Your Gravity

Hope's question had Ayah frozen for a second, like a cold slap across the cheek that had her paralyzed. At least till she exhaled, grounding herself, something she after all was very good at when something seemed to hit her a place where she found discomfort. The biggest part of Ayah wanted to run from it, as fast as possible, because she was so used to that. Then there was the part of her, who knew that her sister would understand perhaps more than many how it felt, at least some aspects of it. Yet, the words refused to leave her lips. Now, this wasn't as much of a thing of saying it to Hope, but more of vocalizing it. There was one person. One person she had ever told any of this that she also knew was around here in Gaia, but she also knew he wouldn't tell a soul. Not after the aftermath of it. "I almost had," she surprised herself as she had said something, something that forced her to actually keep on with the story. Ayah cursed and shamed herself inside her head as she then took a longer and sharper breath in. "I was in a relationship, a good believe it or not. And when we parted our ways, I travelled across sea - I wanted to see more of the world again I guess, or maybe I was searching for someone - I don't know, i's not really important," Ayah shook her head at herself trying to get to the point but her heart was racing, and the insides of her stomach twisted with discomfort. "I very late discovered I was with child back then. Which was before cellphones really became a thing, and not something I wanted to say through a letter, the plan was travelling back here once at least he was born," she took a sharper breath in. Because it had been the plan. Ayah had held no intention to actually keep anything from Cassian, if anything no matter what she would have given him the choice. But then everything had crashed down. "But, I had him for one whole day, before he was taken from me. I had the police out searching like crazy, and I couldn't do much myself. It took few days, before he was found. Dead. So, I never told his father about the episode. Because he didn't have to carry the weight of it all," she exhaled, feeling a set of salty tears on the tip of her tongue not really having realized she had begun to cry. "And he happens to be a person who also sometimes hang around the Blancard house. Not that Cassian and I actually have talked after, mostly because we haven't been in the same room yet - but there is very few people that knows this story, and it's okay. I can carry it," she gave him a small nod and a comforting smile. "I'm sorry if you looked for a better story -- I can find one.

As her sister started to speak, she reached out and took ahold of her hand. It felt so cold against her own warm callous hands. Even if she wasn’t a fire fairy like Mariella, her light had always felt, different than other light fairies that she had met. As if there were a heat burning underneath all of it, almost compared to the sun at times. Blinding, scorching and fiery. Maybe that could also at times explain her temperament, not really being able to contain it when she wanted too. Which was why she just removed herself from situations where it would be likely to flare up.
Just like Ayah had listened to her, she did her sister the same curtesy, even if there were so many questions that started to pop up. She had lost a child as well, finding it dead after one day of having it in her arms. She, if anyone, understood the travesty a mother felt when she lost a child, it didn’t matter how short of a period it was in the world. The moment that you realized that it had started to grow, you loved it and cherished it. Unless you of course had decided not to keep it.
“You should take your own advice” she said with a small smile, actually knowing a little about Cassian long before they had found each other, one didn’t live in the supernatural world and didn’t know about Cassian and Killian Jones. Especially not in her line of work.
“Talk with him, even if you think it might bring him pain, but you clearly still carry it around for so long, and you don’t have to do it alone, you really don’t” she said with a smile titling her head a little. “Did they ever figure out who did it?” she asked, pressing her brows together. Mostly because the case sounded so familiar, not that she knew about this particular one. “It just, it seems familiar, the case I mean” she mumbled, letting her finger glide over one of her brows.

Ayah took a sharper breath in, well yeah her own advice did sound much easier said than done. And she knew that. There wasn't any part of her that actually believed deep down that Cassian would be too angry at her for not having told her, then again, Ayah always did believe people would be angry at her, for one or the other reason. It was easier to expect people to get angry than be surprised when they were."Talking to him makes it real, and he is happy now, so why ruin that?" She took a sharper breath in. "It happened over a hundred years ago, its an old scar, and yes sometimes it hurts, but I will be okay," she nodded. "But it the chance comes up, I will talk to him," she assured. Because maybe she would. Who knew. "No they didn't, but things weren't really that great back then, police corrupted and everything - I never stood a chance, I was just hysterical as they would say." Because back then, you could just get another child. It wasn't any big of a deal. Ayah knew it sounded familiar, she knew it had happened to Primrose. Which was one of the reasons why she had asked Ace about her, mostly to make sure that she was alright after the events. "The Maggie case? Yeah I've heard about that one," now Ayah hadn't really seen the person who had taken her son back then, so she couldn't really say it was the same person, other than she knew it held a lot of unsolved cases.

Hope couldn’t help the small curl that formed over her lips, twisting them upwards in a small smile. She shook her head and closed her eyes for a moment. He is happy now, why ruin that. She could say exactly the same with Jamie. Wasn’t he happy now as well? He had Sariel. And who was to say what kind of emotions that would be developing when meeting once again. He could either get angry, or they could tread into territory where it would be hard to push the feelings that once were, away.
“Oh Ayah” she whispered as she told her that it was an old scar and shook her head. “Scars like that, never fade away, never” she licked her lips, Jamie wasn’t the first man that she had gotten children with. And just like those she had gotten with Jamie, they were no longer here on this earth. Then she nodded when Ayah asked if she meant the Maggie case. “Well, it wasn’t just the Maggie case, it is far deeper than that, there are communities where they bring children up, some know what they are and others are just tested to make sure what kind of capability they have – but I remember there were a lot of kidnappings happening within the supernatural community” she shrugged and drank the last of her coffee. She didn’t know much, but she knew enough for the reason she had worked with both Charles Jones and Elroy and Vidar.

Scars like that never healed, and didn't she know it. Ayah collected scars like some people collected stamps, and every time some thing took a turn for the worst she would find a way to punish herself - she was good at that. Digging deeper Hope mentioned something more about the Maggie case, or well how it was more than that. "It's awful," she let out a small sigh. Because well Ayah could relate to waking up and suddenly have your child missing, the fear, everything that followed. What a horrible hurricane season her grief had cost the state back then. Ayah slowly tugged her lower lip back with her front teeth for a second caught in the memories. She closed her eyes for a brief second as she released the grip on her lip, and took yet another and deeper breath in. "I'll just crack a window," she excused herself and got up from the seat and walked towards the nearest window to open it, letting the fresh air in to calm and sooth her so she wouldn't fall completely apart.

Hope observed how Ayah reacted, making a small court nod as she told her that she would open a window. At first, she was debating whether she should do something or not, the constant battle between wanting to be there and not overstepping the boundaries that there might were. Just because they were sisters, they had spent more time apart than together. So, in that sense, they were still trying to figure out who each other were, and that took time and there needed to be built a trust that just didn’t automatically exist if they had grown up together and been a part of each other’s life the entire time.
But despite all of these thoughts forming in Hope’s head, she decided to rise from the couch and walk towards her sister. She placed a hand against her shoulder and gave it a small squeeze “hey, come here” she mumbled, and tried to guide Ayah to turn around so she could hug her. “You really shouldn’t carry this alone” she mumbled, not like she did. It was a punishment that wasn’t something one should put on oneself. At least not like she did to herself at least, but that was mostly because that was how she had lived her entire life. Cut off, emotionally distant and withdrawn. Ayah wasn’t like that, she was open and loving, and when people were that they also got more emotionally attached and that usually ended up with so much more hurt to carry around.

The fresh air was like a comforting hand. One of the reasons she liked visiting mountains and other sorts of lookouts. The way the wind felt brushing against her skin was just like a second friend, a comfort she sometimes counted on when she felt like it was just her against the world. And Ayah noticed that Hope walked towards her, yet at first she didn't look at her sister. She was busy just letting the small breeze travel through her hair and dance over her face. It wasn't till Hope placed a hand against her shoulder and guided to turn Ayah a bit around, then placing her arms around her. Ayah took a sharper breath in and held it while putting her arms around Hope, then exhaling like she just let Hope in. "But I've gotten so good at it," she tried to joke a little just staying in the embrace for a few moments longer, then pulling back looking at Hope. "We are far to good at that," Ayah breathed out shaking her head a little at both of them.

Hope couldn’t help letting out a small chuckle when Ayah told her, that she had gotten so good at it. Maybe it was the nature of the problem that was so familiar to her, so she couldn’t do anything else than agree. They had gotten too good at hiding away the pain that they were carrying on their shoulders, weighing them down in a way no one would ever be able to understand. Maybe that was the thing about loneliness, being so aware that no human would ever think, or feel the same no matter how alike they probably were.
She nodded as her sister got out of her embrace and gave her a slight encouraging smile. “We really are, but I think that’s what you referrer as human nature” she hummed, she had yet to meet a person that truly just opened themselves up and told about their problems. Even if they had gotten a very long way with how one view the psyche of a complex thinking being. “What time is it even” she turned her wrist and looked at her watch, quarter to five. Licking her lips, she looked back up at Ayah “Want to find something to eat?” she asked, tilting her head “My treat” she added, indicating that they could go out and get something nice that they hadn’t been slaving over to make for them both.

Human nature. How did one even define that? Not a question that Ayah would get onto now, she could wait with that. Her eyes turned towards her own watch when Hope asked what time it was, not that Ayah had kept much sense of time before Hope had arrived, but time had past so fast since they had started counting. And suddenly it was like the whole day was over soon. More or less. Ayah turned her eyes back to Hope when she asked her if she wanted to find something to eat. Then nodding a little, "sure thing, could be fun," she replied taking the chance to actually spent time with her sister like normal sisters would do, go out and grab food and stuff like that. "What are you in the mood for?" Ayah then wondered, because when it came down to it, the sisters knew so little of each other by now.

Hope walked towards the jacket that she had placed by the couch and then turned when Ayah asked what she was in the mood for. “Well, I heard that there is a nice vegan restaurant not far from here, we could try that?” Hope asked, not that she was vegan herself. But in these days’ vegan food had become rather delicious, and it was clear when you were home by their mother a very healthy plant-based food was something that was highest on the menu. Or if the marked had some eggs or other things that had been caught that day. As Hope thought back, she recalled something about Juniper talking about that the meat industry now adays were horrible. And then Hope had to be honest and say she had stopped listening, as she just ate whatever had been the easiest. Besides, she had been married to a shapeshifter, not that it was the same as a werewolf, but it came close - especially when you were as active as Jamie. “Unless you of course now another restaurant nearby that is good?” she said and put on her jacket so she was ready to go. Now that they were talking of food, she could feel just how hungry that she was.

Hope mentioned there was a nice vegan restaurant not far from where Ayah lived, so it seemed like a good choice. Ayah was far from a picky eater, and she always loved seeing how chefs made their menus and got everything set. So, when Mariella had talked about how one of her brothers wanted to have his own restaurant and all she had been very curious, but she had held herself back i the neck for not asking too many questions or anything, because well once Ayah had set herself passionate about something - it was very hard to stop her again. "We can go there - its fine with me," she assured her sister with a warm smile. Ayah stopped by the mirror in as she put on her shoes, correcting her hair a little bit, luckily she had not chosen to wear any make up that needed a touch up after all the crying, so she could at least look like someone who you wanted to have with you going out. And I should be ready," she  put on her jacket and the turned around while putting her arms in the sleeves and looked at Hope with a brighter smile. "Let's get out of here," ayah chuckled a little and moved to exit the door so she could lock it behind them.

“Cool”, Hope answered as Ayah said they could go, and it was fine with her. But as she was putting on her jacket, she stopped midway.  “Cool, my god, who even says that” she laughed, shaking her head as she walked into the hallway where Ayah was putting on shoes. “I think the young people at Athena are starting to rub off on me”, she chuckled; even though it was quite the chance of pace, it was still something she enjoyed a lot. Maybe she would change her mind when she was a couple of more months in, but as of right now, it was one of the better decisions she had made.
Hope put on her shoes and nodded to the fact that she was ready to “Let’s go”, she said with a soft smile, walking outside the house, letting her eyes glide over the street while Ayah made sure that her door was closed securely. Then she gave her sister another smile before she started walking towards the small restaurant that wouldn’t be more than ten minutes away, which was a lovely walk when the weather was finally getting warmer. “The weather really is nice today”, she mumbled, one of those things you said when you didn’t want there to be complete silence but had no idea what else to say in the moment.