Does it surprise you that I'm just as lost as I look?

All he had meant was that it had led to their meeting, not thinking of any reasons besides that. After all, it was still too soon to tell if this evening would turn out to more. “I don’t know,” he said in a low voice and paused for a pondering moment. “But I am happy you did.” A faint smile tugged at the corners of his mouth as he looked into her eyes. He enjoyed her company, so it wasn’t so strange that he’d rather spend this time with her than be alone. Besides, if things went his way, he hoped to get more intimate with her as the night progressed. For her to not wish to go home at all.

He nodded as she said that it sucked being forced not to work when you wanted to, still not quite getting why she couldn’t, or what it was that her parents tried to protect her from. He took a few more bites of the food before he leaned back in his seat, listening to her talk. It was a shame that her parents had stopped the vacations just after she was born, but as she then mentioned her interest in going to Spain or Italy, a smile appeared on his lips. One that reached his eyes as she suggested him to be her tour guide. “It would be my pleasure.” He could easily imagine them walking side-by-side on the boardwalk of Barcelona, or through Alhambra Palace in Granada. Even if it surely was innocent, wishful thinking. The thoughts made him realize just how much he missed Spain, not having been there since he left three years ago. But he wanted to, especially if he had someone to go back with. He finished his drink shortly after her before he reached for the bottle to pour them both another half-filled glass. “A beautiful woman like you? It’s hard to believe you don’t,” he said as he placed the bottle back on the table. He was sure that she’d find him someday. Her knight in shining armor. Not that Rafael considered himself any such man. Far from it.

He wanted to chuckle at the part about his pack not counting, if not just because of how sweet her laugh sounded. But family was a sensitive topic to him, so there wasn’t the slightest sign of joy in his expression. Not that he could blame her for returning his question. And for a moment he was silent, considering what he should tell her, or if he should tell her anything at all. “No... I lost my family when I was seven… vampires attacked my village and burned it to the ground. They murdered everyone I knew,” he inhaled a deep breath as the scene passed his mind, the tall flames and the red pools of blood on the ground. He was lucky to have escaped. But it had happened so long ago, that it didn't hurt him to think about nearly as much as it used to. Now there wasn't much emotion left in him except for anger and a wish to avenge their deaths. “It's okay though, I honestly don't remember many of my memories with them,” he said in an attempt to lift the melancholy that had filled the air, not wanting to ruin the laughter-filled conversation that they'd had prior to his story. “However, I hope to have a family of my own someday,” he added, having had the dream many times. To get the one thing he'd never really had.

At a pondering moment, she wondered if she had misunderstood his meaning. Then, he stated that he was happy that she ended up there. That eased her nerves a bit, assuring her that he didn’t mind her presence. The way he looked into her eyes was almost mesmerizing; dark and luring.
Then, they spoke about traveling; how her parents had traveled yet she had not experienced that herself. She mentioned going to Spain and maybe having him as a tour guide, which seemed to make him smile once more. That darned handsome smile of his. She looked down at her plate as he stated that it would be a pleasure to go with her - and by the word ‘pleasure’, she of course got a whole bunch of pictures in her head. She needed to stop thinking about that kind of stuff - especially over dinner!

As the conversation began about families, she told her part like nothing was wrong - because it wasn’t. Yet, his answer made her look rather surprised at him. Although she had heard such compliments a couple of times before, she couldn’t help but look slightly surprised as she wasn’t used to be described in that way. She had not really ventured into the dating scene in a long time, having only her high school sweetheart call her such things in a more intimate manner. Her aunt had said it when Lavender was just about turning 21, but it was clearly not meant in same way as neither her old sweetheart nor Rafael meant. Or, so she thought. “Well, believe it or not, that is the truth,” she said with a soft smile. As she then asked about his family, stating that the pack didn’t count, she was hit by a brick wall. All joy and smile had left his face, and silence was deafening between them. Then, as he explained his lack of joy, she froze. The siren just sat there, listening as he explained how he had been rendered an orphan at such a young age. She felt how her eyes glazed over, so she turned her face to look at something else for a moment. She wanted to comfort him, but for some reason she hesitated. She had never lost someone, after all. She knew nothing of that pain. As he then mentioned not having many memories to remember them by, she wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or not. “And I’m sure you will,” she finally said, after he had added how he hoped to have his own family one day. In that regard, she had yet to think about her own plans for the future. She was far too young and inexperienced at life to consider anything related to starting her own family. She turned her head once more, now looking at him once more, as she hoped her eyes had stopped warning them both that she found his story heartbreaking.
“So,” she said, before she took her glass which he had poured another portion of wine into. “What made you travel to Gaia?” She then asked; hoping to move away from the darker and more sad parts of his life. However, she knew that she was stepping in thin ice - you never know what hides in a strangers’ past. As she waited for an answer, she took a sip of her drink - albeit a larger sip than anticipated. She needed to wash down that story for sure.

As he’d told her this story, she said nothing to it. Not even a simple sorry. Instead, she looked away, making him certain that he’d only made her more uncomfortable. For a moment he regretted that he’d said anything at all. But it was a big part of who he was, so if she had any intention to see him again, she ought to know, he thought. All of his friends and pack members did. He tried to just deter the conversation, which she thankfully went along with. Although, Rafael wasn’t so sure if he ever would have a family of his own. If he would be a good father, let alone a good husband when he hadn’t even had a long-term relationship. Still, the dream was there. Even if it seemed out of reach for the time being. When she looked at him again, he noticed the look in her eyes as she’d heard his story, not seeing discomfort as much as sadness in them. And that made him feel slightly better about having opened up about it. Even though making her sad was the last thing he wanted. If anything, he longed to hear sweet laughter again.

She asked why he’d moved here. But this time, he decided not to tell her the truth, already imagining the ominousness in his tone and eyes as he told her that he’d moved here to find the vampires who’d murdered his family. “I moved here to get a fresh start, and because of the many supernatural creatures residing here. I figured it was a great way to meet more werewolves and form a new pack,” he replied with a faint smile on his lips. Being without a pack throughout his young years had driven him wild and made things more difficult, and although he still had a habit of getting into trouble, it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was back then. He raised his glass to take another sip of his wine before he placed it back on the table. “What about yourself?” he returned the question.

It wasn’t that she wasn’t sorry for his losses. It was simply that she had no idea how to handle it; how to comfort him. Her strange sense of justice was flaring up, telling her to ask about the vampires. Yet, that was none of her business, so it could very easily be considered an intrusion.
His reason for moving was quite sweet, actually. She could clearly sense the need and wish for people around him. In that way, they were similar - although she enjoyed her quiet moments as well. “And since you have a pack now, it seems to have worked out well for you,” she said, smiling softly at him. With her glass still in her hand, she shifted her focus from him to the contents of the glass as he asked about why she moved. She should have expected that question to be returned - and considering that he told her something so personal, she decided to share a bit about herself as well. “I needed to be on my own. My parents and brothers have been very protective of me my entire life,” she said, smiling softly by the thought. “I was born with a ripped wall in my heart. I technically died a couple of times during my first hours,” she said, before she looked at him.
“Anything that stressed me, excited me, saddened me... well, that was very much forbidden. Anything that caused blood to move faster, causing the rip to grow, basically.” She explained, before she looked at the glass between her fingers once more. “The rip has closed almost all the way now, so I... well, I wanted to live my life a little. My family doesn’t approve, hence why I am here and they are not,” she said, before she closed her eyes for a moment. “I wasn’t allowed to swim in open or public areas. So, I never learned to deal with those instincts that follows. I still don’t really know how to be around others in the water,” she sighed, before she opened her eyes and looked at him once more. She never really talked about that part of her life with others than those implicated in it. She didn’t care much for it, to be honest. She hated stating she had been very sick as a child, and that it still was an issue to this day. “Anyway! Tell me more about this alpha-thing. How does it work?” She asked, trying to lead the conversation away from those childhood traumas. She took another relatively big sip of her drink, waiting for him to elaborate on the alpha-situation. She knew nothing of it, after all.

“It has indeed,” he said, returning her soft smile. It had been complicated to become part of packs in the past because he’d always get in conflicts with their alpha. And due to his travels, he oftentimes couldn’t find a pack at all, which only worsened his already less than ideal situation. He took another sip of his wine as he listened to her reason for moving. It made a whole lot of sense. Why her parents had been so protective of her. The heart was a fragile thing, so it was somehow understandable, but he could also see how it would become too much. He valued freedom and independence and was very adventurous and adrenaline-seeking, so he could easily imagine how constricting it must have felt. To have been robbed of thrilling experiences because of a health condition. Although, it was of course not worth risking one’s life for. He looked into her eyes with a warm gaze as he placed the glass back on the table. “I understand,” he said. Her reason for wanting to live a little - despite it going against her family’s wishes. And she probably knew her own limits better than them, anyway. “So, you’ve never been swimming in the ocean?” he asked, wondering if she had gotten the chance to experience it since then.

He smiled briefly as she seemed curious to know more about his alpha-status. “How it works? I suppose it is as natural for my kind as it would be to any wolf in the wild… But essentially, what it means is that I am the leader of the pack, and hence that it is my job to protect the others and ensure that they’re doing well… to set the rules and break up conflicts, that sort of thing,” he explained as he pushed the last bits of food onto his fork before raising his gaze to her. “Most alphas are born to be such, but I've heard of rare cases where another werewolf has earned the status through hard work,” he added before taking the last bite of his food. There were naturally more to being the leader of a pack of werewolves, but it was the short version nonetheless.

He understood. Suddenly, she felt way more relaxed; like she could breathe without restriction. Now, someone else knew why she hadn’t experienced anything really. She had shared it, and the world wasn’t falling apart at the seams. What a relief. Still, as he asked if she had never been swimming in the ocean, she nodded softly. ‘’Once,’’ she said, considering if she should tell him what had happened. He had told her about his family’s slaughter, so why shouldn’t she tell him about her little massacre? Maybe because it was messy, bloody and really a massive turn-off! But nonetheless, if he had the slightest plan on seeing her in less clothes - or even seeing her again another time - he ought to know why she refrained from being near anyone else in the water. ‘’My brother took me swimming without my parents knew about it. He thought he knew how to handle things if I would get sick,’’ she explained. ‘’A group of teenage boys were having a good time not too far from us. My brother looked away for a moment, and suddenly I was digging in at one of the boys. He survived, thankfully, but… Well… Sirens are meant to be in the water. I just don’t trust myself enough to put anyone at risk like that again,’’ she said, before she took another sip of her wine and continued eating her dinner - although what she had just told him might have caused someone to lose their appetite.

She listened actively as he told her about what it meant to be an alpha. it sounded somewhat similar to what the monarch did in The Circle, she thought to herself. ‘’And which one are you? A born leader, or someone who climbed the ranks, so to speak?’’ she asked, now even more curious to know more about him. He seemed like a genuine and caring man - but did there hide something more beneath the surface? She had always heard that werewolves were ferocious beasts that couldn’t restrain themselves at all. However, Rafael had showed her how that wasn’t true at all, to which she was even more intrigued. It didn’t help that she was getting more and more interested in seeing a different side of him - damned be her and her curious mind.

She’d been to the ocean once. Even without much knowledge of sirens, he knew that this was very rare. He looked at her as she started to explain a story of her past, one that explained why she’d only been swimming in the ocean once. As a werewolf he knew well of the lack of control that she'd experienced. The kind where one’s instincts completely took over. But he also knew that digging into a human meant something different for a siren, and that once they got a taste of human flesh, they were driven wilder as compared to those who hadn’t. Or that was what he'd heard. He couldn't be completely sure whether it was true. He just knew some sirens mainly lived off luring humans into the water, while others kept their distance from that. The fact that she’d done it didn’t deter him. After all, he wasn’t much better himself. He had attacked people before, some of which had ended in murder. “I’m sorry to hear that happened to you… And I know what you mean. I would sometimes get these blackouts during my transformations and wake up the next morning with blood on my hands… So, I tried hard to control myself in my wolf-form to prevent that from happening in the future… I am sure you can learn to control that part of you as well,” he said as he did believe that this was possible for all creatures like theirs. But then again, he also understood that they were different in some respects and that it might be more difficult for her. Especially if she didn’t dare go out to the ocean to train in the first place.

Rafael thought that it’d been apparent he’d been born as an alpha, and he didn’t actually know of any who’d gained the status. He’d just heard that it was possible from his family. “I was born an alpha,” he replied, bringing the wine glass closer to him as he looked at the golden liquid. “I was meant to take over my father’s pack in Spain… but as you know, that never happened,” he continued before he took a large sip of the drink before he placed the glass back on the table. “Do sirens belong in groups as well? Or how does it work for your kind?” he asked as he raised his gaze to her. It was so natural for him to always seek a pack to belong to, especially since he was an alpha, so he found it interesting to hear about other ways of living.

It seemed like he understood just what she was scared of. Not only did he understand, he even compared it to his own experiences and offered to help her learn how to control that more feral side of herself. With a soft and thankful smile, she gave a single nod before she sought his eyes. ''I would like that, Rafael. I would really like that,'' she admitted. The thought of being able to be rid of the fear of going near the ocean was so tempting; to be free and able to be what she was born to be. ''But you have to let me teach you something in return then,'' she said with a crooked smile. ''Or else, the bargain isn't equal,'' she chuckled, before she took yet another sip of her wine. She had always been a lightweight when it came to alcohol, even though a couple of glasses of whine wasn't quite enough to knock her out. Her boundaries, however, seemed to be withering away ever so slowly.

As she had asked if he was born an alpha or had assumed the position later in life, he answered quite directly. ''Of course,'' she said, as he then mentioned that he had been meant to take over the pack back in Spain after his father. She couldn't help but feel a deep and growing anger for the birthright that he had been denied. Did he feel the same? He had most likely learned to deal with that a long time ago; but to Lavender, it was simply an injustice she had a hard time letting slide. The conversation then circled back to sirens, and if they lived in groups as well. ''That differs quite a lot. Feral sirens, as far as I am aware, prefer other feral sirens or solitude. The more... Civilized sirens have communities. I know of Leah Abyss, which should be a rather large siren and merfolk gathering spot. However, one of the few groups of sirens I know of that is international is The Circle,'' she said; clearly not completely up to date on her own race neither. How could she have been, she was just a siren that was never meant to meet anyone but the members of The Circle.
She took another sip of her wine, before she leaned forward and looked straight into his eyes for a moment, as if she was considering something. However, she decided that whatever she had considered wasn't relevant, so she leaned back once more with a crooked smile on her lips.

''So, are you up for a dance, mighty alpha? Or are you more of a spectator?'' she asked, as she got up from her seat, picked up her glass of wine and finished that last tiny bit of it, before she placed it back down on the table. It was no secret that she enjoyed dancing, but she was even more fond of dancing with others. There was something so intimate about dancing, even if it wasn't going to lead to anything else than those two minutes of holding hands and disciplined breathing. She was getting restless, hence her need to get on her feet and move for a bit. That, and the fact that she was tipsy enough to sway a little easier to the rhythm.

Hm? He narrowed his eyes shortly as to remember what he’d just said, but he was certain he hadn’t offered to help. He’d only meant to encourage her, at least. After all, he knew little of what it was like to be a siren, or whether controlling that urge was comparable to his own - even if he could relate to it. He looked back up at her and pulled into a smile. Agreeing with himself that they ought to do that sometime. Because how different could it be? And regardless, it was better if she practiced with someone, he thought. “I’ll keep that in mind.” he said, not quite knowing what she was hinting at, but figured that if she wanted to teach him something specific, she would have suggested it in the same sentence.

He mostly knew of sirens from hanging out at Southside and living there the first few weeks of his arrival in Gaia. He’d even met a few of the Southside Serpents. But it made sense that they were split up between the ones that were feral and those who weren’t. And it made sense for species to stick together either way. “I see.” There wasn’t much that surprised him about what she said, and he'd mostly asked to hear if she belonged to any group herself, but it didn’t seem that way.
He downed another sip of his wine when she suddenly leaned forward. His eyes automatically glanced to her lips, anticipating her to say something, but when she didn’t, he finished the rest of his drink and placed it back on the table. What? He’d almost spurted the word out, but with his mouth full of wine, he instead swallowed. He had not expected her to take an initiative like that, and he really wasn’t the best of dancers, but he couldn’t get himself to decline the offer. In fact, he grew fonder of the idea as the seconds passed. It probably also had something to do with the alcohol in his system, making him feel slightly bolder than he otherwise would when it came to dancing. “I would be honored.” His lips curled into a smile as he watched her get up from her seat. He walked into the living room where there was a larger floor space next to the seating area, expecting her to follow. He then stopped by a speaker to put on a playlist on his phone before he walked towards her and reached his hand out to her. “I think this might one of the things you could teach me in return for helping you.” It wasn’t that he didn’t have a sense of rhythm, more that he’d never actually danced much, much less with a professional. So, he hoped that she'd be willing to teach him a thing or two about it.