I never apologized for what I did - Abigal

@Abigal <3

It had been some crazy ass days, and she didn't honestly know what to think any more. Lucifer trying to take over Felicitys body. Everything that was going on, her taking on a mission and killing Lucifer in cold blood. Abigal hadn't slept that well since the killing, it was like her mind couldn't handle what she in truth were capable of. So when Kyle couldn't sleep, she woke up quite faster than expected.
"No it's fine," she mumbled and opened her eyes slowly and lifted herself up on her elbow. "Why can't you sleep?" She asked softly. She knew a lot of things went on in their minds. And they were so busy with everything else, that they seemed to forget themselves and each other for that matter. Abigal took his hand and gave it a little squeeze. She knew something must go on in his mind, but what was a better question.

He admitted there was a lot of her mind, and she looked gently at him to remind him - that she was there to listen. So that was what she did, she listened to what Kyle had to say. Abigal took a deep breath in and smiled a little bit. They had their story, and like every other story - there was a darker chapter. His hurtful expression made her think back to that day. Abigal held her breath for a second.
"If true love was easy.. everyone would have it," she said and breathed out. Of course that day had been hurtful, she still remembered every single thing that happened that day. It had taken them a while to actually be on just somehow good terms again - and the pretend part had been the hardest.
"We did what we thought was right at the time being - we can't change what happened that day," she pointed out. She didn't blame him for anything that had happened that day, maybe the first few days she had - but that was around it. "We are here now. Together.. and there is no place I would rather be than with you."

It warmed his heart to hear her call their love for true love. It was also what he believed, that what they had was as true as it could get. Which meant that rejecting her was such a mistake. He still remembered how cold they got between one another and how long it took for them to build up a decent relationship. "I was haunted by the kiss I believed that you should never have given me. Looking back, I.." he paused and cleared his throat, "I'm sorry," he then just said because he wasnt sure what he was going to say. "I'm just glad that we got on good terms again, but it was never enough. I thought about you all the time, making myself think it was just worrying for your safety. But I was in love with you, my heart had been yours, even before the kiss. The kiss just sealed that ownership that you had," he smiled a little and talked with his heart, but it faded.
She was right, but it still bothered him, what he said and did, and he could only think that he had been braindead or just downright dumb for it. He looked away and let her finish before he started: "But I lied. I didnt truly believe what I said, and yet I said it anyway," he then said rather seriously, but it was also clear that it was upsetting him deeply. He exhaled shakingly and entangled their fingers as he looked into her eyes. "I hurt us both with what I said. But most importantly, I hurt you. And I regret it every day..." he admitted, shaking his head as flashes from that time came back into his head, how hurt she looked. It was tearing him apart just to think about. He lifted her hand that was in his, and kissed her fingers between his while his eyes were on their hands, "You're going to be my wife, and I couldnt be happier.. Truly. But I still want to apologize for it... I love you with all my heart," the words were soft and his voice turned into a whisper at the last sentence. He kissed her fingers again and put his other hand over their hands.

She didn't like that he gave himself all the blame. She was the one who had said that they could just pretend it didn't happen, but they had been so bad at pretending. Clearly something had been up. Most people had thought it was about her small tricks, that she had mastered the act of pissing Kyle off. Abigal could start an argument with him about who was right, but she didn't - she just listened to him. Abigal agreed, it was hard to get on good terms again - but she was glad they did. Abigal swallowed as he said he lied. She knew that. It wouldn't have hurt them both so much if it had been because they didn't care. Abigal looked at their fingers entangled with each other and smiled. Abigal took a deep breath in, she wasn't the one holding anything against anyone - expect Felicity. Abigal listened to his last words before she leaned in to kiss him, short but lovely.
"I forgive you. If you forgive me for being a bitch about it," she gave him a little smirk. She hadn't been the most nice girl about it, seeking out more and more attention - all the parties and celebrations at the house. Company by strangers, all to make him regret that decision. "I'll admit, I had et against you for a while. But then I realized, it was as much you as it was me. If I hadn't been such a jealous person, I would never had called you in that night," she had to admit her reasons back then.
"I get terribly jealous when it comes to someone I love," she whispered before leaning in to give him another kiss. But the past was the past, and they had to realize that.
"And I love you very much," she smiled looking into his eyes with only love.

She giggled a little, when he said the she could have killed the girl with a look. Which wasn't a lie. She had to admit that. Abigal was used to have what she wanted, and it had killed her slowly that she couldn't have him - but also made her realise how real that emotion was and how pure and thankful she had been feeling this way. Perhaps that was the reason she wasn't angry for what had happened.
"I'm not angry with you for it. I'm somehow thankful.. it seems silly to say.. " she took a deep breathe in, "I'm used to people liking me for what I am.. and not who I am.. I'm used to getting whatever I want.. and being with you just made me realize.. you love me for me, and you weren't afraid to tell me off. Most people would just have taken on the chance and perhaps forgot about it the next - and they would have bragged about it to their friends. "And perhaps back then wasn't our time.. but now is our time, and we are gonna take on the world," she gave him a warm smirk. And even through it hurt, it reminded me how pure this is and how much I want to cherish us for where we are today," she smiled. It was a longer speech, but it was her truth. It was how she had felt. Not something a lot of people knew about.  Abigal smiled as he said they did work in the end. All good things were never easy. His hand on her stomach made her smile brighter.
"That we are," she added with a joyful look.  His lips touched her stomach, and she couldn't remember the last time she had been so thrilled to start a family with someone. It seemed like ages ago that she had a slight hope for feeling happy, and now they were here. She giggled a little as he said he hoped it would be a girl. She could see it in her mind, and she loved that vision.
"A girl.. a boy.. as long as I'm having a family with you, I'm happy," she smiled at him with those big doe eyes of hers. Full of happiness.

//Vi har aftalt out <3