A rouge life [CW]

She quickly let go; “Oh shit, sorry” she whispered swallowing as she took in a deep breath. But she didn’t move away, her hands finding his upper arms still wanting to be close. Making sure that it wouldn’t disappear, and she would look over and he would be lying in the pool of blood that was still there.

“You’re sure?” she asked licking her lips clearly still worried, or more scared over the fact that this could all just be her brain trying to cope through what had happened last night. She had to apologize, nothing of this would happen if it wasn’t because of her stupid comments about him. Pushing him and hitting all of the right buttons to trigger his wolf. “I’m sorry” she finally got out looking into his blue eyes. She made a small nod “I, I shouldn’t have said those things to you, and its my fault you even ended up” she looked back at the blood. She remembered how warm it had felt as the blood had splashed against her face. How the woman had just done it, no mercy no hesitation. Would she had done it to her, if she had turned too?

It was clear she was frozen again, reliving what had happened the day before. One of the many curses of never forgetting what you lived through. She remembered everything.

She liked how he didn’t let her get away with shit. How he called her out, but right now wasn’t mocking about it or lecture her. But the scenario from last night was still going on like a film never ending in her head. His hand that placed itself on her face forcing her eyes away from the spot towards him again made her draw in a breath. The voices and images died out as her eyes focus on his eyes instead. Noticed how the green and blue blended together, how his pupil was slightly dilated. “It’s hard not to” she whispered softly as she moistened her lips, they felt dry, and she could taste both blood and salt on them. “You shouldn’t be, not when you already have lost so much” she spoke quite honestly, as she let him pull her close again. Her head found its way down on his chest feeling the heartbeat against her ear. She breathed out and closed her eyes.

“You still don’t scare me” she spoke so softly she wasn’t even sure if he could hear it “And I know you should, I know that you could have killed me yesterday, but I” she felt goosebumps form over her body as she thought about it again. “I still can’t see you as I’m supposed to, maybe I truly am broken if I can’t see that I should run, but all I want to do is stay” she swallowed and pulled away so she could look at him again. Covered in blood, almost naked as he stood there in front of her. Her own blouse covered in blood from her own wounds after he had pierced his nails down her shoulders to keep her down.

“Tell me to go, but say it so you mean it, and I’ll walk out, and I’ll never bother you again” she knew this night would follow her around, a new scar in her already broken soul and heart. But this time, she would do as he told her too. “But if you don’t, I’ll stay even if it could cost me my life”

She was still struck with how comfortable she had felt in his arms. How her entire being was drawn to this rouge. The beast, the monster and animal. But she couldn’t help it, and that was why she had asked him to make this ultimatum before it came to the same as yesterday where she would deny him the freedom of her to leave. She would fight tooth and nail for him to understand that she would like to stay and be the one that would never leave.

But she couldn’t, could she? She looked at him as it was very clear that he didn’t know what to say. But she was ready for him to tell her to leave. She understood why, after yesterday she was very aware that it wasn’t the fact that he wanted to kill her. But him being afraid because he knew he would. He had gotten so close yesterday.

You should leave. He meant it, but he didn’t want to. But she had asked him to say it as if he meant it. A small nod formed on her head, for a moment she had hoped that he might just let her find a way under his ironclad skin. But it had been too much to hope for. “Okay” she whispered and walked over to her bag and pulled it up. She took out her wallet and pulled out the rest of the cash she had from yesterday. Being a pretty woman had its perks in town. She placed it on the table “Just, so you have money to get better food than tuna cans” she placed her fingers around the strap and hugged it tight before she moved towards him.

A sad smile formed on her lips as she let her hand find his jaw her eyes glided over his face. “You can stay a couple of days, but you might want to find another place to stay so my pack doesn’t find you” she warned him before she leaned towards him placing a soft kiss towards his lips. If he would let her, before she started walking towards the door. “Please take care of yourself Neil" she exhaled "goodbye”

To be fair she didn’t care if he bought food or opiates. He could do with the money as he pleased, she had given it to him. Now he could do with it what he pleased. Wasn’t like they were going to see each other again now that he had made the choice for her to leave. That was the promise, if he told her to leave, she would do so and not come back. As he had wanted yesterday.

The kiss, however, how brief. Still left a burning sensation as she was about to open the door and walk out. So, she hadn’t even registered that he moved towards her and placed a grip around her wrist to pull her back. A small gasp left her, but she didn’t fight back only looked a little chocked as he titled her head. Her eyelids glided down as soon as his lips found hers. She felt the pull in her stomach right away. Her hands found the shoulder strap and let her bag fall down to the ground. Her arms glided around his neck and let herself completely forget that he was still healing as her lips pressed passionately against his. She didn’t know kisses could feel like this. Like her whole body was on fire.

When she had to breathe, she pulled away. “I thought you wanted me to go” she breathed and opened her eyes so she could see his face. “Because now you just made sure that I'm not going anywhere”

She happily returned the small kiss. But his words were what lit a fire under her skin. I never wanted you to leave. She knew it, but somehow him saying it was more than enough to convince her she had been right from the start. Fate was playing a role in this. And even though people around her would never understand why she would feel this attracted or drawn to a rouge. She didn’t care. No one could convince her that she had to stay away. Not even him.

As his hands travelled down her sides to place themselves on her hips, she let her fingers glide up his neck and into his hair. She didn’t care that they were both dirty and his hair somewhat sticky with blood. Rose was just careful that she didn’t pull in it so it would hurt him. Her left hand glided back down the side of his neck down his shoulder, until it closed around his bicep. A moan left her as he started to kiss her down her throat. Heat pulling through her body as he started whispering against her skin, almost making her forget to listen to the words that he was telling her. Stay away when the full moon came tomorrow. “I promise” she whispered back “that I can do, as long as I can come back after that” she mumbled kissing him again pulling him even closer as her fingers started to explore his naked body.

Det was almost like she was floating, while her brain was shutting down in several places and only bringing forth the primal part. The one that craved the touch that he was giving her. Her ultimate love language. Touch, and being touched. And everything he did was intoxicating, mostly because after she had discovered sex, it had been something that had been hard for her to place on the shelf. Which might also have been one of the reasons she the last couple of years hadn’t been without a boyfriend or fling for long. Also, another motivation why she had been out on a Sunday. Finding something that could numb her pain, like the way he was numbing it right now. Filling her body with sparks of electricity.

“It’s more than okay” she breathed out with heavy breaths as he asked if it was okay. A soft smile formed on her lips, as her fingertips featherlike glided over his cheek. Feeling the small uneven spots there was, smearing the blood a little out as it still wasn’t fully dried. She didn’t really want them to stop, but she came to the same conclusion that they might want to get cleaned up before taking it further. “There is a small stream around back, its cold, but it will do the trick, if we want to get cleaned?” she asked licking her lips letting both her hands glide down to his shoulders and let them settle on each side of his arms.

He kept kissing her after she had asked if they should go cleaned up. His slender fingers, with slight rough skin glided over her silky pale olive skin. Made her have a very hard time even focusing on why they should go clean up anyways. That could wait, everything else could wait except him. Even though she could feel the urgency in his kiss, he was so respectful with how his fingers wandered over his skin. It was almost frustrating because she wanted him so bad.

A soft giggle left her as he asked her if, she was sure. “No” she finally got out and let her big eyes find his face well, not about getting washed up anyway. Even though he really needed a bath, more than she did. The last piece of reason was left at the door as she pulled him even closer before she started walking towards the sofa behind him. She pushed him down in it. A smile formed on her lips as she let the skirt fall down to the ground, she stepped out of it. Realizing she had been so out of it when she had walked out that she hadn’t even put on her shoes. Then she pulled of the ripped shirt. Almost tantalizing slow, wanting him to admire her curvy toned body. Carefully she stepped back towards him letting her sink down on his lap with his knees place on each side of his body. Her fingers glided over her arms again. Following along with the thick blood that was still on his skin. Reminding her for a second how scared she had been when she had thought she had lost him. With that though she leaned down and pressed her lips passionately towards his. Wanting to show him she was sure, and really meant it. As her lips found his, it was like hot and cold washed over her body at once. Leaving an extreme sensations over her body, that ever touch and kiss left her breathlessly moaning towards his mouth. "I want you" she breathed as she finally pulled away, letting her eyes once again find his.

Again, was it like small explosions happened as his fingers glided over her warm skin. It was otherwise hard to express what it was he was doing to her. She had once heard some of the members in the pack talk about how wolves had mates, much like witches. The only difference being that when their mates died, they had to live with knowing that they would have to live the rest of their life without their chosen mate, their soulmate because they would never find or chose a new one. She had always found it to be an old wives’ tale. But the more time she spend with him, the more she thought her wolve might had chosen him. It both made sense and scared her. But there was one thing that he was right about, no one would accept him. That meaning they might not accept her choosing him.

Those thoughts were all pushed down as she felt how he ripped her bra open and got it off her. She moved her arms, so it was easier for him to get the fabric off her. Her eyes simmered in a golden brown as he told her to take what she wanted. Then a gasp left her as his hands found her breast and for a moment, she could do nothing but lean her head back and let a soft moan leave her mouth. Her eyes closed as she felt the sensation spread through her body like wildfire, begging to be exhausted by him.

She moved her head back towards him to let her lips kiss him behind his ear and slowly down her neck, as her hands wandered down his body towards his ripped pants gaining access to the thing she wanted right now. With adapt fingers she removed the last piece of obstacle between her and his member. Her fingers slowly closed around as her lips found their way back to his lips.

At this point nothing could stop her or making her think twice. She was so pulled under the wool of pleasure, that she could barely make sense of it. Which was quite the feat for someone that knew and remember everything she had heard and learned the past fifteen years of her life. But he just did something to her that the others hadn’t done. And even though he did that, and his own hands found their way down her body and moved around to her private parts. She couldn’t help letting her mind wonder if he really wanted this. With her.

She knew that he was vulnerable. She had seen it yesterday, moments before he had turned and lost control to his wolf. So, was she taken advantage of him? Another moan left her as his fingers explored her entrance and then warmth. A small oh god left her as she breathed into his ear, letting him know just how much she loved it.

Finally, she got a grip around her thoughts. Letting her lips move towards his, breathing heavily against them. “you’re sure you want this?” she asked, knowing that normally it would be the boy asking the girl. Just as he had done just a little earlier. But she just wanted to make absolutely sure, that he really wanted it, and it wasn’t just some aftermath of everything that had happened.

She knew she had done something wrong as soon as she heard his words. How he pulled back and let his hands find her thigh instead. “What? No” she whispered pressing her brows together. Licking her lips. She understood why he thought that. She just wanted to make sure that, he wasn’t caught up in the feeling of her being there. She swallowed the lump in her throat and closed her eyes for a moment recollecting herself as she could feel how coldness washed over her so fast even though their skin was still connected in other areas. Her hand left his member to grab both his hands, her hazel eyes looking into his. “It wasn’t what I meant” she got out in a hoarse voice. “I just, I don’t want to take advantage of you, I want you to know, I really” she pressed her brows together and felt how her heart started to pick up speed. Maybe it was because how they had ended up here. From him almost killing her yesterday, for him to die and then now.  Here in the couch almost naked. “Want you, all of you” she knew it might be overwhelming. But she had always been one of those types that crashed hard fast. Sometimes that could scare people away. She just didn’t want people to get scared away anymore.

All the euphoria and happiness she had felt as they had stood close. While they had kissed, and he had touched her like he wanted nothing more than her. Was gone as soon as he said the words No Rose. It was like someone plunged a knife into her heart and twisted it. How he turned it around telling her that she didn’t want all of him. His soft caress made her believe for just a brief moment that he still wanted her. “Don’t say that, please, I-“ then he shifted her wait and pull him off him. “Please don’t” she whispered trying to make him stop pushing her off his lap so he could get up. As she sat alone in the sofa, she looked up at him, it was hard for her to stop the pain that spread in her face, and she looked around feeling extremely exposed right about now.

She slowly let her gaze find back towards him as he explained why she shouldn’t want all of him. And she was afraid to say something to him, if it meant that she would trigger the same effect that she had done yesterday. Not that she feared him, but because she didn’t want to do it to him once more. “But I do” she whispered putting her arms around her body and tried to keep the loneliness at bay that washed over her so violently that she couldn’t stop her body from shaking as if she was freezing. She had so many words she wanted to say, that he still didn’t scare her. That the fact that there was something inside of him that wouldn’t think twice. She knew that, but even because of that she still wanted him. To get to know him. To learn his history and understanding what had made him who he was. But she would never be able to do that, if he didn’t give her a chance. She looked away as she felt how hot tears burned in her vision making her drop her head and look down on her naked feet as she pulled her legs towards her chest shielding her naked body while trying to stop shaking from the damn coldness she was feeling. Maybe it was the hardest of all, the rejection. That he didn't want her. "Sometimes you just meet people that can look behind the darkness and they see the light that you still carry" she turned her face back towards him pulling back her lower lip with her teeth "I just choose to see that light, and when I'm with you, even in this brief time, I've seen more good than I've seen evil"

She could hear how he walked around, picking something up and the ruffles the jacket made. Was he dressing himself? Rose took in a deep breath, trying to steady herself and the rollercoaster of emotions that she was going through. What a meeting this had been. First in the alley, then the food truck, convincing him to go with her. Almost getting killed. A hunter, witnessing him getting killed. Kissing, almost having sex. Now, coldness.

But as he put the jacket around her shoulders and softly sat down beside her. She opened her eyes once again, cheek still a little wet from some of the tears that had been spilled because she didn’t really know what to do with her emotions storming around inside of her. As his arms found its way under the jacket and placed it around her, she then let her head find Neil’s shoulder and closed her eyes as she was once close with him again. It helped, and she let out a deep breath trying to recollect herself after what had just happened.

“It’s okay” she whispered letting a soft hum leave her, as she felt how he kissed the top of her head. She then opened her eyes and angled her face so she could look up at him. “I know I come off as strong, with my opinions” she licked her lips and. Turned her body a little so she could lift her hand and let them glide over his jaw. “Then I’ll help you understand again” her hazel eyes shimmering with affection as a sad smile formed on her lips.

She understood why he was feeling like that, and she wished for nothing else than that she would be able to help him. Give him back the status of being a pureblood werewolf, and not the rouge that he was branded with. But she had never heard about anyone every getting out of the rouge status. So, at that she understood why he was so pessimistic. But it didn’t take away the hope that she could still do some good for him. “Maybe not, but I will still try” she whispered with a smile on her lips, not really taking the things he said as an insult or him trying to take away her hope. She had enough for both of them.

Again, her eyes closed as he pulled her closer letting him move her legs over his. Her arms glided around his chest a soft chuckle left her as he told her that he liked her company even though she drove him mad. “I’ll take it, I think I drive everyone a little mad sometimes, character flaw” she added and licked her lips, lifting her head a little as he readjusted his forehead against hers. Even the small touch of their noses was enough to make her body sing again.

Her eyes opened to make sure that he was okay with this. A smile formed on her lips, as if she knew by just watching his face. Then she let her lips meet his again. A small sigh left her nose as she felt how a tingly feeling started from her toes and exploded through her body. “You’re lips are addictive” she teased as she pulled away, letting her tongue glide over her lips and teeth catch her bottom lip.