State of the heart

Dedicated to @Malcolm

Date | 12th of October
Time | Early morning,
Weather | Its pouring down
Surroundings | Doctors and nurses hasn’t done their rounds yet
Attire | Some grey sweats and a loose sitting long sleeved t-shirt, there are still cuts and bruises in her face and down her neck.

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Birdie was normally a proud and smiling creature. There was a lot that needed to take the dark fairy down, but the last couple of years and turned the normally self-assured and beautiful woman into a shadow of herself. Doing things, she never would have done before, and turning to means that had ended up ruining her life much more than she had thought it would. Yesterday had been the peak of everything she had gone through. Almost killing a person because she took her eyes of the road for two seconds. She breathed out as she slowly sneaked down the halls of the hospital. She had figured that the man wasn’t that far from her own room. She didn’t even know why she was seeking him out, but she just had to make sure that he was alright. She leaned against the shadows of the wall as a lonely nurse walked down the halls. But being so occupied with the chard in her hand, she didn’t even notice Birdie, and she could easily sneak into the room. She turned around, seeing a person almost crawling out of the window. “Hey, oh my god, what are you doing” she hushed and tried to get over him as quick as she could, but with her still sore body after the crash yesterday she didn’t move as quick as she used to. Letting her hands softly take his arm turning him away from the window.

"No, you need to stay in bed Malcolm - don't walk around on your feet Malcolm, bad idea to walk from Russia to Spain Malcolm," he mumbled to himself as he had gotten over to the window and mumbled a spell to open it. "So far so good, let's get the hell outta this hell hole," he smiled a little to himself as he climbed up the window sill. He looked down, okay it would make quite the fall, but it he was lucky enough and good enough at jumping - maybe he could make it to the tree outside the window. Malcolm stood and calculated the chances. The rain made it a little bit harder, but he also didn't care much about different kinds of weather. Malcolm had gotten into some more real clothing rather than the hospital gowns that made him feel like a doll to be thrown around with. Magic was marvelous like that, so he had treated himself with a black t-shirt and a pair of cowboy trousers. Suddenly a voice behind him made him turn his head, what was he doing? "What does it look like I'm doing?" He asked with hanging almost half the window, "I'm getting the fuck out of here, I thought that was obvious?" Malcolm added as if it wasn't evident.

”You’re what?” her Australian accent coming through as she this time pulled him back and used her own magical powers to close the window, She stepped in front of it raising her brow looking at the man clearly wanting to get out of the hospital. “You know, there are better ways of skipping hospital time, than jumping out the window” she said as a smirk started forming on her lips, at least it seemed that he was alright, she looked towards the street seeing just how long a jump it would be for him, did he really expect that he would get down from here without getting hurt, he had to be joking. “Best you do, is break your fall with that tree, maybe bend a couple of ribs, worst case you also break your leg and an arm” she let her tongue glide over her lips, a pain ripped through her side, and she leaned against the wall holding in the pained expression that was dying to appear. “If you want, I can get you out, as an apology for being the one putting you here” breathing out she gave him a sweet innocent smile, knowing very well that the last part might not be something that would go down well.

She used magic to outmagic him, that was outrageous and he narrowed his eyes at her, clearly having killed her with his gaze if possible. "Yeah, but that would incline me walking out the room, window is much closer by," he pointed out crossing his arms a little and kept his eyes locked on her. "You clearly underestimate me, see, I'm pretty good at magic and I'm pretty good at handling wounds - so I think I will do just fine missy - but thank you for your concern," he smiled a little brighter. The pained expression didn't do him much more than getting aware of the situation, but the adding that she was the reason he was here. Malcolm walked closer to her, lifting a finger and pointed it towards her not more than a few inches away from her face. "You are the bowling ball," he narrowed his eyes a little still keeping them on her. Then he lowered his hand a little, "you should stop driving, clearly you suck at it." Malcolm took a step back and shook his head at her. "I do not want your help, or need it."

Of course, the bright smile faltered just as soon as he realized who she was. She breathed out, knowing by now you couldn’t force yourself into another’s life. Making a small nod, she looked towards the door and back at him. “Well, yesterday I did yes, I’m glad to see you are okay” she said with a soft smile clearly defeated by the whole ordeal. “Okay, then, just walked out the room I’m guessing they wouldn’t even notice that you did” she said and walked past him and looked out on the hallway “There isn’t anyone out” looking back she took in a deep breath licking her lips “Sorry for playing bowling with you, really wasn’t my attention” she titled her head winking before she walked out the room down the hall to her own.

"Okay? Do I look okay to you? I'm stuck in here aren't I?" Malcolm reminded her crossing his arms a little bit, as he took a sharper breath in. Maybe they wouldn't notice if he tried to walk out, and maybe they would. "Well, my brother works here. And then there is this fine little delicate ... what was her name... - Doctor Lewis, I'm pretty sure she has eyes on me," he looked around the room as if he was sure there was some sort of camera on him. "I swear that human has some secret secretive thing going on," he lifted his finger a little bit as he took a deeper breath in. Then she apologized, "then why did you do it? Hey don't you -" he took a few steps closer towards the door and looked up the frame, expecting this Doctor Lewis to be some secret ninja or anything that could jump him if he left. Okay, maybe he had tried to sneak out a few times last night, and it hadn't worked out well. But he walked out with ease, nothing to be paranoid about. "I wasn't done talking - Are you sure you shouldn't be locked up somewhere? Because, clearly you are trying to kill people with your car, as I mentioned - you are not safe to be around."

She had to be honest about not really listing to his rambling as she walked out of his room and a few doors down into her own again. But suddenly she stood behind her, telling her that he wasn’t done talking. She looked around raised her brows as he started poking around in matters that was none of his business triggering things that weren’t very helpful to the situation. “You know, it’s very dangerous of you walking around saying such things standing in front of a dark fairy from wonderland” she mused, walking towards him, the door smacked behind him so he could walked out. Almost like she tried to cornering him. “Now, I might have not been in my right mind yesterday, but don’t you find it odd that I was in a coma, and you weren’t even in surgery?” she asked licking her lips poking his chest “And I’m not the one walking around thinking that people are out to get you” she looked up towards the ceiling towards him again “Okay fair I did run you over yesterday, but doctor Lewis is a sweetheart, why the hell should she be anything other than a brilliant doctor” she mused shaking her head walking back to her bed.

Malcolm couldn't help but crack a little laugh, very well knowing it was rare to meet fairies that were from Wonderland - sometimes so rare that people called it a myth. Malcolm knew better. The door closed behind him, making a smirk pull up on his lips a little. "I find a lot of things odd sweetheart, but I also know when I want to point it out or not," he replied licking his lips a little as he folded them. He grabbed her finger that poked him, shaking it a little before letting go again. He rolled his eyes a little, "every one has a secret layer to them, no one is only a saint and no one only a sinner - that's not how the universe is created," he took a deeper breath in, mostly talking to himself, but he didn't mind sharing his point of view - far from. "Why would be anyone be anything but how they appear to others, but there is something about her - something dark, almost like death - can't you taste it in the air, or is it just my years of studying other creatures to know something is up," he mused a little as she walked towards her bed. "You are a dark fairy, you must know what I'm talking about. Such dark magic doesn't come easily accessible," he reminded her lifting a finger in the air, giving her a little wink.

She turned around, narrowing her eyes while her head titled a little. Was he for real? And somehow, a smile formed on her lips and a small giggle appeared. He was, one of the weirdest men that she had ever met. Intriguing really, which wasn’t something she thought about many people. He had just been so angry with her, and now, it was like he wanted her to believe in what he believed in. Her arms folded in front of her chest as she kept her eyes on him, she sat down, watching his finger that he pointed towards. Dark fairy, a small huff left her, and she took a deep breath in before letting it out of her nose. Well, she was, even though she thought it with every power of her being. She didn’t want to be the typical character traits that the dark fairies carried. Fighting one’s nature, it could be exhausting but for her it also was a way to keep herself entertained. “You really are an odd one” she breathed leaning back on her bed with her hands placed beside her. “Are you just bored? Or did you actually hit your head much harder than people seemed to think?” she asked lifting her brows as her lips split into a smirk, almost as if she was challenging him.

An odd one.
"If I had a pound for every time I've heard that one," he snorted a little, watching her lean back on the bed. "This time, or last time?" He replied with a cheekier smirk, to be fair, he had lost count on how many times things had happened that could cause harm to his mental health. But wasn't it also first this year that people really had come to realize there was a thing called "mental health"? People hadn't cared in the past, if you didn't function it was just too bad. Malcolm however, did function. The most harm caused to him was after he had healed Willson after he had been trapped by hunters. Even after using his powers and magic, it hadn't been enough to heal the dark forces that Willson had been cursed with - and Malcolm, even if he wouldn't admit it, had gotten the worst of it in the end. Everything following that had just added to the chaos in his head. "But no, I'm never bored - boredom is for people who make up excuses to not do anything with their lives," he pointed out and stood against one of the walls, leaning up against it with his back - keeping his eyes on her. Malcolm started realizing that he had actually effortlessly left his room, making him press his brows a little bit together, maybe Nia wasn't breathing down his neck after all - or maybe she was. "How long are they keeping you in this hell hole?" he wondered while crossing his arms a little bit.

”Let me guess” She  pulled one hand up and placed her index finger right under her nose feeling the light pressure of the cold finger against her lip, before she moved it and pointed it towards him. “Then you would be a very rich man?” she asked, putting her left hand down again, feeling how she pulled the fabric from the duvet under her hands tighter.  Her one eye narrowed, and a doubtful look formed over her facial expression when he looked at her asking if she meant this time or last time. It would explain why he sounded like a man with a few loose screws. But to be honest, didn’t all interesting persons have some kind of diagnosis? Almost in the sense that you couldn’t be smart, eccentric or have a logical mind without something needed to be attached to it, so ‘normal’ people wouldn’t feel left out. Because then they could just blame it on the fact that their brains were just riddled with flaws. Flaws that usually made people famous.

She couldn’t stop the laugh that bobbled from her throat as he told her that he thought that boredom came from the excuse to not do anything about one’s life. Maybe he had a point. “But someone also said that a little boredom is good for all” she retorted liking her lips. He then decided to change the subject asking her how long she was staying. She pulled her shoulders “Depends, if the rubber cell is waiting with my name on it” she told giving him an almost wicked smile. “Why, are you fearing for your safety? Maybe I’m in the mood of driving a little more when getting out of this ‘hell hole’”

Malcolm chuckled a little by her guess, "correction, and even richer man," he pointed out lifting a finger in the air. Malcolm did have money, a lot actually - that happened when you were as old as he was. He took a deeper breath in, when she said that someone had said boredom was good for the soul. "Well, sounds like something a person who often is bored would say, wouldn't you agree?" The warlock clicked his tongue a little bit. Boredom, who had even made up that word? He hated that word. Just an excuse to lack ambition and goals.

He tilted his head a little bit to the side, just by an inch. Oh yeah, if she didn't get her ass thrown in jail. "I don't believe in jail. How is jail teaching anyone about anything really? You just sit and rot. I believe public embarrassment is a far better punishment," he noted followed by a simple nod. Just like in the middle ages. Dreadful times but still times he recalled with a smile. "You shouldn't joke about safety and people getting hurt in crashes," he could feel his jaw tense as he looked away, catching his own eyes in the mirror for a moment. "People could die," he took a sharper breath in as he turned his eyes towards her again, for the first time letting the seriousness of the situation light up in his eyes, no funny words or sentences. He had lost his mother the last time there had been a car crash, and both him and his father had also been injured back then. He didn't find it a time to play around. "And if you just are going out of here to go around killing people? That is not gonna work for me." he pressed his brows wondering together, almost as if he tried to figure out what to do with her.

Birdie couldn’t help but roll her eyes as he corrected her by saying that he would be an even richer man. Now it wasn’t because Birdie had ever lived in poverty, but she wasn’t rich either. And there was just something about these very rich people, of course it helped knowing that many of them were insanely old. But that didn’t mean that you had to flaunt it in people’s faces. She rose from her lying position and sat up straight, her eyebrows lifted as he explained to her that he believed in public embarrassment rather than punishment. Who the hell were this guy, and what was his problem?

Her eyes narrowed as he told her not to joke about the matter. It was quite intriguing just how fast he could chance his standpoint about her. It wasn’t just the fact that she had hit him yesterday, there was something else sticking under. Maybe he had lost someone in a crash? “People die every day” she told him, knowing that very well. How many of her soldiers hadn’t died of a roadside bomb? To many. The last comment made an anger flare inside of her, pushing him back with a burst of her magic powers. “I. Don’t. Kill. People” she hissed, getting up from the bed feeling how her lilac power scorched up her arm, telling him very clearly he had pushed the wrong button.

"People die every second," he added clicking his tongue a little bit. She looked angry, which was really more on her than him, it was how she tackled his sayings, and to Malcolm it spoke more about her than him. He was being on his best behavior, even when it could be hard to see. She pushed him back with a rush of magic, making him laugh a little bit to himself, now if she wanted a magic fight - he was more than happy to provide her with it - but this was nor the time or the place for such shenanigans. She got up from the bed, still looking angry - one could say she had gotten the wrong leg out of bed. Her hissing made her him sigh and roll his eyes, then we won't have a problem, now would we?" He raised his brow a little bit. "Looks like someone is having a very bad day," he used his own magic to block hers, taking a step closer to her. "Don't go all magic on me darling -" he warned her, standing right in front of her. And now he did specialize in offensive magic as long with the defensive, he had had a great teacher - he had become a great teacher to others. "Everything alright in here?" A voice spoke as the door was opened and Clay took a step inside. The hybrid looked at Birdie and then at the warlock.

Oh, she could hit him, maybe she should have just let him die as she drove into him. That insolent little worm, coming in here thinking he knew all about her. Judging her on doing something, any other person could have done, but not have been able to use their magic to make sure they would walk away. “Yes, yes I am! You are making this a bad day, by showing all your delightful personalities doctor Jekyll!” even though it was clear she was upset with him, she managed to keep her voice very quiet and matriculate. She didn’t want to use her magic on him, but having chaos magic and being tired, then pushed like he was pushing her? It was hard to control it. So, it was almost calming that he managed to cancel out her magic. “Don’t darling me” she tried to fight the many emotions running around her body, and what did not help? Was her ex-husband walking in asking if everything was alright. “No, I was out of line, I’m sorry” she said and took a step away from Malcolm, not looking at him nor Clay.

Clayton knew Birdie, at least to a point where he could see when she was upset. This clearly being one of the signs, making him click his tongue a little bit, even if she took the blame. Clayton had been told by Ash that Mr. Jones could be a handful to handle, but harmless if not provoked. So, Clay took it pretty easy. Mostly because he did not want to provoke two powerful beings. "Maybe you should return to your own room sir, and I will send someone to check you out?" Clay said rather calmly, not that he wanted to be calm, but anything else would be rather unprofessional and he had already gotten one warning for taking personal matters in at the hospital. Malcolm turned to the doctor taking a few steps closer towards him, not more than a breath away. Malcolm wasn't going to - at least on purpose - step on the hybrid's toes. There was no doubt that the hybrid was strong, he could feel the power within him, making the warlock a bit curious. He clicked his tongue a little bit looking into Clayton's eyes, pressing his brows together almost as if he was scanning him, figuring him out. Now Clay could easily compel the warlock to simply just follow the order, but it so seemed the warlock nodded a little and looked back. "Nice guard dog you have - or is that wrong to say? I'm not sure," he pressed his brows together looking back at Clay. So much for not saying something offensive, not that Malcolm had made it so far in his calculations that it could be offensive.

Her eyes finally looked towards Clay as he told Malcolm that he might needed to return to his room. Get someone checked out. Birdie pulled a small grimace as she knew that made it more difficult for Malcolm to leave, and she found it funny that she for a moment suddenly seemingly cared that she once again was causing him trouble. Especially after how he had just talked about her. She didn’t say anything, nor do anything. Why should she? She wasn’t talked to, and – then Malcolm turned his gaze towards her; nice guard dog you have. Birdie opened her mouth and was a loss for words, what the hell. Then she turned towards Clay, knowing there was a fine line between a pleasant man and someone that would defend if being pushed a little too far.  “Rich coming from someone, with so deeply rooted abandonment issues that he needs to let everyone around him being as miserable as himself, if they don’t count as he closets family” wait what?. Her eyes became big, as she noticed what she had just said. Where did that come from, and why did she feel like there was some truth in those words? She shook her head, letting fingers dance over her face feeling a wave of nausea and fatigue rush over her. Maybe she should just go and lie down.

Malcolm could already hear Willson and his father scream in his ear to shut up or at least use his inside voice - but he wasn't sure he even had one. The fairy spoke again, making the warlock click his tongue and turn around towards her, "aw, did I upset your feelings?" Malcolm pressed his brows a little bit together. He knew discomfort when he saw it, so where for he did not think twice about being done with her small little mind games, so he whispered a sleeping spell to cause her to collapse. Clay being awfully fast was quickly by Birdie's side as she fell under the spell and grabbed her, lifting her towards the bed. "You should go, now." Clayton snarled at the warlock. "Now you better listen, I'm not asking again," Malcolm rolled his eyes but well, he wasn't there for trouble and he really wanted to get the hell out of here either way, so he turned around to leave. Mumbling a spell to reverse what he had done to Birdie just as he left

Her face did all the talking for her at first, and before she could answer he had whispered a spell and her eyes rolled back into her head before her body became limp as if she had been a doll and someone had just cut her strings.

When she awoke, she was in the arms of Clay when the spell lifted. Confused she looked up towards him as he placed her in her bed. “What, happened?” she asked a little confused, rolling around not feeling very comfortable. “Oh, my, he just!” she was ready to get up from her bed again running after that little weasel. "Don’t, out of my way! I hate sleeping spells!” she shouted, feeling how it messed with her head, almost gave her flashbacks to when she had been captured and not in control over her body or her magic. As the ones that had gotten the better of her had known, almost as if they had gotten inside knowledge to what to look out for. Tears sprung in her eyes, a mess, complete mess was what she was. Especially how memories from that time triggered and completely overwhelmed her.

"Yeah he did, - and no you don't" he kept his hold on Birdie and took a deeper breath in. "Hey, hey - I'm here okay, he is gone - don't start a war with the Jones' just because one of them is a loose canon," Clay breathed out trying to keep his voice somewhat calm, but he didn't understand Malcolm, but he knew just from standing close to him that his mind was so corrupted that it almost made Clay feel sorry for him. Because usually he did not feel his powers to beg so much to enter a persons mind, it had been screaming at him. "Look at me, okay, focus on me," he didn't mind having to lift her towards the bed by the hold around her waist, to come and sit down with him at the bed. "It's just me now." Of course he could go in an linder what was running wild in her head, but he also knew that so much was that going in her head wouldn't do anything better - one of the reasons why he never did.

She tried to focus on him as he asked her to. But it resulted in him swimming around in her memories. Transporting her back when he had found out, when she had told him what she had done. Birdie looked at him, but it was clear she wasn’t really there, in that moment in front of him. She felt his arms, and she let out a yelp, she hadn’t been touched like that since.

since...

She stared up in the ceiling as she felt how the man she trusted, the one she called her boss let his arms fold around her waist. She didn’t fight as he started to undress her. She remembered drinking wine; she shouldn’t have. She should have gone home. So, this was her fault, as he told her over and over again. The darkness overwhelming inside of her, as she screamed, and no one could hear it. That was when she realized she screamed inside of her head. When it was done, she sat in at the side of the bed he had carried her too. Feeling pain and a horrible feeling spread inside her, that she had just done this to Clay. Cheated on him. What a wife she was, horrible, disgusting. Couldn’t even get over herself from what had happened in Iraq. Hadn’t let him in.

She gasped trying to fight Clay off, tears running down her cheeks wanting nothing more than the memories to end. But she didn’t dare to ask, he didn’t deserve seeing her being unfaithful. Hurting him all over again, with her being like that.

He couldn't really keep her out of his head, and his thoughts merged with hers, it was not what he wanted to see. The last thing he wanted to see. It was possible close to the worse thing she could be directing him to right now, and his entire body tensed up. It was first as she pushed herself off him that he got up from the bed, taking a deeper breath in, feeling like his heart was beating so fast, his emotions boiling within him, making his anger and hunger turn to the surface in a way it hadn't since one of his closer friends died, a woman he had looked to as his younger sister. It had been a while since he had felt like this. Clay clenched his fists together taking a deeper breath in and didn't even dare to turn around looking at her. A part of him wanted had debated with himself whether or not to delete his own memories about all the things that hurt him, but it would be too easy - and no one could cheat pain, it would find you no matter what.

She curled together in a ball in the bed. Sobbing like a little girl as the memories kept overwhelming her. The torture in Iraq, the man that kept entering her private space even though she didn’t want to. But had no strength to push him off her. She felt how her powers pulsated around her as she couldn’t keep it in check. Overwhelmed with grief and pain. The door pushed open as Nia came in. “My god Clay, what happened!?” she asked, looking towards the crying woman in the bed. She rushed over to grab her hand making sure she wasn’t doing any damage of herself. “It’s okay, Josephine, Josephine, look at me, it’s okay” she whispered, letting her fingers glide over the older woman’s forehead. It seemed to calm her down as she pushed her ability over her, letting her enter a place where she could be at peace, fall asleep gently without any pain or grief. She looked towards her friend and knitted her brows together. “Clay?” she asked, seeing his clenched fists. “What is going on?” she asked gently. Knowing they hadn’t really talked after they had ended the fake relationship they were doing. But that didn’t mean she didn’t care, nor wanted to know how he was doing.

It was hard to push her completely out of his head, and it ached almost threatening to explode if he didn't got out of here, but his legs were almost trapped to the floor - he felt unable to move. Clay was so focused on holding himself in check that he didn't even notice that Nia had entered the room.  Clay, he heard her name like an echo in the back of his head, back where he tried to push the pulsing sound of his former wife 's heart away. He could feel his claws digging into his palms to make him snap out of the emotional pain that rushed over him. "I need to get out of here," he finally managed to say, his voice way weaker than it used to be. "Now, before I snap -" he moved his eyes to Nia. She was a vampire she understood the hunger yes, but mixing it with the werewolf's temper - it was all fun and games till someone got hurt and Clay had no interest in hurting anyone, but he also wasn't able to control himself if he stayed in the same room as Birdie. So, he stormed out, down the hall and into one of the storage rooms, luckily there was no one in there, so he didn't feel as guilty as his explosion of emotions were taken out on one of the shelves, throwing his closed fist at the iron, making it bend, not caring for the damage it did to his hand, so he punched it again making the boxes with supplies fall to the floor, making a mess. He could feel the hunger rush over him as he stopped and let himself fall against the wall behind him.

Nia didn’t even manage to tell him to wait before he was out of the room. She looked at the woman in the bed, and started to hook her up to the different machines making sure that everything was in order. Called in a nurse to make sure that Josephine got the best care that she could get. Then she quickly walked down to the blood bank and checked out to bags of human blood. She put it in her doctor jacket’s pockets and quickly caught unto his scent in one of the storage units. She didn’t even knock nor as if it was okay if she came in. She just saw how he was sitting pressed up against the wall. A soft smile spread over her lips, trying to calm him before she stepped towards him. Squatting down she handed him the two bags of blood and sat down beside him. Waiting for him to feed as he needed to. She didn’t say anything at first, just sat there with him and looked at the door that she had now locked.

“Want to tell me about it?” she asked, not looking at him yet just stared straight ahead in the darken room.