The veil is removed

Roman wouldn’t know what to think right now. ”So I only deserve decency, if I’m part of the Serpents?” He knew it wasn’t Victoria’s fault, but he felt like he had been used or even abused by her. He just didn’t like it and wanted to stay away from her for a bit, as much as possible. If they didn’t have a chance to talk it through before, at least. ”Sure, invite her over. But I can’t promise I’ll behave. I won’t be treated like that.” To him it was a big deal. He didn’t have much in this life, but his freedom to choose was one of the biggest things to him, and Anastasia had taken that away from her. ”I don’t mean to be an asshole, but this is a big deal for me.” He felt things could become ugly if Anastasia came over, but he wanted to get it over with too.

Roman didn’t care how their decency worked. Why the hell should he fit in with them, if they made no attempt to fit in with his? He didn’t think it was fair to expect him to just do everything to please anyone. He wasn’t going to live like that anymore. Even though he still did so a lot. ”Why should I? I deserve to be fucking angry.” He took in a sharp breath and stood up. ”I won’t be able to.” Anger was close to the only emotion he actually felt. And when he did feel it, it was very prominent. He couldn’t hold back and would definitely end up confronting Anastasia if he got there. He tightened his jaw and walked forward a little bit. ”What would happen if I did confront her?” Maybe if he knew the consequences, he could manage to stop himself.

Roman was getting really worked up over this. So, he was supposed to just play by another person’s rules? Do whatever he could to please them? Hell no. He was never going to live like that. ”I would rather die than let anyone control me.” He was not a stupid man. He knew when to act out and when not to. He just often got worked up and let his anger and injustice cloud his judgment. Once he stood before Anastasia, he would act with a clearer head. ”You don’t know anything about me. I can pick my battles well. I also just learned I live like kettle amongst a lot of people here. I need a fucking moment to catch up.” He didn’t mean to blow up on Victoria, but it was her stirring the emotions up in him, even if it was only her intention to protect him.

Roman had trouble holding in his anger. It was not a problem most days. But because he harbored all the things making him angry, when he did let it out, he would often explode entirely. Which was what was going to happen here, if he didn’t manage to calm down. It would without doubt ruin his chance of finding a home here, but he just couldn’t let go of it. It felt like it was consuming him. His jaw tightened when she kept talking. He felt like she was talking down to him, like she was lecturing him. He hadn’t had the best relationship with authority figures, so if he felt he was being treated unfairly, he would blow his top. It didn’t really matter who did the treatment.
He stood with his back to her but heard her moving closer. His fists were clenched, and he was fighting with everything he had to not explode. She might think she understand, but he was sure nobody could know how he felt. They had not had his experiences, so how could they? He felt a calm wash over him, and it did help for a bit. That was until he understood what had been done. He removed his arms from her hand. ”Don’t fucking do that.” He was still calmer, but he didn’t think his emotions were anyone’s business other than his. He would allow himself to feel what he had to. He had tried burying things, and he had quickly learned that was not going to help him at all. Nobody should make that decision for him.

Roman looked up, when another person came out. He spoke very strange. Roman might be fluent in English, but he felt like this guy was talking something that wasn’t really English. It took him way too much focus to actually understand what he was saying. ”What did you call me?” What did ‘mucker’ even mean? He looked at his outstretched hand and took it with a firm grip before letting go. ”I don’t understand what the fuck you’re saying.” He scratched his temple. ”You know Kennedy?” He looked over at Victoria with a slight apologetic look in his eyes. He might not be the greatest at muttering the words, but he knew when to be sorry. Now was one of these times. He had every right to be angry, but it was not Victoria’s fault.

Mate. Friend? Maybe. He didn’t know. It might be something else. He felt very confused. He nodded when Victoria clarified. What was he talking about now? Bleeding knees? He looked at Victoria in hopes of getting an explanation, which was exactly what he got. ”Right.” He was not really in a party mood. Besides, him being affected by alcohol would not help him control his anger. He looked at Landon. ”I’ll skip this once. But you guys go ahead.” He found his cigarettes and lit one. He knew it would calm him down, and he would need to be that, if he was going to face Anastasia. He resented the fact, that many people were so much older than him. He could only imagine they would view him as a toddler, and he hated being compared to a child, when he had never really been one. It made sense he sometimes acted out, because he had never had the chance to, when he was younger.

Roman looked after Landon as he went inside. He put his packet towards Victoria so she could take one. He felt the smoke fill his lungs. It made him feel like he could breathe again, funnily enough. He leaned his head back a bit, until he heard Anastasia’s voice. He turned his head back to its normal position and looked at her. He tried to remember Victoria’s words and stay calm. He moved towards the vampire. ”I’m not your blood bag.” He folded his arms across his chest. He didn’t fear her. Maybe because he didn’t know what she would be capable of. He just knew he was not going to be pushed around by anyone. He had no way of knowing how she was going to react, but he was trying to prepare himself. ”Why did you do it?” He wouldn’t know if there was way for vampires to get blood an easier way, but he didn’t feel it was right to do it like this.

Roman felt a bit uneasy. What did she view him as, then? He let out a slight sigh. ”So, now what? Am I supposed to just let you keep doing that?” He didn’t know how to really feel like it. He could consider letting her do it still, but only if he was in his right mind through everything. He didn’t want to be used like she had until now. He let his gaze move over to Victoria for a short bit. ”Ambition has nothing to do with it. I want to be a place where I am respected and appreciated. I thought it would be like that working for you, but I’m just a toy for you, right?” He wasn’t really surprised how well he kept his cool. Victoria wouldn’t have known that, but he was pretty much a master at putting on masks. He might have reacted strongly before, but the moment Anastasia would come, he would put on a mask and act exactly like he wanted to. Then he could crumble later. He stood tall in front of her, knowing very well she had the abilities to kill him. Whether or not she had the capabilities, he was still figuring out.

Roman took in a sharp breath. ”I didn’t have much of a choice.” He stepped closer to her. He needed to put some boundaries down, unless he was going to keep being someone she could treat as she wanted. ”Did you ever think I might agree to it?” He would not be able to understand what it was like needing blood to survive. But he had been in a place, where you had to do things you normally wouldn’t to survive. He took an inhale of the cigarette and blew the smoke away from Anastasia. ”What am I then?” He was not just another employee. Unless she did that to everyone who worked for her. He couldn’t know for sure. ”I don’t care you drank my blood. I care that you messed with my memory.”

Roman didn’t really care much for her reasonings. She shouldn’t have done it. A fire ignited in his eyes. He knew exactly who she meant. ”Don’t you fucking dare,” he spit at her. He was not going to let anyone touch her, especially not while using his hand. ”Then we’re done here.” He turned around and went over to Victoria again. ”Bye.” He was maybe being stupid, treating her like that. But he had to put his foot down to make it known he was not going to be pushed around anymore. He had to find a way to avoid every being used like that again. But it might not be easy. He knew there had to be a way, there just had to. Otherwise he wouldn’t want to stay around here for long. He knew he was at a disadvantage here by multiple reasons. He was a human, which was probably the weakest of all the species and he also didn’t know much about them, which was another disadvantage.

Roman didn’t want to prolong it, so he just let Anastasia leave without another word. There was nothing he could say that would affect her anyway. He knew that, but that didn’t mean he would stop trying. He let out a deep sigh, when Victoria posed a question. ”Frustrated.” He wanted to be something, someone, in this world. He didn’t mean to be a big celebrity or someone who changed the world. He just wanted to change somebody’s world. To make a difference to at least one person. So far, he felt like he was just like an ant crawling around the ground. People might see him or be annoyed by him, but it was not something that would have any lasting impression on anyone. He felt so incredibly small and worthless.

Roman was just about to suggest her going back inside, when the doors were opened. He didn’t pay attention to it, until he heard a very familiar voice, although it had aged a bit since he last heard it. He stood up and now stood face to face with his former neighbor and childhood friend. ”We lived next to each other in Russia,” he explained to Victoria before moving to Nayden. ”So this is were you ran off too. Should have taken me with you.” He gave Nayden’s arm a few pats. ”How are things?” He hadn’t seen him in what seemed forward, so a lot of things could have happened. The last thing he expected, was to meet him here. Did he know about the supernaturals too? He almost had to, if he had lived here for a while. You had to be truly blind to live a life in ignorance for long.