I respect everyone but myself (TW)

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 2:56 pm

”I promise,” Roman whispered. He stayed still by her side while she seemed to relax some more. He tried not to move while she slept. He also dosed off a little, but never fully sleep. He was fully awake, when she started to wake too. Somehow, she reminded him a little of a kitten, as she rubbed her eyes like that. He met her gaze. ”Hey,” he spoke back, also speaking in Russian. He gently brushed some hair away from her cheek. ”How are you feeling?” He just kept talking in Russian. It was so rare he got the chance to speak Russian, so he took advantage it whenever he could.
He couldn’t tell for sure, but she seemed to do a little better. Sleep could really do a lot in terms of healing. Your body worked in a whole other way while sleeping, so it had the chance to heal and gain energy.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 3:16 pm

She closed her eyes shortly as he removed some of her hair, mostly because she wanted to be sure she didn’t get any of her hair into her eyes. The hazel eyes found his again and she pulled a slightly greater smile. “I think the painkillers did some wonders,” she replied, knowing it wasn’t really a reply to how she was feeling. It took her a little moment to collect her thoughts about that, “I’m okay,” she whispered. “But I think, maybe I should try and get something to eat. Do you by any chance have something? It doesn’t have to be anything special,” she assured him. If he removed his arm, she would roll to her back, and remove more hair with her hand before she would try and sit up without wincing.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 3:32 pm

Roman was glad she was feeling better. ”Good,” he said quietly and removed his arm from her. ”I can make something,” he promised her. He sat up in bed and looked at her over his shoulder. ”Just come out when you feel like it.” He left and went to the kitchen to see what he had to cook. He could do enough to be somewhat satisfied, but he also ate out more often than not. Luckily, he had brought the ingredients for a traditional Russian dish. He had cheated a little, and was not making it completely home-made, but it should be satisfying. About 10 minutes later, an aroma of beef stroganoff, the Russian way, would fill the entire apartment. Snow was already interested. Hopefully Stefanja would be too.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 3:54 pm

She sat up, not really succeeding with not wincing, but she got up to a seating position. She looked at him as he told her to take her time, “Thanks,” she spoke softly, “Don’t make a big deal about it,” she continued to speak in their native language because there wasn’t really a reason not to. She had this feeling that a bun with some butter might be more than enough for her stomach, or just some biscuits.
She took her time, rubbing her head a little, and slowly tried to get up from the bed, taking small steps and trying to stretch. It was incredible what so much tension could do to a body, just because it wished to protect her. It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes before she left the bedroom, but only to enter the bathroom and sit on the toilet. She was bleeding from a place she didn’t usually bleed from, and she could see it in the boxers she had borrowed. Luckily it hadn’t been much, but it was enough to make her cry silently. She chose to fill the boxers with toilet paper before she finished up. While she washed her hands, she could smell the dish he prepared. It made her close her eyes and take a deep breath. She dried her hands and put the cool hands on top of her red cheeks before she started to get out of the bathroom, supporting herself a little to the wall. “You’re going to have leftovers, Ro’” she laughed as she walked closer to the kitchen to see how the meal looked.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 4:11 pm

Roman might have gone a bit overboard, but he just wanted to spoil her a little. Hopefully it would be okay. He kept cooking, until it was time to let it rest and simmer. He turned down the heat a little, just as she came out. He looked at her when she spoke. ”Then you’ll just have to come back to eat again.” He smiled and started to find some plates and cutleries. ”You can stay as long as you need. Then I’ll drive you home when you are ready.” He could let her stay the night, but then he would have to return the car first. However, there was options for him to find another way of getting her home.
He should maybe tell her what he and Nayden had learned. But it was really not the right time to do so. He also didn’t know if he even believed it, even if Nayden did. He just wasn’t ready for yet another truth to turn around his entire life. He was just about getting used to the idea of supernatural creatures, and now he was maybe learning his family wasn’t even his family. No, he just couldn’t deal with that. And he was not going to act like he was a part of that family, until he knew for sure if that was true.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Jul 18, 2022 11:36 pm

Stefanja laughed a little as Roman told her to come back, “Alright, I can promise you that,” she chuckled. When she noticed that he was about to find plats and cutlery she wanted to help and with slow movements let her arms try and find the cabinet containing glasses. She looked toward him as he offered her to stay as long as she’d like. She pulled a tender smile, “Thank you,” she said with a soft voice before she turned her gaze to the cabinet she opened where she found them a glass each. He really didn’t have to drive her home. She could just take the train, it didn’t matter that much, did it? How bad could it be, standing in a Louis Vuitton dress on Southsides train station? Of course, right now she was wearing his clothing and she would rather burn the dress than look at it ever again. Loui Vuitton might not appreciate that. Shit. Fucking sponsors.
With a glass in each hand, she took small steps and got to the dinner table. She didn’t allow herself to be taken care of fully. She could help. She wished to help; she didn’t want to feel like a burden just because of the event. She put the glasses on the table and stopped for a moment as she thought about the breakfast she had gotten in the morning and how the table had been set. She got goosebumps, and if she hadn’t already put the glasses down, she would have dropped them. She stood by the table, secretly supporting herself to the table and the stool she had assigned for herself. Her eyes were shut and for a moment she felt like she didn’t know how to breathe. It wasn’t only the breakfast she was thinking about, but all the small things that happened in between, the talks, and what had happened right before they had had to walk downstairs. She felt like she was shaking, but her body stood completely still. What kind of nightmare fuel had she been fed?

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Tirs Jul 19, 2022 12:20 pm

Roman was happy the hear she wanted to come back. He arranged some of the food on the plates, while she was going to put the glasses on the table. He understood why she wanted to help a little. It was hard to get back to normal, if people kept coddling you. It would just make a person feel like, they were no longer a functioning human being. He wanted her to know that wasn’t the case for her. But maybe he had also coddled her a bit. It was just hard not to. He got the food ready and moved to the table. He put the plates down and looked at her. He could see something was wrong.
She seemed almost frozen as she stood there. He went to her and placed his hands on each side of her neck. ”Look at me,” he spoke softly. He hoped to get eye contact with her, then it was much easier to get through to her. ”You are here with me. Nobody can touch you here.” He knew how easy it was to be caught up in memories and emotions after any traumatic experience, but he would not let her crumble completely. He would be there with trowel and mortar to put her right back together. However, it long took. He didn’t know how to snap her out of this. He was really not suited to handle something like this, but he acted like he had wanted people to treat him when he was a child.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Ons Jul 20, 2022 12:10 am

She got slightly spooked as he touched her, even though she knew it was only him in the home. She had just been so full of her own thoughts. Her memories and what she could or should have done. How she could have acted differently would have saved her from the experience. Her eyes sought up to his. She closed her eyes as he spoke to her. She took a greater breath in before she exhaled, nodding. It was good that she had gotten some classes in breathing in her teen years. She wrapped her arms around him for a hug and let her and let the side of her face meet his chest. “Sorry I spaced out,” she whispered. She didn’t stand there for too long before she let go with a sigh. “Yes, food,” she said and nodded. “Are we missing anything?” she wondered and looked up at him, putting a hand on top of her stomach.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Søn Jul 24, 2022 12:15 pm

Roman removed his hands when she seemed to be scared because of it. He would love the ability to look through her mind now, taking all those awful thoughts of her and rationalizing with them, making them implausible. He could see how the focus returned to her eyes. He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her. He was not a person to hug a whole lot, but he was pushing his own feelings about such things away, and just did what might bring her comfort. ”You never have to apologize to me,” he told her and rubbed her back. ”No everything should be there.” He looked at her and put a hand on her cheek, calmingly brushing his thumb against it. ”We can stay like this for a moment, if you want.” He was aware this might not be the best way to act with your relatives, but he still had a hard time seeing her as that. To him, she was still just Stefanja, the girl who had lived next door to him.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Søn Jul 24, 2022 2:01 pm

The embrace seemed so warm and comfortable. She felt like she could stay there forever. She knew very much how Roman wasn’t really the big hugger, which only meant more to her, that he actually hugged her back. He told her that she never had to apologize to him, but she disagreed. If she did things that she felt sorry for, she wished to apologize for it, even though she from home had been taught to apologize for much more than what the usual person would apologize for.
Everything should be there on the table. When his hand found her cheek, she closed her eyes. It calmed her a bit more. She opened her eyes as he spoke again. Her cheeks got slightly warmer. “I’d like that,” she spoke softly before she let her hand remove itself from her stomach and let both her hands find their way around him again. “You’re so kind, Ro,” she spoke softly and looked at the table they had set. “I really appreciate all of what you’ve done,” she continued with a careful and soft voice. She was almost afraid that if she spoke too loud things were going to crack and the comfort would turn into a hell of some sort.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Tirs Jul 26, 2022 8:13 pm

Roman did agree, people should apologize if they felt sorry. But he also knew some people would apologize over the smallest thing. And what was happening to her now, was not something she should feel sorry for her. It was how she was working through the thing that had happened to her. That she still was able to stay here, talking was a sign of the strength she possessed. A strength that would often be missed by people but should be honored. Roman would never underestimate a person who was able to live through an abuse like hers. They possessed a strength he didn’t.
Roman let a soft smile appear on his lips. ”I try,” he said in a lowered voice. He was much warmer than he appeared to be with most. It was easier for him to be like this, if someone needed him to be. He was a natural protector, and if he felt he could protect someone or otherwise help them, he would be more open to them. ”I have tried having a hand put on me. It’s not the same, but I won’t let anyone be alone. Never.” He stroked her cheek and looked in her eyes. ”You know, people like to say men are the strongest gender. I’m not sure I agree. I don’t think many men would be able to live in the world women do. I know I wouldn’t. So even if everything seems hopeless right now, just remember than you are stronger than men.” He tried not to voice what had happened to her directly, but hopefully the message would come across.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Tirs Jul 26, 2022 9:07 pm

Stefanja noticed the small smile on his lips. She only knew the kind Roman. She had no idea how he could be with strangers, but maybe it was just because they only really met one on one or with other people, he was comfortable with. As he started to tell her that he had a story too, she looked up at him, meeting his eyes. She pulled a small smile, not that she liked the story at all, but she appreciated that he shared it. It made caring questions pop into her mind. When was it, had he been talking to someone about it and how was he handling it now?
She didn’t get to say much before he tried to cheer her up with his opinion about some sayings. Her smile widened the more he spoke. It warmed her and made her feel comfortable, even though there was some heavy truth in his opinions. She agreed that the world was harsh on women. A short-lived chuckle left her as he mentioned that if he was a woman, he wouldn’t be able to live in the world. She nodded at his last sentence and felt her eyes tear up a little, which made her take one of her hands to dry away some of the tears that had barely left her waterline. A short chuckle left her while she did so. “Have you considered becoming a poet?” she wondered and looked back up at him, “It’s some good heavy truths,” she added, nodding. She took the hand that had caressed her cheek and gently pulled it away from her cheek. “Thank you,” she said before she took a smaller step away, so their distance was a little more acceptable.

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Fre Jul 29, 2022 3:57 pm

Roman didn’t want Stefanja to see him in any other way. She likely wouldn’t either. Not directed towards her, at least. Hopefully he would never know who did this to her, otherwise he would not be able to stay away. It made him so angry, he could barely contain it. The only reason he was able to hold it in, was because he wouldn’t want her to be afraid of him. Roman had never spoken much about his past. He just didn’t want to open a wound, that had closed a long time ago. He thought it had healed itself, but the way he got angry and used violence to solve things, were signs he still had something unhealed in him.
Roman scoffed with a slight smile to her suggestion. ”I have a hard time imagining that.” He let her pull away as she needed. ”You’re welcome. Now, let’s eat.” He went over to sit down and put the two plates next to each other on the coffee table. He looked at Snow who had found a place right next to him. He shook his head, when he saw the puppy dog eyes. ”This is not for dogs,” he claimed. He stood up again and went over to find a small chewing bone for Snow, he placed it on the floor next to the table. The dog quickly went to work on the bone. ”He is like a food vacuum. If I should ever drop some food on the ground, he is there to pick it up right away.”

Emne: Sv: I respect everyone but myself (TW) Man Aug 01, 2022 9:25 pm

A small humming laugh left her. It didn’t hurt that much when she laughed so softly. It didn’t pull in muscles that were somehow connected to something else. “Let’s,” she said softly. Slowly she walked over to the place where she was supposed to sit. She glanced over at Snow who had found his side by Roman. Once again, a small, humming laugh left her at the way he spoke to the dog. Her eyes followed him caringly as he found a bone for the puppy. A soft, short-lived laugh left her as he explained how much Snow loved food. It tugged in some muscles that she didn’t even know she had. And she closed her eyes for a moment to let the pain settle. She reached forward, feeling how pain spread another place, but she bit the pain in and started getting food on her plate. “It must be nice with a food vacuum,” she mumbled, “There’s never something you have to dry up and such,” she continued with a slightly greater smile, trying to enjoy the moment, even though there were pain that pulled in her lower back, almost all the way down between her cheeks. “Does it work alright with having such an active dog with your work?” she wondered and glanced over at him as she put the utensils back so he could get something too.