Help me father, have I sinned?

Date | 2nd of December 2021
Time | After 11pm
Weather | it’s storming and snowing
Surroundings | No one really, luckily
Attire | Clearly not enough clothes. A thin winter jacket in a rusted beige color, very worn jeans and shoes that are clearly holding on to dear life.


She had nowhere to go, all alone. Again. She couldn’t find Joel, even though she had looked all over the place. And her dream of starting the academy had truly shattered today as she had come home to a notice on her front door saying that she had been evicted. Her things had been bundled up and thrown outside the door, a lot of it already missing. She had no idea how long she had just been sitting there, listing to the voice mumbling in her ear, they were never quiet. Never truly done with speaking to her, showing themselves hissing, screaming, begging.

At some point she had gotten up, drying off the tears and gotten the things she needed it the most. And what she could carry. Leaving almost a whole year’s life behind as she walked down the stairs into a snowstorm that was almost worthy of Canada. She wanted nothing more to scream, but also knew if she broke apart now. There would be nothing left to pick up from the curb. So, she went in a direction. One of the voices told her to, and what did she have to lose at this point?

She had no idea how long she had walked, other than her feet were numb and her body so cold that she could feel it in her bones. Then she came upon a church, it looked so unholy so abandoned, that it might be her shelter for the night. She slowly walked up the stairs, as she saw a light. And she started calling. For help because it was all she could do at this point. Beg for help, because at some point, someone had to hear her, and come to her rescue? Right? What was it his name had really been? “Uriel” she whispered, as her hand found the uneven surface of the wooden door trying to push it open.

Candled had been lit up. He had only spent a day in this church, and it had been a long one. It wasn’t just that easy to clean this place up and he was far from done getting the spirits and ghouls away. But for now, he was securing the main floor for the night. In his left hand he carried a lantern – yes, very old school. He heard someone calling from the outside, which made him frown a little. What he knew of, no one wanted to go enter the church at all.
It was a call for help. The sounds were clearer as he reached the narthex. She heard someone call for the archangel Uriel right outside the door, which made him quickly put his lantern down onto the nearest shelf and hurry to the door, unlocking it. The door almost flew open with the wind and the push from the girl, and Valdemar was sure, that if he hadn’t been standing right where he was, the girl would’ve fallen onto the stone floor. Since the place wasn’t really safe, his arm quickly reached around the girl, looked up for others who sought shelter, before he pulled her in and closed the door behind them. “You’re frozen to the bone,” he mumbled. “Take this,” he offered before he shortly let go of her and pulled of his winter jacket. He noticed how snow had packed itself on top of her, “Sorry. I’ll dust of the snow,” he mumbled before he quickly dusted of the snow so she wouldn’t end up getting soaked when it melted. He swung his jacket around her and made sure it laid securely around her shoulders. He could even see snow that had patched onto her hair. “Now, what can I do for you?” he wondered, keeping an ear on any spiritual changes or rumbling from the corridors.

At first, she thought it had just been her own strength and the heavy push from the wind that had made the door finally open. It was only when a pair of strong arms grabbed her and made sure that she didn’t faceplant straight into the hard and cold stone floor. A small gasp left her, as she was up on her feet again. Her eyes finally found her saviour and gave him a thankful smile. “Yeah well” she mumbled, putting her bag that had been over her shoulder down on the floor and started shaking some of the snow away. “It’s really stormy outside” that was when she realized that something about him, made the voices die down. Not completely like when she was with Joel, but she could hear herself think and breathe without screams and calls and small whispers. “Thank you” she mumbled again, as he put his jacket around her and even though she wanted to be less selfish and say that he should keep it for herself. But she was so cold. What could he do for her? She looked inside and saw just how horrible the state of the church was. “I was, hoping that I could stay here for the night” she answered, looking back at him. “I don’t really have anywhere else to go, and the voices –“ she bit down her lip as she knew how it would sound. The voices, making her sound and look like a crazy person. “Well, something brought me here, I had almost hoped that he would be here as well” it had been a long shot saying his name out loud, but one could always have hope, right? "Not that I'm not happy to see you, to see any one really, so, can I stay, maybe?" she turned her dark eyes towards him, inhaling and holding her breath while she waited for his respons.

Valdemar had his brows knitted a little suspicious of this young girl wanting to stay the night in the church. It wasn’t really the place for someone who didn’t know what could come after oneself. Not that he judged a book by it’s cover, but by how frozen she was, he doubted that she would be ready to fight for her own safety. She didn’t have anywhere else to go. Tragic, truly. And just for a second, he wondered if she had been trying other churches or maybe even camping lots, friends, or family?
The voices. He caught onto that, but who wouldn’t? She corrected herself and explained that something brought her here. It made more sense to why she would be at this place. She mentioned a male figure that she hoped would be in the church. Was she speaking of the archangel Uriel? His father? God, what was his father up to now? “Of course, you can stay,” he assured her, “But you should know this isn’t a place for anyone. But I will do what I can to make your stay as comfortable as possible,” he assured her. No, Valdemar hadn’t really thought about sleeping here. He had a mirror upstairs where he could portal himself to a hotel bathroom – but he couldn’t leave the poor girl alone, and what would people think if she laid next to him looking at least thirty-five years younger than himself? Of course, the modern world didn’t care about age. He looked from one corridor to another before his gaze ended up at her again. “Let us go upstairs, it’s warmer up there,” he offered gesturing her towards the big doors which lead into the nave. There was less broken windows and there was a fireplace which he had lit up upstairs. He led her closer to the altar and the sanctuary. Valdemar himself could feel the spiritual energy in the room. “You mentioned Uriel, just before you stepped inside,” he took a shorter breath in thinking about his words, “Has he shown himself to you, since you hoped he would be here, or do you seek his wisdom?” he wondered. If he got to the sanctuary, he would guide her towards a hidden door which would lead upstairs. There was also stairs to the lower chambers, but these were barricaded both with ruins and wood. Something simply told Valdemar that down in that chamber would be hiding something monstrous or maybe a whole nest of the ghouls.

”Well, at this point I wouldn’t be surprised if I got eaten while sleeping, so” she shrugged, not really caring at this point. She wouldn’t even say that things were so bad that it couldn’t get any worse. Things could always get worse, at least that was something she had learned by now. And still, despite it all, a smile was on her lips as she looked at him. Especially since he promised he would make her stay as comfortable as possible. It was something to promise, not one she would take for granted. She nodded and picked up her bag feeling rather warm in the jacket that he had been so kind to give her.

Curious she looked around, taking the surroundings in, as she stepped up the stairs. Now one thing was that she was here. But why was he here? He looked like a rather decent man. Now looks could fool a person. But there was the aura, that made her believe that evil was the last thing this person was. Then he asked about Uriel, she licked her lips, and could feel how her brows pressed together. Has he shown herself to you? She didn’t know how to answer that. Because in a sense he had. “We, have met, a couple of times” she said, knowing how insane that had to sound. An archangel, what would have have to do with a very young banshee? Which was a question she had asked herself so many times. And yet, Joel had kept coming, they had spent so much time together. Getting to know each other all over, had fun. Gone on walks, laughed and kissed. Kissing Uriel, the angel of wisdom. Well, he wasn’t really him yet. Maybe that had been the reason why he hadn’t come back. Now his memories told him, that she was beneath his status. And he had more important things to do, which he had. She just wished that it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

“It’s, a relationship of sorts, I’ve helped him, and he me, but to be fair it’s a very complicated story, and I wouldn’t offend you as it sounds rather ridicules to say out loud that one would be worthy to be in the presence of the archangel of wisdom” she had never really prayed to god, her tribe had gods of their own. Gods of hunt and valour. But never the god, that clearly hadn’t been in this church for some time. Or well, she could feel that there as something in this room. A strong presences of something.  

She wasn’t worried about getting eaten while she was sleeping. She seemed very calm about death in general, or maybe it was just him? It was worrying and he believed she needed something to believe in, that there was something worth both living and fighting for.
Things only got more interesting as she explained how she had met Uriel a couple of times. Interesting. He must’ve found her to be very interesting, Valdemar believed. Maybe even a favorite or something alike? Who would know.A relationship of sorts. He was almost convinced, until she mentioned how she had helped him and the other way around. Not that he doubted that the girl could have some possible gifts, but why in the world would a seven-thousand-year-old archangel ask a girl for help? He let out a soft chuckle as she mentioned offending Valdemar by speaking what some would categorize as nonsense. “You won’t offend me. I’ve met him too,” he said and drew on a smaller smile. “I’ve actually spent some years with him when I was younger,” he informed and looked down at her again. Most people wouldn’t believe a man if he explained that he was the son of the archangel, which was also why he kept it for himself for now. He opened a heavy wooden door which led to a slightly warmer room. He closed the door behind them to keep the warmth inside. “Make yourself comfortable,” he said and gestured to the dirty room. There was a wooden bed with an old mattress and a couple of chairs  which might have less hope for life than the girl. Except for the poor chairs, there was a fireplace, some solid stone stools and a rocky wooden table with a few crucifixes and other holy objects. Most of them was things he had found while cleansing the place. “Please, tell me your story about Uriel and your meetings. I won’t judge you experiences,” He sat down on one of the stone stools near the fireplace, resting his elbows on his thighs and merging his fingers together.

She looked a little surprised as he said that he had met Uriel too, even more so when he explained that he had even spent some years with him when he had been younger. But then again, she shouldn’t be so surprised should she, sometimes it was a curse having all these ghosts being pulled towards her. But in times of these, they helped her, the same when she had beaten Lazarus in their match, so many years ago.

Looking around in the room, it was quite obvious just how much this place was falling apart. She could almost feel the energy of the old place being pulled in different directions. Both holy and unholy. Make herself comfortable? She couldn’t help but chuckle, as there wasn’t really anywhere that looked comfortable, but her face quickly changed into something far more guilty. She shouldn’t laugh at the helping hand, showing her kindness in letting her stay. Even if this wasn’t an ideal place, for anyone. She took of her bag and placed it by the fireplace, she then pulled off the jacket he had lend her and offered him it back. Before she placed herself on the ground not far from the fire. Her brown eyes looked up as he asked for the story, and she narrowed her eyes. It was hard to trust people these days, especially in southside. But she didn’t deem him as a liar, and as he had told her that he knew about Uriel, then it didn’t seem like a bad idea to actually explain what was going on. “It must be, back in 2014 that I met him, I saw him fall from the skies in my homeland, and I had to save him from drowning in the lake he had fallen into” she looked into the fire and was reminded how she had built them a shelter, cared for him while had tried to remember who he was. “He had no memory of who he was, thought that his name was Joel” she looked at him with a sly smile “We fell in love, because we just thought – that he was a normal angel” it seemed so silly now, but she had never met an angel, but now when she had. She should have known; no angel would be that powerful. “He suddenly disappeared, and I started searching for him, he ended up finding me, in May, explaining me that his name was actually Uriel, and he was an archangel whose memory and heart stolen from a demon named James and a witch called Rebekah Sinclair?” she looked towards him not knowing if he knew, but somehow it just felt so good finally having someone to talk to about all of it. So, her tale just flew off her tongue like a waterfall. “Now, they had made a deal, and he would slowly get his memory back, but his been missing again now, for weeks – I’ve tried to find him, but, well – I have no idea if he is still alive or what has happened” but he would now? Right. She looked at the man, breathing out. Surely one of faith would know if an archangel would have died.

He didn’t take it to heart that she chuckled of his offering to make herself comfortable. Sadly, he was no witch to make everything wonderful and nice within seconds. She let her take all the time she needed to explain her story and while she explained, he tried for himself to think back to what had happened in 2014 and how things had evolved. He had been drowning and had no memory of who he was. It sounded odd, but he knew from other angels that Uriel had gone missing, so it made great sense. She continued to explain how both the memory and heart had been stolen, and it was almost immediately that names started to pop into his head. He nodded a bit as she looked at him while mentioning the names. It was the exact names that he had believed had been responsible for the trouble.

They made a deal. It almost felt like a pressure on his chest to hear that. Even more when she mentioned he had been gone for weeks. As she once again looked at him, he made sure to look at her. “Even though I haven’t been in direct contact with him,” he inhaled slowly, “I know that he’s still out there,” he exhaled. He straightened a little bit back up, “Now that I have an idea of your relationship with him, it’s also easier for me to tell you that I am his son,” he said. “Now, if he had none of his memory, I’m not sure whether or not he would remember me,” he pulled on a slightly crooked smile, “You even said that he believed his name was Joel?” he laughed a little. He just knew that his father would’ve been able to joke about something like that, but it would never last this long – after all it was almost 2022. Maybe eight years was nothing to an archangel but jokes like that never lasted that long. “If you’d like, we can pray to him. He might not show up, but it might strengthen both him and you for the journey ahead of you,” he offered. She didn’t need to know the words, he could them by heart and she just had to think of it and concentrate on her faith in Uriel.

She nodded and gave him a big smile; it was a great reassurance, that he told her that he knew that Uriel was still alive. But what made her widen her eyes, was when he told her that he was his son. Now that she knew that Joel, was actually Uriel and a very old archangel, it didn’t really surprise her that he had a big family, and probably had daughters and sons. But there was also something in her head, telling her that the children of God should get involved romantically. Maybe it had been the reason why she had been so reluctant to actually re-enter a relationship with Joel after she had found out. Based on the fact, that there would always be a higher calling for him. And that she couldn’t possibly deserve to be with a being like that. Not that it stopped her love or made her love him any less.

“Yeah, Joel, I think it’s because of the el in Uriel, but I don’t know where he got Jo” she said with a smile on her lips, not really knowing how to react or say on the fact that he was his son. Other than maybe it was nice to meet him? “I would love to do that” she told him, as he asked if she wanted to pray. Not that she knew how, but anything that might bring hope or help to Uriel, she would do in a heartbeat.

“I’m Kasumi, by the way” she introduced, herself with a soft expression. “You might have to guide me through the prayer, but I’ll do my best” she then added, folding her hands together, looking at him showing that she would follow along the best she could.

Valdemar popped his head a bit to the side as she mentioned how both names ended with el and it might be the reason for why he had believed that his name had been that. A gentle smile formed on his lips as she agreed to his offering.  He made sure they both had a place to sit as nicely as possible.
He looked up at her as she presented herself, “Valdemar,” he presented himself to her. “No worries, it’s what I do,” he assured her. He took his hands up so she could see them and let his fingers merge visibly, “It’s most important that you won’t be distracted, so do whatever you need to do to focus,” He put his hands down to his lap and closed his eyes. He waited for a moment, to let her get comfortable.


Valdemar made sure to pause for her to repeat or simply think the sentence. As soon as they had sad their amen, light appeared in the room. From downstairs you could even hear some creatures screech as they sought hiding from the holy aura which filled the whole church and more. Wings opened up wide, almost knocking things over. The feathers were the recognizable pure white color, with the distinctive feature of Uriel with the rusty red ends from the blood of Jesus. He tried to turn around, which made somethings tumble down. It made him fold his wings in and he looked towards the two people in the room and for a moment he smiled widely.

Kasumi nodded softly and placed herself, where Valdemar directed her to sit. Closing her eyes and holding her hands still. Taking in a deep breath and cleared her mind. Thinking about Uriel, how he looked how he talked. How she needed him to appear. And then he listened to the words that Valdemar was using, trying to have them form in her head without saying anything herself. Only until she knew that the prayer was done, and she whispered Amen. She was just about to open her eyes as a bright light formed around them. She had to put her arm over her eyes to not feel how the light burned them. Then a pair of wings knocked into her. A slight sound of losing breath left Kasumi that was thrown back. At first, she didn’t notice, until the smell of burnt hair filled the room. She didn’t even have time to notice the bright smile or that it was in fact Joel, or Uriel standing in front of her. A scream left her, as she tried to stop the further burning of her hair.

It only took a split second before Kasumi was knocked over and Valdemar was the first to react and throw himself towards Kasumi and started to pat her hair quickly trying to extinguish the fire in her hair. The smile of Uriel quickly disappeared, and Joel hurried forward. His ability to precognition the future made him quickly act and find a bowl of water. He picked it up and quickly moved to Kasumi to pour the water over her hair, not really letting the hair touch her body. As soon as the fire was out, Joel let go of the bowl and pulled Kasumi in for a hug. One arm around her body and the other on the back of her head. Valdemar on the other hand had gotten some of the water on him and made a little grunt before he picked up the bowl. “Welcome father,” he said with his husky voice. It made Joel open his eyes and look at the elderly man.
“I think this man might be out of his mind,” Joel whispered to Kasumi, not thinking much of the length of her hair. Valdemar clearly heard his fathers words and sighed. He then stretched his arms out so he could look at her. He took her in and studied her. “Are you okay?” he wondered.

A small gasp left the banshee when water was doused down the back of her head. At least it made absolutely sure that there was no more fire in her hair. A small sigh left her, as her own fingers glided through the now very short hair. At least hair grew back out, and it couldn’t be that bad. Then see realized that Joel was hugging her. And without a second thought she put her arms around her and pulled her close. Her nose dug into his hair, while closing her eyes. Breathing in his scent. She looked towards Valdemar and mouthed a small thank you, before turning towards Joel as he told her that Valdemar might be out of his mind.

Her brows curled together when he asked if she was okay. If she was, okay? If she was, okay? “What, if I’m okay? What about you, you have been missing for weeks?” she said a little flabbergasted letting her hands find his face. “Are you okay?” she wanted to know, then they could talk about her problems later.

Valdemar couldn’t help but send Kasumi a small nod as she mouthed a thank you. He didn’t mind. It was nice to see his father again, even though Uriel probably didn’t remember his own son.

Joel blinked a little for a moment as she seemed surprised by the question about how she was. She mentioned he had been missing for weeks. A frown appeared on Uriel’s face. Weeks. “No… I was just out the door… It’s only been…” he could tell on her reaction that it had indeed been weeks and not just days as he believed. “I will be,” Uriel assured the young banshee. “I’m more aware of everything,” he explained. The massive headache didn’t bother him that much… Or at least, Joel had decided that. “But please, are you okay?” he asked with a softer voice and looked worried at her again. “Oh wait”-“I have to sit down,” the way his voice changed as he spoke might surprise some. One voice slightly panicked, the other calmer. He held onto Kasumi while he slowly lost strength in his body. God, standing up was even a task now. Valdemar was quick to step forward and help Kasumi carry some of the weight, even though the wings were somewhat in the way. “Can you grab that bowl of water?” he asked and looked towards Kasumi. It was a bowl of holy water, that Valdemar was positive would help his father.

It hurt her to see him looking at her like that. As if she was talking nonsense and he didn’t believe her that he had been gone for that long. Mostly because that meant, that something bad had happened. If he had no memory of how long he had actually been gone, what was to say what had gone down?  She nodded slowly, as to tell him that he had been gone for weeks. It didn’t really soothe her beating heart when he told her that he would be okay. Maybe it should, but there was just something about him that scared her. Not in a sense that he would hurt her, but there was clearly something wrong. And she had no idea what to do, that was what scared her the most. That she wasn’t able to help someone she loved or cared about.

“Oh!” she exclaimed when he suddenly declared that he needed to sit down. Kasumi trying her best, to follow along and bend her knees to put him down as gracefully she could. Were very grateful when Valdemar decided to step in and help with taking some of the weight. “Yes, of course!” she was quick to leave Joel in the arms of his son, as he walked over to the bowl of water and walked back holding it towards Valdemar, so he could either take it or use it while she was still having it in her hands.

Valdemar pulled his father towards a stool and managed to sit Uriel down on it, resting his against Valdemar’s body. “Rest,” Valdemar told his father calmly. His father didn’t fight the command and he was too exhausted to even keep an upright posture. Kasumi got back to them, and Valdemar immediately put his hand down into the water only to put it over Uriel’s forehead. No, Valdemar was no magician, but he had been doing exorcisms for many years, and this might be able to help him. “What happened to you?” he asked before his eyes almost shut, looking down at Uriel while whispering an exorcism. Uriel had to take a couple of breaths, completely ruined just by sitting down. “Me-memories,” Uriel replied and looked directly at Kasumi with an exhausted look. “Kasumi, can you hand me the bowl and lock the door to the stairs?” Uriel asked calmly and tried to stretch his arms out to receive the bowl. With memories came better control of his powers, and he knew better how to manage them and what to do with visions and how to make people tell the truth or not.

Worry was written all over Kasumi’s face as she held the bowl for Valdemar to take what he needed for Joel, or Uriel. She was always so confused these days when she saw him. Because she could so clearly see the man she had fell in love with at times, and not when you talked about how he looked. But his voice changed when it was Uriel talked, and the way he looked her. Even to the times where he just held her hand. She couldn’t really describe just what it was, but she always knew. She nodded, fighting back tears as she handed Uriel the basin and turned around to walk over to the door and making sure it was locked and secure. For a moment she stood there after she had done it, lifting her head to look into the ceiling making the tears in her eyes stop forming. But she couldn’t quite keep them back, so a couple glided down her cheeks making her breathe out. Removing them quickly she turned around and walked back to them both. “Anything else I can do to help?” she asked with a soft voice.

Uriel took the bowl in his hands when she handed it to him, though he almost dropped it from how heavy it felt. He certainly needed some rest. She did as he had told and locked the door. It would definitely keep those ghouls out of the way for now, though if he just got a little rest, he knew that he could keep them away with just being present. He could almost taste the tears that ran down her cheeks as she stood by the door and tried to collect herself. At some point she turned towards them and asked if she could do anything else. He gave her a gentle smile while his son was doing the exorcism. “Come closer,” he said, completely slouched in the stool. He gave her his hand for her to hold, because he knew that whatever that had been done to get his memories back, there was definitely some unpure and mean souls connected to it, and he wouldn’t have Kasumi to get overwhelmed whenever it left him, which was he wanted her to hold his hand, to protect her as much as possible, since he knew that it made a difference for her.

Just in time for her to take his hand his back arched, his head was tilted backwards and his mouth stood open. Valdemar’s words became more persistent, and one could even see how sweat was coming of his forehead. And there it went. What could clearly be a few thousand souls crawled out of his mouth with an incredibly speed and filled the room with darkness. Even if Uriel looked completely possessed, he was very much conscious and gave Kasumi a gentle assuring squeeze. Everything was alright. With a few loud echoing words the whole room was emptied and every soul in the room rushed into the bow of holy water. Now it was Valdemar’s turn to sit down. Uriel blinked a couple of times before he managed to sit upright. He already felt more at his rightful power but didn’t want to brag and stand too quickly. “How did you get me here?” he panted and looked at Kasumi.

She gave him a small smile, walking closer and took his hand and sat down on her knees beside him. He even sounded different, like the ancient being that he actually was. Once again, she was hit with the gravity of everything, her eyes glided towards the door that she had locked. Then back when he arched his back and his head titled backwards. Her eyes filled with concern looked from him towards Valdemar to see if everything was going after plan. What happened next, made her crawl back, even though her hand was still locked with Uriel’s.
Even though they didn’t do anything, she could hear their screams, the wails that echoed against the walls around them. Her free hand found her ear while small sobs left her. Considering herself lucky that she was actually holding his hand at this moment, not even daring to think what would happen if she hadn’t.

And just as the darkness had formed in the room, light was once again restored. She was just about to get up and check if Valdemar was alright, when the voice from the chair was heard. How had she gotten him here? She gave him a small smile, even though it was still filled with sadness. “Valdemar helped me” she whispered, letting her tongue glide over her lips. “Are you feeling better?” she asked, even if she was somewhat afraid of the answer. She still had to come to terms with the fact, that the man that she loved, was not hers to have. He belonged to anyone that prayed for him and needed his guidance.

He nodded softly as she said that Valdemar had helped her. Of course, he had. He looked shortly at Valdemar before he looked back at the female banshee. “Much better, thank you,” he exhaled, “But it is going to take a while before things will be straightened out,” he said with a light smile. He studied her for a moment. “You are worried,” he spoke softly.
“She has missed you, you old fart,” Valdemar hissed from the floor.
Uriel hushed his son, “The adults are speaking,” he told his son, knowing very well that his son was older than Kasumi – or well, he knew that now. “No, I am not Joel, who you found in the lake,” his heart picked up a little speed by the thought of almost drowning. “But he’s still in here,” he assured her with a kind smile and moved her hand to where his heart should be.
“You still don’t have your heart,” Valdemar mumbled with a voice that clearly sounded like an old angry man, not even having to know what his father was doing.
“I think you should rest, Valdemar,” he said looking over the armrest where his son was sitting. He then looked back at Kasumi, “You’re tough, Kasumi,” he told her, “We can do this,” he assured her.

Everything about him. Wasn’t Joel.
She felt the pain force through her body, this had been the very thing she had been so afraid of, when Joel had explained to her what he was. Who he was… because he wasn’t Joel, he was Archangel Uriel, one of those that God had chosen as his most well-known and trusted angels that he had created. Long before he had created earth and the humans that lived on it.
But she hadn’t been prepared for what came next, him saying that he wasn’t Joel. Even though he tried to comfort her with saying that he was still in here. Because that hurt even more. In a sense, that meant that Joel wouldn’t come back to her, that the man she knew from the lake that had spent those months with her in the forest. She had lost him, because he had never existed to begin with. A small sniffle left her, and she dried away the tears that glided down her cheeks. She was tough and she wanted nothing more than to take joy in seeing the small interaction that was between father and son, because in only that sense, it was a beautiful and funny scene. But it hurt to much. “I don’t know how much I can do though” she whispered giving him a small smile, she couldn’t really wrap her head around being able to help an archangel get his heart back, from some powerful witch. “I don’t really have a home anymore, and I’m not sure I really know a whole lot about getting hearts back” she added in a low voice, taking her hands back and placed in front of her. Suddenly feeling so cold. If she could, and it wouldn’t have put her in danger, she would have stepped outside to clear her head for a moment. But she was stuck in here, looking at a man that was her Joel. But then. Not at all. And it tore her apart.

She didn’t need to say anything to let him know that she was in pain. She had trouble to believe that things were going to work out. Now, Uriel had been through a lot of loves and heartaches but that didn’t mean that he didn’t want to fight for this one too. Maybe it had been Joel who had loved her, but the love that he had felt for her, it still burned in Uriel. Joel was still a part of him. Joel however had only existed for such a short time, compared to the actual host. As the tear ran down her cheek, Uriel was quick to react on it, having already seen it come. He dried it away with a soft hand, but he knew it wouldn’t be the last one. He let her speak as she mentioned how she didn’t believe she could so that much. He knew that was a lie. She could do, so, so many things. Uriel was about to open his mouth to explain to her what she could do, when Valdemar chose to speak instead. “You can stay here as long as you need, I’ll make sure we get by,” Uriel shortly looked in the direction of his son before he looked towards Kasumi again. He let a gentle hand caress her cheek but took his hand back as she took her band away. “Kasumi, you have to trust me,” he said looking at her with very serious eyes. “We can do everything that we set our mind for,” he said not taking his eyes of her. “I can’t tell you what’s going to happen, but I know what’s going to happen,” he said with a serious tone. “And you don’t want to give up, okay? It’s going to be tough, but we-” he stopped for a second and his facial expression got softer, the same with his voice, “We can do this,” he spoke softly, sounding and looking way more like Joel than he had done just a moment ago. It wasn’t something he was completely aware of, but it happened.

Kasumi had to close her eyes when she felt Uriel’s hand find her cheek to wipe away the couple of tears that had escaped them. Then Valdemar spoke, telling her that she could stay as long as she needed. Making sure that they would get by. She was of course grateful for his offer but couldn’t shake the feeling of being a burden. She was after all soon thirty and should be able to take care of herself. But once again she was in a position where she needed to rely on others.
Trust him. She turned her head back towards Uriel. She found it easy to be in his company, it wasn’t that. But this wasn’t Joel, even if he told her that he was still there and that he looked like him. This was a different man, and she found it very hard to believe that he was right.
Her eyes flickered towards her hands before they found his again. Do this, she wasn’t even sure what this was. But she just gave him a small smile and nod. Because there wasn’t much else that she could do at this point. To overwhelmed with everything that had happened. So heartbroken by the fact that she would never find the man that she saved all those years ago.