Shut the fuck up Luca! it's not your problem! (tw) -Luca

Tid: kl 21.30
sted : Hjemme hos Luca og Gabbie
vejr: regnvejr og en del blæst advare om skybrud
omgivelser : Gabbie er lige kommet hjem efter at have været sammen med Yuu sammen med Angel.
Tag: @luca
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Gabbie havde været sammen med Yuu og hans piger og hendes egen lille pige. Angel var glad for Yuu og hans to piger det var tydeligt at se på hende og hvor ville hun ønske at Angel ville begynde at tale engelsk sammen med dem, hun havde vist lidt tegn på det da de havde været hjemme hos Yuu, men det var kun når yuu talte til hende.

Hun havde glemt alt om brevet fra staten om at de havde 6 måneder til at lære engelsk og til at Angel skulle tale det som hendes hovedsprog, hun havde ikke vist Luca brevet eller fortalt om det, hun vidste ikke hvordan hun skulle gøre det eller hvordan han ville reagere så det bedste var nok bare at lade som ingen ting. Da Gabbie havde været inde og ligge Lucas tøj på plads eller egentligt bare at ligge det på hans seng så han selv kunne ligge det på plads, normalt ville Gabbie tage vasketøjs kurven med ud igen og ud til vaskemaskinen som hun altid gjorde når hun ordnede vasketøjet men da hun havde været tidspresset tidligere på dagen inden hun skulle afsted glemte hun at tage tøjet ud af vaskekurven og ligge det på sengen, og tage kurven med ud, og samtidig havde glemt alt om at brevet lå i kurven.

Hun havde været alene hjemme med Angel mens hun var gjort sig klar og Angel klar. De skulle hjem og hygge og spise sammen, Gabbie skulle virkelig vænne sig til alle de japanske traditioner som Yuu og hans piger holde fast ved, hun havde intet imod det overhovedet, men det var svært at vænne sig til selvom hun virkelig gjorde sit for at gøre det. Det skulle nok komme med tiden.

Efter en hel del timer sammen var Gabbie og Angel på vej hjem, Gabbie ville helst gerne hjem og sove denne aften, særligt fordi hun skulle til et møde den næste dag med en anden børnehave, hun kunne ikke få lov at have Angel hjemme længere, var udtalen fra Gabbies sagsbehandler selvom hun flere gange forsøgte at sige at hun ikke var tryg ved det pga det der var sket. Dog nyttede det ikke noget og Gabbie og Angel skulle besøge den nye børnehave sammen med hendes sagsbehandler og det var nemmere at komme der hen fra Gabbie end det var fra Yuu og hun ville helst ikke bare spørge Yuu om hjælp, hun var usikker på om hun kunne tillade sig dette. Derfor låste hun stille hoveddøren op, hun vidste ikke om Luca sov eller var ude eller hvad han lavede, hun stillede skoene det var blevet lidt af en vane og med den halv sovende Angel på armen gik hun stille ind mod stuen og så sit værelse.

Luca... Well, he'd had a rather peaceful day off, for once. Normally he'd have been using most of this day to write new songs, either for himself or the band, but today was one of his first truly 'off' days in a long while. He'd been lounging about in the basement pool until about noon, before finally getting up and out of it, getting himself up into the kitchen to make himself some breakfast - fish just on the verge of being too raw for most people, but that was how he liked it best - and sat down with it in the couch to watch some tv to properly chill.

But later in the day, he remembered he needed to go shopping -they were lacking quite a few things, especially some of Angel's favorite snacks, and, well, he wanted to try to be a good uncle, after all, so he'd better go buy some before Gabbie and Angel came back home, right? Right! So he left the couch, loading the plate up in the dishwasher on the way to the stairs, and walked upstairs, into his own room to rummage about in his wardrobe and pull on some fresh clothes.

Speaking of which, Gabbie seemed to have done laundry recently, if the basket left on his bed was any indication. With a slight smile on his face, he began picking his clothes out of it and putting it in the proper places - until he reached the bottom of the basket, where there was... A letter? Now, what was this? Furrowing his brows slightly in wonder, he picked up the letter, unfolded it, and began reading. As he read on, his expression changed quite a few times throughout - but shock being the most prevalent, coupled with a bit of hurt, that Gabbie hadn't told him any of this! Didn't she trust him enough for that? Even after he opened up his house for them - she didn't trust him enough to tell him something as important as this, or what?! They had to get this sorted out stat - the very moment they were back home. Sighing, he folded up the letter again and stuck it in his pocket, before going about his day - they weren't due to return until tonight, so he could get the shopping done before they were back.

Later that night, Luca was, again, sitting on the couch and watching some tv, but still scribbling down in a small book, too - he couldn't help it when inspiration struck, and it also helped soothe his nerves. Speaking of which - he heard the little 'click' of the front door unlocking, so he put down the book, stood up, and went to stand in the doorway to their room, looking at Gabbie with an unreadable expression. "Gabbie... Is there something you've been hiding from me?" he calmly asked her, at first, preferring to get right to the core of things from the start, and to give her a chance to admit to it.

// Outfit

Gabbie var dårligt nået ind på sit værelse, før Luca stod i døren, hun så ikke på ham til en start ikke fordi han ikke ville, men fordi hun ville putte Angel, for hun var træt og havde mere eller mindre sovet i hendes arme på vejen hjem. Hun så godt hans blik og kunne tydeligt se på ham at der var noget galt?
Da han stillede hendes spørgsmålet, vidste hun ikke helt hvad det var han mente med det og hun så spørgende på ham. Hun prøvede virkelig at komme i tanke om hvad det kunne være, der gik heller ikke længe før hun mumlede ” The Laundry” hun så ikke på Luca, hun kunne ikke. Hun havde glemt at tage vaskebaljen med ud fra hans værelse, jep hun var kommet i tanke om dette. Det var ikke lige frem det bedste at have glemt for brevet, det lå i balgen, hun vidste at han vidste alt om det. Han havde fundet brevet? Hvad skulle det ellers være? Man kunne tydeligt se på hende at hun ikke havde det helt godt med dette, hun vidste ikke hvor hun skulle kigge hen eller hvor hun skulle gøre af sig selv i dette øjeblik. ” the living room” sagde hun bare og gik ud af værelset for at lukke døren ind til Angel. Dette ville kræve en forklaring og ville måske nok ikke helt ende med almindelige lav stemmeleje det vidste hun. Hun havde jo set hans blik og at han på ingen måde var glad.

” yir i did until you find it in the laundry” Sagde hun roligt og så på ham, det her var ikke rart hverken for hende eller for Luca, hun håbede bare at han kunne forstå hende når hun nåede så langt. ” I didn’t show it to you because that i’m a mother, its my job to teach Angel English it’s my job to meet the requirements. I didn’t tell you because I own you so fucking much for all that you had did for me and Angel sagde hun og så på ham, hun kunne godt mærke at hun begyndte at blive vred, dog var det ikke fordi hun blev vred på Luca men hun blev vred på sig selv over at hun havde valgt at holde det skjult for Luca, hun havde den største dårligste smag i munden, hun håbede inderligt ikke at Luca ville være alt for sur på hende, selvom hun godt vidste at han i det mindste ville være ekstrem skuffet af hende og det havde han da også sin ret til at være.

Luca mainly just stood there, looking at his little sister, unreadable but still slightly worried look on his face, arms crossed as he leant up against the door frame, simply waiting for her to answer him, even though, of course, he already knew the answer - he just wanted her to admit it and tell him exactly why she'd kept it hidden from him, and it had better be a damn good reason. He simply nodded when she came to the correct conclusion - that he'd found the letter in the laundry basket.

He nodded at her next words, then turned and walked into the living room, waiting for her to follow. He didn't sit down in the couch - he was too anxious about all of this, and slightly agitated at the fact that she had chosen to keep something this important hidden from him, with all he'd already done for her - that should show he was ready to help with anything, didn't it??

He sighed slightly as she admitted it, and his face slipped a bit more into a hurtful expression as she explained everything. "Gabbie... You should've told me. It's never wrong to ask for help - not with everything I've already done, either. I'd do it all over ten times, I want to be there for you, always - but I fucking can't if you don't LET me be there, if you don't LET me help you guys! Don't you trust me enough to tell me shit like this from the very start?? Do you have any idea how much this feels like a slap to my fucking face after everything? I want to help you, goddamn it, I want to do nothing more than that, but I can't when you do this! When you don't let me in!" pretty damn soon, his hurt had converted to quite a bit of anger, as everything often did with him nowadays - most strong emotions turned into some type of anger pretty quickly, his instincts simply reacting to emotional turmoil so easily.

Det var ikke fordi Gabbie ikke kunne forstå at han blev vred på hende over at hun ikke havde sagt noget som helst til ham om dette brev, men hvorfor kunne han ikke forstå hvor svært det var at blive ved med at bede om hjælp til at alting hun var mor! Hun havde et barn! Hun var nødt til også at skulle klare tingene selv! Selvom der hele tiden var tegn og beviser på at hun netop ikke kunne klar det her ting selv! Hun havde ikke fået Angel til at tale engelsk over hovedet på nogen måde, ikke engang enkelte ord, nej Angel var klappet helt i og ind i mellem nægte at svare overhovedet, ej heller på Italiensk.

Hun så på Luca, hun kunne mærke hvordan hendes vrede sprang frem i hende som Luca talte til hende med en hævet stemme og ikke særligt rar måde. ” Du fatter det virkelig ikke? Jeg er fucking mor til Angel! Luca for fanden! Jeg prøver at gøre alt men jeg kan ingen ting! Jeg kan ikke engang beskytte min egen datter fra hendes fucking far! Jeg havde nær mistet min pige! Jeg stoler på dig og fucking værdsætter din hjælp mere end du måske tror efter du fandt dette brev! Er du klar over meget jeg kæmper med at holde sammen på mig selv? Holde sammen på en datter som ikke engang kan sove fucking alene efter det der skete! råbte hun til Luca, man kunne så hendes øjne blev røde ikke at vrede med at tåre, hun prøvede virkelig at holde sammen på sig selv. ” Jeg vil gerne have din hjælp! Men når man er mor er der også bare ting man selv må gøre! Hvis ikke jeg får Angel til at tale Engelsk lige så godt som hendes italiensk bliver vi smidt ud af landet! Tilbage til Italien tilbage til en eks mand som vil gøre alt muligt shit mod mig og Angel!” Sagde hun og så vredt på ham og havde tydeligt en hævet og høj stemme. Et sted håbede hun ikke Angel ville høre dem eller vågne af dette, for hun ville ikke have at hun skulle se eller høre dette.

” Jeg gør for helvede alt hvad jeg kan for at få mit liv til at hænge sammen! Jeg har ikke engang et fucking arbejde! Alt ser så let ud for dig og alle andre men det er ikke så fucking let som du måske går og tror det er!”Sagde hun som tårerne fik frit løb, hun rystede så meget af vrede at hun var bange for hvad hun kunne komme til at gøre! Hun ville ikke blive voldelig ikke mod Luca eller Angel for den sags skyld. Hun forblev tavs som hun prøvede at få styr på sin vejrtrækning og mens hun kiggede væk, hun kunne ikke se på ham! Hun var så flov, flov over at hun ikke bare havde indset at hun ikke havde kunne klare dette alene og ikke bare bedt om hjælp fra Luca fra starten da hun havde modtaget brevet.

Hun skulle til at sige noget men stoppede, hun kom i tanke om brevet, hun havde taget ud af postkassen tidligere på dagen, det var fra myndighederne havde hun set på kuverten men hun havde ikke haft tid til at åbne det, hun gik ud i gangen for at hente det i sin jakke, selvom det måske ikke var den bedste tid og ide at gøre det lige nu. Hun åbnede brevet mens hun stod ude i gangen, det kunne også give Luca lidt luft, hun vidste at han var vred på hende og hun kunne godt forstå ham! Men han måtte fandme også kunne se det fra hendes siden. Hun stivnede helt som hun havde læst brevet inden hun fortsatte ind igen stuen igen og kastede brevet mod Luca. ” Ja og nu skal jeg så også kæmpe med at Angels far vil have myndigheden over Angel… Fatter du det snart! Jeg laver ikke andet end at fucking kæmpe for at få et godt liv! Jeg flygtede her til fordi mit liv var i fare jeg håbede at få et ordentligt liv! Men ikke engang her kan jeg få et ordentligt liv! Sagde hun og bryd sammen, hun var dybt ulykkelig, vred og frusterede. Hun kiggede ikke engang på Luca men valgte at gå ud i køkkenet for at få luft til at få styr på sig selv.

It wasn't that he particularly wanted to be angry and yell at her - he just couldn't help it. He'd never really known how to control and handle any of his feelings... He'd gotten a bit better at it while he'd had Chloe by his side, but after she had disappeared, it had grown worse than ever, and he had literally no control over his feelings or his temper at this point in time. He simply lost control, and therefore - he just let it all out when it got to be too much, and this was one of those times. He'd had a hunch something had been wrong for some time, but to find out that it was something as serious as this... Really, how hard was it to ask for help?

Yes, he got that she wanted to do things on her own, but goddammit, anybody should be able to realize they can't deal with serious shit like this all on their own while raising a small child, too! And it really just pushed to his temper, to know that she'd deliberately kept this hidden from him, when he could've tried to help a long time ago.

"I do get it! I really do! I just don't get why you couldn't realize this is something you can't just handle on your own! I get that you're fighting to keep everything together, why the fuck do you think I offer my help at every fucking turn? I get that it's incredibly difficult and goddammit, I just want the best for both of you, don't you fucking get that?! BUT I CAN'T HELP IF YOU DON'T FRIGGIN LET ME!" he yelled, practically screaming at her at the end, and just before he lost control completely, he turned around, and wound up punching the wall instead of her. No matter how angry he got, he never wanted to hit any of his family and friends. The sound proved that he at the very least sprained several of his fingers, but at this point he just welcomed the pain, and didn't even make a noise in recognition of it, the pain made his feelings a bit easier to ignore.

"I've never thought things were easy for you. Never, ever. My life has been incredibly difficult, but I do realize this shit's even harder for you than anything I've ever dealt with. Or at the very least on par with the time that friggin demon kept me locked up for years and used me as his own personal little sex toy," he sighed - this was the first time he'd ever told anyone about that, seeing as he tried not to think about that time himself, at all, if he could help it.

"I figured he might." he said, to when she returned and told him about Angel's dad trying to get custody over her. "I took all of the papers he had at the place. The fake passports and everything. We have more than enough evidence to get him convicted and strip him of any possibility of ever getting custody over her. It's all in the red box in the study." he sighed, and then grit his teeth. He wanted to go comfort her, deep down he did, but the anger was still too present in his mind and body - if he went over to her, he didn't know whether he'd actually hug her, or wind up punching her for the hurt he still felt, so he stayed right where he was, in the opposite end of the room.

Gabbie så på Luca og lyttede til ham, hun var ikke typen der bare ville afbryde ham og ikke lade ham få et ord indført. Sådan var hun ikke, men de ord som kom fra Luca var jo sande og han havde jo ret i hver eneste lille ting han sagde. Hun var ikke supermand og ville ikke kunne klare hele verden alene. At Luca valgte at fortælle hende hvad der var sket med ham før, hen gjorde hende så bange og endnu mere ked af det.

Hun vidste ikke hvad hun skulle sige eller gøre, det nemmest bare at gå ud i køkkenet for at få luft, sådan at de ikke stod lige op ad hinanden. Det havde heller ikke gjort det bedre på nogen måde at Luca valgte at slå til væggen, det gjorde hende bange. Særligt fordi hun havde levet i vold fra hendes eks mand. ” i’m so sorry Luca” sagde hun stille til ham som hun havde givet ham brevet fra hendes jakke. Hun vidstej o godt at Luca ville gøre alt for hende og Angel. Hun var bare for stædig og blind til at ville bede om alt den hjælp han gerne ville give hende. ” i don’t want to lose you and Angel, you both mean a lot to me, more than you know” sagde hun stille og så ham, hendes øjne var helt røde af hendes gråd, hendes hænder rystede svagt. Hun havde det ikke godt, men ønskede heller ikke at de skulle skændes mere, hun kunne ikke klar det. ” I don’t want him to take my daughter from me Luca, I’m so scared Luca. I can’t even sleep at night because I’m afraid that he will get here again and take my Angel” sagde hun og så bange på ham.

At skulle gå hen og give Luca et kram var tiltalende, man hun vidste ikke hvordan han ville håndtere det. ” i Will never hide something for you agian, sorry Luca. I’m really sorry” sagde hun stille og gik hen til ham, for at give ham et kram. Hvis han ikke ville kramme var det iorden, men han skulle vide at hun ikke var sur på ham men at hun havde det noget så inderligt dårligt med at hun havde snakket sådan til ham og havde skjult det for ham.

It really was an extremely good thing that Gabbie didn't even try to interrupt him - with how much his temper was boiling right at this point, it wouldn't have been a wise choice to interrupt him, no matter who you were. He was fighting hardto keep himself from punching her, after all, despite never wanting to hurt his close friends or family - and that was why he took it out on the wall instead, never minding the now sprained fingers, the pain simply gave him something else to focus on, helped him.

He did notice just how red her eyes were - but he bit his lip and looked away, the anger still very much evident in his features, in the way he clenched his fists despite the searing, stabbing pain from his sprained joints.

"I know you're fucking scared of him, and I get it. I just... When you're this scared, you should be trying to get all the bloody help you could ever have! You should know where to turn to, who to trust! I mean, I know I haven't been the best big brother I could be, but goddammit! I'm still here for you, you know?!" he really hadn't wanted to raise his voice, but he couldn't help it... Trying not to lash out in the anger, it only made it easier to hear it in the way he spoke, or rather, half-yelled.

As she went over to hug him, he sighed, and stepped away from the hug, shaking his head no. "Don't," he warned her, holding his hands up in front of himself. "I don't want to hurt you." he then said, and sighed, before running a hand through his hair, and then taking a quick decision, in order to get rid of most of his anger. "... I need to go take a swim. And not in my pool. You can follow along if you like, but it won't be a pretty sight." he sighed, yet again, and shook his head before he went over to the door, and put on his jacket, getting ready to leave.