A bleeding heart

She had been home one day, one day and it had already been torture. At least Neil had agreed on staying with Fenris, which meant that Riley could have her house in the forest back. Everything could go on like normal. The thing was just that, nothing was normal anymore and she felt like she was choking staying in this house with the before perfect family that was now falling apart. She was done with the bickering, the sadness and the judging looks. Even though it seemed like Roman tried to move past the fact that Ryan was in love with the girl that had killed their brother. Rose never really could forgive Seraphina, and the only reason that she was looking the other way were the fact that she really liked Kemuel, and that she understood loving someone even though the rest of the world would think it was wrong. But now? After the whole episode of Melanie, Neil and Fenris. It was like the air that before had been tempered around her, was now very chilled. She couldn’t breathe in her own home, and she couldn’t stay any longer in a home that didn’t feel like home.  

So, she had found some of her old bags for when they had gone on champing. As she started throwing in her clothes, hoping that even though she hadn’t asked Neil’s father would be able to find it in his heart to let her stay. At least there someone cared, someone wanted her to be around. Not like this, not where she didn’t even feel like she had a place anymore.

Roman had stayed over at Katelyn's father's house with Katelyn since the wild hunt had happened. Mostly because it seemed like things were shaken a bit up, and he had wanted to be there for both Katelyn and Maya. It was only because his mother had texted him to be home for dinner that he actually had got in his car and drove home. There was something different in the air, he sensed it the moment he came inside, and he went in to say hello to everyone downstairs, then he walked up towards his room, when he took a step past Rose' bedroom. He stopped on the way, pressing his brows together seeing her stuff clothing into the old camping bags. "Planning on going on a hike without me?" He asked leaning against the doorframe with his left shoulder, crossing his arms in front of him. He could sense something was up, but he had also never been known to push regarding it - he knew Rose would tell him when she was ready, she just had to know that he was there. After a few seconds he stepped into the room next to her looking at what she was packing, it didn't seem like something for a camping trip. Of course he had had a moment of worry when he had heard about the hunt in the forest a few nights ago, also because Selene had gotten hurt in it. But at least to Roman's knowledge his family had no reason to be out in the woods, and Riley hadn't been much time in her little hut lately - so he had assumed everyone were alright.

She noticed him before he even stood in the door asking if she was going on a hike without him. At first, she kept her eyes on the task, getting her close and other keepsakes packed so she could get out of here. Then there was the other slight obstacle, her not really having a voice. Well, she did, and she could speak a little, but it made a strain, and it was uncomfortable to even attempt pressing words out of her throat. So, at first, she didn’t say anything, as she kept packing. But as he stepped into the room and didn’t seem to leave, she let out a small sigh “I’m leaving” she whispered with a voice clearly strained, as if she had been screaming or had a sore throat. But they all knew that werewolves never got sick, so the last one could quickly be debunked. She didn’t say anything else, as she didn’t really know what she could say. It wasn’t like anyone had time anyway. Roman always out with Katelyn, Ryan obsessed with Seraphina and Riley. She never really did know what her twin sister was running around doing. She just felt, alone, and now that she finally had found someone that cared and wanted her, for her. Why shouldn’t she just get the hell out of this house?

Roman took a sharper breath in, standing next to her. There was a tension in the room, making him feel rather uncomfortable, mainly because of the silence. But the house hadn't really been nice to be in since Romeo had died, the tension was there in one form or another, but this time it was different. The whisper was heard, the pain in the undertones like knives in his heart twisting around. Now, Roman was well aware that he had been anything but around his family, Riley lived in her fantasy world, him and Ryan discussed almost at any given chance - but Roman and Rose, had always been able to discuss something or at least have a chance of a conversation - he had always felt closest to her. Leaving. He had thought about that countless of times as well, enough to ask Katelyn if he could camp in her mother's backyard, enough to even just think about sleeping in his car or set up a camp in the forest - anything really. He wondered what had happened to her voice, wondered what had happened. Roman hadn't really been told much about this Neil person that Rose had been seeing, and since she hadn't come to Roman about it, he hadn't asked further questions.

However, the otherwise sour wolf placed a hand around his sister's shoulders and gave it a little squeeze as he breathed out. "What is going on Rose?" He then asked as he let go of her, and sat down on the bed next to the bag she was packing. He looked concerned, and Roman never looked concerned without reason. If he could avoid emotions he would, but he never avoided it with his sisters, he had always wanted them to be able to come to him no matter what.

If it hadn’t been for the fact that it was Roman, and he very quickly took his hand back to sit down on her bed. She would have shaken of the hand; she could feel the short panic that spread through her chest. Which was weird as this was her brother, not the random guy at the bar. Nor the firing of gunshot and penetrating pain. She had thought about it, and if Neil’s mother. Melanie hadn’t been there to take some of her pain, she wasn’t sure that she would even be standing here today. As he asked her what was going on, she didn’t even know how to convey just how upset she was. If it wasn’t already written quite clearly in her face. But the problem was that she couldn’t speak all that well, making it very hard for her to explain to Roman just why she was doing it or were she was going. “I just” she started and quite frustrated threw some more of her stuff down the duffle back and pulled a fast hand through her hair. “I need” she tried again and felt how the words almost caught in her throat making her just that more frustrated over her own limitations. Now she had figured somewhat out how to use her powers and share what it was she was feeling or thinking. But she somehow didn’t think that her brother would appreciate that. She kept packing feeling how she heaved in a big chunk of air filling her lungs and pressing it out again. Everything felt heavy and uncomfortable. “I don’t, want, to, stay” she finally tried to finish a somewhat coherent sentence.

Roman couldn't recall a time where he had seen his sister in such distress, maybe right after Romeo's death. Everyone had been dealing with it so different, everyone had been somewhat blinded by their grief - he still wasn't convinced what was going on with Ryan and Seraphina, but had stopped caring much about what they were doing and just let them be. His attention was right now on Rose, how she struggled, got frustrated, making him wish to reach out for her and just hold her close, but he also knew better than to overstep her boundaries. Why didn't she want to stay here? Roman pressed his brows a little bit together, now it wasn't like he was the perfect example and if anyone was keen on getting out of this house - it was Roman. He had even begun to search for his own apartment down in the city center, just to escape the reality of the household. Roman took a deeper breath in and kept his eyes on Rose, he wanted to ask her why, what was going on, but it seemed so much effort for her to even just speak. "Okay," he breathed out. "Where are we going?" Roman then asked and kept his eyes on her, because there was no way he was going to let her just go out wander the world by herself.

She wanted to yell, to scream. To ask him if he had even searched for her, or had they just kept it a secret that she was gone? Had someone said that there were hunters in the woods and she had been hurt? Or had everyone just not cared about that child, that seemed to be nothing but trouble anyway. But no words left her tongue, which wasn’t like her. Always telling things as she saw them, also when she was in the wrong. She never stopped getting her opinion across. But after everything that had happened, she had gotten some kind of psychogenic voice disorder, because of trauma and stress. She didn’t really care, but least her voice was slowly coming back. Slowly but she was getting there, day by day.

“To Neil’s house” she finally got out, as she started sipping up the first bag, she looked at it before seeing around her room to see what else she should bring. To be fair, the only important things were her school stuff and some clothes. Other than that, she didn’t have much of importance. Besides the pictures of her and her siblings scattered around. Things she had collected why on vacation. But after the death of their oldest brother, it was like the whole family had stopped function as a normal family.

He knew she hadn't been home when Irina had called Katelyn about something happening in the woods, but his mind not even thinking about a situation where Rose would find herself in the woods - because why on earth would she be out there? Roman had barely heard anything about this Neil guy, he had heard something about a guy, but big brother Ryan thought it was best if Roman just minded himself - so as when Ryan said anything, Roman let it be. Realizing now he perhaps should have kept tabs on this feeling of something being out of place, but he hadn't. "Neil's house?" He repeated with his brows pressed together. Clearly, no one had intentions on updating Roman on anything.

"Now give me a worst brother of the year award already, but who the fuck is Neil?" Roman asked a little, pulling the back a bit away from her, because he wanted simply for her to look at him. "Rose, what is going?" Despite his worry and building frustration his voice was calm - but he couldn't help if he didn't understand the situation, not that he was sure if she even wanted his help.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, pulling a slight pained expression as she felt how it stabbed all the way down to her lungs. Man, she really hoped that Fenris was right, and all of this was just psychological. That apparently it could be triggered by traumatic events. It would be a shame to say, that Rose hadn’t been through her share of trauma this year. She found some clothes that she had almost forgotten and threw that into another back before turning towards Roman again. As he asked what was going on.

“I” she pointed towards herself, as she could feel how hurt, and betrayal formed over her face. “I got shot” she licked her lips as she fought through every word that she was saying. “By hunters, in the woods” she took in a raspy breath exhaling deeply “And no one cared to, to even text and check if I – was, alright” she turned to her second bag “So, so I’m going to my, my boyfriend” she swallowed again pressing her eyes together when pained follow every word she said. She hated this, every second of it and she wished that of all people it hadn’t been Roman that caught her in running away. But she had made up her mind, and just as her older brother, she had a tendency to be very stubborn ones she had decided something.

No one ever told Roman anything. Ryan didn't share anything with him unless he was forced to, and Riley lived in her own little world. Then there was Rose and Roman, who had their fair share of understanding each other, and usually he believed that were enough, but right now. Right here, he knew he had missed something. Hunters. He knew about a few episodes about hunters in the woods, because he had been here with Katelyn when she had gotten that call from Irina few days ago. Roman took a sharper breath in and held it for a moment, no he hadn't been bed checking where Rose was, he thought she was just out with someone - doing her own things as she usually did. "I - I didn't know," he breathed out. Well, Katelyn had been worried out of her mind after that call, and he had used his focus on calming her down, being there for her. So no, he was possible right there an awful brother. "Your boyfriend?" It was not as much a judging Rose having a boyfriend as him not knowing she had one. Again, no one told Roman anything. Which just reminded him of how much he right now wanted to punch Ryan in the face - well of course Roman didn't know how much Ryan actually knew, he spent so much time as possible next door. And if it weren't for Maya and Katelyn, Roman would still very much hold a big grudge against Seraphina - and he still did, because he couldn't really forgive her for what she had taken for him. None of this would have happened if Romeo hadn't died. "Rose - I'm sorry. I - I didn't know," he knew that was the problem, and it pained him. He didn't know what to say, was there even a right thing to say?

It didn’t feel any better that Roman just hadn’t known. Melanie had been in the woods, talking with Walter. So, why hadn’t he or her family told him that she had been shot? What kind of messed up kindness was that? It only wanted her to leave even more. Because that had to mean that they just didn’t really care, wouldn’t it? At least that was how it felt like to her. She licked her lips and packed the last things before zipping up her bags and looked towards Roman as he told her that he was sorry, once again that he didn’t know. She shrugged, feeling how she had to try very hard not to cry in front of her brother. “That’s the problem isn’t?” she forced herself to speak once again, feeling how strained and rusty her voice sounded. Letting out a soft sigh, looking towards her bags before towards him. She licked her lips and let out another soft exhale. “I thought –“ she started, because Riley had known that Neil was a rouge. She had heard how she had begged, and how she had protected Neil in front of Walter. How she could have been thrown out of the pack and joined Neil in the same status because of her actions. So, she had thought it had something to do with the fact that she had decided to stay with Neil despite everything. But who was she to argue when her wolf had decided that he was the one they wanted to spend the rest of their life with? “Neil – Neil is a rouge, so I just” she shrugged, and didn’t say the last words, because they were rather self-explanatory.

That’s the problem isn’t? It wasn't the only problem. The problem was none of them spoke to each other anymore. No one knew what was going on in the other persons life and it was an evil circle. It was only Katelyn who knew Roman almost had drowned back in January on that boat. Only Roman who had to deal with the fact he had turned someone into a werewolf by accident after being provoked enough. There was so many struggles each of them struggled with, and none of them screamed loud enough till it was too late. Roman had needed to focus outside his family outside these hollow walls he had felt trapped in, so his mind has been searching to help Katelyn, to help Maya and spend time with their family.  Not that he would ever see that as a mistake, they had needed him too. But he hadn't been able to hear his sister's silent scream.

A rouge. Roman raised her brow. Knowing what it meant. Rouges were the outcasts, the dangerous wolves that ran by their own code and didn't care about anything or anyone but themselves. How could she even? Roman cleared his throat a little bit, because when it came to being dangerous for your partner, perhaps he shouldn't be the one talking too loud since his bite had the potential of killing his girlfriend. But weren't they all a pair? Ryan dating Romeo's killer. Rose dating a rouge. "You are being careful right?" He then asked, tried, he really did try not to be too judgmental - so it helped he was more of a concerned brother right now than his usual judgy persona.

She looked away, feeling tears starting to burn against her eyes as he asked her if she was being careful. She was, even if she hadn’t known about Neil’s family background. Even if he was a nobody, she would still love him. But it was only a great example that one should never judge a person, just by its status. Especially not knowing what the circumstances behind it. “Walter knows” she just added, as that being reason enough for her taking care of herself. And being careful enough. “His mother” she swallowed and felt how her throat was clamming together, making it rather hard for her to speak at this point. “She’s the first-born beta, everything, will be, okay” she mumbled, turning her eyes towards Roman, picking up her things and walked past him, out her room and down the stairs to the front door. Putting down her bag, looking towards the kitchen where their mother and father was standing, clearly not very happy about it either. But she hadn’t really given them any choice, and since she was eighteen, they had no legal right to make her stay. Especially since Walter hadn’t said no.

His heart broke, or it was already broken just put back together, but he could feel parts of it starting to crack as she looked away. She always looked away when she tried not to cry, making his body tense. Walter knew? Of course Walter knew, making Roman fold his lips a little bit. Then Rose mentioned that Neil's mother was the first born beta werewolf, and that she would be fine. Now, he didn't know any of the original werewolves - yet - but he had to trust that Walter knew what he was doing right? Roman didn't follow her as she got up and walked past him. He just kept sitting frozen on her bed, looking around in her room. How had things happened to just fall apart like this? He took a deeper breath in feeling a few tears escaping his eyes, but quickly removed them away as he exhaled a bit frustrated, picking up some of the clothing she hadn't managed to put in the bag, and closed his hands around the fabric for a second. "Bloody hell Rose," he cursed lowly and shook his head. Not because he specifically cursed at her, it was just the entire situation. Then he got up and put the clothing away in the right drawers and turned to the window watching his sister walk away.