The unrequited love

Love. Such a simple word. A noun when it was because of the feeling. Or a verb if it was an affection for someone. It could mean almost everything, love for friends, love for food, love for a person. And, for Kennedy, she had found that nearly everything ever written about love–to be true. Shakespeare had once said, “Journeys end in lovers meeting”. Such an amazing thing to be able to experience that, which wasn’t something she had ever been remotely close to. But she was more than willing to believe Shakespeare had, that everyone around her had–one way or another. Maybe it was because she thought about love more than anyone really should, amazed by its sheer power to alter and define people's lives, her own included. It was the same man that said, “love is blind”.
Now that was something she knew was true. For some, quite inexplicably–love simple fades. For others–love is simply lost.
But then, of course, love can also be found. Even if just for the night. And then–then there’s another kind of love. The cruellest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that, Kennedy was an expert. Most love stories are about people who fall in love with each other. But what about the rest? What about their stories? Those that fall in love alone. The victims of the one-sided affair. The cursed of the loved ones. The unloved ones–the walking wounded. Hell, the disabled without the advantage of a great parking space.
And why did she think that? Well, she had willingly loved the man working on a car for over three miserable years. Because she had been cursed by being in love with a man who did not and would not love her back.
“Hi!” Kennedy bounced toward Cyrus with a big smile on her lips “what you working on?” she wondered, almost cracking her neck to see what he was doing. Her hands found their way into the pockets of her overalls. Maybe in a way, it was her own fault; it wasn’t like she had ever made her emotions known to him. Lovers had come and gone in her life, but no one really stuck. Because when it came down to it, she would much rather be with him. It had been the fear keeping her away, fear of rejection from the only person she had ever fallen in love with, at least in the way she had with him. Unfair, really, that your mind wouldn’t listen when you told it to stop. Hopefully, one day, especially now that he was seeing someone who looked like it was far more serious than anyone she had ever seen him with.

Outfit Overalls and cap

Cyrus was laying on a roller board under a slightly lifted car, trying to fix a hole that made the tank leak. He had only just found some metal and was measuring it up so he could weld it in a moment. He had the metal pen between his lips while he found the perfect spot for the patch to sit. He had only just gotten the pen out of his mouth and was about to mark the spots on the car when he heard a well-known voice, that sadly surprised him a little, so the metal moved. “Hey,” he replied from under the car, with a small, almost choked groan as he repositioned the metal. He knew very well that he had to speak louder when he was under a car and did so. It was something you learned. He um-ed out loud, processing what he had to say. “A leak,” he replied as soon as he found the words and had marked everything up. He removed the piece and pushed himself out from under the car. His cap was laying next to the front wheel, and from the heat, he had opened his overalls on the top, so it dangled, covering his lower body a bit more, showing his torso. He had multiple black stains, both over his torsi and some on his face. He never really learned not to let his hands touch his face. But sometimes it just itched, and you had to itch! “Are you bored?” he wondered giving her a bright smile, still laying on the roller board with sweat on his forehead. Now, it wasn’t because what he did was that difficult, but it was just a warm job.

She picked up his cap that was lying beside one of the two front wheels. Turning it in her hands, she looked toward where he was lying underneath the car, fixing a leak.
But what happened next, as he pushed himself away from the car and looked at her with that beautiful smile of his, she could physically have melted into a puddle right there and then—why was it the heart always picked the people that were unavailable to you? Maybe it was because she was so afraid to get hurt, so she had chosen someone she understood and knew would never pick her. Deciding to live in misery as it were.
“Just a little on edge, taking one of the new recruits with me to hijack a car this evening, and now I’m just in that waiting position”, she explained, giving him a soft smile, and then she was struck with not really knowing what to say or do. “You’re absolutely covered in oil” she laughed and shook her head, knowing that only a good bath would take care of that—and then the words left her that she had so wished she could have kept to herself “I just heard you were here, never seeing you around the evenings anymore, things going good with your girl?” she could mentally slap herself, but managed to just look at him with a gently smile, still holding his cap in her hands.

For a moment, he believed she had seen a ghost, not that it was a long time that there was no answer. Maybe it was just the oil? He after all knew that he was dirty. He raised his brows a little wondering as she explained something to one of the new recruits. He nodded a little as she mentioned it. “Please don’t ruin it on your way here,” he laughed a little, even though he knew that when things got a little too heated, a car could get some scratches. It wasn’t something he couldn’t fix. His laugh was as always generous and caring.
Suddenly she told him about the oil which made him laugh. It had been the oil that had made her stop and stare for a moment. “Where?” he wondered and placed a finger on his cheek, “Here? Here?” he continued to poke and smear oil around because he knew that he was extremely covered. Good thing was that they had some good tissues that could… Take the worst at least. He sat up, mostly using the torso before he pulled himself by grabbing his knee. He grabbed an old somewhat dirty handkerchief and tried to dry off most of the dirt. It helped a little. He only really stopped and looked up from the handkerchief when she asked him about Delphine. “Uh, yeah,” he replied with a short laugh before he placed his hands on his knees and managed to get up on his feet again with a small grunt. He had already noticed how he had dried his fingers off in his torso and dried it a bit. “I don’t really want her here, ya know,” he said and looked up at her, “So I go to her place,” he explained with a small shrug. “We hit a sore spot not that long ago, you know when I was at the hospital and all that.” He didn’t really want to share Delphine’s story. It was her story to tell, not that he believed Kennedy was ever going to receive that story.

“Yeah, good on you, I can fix cars, you know; which one of us has their own garage, hm?” she lifted her brow before starting to laugh as he tried to fix where the oil; “oh, for the love of God, just stop, you’re making it far worse” she shook her head a little, letting out a soft sigh, crossing her arms when he started to look for something to clean himself.
“Yeah, I get that”, she whispered, feeling the winch in her heart; she hadn’t heard about the accident before he had already skipped out of the hospital; what a bloody idiot she had been standing there asking for his name, only to be shown the room he should have been—yeah, that had been a great day. Why was she even here? Why did she keep doing this to herself? Blinking a little, she noticed the gloss over her eyes, knowing that she couldn’t keep face.
But if there was something that Kennedy was brilliant at, it was keeping a smile on her lips, even though her stomach was twitching painfully, even when she woke up alone in her bed bathed in sweat because she believed she was back in the arena—suffering in silence, never letting anyone know what she had been through, too afraid that if she told anyone, it would just become real.
“I’m just happy that you seem a lot happier after you found her”, she added, walking over and handing him his cap “so, that was what I wanted, just to say Hi, don’t be a stranger, okay?” she said, letting her hand find his wrist for a moment, savouring the small moment she could feel his skin against hers. But he deserved happiness. Loving someone meant that you always wished the best for them, right? Even if that didn't necessarily mean that they were together with you. “better make sure that my baby is ready for tonight, see you” turning around she walked toward the door leading into the bar, wanting to take a beer on her way home.

Cyrus rolled his eyes as she spoke about how she had her own garage. He honestly felt like the headquarters garage was his own garage. Money had after all been quite wobbly for him and having the money to make or simply have a garage was something he couldn’t afford. He mostly worked to get food on the table and create some kind of savings. Even though Delphine had more than enough money, he had that nagging feeling of wanting to pay for things too, food, drinks, entrance, anything. He laughed as she told him to stop, and simply tried to dry his face a bit.
He pressed his lips together, thinking that it might not be the most pleasant memory to think about how he actually had died for a moment. He was still quite affected by his mother’s death and often had to tell himself that those impulses he felt while driving wasn’t going to make it better. He didn’t even care that she hadn’t been present. She was his mother.
He didn’t quite notice how her eyes got wet, because he was honestly caught up with his own thoughts about the things that were bothering him lately. It was first when she handed him his cap, that he blinked and took it, putting it on, “Thanks,” he spoke softly. He pulled a curious, and slightly confused, smile as she explained that it had been all she wished to do. A greeting. He let her hold his wrist, sending her a kind smile. Now he noticed the slight difference in her eyes. She started to head out. “Hey, Ken’!” he called for her, “You can just text me. I’m not any further away,” he said with a slightly joyous voice. “We can go to the centrum tomorrow if you want?” he offered, pulling a soft smile.

“Hm?” she quickly managed to dry off her tears and turned, giving him a bright smile, hiding away the tumult of pain forming in her chest, making it near impossible for her to breathe.
“Yeah, you too,” she agreed; he could always text her, always, which might be the tragical of it all. How she would be willing to do everything for him, no questions asked, and she would be there for him expecting nothing in return. It was slowly drowning her. Maybe one day, she would be strong enough to tell him what she felt, but not as long as he was together with someone else—even though it might end up being Delphine and Cyrus for the rest of their days.
Her eyes widened when he asked if she wanted to go to centrum tomorrow; Kennedy shifted her position and placed her shoulder against the doorway, crossing her arms. She looked at him with an intrigued look on her face; “and just walk around, or do you have anything in mind?” she wondered with a bigger smile; she would love to spend some time with him.

He gave her a smile when she told him, that he too could text her. Even though he knew he could, it was still comforting to be reminded of it. He gave her a short nod of affirmation.
His smile widened as he watched how she leaned against the doorframe. “Walk around, do whatever we please to?” he suggested. “Like, we can go to a café or look at architecture if you’d rather do that,” Even though Southside was a mess, it still had some pretty buildings, graffiti art, and much more. Even a local could go sightseeing. There were plenty of things they could do, but when it was just them, he didn’t mind not having a plan. They could easily get occupied with something. He leaned back against the car he was fixing, crossing his arms over his bare chest, “I mean, you don’t have to if you’d rather do something else,” he told her and let his head tip a bit to the side.

“Steal a couple of cars, jump off a roof” she made a gesture with her hands almost like she was making a rainbow “the possibilities are endless” she laughed, then nodded—she would actually like that very much, she couldn’t remember when she had last been together with Cyrus when it just had been the two of them, there were so many things she wanted to talk with him about, mostly to hear how he was doing—because even though she knew that he hadn’t been close to his mother, it was still hard to get over the fact, that she had been killed—and just anywhere, but right here.
“What, no, I would love to” she pushed away from the frame and bounced toward him, letting her arm fold around his neck and giving him a short kiss against his cheek. “Absolutely filthy”, she laughed, allowing her thumb to glide over where there was a smudge. Not that she made it any better.
“Okay, tomorrow around noon, meet you here?” she asked as she walked away, looking over her shoulder just to make sure that they were in an agreement.

She mentioned other things that might be much more Serpent-like than the things he had listed. Was he getting ‘boring’? Why hadn’t he suggested those things himself? “Endless opportunities,” he said, making the same hands, laughing with her. Even though she was taking the new recruit out to hijack a car today, they could really use some more vehicles.
“Cool,” he replied glad that she actually had the time because after all, he had been busy. As she moved over to give him a short peck against his cheek his hands naturally found her hips to support her, even though the height difference wasn’t making it necessary.  He laughed when she told him that he was filthy. He let her walk away and gave her a salute as she asked if they were going to meet around noon. “See you here,” he said with a smile. He would then turn to sit down on the roller board so he could continue his work. He didn’t want to take a bath before he was done with this hole.

The next day he stood and waited for Kennedy to show up, believing she was late. So, he simply stayed and tried to organize thing in the garage and repair simple things, until he at some point made up his mind, that she wasn’t coming.

//out