Sometimes the best way to move on, is to let go of the past

Outfit: Full outfit

As always, Aisha was gracefully late. She carried a small black bag over her shoulder which only contained the absolute necessities. She had dressed herself in a shirt, with a knitted pullover and some classic tight fitted jeans. She arrived at the apartment complex and rang the doorbell waiting for Shin to open up, so she could get inside. After all, she didn’t have a key to lock herself inside. That had been too much for now. She checked her phone for both time and battery. She was fifteen minutes late. She heard a dog bark inside which made her frown and take a step away from the door to make sure she was at the right place. But this was his place. Had he bought a dog? Oh, this was getting interesting.

Aisha stood and waited and could hear how a squeaky toy was picked up and she guessed it was thrown, since she could hear the small paws run across the floor. The door was opened, and she hurried inside. She had an idea that the dog wasn’t very good at following commands yet, and wouldn’t want to risk that it went outside. She returned both the hug and the kiss, but she didn’t let it last long since the dog jumped up at them. Aisha took a little step away from the dog, not liking the fact that it jumped like that. She barely realized what Shin was saying to her before the dog continued to follow her and eventually jump up at her, “Oh God,” she exclaimed and continued to move away. Her heart was beating quite fast from not knowing the dog and that it was just allowed to jump up at her with no consequence. “Shin, take it,” she exclaimed almost out of breath but just as she had said so, she made a little movement with her wrist by accident and the dog immediately fell asleep falling onto the floor. “Holy fudge!” She jumped away from the dog and tried to hide behind Shin. Her mouth hang a little open as she looked at the sleeping dog. She then looked up towards Shin and back at the dog, before she looked back at him again, “D-does it usually do that?” she asked him, not knowing the power she possessed.

Shin kneeled down to check on the dog. Aisha held her breath while he looked at it. She almost forgot to blink. As he said it had never happened before she looked worried at him. Shouldn’t they then go to the vet and make sure that it was alright, and it was nothing serious? What if it had passed out? Well, that was almost what it seemed like to her. Aisha frowned as Shin mentioned watching the movie instead. She knitted her brows together and had her mouth a little open in surprise, “But…” she gestured towards the dog, clearly worried about it. He assured her that the dog, Ringo, would be fine. She blinked a little and crossed her arms in front of herself as she accepted that he was confident in his choice. The dog was alright. Shortly after he put his arms around her and she rested her head towards his shoulder and slowly wrapped her arms around him. “I haven’t picked a movie,” she sighed. “We can just watch Shrek,” she said and let her nails run over his back ever so gently on top of his shirt.

Aisha closed her eyes, enjoying the few small touches she got and kissed him back as he agreed to watch Shrek. She took a bigger breath before she followed him and was gestured to the kitchen. She walked in there and looked at the different kinds of snacks. Some of them brought memories from Japan and some of them from Germany. Yes, some of the candy had been sent from her parents to Germany. Aisha was still troubled with receiving things. “Thanks, it’s very kind of you,” she said and picked up one of the bags with some biscuits in it. She looked towards him and brought the bag with her into the living room “I think I’ll just have some tea,” she replied back. She scratched her forehead a little and kept thinking about the dog. It couldn’t possibly be anything normal.

While he got her something to drink, she opened the bag of biscuits she had brought into the living room and took one of them. She studied the packaging and read on the back side of it. As he came back she took the cup from him so he could manage all of the things he was doing. She gently put the cup down on the table so it wouldn’t be in the way and could cool down so she could drink some. As soon as he pressed play she pulled her feet up on the sofa and leaned toward him. “How old is he? Your dog?” she mumbled and took his hand to play a little with his fingers while the movie started.

While Aisha was focused on his fingers he could think or count in his head. When she replied her eyebrows raised a little and she blinked a couple of times. “It’s a shame that people buy pets and can’t give them the attention which is needed,” she said and studied the skin on his fingers. She pulled on a light smile as she kissed her forehead. When he said there was something he needed to tell her she looked up at him, curious and slightly worried. She was about to get to know why he was so reserved.

She listened and didn’t take her eyes away from whim while he explained. His former girlfriend had been torn to pieces because some vampires and demons had wanted to have fun. It gave her goosebumps and she felt uneasy by the thought. It wasn’t difficult to see that talking about it brought back memories and it made tears spill from his eyes. Aisha was quick to move around so she sat on his lap instead of next to him. “It’s okay,” she mumbled and felt how her stomach turned. She dried his cheeks a little and leaned in to hug him and caress his back. “It must’ve been so difficult,” she mumbled. “I’m really sorry you had to experience that,” she said and almost felt like she couldn’t breathe. It was a tough stone to swallow that he had seen his former girlfriend die like that. Being a banshee she was used to death being attracted to her. It seemingly just had to be in her life, no matter what. She could never escape it. “I just… I don’t understand why that would be a reason for you to take it slow,” she mumbled and hoped that it was okay that she brought them back to the topic. “Wouldn’t it be easier to love faster and quicker, so you had the person you love for a longer time?” she mumbled only to add, “Instead of holding back and wasting time,” She took a deeper breath in. “Come, join,” she mumbled and took another deep breath, hoping that he would take some deep breaths with her and let the emotions be emotions.

It sounded like Shin was spiraling in thoughts. He believed everyone who was around him died in horrible ways, and the way he presented it, she believed him. He was unlucky and every relation he had had had been unlucky with their deaths.
He seemed to have no trouble with listening to her and following her guidance. She could feel how he leaned closer and caressed her back. She continued to take deep breaths and close her eyes. “I understand,” she mumbled and let him place his head on her forehead. She did her best to be positive, but something about how things had happened and been said made it difficult. It made her sad to see him this way. “We always want the best for the people we love,” she whispered carefully. “But sometimes, the world is against us,” she continued and let one of her hands caress his har.

He kissed her gently and she reciprocated it with a soft sigh. Somehow it seemed like it wasn’t as bad as he had started out with to show her, or maybe he just wished to change the subject. She shrugged a little before she slid of his lap to sit next to him again. “It’s been the usual,” she mumbled and leaned up against him. “Voices, running, assignments,” she sighed and tried to pay attention to the television. “Echo visited me at the academy,” she mumbled, “You know, the guy I befriended last Christmas?” she tried to remind him. “He was quite troubled when he arrived, but I think I managed to calm him down,” she explained and glanced towards Shin. “Besides from that, things has been the usual,” she exhaled and turned her eyes back to the movie. “What about your week?”

Aisha waited a little as it seemed like Shin had forgotten who Echo was, but occasionally he remembered. She shrugged a little as Shin wanted her to elaborate. “Well, I think so, but I’m not sure if he just pushed his ideas away or what,” she knitted her brows a bit. She might have to check up on Echo that he wasn’t going to be doing something stupid. She wouldn’t know what she should do if Echo suddenly wasn’t there or was taken captive or something. One thing she knew was that she was tight enough with him to know that she would be able to feel if died or was close to die – just like with Shin.

Shin stroke her hair, but after a while, she chose to take his hand to make him stop. She looked up at him as he told him about his day. She widened her eyes a little as he talked about Christmas with his mother. She smiled kindly as he said he had to talk with her first. She appreciated that. She wasn’t even sure she was ready to celebrate Christmas with him. Something about it just felt a little too personal. Almost as if they weren’t close enough with each other’s families to invade such a traditional and holy day. He had gotten his dog, of course, she knew that. He explained that his dog had been pretty calm. Aisha could argue with that because she didn’t think the dog was calm at all. It was energetic and young. Nothing that Aisha wanted to be a part of if she had to be honest. She would much rather have gotten an old dog.
“I don’t really know about Christmas, Shin,” she mumbled, “I know I’m the one who wanted things to go faster and all that, but… Christmas is just so personal and… I believe it might be a better idea to celebrate Christmas apart. Or at least with our own family,” she suggested. In her opinion Christmas was too precious and if you had family to celebrate it with, you should celebrate it with them.

“Youtube is going great,” she replied with a lighter smile. “People are so kind… Someone even commented that my songs saved their life,” she said with a little glimmer in her eyes. It had touched her to read such a comment.

Aisha pulled on a gentle smile as he said he didn’t want to push her. She believed him, but even though he had that mindset, she sometimes did feel pushed – even though he was taking it every easy and very calm. “Yes, I get that,” she said and felt a little conflicted. No, she felt guilty for saying no. “But I just don’t think that Christmas Eve should be a day for meeting new people,” she explained. Maybe she was scared of being judged – either by her parents or by Shin. Who knew? Maybe her parents thought she was stupid for choosing a mortal man to be her boyfriend. Honestly, having a boyfriend in general was new for her.

She smiled a little as he asked to see the comment, “Yeah,” she said and fished up her phone to go to her YouTube profile and find her song which quickly started to play. She used the buttons on the side of the phone and turned the volume down.


She started scrolling down to one of her comments, but couldn’t find the specific comment. “I know it’s here…” she mumbled before she stopped and went to her direct messages. It was in a private message, where the text said, that her lyrics had saved her fan from taking her life, because she had been able to see how she should handle things the right way.

She looked up at him as he mentioned New Years. “Yeah, that might be an idea,” she said. To her, New Years were quite more loose than Christmas. It was a bit more of a party. “But Melissa and I don’t talk that much,” she explained and pulled a little nervous smile. She might only have mentioned Melissa once. Echo, Caroline and Benjamin had been mentioned so often, that she was almost surprised he hadn’t mentioned them, but Melissa. Shin’s arm moved around her and he whispered three strong words and kissed her cheek. She pulled a little away with a chuckle as if it tickled her. But she didn’t say anything to the fact that he had told her that he loved him. She couldn’t say words she didn’t believe in herself.

Shin ended up telling her, that his thought about it was actually bringing up another double date. She raised her brows a little by the mention of it. She honestly believed that the first double date they had been on, had been so bad, that she had promised herself never to do such a thing again. It simply felt so odd and not really knowing anyone was just making it even weirder. She didn’t even know that Melissa had a boyfriend. He mentioned her other friends, the ones that she actually spoke a lot to and could categorize as her best friends. “I uh,” she blinked a little. Things were confusing her. She felt suffocated. Everything was becoming a little too much. She didn’t really get to reply whether or not she wanted to have the others with her, because she didn’t know, and she would have to think and call them herself. Shin mentioned hiking, and it felt like something in her heart made a spark. She wanted to go hiking. He added something with her next song. She got up from where she was sitting. “Sorry I just…” exhaled deeply. “I feel like I’m being suffocated,” she excused herself and wrapped her arms around herself, as if she hugged herself. If he was about to get up, she would kindly ask him not to get closer. She didn’t feel for hugs, kisses, or just simple touches.
“I’m sorry Shin. I can’t get comfortable right now, and I-” she licked her lips in stress. “I don’t think we should continue any of this. It’s too much for me,” she said and looked up at him. “I know you’ve been trying to keep with me, and you’ve done that so well,” her eyes looked to the coffee table shortly. “But I- I can’t keep up with the love you’re giving me,” she spoke in a hush tone. It was almost muted by the Shrek movie playing in the background. She had loved him for who he was, but it was almost like when she finally had gotten through his she’ll he was someone so different and the soft side of Shin was suffocating her. It wasn’t going to be healthy for her and she had to get out.

Aisha could see that he was hurt. She didn’t need any other senses to see that. It was how one would act when someone broke up or told the other part that they needed space. “A break, space… Something… I just…” She wanted to leave but she knew very well that it was best for her to stay just a little longer. She had to make sure he was going to be okay, because she wouldn’t be looking back when she first got out of the door.
She shook her head a little as he said he didn’t know what to say to her not being able to keep up with the love that he gave her. “You don’t have to say anything,” she said softly and pulled on a sad smile. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

She didn’t know what to say or think about his words. This was what she needed. She needed to know that he wasn’t depended on her, and of right now, he looked like his whole life depended on her. She didn’t want to be responsible for his happiness. He told her that if that was what she wanted there was no reason for her to stay. Was that it? She wanted to say something, but every word disappeared on her tongue. She blinked a little and backed away a couple of steps before she headed straight out the door, with whatever things she had brought with her, being careful of not stepping or pushing the dog as she exited.

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Out