserve love. They even made her feel like she didn’t deserve to live.
Tears was starting to pile up in his green eyes. All these things.
The only loved she had felt died by her own hands. Her mate none the less. This was her reason to ghost him. She feared hurting him and even take his life away. This had never crossed his mind. Her past had been such a secret… he couldn’t have known.
I can´t be loved.
That sentence stuck with Tivo. She would be loved. She was loved. And he was going to let her know. Jasper should not be the one to break her. Nothing should be breaking her. She was strong and way to good for this world.
There didn’t even go a second, to when they were out of the memories, to he had swung his arms around her. He cried lowly down in her shoulders. “You are loved… I love you…” he hugged her tight. He was afraid to let go of her. If he did he might lose her forever. “I know it will take long… and you don´t have to say it back… but I love you… I really do…”

She was shaking, as the werewolf looked at her with teary eyes. She had never seen him upset like that - she had seen him angry, but never on the verge of tears. He had seen more than even Josiah had. Josiah had seen her files; the recordings of her mother trying to kill her and cursed her to hell, but he had never seen what her stepfather had done to her. In some way, she was relieved that the human died with some innocence left, instead of being left with no hope for mankind. The moment - briefer than a second - where they stood there, seemed like an eternity. She feared that now that he knew just how little she was worth, that he would just discard her like everyone else had. Instead, he embraced her while crying quietly down at her shoulder. This was surely not the place for such weakness to be displayed, while the whole mafia could see them.

She moved her hand slightly, to caress the werewolf on the back of his neck, as she with the other hand opened the door into Tidus’ office. It had been less than a minute since she had left the room, and now she stood with a crying werewolf in her arms. She backed her way into the office with him; guiding the way, even though her legs threatened to give way under her. She had heard his words; some part of her dreamt of believing him, but she was too scared to be fooled once more. She closed the door behind them with a flick of her wrist; showing that even though she still was rather weak in her mind, her magic had grown to more than it had ever been. She looked shortly at Tidus, knowing that the possibility was there for him to freak out over the fact that a grown ass werewolf stood there, crying. Quite gently, yet without Tidus hearing it, she whispered in the werewolf’s ear; ‘’Eres el hombre de mis sueños.’’. She knew that Bienvido would understand. She couldn’t say that she loved him - she was to afraid of those words - which was why she said what she did. It was her way of repaying his confession. She then looked back at Tidus, nodding at the rum - hinting at that his friend might need something to collect his mind, after what had just happened.

To Tivo this was not embarrassing. He had his right to be sad after what he had seen. She had been trough hell without telling anyone about it. So, he kept her there, safe in his arms and completely ignorant in what the other members must be thinking.
Completely trapped in the sadness, he didn’t really think about it, as Cass slowly dragged him into the office.
Lost once again behind a computer screen, Tidus was surprised to see Cassandra step in again, with none other than Tivo. A crying Tivo. Quickly as lightning, Tidus was next to them, concerned and about to ask what had happened. But he swallowed his words as she whispered something to him on Spanish. He knew so little Spanish, so he didn’t quite catch what she said. It was none of his business anyway.
Clearly the werewolf understood. When her words have hit him, he lifted his face from her shoulder and looked at her. His eyes were still filled with water… but now it was also mixed with love. He smiled warmly at her and nodded. His heart was beating fast. Her words have been enough for him. He knew she had a hard time confessing stuff… so to him… this was amazing.
Tidus had understood Cassandras hint and had now purred some rum up for Tivo. He gave it to him with a weak smile. As a thank you, the werewolf nodded and drank it all in one go.
The demon had no idea what to say. So, he stayed quiet. Let them have their moment in peace.

She knew that it might not be enough for him to hear those words. she understood if he needed more from her, to even validate whatever feelings floated between them. however, she couldn’t grant him more of her until she felt safe enough to do so, so for now, he had to accept that this was what she could give of herself. She didn’t have much left anyway.

Tidus’ reaction was understandable. She would have done the same if it had been him standing there, crying. As Bienvido had heard her words and seemed to manage to collect himself a smidge, Tidus poured him a drink. The werewolf poured the drink down his throat, while Cassandra looked apologizing at Tidus. ‘’Our friend didn’t seem to like what he saw,’’ she said, eluding to the fact that she might have shown Bienvido even more that she had shown Tidus. ‘’He knows about what happened back in Edinburgh… And Josiah.’’ She said, shortly looking at Bienvido before she shook her head and looked back at Tidus. ‘’You never told him what happened, did you?’’ she then asked, quite confused. Had Tidus never explained Bienvido what had happened with his friend - her mate? She understood that it was a hard subject of discussion, but still. It seemed weird not to tell such a close friend what happened. She shouldn’t be pointing fingers, though. She had not told Bienvido anything about herself, at all. Such a hypocrite.

As thrown back in the past, they now once again had to face the story of the Oakley twins. Especially Josiah. Nervously Tidus bit his lower lip and shook his head. Afterwards he scratched his neck and looked from Cass to Tivo. The werewolf went from knowing so little, to all sudden know it all, which he deserved. He had been dragged down in one of Cassandras memories.
“I… I think I told some of it…” Tidus answered and robbed his eyebrows tiredly. “I don’t think Tivo got to know so much about the twins… I told him that one of my good friends were dead and that my boyfriend had disappeared.” He looked questionable at Tivo. The werewolf could interrupt him if he liked.
Tivo sighed and nodded. He placed the glass on the desk. “yeah… that is pretty much it. You’re not an open book so.” He now looked over at Cassandra and smiled warmly. “But… it´s okay… better late than never.”
Without asking, he poured himself a new glass of rum.
“But now that we are here… anything else I need to know?” He looked from Tidus to Cass.

She knew why Tidus had not spoken loads about the whole ordeal; he had been hurt far more than she had when his boyfriend disappeared. She knew very little of the loneliness he had felt before they finally found each other again through the mafia. Cassandra looked shortly at Bienvido, before she swallowed hard. He knew some of it, but he could impossibly put all the pieces of the puzzle together from those random memories.

‘’Well, for starters, I am not a pureblood witch. My father is a draconian… Or, a dragon, as most would call it.’’ She rubbed her neck, slightly uncomfortable talking about her father. More often than not, months when by between them speaking, making it hard for her to even consider him family. She sighed, leaning up against the desk as she crossed her arms.

‘’What you saw… It’s only fragments… Bits and pieces that you needed to see, I guess. There’s Calsifer, but… Well… It’s hard to explain.’’ She said, not really sure if she even wanted to explain Calsifer to Bienvido. Yet, it was necessary that he knew why she had decided to run off that night where Jonathan had confronted her. Even thinking about the poor soul made her want to hide away and cry. She looked shortly at Tidus, before she looked down at a spot on the floor. ‘’Jonathan is my ex… It was him who saved me from the hell I grew up in. For years, we lived in Dublin together… About five years ago, we… I became pregnant. Up until then, I had used blood magic without any issue… A spell backfired, and four months into the pregnancy, I went into premature labour…’’ she said, looking at the spot on the floor still, as she didn’t want to look Bienvido in the eyes as she explained. ‘’Jonathan was devastated… I couldn’t cope with losing Calsifer so I ran. Like always, I fled from it all, finding my way to Gaia.’’ Finally, she looked up, only to look at Tidus instead of Bienvido. ‘’That’s why Jonathan and Elizabeth keep wanting to talk. They know about Calsifer,’’ she said, eluding to the fact that she had been able to conjure up the spirit of her stillborn son in the appearance of a dragon.

‘’Blood magic costs a lot. Something for something, an eye for an eye. I lost my son, trying to save Elizabeth from a werewolf.’’ She now looked back at Bienvido. ‘’I would have told you, but… Just like with everything else, hiding away the truth makes it less painful.’’ She said, looking down for a moment. ‘’And after all that happened with the Oakley’s, I just couldn’t see any happy ending for us. I still can’t. One day, I’ll end up hurting you too, and the thought breaks my heart, however little there might be left of it.’’ She said, looking directly at the werewolf’s eyes. ‘’Heck, I can’t even touch you most of the time… What kind of twisted relationship would that be?’’ she sighed, as she finally admitted to the fact that even if she was able to love someone, all the physical aspects of loving someone scared her to death. ‘’It was better to keep it all a secret, than to admit losing something I never had,’’ she then said, eluding to the fact that she already felt like she had lost the chance of being happy with Bienvido, even before they had tried.
Somewhere in her voice, the emptiness could be heard. She knew that she had failed her chance of being happy. She didn't want to rob Bienvido of his chances too.

It was a lot to take in. The werewolf did listen to it all though. He did not let one word slip past him. He wanted to know every little thing about her. The good and the bad.
Tidus also didn’t say a word. He let Cassandra tell her story. The story that was important for the werewolf to know. Each time she would look at him, he would smile comforting to her and lead her to carry on, without saying anything.
The explanation with Calsifer made Tivo swallow. It was heartbreaking. Losing a child was the worst thing that could happen to a parent. Even if it wasn’t born yet.
When all the secrets were at the table, it felt like she could finally relax, well knowing that there was no more. Tivo smiled at her and if she let him, he would walk over to her and hug her once again.
She feared loving him. Love did also bring pain. Not only happiness. So, he understood. More than she probably knew. He caressed her back with love and comfort. No matter how her past looked like, he would love her and take care of her.
“You know I love you… and that means… that I will take it slow and not rush you into anything…” he whispered so soothing. “I´m glad you shared all that with me. It means a lot.”
Tidus smiled at the scene. They belonged together. In their own weird way.
And more than anyone, they deserved to be happy.

It was a lot to cover. She hadn’t even covered half of it, making it even harder for her when Bienvido seemed to think it was done and over with. Everytime she looked at him, he smiled back at her, making her feel even worse to have hidden such a huge part of herself away for so long. As he walked over to her to hug her, she just leaned into the hug as she drew a big breath. His words punched her right in the gut, making her bite her lip to avoid tears welling up in her eyes. In some ways, it seemed cruel not to tell him the rest - but she could keep going to ages then, as her story almost shared the same number of pages as Harry Potter or Laura Ingalls.
He didn’t understand - and she knew that from the words he spoke. He would give her time, he would not rush her. How had that ever been an issue? She did not fear being rushed into something - she feared the turnout as she undoubtedly would do something that would hurt hum tremendously, either physical or mentally. She kept quiet for a moment, as Bienvido stroked her back in a comforting manner. It felt nice, being touched with affection rather than cruelty, but it was a feeling so long forgotten, than she had a hard time accepting that someone would show her such kindness. She knew that he thought of her as silly for fearing hurting him - he was a werewolf, how could she ever hurt as much as a hair on his head? Yet, she feared it all the same.
‘’There’s more…’’ she finally whispered; the voice so tiny that she almost sounded like a mouse. She looked at Tidus as she pulled gently out of the embrace. ‘’Jonathan sought me out because he had heard Calsifer might be alive…’’ she said, looking at Tidus still. Why didn’t she look at Bienvido? Because Tidus had seen Calsifer - he knew Calsifer in some way was alive. ‘’I lost him, that night with Josiah…’’ she then admitted, before she raised her hand; her fingers all crooked because it ached to stretched them out after they had been broken. With her fingers she drew a symbol in the air, which let up as she blew gently on it. The symbol turned to a small dragon - a dragon rather familiar to Tidus; Calsifer. The tiny dragon - no bigger than the palm on her hand - screeched as it stretched it wings like it had been dormant for years. The dragon looked around, only to have its eye land on Tidus. In an excited jump, the phantom-dragon glided through the air, only to land on Tidus’ arm and climb all the way to his shoulder. It made small purring noises as it then nuzzled up to the demon’s jaw, ever so gently.

‘’This… Is Calsifer.’’ She then said, looking at Bienvido with a careful gaze. ‘’He first appeared right after the birth of our stillborn son and… I don’t know. I think he might be some sort of spirit. Jonathan thinks I’m hiding our son but… In honesty, I’m not even sure that this ever was everything more than magic trying to soothe the heartbreak of losing our son.’’ She said, as she looked back at Calsifer. The little dragon lifted its head as soon as Cassandra looked at him, almost as if he was at attention. A low and far too animalistic sound left Cassandra’s throat - draconian - making the dragon jump through the air over to her and land perfectly on her shoulder, as she turned to face Tidus. The dragon all of a sudden seemed to grow, as she reached out her arm to allow the dragon to walk on. It reached the size of a large housecat as it reached the tip of her arms, before it looked at Tidus with a begging glimmer in its eyes. ‘’Remember how you wanted to pet him once?’’ she asked, smiling carefully at Tidus. ‘’I think he’s tired of waiting,’’.

More. There was more.
But Tidus and Tivo froze after this sentence.
Tivo could only imagine what would come next. What secret would be thrown on the table. Tidus on the other hand… as always, the demon went to alcohol when things were getting a bit to serious. He quickly poured up some rum and drank it even faster. Only to start eye contact with Cassandra as she started to tell about Calsifer. The blonde one smiled at her. Was she really going to…? His smile got even bigger when the symbol started to form a dragon. The tiniest little dragon he had ever seen. It was way to cute for this world.
When the dragon flew over to Tidus, he started to pet the dragon and tickle it under its chin. “Well hello Calsifer! Good to see you to!” Tidus looked like a child on Christmas day.
Tivo on the other hand. Stood with his mouth open and eyes wide. “A dragon… a dragon!?” he looked from Calsifer to Cassandra. “Your son… your son is a dragon… how… what… I…” totally surprised and confused, he started to swing his arms around. Which did not get better when Cassandra started to sound like a dragon herself.
Out of his mind, Tivo took a step back as the dragon now was the size of a house cat. His emerald eyes looked at Cassandra. “It… it got bigger…” he mumbled. Even his voice was a mess.
Tidus smiled at Tivo and then Calsifer. “In that case, get over here you silly head.” He stretched out his arm and waited for Calsifer. “Let’s go for a walk and leave mom and dad alone… then mom can calm down dad…” this sentence was said in a big teasing manner. With a smirk, he looked over at Cassandra.

She had noticed just how freaked out Bienvido seemed to be. ‘’Pick up your jaw, dearie. We wouldn’t want you to stumble over it,’’ she said, with a crooked smile as he exclaimed that it indeed was a dragon. Had he not seen a dragon before. Calsifer, being a prankster as always, spew fire into the air in front of the werewolf, letting him know that he indeed was a dragon. ‘’Behave, you little gremlin’,’’ Cassandra whispered to the dragon, before she looked at Tidus. Mom… She had not been called that since Josiah had gotten to know about Calsifer’s origin. For a moment, she wanted to ask Tidus to stop - but then he called Bienvido for ‘dad’, making Cassandra chuckle slightly. ‘’Keep him away from the food. I don’t want to clean that mess,’’ she said, as Calsifer in a nimble jump landed on Tidus’ arm like a cat. The dragon, although gentle and sweet, had massive claws and a good set of teeth. He could be dangerous - as Tidus had seen back then with Toothpick. Cassandra looked at Bienvido, slightly hesitant. ‘’I told you… I’m half dragon,’’ she then said, with an apologetic smile on her lips. She then bit her lip for a moment, wondering if she should even try to explain it all to him. It wouldn’t do him any go to know what had happened to her back with the birth of a stillborn son, yet it might have been better to just not have shown him anything at all.

She then sat down on the desk, crossing her legs and leaning slightly backwards as she rested her palms against the surface of the desk. ‘’What you saw… I haven’t shown anyone that. It is so long ago now…’’ she said, sighing. ‘’My parents were mates. They loved each other so much, but my father’s temper was bad. They would fight, and he would lose control; sending my mother to the ER… Once, he scorched her skin, almost killing her. He left her… I was born eight months later.’’ She said, before she looked at the werewolf again. ‘’When a witch’s mate leaves or rejects her, she dies… My mother’s death was slow and painful - making her unstable. I was so scared of ending up like my mother that I forgot to be careful of ending up like my father instead… I killed my own mate and then I ran.’’ She said, looking down on a spot on the floor for a moment.

‘’I never wanted to hurt you. The only love I’ve ever felt before I met you, was my mate. Even that, I’m not sure was real. It might as well have been the bond between mates that mimicked feelings…’’ she said, shaking her head. It pained her to admit that she had not felt a romantical form for love before Bienvido. ‘’You say that you don’t want to pressure me - that you want me to do this in my own time… But what if I end up hurting you too? What if you die, because I can’t control myself? I’ve already lost Tidus once - I can’t lose you as well…’’ she then said, before she looked back at Bienvido. ‘’Besides… I would understand it if the whole dragon-thing is a bit too much to handle.’’ She said, looking at him with a careful look on her face.

Tidus nodded to what she said. Before her and Tivo could even blink, he had taken the tiny dragon with him and disappeared out of his own office. The door closed slowly and just before it hit, you could hear a voice saying: What on earth is that on you arm Tidus!?
Tivo had started to calm down. Especially now since the dragon was gone. He had never believed in dragons. And here it was… she was even a dragon. The love of his life was a dragon! He tried to calm down his beating heart, as he listened to her story. And boy. That was some story. Her parents had sat such a print on her. A print there was hard to erase.
Once again, she admitted she feared hurting him. He sighed and smiled. Calmly he shook his head and stepped closer to her. “If you end up hurting me, I will be standing strong and take every beating you could give me.” Careful he took her hand and caressed it before taking it up to her lips. “You´re not gonna lose me. The future is filled with surprises and I only hope to share it with you one day.” He released her hand and tilted his head as he admired Cassandra. “The dragon thing was a lot to swallow… but… I like it. You are special. There is no one like you, so of course you´re dragon… I should have told myself that! And your son…” he looked at the door. “I just have to get used to him… I´m sure I will end up adoring him.”

She chuckled at the demon as he disappeared with the dragon on his arm. Although he had called Bienvido ‘dad’, it seemed to not be the worry that the werewolf wanted to have at the moment. Instead, he seemed to have accepted it all once more. Did he even understand what he accepted? Did he understand what she was? He had seen her before she was a mess and a wreck - but was that the woman she had fallen in love with? What if she disappointed him, being broken and bruised? All those doubts, making her fear what would happen when he grew tired of her. He stepped closer to her, making her look at him once more. She then nodded slightly, as he explained how he would stand strong and take every hit she could muster… It wasn’t how love should be, was it? Being beaten by the you loved… But she couldn’t help but feel like it felt wrong of him to say so.
It seemed weird to her, that he just accepted every last part of her as if it was the most natural thing to do. Josiah had done the same, until he had found out that she hunted humans for sport. Then, he had freaked out, leaving her feeling wrong once more. She had not told Bienvido - or Tidus - about her hunts. Since she had joined the mafia, it had not been needed to go hunting - she could be violent when she wanted to, under the command of a Don. His lips against her hand made her shake her head slowly. ‘’You better get used to that little gremlin, because I’m not sure Tidus will ever let him go,’’ she chuckled in a low voice, as if they shared a secret.
In a careful movement, she stood up from the desk, looking up at the emerald-eyed werewolf with a careful smile. ‘’I owe you something…’’ she said, before her hand slipped behind his head to rest on the back on his neck. Then, just as she had done that night in front of the pharmacy, she stretched her body and lifted herself up on tip-toes, looking him in the eyes. ‘’I can’t wait to share those future surprises with you,’’ she whispered; her sweet breath reaching him like a luring song in the air, before she stretched her body the last few parts of an inch to allow their lips to touch in a tender and yet careful kiss. However, unlike the last time she kissed him, she didn’t pull away. Instead, she pressed lightly against him in pure instincts, as her body had craved the taste of his lips for what seemed like an eternity.

He knew she was not perfect. But neither was he. He would accept every little flaw. In his head, he knew that if she ended up hurting him, it wouldn’t be on purpose. Therefore, he stood here and felt like pulling her towards him once more.
When she said he better get used to Calsifer, he couldn’t help but chuckle and look back at the door. “Well, I´m used to someone like Tidus. What does a baby more, mean?” with a glint of teasing, he looked back at Cass and waited for reaction. Just like him, she knew how much trouble Tidus could create around himself. And he always had no idea how to get out of it.
She careful stood up and ready to take her into his arms, she now walked closer herself and removed the space between them. His heart was a chaos as she spoke. Her voice was luring like the voice of a siren. Their eyes were locked. He couldn’t look away and even if he could, he didn’t want to.
Time was standing still when she pressed their lips together in at kiss. It was so tender and yet careful. Scared of she might pull away a bit to fast, he placed his arms lightly around her and closed his eyes. He kissed her back. It was like being in heaven. Her lips were silky smooth. For so long he had craved to taste those lips one more time.
His arms rested around her hips. Carefully one of his hand traveled up to rest on her soft cheek.

She had heard his teasing comment, yet all she seemed to care about was the feeling of his touch. Had it not been for the reason events in their lives, she would have shown far more passion and intimacy in the kiss; but the body remembered what the mind tried to forget, making her restrain herself from even leaning properly into him.
She felt his arms around her waist in a light embrace, making her sigh gently against his lips. For a moment, it seemed like time was standing still; allowing them to lean into the intimacy they both seemed to have hungered for. Then, she felt his hand wander from her waist to her cheek, making her whisper against his lips: ‘’You better not let me go again,’’.
She wasn’t ready for the intimacy any sort of relationship would demand. She couldn’t even show her own skin, let alone allow others to touch it. It felt like she was denying him something so primal and instinctive that it seemed unfair. Yet, he had told her to go slow; to take her time. He seemed in no rush, to her great relief. She had feared losing them both, and as she stood there with her lips against his, she remembered how it was supposed to feel when lips danced by desire and not by force.
In a gentle motion, she allowed one of her hands to glide from the back of his neck to his chest; resting the hand right on top of his beating heart. He was so warm under her touch, making her recollect how she once had been a walking heating pad herself. As life had shown her horrors and heartache, that heat seemed to have left her entirely, making her feel more or less like ice if she wasn’t wearing enough clothes. She felt how his heart was beating like wild horses, making her smile against his lips. ‘’I guess you’ve missed this too, huh?’’ she chuckled against his lips, before she finally broke off the kiss, only to allow her lips to dance down the skin of his jaw and neck for a little while. Even though she had been fearful of being close to someone again, her body demanded it. It acted purely on a primal drive for feeling him; tasting him; smelling him… She needed it all. Even though, she eventually would realize that she needed to stop; making her lips rest against the skin of his neck for a moment.

To Tivo… this was like being in heaven. His lips were pressed against an angels’. And hey… if Cassandras meant she was a demon, then Tivo would gladly take the escalator down to hell.
Her words made him smile and put his forehead against hers fore some time. He would rather die than let her go. “Never… I promise you that.”
To him… it didn’t matter that they didn’t jump into the intimacy. Just to have her here meant more than the world to him. Their lips were still so close. He could feel her breath on his lips. And god… it felt amazing just to be this close to her.
Her next word made him chuckle a little, but before he could answer, she let her lips wander down on his neck. This made him inhale a shaky little breath. He sighed lowly and caressed her back carefully. He knew that they wouldn’t go further. But it still felt amazing.
As he was about to kiss her again, the door opened with a loud BOOM and in flew none other than Calsifer. He was squealing around and landed on Cassandras head. Right back after him, came Tidus running and stood in the doorway.
“It´s not easy being an uncle!” he chuckled and looked at Tivo. Afterwards he looked at Cassandra. A tiny smirk came on his lips. “Am I interrupting something??”

Somehow, she wouldn’t mind this to be the rest of her life; her, safe in the arms of a man that loved her. She rested her lips against his skin; smelling the faint scent of musk that made her insides twist and churn as it demanded more than just the taste of his skin. In a gentle movement, she reached her lips up to his ear, before she whispered gently; ‘’You don’t know how I have wished for you to do this since I moved in with you,’’. It was no lie; she had craved his tender kisses and hands on her hips for what seemed like an eternity. An eternity that now seemed to have passed.
It all seemed to go on forever - and yet, as quickly as it had developed to lips dancing, just as fast had it been crashed by the demon that entered the room with a chuckle. Calsifer had landed on her head, making her sigh quietly. ‘’Uncle Tidus needs to learn how to knock!’’ she said, as she turned around to face the demon; still with Bienvido’s arms around her waist. Some part of her found it amusing, whilst the other part found it extremely annoying. Calsifer climbed down on her arm and shrunk in size until he was the size that would fit in the palm of her hand once more.
‘’If you have to ask, then you surely know the answer, Mr. Cockblocker,’’ she said with a slightly crooked smile that matched his smirk. She caressed the dragon under his tiny chin, making him purr lightly. ‘’Or, what do you say, Bienvido? Is he interrupting?’’ she then asked, as she leaned up against him; pressing her body slightly against his.