There is a hell. I know now, for I am living it. - Azrael (fremtids emne)

Tid: 19:40 mandag d. 29. Januar.
Sted: Værelse 6 på drengenes gang, Luca's eneværelse.
Omgivelser: Gulvet flyde rmed papirer med håndskrevne sangtekster, ligeledes gør det ellers tomme badekar. Der står vandflasker hist og her, de fleste tomme.
Vejr: Blæsende.
Outfit: tøj + hår(blot med en smule mere længde på). Ingen makeup denne dag.

@Azrael
________________________________________________________________

Another voicemail, another text sent. Still no answer from her. Luca knew very well that Chloe was avoiding him, in person as much as she was dodging everything he sent her way. It had been almost a week since their breakup, and nothing had managed to distract him from thinking about her, not even his job - yeah, not even music, the biggest passion he'd ever had. Everything just kept on reminding him of her, every little thing... Even Crow. So maybe it was just a good thing he was out today, so he wouldn't make Luca cry again, just looking at him and remembering how much Chloe had liked him.

And still, music was as much an outlet for him as it'd ever been. The papers strewn all across his room were the proof of that. Half-finished lyrics here and there, all for songs in his head, dedicated to Chloe. Maybe he couldn't really say how he felt, or even show it properly, but music. His music, his lyrics, they had always been his letout, now more than ever as he sat there in the corner of the room, on the bed that rarely ever got used, scribbling down lyrics even as he sang them, straight from his mind.

"Now our lives have changed, I wish that I could heal
Time has taken love, a darker side revealed
For every lie begins with what we used to feel

Blaming myself
Tied to these chains
Living in pain
All of your tears, everything gone
Is it too late?
Walk away..."

// Sangen (er ofc også hans VC der synger den...)

He was furious, he had just left a crying broken girl in her room, she did not fucking deserve this! she had fucking dance competition tonight... He looked down at the sleeping girl one more time and kissed her forehead "a promise is a promise.....im going to kill that piece of shit....and then you and me can fuck off from this school....i swear it's cursed.....i will be back soon...." he whispered in her ear before standing up and closing the door. *Time to kill that stupid Sirene.....it's bad enough he fucked someone else...but he needs to stop this....he is making it worse....i can't watch her break in front of my eyes every time she looks at her phone....this needs to end now....*

As he walked down the corridor and over to the reception he had to relax before he asked where Luca's room was "hello darling im looking for Luca Serra? he has something that belongs to me, can you tell me his room number? " his eyes were calm, but his hands were shaking and tiny blue sparks where dancing around his hands. "room 6" he nodded and left .

When he finally made it over to the door he looked at the time '19:40' *i can easily kill him and make it back, and still make it in time to see her win*, he was about to knock on the door when he heard singing on the other side of the door *you have got to be joking! he cheats on her, harasses her and he still thinks he has the right to act like this!*

In a storm of fury he blasted Luca's door open, before stepping in, his eyes lock on Luca "hello Luca...im sorry but this isn't a social visit....more along the line of a funeral..."

Luca had been so engrossed in writing his lyrics, singing to test them out, if he could really get all of the emotions firing off in his brain right now, out in the open. He never could do it any justice just talking or writing, but singing... Music was what really showed his feelings for everyone to see, it always had, and it was therefore the only way he knew of really letting it all out.

So, having been so caught up in it, the feelings he still harbored for Chloe being put into his song and writing, he jumped like half a foot when Azrael just suddenly burst into his room. The Luca that Azrael would see was nowhere near his usual self, no, there were clear lines of tears having spilled down his cheeks, his hair was a mess, no makeup, and he'd only just thrown on the nearest clothes to keep warm. If there'd been warm enough he wouldn't even have bothered with that and just sat in his undies.

He swallowed at the look on Azrael's face, at the harsh tone in his words, a moment of panic in his own clear blue eyes, but... It was to be expected. Especially with how he'd made sure to thoroughly tell him new years' eve. "I know. You made sure to tell me back when we met." he bit his lip and put down his pen and the notepad which had clear tear stains on it. "Just get it over with, then. Nothing can be worse than knowing how much I hurt her. The one person I've ever truly loved. And still do. I'm a fucking idiot for throwing that away." he muttered, voice thick with emotion. Yeah, none of the cocky attitude left. He was broken, all the way through, and he knew it was his own damn fault things had turned out like this.

Outfit

Azrael just stood there and stared at him "are you fucking serious!" he could feel the anger and energy building up around his body "she is the kindest most loving thing in world! she is the only fucking reason im still at this school!!! the only reason i havn't just given up and...!" blue flames where circling his fingers, his eyes turned white and for a spilt-second he was filled with this primal hunger and anger *fuck....relax...don't eat his brains....or some shit like that*

He grabed Luca by the neck and slamed him up against the door"i love that girl to death, and what you did to her what you are doing to her!! with your stupid unwanted text and voicemails! because of you! i found her in a fucking ally fild with dead bodies!! she was so gone she almost killed me!!" he shouted and punced him in the stomac. his hand around his throt the only thing keeping him up.

"so please do tell me why, you think you have the right to feel sorry for yourself!! you either have to fucking die or leave her alone! because im not losing her!!! so give one fucking reason why you deserve to live!! and better be more than because you love her!! because so do i"

Luca barely got to hear what the witch was saying, before he was suddenly picked up by the neck and slammed into the door, groaning as the breath was knocked right out of him with the punch to his gut that followed. It hurt, yes, but that pain was bearable compared to what he'd felt these past few days. But Azrael's words really hit home. Tears welled up in his eyes... He'd broken her even worse than he thought... Almost making her lose her humanity... Dammit... Involuntarily, a sob tore loose from his throat, and tears welled up in his eyes but didn't spill just yet.

His hands had automatically gone up to Azrael's hand, feebly trying to remove it at first, but, after all, since they were up on land, there wasn't much he could do purely strength-wise. He could always just turn his body, or at least his neck, to water to remove himself from Azrael's grip, but it wouldn't do any good, after all. He'd just go ahead and grab him by the throat again. Or maybe shock him, which really, really hurt like a bitch if he was using that power at the same time.

"I'm not trying to hurt her, Azrael," he told him, honestly, just a bit breathless with the grip on his throat. "Anything but. I'm hoping for just a single chance, another shot at making her as happy as I could see she was. I know I screwed everything up, just please... I want to make her happy again. More than anything else in the whole world. I just want to see her smile and laugh again." and there was nothing but honesty and sincerity in those incredibly clear blue eyes looking at Azrael right now.

His eyes were locked on Luca's throat and the tiny movements he made to get free, but the thing that ticked him off the most was the sobbing *what the fuck gives him the right! he did this!* his had automatically gone up to Azrael's hand, feebly trying to remove it at first, but it only made Azrael tighten his grip, he waved his other hand in front of Luca's face small sparks flying and emanating from his body *it would be so easy to just kill him...*.

He tried to relax and listen to Luca, but his words made him angrier.... the second punch was aimed at his sternum, with a shock of magic just for that extra kick "right lets try this again" he looked Luca dead in the eyes, and slowly loosened his grip on the boy's throat, slowly letting him fall to the floor .

if you aren't trying to hurt her then leave her alone!! if you want to make her happy then leave! she fucking begged my to take away her memories of you! that is how much you fucking broke her! she was crying in my arms! she....the girl i know and love is gone and all because you had to fuck someone else!! sorry but if you can't see what an amazing lover she is, and you need to go eles wher to get it up then, maybe you aren't worth all the praise she gave you *low blow....but fuck him...i still really wanna kill him....but if i do....i will lose her...* "the worst part is she still fucking loves you!!!! the amount of hate and pain she is feeling...means that she still fucking loves you! and you don't deserve it....".

He sank down onto the floor next to Luca "i want her to be happy...but i don't trust you....i don't want to let her give one more chance...because trust me she will....but you aren't right for her...i don't want her to hurt again.." he said his voice small and full of sadness

And there it was again, just a spark of panic in Luca's eyes, purely instinctual. Now, in other situations he didn't mind getting choked a bit, but this was, after all, not one of those situations, and the pained grunt was louder, sharper this time around, feeling the extra oomph the magic added to it. He gave just a single cough when Azrael let go of him again, gingerly rubbing his neck when he'd been holding it, watching him and listening carefully. Hearing that... Yeah, he knew he'd fucked up, but he was apparently only just starting to realize exactly how much.

Luca looked down at his lap for a few seconds, biting his lip, considering his words. He still really, truly, deeply loved her too... That was why he was trying to get her back, after all. But he wasn't sure how he could convince Azrael to let him anywhere near her again. He looked up and over at the with when he sat down next to him, and swallowed. "I..." he sighed. "Look, I really don't know what to say to convince you that I'm telling you the truth. I haven't ever been good with feelings. I haven't ever really been in love before. But I know I was with Chloe. Still am. I love her to fuckin' death and all the way back again. I'd do anything for that girl. Anything to try to make up for the shit I've done. And before you tell me, yes, I know there's nothing that can really make up for breaking her trust like that. I hate myself just as much for that as you do, believe me." he told him quietly, honestly, before looking down at some of the scattered pages around them with all the unfinished song lyrics, all his emotions let out on paper.

"Normally I'd sing to let out my feelings. Singing has always been my way of letting it out. It's so much easier for me to convey them like than, than it is through just speaking. This..." he gestured towards the huge mess of papers, "... Is me trying to come up with a way to explain what I've been feeling this... Almost past week. I can't get her out of my head, Azrael. I need her. And I was stupid enough to throw her away before I really knew what I had."

Azrael saw him slide to the ground, Luca gave just a single cough when Azrael let go of him again, gingerly rubbing his neck when he'd been holding it, Azrael laughed and looked at Luca *good...be terrified...sob for all i care...im still going to end you...or no because....she still loves him....fuck....*

"I..." Azrael glared at him as he spoke "oh cry me a river!" he shouted at him and hurled a bolt of magic at the wall behind him. if you really loved her then why the fuck did you do it!!! i don't fucking care about your stupid feelings! or songs or how you are trying to understand or some stupid emo romantic bullshit!! he sighed and closed his eye, willing away the anger inside him trying to burst out, he looked down at his hands, a grey hue adorning his skin as it slowly started to decay....*oh fuck....*

"You made her think she wasn't enough....Chloe! the wildest and most open girl ever! what the fuck couldn't she give you! she loves you! dear god she would say yes to anything without a lick of judgment! so what was so bad you couldn't tell her so bad you had to get it somewhere else!" he looked at him and shook his head "how do i know you won't hurt her again? if you can do this one time a second time will be even easier...i can't lose her Luca.....i have lost too many people in my life....i won't lose her....she is all i have at this point....how do i know you won't break her again.... tell me....because i want to see her happy and smiling again more than anything"

Luca did notice the laugh, but he didn't care all that much about it. Azrael had every damn right to beat him up for what he'd done, he deserved it. He deserved a lot more than the beating he'd gotten right now. Being so stupid... Why the fuck had he been so shy to tell her that that was the one thing he'd been missing? Fucking male pride or some stupid shit like that, probably. ARGH!!!

He flinched at the bolt of magic that just suddenly hurled past him, his gaze turning to the angry witch again, apprehension present along with th erest of the huge jumble of emotions running through his head at the moment. "I..." he sighed, bit his lip, tried to come up with the right words, but he couldn't, so he simply just spoke his mind, said the words as they came to him instead, the weight of his emotions bearing down on each and every word. "I... I don't know, Azrael. I've never been able to admit it to a girl before. I... I couldn't with Chloe, either. I don't know why. I know she'd say yes to it, at least in hindsight I do, but... It's just... I'm a fucking idiot, and and weird-ass one at that, too. I do know I have a lot of flaws, actually, that's what comprises most of me. I just try to cover up every fucking uncertainty I have about myself with my brash attitude and having fucked around as much as I have. I... Maybe I was scared. Scared of exposing myself too much to someone, even her." he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, closing his eyes for a bit.

"And... I can't give you any guarantee it won't happen again. That I won't hurt her again. I don't ever want to, can't imagine myself ever doing it to her again, but the future is always uncertain. But I can guarantee you one thing: If it would ever happen again, you wouldn't ever be seeing me again. I'd rather kill myself than ever have to watch that look on her face again." he was staring right in front of himself, out into thin air for a moment there, his mind replaying the exact moment he had been able to see her heart shatter, just in the look in her eyes. It almost made him nauseous just thinking about it, before he turned to look at Azrael again, in his eyes, just to make sure he could see that he damn well wasn't lying when he said this. "We both have the same goal, Azrael. I really, truly, just wish to hear her laugh and see her smile again, like she did when we were together. Won't you please help me get a second chance at this? Let me prove myself worthy of her trust, and yours, again. Please."

Azrael sat and listened to what he had to say*dear fucking god what the fuck could he want that it was so bad that he couldn't tell her!*, he bit his lip and sighed, he couldn't let her go through all that again... he broke her...shattered her into a 1000 pieces... he turned to look at Azrael again, in his eyes Azrael could see that he damn well wasn't lying when he said his next words.

"I'm not...oh fuck....this is such a mess..promise me you will tell her why...that you will give her a chance to see for herself if the thing you want is so bad that she wouldn't want you... Relationships take effort...you need to work at it...let yourself open up...even if it sucks and hurts..and scares you...." he opened a pack of cigarets, he rolled his eyes back the second he felt the smoke fill his lungs "but if you ever and i mean ever do this again...you will leave ...you will never speak to her again...if you do....I will kill...and this time i mean it... " he took a long drag of his cigarette at puffed out the smoke "but....im not the problem...the problem is how the fuck are we gonna get the two of you in one room... "

//sorry det blev lidt kort <3

Luca, well... Basically sat there and waited, biting his lip a little, his heart beating just a bit harder, a bit faster in his chest. But he relaxed just a little when the witch's next words weren't quite as hostile as before. He swallowed and nodded at his words, sighing and looking away. "I... I kinda get that now. I've... Only ever been in one serious relationship before. And that was an open one. I..." he sighed, and ran a rather frustrated hand through his long hair, "... I wasn't even in love back then. I know that now. What I feel for her... It's so much stronger than anything else I've ever felt. I've just... Felt like I've been missing a part of myself I ever even knew I needed, these past days." he had no other way to put it into words, so they'd have to do.

"Don't worry... I will tell her. I'll tell her everything she wants to and needs to know. No more damn secrets from now on." he muttered. "And... If it would ever happen again... There'd be no way for me to ever speak to her again, because I'd go off and end myself right away." he sighed. "You don't have to kill me at that point, I'll gladly do it myself." eventually, he found his own pack of cigarettes to lit one up, too. He really couldn't help it if someone else was smoking right next to him, made him itch like crazy after it, for as many years as he'd smoked by now. "Yeah... I noticed. She smells me from like a mile away. Tried to catch her outside one of her classrooms, but she just uses that damn speed to get past me. If we were in the water, no problem catching up to her, but on land.... I really don't stand a chance of getting her to stay in one place... You don't have any magic tricks that can get her to stay in one place, do you?""

He sat completely still while Luca was talking....a tiny lump forming in his throat. *fuck...he's got it bad...how the fuck a i suppose to be mad at him when is sitting there like his soul is breaking into a thousand pieces....* he slowly moved over putting a hand on Luca's shoulder "you are making my job of hating you very hard mate....fuck...you really do love her..." he leaned back against the wall and puffed out a cloud of smoke.

Azrael didn't say anything he just nodded his head *as long as he stays away from her...i don't care what he does with himself...now....how to save a relationship....can't really google that...*eventually, Luca found his own pack of cigarettes to lit one up, too. Azrael just smiled and looked up at the celling.

"I might have a idea how to get around that tiny problem..." he said as a small smile appeared on his face "buuuut....promise me that if she tries to kill me that you will protect me..." he looked down at his watch and got up "be in her room tomorrow a 18 o'clock...i will make sure she isn't there...but i need to go back to her she....i need to check on her...but tomorrow a 18...don't be late...and don't let her kill me...." he grabbed Luca's shirt and pushed him against the wall AND.DO.NOT.FUCK.THIS.UP...I.AM.WARNING.YOU

"I do. I really do. I... I never thought I could love someone else this much. I... I just..." he sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I really don't feel like life is worth living without her, anymore." he admitted, biting his lip before he took another puff of his cigarette. He looked over at the witch again when he felt the hand on his shoulder, and saw the small smile there. He tried going for just the smallest smile himself, in return, but it just didn't happen. He couldn't even fake happiness right now. But there was still just the smallest glimmer of hope in his eyes when Azrael told him that he might have an idea to make this happen, and then his condition for him to try.

"Of course," Luca instantly said, scarcely taking the breath of a second to answer, his mind made up from the very beginning. Whatever it took to get just one small chance at getting her back into his life. To get some meaning in his life again. "I... I can't know how effective I'll be in that situation, but I'll do whatever I can." he told him, choosing to be realistic about this. If she used her speed and all, well, he was physically incapable of matching that, after all. He listened to the rest of what the witch told him, and nodded. "18... Got it. I'll be there." It wasn't like he had anything else to do, and when it was something this important, he wouldn't mess it up. He just couldn't. He twitched a little, a small, soft, surprised noise escaping his throat when he was once more pushed up against the wall by Azrael, and swallowed the lump that'd formed in his throat. ".... I won't," he managed to get out after a couple of seconds.