Is it to late for apologies

Thomas kept a kind smile to her when she said that she was willing to do whatever it took. “Hold on to that,” he told her, knowing already that it was going to be a tough road for her and the kids. One thing was that he could see the point of everything, but it wasn’t certain that the kids could, and Priscilla might not be ready for that, so he simply hoped that she would indeed hold on to that thought. “It pleases me to hear that,” he told her and gave her shoulder a small squeeze before he let her go. “Yeah, that might be a good idea,” he exhaled and found his phone and handed it to her so she could dial her number in the already existing contact.

Priscilla took the phone and put in her new phone number, making it easier to get to her. “There you go”, she whispered, handing it back to him. Then with a small sigh, she looked towards the unfinished tea and then down at the socks she hadn’t even been able to put on yet. But something told her that it might be a good time to get home, mostly so they could take it slow as they had agreed. “Just text me tomorrow when you know something more,” she said before walking towards the door to put her clothes back on.


Once again, she was by his house. She had wondered for a moment if she should have bought the kids a present. But she didn’t want to overdo it. Instead, she had gone to the store and bought the things she remembered that Claire enjoyed.
Then she had with her a couple of things that she had saved over the years, pictures that Claire had drawn for her. She let out a soft breath, as she stood by the door and for the second time, she felt dread form in her chest before she lifted her hand and knocked on it. Stepping away holding her hand against the strap of the shoulder bag she was wearing. She pressed a hand against her forehead to shield herself from the sun that was shining today. Waiting for her life to start again.

It had been a long day already for Thomas, who had been up early to make the kids breakfast and make sure everyone had been dressed and everyone was in the rightful place at the rightful time. Things had mostly gotten difficult when he had picked both kids up when their day had ended. He had sat with both of them, trying to play the idea in, but eventually, Claire had had enough of the game and asked the question.
Is mommy visiting?
It was like a punch in the gut, and he tried to slow down the tantrum he could feel coming. His dear son on the other hand seemed excited about the company. He managed to get Claire in his arms and first afterward he texted Priscilla. He was certain that he could get her down by the time she arrived.

It knocked on the door and Thomas still carried the soon five-year-old darling on his hip. “I’m going to open up for mommy now… Do you want to stay here in my arms, or do you want to get down?” he wondered, only to receive a turned head, that hid in his dark blue t-shirt. He took that as a stay in the arms and walked over to the door to open it. “Hi,” he greeted her with a soft smile. Claire shortly seemed to be curious whether or not it actually was who she believed it was, but as soon as she had gotten a look on the guest, she hid away again. He folded his lips a little before he mouthed the word tantrum. “Come in,” he said and pulled away from the door so she could enter, seeing the boy in the kitchen laughing excitedly.

For a moment, she didn’t have any words as she saw her daughter's big curly brown hair, doing the perfect job at hiding away her face. Then she finally managed to get her tongue working, and a smile spread over her lips. “Hi”, she said in a warmer voice than she had used for such a long time, feeling love spread in her chest just by being close to her children. Not even caring if they were going to welcome her home with open arms or not, it wasn’t what mattered; no, it mattered that she was the adult, and she was the one that needed to show she was here to stay. Whether they liked it or not.
She nodded, not wanting to push it. “Thank you”, she bowed, falling into the mother role so fast that she didn’t even realise it. She took off her shoes and then let her bag fall to the ground just before pulling out the green grapes. “I didn’t know if you still love them, but I bought some with me,” she said, forcing her daughter to take a look again, and even though it was clear she made a show of not showing, it clearly was still something she loved. She nodded with a small triumphal smile and then placed it on the kitchen counter as she saw her son's happy smile. “Oh, is that mama’s big boy?” she said in a high pitched voice, making him laugh even louder. “Well, I guess it is!” she walked over and quickly got him out of his chair and pulled him into a hug. A hug where she had to look upward so as not to cry of the joy that was almost overwhelming her of finally having him back in her arms. So much that she wasn’t sure if she could ever let him go again.

Thomas watched how she entered the house. The moment she started to take off her shoes, it felt like how it had been almost two years ago. He had missed her, and it pulled in his heart in a way he hadn’t thought he would feel a pull. He shortly looked from mother to daughter as she presented the grapes, laughing a little when Claire didn’t really want to accept the gift, though she appreciated it. When Priscilla went toward the kitchen, he followed, trying to get better contact with his daughter.
Oh, is that mama’s big boy?
It was like putting a lighter under a sprinkler because a few tears immediately streamed from Thomas’s eyes as he heard her and how happy Benjamin got. He went and put Claire on top of the counter, not being able to leave since she still held onto him. Now that his hands were free, he dried his cheeks and let one arm hold a little around their daughter. While he dried his cheeks, he could see how Priscilla was looking up so tears wouldn’t fall from her cheeks. It made him smile widely. He then faced Claire, “You want a grape?” he spoke softly, but she made a show, crossing her arms and shaking her whole torso and head. “Okay, but I’ll just clean them, so they are ready to eat, okay?” he said, noticing how she had pushed her bottom lip forward in a pout. “So, I’ll carry you down to the floor, okay?” he said waiting a little moment before he carried her down to the floor so she could stand there with her crossed arms. He then turned away to pick up the grapes and walked over to the sink to wash them. “You good?” he said looking towards Priscilla with a kind smile, enjoying how she took her time with Benjamin.

For a moment, she forgot that she had ever been away. Standing there with those tiny arms around her neck and his face pushed inside her hair. Even though he pulled at it now, which was rather painful, she didn’t mind it; she didn’t mind any of it. She turned as he asked if she was good; she nodded, and even though a smile formed over her lips, it was clear to see how she was struggling from the tears trying to escape her eyes. Then she looked down at their oldest, that decided she was going over and hug her father's leg and bury her head in his thigh. A soft smile formed over her lips, and she didn’t really take it to heart; if anything, she was just happy that she hadn’t run off and not wanted to come out of her room. This she could work with.
For a moment, she stood there, and even though Benjamin chatted happily away without making much sense, she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to put him down now that she had him in her arms again. “I’m better than good”, she whispered, turning her head and placing a soft kiss against her son’s temple, closing her eyes as he started to press his lips together and pressed out air. A laugh left her as she had to remove some of the spit on her cheek. “Thank you for that,” she said and shook her head, lifting him again and placing him against her hip before she walked over to the sink; on her way there, she placed a soft hand against her daughter's head, and as if everything had been set on pause the daughter turned, and her leg was now the one that was hugged. “Don’t leave again, mom” her eyes quickly looked towards Thomas, and for a moment, she had no idea what to say or do other than squad down slowly and let her daughter place her arms around her neck as well. And as if they were weighing nothing, she lifted both kids up and stood there with them both hugging her as if she would disappear if she let go.

He could see how she was struggling with keeping the happy tears at bay, and it made him happy to see.  Thomas looked down as his leg as their daughter hugged it. He chuckled a little of her. “I’m glad,” he replied as she replied how she felt. While he washed the grapes, he could watch how she was so quick to fall into the role she had had before. She walked over to the sink, and he was quickly made aware of how Claire moved from one leg to Priscilla. He noticed how Priscilla looked at him and his eyes found hers. He was biting his lip to keep his own emotions at bay. Even though he loved this moment, he would never want to experience it again.
As Priscilla squatted down, Thomas blinked a couple of times and let his eyes find the grapes again, shutting off the water. A single tear left him as he moved over to grab a plate. Now normally one would just put the cluster of grapes in a bowl, but Thomas picked every and each of them off, once letting the back of his hand dry his cheek and take a smaller and sharp breath in.

With the bowl of loose grapes, he walked over to Priscilla. “Shall we sit down, hm?” he wondered almost humming. “The grapes are ready,” he whispered, which made his daughter look at him with a sad smile. She had missed her mom. A whole lot. He remembered so clearly all the times where she had needed comfort, and she would do anything to get it.

“What do you say, should we go to the couch?” she whispered, and both kids nodded; she turned shortly to look at Thomas before she walked to the living room, where she ended up sitting with both the kids still hugging her like a pair of monkeys, not wanting to let go. “It’s going to be rather hard to eat grapes while you’re hugging me like that; want to let go?” she felt how their hair was shaken against her neck. With a chuckle and then let out a sigh, she turned her gaze to her husba- the thought had almost fully developed in her mind before she managed to stop it from progressing. Licking her lips, she let out a small sigh. “I think we might be sitting here a while”, she whispered, not that she minded, but it hadn’t really been what she had imagined the afternoon unfolding.

Thomas watched how she carried both of the kids on her hips into the living room. He followed with slow steps, looking at how she handled their kids. He put the grapes down, holding a small knife in the other, to cut the grapes for his kids so he would be certain they didn’t swallow them whole. “That’s okay,” he said with a soft voice, sitting down next to her but with his front towards the grapes. He started to cut some of the grapes, giving halves or quarters to the kids. “Tell me if you’re getting cold, okay?” he said, firstly looking at Claire, Benjamin, and lastly Priscilla. He didn’t want any of them to get cold.

“What, me, getting cold?” she said with a smirk. “I’m Elsa the Ice Queen, remember?” she hummed, letting her fingers put some of Claire’s hair behind her ear. “Elsa!” the small girl exclaimed, and Priscilla couldn’t help but laugh to think that the Disney movie was still such a success in the house; how many years was it now since it had come out?
“Oh, mommy, make Olauf!” she exclaimed as she clapped her hands and finally let go to crawl down on the floor and walk over to her father to get some of the grapes he was cutting for her. Priscilla couldn’t hold back a laugh, then looked at Benjamin, that still wasn’t letting go, but that was okay; he was far smaller than Claire so she could move around better. Her fingertips started getting frosty “blow”, she told Claire as she reached her fingers over to her daughter; the daughter quickly blew on them, and like magic, snowflakes danced in the air before she formed an Olaf looking snowman on the floor. Their daughter squealed in delight as she danced over and then blinked “he needs a carrot, dad!” she huffed, looking over at her father, those big brown eyes; Priscilla wouldn’t be surprised if she got everything she wanted, just by looking at people.

She was Elsa. A smile spread on his lips as he saw how happy their girl got by the mention. It was indeed still a favorite, even though the movie was about, ten years old now? Make Olaf! It made Thomas’s eyes widen, not the biggest fan of having a snowman indoors. His eyes left the grapes, to look at his daughter who walked over to him to get some of the grapes he had cut for her. Joy filled him as he watched how she munched on the first quarter of a grape. Suddenly her daughter turned to blow at her mother’s fingers, and he watched how the snow started to flow around in the room until they made a snowlike figure. Thomas licked his lips as she squealed, already knowing that his daughter wanted a carrot for the nose. “I’m on it, cupcake,” he said before he got up from his seat, taking the knife with him so no accidents were going to happen. He believed it was more than enough to look after two kids, a knife in the mix wouldn’t make it easier. “And I think he prefers if you call the carrot for his nose,” he teased, twisting his body, so he could look over his shoulder with a goofy smile, pointing at his nose.
He found a carrot in the fridge and cut some of it so it would get into the snow easier. He walked back and handed her daughter the carrot so she could place it. “I’ll fetch some arms for him, and if I’m lucky I can find him some eyes or buttons, hm?” he wondered, clapping his hands together before he rubbed them together for a moment “I’ll be back soon enough,” he said before he nodded and started to find small tools that would help with the hunt for arms, eyes and buttons.

Priscilla watched how their daughter ran after Thomas and a smile was glued to her lips, even though Benjamin snuggled closer, which made her attention on the others disappear. With a small tug, she placed herself a little better on the couch so she could lie down. It didn’t take long before the small boy fell asleep in her arms, and if she was being honest she herself could feel how her eyelids grew heavy, especially since everything else than had been happening lately, it wasn’t exactly sleep that had been her priority, and with the soft breath of her son that was lying on her chest, she found herself completely relaxed and feeling the comfort and safeness of feeling at home again, made her eyes close and just like Benjamin she fell asleep while the two others tried to find a suitable attire of the snowman that was standing beside the two sleeping people.