If this is love then i don't want it - Wayo

He woke up the next morning his eyes red and dry, he didn’t know what he should do, for once in his life he tried to be the good guy, stopped himself from taking things with Wayo any further, but only ended up making things worse…how many times could he push Wayo away before he gave up on Pana…Pana got up and got dressed and walked over to his grandad…maybe he could help him. Pana sat down in the booth sighing waiting for Dao to come over, whats the matter boy you look like you didn’t get any sleep last night Pana felt tears form in his eyes i…I did something bad…I hurt Wayo…I keep hurting him he whimpered hugging himself oh Pana…you have to stop thinking about your dad and what happened…be happy…and I know that boy will make you happy if you just let yourself…please son…get up find him…and try not to fuck it up…I like him the old man said lovingly giving Pana a kiss on top of his head, Pana smiled leaning into the touch it’s really okay that im in love with a boy? he asked wanting to be sure that what he was doing was okay and not a bad thing more than okay…now go Pana nodded and got up running out the restaurant.

Pana ran as fast as he could, wanting to get back to the school before class started so he could talk to Wayo, he ran over to Emilio’s room knowing that was where Wayo went whenever Pana acted like a dick, he got up the staircases panting, he took a deep breath he was just about to knock on the door when he found it open. He steeped in freezing on the spot feeling like his whole world collapsed around him, he had been jealous of Emilio and Wayo’s friendship from the start, not like how close they were and how much the touched one and other…but none of that really prepared him for what he saw in front of him…Wayo and Emilio in bed…bear chested…the sheet covering there lower bodies…I hate you he muttered in a broken voice, before storming out the door.

Outfit


Wayo had of course gone over to Emilio after what happened between him and Pana. Telling everything to Emilio. Wayo knew that this time Pana hadn't really pushed him away, but it hurt anyway. Him stopping, telling him he couldn't do it. It was the last straw and Wayo couldn't do it anymore. He had done nothing but cry to Emilio, he could imagine the poor guy was beginning to be tired of hearing Wayo cry and come running to Emilio every time. But honestly... Emilio was the only one Wayo really felt he could tell everything to and be vulnerable with.
He was cuddled into Emilio's side with his arm draped over him. Everyone looking at it would misunderstand, but that was just what usually happened when Wayo stayed over. Wayo only saw it as somewhere he felt safe when he was having a hard time.

He was up in a matter of seconds when he heard Pana's voice. He looked in wonder at the older standing in the doorway, having muttered that he hated him. His heart broke at that point, but he knew he had to fix it.
He got out of the bed saying sorry to Emilio for waking him up, as he got in his clothes.
He hates me Em... He said he hated me he said with a shaky voice.
Without thinking it through, he was out of the door running after Pana, not really knowing where he ran to. He just had to catch up to him. But there was no point, he didn't know where Pana ran to.
Maybe he should just stay in the room and wait for him?

Pana did what he always did when he felt like this when all he really wanted to do was punch and kick and scream to his heart content, he started at some bar in Gaia getting into a fight with some idiots and moving onto the next and next, at some point it had gotten dark, he licked his bloody lip looking at the overhanging clock in the bar, 21 o'clock...huh i have been doing this since 9 in the morning...12 hours...huh...must be a new record. He saw some vampires come in smirking to himself taking his last shot and walking over to them, hey boy's and here i thought i would have to wait all night before you showed up...so ready for round two or should i just ask your girlfriend he said with a huge smirk. The first blow knocked Pana to the ground, How could Wayo do this to him? Pana's face burned. An animal snarl clawed its way up his throat. im going to enjoy this. He lunged, swinging and missing. He slammed one of the vampires into the wall. Then he was burying punches, over and over again, screaming and full of rage. He didn't really know what was going on, but it felt good hearing bone break and see the blood fly around the room. He lost sight of the leader for one second, the next second he let out a blood hurling scream when he felt teeth dig into his throat.

He woke up an hour later at the hospital his grandad, brother, Kit and Beam all sitting there, Pana looked at his grandad sighing im okay...you can all just go he said not wanting to look at them don't you dare start! you did you think you were doing i thought you stopped doing all this! you could have died! if Beam hadn't stopped the fight and gotten you here you would be dead! he shouted looking at Pana in anger and worry why? you can't leave me i need you! how could you be this stupid! Pana sighed pulling his knees to his chest none of you need me and If this is love then i don't want it! it sucks! i don't want it! or him! he yelled as he slowly started to cry, he just wanted it all to stop. He didn't see Kit leave the room or hear him on the other side of the door as he called Wayo. Wayo it's Kit...listen i don't know what happened between you two but...Pana is in the hospital...and he's in bad shape...please come down here and talk to him...i know he doesn't deserve it...but please Kit said pleadingly into the phone before going back into the room.

He waited for hours and hours, beginning to worry more than ever before. He never used to be a way for this long. It made Wayo's heart clench. What if he did something stupid? Well... he most likely did, he did look unhappy after all when he ran away. Wayo was just sitting in their room, trying to calm down with something, but he couldn't even take a freaking nap as he used to, he was too worried! What if something had happened to Pana?
He sprung up as his phone sounded. At that point he saw how dark it had gotten outside, making him whimper with worry. He saw the caller ID, making his breath hitch. It was Kit... He quickly answered, putting the phone to the ear. P'Kit! Where is he? he said worriedly. He went silent as Kit started to explain. Pana was in the hospital? Oh god! This was his fault! This wouldn't have happened if he hadn't gone over to Emilio!
I'm coming as fast as I can he said before he hung up and ran out of the room, almost forgetting to take shoes on.

He wished he could just transform into one of his animals, it would go faster, but he didn't have any spare clothes with him. He took a taxi, he didn't have any car, mostly because he didn't need it anyway, although now he did.
When he got to the hospital he ran inside, trying to find out where Pana could possibly be.
I'm looking for Pana! he said hurriedly to a woman in the information box. His surname Wayo stopped up for a bit, trying to remember the surname. It was such a stupid time to forget it.
Th... Thanit! he said with a sigh of relief.
He got the room number and ran through the hospital until he saw Kit. At this point tears of worry and panic was streaming down his face. He came to a halt, standing in front of Kit. What happened? Is he okay? he asked, trying to look for any kind of expression on Kit's face, that could tell him something.

Kit stood outside the room on the phone with Wayo trying to calm the other boy down, after he was done talking he went back into the room sighing when he saw Pana, he looked bad...pale from blood loss... broken ribs, nose, jaw...he was covered in cuts and bruises, he walked over to Dao Wayo is on his way he whispered into the old mans ear. The two of them left leaving Pana. Pana gave them a weird look as they left, looking at Ano with a raised eyebrow what's going on Ano? what are you all up to? Pana looked at his brother skeptical helping you. Kit and Dao looked at Wayo hugging him when they saw him with tears of worry and panic was streaming down his face. The two men took a step back Pana got into a fight...a lot of them...and he lost...some vampires the old man said in a shaky voice not being able to finish, what happened? i have seen him mad before...but never so much that he would put his life in danger...didn't you say you talked to him? i thought he was going to tell Wayo that Kit stopped himself sighing and gesturing for Wayo to follow them inside.

Pana looked up shocked when he saw Wayo walk in with Dao and Kit...how! why was he here! he couldn't be here! he couldn't see how much he hurt Pana! he couldn't see how much it killed him to see him in bed with Emilio! fuck him! he felt like he was consumed by hurt and anger....and rage so much rage...whoever said love was the best feeling in the world must be an idiot...because right now Pana had never hated a feeling more. He set Wayo a venomous glare leave i don't want you here! go back to your stupid boyfriend and leave me alone! he yelled, i mean it Wayo fuck off! i don't want to hurt you but if you don't fuck off i will! and how fucking dare you bring him here! he looked at Kit feeling so betrayed, how could he! because you love him! and he should hear it! Kit yelled back getting mad at Pana for being sostupid! so what if i do! i hate it! and i hate him! i don't want to love him because he doesn't love me! so get him out of here! and call the school....i want a new roommate he said not looking at Wayo just wanting him to leave, Dao sighed come on Wayo...lets let him calm down

He looked at Dao and Kit, Dao was completely out of it, he hadn't seen the grandpa like that. Naturally, it made Wayo freak out more, understanding that this was much more serious than he had anticipated.
Fights? Vampires? That could only end badly. He hung his head low as Kit asked what had happened. It was Wayo's fault, he felt so bad. It's my fault, he saw me in bed with Emilio and he misunderstood. he said sadly looking up at Kit. He was so stupid if he had just stayed with Pana none of this would have happened.

As he walked into the room it seemed like all air was knocked out of him, making him tumble a bit. Pana looked like hell, beaten up and he looked so tired. Wayo wanted to run over to him, but Pana's words made him stop in his tracks, whimpering at the venomous glare that was directed at him. He had never seen that look before, never directed at him, it was always those soft eyes...
He really thought Emilio was his boyfriend? After Pana and Wayo had kissed so many times. He shook his head desperately, wanting to say something, but he couldn't. Pana was so mad and Wayo didn't know how to cut in.
He choked out as Pana said he would hurt him if he didn't leave. Pana never hurt Wayo, he wouldn't ever hurt him, he said that himself, but now? He was threatening him.
He looked up at Kit with a surprised look, as he said that Pana loved Wayo. But... After all those time, them kissing and Pana leaving to fuck some random girl... why? That hadn't been love.
No, Pana he was cut short by Dao, saying they should give him some space and time to cool off. Maybe it was a good idea, Pana was clearly consumed by rage and Wayo was scared that something might happen. He wasn't so sure about Pana not hurting him ever, anymore. All the rage could cloud his mind and make him do stupid things, make him say stupid things, så Wayo didn't want to take the chance.
As he got out he broke down, Pana didn't want to see him anymore, it was done, wasn't it? Maybe if he hadn't beaten around the bush, they would be together? If Wayo had just told him what was going on?
He couldn't stay at the hospital, he would just end up with going in the room trying to comfort Pana in any way, probably making Pana insane in the process.
I'm going to go home, I can't be here without wanting to go in the room to him he said sadly as he said goodbye to Doa with a wai and went home to the room that seemed more empty than ever.

Dao looked at Wayo sighing so that’s why he is so mad…always has been a very possessive of people he cares for…it’s okay…hopefully he will understand he said giving Wayo a small hug hoping to calm the other boy down, he knew bringing Wayo in here was a risk. Pana might not reach kindly to Wayo, not if it hurt so much he would do this to himself. As they walked in Pana exploded and the small whimper Wayo emitted almost made Pana stop and think about what he was saying but he was just so mad and hurt! How could Wayo sleep with his best friend! He looked at Wayo and Kit hatefully, how could Wayo just stand there looking hurt! He wasn’t the one that just got his heart broken!

Pana could only sneer at everyone in the room, shut up! It doesn’t matter! Okay! He doesn’t love me! So why should my feelings matter after what he did! Now leave me alone! I don’t want to see you anymore! Ever! he shouted looking so broken when Dao walked out the room with Wayo, Pana let out a choked off sob hiding his face not wanting Wayo to see how hurt he really was.

Dao looked at Wayo as he broke down outside the room, he warped his arms around the boy shh it’s okay let me talk to him…Wayo…please just let him calm down…please don’t let him push you away…he really does love you…he is just very very scared…he has pushed this part of himself down for 9 soon 10 years…give him time to see that loving a wonderful boy like you doesn’t make him a disappointment…that being unhappy is what his father wanted, okay? Now go…let me talk to him…now get some sleep my boy he said gently as he saw Wayo leave.


He walked back inside looking at Pana sighing this won’t fix anything Pana pushing him away won’t make your dad love you anymore he said softly kissing the boy’s forehead I know grandad…but im not good for him…he deserves someone who can make him happy…who can kiss him in public, hold his and without fear…that’s not me…and he doesn’t love me…so just drop it…some people just don’t find happiness…now please let me sleep he said as tears ran down his face

//OUT <3