Broken shell of a man - Alycia

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Place: Porch to the backyard
Time: 11:23
Weather: A wam sunny day in spring
Outfit: A black shirt and matching jeans.
Topic to: @Alycia <3

Most days when he wasnt with Abigal, he spent time sitting out by the porch to the backyard. Everyone knew what had happened, or they knew that he had been taken by Lucifer and put through the worst - No one knew that the thing that had truly broken him was heartbreak of seeing Abigal dead. And even though she hadnt been actually dead, the damage to his mind was still done. The detail had heard of what happened and told him that he could take the days he needed before going to work, luckily for him Abigal had pulled some strings to keep him on the castle so he didnt roam the city without anyone knowing his whereabouts. He had this look of not actually being present most of the time. Some days were good, but they were spent with Abigal. The bad days? He just sought out to sit on the porch, staring at the garden where his latest good memory was.
"You could at least try to act like nothing is wrong. But then again, the absolute worst of the worst had happened, so I guess no one who knows about it blames you," Minerva said, sitting on the arm of the chair, holding her arms around Kyle's neck. Kyle looked down for a second and exhaled deeply. "You don't have to ignore me. You're seeing me for a reason. I'm here to help you," she said, but he didnt seem to hear her, or maybe he just didnt want to talk to her. She looked back as a door opened, "You've got company, dad," she then said with a smile. Kyle just looked at the ground.

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Outfit
Accent: American

She had been the first to find him after what Lucifer had put him through. She couldn't even imagine, but she knew how it felt to not believing anything around you made sense. Knew how it felt to not know who you were or how you were supposed to feel. For years, Alycia had lived so many lives - had her memories removed and placed in new countries and new worlds - just long enough to live that live and moved on to the next. It was only through the last year she had learned about her other lives, and she stille struggled with remembering everything. After all, all these lives had a different personality. Alycia sighed as she walked down the hall, she had passed Hope sitting in the window looking outside. Alycia walked over to her daughter and asked what she was looking at. She told her she was sad because Kyle looked sad. Alycia told her daughter to go play in the playroom and she would talk to Kyle.
Alycia was the queen, but before she remembered her old lives she had been a simple maiden in the castle till she married the king - quite the story.
"Bad day?" she asked him carefully and walked out next to him. Alycia didn't see being royalty as always having to wear fancy dresses and being styled. She liked the simple stuff. He seemed to be haunted and Alycia just sat down next to him.
"What is your mind telling you?" She asked him another question. Alycia had the ability to break other peoples mental shield, and she could do it and have a look what was going on - but she chose not to. Not everything should be fixed with magic or abilities - all magic came with a price. Something she had learned a long time ago.

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He didnt really look towards her as she came out to talk to him, he just sort of stared into nothing while he was pondering over things. When she sat next to him, he turned his face to her but it was quite like he didnt see her. He did hear her though. He exhaled deeply and turned his face back towards the trees, "Queen Alycia," he almost automatically greeted, but it wasnt in his usual happy tone, just a emotionless almost sad tone. "It seems like weeks, even days. The potions are quite helpful, but I don't like having take a potion to be who I am," he explained looking down at the ground.
Minerva looked at Alycia with a look of skepticism in her eyes, "His mind is telling him everything he needs to do but he isnt listening! Tell her that, dad!" she angrily said. Kyle looked towards his daughter and sighed as he put a hand over his forehead. "It's not good.. Most of the time I'm not sure if I'm really here or somewhere else," he explained, not feeling worried about telling Alycia as it was. Abigal, it was harder to talk to her, as as understanding as she was, Kyle didnt want her to worry or think that much about him, not in that negative manner. He rubbed his forehead and made a pained expression, "It was too hard to see her dead," he then said, leaning back in his chair.

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"I get that," she answered him honest. The mind was one tricky thing, and if you put to much on it at once it could feel like it shattered. He admitted it wasn't good, it was a step in the right direction. Alycia listened to him, she had plenty of loss on her list. Seeing someone you love die, memories flashed through her eyes and she took a deep breath in.
"Death is hard on all of us Kyle," she called him by his name instead of the formal way of speaking. Alycia was still fighting her own pain, but knew how it felt not wanting to push all the worry on her partners shoulders. It seemed like it would be too much for anyone to hold on to. It was worse when she met people she had spend a life with, and now they were a simple memory. Death came after everyone, even the immortal would have to face it at some point. "I understand," she sighted a little bit and looked at him again.
"It gets easier.. just not right now. Find an anchor and hold on to that.. that is the key to getting through it," she told him and swallowed her own traumas. "Because even if someone returned, the feeling of the loss doesn't just go away. And you'll have to deal with that loss. And it hurts like hell.. till you realize why it hurts so much," she felt her mouth getting dry. Guilt was one feeling she knew very well, she felt guilty everytime she had tried to save someone and failed. The failure.

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He looked at her as she said death was hard on everyone. He smiled a little bit, a sad smile as his glance turned back towards the ground. He wanted to believe that there was a happy future to look forward to, but it didnt seem so simple. Minerva leaned in close to him and touched his cheek, "You're doing well dad, this is good," she told him but he wasnt sure. He wasnt sure about anything really, not when Abigal wasnt with him. He felt exposed and sad, with no way of hiding any of it, which was why he seemed so distant and not as aware.
"It was only a little while. I heard her heartbeat, and then another one inside her. Any man would have been fixed up and gone back to normal, right? Knowing that there's a new precious life on the way.." he paused, as he rubbed his mouth as if something was bugging him about it. He leaned a bit forward putting his elbows on his thighs holding his own arms, "But all I could think about was that I almost lost two and not just one. I could have lost the love of my life and our child," the words stung and he closed his eyes for a short while.
When he opened them again he cupped his hands to his mouth and exhaled quietly, "She might just up and leave me if I keep being like this," he realized as he then looked at Alycia, "I think that would hurt more than seeing her dead. Knowing I ruined this and made her so unhappy. All these random thoughts that slash and tear at my mind, reminding me that it's only my fault,"

» The broken promises
» Where do broken hearts go? Roy
» Broken mind - Kyung-wan
» How to mend a broken heart
» So about the broken window, I can explain