It is about time we talk about what happened

Nate had no chance of getting out of this. He was beginning to realize that. He just had to think fast. There had to be a way he could get out of this alive. When he was pulled further into the water and forced under water, he tried his best to keep his breath until he could get to the surface for more air. Then, the siren wrapped his tale around his leg, making it impossible to get up even if he wanted to. He could taste the blood in his mouth still, but his own and Nathaniel’s. He was not letting go of him, not if it meant he still had a fighting chance. He tightened his grip on the siren’s arm when his pelvis was crushed. He felt like he could no longer move his legs. The only thing holding him up was the tail wrapped around him. He let go of the arm and his mouth returned to that of a human. He was panicking and his eyes showed it. He could feel how his lungs were being filled with water and blood. He was choking. He tried to use his arm to push him towards the surface, but as long the tail was around him, he was not going anywhere.

It was with a uspeakeable pleasure he saw how Nate returned to human and simply gave up fighting. For Nathaniel, it was a win - more than anything else. ‘’A life for a life,’’ he whispered so close to the werewolf’s ear that he couldn’t avoid hearing it. ‘’You took what was mine… My brother might have been a lesser man, not being able to protect Kenna. I won’t make that mistake.’’
With those words, Nathaniel decided to end the werewolf’s suffering. He allowed his tail to slither up Nate’s spine; his tail-fins caressing the werewolf’s face, before Nathaniel tightened his tail around Nate’s neck; choking him completely. Waiting for his last spams to subside before he released Nate and dragged him back onto the shore. He was an angry siren, but not a monster. He wasn’t going to let Nate float to sea or get eaten. His arm was bleeding a good amount, making him grind his teeth as he returned to the shore with Nate’s corpse. Nerobel walked out; ready to help Nathaniel with Nate. ‘’I thought you had taken her back to the estate?!’’ Nathaniel snarled at Nerobel, but Nerobel simply ignored him and walked over to his old friend. ‘’Come on, let me help you,’’ Nerobel sighed, as he slipped his hands under Nathaniel’s arms and dragged him out of the water so he could return to human form once again. Nate was in the edge f the water, facing down.

Nate knew his fate was sealed, so he would just go out with as much dignity he could. He just looked at the siren until the moment it blackened for his eyes and he grew limb in Nathaniel’s grip.

Kenna had felt the fear from Nate stronger than anything, and then suddenly, she only felt Nathaniel’s anger. Nate was dead. She couldn’t figure out what she felt about that. He had been cause of so much pain in her life, but she had also loved him once. When Nerobel walked outside, it didn’t take long for her to follow. She took a few steps towards them before she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Nate laying face down in the sand, the waves crashing over him. She took in a sharp breath before she took the last steps to them. ”It’s over,” she whispered to herself. She felt such relief, but she also felt guilty. Maybe she could have done something, maybe it could have turned out differently if she had just spoken with him. She looked at Nathaniel. ”Should I get some towels?” She wanted to be helpful, after he had removed such a big threat from her life. Also, she would prefer to not stay here when her ex was laying dead in the sand. She felt like she failed him.

Nate was dead, but he was not gone. Not truly. He had just changed form. He was a ghost now, but he wouldn’t be for long. He moved closer to Kenna, who was not able to see him. ”I failed you. It will never happen again. I will come back for you.” With that word, he disappeared from the beach.

Nathaniel took a deep breath, as he looked up at Nerobel. “You didn’t have to kill him,” nerobel said, making Nathaniel scoff. “I could have done much worse, so shut it.” The siren sighed, before he looked down at himself, as Kenna joined them. Nathaniel naked wasn’t something she hadn’t seen before, both with Ellery and Nathaniel. Still, nerobel decided to got get a blanket from the house rather quickly.
He was still bleeding relatively much from his arm, considering that it had been torn to shreds right at the muscle. He wasn’t about to say that it hurt, but it was probably something anyone could see on his clenched jaw. “Just go inside, she-wolf. There’s no need for you to be near this right now,” he said, as he managed to get up on his feet. It almost felt like a shark had torn his muscle and nerves, rendering his arm limb. Nerobel came out with the blanket and wrapped it around Nathaniel’s torso, hiding away his naked body.
“How about I go make some coffee?” Nerobel suggested, but he didn’t wait for the answer before he went back inside; getting ready to brew a fresh pot of coffee for them. Nathaniel looked at Kenna. “I... I feel like I’ve failed you once more,” he then admitted, as he looked straight into her eyes. “I’ve just ripped yet another person out of your life...” he sighed, before he looked at the corpse. “I’ll call someone to pick him up and return him to his family. They have the right to bury him, regardless of how little I cared for that piece of... sorry. I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead.” He sighed, before he began walking back to the house, hoping Kenna would follow him. He of course understood if she needed time to herself after what had just happened.

Kenna hated that everyone else took care of her messes. ”I have more reason than you,” she said a little harsher than she intended. ”I’m sorry, I just hate feeling like this, like I need to be taken care of and protected all the time.” She had noticed his injury, but it didn’t seem to bother him all too much, so she let it be for now. He could probably get Vivil to patch him up if needs me. Right now, she just needed to put herself first for once.
Kenna looked after Nerobel as he ran back inside to make coffee, she then looked back at Nathaniel. ”I didn’t want him in my life. You didn’t rip someone from my life. You freed me.” She walked to him and took his hand to give it a gentle squeeze with her much smaller hand. ”I’ll just be a minute,” she said and let go of his hand. She stood a moment and looked at the dead body. She walked over to it and turned him around, so he was laying on his back. She wiped away the sand from his face and looked at the skin that already seemed so much paler. She sat down on her knees. ”Thank you,” she said and placed her hands on her knees. ”Thank you for teaching how to differentiate between something good and something bad. Thank you for pushing me towards real love, towards people who actually care about me.” She stood up and wiped her knees. ”Thank you for making me stronger.” She turned her back to him and began walking back to the house. She dried away a single tear on the way up there. She went inside a took in a deep breath. She felt like she could finally breathe.

“Then it should have been you killing him, shouldn’t it?” Nathaniel replied, before he realized what he had just said. He looked down at his feet, feeling how his heart felt covered in barb wire. “My apologies... I didn’t mean to sound like such a moron..” he sighed, biting his lip. Then, he went inside, leaving Kenna to do what she needed.
Inside, Nerobel was shaking. Nathaniel knew why, but he couldn’t really help him with it. “I’ve called mum,” Nerobel said, before he looked at Nath. “She wants to talk to you.”. With those words, nerobel handed Nathaniel the phone, which might have reminded of something out of a cartoon. Vivil ‘s voice sounded loud and clear, even though he didn’t have her on speaker. She scolded him furiously, almost sounding like a howler from Harry Potter. Nathaniel answered only in single sentence words, like yes, no, sorry. He turned around, looking at Kenna has she entered the house: nerobel Falmouth ready with the coffee. Vivil still scolded Nathaniel. “Mama, I have to go... no. No, there won’t be any more trouble... I’m sorry. I love you. Bye.”He said, before he hung up. He then walked over to Kenna, for a moment completely indifferent about the nakedness underneath the blanket. “Vivil wants to know if you’re okay,” he said with a crooked smile - a smile that tried to hide the pain in his arm.

Kenna could never actually do it. She knew it, and he probably did too. ”We both know I could never do that.” She took in a shaky breath.
When she walked into the home, she quickly got to hear Vivil’s voice in the phone before Nathaniel ended the call. ”I am,” she said and looked at his injury again. ”We need to take care of that,” she said and looked back in his eyes. She was going to insist, if he acted like it was nothing. It was not nothing. She was still afraid of what could happen if they didn’t take care. What if it got infected or something like that? Kenna had had trouble looking at Nathaniel and not see Ellery, but she was finally beginning to. It was not the small differences you could find it identical twins for example, it was more small things in his attitude, in his smiles and the looks in his eyes. She carefully wrapped her arms around him, doing her best to not strain his injured arm. ”I don’t know what to say,” she whispered against his skin. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She felt free, finally. She had waited for this feeling for years, but it wasn’t until coming here she actually thought it might be possible. Now she was. What ever was she going to do now? She had spent so many years being scared, repressed. Now she had the chance of being happy without limits. She had no idea how to use that freedom.

Nathaniel knew it was a bad thing to say - suggesting that she had killed that mutt herself. He wanted to hit himself so hard that he could pass out - but his arm wasn't even able to keep the blanket secure around him, so tat wouldn't be something he would be trying.
As Kenna stated she was okay, Nerobel looked at her for a moment, as if he considered forcing her to admit something. Then, as Kenna said they needed to take a look at Nathaniel's injuries instead, Nathaniel scoffed. ''This? Nothing a bandaid can't fix,'' he said, although that was far from the truth. His arm was in agony, but limb at the same time. He couldn't move his fingers, and blood still dripped from him.
As she wrapped her arms around him, he placed his healthy arm around her as well. the blacket only covered him the most necessary of places, leaving his chest almost completely exposed.
''I'm just glad you're safe,'' he replied in a low voice, digging his fingers into her hair, almost as if hed to see for himself that she was real. He took a deep breath, feeling lightheaded from the loss of blood. Nerobel placed three cups of coffee on the table, before he muttered something about fetching Nathaniel something to wear. He kissed her shortly on her hair. ''I want you to move in at the estate..'' he then whispered, before his hand released her hair and placed itself on her neck. His voice had changed slightly, all of a sudden - almost sounding just like his brother - unintentionally.

Kenna would be more insistent on Nathaniel getting his wound fixed, but right now she was just so happy they were both save. She listened to his heart beating so calmly in his chest. She decided to just be in a bubble for now, just her and Nathaniel. Where she was safe. The moment she stepped out of the door, she would not be safe any longer - safer now that Nate was gone, but she also knew he was not the only bad person out there. She felt his fingers entangling in her hair. Her head moved when he took in a deep breath. She heard his words and instantly moved her head to look up at him. ”Ell…” She was so sure it was Ellery for a moment, but then remembered he was never going to come back. She should stop seeing him everywhere. She really thought she was over that stage. She would never forget Ellery nor how much she loved him but seeing him in everything was just so painful. She was always ripping up a wound that was desperate to close. ”I’m sorry,” she said and looked away. Move into the estate? Would that even work, she was not a siren, and she didn’t work there like Nerobel. ”I want to earn my stay then,” she said. She couldn’t bring herself to just live there for free. She had received enough charity from Ellery already. ”Do you need a guard dog?” She said with a grin on her lips, looking back at him.

Nathaniel felt how her heart sunk, right as the partial pronunciation of his brother's name passed her lips. He closed his eyes, the moment she apologized. He hugged her tightly, his breath trembling slightly. Not because of the memory f his brother, but because of the pain he had just caused her once more. Would staying with him only make matters worse? ''If you can bear it, that is.'' he then said, trying to put on a little smile for her, but a sudden jolt through his arm made him hammer his jaws together, making a loud noise as he breathed in through his teeth. ''I might need a medic more than a guard dog, to be honest,'' he said, looking shortly at her as Nerobel walked in with the only clothes he had managed to find in the bedroom; a navy blue suit, a white shirt and black leather shoes.
''Jesus Christ Nerobel, I'm not going to a meeting!'' he sighed, but Nerobel simply winked at him. ''Actually, you are. Mum wants to talk to you, and... You better look good, 'cause she is about to beat your ass for being so reckless.'' Nerobel said with a crooked grin, before he looked at Kenna. ''If you want, I can drive you home, Miss Warrick. You can of course stay here, when Vivil arrives. She wishes to see you whenever you have the time,'' Nerobel said, before he looked at Nathaniel. ''Put on some pants, you animal. Mum doesn't need to see your dick just because Kenna and I have,'' he said, chuckling.
''I'll be heading back to the estate to inform the queen about your incident. I suggest you find a good explanation for when you return, or your wife are going to be less than pleased.'' Nerobel said, cocky as ever; leaving Nathaniel to sigh. He had told Noelle about going out with Kenna to catch up. He had not mentioned anything about getting harmed, or killing someone. Poor Noelle would most likely be furious with him about it when he returned. That, however, was a trouble for another time.
Nerobel placed clothes on the table and took his cup of coffee, waiting for Kenna to decide if she wanted to return to the estate with him, or stay with Nathaniel whilst Vivil took a look at his arm.

Kenna could bear it. She just needed a little time to adjust to everything still. It was only a matter of time before she was ready to move forward with her life instead of living in the past. ”I think I need to hold on to people who are important to me, and right now you are at the top of the list.” She loosened her grip on him when she heard the loud snap of him snapping his jaws together. ”I’m afraid that is not within my skill set,” she said and looked at him with a worried look in her eyes. She hoped it would be easily fixed.
Kenna couldn’t help but chuckle at the image of Vivil beating Nathaniel. She didn’t doubt that she could. She looked over at Nerobel when he offered to drive her home. ”I will think about it a moment,” she said and then chuckled when Nerobel spoke of them both seeing part of Nathaniel, Vivil didn’t need to see. She also blushed a bit by the thought. It was true she had seen Nathaniel naked. Kenna hadn’t talked much with Noelle, but she was sure that she would understand the situation when it was explained to her. ”I think I’ll stay,” she told Nerobel. She finally left Nathaniel’s grip, but lingered by his side a moment just to make sure he was not falling over or in other way needed her support. If he did, she would help him to the couch. If not, she would walk straight over to get the last two cups of coffee and walking over to Nathaniel again and hand him one of them. She took a sip of the warm liquid. It made her feel how cold she was. She had not noticed before now.

''You need a bigger list then,'' Nathaniel said with a slight tease in his voice, as he tried to refrain from growling from the pain. ''I'm afraid it is not in anyone's skillset to fix that mess,'' he sighed, as he slowly realized what had happened to his arm. As he was ambidexteral, he would be able to use the other hand for writing and such but... He wouldn't be able to draw again. Or play music. The thought made him slightly frustrated, but he tried not to show Kenna that. Maybe Vivil could help.
''Stop chuckling, both of you! Hand me those!'' Nathaniel sighed with a little smile on his lips, as he reached out for the pants, which Nerobel handed him with a smile.
As Kenna said she wanted to stay, Nerobel nodded. ''I'll return to the estate then. Call me when there's any news,'' he said, looking at Nathaniel, before he put down his cup and left without further notice. Nerobel was a strange one indeed.
Kenna handed Nath his coffee, as he rested his back against the wall - feeling lightheaded.
''Vivil is going to kill me for this,'' he sighed with a chuckle, as he took a sip of his coffee before handing her the cup so that he could pull on his pants, using only one hand, since the other hand was utterly useless.

”It’s a work in process,” she said. She was trying to branch out and create more relationships. She had become overly dependent on the few that she actually had. She shook her head at his words. ”Don’t say that.” She would blame herself much more than she should if he was hurt permanently from the injury. She could maybe handle it if it was easily fixed.
Kenna looked over at Nerobel when Nathaniel told them to stop chuckling. The look in her eyes pointed out the fact that Nathaniel was oversensitive. It was all in good fun, as she was far more emotional and sensitive than Nathaniel most of the time. She took another sip of the coffee and kept a close eye on Nathaniel in case his condition worsened. ”I know,” she simply replied and took the cup back. She would offer him a hand, but she was fairly certain he would prefer to do it himself rather than ask or accept her help. ”I’m sorry this happened to you,” she said and looked at him with a guilty look in her eyes. If she hadn’t hid away like a coward, maybe things would have been different. They might be worse, or they might be better. It was impossible to say, but she surely wasn’t a fan of how things were at the moment. She wished she could change it.

It was easy to see that he was being overly sensitive. Maybe it was the pain, maybe it was the fact that he had just killed someone. He wasn't sure.
He managed to pull on the pants, more troubled than he would like, as he had to stp every few seconds and breath in deep as to not throw a fit over the useless arm of his.
''Don't say what? That my arm is busted? It's a small price to pay..'' he said. He didn't say the last part of that sentence, as he didn't want to sadden her with his thoughts about the baby they had lost because of Nate.
''Don't be sorry. I'll be fine - even though... I should have been more careful. I was reckless..'' Nathaniel said, and in the moment he had said that, a loud voice signaled Vivil had arrived. ''Damn right you were!''. She stomped into the room, face bright red and out of breath from having hurried over there. ''What is it I am hearing!? You killed someone! You little... What?'' she stopped mid-sentence and looked at Nathaniel, as he with glazer over eyes looked at her - a plead for help. Vivil immediately softened up and walked over to him; placing her arms around him as only a mother could. ''There, there... It's okay..'' she said, her voice as soft as it could, as Nathaniel collapsed in her arms, holding back the tears. Whatever Vivil had done to him had made the facade crumble. The facade he had built up to protect Kenna from the mess he was inside. Vivil looked at Kenna. ''Please, take my back to the coffee table dear. We need to patch him up.'' Vivil said with a little smile, as she dragged the large siren int the livingroom and onto the couch.

Kenna hated this so much. She hated that he was in pain because he had taken on Nate. She hated that he even felt the need to do so in the first place. If she had been smarter back then, maybe they would have never lost their baby. ”Neither of us should have to pay any price,” she said. For a second, she was thinking about going to grab his hand in a weak attempt of a comfort. Before she could do so, Vivil stormed into the house in a red rage. She only calmed down when she saw the look in Nathaniel’s eyes. Something Kenna had never seen before. She stood back and let her embrace Nathaniel. She wanted to help, but maybe right now all she could do was let him be with his mother.
She grabbed Vivil’s bag and took it over to the coffee table. ”I want to help,” she told Vivil. She looked at Nathaniel as she laid on the couch. He looked so broken. Was this how he really felt? Of course it was, how could he not? He had gone through a lot of the same things as her since they met. More, even. She lost someone she had known for about six months. He had lost someone he had known forever; he had lost the chance to be a father again. She wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t know how. He had been keeping up a façade for so long. She was afraid he would reject any comfort. She sat down on her knees next to the couch and just kept watch over him, at least until Vivil gave her something else to do, if she was going to.

’’Then life would be free and human without torment. That is, too anyone, a utopia that cannot be.’’ Nathaniel sighed, as Vivil had helped him over to the couch. His voice, however brittle, still tried to uphold the distinction between him and Ellery - for her.
Vivil looked at him, rather harshly actually, and he went back to being silent. Kenna had placed herself next to Nathaniel, him looking at her with his glazed over eyes and trembling lip. How fitting that it was first as a king she would see him fall and crumble. Ironic, don’t you think?
Vivil rummaged through her Marry Poppins-looking bag, only to find bandages, a medical sewing-kit and a bottle with something reminiscing orange food colorant. She looked shortly at Nathaniel once more. ‘’Can you move your fingers at all?’’ she asked, as the man’s hand had been limb the entire time she had been there. Nathaniel closed his eyes for a moment; knowing full well the answer already. ‘’No…’’ he then sighed; a sigh of both frustration and defeat. Nate had gotten him good, even though he was the one sleeping with the fishes now.
The short voodoo-esque woman grinded her teeth. ‘’Some mess you’ve made this time, boy. You should be glad it wasn’t more than your arm that he took,’’ Vivil said, trying to contain her wrath. Had Nate been alive, he wouldn’t have been so for much longer when first Vivil had gotten a hold of him.
‘’Now, this is going to hurt - so you better stop spewing poetry and find something to bite into, unless you want all of Gaia to hear you,’’ Vivil warned him. He knew what it meant; she would have to patch him up, and the prognosis wasn’t promising. He leaned his head back against the armrest of the couch, looking up at the ceiling. ‘’Just get it done.’’ He mumbled, before he closed his eyes and a mad pain ensued. The muscle had been torn, every little fiber of it. It wouldn’t be salvageable. She would be able to sew it all back in place, but if he couldn’t feel his arm now, he probably never would again. Every time the needle pierced his skin, he took a shaking breath, grinding his teeth and mumbled something in French; usually a curse word or something like that.
Vivil went on like that for almost an hour. Every little rip, tear and shred was back in place, but his arm looked like something Sally The Ragdoll would have loved. He was exhausted to say the least, and so was Vivil. Vivil, with her hands soaked in blood rubbed her face in sheer frustration, before she looked at Kenna. ‘’Put a bandage around it, would you? I just have to go wash my hands,’’ she said, before she left the room; nauseated from what she had just done. It wasn’t easy seeing a boy she cared so much for being torn apart so violently.

”I suppose so,” she said and just watched him. She had never experienced him like this. She felt so sad for him. She understood why he had felt the need to do what he had. Nate had taken a lot from him as well. She was just not sure it was worth the price. She looked away when he admitted that he couldn’t move his fingers. What would that mean? Would he never be able to use his arm properly again? When Vivil was preparing to sew him back together, Kenna reached for his other hand. It would not help much, but she didn’t know what else to do. It took an hour or so before she was done with him. Kenna had not left his side, nor had she stopped looking at him. She was so worried for him. Kenna looked up at Vivil when she spoke, before she went away to wash her hands. Kenna released his hand and stood up to get the bandage. She gently traced the bandage over his arm, trying to be as careful she could, but also make the bandage firm and protective. ”How are you feeling?” Her voice was trying and gentle. She was sure it was a question nothing good would come from. But she had to ask, or else she would just worry about him excessively. She finished wrapping his arm and secured it with some tape. She moved her hand up to his cheek, caressing it carefully. She wished she could just fix it. He didn’t deserve this. He deserved so much more. ”Do you need something? Are you cold?” She wanted to do anything to make him as comfortable as possible. He had to be in pain. She was ready to get a blanket or something to drink or eat. Anything he needed. She would even go to the estate and explain everything to Noelle if he asked her. Even though Noelle was a little scary to her.

It was no easy feat for keep a straight face, with Kenna looking at him and Vivil stitching up his torn arm. He didn’t know what felt the worst, to be honest; Kenna that seemed to be so terribly worried about him, or his ‘mother’s’ ability to cause a silent guilt trip. He closed his eyes as Vivil asked Kenna to put a bandage on his arm whilst she went to wash her hands, breathing hard through his teeth as Kenna touched his arm. He hated to look weak, and it didn’t get better by the fact that Kenna possibly was one of the only people able to see right through him when things went south.
The ‘how are you feeling?’ Made him open his eyes and look up t the ceiling. “That depends... I still feel the same I’ve done for months.... even though, I am relieved that he isn’t around any more to harm you.” Nathaniel mumbled, trying to avoid answering regarding his arm. In truth, he couldn’t move anything from below the elbow. He didn’t even dare to try.
“I don’t need anything. I promise.” He said, before he turned his face at looked directly at her. Vivil was taking her sweet time, letting them speak in private.

Kenna knew Nathaniel well enough to know, he was not happy in this situation. She didn’t want him to feel weak or unable to take of himself. However, she also just wanted to help. It was not easy to tend to both their wants. Still now, he was thinking about her and her now finished relationship with Nate. ”And I’m happy he is not around to hurt the people I care about,” she said sat back down on the floor, this time hugging her knees to her chest. ”I wish you would talk to me,” she said quietly. It apparently was the first time he felt like he did now, but he kept it all to himself. How could she be so selfish to talk with him when things were tough for her, when she knew he was going through something as well? But now was not the time to talk about it. ”Try to get some rest,” she suggested. She looked down at her feet a moment before he looked directly at her. ”I’m here if you do later,” she said with a gentle smile on her lips. Maybe something good could come from this. Nothing that made it worth it, but she hoped this could make their relationship stronger.

He didn’t like to exclude her from his thoughts. Even now, it felt like he had to keep it behind closed doors; even after Ellery had left them. He closed his eyes once more, as he heard her quiet voice seeping into his mind… Talk to her.
About what? About how his insides had burst when it was revealed he was the father? How he had withered when it was revealed when it had been revealed she had lost it? ‘’I do talk to you, Kenna… It’s just… I don’t like to emphasize that I have feelings as well. I don’t like being vulnerable and unable to fight back.’’ He mumbled, before he looked up at the ceiling.
‘’I feel so fucking empty. Without him, it’s deafening. What makes it worse is the fact that he tried to get rid of me, when he disappeared. He tried to kill me, and I still miss him with every fiber of my cursed being.’’ He whispered; his eyes fixated on the ceiling, as to not look at her and reveal the fact that his eyes had darkened slightly with the overwhelming sadness he felt. ‘’The only time I felt normal was when I was killing Nate. It was the only time the silence wasn’t exploding in my head; the only time where I could breath without fearing my chest burst.’’ He closed his eyes, trying to stop the tears from gathering in his eyes.
‘’And I can’t talk to anyone about it, besides you… Not even my wife. I can’t tell anyone what happened, because that would just put you in such a bad position with anyone at The Circle…’’ he sighed, before he breathed in deeply. ‘’I miss you so fucking much… ‘’ he then finally admitted, keeping his eyes closed as to not see her face as she would process his words.

Kenna got it. Kind of. She preferred to take care of everything herself, but she had also learned how freeing it could be to share her thoughts with people, to have someone be there for her. That was all she wanted for Nathaniel; that he didn’t feel alone. ”Nobody likes to be vulnerable.” She looked at him, even as he looked up in the ceiling. ”But by being vulnerable and opening up to people, you don’t have to fight alone. It’s exhausting to handle everything alone.” She just listened to him. He was opening up now; it would be stupid of her to not let him say all he needed to say.
It was not the same, but after she lost their child, she felt something similar. She felt empty. Another living being had been a part of her, and then suddenly it wasn’t. She breathed slowly, her chest moving against her knees as he explained what he was feeling. She kept quiet until she was sure he was done. ”I understand why you can’t talk with anyone from The Circle. So if you ever need to talk about any of this, I will be available. You are so important to me, Nathaniel. I never want you to go through anything alone if I can help it.” She really just wanted to be there for him, to be someone he could trust with all of this. She had not spoken with anyone else about any of this. She didn’t know how to. She needed him, and she hoped he would lean on her in the future. Then they would always have each other.
”I miss you too,” she said and sat differently so her back was against the couch, her hair moving against his hand. ”I think we both need each other right now. One day, we might learn how to live with all this, but for now…” She sighed and took in a shivering breath. ”I don’t think I can get through this without you.” She didn’t want to put pressure on him, but she wanted to be honest with him.

Regardless of how he felt, he needed to stop himself from saying things he was going to regret. It was to no help for either of them, that he spoke about how he missed her or felt empty without her - it would only be misunderstood.
‘’Sometimes I wonder if you were meant to meet me or Ellery back then, at the waterfront.’’ He then admitted. ‘’Sure, you met a knight in shining armor, but… I need to shut the hell up!’’ he snarled at himself as he sat up on the couch; getting frustrated with himself. He got up before Kenna could manage to stop him, before he walked over to the kitchen and opened the fridge with his good hand. He pulled out a beer, and placed it on the counter before he closed the fridge again. Luckily, he had learned to open beers one-handed, or he would have been oh so tired of it all, or… At least more than he already was. He looked over at her. ‘’This is why I don’t talk about feelings, missy!’’ he said, exhaling sharply.
‘’You know I love you. I dare to believe it isn’t a remnant of my brother, and that it is actually my own true feelings - but I can’t be talking feelings with you. I’d rather fight my thought alone than leaving you with a shred of doubt about how I feel.’’ He then said, before he took another sip of his beer - a rather large one at that. He sighed, before he looked down at his arm. It felt horrible, not being able to feel his hand. What would Noelle say?
‘’You won’t be going through any of this without me. You know that… I just… I know you lost so much more than me that day, but… I feel like a dick for feeling anything, actually.’’ He said, before he looked back at her. ‘’Now, where are those bloody pizzas of ours? I’m starving,’’ he said, trying to think of something else. Suddenly it hit him, that with no use of his hand, he wouldn’t be able to write, eat by himself or even jerk off. He sighed, tired of it all already.

Kenna was pretty contempt in the role as Nathaniel’s friend. There might have been a time when she thought they could have been more, but she had learned to not overthink his words. He might say something that could be misunderstood, but she didn’t overthink his words anymore. Unless he directly said what he was feeling she would understand it as platonic. ”No, I didn’t.” She looked away. ”I loved Ellery. I did, but the only thing he saved me from was being alone. And I appreciated it, don’t get me wrong. But a knight is supposed to slay the dragons. You slayed my dragons.” She would have been lost without both Nathaniel and Ellery. She would not want to live with either of them. But she had to now, and she was going to find a way to be okay with it. ”I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
Kenna took in a deep breath before she stood up and followed him to the kitchen. ”You have just said you love me. That’s all I need to know. I won’t doubt what you feel ever again. Unless you outright say you feel something else, that is what I know to be true.” It didn’t matter what kind of love it was. He was married, and she would never get in the middle of a marriage. She didn’t know what to say. So she just said nothing. Instead she went over to get the pizzas that undoubtedly had turned cold. She went back to the kitchen and looked inside his box to check if they were cut out, before she slid the box towards him. ”I am going back to the estate with you,” she told him. He had invited her, but she also knew she couldn’t leave him in good conscience. Surely, he had enough people to take care of him back at the house, but she wanted to be one of them. ”So if I can’t be a medic or a guard dog, what can I be to you?” She took a piece of pizza to take a bite. She didn’t care that it was cold. From now on, she wanted to keep the conversation between them light.

Nathaniel had said too much, and that was in no way fair towards Kenna. Regardless of his feelings, he should have known to keep his mouth shut when it came to her relationship to his brother. Ellery had a tendency to be a soft spot with most people - either because they hated him, loved him, hated that they loved him or loved to hate him. There wasn’t a winning scenario for Nathaniel in there, no matter what.
‘’He wasn’t able to kill, Kenna.’’ He said. He sighed. ‘’In the end, the only person he ever killed was himself.’’ It was harsh, but it was the truth. Maybe - just maybe - had it been on purpose. He could never know that for sure. ‘’I slayed no dragon, dear maiden. I slayed a pathetic excuse of a man.’’ He said, knowing that it was - once again - an unfair opinion to have. Nate had in honesty done nothing wrong before the night at the cemetery, regarding Nathaniel. With a sigh, he looked at his arm once more.
‘’You didn’t push me. I’m glad that you actually gave notice about it, otherwise I might never had said it.’’ Nathaniel said, smiling at her for a moment, as she followed him to the kitchen. ‘’Then let’s keep it at that, dear she-wolf.’’ He said, as she stated that she would know that he loved her until he told her otherwise. It was a good middle ground for them.
‘’I appreciate it,’’ he said, as he looked shortly towards the bathroom. ‘’Everything alright, mama?’’ he asked loudly, only for Vivil to appear almost instantly with a weak smile on her lips and a tear in her eyes. ‘’Everything is just fine, my boy,’’ she answered; her voice soft and caring, before she looked at Kenna. ‘’If you let any more harm come to him, I will - what does Nerobel call it? - whoop your behind!’’ she said, in a voice that could only be considered lighthearted and joking - although, Vivil never joked. She would see to it that Kenna made sure Nathaniel stayed out of trouble from then on. ‘’Now… You get home to your wife and make me some beautiful grand-children!’’ she said, looking at Nathaniel before she packed her bag and left - no goodbye, no nothing. Vivil was funny like that.
Nathaniel looked down at his pizza, trying not to burst out laughing at Vivil’s little threat to Kenna. ‘’So,’’ he snickered. ‘’My mum thinks you can keep me out of trouble,’’ he snickered, shaking his head. ‘’Good luck with that. I still have to tell my wife that I messed up my arm whilst killing a man,’’ he said, trying to joke about it, when in reality he was terrified about what Noelle would do when she found out. He took out a piece of cold pizza and took a bite. It still tasted wonderful! ‘’Well,’’ he said, before he looked at her. ‘’How about you are assigned with the duty of making sure I don’t mess up my arm further? Then we should have some time to think of a more suitable position for you, if you choose to stay?’’ he suggested, before he took another bite.

Kenna didn’t blame Ellery for not killing Nate, but in the end the only one who was able to free her from Nate, was Nathaniel. When he mentioned Ellery had killed herself, her heart instantly began beating faster. Was that really what happened? She had never really asked Nathaniel about the details. It had never seemed the right time. ”The dragon was a metaphor. You’re not really a knight in shining armor either,” she said with a smile on her lips.
”You’re welcome then,” she said on her way to the kitchen. ”Yes, let’s.” She felt good about this. It felt like a turning point for their friendship. She looked towards the bathroom as well when Nathaniel addressed Vivil who shortly after appeared. She could sense her emotions. She had been scared and worried, of course. But she also felt some anger. She looked at her when she spoke to her directly. Was she just given the responsibility of Nathaniel’s well-being? Oh wow, she would have her work cut out for her.
”I adore her,” she said after Vivil had left. She was such a great personality. She looked at Nathaniel again. ”Seems like it,” she said with an overexaggerated sigh. ”Good luck with that” she said, spitting his words back at him. She took another bite of the pizza, when he suggested what her job could be - for now at least. ”That sounds like a deal.” She closed the pizza box. ”Beautiful grand-children, huh?” She said with a joking smile. ”It’s kind of impossible for you not to have beautiful children, especially with your smoking wife,” she said and made a movement like she was fanning herself with her hand. ”I hope you’re happy with her,” she said more serious this time. Kenna knew the marriage had not been what Nathaniel had wanted, but hopefully he got something good of it still. If not love, then maybe friendship or a kinship of some kind.