Deep conversations - Luna

Jayden had offered Luna to take care of Lucille once in a while. Of course Dylan was an obvious choice, but with her busy life, he was a second choice when she wasn't available. The young girl seemed to have taken a like to him, and he thought it was good with some more experience with children. He hadn't been around many children before his own. He was right now walking with the girl sleeping in his arms. She had gotten tired after their dinner, and he had suggested they walked home. On the way, she had gotten tired and he had lifted up, making it possible for her to fall asleep. He barely had the arms length to knock on Luna's door, which made the knock sound very weak compared to his normal knock. He was waiting patiently for the door to open. When it did he smiled at the young mother. [color:44cc=¤996666]"Sorry I'm a little late. She fell asleep," he whispered to not wake Lucille.

Ash was home late, and Luna had a late shift. However she was expecting Jayden to be on a specific time. Once again, like every other day - she had swung by the hospital on the way back. Walking inside in the darkness, just pure silence was killer. However she wasn't the time to just let everything out and react - she adapted herself to this weird reality like if she was born to do it. Luna sat down on the floor in the living room and blankly starred into the wall for at least five minutes till the small knock on the front door knocked her back to reality. Luna got back on her feet and walked over to open for them.
"It's alright, you can just put her into her room," she moved so Jayden could walk in. It was easier just to put Lucille to sleep, than switching her over and wake her up. Luna closed the door after and walked to the kitchen to open up a bottle of white wine. She just needed something to get her mind off things. When he came to her she lifted the bottle a little up. "Want a glass? you most be exhausted," she added with a little smile. She knew taking care of Lucille was a hard job, not because she was an uneasy child or anything - but taking care of kids were simply exhausted in the long run.

Jayden had not done anything special with Lucille. Not to him, at least. He had started by playing a few games with her, then done a play with dolls and different teddy animals he had to gotten to the twins – the young versions of them. And the daughter he would soon have, who wasn’t even conceived yet. What a weird thought. He took the tired girl to her bed and tucked her in. He let the door be opened a little. He knew from his own experience, he was more calm when he could hear if something happened. He walked back to Luna in the kitchen. ”Yes, thank you.” he said with a calm smile. ”She is easy compared to toddler twins,” he said with a slight sigh. ”This dad thing is still new to me,” he said with a soft smile. He looked at her before taking the glass. ”How are you holding up?” He asked, treading carefully. He didn’t know if it was his place to ask. He barely knew her. But he did know how it was like to lose someone, so maybe he could offer some perspective on what she was going through. Losing Clara had been one of the toughest things he had ever gone through. He was surprised he had moved on already. Of course his heart still tightened when he thought of her, but he was also happy. With every aspect with his life. He hoped Clara was watching from somewhere, seeing how much he had changed the last few months. She would have loved him as a father. He once thought it should have been her children.

"She is easier than she was when she was two," she admitted and shook her head a little. Missing out on three years of your daughters life, was something she was faced with everyday now. Lucille depended on her, they were still getting to know each other again. She was lucky that Lucille reminded her so much of William in his way of welcoming people. "This mom thing, is still new for me at times as well," she breathed out and took a mouthful of wine. "I haven't seen her en three years.. then William ends up in an accident only two weeks of me being back in her life.. and now she depends on me, I don't know if you can hold yourself up for that," she shook her head and looked towards the door. No one really knew why she had been gone for three years, no one but Ash really understood.
"The last three years has been quite rough on my sister and I.. lost someone really special to me in that time as well.. so I guess at this moment I just feel like everything is a never ending nightmare.. " she didn't know where this sudden burst of emotions came from. She was in a safe place, more safe than most at least - so maybe she just needed to talk it out with someone who wasn't her sister or old friends. People who knew her in one way from her pasts. Jayden was starting to know the person she had become, and it was nice.
"I'm a terrible mother.. and I don't know anything anymore," she placed the glass down and put both her elbows to the counter. Luna covered her face shortly with her hands and just left out a sigh - trying not to cry.

Jayden always noticed beauty. He was not interested in Luna in a romantic way. She was Dylan’s friend, and what he wanted least was to hurt her. But he did see beauty in the human woman. If circumstances have been different, he was sure he could have been open to more than what they were with her, but as things were, she would remain his friend and nothing else. He could imagine it was different now than three years ago. She was undoubtedly much more her own person by the age of five than at two. He took a sip of the wine and looked at her with a slight smile. Maybe the could learn from each other. ”I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like to stand where you are. I only see my kids once in a while. They are not as dependent on me as Lucille are of you. However, I think the best thing you can do, is make sure you have the support you need. If you are truly all alone in this, you won’t be able to hold yourself up to that.” He sighed softly by her next words. He could understand some of it. He had not missed three years of his children’s lives, but it was still hard. And he had lost as well.
”I understand. I want to say you need to find a way to live with what happened, but that is bullshit advice,” he made sure to lower his voice on the curse word. Just in case Lucille had woken and was listening.
He put the wine glass down and moved closer to her. He put a hand on her arm. ”You are not a terrible mother.” He shook his head. How could she even think that? ”You know what all Lucille could talk of today was? You. She wanted to tell me all about her mother. She never said it with so many words, but she is proud of you. She just needs to adjust too. But I think she feels a connection with you, she can’t feel with anyone else. That is usually how mothers are with their children. It’s a relationship that can’t be replaced.” He put his hand on her wrist. ”You don’t have to hide. I know how it feels to hide. It won’t do you any good,” he advised her, hoping she would remove her hands.

She felt his hand against her arm. Since being at the factory and Andre died - the only people she had let touch her were William, Lucille, Dylan and Ash. Luna took a deep breath in, but listened to his words. Which was more than she did with most. She wasn't good at taking peoples advice. Luna breathed out, but his last choice of words just hit right on a weak spot on her wall. She removed her hands and stood up. Luna was standing quite close to him after he had moved to her. She looked up in his eyes.
"What if I'm not who they all need me to be? What if this empty feeling in my heart is all I have left?" She asked with a voice almost ready to break. "I've been hiding the past three years to be able to fight.. you fight to live our you die.. that is how I survived ," she said almost breathless - but he was standing so close that he would be able to hear her. Luna didn't take her eyes from him. "I saw the way people looked at me before, and I see the way they look at me now.. like I'm a stranger they can't place. Am I just that unlovable?"

Jayden removed his hands slowly when she stood up straight. He wanted her to know he was still there, but not be too intrusive. Her question was something he had a hard time answering, but what really hit him was her voice on the verge of breaking. He just let her say what she had to, before he even said something. ”No. I don’t believe you are. I don’t think it’s about love. People expect something. Everyone does. They expect you to be what you once were. Not everyone is going to accept that you have changed. But who even cares about what those people think? I don’t believe in many things, but what I do believe in, is confidence and loving yourself. If you can love yourself, so can other people. And I believe people already do love you. You have a sister, right? And Lucille.” He took in a shallow breath and decided to put his arms around her. It seemed like she needed some comfort, and sometimes physical comfort was the best kind. After a moment he removed himself from the hug and instead put his hands on her upper arms. ”Screw what people think. I like you, what else do you need?” He was saying it with a grin, as he was just trying to make her feel better. He doubt she cared much for his opinion. Not yet, at least.

It was true. She had Ash and Lucille. But Ash didn't know her from before what had happened to them, Lucille did - but a two year old girls memory was so fraigle. Luna had been lucky that Dylan and William had kept her memory alive while she had been missing. Luna was caught off guard when he suddenly put his arms around her in her. Luna forgot how to breathe for a few seconds, feeling all her emotions rushing out and being placed on the thinnest layer of her skin. Emotions had been so dim, and kept herself from crying to be the strong link for so long - it was exhausting but she adapted so well it didn't really bother her that much. Maybe it was just tonight that was hard. Luna closed her arms around him and just took the fraigle moment in and accepted it to be a part of her being. Then he moved a little out of the embrace, only to place his hands on her upper arms. If you looked closely you could see smaller scars from injections, but only if you looked closely at the area over her shoulders. What else did she need. in the long run or right here and now? Ash wasn't home and she knew Lucille to be a deep sleeper. How was it that she felt in this second like Jayden could relate more to her situation then most?
"Right now?" - "Just to do something crazy just because I can," she sighed and breathed slowly out feeling herself drawn to his eyes. And her eyes moved for a second down looking at his lips, but she forced her eyes up to meet with his again.

Jayden felt like his life was much richer now. He had more people than ever. This spring his life changed drastically and at first, he was not sure he would be able to handle it, but because he wasn’t alone, he knew he could. He felt like Veronica and Jessalyn were some of his closest friends, despite it being very complicated and different than most relationships. He was after all going to have children with both of them. It was strange, but it also made sense to him. Of course they wanted all three children to have the same father. Jayden wasn’t sure why, but he felt he could understand Luna. Not just understand what she was going through, but really feel it. He understood why she would want to do something crazy. It could make you feel alive if you did. Jayden couldn’t help but notice the overwhelming chemistry between them. He tried not to, but it was so strong. He just couldn’t decide if it just because they stood here together in close proximity of each other, or if it was something more. He kept a steady eye contact with her. Crazy, okay. It had to be something that could be done in the apartment, as he suspected she wasn’t going to leave Lucille behind. He at least never would leave his sleeping children. He moved his hands away from her, and then felt something strange. He felt cold all of the sudden. He looked down a moment to try and understand what was happening. He looked back at her eyes. This time he didn’t just see the emotions, he felt them. Every single one of them. They rushed through him in such a rapid speed it made his heart beat faster. He felt closer to her than to anyone else he had ever met.
He was acting rather impulsively, but this connection he felt between them was so strong. He was afraid it would flee. Before it did, he wanted to get everything from it he could. He leaned forward and his lips touched hers in just a few second before he leaned back again. Why did he just do that? Between what she was going through and Dylan, he should have been more considerate of everyone involved. ”Sorry,” he mumbled. It had somehow made him feel even more connected to her. He felt in over his head with this. He took a step back and turned away to grab his wine glass, sipping the wine while trying his best to not look at her.

She was used to rules. Even before the factory her parents had been pretty strict. It had taken a lot of effort for her to convince them, that she could keep Lucille back then. Luna had always been bright and clever, she didn't make mistakes. In the factory she had been quite the leader, because she could adapt naturally to everything that seemed to be thrown at them. She had always had to think about others before herself, and she was fine with that. It rushed through her as she felt his lips upon hers for a matter of seconds that felt like minutes. It took her breath away as she watched him move away as he said sorry.
"Are you?" She asked searching for the truth. Luna grabbed her glass and took a mouthful of the wine. Why did she feel so connected to him out of sudden? Luna kept her eyes on him, she didn't say a word. Her emotions pulled herself closer to him, but her body stayed in the same place. Conflicted, and somehow she wasn't. He understood her without trying to, it seemed simple. For the first time in a long time, it seemed so simple. Her heart skipped a few beats, before she put the glass down again. She felt the connection almost like a strong bond, like she had known him forever. But she knew tricks and abilities that could twist the mind. That was as far her supernatural Knowledge went. "I feel like I have to fight every single thought in my mind not going to you right now.." she admitted and breathed out a little unsteady. The connection was overwhelming, hitting her from all fronts and she had no chance of defending herself. Luna walked over to him and stood right in front of him. She placed a hand on his cheek making him look into her eyes.

Jayden was not sure what he was trying to accomplish here, why he was preying on her with what she was going through. It was selfish of him. He couldn’t explain it, but the connection he felt with Luna was different than everything else he had experienced. He wasn’t sure it was romantic as such. He just didn’t know how else to handle it. Are you? What a great question. He wasn’t sure. He felt her, even if they were apart. He felt the anger, the pain, the fear, the love. It was all so clear. He understood everything she was. It was scary to share that kind of connection with anyone. Especially someone he barely knew. ”I don’t know,” he admitted. He wasn’t sure it had been a mistake.
He turned his head to her when she spoke. ”I don’t want you to fight. It seems like you have already fought enough.” He sighed, ready to leave. Then she placed herself in front of him, looking into his eyes with a hand of his cheek. How could he leave now? She needed someone. He knew that now. Someone who could understand. He couldn’t before, but now he could. But he was still sure he shouldn’t take advantage of her. He couldn’t do that to her or Dylan. Had it been someone else, it would still be bad, but Luna and Dylan were friends. He had already made some very complicated relationships before. He didn’t want to do that again. Yet as he stood there, looking into her eyes, it was hard to fight the chemistry. He had tried so hard to not think of Luna as anything as a friend, but now that seemed impossible. ”You have the most beautiful eyes.” The words flew past his lips. Why was he like this? Was he just completely incapable of being with someone exclusively? Or maybe it was all still about Clara. He moved his hand up, putting it on the back of her head. However badly he wanted to kiss her again, he had to stop himself, however much he wanted to taste her lips again.

It felt like they had known each other forever, like he knew every twist and turn of her soul. How was that possible? Luna needed to know that, but at the same time she didn't want to. She just wanted some peace and quite in her mind for a second, and if he could give that to her - then wouldn't she be dumb not to take it? She looked into his eyes, why didn't she just let him leave? It would be so easy, just to let him walk out the door and blame everyone on the simple glass of wine. But it wasn't that, it was something far more mystical - magical. Dylan was her friend, she couldn't do this to her friend - and somehow it didn't stop her selfish mind for standing right here. She smiled a little by the compliment, like a young girl who hadn't reached a compliment in years  - which wasn't the case, but somehow it was like  everything he said just gave her a rush of positive emotions.

Before she however was able to say anything the door opened and Dylan walked in.
"Oh yeah, hey Dylan. You have been missing for a few days, I'm sure you are fine. Its good to see that you two figure things out," she shook her head and didn't really know what to think. "Its fine. Don't worry about it. I will just leave," she went back to the door. Luna ran after Dylan, "don't," she turned around and her eyes glowed a little.
"Neither of you. Just don't," she could feel the bond between them. It hadn't been there before, but right now. Right now she didn't want to understand it. So she walked away, later to be found by Lorenzo walking around in the streets by himself.

Luna closed the door and looked at Jayden.
"I know we should be talking about this, but can we talk about her eyes.. why did they glow like that?" Luna didn't know much about the supernatural other than vampires had attacked Ash not many days ago.

They were quiet. They didn't to say anything, everything was being said through this connection they shared. He hadn't felt anything like this since Clara. Whatever it was, it wasn't natural. She seemed like she was about to say something, but then the door opened. He quickly drifted away from Luna when he saw Dylan stand there. He hadn't known she was missing. He just figured she was busy with her work. Not that it was any excuse. He sighed when she made it clear she didn't want either of them to follow. He didn't know how he was going to fix this. He really liked Dyla. Why was he messing it up? He always did this when things got too serious. It was his way of avoid being hurt. It was stupid and juvenile, yet he did it anyway. He frowned when Luna talked about Dylan's eyes. Didn't she know? "You don't know?" It was a stupid question, but he was just trying to figure out if he should tell her the truth or not. "How much do you know about Gaia and Moonlight Falls?" If he learned what she already knew, it would be easier to fill in the blanks.

It was normal for Luna to choose the part that didn't involve her to talk about her emotions. She took the part that could matter of her survival. Luna breathed out and narrowed her eyes by his question, so he knew about the vampires? Luna took a little step back and looked a little suspicious at him. "I know my sister was attacked by vampires not many days ago.. I know some people have abilities.. or what ever. She promised me to bring her lover boy Alec over," she answered his question and crossed her arms a little.
"But everything else is still a blank spot, which I hate. I don't like not having the facts, I thought I did, and by knowing that I don't.. makes things a bit unsafe," she looked to Lucilles door. She didn't like not knowing what kind of forces could effect her daughters life or what forces that were. She didn't even know Lucille was a werewolf because of her father. "But you do know.. I can tell," she narrowed her eyes a little and breathed out.
"Tell me the truth.. no need for sugar coating."

Jayden nodded as she explained what she knew. ”You should know everything,” he said with a sigh, not knowing where he was supposed to start. ”There is vampires, yes. But there is a lot of other things as well. I can get you a book about them, it’s easier than me explaining everything.” He did know, she was right about that. And of course she wanted the truth. ”Dylan’s eyes glowed because she’s a werewolf,” he closed his eyes to bring forward his wolf-eyes. His eyes were now golden with a white ring around the pupil. ”So am I.” He allowed the eyes to say, before they returned to his natural color. ”There is also witches and angels and demons. Everything you read about, really. Moonlight Falls is practically the main city in England for supernatural creatures. If I’m not mistaken, one of the biggest witch bloodline have founded the city.” He was not sure he was handling it the right way, but he was not really a master in explaining stuff like this. ”William is a werewolf too.” He looked towards Lucille’s room. ”She might be as well,” he said before looking back at Luna. ”I know it’s a lot to take in.”

Luna walked over and sat down on the kitchen counter listening to him. If there was anything she had talent for it was adapting to life. But she needed to know the facts for that. Werewolves. Luna blinked a little, trying to focus on the words she was hearing at the moment. It was a lot to take in, and the information rained over her like a rainstorm. His eyes glowed with this golden color and she felt her heart skip a beat for a second. She noted a mental note not to place herself in that city.
"Any names I should be aware of .. saying witches?" She asked, which caught her off guard when he talked about William. Was William a werewolf? Luna went quite for a second and removed her eyes down to the floor. Especially when he mentioned that her daughter could be one as well. Frustration fired up inside her, and the flames grew bigger every second.
"No you don't," she looked up when he claimed to know, that it was a lot to take in. "You are basically telling me.. that one of my best friends is a werewolf.. and the person I have loved since forever is so too.. and to add to that list.. my daughter," she breathed but didn't take her eyes from his.
"I promised Ash, that we would be safe here.. that I would keep us safe.. after everything we went through," she closed her eyes and her jaws tensed. "How am I supposed to do that now? I can defend us from that.. I can't keep us safe here," she lashed out and looked towards Lucilles door.  Luna took a deep breath in and felt her tears burning in her eyes, screaming to be let go.
"I was finally feeling like I had a shoot of something again.. that I could allow myself to feel.. be happy," her voice almost cracked - almost, but she suck it in. "I guess its not in my cards."

Maybe he should have tackled it differently. However, he always believed it was best to get the bandage ripped off quickly. He didn’t blame her for not saying anything. It was a lot. Her question surprised him, but he knew who to mention right away. Around here, there was many powerful witches, but only one family he knew to be so particular strong. ”The Sinclairs. They were created by the first witch and first created witch. They are one of the most powerful families period.” He was not sure any other families when back that long.

”No you’re right, I don’t. But I know enough.” He might not have his world flipped as much as she was, but he had learned that he had not only two children but three, none of them being his current species. It was not easy, but it was easier for him. He already knew of most species. ”Okay, listen,” he started as she began talking about not being able to keep people safe. ”You are not the only human around here who knows what you do. It is possible to be safe. There is precautions you can take. I will find a witch who can spell the house, I will tell you what each species is weak against. Being human doesn’t make you weak, being unprepared does. So let me help you be prepared.”
He walked to her, standing in front of her. His eyes were begging her to look at him, but he didn’t say anything. ”Whoever told you can read your future from cards is a fool.” He took in a sharp breath. ”I was a witch before. Every witch is destined to be with someone. I met my someone last year. She was in my cards. But she died. If you believe life is decided for you, you will always be trapped.” He grabbed for her hands. ”Don’t let the fear stop you from living.”