Take me back to the night we met

It was no lie that Karmena did harbour some sort of feeling for the werewolf. After all, their first meeting had been special, she had opened her heart and he had taken it in his hands for just a while. Finding out that Amary felt the same, had knocked her off her feet and left a complicated feeling towards Dean. She couldnt forget that he had tried to mend her fragile broken heart, and some part of her felt a deep sorrow about the feelings he had that she couldnt return. She still wanted him in her life, as long as she was in his timeline. She didnt dare to think about how things would be in the future, hell she wasnt even sure if she would come back.
She eyed the lake as they had walked there, a raised eyebrow betrayed her in her confusion. He picked this place of all places? She was pulled out of the thought as he spoke to her, his dare made her sigh deeply as she looked out on the dirty lake water. "It's filthy, you know I hate anything unclean," she said in a rather low tone. His tease and grin made her groan as she turned her eyes back to the water. Was he actually serious about this? Oh, he was. She walked closer to the water, starring at it like it was the devil's work. "Anything?" she asked in a neutral ton, turning her stoic face back at the werewolf.

She made a dismayed grunt as he tried to convince her this was a good idea. She widened her eyes as he challenged her with the good old fashioned Or are you a chicken?. She almost felt like just jumping in to prove that she wasnt, but then again, she knew she would quickly come to regret it. His confirmation made her consider it, before she bowed down and pulled off her shoes. She threw them on the grass and felt the cold grass between her toes, and the dirt underneath that made her inner clean freak go into a deep panic that was hid underneath the surface. She lifted her dress and then took a step into the lake, a short gasp left her lips as she saw the dirty water surround her leg in no time. She turned her eyes back to Dean. She wasnt going to give up on the challenge. "If you push me, you'll regret it," she warned him rather seriously as she turned her eyes back to the water. One foot in, only one to go. She sighed from the bottom of her heart and seemed to be in an inner fight. "Whats your biggest fear?" she then asked to think about something else than her foot in the water.

"You wouldnt dare," she said, already imagining the horrible feeling of the water all around her. She would definitely go crazy if she had to go through that. His words made her stare at the water for a bit, as she didnt know what to say. He already knew that her heart belonged to Amary, but rubbing it in his face again just seemed cruel.
She listened to him as he explained his fear and stared down at her foot in the water, scrunching her face a bit in dismay but it was barely noticeable for people who didnt know her, Dean would probably see the disgust that hid in her micro expressions. She was relieved to hear that he wasnt going to drag her in, but she had noted that he also feared the water, but for a different reason. She raised an eyebrow as he mentioned skydiving and turned her head to him, "Then do it. It's pretty fun," she said as he then asked about her biggest fear. She didnt answer, but instead she grabbed his hand and guided him with her out into the water as she finally took her last step, feeling the water trickle softly up against her legs as the wind made it's small waves.
She turned her eyes ahead as she exhaled deeply and looked out upon the water. "My biggest fear is losing my family," she then said as she gulped almost quietly at the thought, "Not my real family. The family that came here with me," she then said truthfully, just staring at the reflection in the water, clutching his hand slightly, like she seeked the comfort from him. "The little girl in me just wanted to feel loved... Feel protected. But I was alone," she went quiet for a while as her eyes spaced out. "Instead I learned how to protect myself. And the people I care for," her voice went usually low as she spoke.

She looked at him as she held his hand and heard his words. But if she was going to go through this, he was going down as well, only because her selfishness told her that she couldnt do it without him - And something in her hoped that he would feel better when she was there for him too. She felt bad when she saw how hard it was for him to be in the water, his expressions tearing away at her heart, suddenly a feeling of regret was boiling up in her, and the shame she felt from being selfish enough to drag him with her. She gave his shaking hand a squeeze but couldnt say anything. She should have said something, just anything, but she felt at a loss of words.
When she had told him her biggest fear, she sighed at his answer and watched the water flow soothingly. "Immortal doesnt mean they cant die. Ramsay may be in hell, but he is coming back. The future hasnt changed, I would have felt it," she then said as her eyes had a sad expression. The demon's torment in the future wasnt avoidable, but she was glad that she had already gone through it, because she probably couldnt do it all over again.
At the mention of the inevitable departure, she felt her heart drop as she realized that they were leaving him behind. She turned to him and grabbed his other hand as she looked into his eyes, "I dont want to leave," she then said truthfully before her gaze moved over to the water again, her hands holding his tight. "Leaving means losing you" her voice was oddly uneven, but she wasnt going to show more emotion than that, but clearly it was something that was affecting her deeply. She exhaled from the bottom of her stomach, "I dont want to lose you, Dean," she then said, turning her eyes back to him as she let go of his hands and pulled him in to a close hug.
Just because she couldnt give him her heart, didnt mean that she didnt care deeply for him. She did, more than she would ever admit. And the mere thought of a future where he was older and probably had moved on, gotten happier with someone else - It was selfish to feel sad about it. She laid her chin on his shoulder, closing her eyes as she tightened the hug. "I dont know how to go on without having you at my side. I have Amary, but I also need you," she said in a muffle as she had dug her face down to his shoulder, her shoulders slightly trembling, like she was about to cry.