Unexpected - Ellery

Kenna had enjoyed spending so much time with Ellery lately. She was happy they were finally together for real. She hadn't spoken much with Nathaniel, which she still found a shame. She wanted them to be on good terms, especially now with what was going on with her and Ellery. She was currently walking down the beach towards the house. She was clinging to her bag like her life depended on it. She had noticed the symptoms and she was slightly terrified. Not only did she feel the symptoms you normally would, something deeper told her things had changed. She was acting more on guard, worried about something happening to her. She was jumpy.

As she reached the house, she stood by the door a moment before finally knocking. She knew Ellery thought she was always welcome, but in respect of Nathaniel, she was still going to knock. She took in a deep breath and thought over what was going to happen if she really was pregnant. Ellery had mentioned he wanted to have a family before taking his rightful place, but was this really the way he wanted it? Unexpected and so early in the relationship? She didn't know if she was ready to be a mother. Nevertheless, she had bought three pregnancny test. She had to be sure. How far along she was, was not something she had bothered to think about or try to calculate. It seemed premature. Yet, she couldn't stop from imagining how everything would change if it was the case. She had even wondered if the child would be siren or werewolf, before she even knew if there was a baby. It was stupid, but her mind was impossible to stop.

it had been days since he had been out. Ellery had disclosed the ‘news’ as soon as he had been alone with his brother; leaving Nathaniel with no one to turn to. Ellery had made it official with the circle, declaring that he was the leader now; making Nathaniel a part of the circle once again. If felt wrong. Not only that, but he had now almost no time in town, as it took over one bloody hour to get there. Frustrated and tired, Nathaniel had decided on just staying in the night before, instead of going out with his friends. He had no interest in hooking up with anyone. The blonde demon had not even made a sound, leaving Nathaniel ghosted. The evening - and the night - had been spent with cigarettes, beer, chips and one episode of Sex And The City after another. It still was on, as he had dosed off in the early morning hours.

As it knocked on the door, he woke with a confused jolt. He sat up on the couch, wondering who could even be bothered checking in on him. Normally Ellery would take over after sleeping, but since Nathaniel had so little time in the body at the moment, he had the control still. He didn’t know for how long though. He stretched, got up from the couch and rubbed his face, before he grabbed one of the semi-empty beer cans from the coffee table, and emptied down his throat before he rather hoarse almost yelled ‘’Come in!’’. He then placed the now empty beer can on the coffee table once more, before he stretched out once more. He wore nothing but sweatpants; as he usually did when he was home alone.

He had to talk to his brother about the whole thing of making it official with Kenna. What did that mean to Nathaniel? They weren’t dating, so… Should he just stop seeing Tidus because of his brother and Kenna? He didn’t know, and Ellery had been too busy to even consider letting his brother have a word in the matter. Nathaniel looked at the door, awaiting whoever had knocked to enter.

Kenna waited outside for either the door being opened or her asked to enter. When Ellery’s voice sounded through the door, she opened the door and went inside. By the state of the house, she suspected it to be Nathaniel sitting in the couch. She walked closer and leaned over the back of it, looking at him. ”Party for one?” A smile was placed on her lips, but her eyes showed something worried her. She wouldn’t want Nathaniel to worry about that, so she tried her best to hide it. Not that she was very good at that. Her face was showing her emotions like it was an art gallery. She had been able to hide some things with Nate, but now that he was no longer in the picture, that guard was beginning to crumble.

She had thought about what this would all mean for Nathaniel. He had a life too, and maybe he didn’t want to be in the house. She had planned on talking with him about it at some point. It just hadn’t seemed right. They were still not on speaking terms. Not like they have been. She straightened her back and looked towards the room that hand once been hers. ”Do you mind if I use the bathroom?” She had hoped to do this with Ellery present, but maybe Nathaniel was better. He already was a father, so maybe he would have a better handle on things. She wasn’t sure. He just wasn’t emotionally involved like Ellery was. She might need someone to be objective in this. There was a chance he was that more than Ellery would be able to.

Normally, he wouldn’t have minded the werewolf as she entered the house. However, since their last encounter, he had been more or less banned from the body. He had apparently hurt her feelings; leaving Ellery pissed at him even more. He had nothing whatsoever to do with that - if Kenna was hurt over him telling her a truth or two, it wasn’t his problem. Her question, and that fake smile of hers, made him sigh slightly annoyed. ‘’I guess we could call it that,’’ he said with a monotone voice, stating that he wasn’t in the mood for pleasantries from her. His head pounded slightly from the amount of alcohol trying to leave his system; poisoning the brain and nerves.
‘’Do as you wish,’’ he said, as he got up from the couch and moved past her in a rather lazy motion. ‘’I’m making coffee,’’ he stated. He wasn’t asking if she wanted any - he would of course make her some anyways. He wasn’t a jerk; he just wasn’t going to be her friend. He couldn’t deal with the feeling of her choosing Ellery over Nathaniel if it came to that. She had pointed out that it wasn’t true; but when push came to shove, it was exactly what would happen. Ellery was the leader of the circle, and Kenna was his girl. Nathaniel had no choice but to accept whatever Ellery decided for him. He just hoped that it one day would be his freedom and not his death.

He moved to the kitchen, preparing for coffee for both of them. He had noticed her crumbling façade, even as she had been with Ellery. Nathaniel would always lurk in the shadows. He gave them privacy, but he couldn’t keep from noticing those small details that his brother never acted on. The worst of all was that no matter if Nathaniel ever decided to trust Kenna again, Ellery would never let them near each other again. This was an unplanned encounter - Ellery couldn’t control that regardless, but he would do anything to keep Nathaniel from being near Kenna when they were alone. Brothers that didn’t trust each other whatsoever. As the water for the French press boiled, he poured it over the newly-ground coffee beans; releasing the wonderful scent of coffee in the house. As it steeped, he pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the kitchen drawer and placed one in the corner of his mouth. He then lit the cigarette and breathed the smoke in deep. He had a feeling that Kenna showing up at the beach-house meant something had happened. Ellery had chosen to stay at the estate in the mountains. Why was she here?

He breathed out the smoke before he grabbed the coffee and two mugs and placed it at the dining-room table. He then grabbed a trash bag and cleaned up the empty beer cans and leftovers of the evening before. ‘’Are you okay in there?’’ he asked loudly. How long had she been in there? Her room, together with the joining bathroom, had not been touched since she moved. It was preserved for her to use whenever she needed to, as per orders from his brother. He placed the trash bag near the front door, before he moved back to the kitchen. He dug out a packet of chocolate chip cookies and placed them on the table alongside the coffee. He then walked to the door leading out to the terrace. He opened it, before he continued smoking his cigarette in silence; waiting for Kenna to join him for coffee. They had to talk at some point. He just needed to swallow his pride.

Kenna blinked a few times because of his attitude. He couldn’t even pretend to be nice to her. She watched him as he went to the kitchen. Was it really that bad between them? Apparently so. She wanted to fix it, but how she could do that, was harder to figure out. Apologizing hadn’t worked. Maybe she just had to find a way to show him he still could trust her. Maybe by entrusting him with something. Whatever was the solution, she had other things to worry about for now. He would have to come in second row for now.

She went to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was looking worn out, just a little. Not something you would notice unless you looked at her for longer amount of time. It didn’t seem that would be a trouble for Nathaniel. He had barely looked at her since she walked in. Since their fight, actually. With a deep breath she took out the test from her bag. Those minutes she had to wait was the longest minutes of her life. She looked at the box at least ten times, just to be sure she knew the difference between negative and positive. Her phone announced that time was up. Kenna looked at the test. Positive. She took another, another brand too. She just had to be sure before she did everything with this, before she told anyone.

Kenna didn’t know where to go. The father was obviously Ellery. She hadn’t been with anyone else. Where else could she go? She heard his voice call out to her. ”I’ll just be another minute,” she said, her voice shaking slightly. She was worried and freaking out. If this test was positive as well, it was impossible it was just a coincidence. She was leaned against the wall, trying her best to not crumble. She had no idea how to handle this. She was not ready to. It had just been her being stupid, making a mistake by not thinking about the consequences. This could all have been avoided if she had been smarter. Another positive. She put the test into the packages again and put them back in her bag. She was still not ready to tell on. She had to put on her brave face when she walked back out there. He had once accused her for making it all about her. She didn’t want him to think she was actually like that. With a few deep breaths she managed to put on a neutral face that was hopefully convincing. It had fooled Nate, but he was maybe just expecting her to do what he wanted. Nathaniel wasn’t like that. He might she straight through her. She walked to the couch and looked at the cups and coffee. She grabbed the coffeepot about to pour some. She then realized it was probably not a good idea. She knew caffeine could be bad during a pregnancy. She put the pot back down, awaiting his return. If he was even going to. Maybe it would be easier if he didn’t. Then she didn’t need to convince that she was okay, that she was not freaking out or going completely out of her mind from what she had just discovered.

It would take time for him to trust her, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t care. Of course, he cared - she had not done anything to make him think less of her. She had just expressed that one stupid thing, that he needed to get over. It would take time…
He heard the first alarm from her phone. Perhaps she had set a reminder? He wouldn’t guess, but a timer in the bathroom… the last time he had been a part of such a menagerie was when they discovered his son was on his way. It had been some years since then, maybe technology had evolved enough for those damn urine tests to be medieval? Her voice, slightly shaking, reached him with words he had just heard in one of the episodes of the show he had watched all night. Another timer went off, almost exactly at the given time; he had counted in silence. He closed his eyes, rethinking what had happened. It had to be at least two weeks ago, if she had fallen pregnant. He dared not thinking about it, and as she appeared once again, he turned his head to look at her.

He finished his cigarette in a long breath, rather relaxed, before he discarded the bud and then washed his hands. Not everyone liked the smell of nicotine on other’s hands. He sat down in the couch across from her. Normally she would have taken coffee by know - he at least knew that about her. He looked at her, directly at her face, as he placed his hands on his knees and leaned slightly forward. ‘’It’s caffeine free,’’ he then said, nodding at the coffee. ‘’We emptied the local pharmacy’s stock of tests when we noticed the signs of Jean being on his way,’’ he then said, not even asking her the question itself. He was not the one to ask; it wasn’t his. ‘’Since you aren’t overjoyed, I take it that the results weren’t what you had hoped?’’ he guessed, as he poured both of them a cup of coffee.

He remembered the fear and joy they had shared with every positive test. For every day, the line grew brighter and brighter. He remembered her crying, telling him that he had ruined her life. He remembered proposing, begging her to accept. Memories he had spent years drinking away washed in over him as waves at the beach just outside the front door. He placed the French press back onto the table, before he stood up and approached her quite calm. He sat down next to her on the couch and placed an arm around her. He stroked her arm gently, silent. ‘’Are you okay?’’ he asked her, after a moment of silence. Something deep beneath the layers of smoke and hoarseness laid the feelings; the concern and the comfort that he tried to show her in the moment.

Kenna didn’t know what she wanted or didn’t want. It was just too much for her. How could she have a child when she was still recovering, when she was healing and finding herself again? She just wasn’t ready. She looked down at her hands. They were trembling just a little. She forced them together and placed them in her lap. What was she going to do now? Her mind was flushed with thoughts from left and right, making her eyes seem blank, distant. She knew she wasn’t alone, but it was still going to be her the baby depended on. She was the one who could feed it, nurture it. Was it even possible, or was her body too broken? Was her mind?

She looked at him when he sat down, but shortly after her eyes were directed at her hands. She furrowed her brows by his words. Did he know? No, how could he? As he continued talking, she knew he did. ”I don’t know how to feel,” she admitted and took a cup. ”I don’t think I’m ready for that. I just…” She sighed and shook her head. ”I can barely take care of myself.” She took a sip of the coffee. She was not really feeling anything but fear. Fear that she would have a child and be one of the mothers who couldn’t take care of it. She reached forward and placed the cup on the table. She sighed before leaning back. She let her hands slide across her face in a frustrated manner.

When he sat down next to her and put a comforting arm around her. Just sitting there with him was a comfort she appreciated. When he asked a question, she shrugged slightly, to not remove his hand on her arm. ”I-I don’t know,” tears were welling up in her eyes. She clearly wasn’t. ”I don’t know what to do,” she admitted leaning into his chest. She just needed the comfort right now, she hoped he didn’t mind that. It was no secret she had been a mess for all the time she had known them, but a pregnant mess was just doomed to go wrong. Her worst fear was becoming a bad mother, but how could she be anything but? She hoped Nathaniel had some words of wisdom. She desperately needed a pep-talk.

He saw the fear seeping out of her with every single movement and word. With his arm around her, he just sat there, listening to her. It came as a surprise - but he had experienced it all before. He didn’t know if Kenna had. The first time was always horrifying. ‘’It’s gonna be okay,’’ he promised her, while gentle stroking her arm. He couldn’t know that for sure, but it was better than to panic in front of her. She didn’t need that. However, his brother had a thing or two coming his way when Nathaniel returned to the shadows where he spent the most of his time. Ellery had clearly not been careful enough; a rule they had established after Jean was born.

‘’You know you aren’t alone, right?’’ he asked, with a crooked smile; a smile that tried to hide the fact the he was worried beyond compare. To him, it seemed somewhat surreal. Considering that Ellery most likely was the only one she had laid with; they’ve had to have the unluckiest timing at all. For a moment he considered asking if she wanted to speak to Ellery instead, but he decided that Ellery wasn’t going to of any use in the moment. He had not experienced this yet and should be a pleasant moment for him when he got the news. Being forced out to be confronted with this scenery wasn’t a good idea. Quite gently he squeezed her, letting her know that she was safe with him. He saw the tears in her eyes, and a sudden anger welled up inside him. This reaction of hers just confirmed his notion; she didn’t want it. He couldn’t blame her, and he never would. She had the choice; it was her body. ‘’Okay… I hate to be ‘that guy’,’’ he said with a slight cheekiness in his voice; trying to make her smile a little. ‘’But you have options. You don’t have to do anything you aren’t comfortable with,’’ he said, trying to look her in the eyes. It was a gentle, caring and supporting siren sitting next to her. No matter the differences between them, he would support her. He knew Ellery would be thrilled to know that she was expecting and devastated as soon as he would discover if she didn’t want to keep it.

‘’First of all… Are there any chance at all that it isn’t my brother’s?’’ he then asked, still with the gentle and caring look. He didn’t really care, to be honest. Neither did Ellery, when push came to shove. Ellery loved kids, and he clearly loved Kenna. He would make it work regardless of the paternity of the kid, which always had pissed Nathaniel off, considering that the fool didn’t even want to consider Jean his own son by blood. He had never accepted that; leaving Jean to be raised by his mother and a stranger as his father. Nathaniel just have to live with the fact that the thought of a family of his own wouldn’t be possible.

Kenna didn’t know if he was right. Would it be okay? She didn’t know what she wanted. She didn’t know anything. She just felt like she was drifting into sea being swallowed by the waves coming from every side. It was nice feeling his gentle strokes on her arm. It was keeping her from panicking completely. Nathaniel might be the one who understood it best. He already was a parent. The thought made a tightness spread in her chest. Ellery was going to have a child, and Nathaniel wasn’t allowed to see his own. That wasn’t fair.

She nodded to his question. She felt it. Even if they had been going through a rough path, it now showed it was not that important. He was here for her, taking care of her. Kenna wasn’t ready to face Ellery. She thought he was what he needed, but she needed someone who would understand why she was happening doubts. She needed Nathaniel. As they sat there in silence, she was beginning to calm down and come to terms with it. She was going to be a mother. Maybe it was bad timing, but was it possible it was actually a blessing? She had started a new chapter in her life – maybe this was how it was going to start? She moved away from him to look at him when he spoke. Options. No, there was no options. She could never do that. ”No, no I can’t. I just freaked out,” she explained, sighing and wiping her eyes.

His question made her frown. Of course, it was Ellery’s. Who else..? She realized before she thought the sentence to end. ”It’s either him.. Or you.” How would you she even know? Their DNA was the same, so a paternity test would show a clear result. ”I need to find out,” she said with another sigh. ”I’ve heard about a witch who can predict things about pregnancies. He might be able to figure out the father as well.” She had to do it know. She couldn’t wait. It was too big a thing for her to postpone. What if it really was Nathaniel’s? Would that change everything? She looked at him with a begging look in her eyes. ”Can you come with me? I need someone,” she could contact some of her new friends, but she wasn’t sure they would understand it like Nathaniel. And he was maybe involved after all.

Not only was he to keep a secret from his brother - he was used to that, after all - he also needed to support Kenna. It felt unreasonable. Why should he have to support her just because he had tried all of this before? He refusal on other options made him nod slightly. He was not the one to tell her otherwise. It was her body, and she knew the best what to do in the situation; he hoped that at least.
Her words as she answered his question about the paternity made him freeze slightly. His? That wasn’t even an option he had considered. There was no way it could be his - it had only been that one time and he hadn’t… He felt so idiotic and just about ready to punch himself right on the nose. He had not used protection either. To be fair, Ellery started the act - but Nathaniel didn’t even as much as consider the risk when he took over.

‘’What good could come of knowing?’’ he then asked, quite hesitant. The uncertainty seeped in his voice, showing in his eyes. He understood it from her perspective, but the truth was that he wasn’t going to be able to raise a child. It would be his brother’s no matter the results. He could never tell Ellery that he made his girlfriend pregnant because of such a stupid mistake. She asked for him to join her as she would go and find out. How could he reject her request? He was the only one knowing at this time, and the possibility of it being his was there as well. ‘’Of course,’’ he said, looking down at her stomach for a brief moment. It couldn’t be his - he had to lose those thoughts before the developed into something more. what should he tell Tidus? ‘Oh - by the way, I am gay, but I just impregnated my brother’s girlfriend by accident!’… Yeah, it didn’t really have a positive ring to it… Bloody hell.

‘’I owe you an apology,’’ he then admitted, as he got up from the couch to go and get dressed so they could visit the witch she had mentioned. He looked down at her; his eyes showing next to no emotion besides the hint of nervousness. ‘’I wasn’t being fair last we spoke… My apologies.’’ He said. It was clear that there was so much more to it than him being unfair. He had not even considered telling her the truth, because he didn’t want to believe it himself. He had been hurt; but not by the fact that she thought so little of him, as to jump to the conclusion that he just asked because he wanted to use it against his brother. No… It was because he cared. He cared deeply, and that feeling was so unpleasant. He had always tried to be rid of that feeling of needing others to accept him and care for him. It felt like being stabbed right in the back every time someone showed him that his feelings had done him dirty. He then moved away from the couch, on the way to the bedroom. ‘’I’ll get dressed, and then we can go talk to your witch,’’ he said.

He quickly disappeared into the bedroom where he sat down on the bed for a short moment. He was slightly shaky; unsure of if it was the alcohol ravaging his body, the nicotine taking hold or a panic growing in him. He breathed in deeply, as he got up from the bed and got dressed in a grey t-shirt and a pair of dark blue suit-pants. He grabbed a pair of brown leather shoes and pulled them on before he found a sweater and pulled it over his head, messing with his hair. He joined her in the living room again, as he ran fingers through his hair to tame it. ‘’Where does this pregnancy-witch live?’’ he asked before he grabbed the phone from the table. No messages or calls, of course. Usually there would be a text from Tidus, at the least, but nothing. The silence was deafening.

Maybe it was unfair of her to involve him. She just couldn’t bear to tell anyone yet. He had guessed it himself, it was easier than her having to say it. She wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable or him thinking she was taking advantage of him. She just wanted someone she trusted with her, and she trusted him.
She wasn’t sure. Maybe there was a chance it was his. She couldn’t decide if it would be a good or bad thing if it was. He would have a child, he might want that, but it would be with someone he didn’t love. Maybe that was not he wanted it to be. She would never blame him. She had maybe done so at first, but she quickly realized it was not his fault. He was most likely just a victim to instincts as she was.

She chewed on his words. Would the come anything good from it? Maybe it was better to just pretend it was Ellery’s. But then she would always wonder if it really was his, or if she had taken the chance of fatherhood from Nathaniel. She wouldn’t want to do that him, not again. She smiled when he agreed to go. She wished she could go through his head and hear his thoughts, maybe she would then be more equipped to help him through it. She was dealing with a lot on her own, but so was he. She wanted them to be in this together – at least until they knew the truth. Then they would be able to decide what to do.

Kenna looked at him as he spoke and stood up. ”Neither of us were fair. I’m sorry too,” she told him, standing up as well. ”I’m still content on earning your trust back at some point,” she added with a small smile. What she had said was unfair. Because even if he believed she would pick Ellery over Nathaniel, she wouldn’t. If she had any say in it, she would fight for his rights when he wasn’t able to. And even if it wasn’t her place, she would state her opinion. She was not going to let him die. ”Okay,” she said and grabbed the cup to finish the coffee. Her being left alone was not a smart idea. She was thinking too much, planning a future before she even know what was going to happen, what she was going to find out.

When he returned, she felt relieved. She didn’t want to be alone right now. ”In Gaia. He had a store on the main street. I’ve passed it a few times,” she told him and walked towards the door. ”Do you really not want to know if it’s yours?” She couldn’t imagine what it must be like to always wonder. She couldn’t do that. She would never be able to feel like she was being truthful to her child, if she couldn’t with certainty say who their father was. If he didn’t want to know, she didn’t need to tell him. But she had to know to ever feel at peace with this.

To him, there was no option. If it could either be his or his brother’s - then it would always be his brother’s. he had learned that the hard way, when he had been told to live with the fact that his own son didn’t know of his existence. Ellery wouldn’t be able to accept things otherwise. Nathaniel had no choice.

As Kenna stated that none of them had been fair, he just nodded slightly. Even if she wanted to earn his trust, it came with a price. The price, in this case, would be her lying to her child and her boyfriend; keeping to a story that it was Ellery’s. As he had gotten dressed and returned to the living room, she seemed to be a bit more uncomfortable. Maybe her thoughts had gotten to her, just like they had with him. He sighed slightly, with a crooked smile. ‘’Should I call a taxi, or do you prefer to walk?’’ he asked, quite calm. He was panicking on the inside, shaking and secretly begging for all of this to just be a foul prank made om him by his brother as revenge; something just told him that it wasn’t.

Her question, however, made him reach out and grab her arm at the wrist. He moved closer to her, looking directly at her. The nervousness in his eyes was replaced with sheer frustration. ‘’It’s not mine, Kenna,’’ he said, with a hoarse voice. ‘’Even if I was the one participating in creating that life inside of you, it’ll never be mine. I’ll have to watch my brother raise my child; hear my own son or daughter call him for dad instead of me,’’ he said. He narrowed his eyes, still not breaking eye contact. ‘’No matter what, it’ll be my brother’s child and not mine. No test can change that.’’ He said, as he released her wrist as he grinded his teeth.

‘’Ellery is the good guy, right? Accepting the fact that he might have to raise his brother’s illegitimate child. Bloody hell - what a hero!’’ he sighed out of sheer frustration and he moved over to the coffee table to grab his mug. He emptied the contents down his throat before he grabbed his cigarettes and a lighter from the coffee table. ‘’Pardon… I have a tendency to be cranky when I wake up,’’ he mumbled. It wasn’t a lie; normally it was just Ellery that could hear his brother be a bitch about everything. ‘’Come on… Let’s go find out if I have to deal with my brother playing house with what should have been mine,’’ he said. His irony smelled miles away of desperation and frustration. He didn’t show it in his actions, though. He was collected and calm, as he placed the cigarettes in the pocket on his pants, together with his phone, keys and credit card.

Kenna was not a liar. She would have trouble keeping something this big from anyone, but if that was what Nathaniel wished, she would do it. She just had to be sure it was what he actually wanted, and not just something he did, because he thought he had no other option.

”Maybe a taxi would be better. My treat,” she responded. She thought it was maybe a good idea to get there faster. At least for her. She would definitely overthink it if she had too much time to think about it, possibly driving herself out of her mind. She also just wanted to get it over with so she finally knew the truth. She was surprised when he grabbed her wrist, doing her best to not let it show. She was still not comfortable with rash and unexpected moves like that. She just didn’t want everyone else to worry about her. She had used enough time having people care excessively over her. She kept looking at him as he talked. ”And why is it you think that? Do you think I would just let my child grow up without knowing their real father? If this child is yours, what you and I want is the most important thing.” Ellery’s opinion mattered to her, but it was her child, and she was going to decide with the father what was going to happen, whether that being Nathaniel or Ellery.

She didn’t look away when he spoke in frustration again. Kenna didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t say what was going to happen before she knew the truth. She walked out the door when he wanted to go. ”You’re not cranky,” she stated and looked at him. ”I think like you’re scared of losing another thing or person because of Ellery.” She hesitantly took his hand. ”If this child is yours, you won’t lose it. I will not let it grow up in a lie. Unless that is what you want. It’s your decision. Not Ellery’s or mine. It’s up to you.” Ellery might not be happy about it, if that happened. But she would fight for what was right.

‘’Like I would let you pay,’’ he said, his voice kind of lacking any tone to reveal his mood. He had no reason to be frustrated; it wasn’t his, and it would never be. Still, it frustrated him beyond belief that she seemed to think that they could make it work. He knew that the couldn’t.
‘’You don’t seem to remember the fact that you are the crown prince’s girlfriend,’’ he said, just about ready to quit the conversation. ‘’As such, your child - with his genes - are part of the circle already. An heir. And you stand there, saying that what I want it important? I want to be out of this body! I want to see my fucking son and hear his voice! Don’t tell me that I have a fucking choice in this, Kenna - because I bloody don’t!’’ he said, his voice low but still just about ready to rip the skin of someone if they pissed him off enough.

He typed a message to their driver - a perk of being linked to Ellery; he could use the driver at all times. He then rubbed his face, leaning over the couch as he felt himself grow nauseous. He knew he had no choice. Kenna needed to accept that. He sighed, as he dug his nails into the fabric of the couch cushion. He turned his head to look at her, ready to say something. He was acting like a complete jerk, and there she stood in her delicate condition. He needed to get a grip of his balls and man up.
He straightened his back and poured himself another cup of coffee. ‘’I need to stop making this about me,’’ he said. ‘’You’re pregnant, and I’m whining about something as simple as paternity…’’ he sighed before he took a large sip of his coffee. He missed the caffeine for sure, but he had promised to cut down on it. He had never mentioned the cigarettes though.

‘’Okay… Here’s the thing,’’ he said, as he turned to look at her. ‘’You’re pregnant. In the slim chance of it being mine, we only have a few options. I can’t raise it, as I’m only here for about a tenth of the time. I can’t support you though all of those things a pregnancy entail. Ellery wouldn’t care if it was him or me that is the father; he will be there for both you and the child no matter what… Your best option is to accept the fact that lying to the child about who their father is payment for Ellery allowing me near you or the child ever again,’’ he said. He knew his brother; he wasn’t benevolent in this situation. He would do anything for Kenna, and he would kill Nathaniel in a heartbeat for placing her in this situation. ‘’What I want, Kenna, is for you to not tell Ellery if the child is mine.’’ He then said. It pained him to say it, and it felt so wrong, but it was necessary. ‘’I can’t be the father of any child as long as I don’t have a body of my own. I’m sorry...’’ he said. He heard the knock on the door and looked at it. He moved past her and went to open the front door, revealing a man dressed in black and with white gloves. ‘’Seriously? Is that mother’s idea of what a driver needs to look like? Take of the gloves, okay? And the hat. And the tie. And the… You get it. Make yourself comfortable, and the we’re heading to Gaia Mainstreet.’’ He said before he looked back at Kenna. ‘’Let’s go.’’

What was she supposed to do? Should she just lie to everyone in her life? Only Nathaniel would know the truth. How was that supposed to work? ”I’m sorry. I think I know what’s best, but I clearly don’t. I just can’t imagine robbing you of that. You already had it happen to you once. It shouldn’t happen again.” She wanted to find a solution, even if it was going to be hard. Letting him play uncle to his child just seemed cruel.

”I think we can both agree paternity is not simple in our case.” It seemed one of them couldn’t be the father without the other being as well. He was frustrated. She didn’t blame him. She was too. But not for herself, for him. She continued to think it was unfair he had to go through this. Something in her told her, he wanted this. He wanted a family, but he was never able to. Not truly. She hated that. So much. She cared for him, and thought he deserved better than this.
She listened to him as he explained how it was going to be. She sighed frustrated. It made sense, but it also felt so wrong. She was not sure it was the right thing, but that mattered less than what he wanted. ”I know. I just want more for you. I guess I thought there was a way it could happen.”

She swallowed when he told what he wanted. ”Okay, if that’s what you want.” She shook her head when he apologized. ”No, don’t apologize. I knew you would be there if you could. You understand how it works with you and Ellery better than me. If you think it’s better, I trust you.” She looked at the very fancily dressed man arriving at the door. She couldn’t help but smile when Nathaniel demanded the driver to make himself comfortable. Kenna preferred that as well.
She sat into the car. As soon Nathaniel was in as well, the driver started the car. ”Would you prefer to not know?” If he didn’t want to, she would grant it to him. She wanted to make this situation better for him as much she could. It would never be like what she wanted, or what he wanted, she suspected, so she wanted to create the best possible outcome she could. That was how she always was. It was important to her how people around her were doing. ”Also, thank you for going with me. I know we haven’t been on speaking terms. It means a lot to me:”

‘’It’s my eternal damnation. You shouldn’t be worrying yourself with that right now,’’ he said. It was true nonetheless; he was once again being robbed of the chance to be a father. No matter how much he wished to become a father, it wasn’t possible. He had caused that himself when he out of envy had ruined his brother’s life. God was a funny man - or at least he liked to think so himself. Nathaniel couldn’t quite get the humor behind it. ‘’I see it like this… If I was in my brother’s place, I wouldn’t hesitate on making an honest woman out of you and make sure the child wouldn’t be born out of wedlock. However, it’s not my place to tell our leader what to do.’’ He said, as he looked at her. They started of on the wrong foot - both of them. He felt bad for her; being stuck in this mess with the guy that called her out for being selfish. It couldn’t be fun.

He saw the way she swallowed as he told her what he needed her to do. Didn’t she understand at all what would happen if Ellery was forced to turn her away because of this? It would break his heart - and Nathaniel’s too. ‘’I have all I need, Kenna. You don’t have to fight for me to get more,’’ he said, emphasizing the word ‘need’. He could never have what he wanted - but he managed just fine, most of the time. This situation right here, was the reason he had chosen to only date men. He couldn’t handle the whole pregnancy thing and being forced away from that again - and yet, there they stood; her being pregnant and him at risk of being the father. Such a stupid situation!

‘’It’s not wise to trust a man that could lie about such a thing, is it now?’’ he sighed as he went to open the door. It was obvious that he felt more or less stuck between a rock and a hard place. The driver, however, did as instructed and ended up in a shirt, pants and shoes. All the fashionable ornaments gone from his so-called uniform, making him look like another ordinary man. Nathaniel then escorted Kenna to the car and made sure she was comfortable before walking around the car and sat down next to her. The driver got in, and without a word he started driving back to Gaia; heading for the Main Street.

‘’That would just make it one more person you would have to lie to, wouldn’t it? I’ll be fine. Besides, you’ll need someone to vent to about all of this - and who would be better than the guy that Ellery isn’t able to beat up if he ever finds out?’’ he said jokingly, with a little crooked smile. He needed to stop feeling sorry for himself. Kenna didn’t need to hear more about his situation; he needed to support her instead. ‘’Well, you managed to bring us back to speaking terms alright,’’ he said, winking at her. ‘’I thought you knew that by now; I could never let you go through this kind of thing alone. I might be a bitch, but I’m not cold-hearted.’’ He said, placing a hand on her thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

”Being poetic must run in the family.” A soft smile graved her lips. ”Worrying is in my nature,” she explained with a slight shrug. He was damned and she worried too much. They made quite the pair. She looked into the air when he spoke of “wedlock”. Ellery had talked about proposals and marriage too. She couldn’t help but feel like there was a connection between it all. Maybe it was just her head making those connections in hope of having some control. She felt like she was falling, and she was grasping for anything to hold her. ”I suppose that is the proper thing to do,” she simply said. If Ellery did propose, she didn’t know what to say or do. She would never want to hurt him, but she didn’t know if he was doing it out of obligation or because he truly wanted to.

”I have heard a lot about how you and Ellery were raised. I was raised to take care of people. To fight for them, especially the ones I care for. You can tell me to stop fighting, but it is hard to go against your own personality and how you were raised. I can try, but I’m not sure I can promise you anything.” She wanted to do by right by Nathaniel but not by compromising who she was or her principles.
”I trust my gut,” she told him as they went to the car. She sat in and put her head against the backrest, closing her eyes a moment. She was scared out of her mind, but she was trying to distract herself. She looked out the window of the car rushing past them.

She listened to him with a smile. He was joking, but he had a point. ”Maybe you are the perfect choice to talk to about all of this,” she turned her head to him when said something she took as a compliment. ”My greatest accomplishment,” she said with a hint of a joking tone, but she actually did take some pride in it. They were both important to her. She wanted them to get along. ”I try not to expect to much of people. They have a habit of letting me down.” She put her hand on his. ”It means a lot for me to have people to count on.” Kenna released his hand and looked out the front window, as they were getting closer to Main street.

He was not really the type of person to let someone have it their way. He wanted his opinion to be heard - and so did she. ‘’Nerobel loves poetry… I decided to learn some, many years ago, when we-,’’ he stopped talking as he had realized what he was saying. ‘’Our natures seem to be quite the match.’’ He then said, switching the topic of the conversation once more.
‘’Today, having a child outside the marital frame is not frowned upon by most. It is - however - in the circle. Ellery can not have a child out of wedlock and keep his position. He’ll have to betrothed to you, at the very least...’’ Nathaniel said with some apologetic tone hiding in his voice. He chose to not discuss it further with her, as he knew that Ellery would explain it all soon enough.

As the car neared their destination, he just did like her, and placed his head against the backrest. ‘’I am afraid that I might be one of those who let you down,’’ he admitted with a low voice. ‘’After all, if our little trip here ends up in what we’ve just talked about being true, I’m the one who put you in this mess.’’ He sighed. He didn’t feel well at all; he needed a smoke. He felt jumpy; skittish. He felt the itch in his fingers. He wasn’t addicted to them, but they helped him calm down. He was only allowed one pack when he emerged, to prevent Ellery from getting addicted to them as well. All those bloody rules.
He remained quiet until the reached Main Street. As the car stopped, the driver was quick enough to exit the car and open the door for Kenna. Nathaniel exited the car and looked at Kenna, before he moved over to her. He wanted to show her his affection and consideration, but that could lead to either him catching some unwanted feelings for her, or the public noticing and guessing what was going on. After all, he used his brother’s body; no one could tell the difference.

‘’Now, where is that witch of yours?’’ he asked with a crooked smile. He needed to keep up the façade, smiling when he felt like crumbling instead. He pulled out the pack of cigarettes and placed one between his lips. He then lit it quite smoothly, and kept his distance to her so that she would not inhale the smoke too. ‘’And by the way, little she-wolf,’’ he said, looking at her with a teasing glimmer in those multicolored eyes of his; ‘’If it’s mine, at least I know it was pure pleasure that led to it,’’ he said, winking at her. He needed to be this way; he was scared of being too soft. He couldn’t be that soft man she had seen back then - she had used it against him before. He needed the façade of being tough and strong, though he truly only was that when he couldn’t deal with the reality of being terrified, sad or alone.

Kenna was of course curious about what he was about to say. Instead he just changed the topic. She was trying to not be pushy with Nathaniel. Their relationship was still rocky. At least she felt like that. What he said made sense. She knew in her head it was the way to go about things, but she just wished she could be engaged because someone loved her so much, calling her his wife was something he couldn’t wait another second to achieve. She didn’t doubt Ellery cared for her, but they hadn’t even expressed their love for each other yet, and now they might be engaged. Everything was just moving to fast. She wanted it to be romantic and beautiful and worth remembering.

She didn’t agree with him. ”If you did let me down, you would not be here now. You wouldn’t be here when it mattered.” She didn’t want him to take the blame. In her eyes, he wasn’t to blame. ”You were not the irresponsible one. Ellery and I was. Do you think it would have ended differently if Ellery had stayed? No matter what, I would have ended in this situation. It wasn’t your fault.” She thought her argument was pretty airtight, but it wouldn’t surprise her, if he found a way to take it a part. It seemed to be what they did whenever they were together.

She stepped out of the car when it was opened. She took in a deep breath as he moved closer. She looked forward to the corner they had to go around to get to the witch. ”Just around the corner,” she said and started walking in that direction. She rolled her eyes by his words but couldn’t help but smile as well. It was funny. She might have reacted differently if she wasn’t past it. ”Maybe I faked it,” she bit back, looking at him with a smirk. She was just trying to distract herself with games and playful banter as she had become used to with Nathaniel, but everything changed. She stood outside the store, looking in. She was absolutely terrified of learning the truth. Her breathing was faster than it normally was. Whatever was said in there would change her life in one way. She was not sure whether to feel excited or scared for either of the options. She looked at him. ”This is it,” she told Nathaniel and opened the door.

The store was small. A scent of aged wood was easy to pick up on when you entered, so was many of the herbs and liquids in the containers stacked on shelfs along the wall. If you were not a member of the supernatural community, you would maybe expect this store to belong to someone with an obsession with natural medicine. In the back of the room was the desk you paid, next to it a small section with more elements you could use to elixirs and magical powders. She walked closer to the desk, noticing tails hanging behind it. She wrinkled her nose. When a young man with raven black hair and grey eyes walked forward from a back room, Kenna’s facial expression returned to natural. ”Hello. How can I help you today?” He looked at both Kenna and Nathaniel with a welcoming smile. ”I need to know the father of my child,” she put a hand on her stomach out of instinct. She was already fiercely protective of her unborn child. She removed her hand. ”Of course. Follow me to the backroom for some more privacy.” She looked at Nathaniel, telling him with her eyes to join her.

He cared not for arguing with the woman; especially not when she was in this condition. Until they had clarity, they would be forced to keep up an appearance. ‘’If he had stayed, would there be any doubt about who the father was?’’ he asked, but it was rhetorically. He knew the answer - and it was his fault. For Christ’s sake, he blew a load in the woman weeks ago… One load! It wasn’t like he had fucked her like crazy until they had a positive test; no, he had actually just finished the job after his brother lost control. Bad excuse, but true.

‘’Anyway…! Off we go!’’ he said, but as they walked, he felt himself growing uneasy. He was nervous. He couldn’t help it; the chance of him being told that he was going to be a father once more stood few feet from them and came closer by the inch. He inhaled the smoke of his cigarette deeply, almost meditating, as he tried to calm himself down. ‘’You’re a terrible liar Kenna,’’ he chuckled at her as he exhaled the smoke. ‘’There’s no way you could fake such sweet moans,’’ he winked at her, before they stopped outside the shop. It looked terribly much like one of those quack doctors he had been dealing with throughout the 1500’s. He finished his smoke, discarded the bud and after that, they entered the store. He noticed the aged wood-smell rather quickly. The smell grew stronger, the longer they stood there. He noticed the pots, jars, glasses and vessels all around the place, giving him more timber to the fire; allowing his thoughts to wander more across the feeling of this man being a quack. He knew that he wasn’t; this was Gaia. Witches were a quite normal thing. Per instinct, he grabbed Kenna by the shoulder, keeping her from getting to close to anything. They both had a growing need to protect in the moment.

Her words made him shiver. Her child. It was no longer an ‘it’, but her child. He swallowed hard, as the man with the grey eyes told her to follow him out back. He released her shoulder, but did as her eyes pleaded, and followed them. The few steps to the backroom felt like miles, and the seconds moved like hours. In his head, he started imagining what would happen. Fantasies about him, Kenna and Ellery raising the child together, letting there be no boundaries to keep them separated. No matter what, he would be a part of that child’s life; be it as a father or an uncle. He would just have to accept that. At least he got to be around the kid, unlike with Jean.

There it was. His rational point she couldn’t help but agree with. Much to her dismay. She wanted to be right, but she still stopped herself from taking it any further. She didn’t care whose ‘fault’ it was. She was going to be a mother no matter what. Who had fathered her child wouldn’t change that.
She was just as nervous if not more. It could go two ways, and she had yet to decide which was the better option. The obvious choice was having her boyfriend’s child, but she couldn’t help but think it would be good for Nathaniel to have another chance, and even if he would not be as much as part of it as he might wish, he would still be able to. It was a poor reason for wanting a child with him, but she saw it a as reason, nonetheless. She wanted to say something back to him, but he was right. She was not a good liar, and she hadn’t faked it. She would undoubtedly come up with a great comeback when it was too late. What a cruel world. She felt his hand on her shoulder, making sure she was close with him. It was nice they were no longer so hostile against each other.

Her words made him shiver. Her child. It was no longer an ‘it’, but her child. He swallowed hard, as the man with the grey eyes told her to follow him out back. He released her shoulder, but did as her eyes pleaded, and followed them. The few steps to the backroom felt like miles, and the seconds moved like hours. In his head, he started imagining what would happen. Fantasies about him, Kenna and Ellery raising the child together, letting there be no boundaries to keep them separated. No matter what, he would be a part of that child’s life; be it as a father or an uncle. He would just have to accept that. At least he got to be around the kid, unlike with Jean.
Kenna followed the witch to the back. He gestured for them to sit down by the table in the small room. It was not like she would have imagined. It just looked like any other break room. A fridge, coffee machine, cups and a few seating places. She sat down on the chair by the wall, leaving the one next to her open for Nathaniel. The witch sat down on the other side. ”It requires blood from the mother,” he said. Kenna took in a deep breath and put her hand forward. She was not afraid of a small cut. The witch picked up a pocketknife and unfolded it, cutting a rift in the middle of her palm. He then took a small fabric bag with something rattling inside. He guided her hand on top of the opening. She squeezed it to a fist, letting the blood drop into the bag. She took her hand back, while the witch began talking in spells against the bag.

Kenna grabbed hold of Nathaniel’s hand with the one who wasn’t cut. She didn’t know what to expect. The witch shook it, before pouring whatever it contained onto the table. It was small cubes with a letter on all the sides. Each cube representing a letter in the alphabet. Some of the cubes had a blood stain on them, others do not. ”The ones with blood will spell out the name of the father.” When she saw the letter ‘a’ was marked, she didn’t need to look any further. She turned her head to Nathaniel to capture his emotions. She was able to now, with her newfound ability. Whatever he felt, she would feel too. Before she had been unsure if it was his emotions or her own, but since she was feeling such a mix of many things, his would probably be clearer to her now. ”I guess I need to practice lying,” she said with soft voice.

The breakroom felt like a shift of sets in a studio. That was it; they played parts in some sick and twisted movie about unexpected pregnancies. A telenovela! He sat down next to her; his eyes fixated on the witch with the raven black hair and steel grey eyes. A part of him wanted them to get up and leave; letting all of this be over. But he couldn’t ask that of her - she needed to know, and he had to respect that. The witch’s words made Nathaniel narrow his eyes. Blood. Of course… he held his breath as Kenna held out her hand. The pocketknife came out, and Nathaniel felt a little jolt - pushing him to get that knife away from Kenna. He refrained from doing anything, leaving him almost frozen. He was silent, still. He couldn’t do much right now, as he feared the result may not be what any of them hoped.

Blood was drawn as a cut was made on her palm. Nathaniel held his breath so that he would inhale that sweet scent of hers. It wasn’t fair, letting two predators sit there with a witch of all things as their superior. They were the top of their food chains - not the witches. He felt his lips curl slightly in a beginning snarl, as blood was squeezed into the bag. Her other hand found his, and he grasped it tightly to show her that he wasn’t going anywhere. He still held his breath, as the dices were revealed on the table. At first, he saw an L. He searched for the E and found it - only to see a N placed next to it. His heart dropped. He grinded his teeth, as he stared at the dice; as if he hoped his gaze would make it change. Her soft voice spoke to him, but it was like he couldn’t really hear her. All he heard was the sound of his brother when he would force Nathaniel away once more, perhaps even for longer than last time. He started to breath again, in slow and controlled rhythms, as he turned his head to look at her. ‘’You don’t sound displeased?’’ he mumbled; his voice hoarse. He shook his head, looking back at the bloody dices on the table, spelling out his name.

‘’What a mess we’ve made, little she-wolf,’’ he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with the other hand. Mess wasn’t the word to describe this. He felt like he had betrayed both of them; and still, her voice softly speaking to him made hem wonder; did she want his name on those dices?

Kenna appreciated to know he was right there with her. She was not sure if she had been able to handle it herself. She was not sure how to feel about any of this. She heard how he stopped breathing. Was he freaking out? Yes, of course he was. He was scared how it was going to affect everything, just as she was. His mumbled words made her look away. ”I don’t think I am.” Her head turned back to the witch. She pulled forward her wallet from her pocket. ”How much?” As he presented the price, it was fairly cheaper than she thought it would be. She paid him as he stood up. ”I will give you two some privacy,” he said before leaving the room.

She took the dice with the air, moving it around between her fingers. His words hit her hard, but the feeling behind them even stronger. Betrayal. She took in a sharp breath and put the dice down. ”Tell me what you’re thinking, please.” It was important to her to know how he was feeling about all of this. She just hoped his feelings were clearer than hers. She was not disappointed, but she couldn’t decide if she was happy either. Having a child with Nathaniel would mean she had to lie everyone but him. It sounded exhausting. She would have to live a lie. But if that meant Nathaniel would still have some time with his child, she would do it in a heartbeat. She just wanted him to have something he knew wouldn’t go anywhere.

”I am not saying this child could ever replace your son, but it will still be yours, and you will be able to see it. Maybe not in the way I want him or her to know their father, but I suppose we both have to come to terms with that.” She was already imagining herself telling stories based on Nathaniel. She wanted her child to know everything she saw in him, all the good and the bad. She took in another breath, hoping he would share some thoughts as well.

Under any other circumstance, he would have paid for the witch. In this case however, he tried to make sense of it all, and therefor forgot that it was a paid job. As Kenna paid him, and he left them alone in the backroom; a room that reminded him of one of those janky motels he had stayed in back then, when he had to hide from everyone and everything. Her plead for him to tell her his thoughts made him look down slightly. What was he thinking? Where was his mind? Why couldn’t he just be straight about anything?...
‘’What I’m thinking, huh?’’ he mumbled, somewhat absentminded. His thoughts travelled, but the emotion stayed the same. ‘’I’m relieved that we now know it for sure…’’ he said. It wasn’t a lie; he was relieved, but the feeling of betrayal just seemed to take over rather effectively. ‘’And I’m freaking out,’’ he admitted, as he shook his head slightly.

He couldn’t help but feeling like she wanted all of this to happen. For it to be his; for him to have another chance. It wouldn’t be the pink scenery she described; Ellery wouldn’t be pleased with his brother for this, if he were to ever find out. ‘’It won’t be mine, Kenna. It’ll never be mine. I’ll love it, cherish it. But I can’t be the father, and it seems like that is what you want. I’m okay with that; knowing that I won’t be anything but the random uncle that you’ll tell stories about at times. I’ll be the uncle they come to when you guys are being total idiots. I can live with that.’’ He said, looking at the dices. He couldn’t look at her. If he did, she would look directly past his façade and know that he was falling apart. ‘’Nothing brings people closer than a shared secret,’’ he then said, as he closed his eyes for a moment. ‘’We aren’t the first - or the last - to ever do this. It’s not a big deal,’’ he assured himself; but it was a lie. It was a big deal. A huge deal. He had once more been reminded of what he had robbed himself of back then. He opened his eyes to look at Kenna. ‘’So… What now?’’ he asked, trying to maintain a wall around his feelings; making sure she didn’t get to see how he ached beneath the surface.

Kenna was still trying to cope. Being strong for those around her and dealing with her own stuff later. Just like it always was. That what it meant to be a leader. She had to stay cool-minded in the tough situations. If she panicked, so would everyone else. She nodded when he said he was relieved. She felt that way too. It was in her opinion always better to know. And he was freaking out. Of course, he was. She was his brother’s girlfriend after all, and this child would be important for both her and Ellery. He would have an heir, and if the baby was a werewolf, she would have a beta to take over from her, most likely. ”Yeah. Me too.”

”And in this situation, I am so happy you can at least have that. I just want you to be involved as much you can.” It would be best if he could be their father full time, but she would have to settle with that. She noticed how he wasn’t looking at her. She wasn’t looking away from him. And she knew why. She could feel it. ”I haven’t told Ellery this yet,” she said, continuing looking at him. ”I was the cause of the accident I was in. Because I saw something, a vision of some sort. Both my abilities were triggered that day. I had no idea I had them.” She took a break before saying the next part. ”One of them allows me to feel what others are feeling.” She didn’t say anything else, as he most likely would figure it out himself.
What now? Such a great question. ”I was thinking we could go shop for baby clothes,” she said, trying to light the mood a little. ”Or we could go get something to eat, if you want?” She was not ready to be alone, so hopefully he would join her. If he wanted to be alone, she would understand that. She just had to find someone else to spend time with then.