I keep finding myself in these positions [cw]

Again, he didn’t know. Her heart sank, because she was sure he was about to tell her that she wasn’t like a friend. She was something less than that. But then he caught her off guard. Makes me feel at home. For a moment she forgot to breathe because she didn’t understand at first. What did that mean? Did he even know himself what it meant? She wasn’t sure but took a deep breath in waiting for him to elaborate on what he felt home was to him.

When he was done, she noticed how they where still standing in the same position they had been standing in before. She let go of his hand and placed it on the side of his face instead. Her eyes searching his, trying to make sense of all the emotions she was feeling and how much he was suddenly giving her. Now she wasn’t about to do something that wasn’t allowed. So; “would you mind if I kissed you?” she asked silently under her breath.

She repositioned her hand to his cheek and his eyes sought to hers, somehow feeling how the tension was getting thicker and thicker. Time slowed down and it was just them in the big dance room. Would you mind if I kissed you?

“No, I wouldn’t mind,” he replied softly with a gentle smile appearing on his lips. If anyone else had said that to him, he would have had a stoic face. But she was different. He leaned closer to her to allow her to kiss him. As their lips found each other it was like the warmth crawled around the outer shell of him, making him seem and look way more lovingly that he might be. Both of his hands found their way around her waist. He was careful to not go too fast, but he wanted to pull her closer.

She felt how it tingled in her fingers almost making her lightheaded as he told her that he wouldn’t mind. The only reason why she hadn’t just gone for it, had been how Aria had done it not so long ago. As he leaned closer, she let her lips meet his. The feeling that formed in her stomach, gripping it tight. Her heart skipped a couple of beats, was nothing like the kiss they had shared at the event.

It was clear that everything was very sweet and distant at first. As if she needed to feel her way forward, not doing too much at once. Making sure this was actually something she wanted. Because she had a feeling that she wouldn’t be the only one with a fragile heart when it came down to it. If she left him now, the consequences would be greater than she might even realize. But as her hands found her hips, clearly wanting to pull her closer, she couldn’t resist him any longer. Her hand glided from his cheek into his hair, her other hand finding his neck leaning into the kiss. Picking up the intensity, for once letting herself follow the stream of emotions were taking her. Passion, and longing colliding between their lips.

It went slow, gentle and appropriate at first, but it seemed like as soon as his hands found her hips that it switched a button in her. She leaned further into the kiss. She was passionate, intense, and longing. It was overwhelming and he could have sworn that if his heart had been beating, it would have skipped more than a couple of beats in surprise of her passion. His hands slowly slid up to her ribcage and he slowly pulled away. It felt like too much. He certainly couldn’t contain the love she wanted to give him. She wished for more romance and passion than he was ready to control and redirect.
Their lips parted, and it was like every flame in him simmered down. He hadn’t even noticed just about how warm all of his body had felt. He felt cold and empty. They only shared a breath before he made up his mind. Ace leaned in for another kiss. He wished to feel home and warm. Safe in her arms. This kiss was approximately just as passionate and warm as the kiss she had turned up for. One hand glided up between her shoulder blades and the other around her waist pulling her closer.

Something broke, like a small chip was flung off an already shattered heart, as his hands found her ribcage and pushed her back. Pulling himself away in the process. She had gone too far, and he didn’t want what ever it was she had offered him.

But she didn’t get to do much more than feel that pain spread through her body, as a surprised gasp left her as he pulled her back in. Another kiss just as passionate as the one she had made their former kiss. But this time she was confused as he had probably been. At first, she followed him, mostly because she didn’t know what else to do at this moment. Trying to figure out what all of this meant. He had just pushed her back, clearly not wanting it. And now all this?

This time it was Hope that pushed him back. “Stop” she whispered opening her eyes taking him in. “Don’t” her tongue licked her lips, feeling how they were slightly swollen and hot after their kisses.  “You don’t need to do any of this if you feel its to much” she tried to press down the horrible feeling taking place in her body. Slowly withering away. Feeling how her body slowly became colder, maybe asking him for a kiss had been a horrible idea. This was a horrible idea. What if he would always end up being overwhelmed because she was too pushy? It wasn’t even because she took it personally, he hadn’t promised her anything. It was her own heart and mind letting her down, and she hated it.

She pushed him back, and he already knew where things were going before she had said anything. He had seen this film before. It wasn’t a good film, nor pleasant to watch. The passionate feeling was being packed away instantly and with a fine bow on top. Don’t. He felt how the warmth that had been surrounding him got smaller and smaller, even though she still seemed excited for all of it. She told him that he didn’t have to do any of it if it felt too much. She knew exactly was going on behind the pretty forehead of his, because it had been too much and he had just suppressed it and told himself that, no, this was just right. He let his hands glide from their positions to her hips, caressing her a bit on the way and looked down thinking for a moment. He looked back up at her. “You took me by surprise,” he explained tightening his grip a little by her hips. “I don’t know everything, but I think I had just expected you to take things slower,” he explained. It almost felt like his body tried alone to turn on the bonfire that she had lit in him, but love was a dance for two and they didn’t get anywhere without her. “It’s not like I feel it’s too much,” a little white lie, “But, I don’t know if you remember how many years it’s been since I’ve been-” he looked down between them for a moment, “Close to anyone,” he exhaled. The fact that Aria had doubled the years, and said it had been more eight thousand years ago since she had seen him that close to a woman, was a little miscalculation. But the message had been received. It had been about three or four thousand years ago since he had last been close to a woman who wasn’t related to him or a business partner. His eyes studied hers for a short moment. Frowning shortly by thinking of his own words; “I want to,” he said and  let his hands slide from her hips to her lower back.

She took solace in the fact that he didn’t push her away, nor loosen his grip. Almost as to tell her that even though she told him that he didn’t need to push himself, he still wanted her close. But it still hurt, and she was sure that with every step closer to the flame or further away would be filled with emotions that she would rather be without.

So, she listened to what he told her. A small smile formed on her lips as he told her that it didn’t feel like to much. She knew that wasn’t true but didn’t comment on it. Waited for him to finish what it was he wanted to convey. A long time since he had been intimate, with anyone. Well, she couldn’t say the same. But those had all been purely sexual. Nothing behind those relationships had been more than a night. So in that sense she could understand why he had been surprised, and how it could be overwhelming if Aria had spoken the truth and he had kept to himself for so many years.

I want to

A slow nod made her head move before her hands glided caringly up her neck finding their place just under his jaw. “Then we just take things slow” she whispered leaning into a kiss again. This time she didn’t press him. Let him control just how much he wanted, while she tried to figure out her own feelings in all of this. But one thing was sure, he awoke things in her she had been sure never would resurface in her cold and broken heart.

He smiled caringly as she agreed to take things slow and almost like a synergy, they both leaned in for another kiss. It set fire to everything again. Almost as if the first fire was just coating everything in gasoline. The fire was quick to spread to where it had been just a moment ago. She didn’t pressure him, but she simply followed him as he increased the intensity and passion. Almost like the dance just a moment before; she knew how to follow his lead and if they made mistakes, it was going to be alright, and they would figure out how to get back on track and take the right steps again. She had already lit a whole lot in him, and it seemed like the passion he had received was something he had adapted to, and he moved all the way to the same passion just before they had ended the kiss every time. He pulled her as close as possible before he let their lips part ways and he slowly started to kiss her above her jaw until he reached the little space between her jaw and ear. He let his kisses travel down her neck ever so lovingly but as he got closer to her shoulder, he took a bigger breath in.


He removed his lips from her skin and let his forehead rest upon her shoulder. “Give me a moment,” he mumbled softly. He tried to focus on something else, but since there was nothing else than music to tap into, he could only think about that or how her heart was beating, her smell and…
He took his forehead away and looked up at her. “I'll be right back,” he said before he gave her a small peck on the corner of her mouth. And as if it was out of thin air, he disappeared, running downstairs into his storage. He had multiple different blood bags but found one with a human as a tag. They would make him full for the longest. With no hesitation he put the things up to his mouth and bit a whole in the bag to access the blood which spilled into his mouth. It was soothing his throat as if it had been itching before. With a sigh he emptied it and looked down himself to check whether or not he had spilled. Not a droplet. Left on his body nor face. With a greater sigh he threw the into a trashcan in the storage room before he took a deeper breath in and walked back up to her. “Sorry,” he exhaled. After all, pureblood vampires felt a constant hunger for blood and he had to know his own boundaries for this whole thing so he wouldn’t end up killing her, like he had almost done yesterday.

This time she made sure not to take the lead in any way. She followed his move, just like before. Her eyes closed feeling very sensation that he was giving her. How his kisses started melting her frozen heart making it beat more heavily in her chest. Where she had been so good at slowing it down while they had been together, not really letting him know what she was feeling. But now? Now he was getting everything from her, and she was a little afraid just how overwhelming it would be for him.

But he didn’t seem to slow down, instead he pulled her even closer, letting their lip’s part so she could breathe in air and let his own lips meet the skin between jaw and ear. A small sigh left her, and her hand found the back of his head. Letting her fingers glide into the thick brown hair. As he travelled down her neck and got down to her shoulder, she had to bite down her lip to keep noises to herself. He woke so many emotions and reactions from her body that she wasn’t sure she had ever felt before.

As he suddenly removed his lips, she could feel how it instantly was attack by the cold air around them. Give me a moment. She understood quickly what that meant, she had only fed yesterday, of course this would provoke his hunger. She hadn’t even thought of that. “Of course,” she said with a smile as he told her that he would be right back. As he disappeared her arms folded around herself a small sigh left her not knowing what to do with herself. Her blue eyes looked around the room, and she decided to walk over to where the stereo was placed. She scanned the cd’s before she sat down on the ground looking at some of them, a soft smile formed on her lips. Some where new others were older. Funny how music could reunite people in a way that couldn’t really be explained.

It didn’t seem like she heard him as he walked  upstairs to her. But he didn’t mind. He caught her while she looked at CD’s and he smiled a little. He approached her quietly. “Finding something interesting?” he wondered and placed himself next to her, looking down at the CD’s she looked at. “I don’t really use the first floor that much,” he informed and looked at the length of the floor before he looked back at her. He basically told her that he didn’t dance that often up here, but of course, it was difficult to dance with a partner when you didn’t have a partner. He stretched an arm down to her. God, he had gotten soft for her, or maybe it was just the fact that she made him feel so home.

Even though his voice took her by surprise it didn’t show in her how her body moved. Only as light chance of heart rhythm. “Finding a lot of good music actually” she hummed letting her eyes travel from the cd in her hand towards him instead. As he told her that he didn’t really use the first floor all that much, she looked around and a soft smile formed on her lips. “A shame really” she said and let her tongue glide over the inside of her lip before she returned to her hands and placed the cd’s she had taken out back in their spot.

“I really like you have something like this, making you calm” she explained and looked towards him as she placed the last cd in its place. She moved around her hands on both side of his hips as she leaned in placing a soft kiss against his cheek. “Did it help with the blood?” she asked, truly not caring about the fact that he needed to leave because it had become dangerous for him to stay that close to her without drinking some blood. Not that was a lie, she did care. She was happy that he had so much control and had been so calm about pulling away telling her that he needed to go. That only made her feel so much safer around him, even though he yesterday almost had drained her from blood. But to be fair, that had been her own fault.

Ace nodded a bit as she complimented his music taste to dance to. A small smile even appeared on his lips. He shrugged a little as she said it was a shame that it wasn’t used that often. He agreed, but he rarely wanted to dance alone. He would much rather have someone to accompany him. His eyes studied her – and he might just have found a person who would be very happy to accompany him with dancing. Some days, besides that he didn’t want to dance alone, he was just too busy at work to make time for dancing in the evening or morning. His eyes followed her hands as she put the CD’s back to their rightful spot.

He tilted his head a bit to the right as she continued to compliment the things he had. A place to calm him down. “Yeah, well, the money has to be spent on something, so why not something I should love to use?” he said not really knowing what to reply. He could’ve gotten a swimming pool, sauna, a private gym downstairs or something completely different – but he had chosen a dancing room, even though it most often only existed to be an empty room which he never visited. Whenever he went up here alone, it was just as cold as his own body and heart. But having her up here warmed everything up. It was pleasant to be here – in his own home. What did it mean? Well, he didn’t know.

She moved closer and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, exactly reminding him of what the feeling meant. It was something he hadn’t been looking for so, so many years. He split his lips slowly. His lips were slightly redder than before from drinking the blood. “It did,” he said pulling on a very little smile. For a man who was always alone, he never really talked about how it felt after he had been drinking blood, but he did feel like a new and fresh man. His eyes went from her eyes down between them before he slowly reached out for her hands. For a moment he felt like a young boy who didn’t know what his next move should be. “Would you mind dancing again?” He looked up into her eyes, his smile being spare. He slowly lifted her arms to invite her to dance with him again. They should be picking up from where they left from, right?

It was insane just how he could make her feel by a look. It scared the living hell out of her, especially after she had been so cold after seeing her family again. After finding out that her mother couldn’t remember that she was her mother. Now all this with Ace, she took a deep breath getting her heartbeat under control, knowing very well that the vampire standing in front of her, knew every beat and every breath coming from her, and what it meant. Just what he did to her.

Mind dancing with me again?

A smile that matched his formed on her lips, she nodded slowly. “That would be lovely” she said in a low voice. Letting herself glide into the same position as they had been dancing before. Following him to the beat of the music. After a time, she closed her eyes letting him lead her around. Maybe she was just running on steams now, taking the blood back off her arm. All that had happened. But she didn’t say anything. Maybe the timing just hadn’t been on their side. Maybe, maybe this was just a very dangerous mistake. Stupid, stupid heart. Always getting her into problems. Always.

The smile grew a little crooked as she replied that it would be lovely to continue where they had left. They were quite quick to find the position they had been in just a moment ago. Standing so close and he leading her. He watched how she closer her eyes almost as if she trusted his every move. It was something of a test of trust in his eyes.

As they continued to dance, he pulled her closer, slowly. He felt somewhat funny, because he hadn’t felt the attraction he felt right now before, or at least in a long time. It was so very weird, and he didn’t really know what to do with it. But he wished to know where it would lead him – and her. What was this going to be for them?
He could almost feel a tingle in his lips and shortly pressed his lips together hoping it would stop, but it only intensified. So, instead of dealing with the feeling by himself, he carefully leaned his head closer to hers, until their noses were next to each other, and their lips had so little space from each other. He knew that he had explained that he needed things to go slow, but he also theorized that as soon as things were getting heated, it would almost be like the small fire would turn into a bonfire and continue to grow until it turned into an inferno or something alike. He almost didn’t want to start too well, because he was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. And that scared him.

She tried not to think too much about what had been going on between them before he had lost his cool and needed to leave. She was afraid that if she did, her mind would lead her places that she couldn’t stop it from turning too, if she just let it. But she wasn’t blind to the tension building between them, nor how even with her eyes closed she could feel it. Breathing slowly against the almost dead fire inside of her she had sworn never to reignite. The pull of emotions that formed in her stomach, almost making it drop in the most wonderful way as she felt how he leaned in closer. It might even make it more drawing that he didn’t even kiss her. Just let his lips hover so closer without taking the leap. Her eyes slowly opened, looking into his trying to figure out what it was that he wanted. She breathed in, kept dancing not being the one to press on. He had asked to take things slow. Besides, she was afraid that when he had gone away to eat the blood that he needed the feelings had simmered down. That given they were in the same moment anymore; he could contain whatever brief moment that had been between them. It was a dangerous game that they kept playing. Ignite the fire, to douse it in water. But never really extinguish the burning coals left behind. “Ace?” she breathed, letting her eyes drift down his nose, before the returned to his eyes.

She said his name, and it was like he had been swimming, lost in the sea and suddenly was pulled up by someone in a lifeboat. He slowed the dance down a little, almost as if he had been woken up from a trace. “Yes?” he spoke almost breathlessly. His eyes looked up towards her eyes and he pulled a little away to see her as clear as possible. He could see her eyes so clearly and it felt like they were drawing him in again. Comforting him and telling him it was alright. He could feel how his shoulders sank even further, haven’t even noticed they had lifted themselves in tension.

It felt like electricity filled all of his body. Shocking his whole nervous system. It felt like strong magnets pulled them closer again. This time, he listened to whatever his body told him, and simply wished that he would be able to stop himself before anything would cross a boundary for either of them. As his lips met with hers, he slowed the dance all the way down to a stop. His hands even removed themselves from the dancing position and started to wrap them around her body. Caring a massive amount of tension with them. He made sure he was gentle to her fragile body, not wishing to accidentally hurt her in the process. He pulled her closer, with one hand by her lower back and another gliding from her upper back, towards her neck and hair. It felt like thousands of small, sweet explosions spread in his body. It was a feeling he hadn’t felt in so, so long. He longed for the sweetness that had been taken away from him so many years ago.

As he pulled away, she was first afraid she had done something that would make him stop the whole thing. Tell her to go down and get some sleep again. Even though dancing was the only thing they had done, it had felt like flowing on air. Feeling safe in arms of another, a feeling she hadn’t let herself feel for such a long time. The seconds from him saying yes, to pulling back and looking at her. To finally letting his lips met hers, it had felt like time had been on pause. But as soon as their lips melted together, it was like the whole world opened for her. Maybe it was just that small piece of her heart and mind that she had put away. Why was it so easy for him to unlock it?

Her hands found their way behind his neck, pulling him closer small sighs left her as she let herself completely be infatuated by him. When she needed to come back for air, she pressed her forehead against his, still with her eyes closed. “A dangerous game” she whispered slowly, trying to keep herself contained and not – she couldn’t help herself, she pressed her lips against his once again, feeling how passion drew her further than she had ever ventured before.

He sensed the insecurity as he pulled away. It wasn’t anything overwhelming, but it had been there before when he had pulled away because he had thought it had gone too fast. But their lips melted together with soft passion, and she pulled him closer. The small sighs that left her was almost calming anything in him that told him to hold back. This was okay. She put her forehead against his, and he could feel how her breathing was heavier and warmer. He should be cautious that he didn’t forget to let her breath. A dangerous game. He pulled a hesitant smile. “Very dangerous,” he replied. She pressed her lips against his once again and even though they stood completely close by now, he wanted to be even closer with her. So he let his hand on her lower back slowly slide down from her back until it reached the edge of the blouse she was wearing, and carefully he moved his hand underneath it and back up her back. If he got far enough to let his cold hands reach her skin, he would gasp and intensify the kiss.

She couldn’t help but smile as he whispered back that it was dangerous, before letting her kiss him again. She wanted nothing more than to just give everything of her to him, but how did you even do that? And was she not so damaged that she wouldn’t be able to. But as his hands started to wander, all those thoughts quickly left her. She herself gasped letting the kiss become even more passionate. She wanted nothing more to hit the breaks for his shake, he had told her it had been too much last time. But all the things he did to her, it wasn’t fair. She couldn’t even think straight anymore. Her hands glided down his body, finding ways to pull him closer. Maybe she was a little rustier than she thought, but it wasn’t fair. He really was messing with her head.

She pulled away, gasping after air. She looked towards him licking her lips “You want, to... maybe, move this downstairs?” she asked, not really knowing if that was even right thing to do. But the floor didn’t seem so, comfortable – oh he was just turning her around in ways that was hard to keep up with.

Too much, too fast, not ready, unsure, and wrong were all the things that he would feel if he let himself get out of the trance that he was getting into every time their kisses got intense enough. But as of right now every bad thought were pushed all the way to the back of his head. She too even pulled him closer.  It couldn’t be that wrong could it then?

He let her pull away for air once again, believing they could soon pick up from where she left, but she had a suggestion. Downstairs. He caught himself taking a deeper breath in, even though he didn’t need to. It was like the bad thoughts were peeking up, because he was being pulled out of the trance, he felt like he had been in. “Sounds like you’re planning on more than just sleeping in my bed,” he said taking his time with a soft smile followed by him licking his lips. “But downstairs sounds good,” he exhaled.

She had a humorous voice as she protested. It made him frown a bit, but in a good manner. Joining the joke. He hadn’t heard her present such a voice before. Her hand glided over his cheek, and he pulled a soft smile. Just sleep then. He could almost feel how the angel on one of his shoulders thanked God, and the devil on the other shoulder told him to change her mind or convince her that he had been thinking about activities in his bedroom which didn’t include sleeping. She took his hand and he simply followed downstairs. Even though it hadn’t been that long time ago since she had gotten up from bed, he didn’t mind going to bed with her, and as they reached the bedroom, he let go of her and with the intention of dressing himself down, but as his hands reached to the lining of his shirt, he changed his mind. He turned around and walked all the wat over to her. If she stood with her back towards him, he would gently turn her around with the request: “Let me,” he would almost whisper. If she allowed him, he would lean closer to give her a gentle kiss, while his hands found the lining of her shirt so he could start to pull it over her head.

She could feel the exhausting wash over her as they walked down the stairs. Maybe she had been foolish to rip that blood bag out of her arm. Well okay, it had been stupid in the first place. But she only felt the effects of it now. As they found themselves in the bedroom, she looked at the bed, and then let her eyes drift towards him. Should she say something, do something? Then her eyes travelled back to the bed, and she was just about to glide into the soft bed, when she felt his presents behind her. As he turned her around, she did so without objecting. Her eyes finding his trying to understand what he wanted. Let me. She would lie if those words didn’t take her breath away. A small sigh left her, as his lips found hers again. She raised her arms and pulled away for him to get the t-shirt off her. Well, now she didn’t mind that she had only been in the t-shirt through all of what had happened, meant less clothes to get off her. She pulled back so they could get the fabric of her. But as soon as the t-shirt had left her body, she pressed herself towards him letting her arm glide around his shoulder and other hand found its way into his hair. While her lips kissed him with the same passion as she had done while they had been upstairs.

She was easy to undress now that she hadn’t been wearing that much. She even raised her arms for him, so it would get even easier. As he already knew, she was easy to work with. This was another situation, but it simply seemed to go both ways. He himself hadn’t been wearing a shirt all of this time, and it wouldn’t take much to get himself undressed.
As soon as the fabric had left her skin, he was about to throw it on the nearest stool, but before he could do that, she wrapped an arm around his shoulder and a hand went into his hair. The shirt ended up on the floor instead. He was slightly overwhelmed by how passionate she had gone and leaned back in slight surprise – but he didn’t pull away. He then leaned forward and closer to her, with his hands finding their way around her to support her. He allowed himself to bite her lip gently. It almost immediately fired him up and he cleaned so close to her in the kiss that she would have to sit down on the bed. But he didn’t stop there. One hand found its way to her hip, and he started to lean further forward, pressing her down to the mattress. The other hand found its way to the side of her ribcage, quite close to her chest.

She didn’t even noticed how surprised he became, nor that he leaned back. She just followed as he didn’t pull her lips away from hers. Intoxicating. That was the only word that she could find for him that really fit. She knew that there were people out there that found those words every time they were with someone. But Ace, to her?
There was a reason why she was behaving like she was right now. Letting go of her normal control, something she would never give up for anyone. And yet, here she was, being pushed down and into the bed. He was driving her crazy with holding his fingers so close to where she wanted them, and yet not really touching the area. He had to be doing it on purpose. A soft impatient groan left her, as her legs folded around his waist pulling him closer to her. Her fingers gliding out of his hair down of his throat.