Your Gravity

Date | 25th of March
Time | Noon
Weather | Sun is shining, it’s getting warmer
Place | Ayah’s house in Grounds of Lily  
Attire | Outfit

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Somethings just wouldn’t stay hidden. Even though you became an expert in not telling anyone anything. Not opening your heart, not even remotely to let someone see what was hiding on the other side of your well-guarded heart and mind. She couldn’t even recall how many times she had tried to almost die at this point. What it had almost cost her to care so much for someone that would end up with her putting herself in a situation where it made her vulnerable.
It had felt like a cruel joke, when she had found out that her youngest sister was a Blanchard. Which made her the adopted sister of Jamie Blanchard. Her former husband, the father of her two children that had passed some years ago. Nearing three years. Was it already so long?
Now, at one point there was no room, and she knew that it was time to open up and let someone see just how scared she was and felt.
Hope lifted her hand and knocked on Ayah’s door, not even knowing if she was home or not. But even if they were always the two that argued the most, and never really ended up seeing eye to eye. It was also them that had formed the closets bond, maybe it was because they were the two that didn’t already have a family to turn to. Their mother that had Reginald that was also connected to the Blanchard’s, and then there was Mariella that had grown up with all her brothers and now was a part of that too. Then the Radclyffee pack, Leon and Mariella seemed to get closer by the day. So, in a way, it made it easier for Hope to lean towards the person that just like herself, had lost so much in the sense of family. Licking her lips, she looked over her shoulder, before turning her head towards the door as it opened. “Hello, is this a bad time?” she asked, pressing her hands down her pockets giving her sister a half smile.

Outfit
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She had almost just sat down. Finally gotten her legs up when realizing she had to think about dinner soon enough, a soft sigh left her before just dropping fully down into the couch for a moment. Maybe she should just take text Willow if she was off work? The thought was there. It was already over a week if not almost two since Mateo had reentered her life again, shit time went on fast. It was even longer now that they had discovered the whole thing about her father and who he was. The whole family history book being opened back up. But other than that. She had just walked around town, gotten back here, sat down and reflected on her life and the things she could and couldn't remember. Closing her eyes for just a second she heard the knock on her door, which made her jump back up, almost tripping by the speed she moved. Air fairies did have a flair for trying to be everywhere at once. Finally she made it to the door, avoiding the door frame by an inch, then opening, surprised to see her older sister in the door. "Hope," she shook her head, "not at all, come on in," she moved a little aside giving Hope a smile, before letting her get inside the house and closed the door again. "I didn't know you were in town, what brings you?" She wondered, well Hope rarely did anything without some extra thought to it now did she?

Hope nodded while she took a breath in, stepping over the threshold and looked around. Had she even been here? She wasn’t sure for a moment; shit she had really been all over the place the last couple of months. Her fingers found her neck, as Ayah asked her what she was doing here. “Well, I thought about, the whole opening up and sharing things...” she whispered turning her body, so she faced her sister giving her a small smile, even though it didn’t stay on her lips for long. “And then I thought that maybe you were willing to spare a cup of coffee for your older sister” she asked, taking her hands out of her pockets letting her hand glide through her dark shoulder length hair. The only thing that she didn’t share with her siblings, the bright red hair, her own a little darker and dull looking.
She wished that she was better at sharing things, she really did. Because somewhere in her mind, she knew that it would make things better. Or at least easier to walk around with the baggage that she carried everyday alone. But one thing was knowing that you didn’t need to do so any longer, another thing was actually allowing yourself to open up and let someone in. Hopefully she could do that today. Even if it was a small step, it was still a step the right direction.

Ayah clicked her tongue a little bit, opening up and sharing things. Now, yes Ayah did share some things, but she was a master in telling yet hiding a whole bunch. Never letting people know too much was sort of the key to how she had gotten around most of the time. Perhaps it was why the two sisters did end up in each others hair so often, they were both so similar and at the same time completely different. "I can always spare a cup or two," Ayah gave Hope a little wink before bouncing towards the kitchen, "just make yourself at home," she turned her head a little back. Then putting the coffee on, picking up the cups and waited for the machine to be ready to make the brew. Once ready, she picked up the cups of coffee and headed towards couch, and sat down before placing the two cups on the coffee table. "Well, for one I could be better at sharing a little as well, so how about we do it together, might do the both of us some good?" Ayah suggested with a warm smile, perhaps the whole thing about having seen Mateo again had also opened up a few wounds that she hadn't really opened up about till she had realized they still were sore. Ayah took her own cup and sat herself a little bit more comfortably and looked towards Hope. "How have you been feeling, after everything in the beginning of the month?" she then asked, started at least a place where she knew just a little bit about what could go on in Hope's head. And everyone started somewhere.

Hope nodded and a smile seemed to blossom on her lips again. “Then I would like one, and thank you” she said, turning around looking around the house that she had been welcome into. Making herself at home, she wasn’t even sure if she understood the meaning fully. Even though it had only been three years since she had been having a home for over eleven years even, it was still such a foreign thing now. Mostly because she had used the last couple of years moving around, never staying at a place to long, no more than a couple of months, tops. So, this was already far longer than she had indented. Even if she had found her family, there was still that part of her that was so afraid that it would be taken away from her, which made her think it was better to just keep moving.  
“Sounds like a start” Hope breathed out, looking away from the painting she had been looking at towards her sister standing in the kitchen. “Like I couldn’t really get a grip on myself, then I ran into our father again, luckily a friend stopped me from tearing him apart” she mumbled, breathing out she shrugged “I had hoped that I might find something in him, that reminded me of the man that had raised me, but, well” she licked her lips giving Ayah a sad smile. “It’s been weird, we are almost three months into the year, and I already feel like our world has been turned upside down at least twice by now” she expressed, realising that she was talking more than she normally did. A small chuckle left her, before she walked towards the kitchen to see if there was anything she could do.

Now Ayah hadn't been face to face with their father like Hope or Mariella - or Hope for that matter twice had now, which made her blink a little. She couldn't imagine how it would be like seeing him really. Because she had some sense of memories, or at least her mind had created some memories on how she wanted to remember him. But it was so long ago and had been to repressed by the trauma of losing him that, she wasn't even sure if what she remembered was correct or just her imagination. Maybe it was the part of Ayah who had been trapped in cages and forced into versions of herself that knew how you could almost lose your sense of self that wondered how their father might be scared too, she didn't need Mariella's powers to have a extra thought out on how people might feel too. And maybe it was easier, because she hadn't seen him, she just knew he was out there. "Yeah, I know what you mean, sometimes I feel like I'm stuck in a loop of the past months just going round and round," she poured up the coffee and handed the cup to Hope, "there you go." Then taking her own before heading towards the living room again. "I mean I can't even begin to think how weird and awful it is for you, when i comes down to it I remember pieces. But then I again I was just a kid, my strongest memory was always to find you, took a little longer than I wanted it to, but here we are," still maybe Ayah had found comfort in being around their mother, even if she didn't remember them, because losing the people who had raised her was just another cross she wished not to carry but had to. And being in the garden made her forget that pain, at least just for a while.

Hope nodded. Understanding better than she wanted too, when Ayah spoke about being stuck in a loop. “Thank you” she mumbled taking the cup of coffee that was handed to her. Placing both her hands around the warm ceramic, walking with Ayah towards the living area and placed herself in sofa. A small chuckle left her, as her sister commented on the fact that she couldn’t even imagine how it was for her. Licking her lips, she looked up at her sister letting out a small sigh. “I can be honest enough to say that it hasn’t been easy, and I’ve been closing myself more off because of it” she answered, knowing it might not come as a surprise. Taking a sip of the coffee before she put it down on the coffee table. For a moment she just sat there, before she looked back up at Ayah. “Just like you, I’ve lived in this world for long enough to have lived a couple of lives” she started, licking her lips. Now she had made no illusions about the fact that Ayah also had secrets that she hadn’t shared nor wanted to share. Which by Hope’s own view was something that was up to Ayah. “But one of those lives have come back, and made it a little difficult to live this one” she knew it was cryptic but she needed to ease into it. “I had another name” she dragged the words out blinking a little before her eyes looked towards the coffee wondering if maybe another sip before she told it but decided to rather just rip off the band aid “My name was once, McKenna Blanchard” she whispered looking up towards Ayah “I was married to Jamie Blanchard” she then added, knowing that Ayah had spent far more time over at were Mariella lived. Then there was the fact about her being good friends with Jamie’s new girlfriend.

Pasts coming back to haunt you. Well, she knew about ghosts coming back, but mostly Ayah managed to find a way out of them and sometimes the ghosts weren't even that bad. But what made this ghost so much more difficult than so many others? But she didn't ask, because in this situation it was best to just let Hope talk and get what ever was bothering her off her chest. My name was once, McKenna Blanchard, Ayah nodded, not really at first picking up on what it meant. Then slowly it hit her. McKenna was the name of - and just as it hit her Hope picked up the penny that had dropped. Hope had been married to Jamie? She licked her lips a little bit, processing the information she just had gotten. Sariel and her had talked about the entire thing with Jamie and his trauma of losing his wife and kids. Then another penny dropped. If Jamie had lost his children, in the most unspeakable way one had to add, it meant Hope had lost her children as well. Ayah breathed a little bit out and folded her lips for a moment, then reaching her hand out and gave Hope's a squeeze. "I'm so sorry," now she hadn't gotten every detail down - but she knew enough. And all she really wanted to do was to put her sister into her embrace, but she was also so terribly afraid of over stepping. "I'm so sorry that happened to both of you," she added as well. Ayah didn't have any children, but she had been pregnant before - well that had been taken care of as people said back then, but not really in a way she enjoyed thinking back on. But what Jamie and Hope had experienced she didn't wish for anyone to even come close to experience. She also knew Jamie had been out hunting some of the vampires who had done it, well months ago by now - it was one of the reasons why Sariel and Jamie had kept on talking and ended where they were today. Then of course there was the whole part of Ayah knowing they should inform not just Jamie but also Mariella - but for now everything in that sort could wait.

Hope took a couple of deep breaths, looking down at their hands. She was sorry too. Because for a moment they had been having the perfect life. The biggest reason why she had left, was because she wasn’t ready to see them fall apart. Because they would, they would have ended up feeding each other’s hatred, and it would have destroyed more than it would heal. Even if he had every right to hate her, if he was ever aware that she was still alive. She would still stand by her choice, because in the end it was the best, she could do for him. Because that woman he had married, would never be able to come back again. And she would have resented him, and blamed him for their children’s death, which was something he didn’t deserve.
“I was declared dead on the scene, because of the screams police was rather quickly on the scene, I was gone before he ever reached me, after that it was so easy to disappear to USA where I followed the first leads on the vampires that killed our children” she finally looked up and blinked a little. What else could she really say? “I just know now that I can outrun what I did anymore, not when he is back here, and not when Mariella is know his sister” she whispered, not really knowing what she could do now. Which was such a weird feeling for her, because she always knew what to do and when to do it.

Ayah listened further into the story, about how Hope had been declared dead on scene. She could only imagine the screams of pain, well she could actually imagine them rather well, seeing it wasn't that long she had heard the echos from the events of what had happened to the village. The first leads on the vampires, oh yes, the vampires that Jamie also had hunted. She nodded a little bit. Understanding something about getting revenge on the people who harmed you, wanting them to pay. Yet, Ayah herself had never been strong enough to actually repay anyone for the damage they cost her, or maybe she in some sense was strong for letting it go- who was to say? Ayah licked her lips a little bit, well it was true, Hope couldn't outrun this past, not when it was so closely involved to them. It was a weird situation. Not even Ayah really knew what to say in the situation. But now she had come to know Jamie a little, as well as Mariella. And she knew that Mariella was like the least judgmental person, and of course she could understand if their youngest sister would find it completely insane, but there wasn't a part of Ayah that could see Ella actually not just take it in. Maybe it was a lot at once for sure, but Mariella could manage this, couldn't she? Ayah hoped so. Jamie on the other hand, she had no idea on how he would take things. The only thing she knew was that Sariel and Jamie was trying to find their new routine with Jasmine in their lives. But maybe it would be a good time for Jamie to know as well, now that his mind wasn't stuck in the past? "It's gonna be a weird conversation for sure, and its going to be rough on both of you I'm sure, but maybe its time," Ayah licked her lips a little bit giving her older sister a small but warm smile. "Whenever you are ready and want to tell either of them, and if you don't want to do it alone. I wouldn't mind coming with you, if you want me to," not matter what it was always nice to have someone driving the car if things got too much, so they could get away again.

Hope nodded slowly when her sister mentioned that it was something that was going to be rough for the both of them. Her eyes looked up giving her a light smile, she was always amazed by herself that she was still connected to the light. The darkness had called her so many times, humming in her ear telling her that there was greater magic to be found on the other side. Power that would help her take her revenge. But she was still here, with the light in her heart begging her to remember who she was and what a girl that her mother had raised. But that was maybe also one of the reasons why it was so hard now. Because her mother couldn’t remember her anymore. Her father was a master criminal, and she wouldn’t put it passed it all that Acacia would come knocking at their doors any time soon.
Maybe that was also one of the reasons why she had tried to see if she could hide this. Because she knew that things were getting too much for her youngest sister Mariella. Even if they didn’t speak this much, she still knew. Call it mothers intuition connected with the fact that she was still Mariella’s sister by blood.  
“I would love if you came with me” she whispered giving Ayah a small smile. Knowing that she wouldn’t go if it was only herself. So moral support would be much apricated. “Now that we are sharing, it might be a good time in telling you that I also know Ace, rather well” she mumbled, taking in a deep breath and as she exhaled, she looked towards her sister’s eyes.

Ayah didn't much as her sisters worry the same about Acacia and Heath, o not in the same way at least. She knew it was something they needed to be aware of could happen, but Ayah was used to be in situations where she didn't know what was to happen next and somewhat expect that something horrible could wait around the corner. And sometimes you reached a point in your life where you just wanted to ask the devil if it was the best he could do. And no, she didn't really look the part, but sometimes the warmest smiles did hide rather dark secrets.
It warmed Ayah's heart some way down the line that Hope took her offer, because it meant that she was needed in some way, and it was nice to know that you could help your sister. Even if the situations were anything but normal. "Then I will do that," she nodded with a warmer smile. Then someone else came into play. Ace. Ayah pressed her brows together for a moment and took a slightly deeper breath in, now Ace hadn't said anything when she had showed the picture she had showed him of her sisters. But his face had told he knew at least one of them, but she hadn't been able to figure out how and what the relation was. But now she did. "I see - and rather well?" Ayah pressed her brows a bit together, perhaps it had been the reason why the tension between her and Hope had been so intense on that car right home. "I met Ace back in 1624, my friend Mateo had just helped me escape the place where we were held as slaves for some years... and I was the only one that got away, so I ran... and I ran till I ran into Ace and he helped me. We just stayed friends after as well," she then shared well after she had opened the wound from the past a little to Sariel, it seemed easier to share with Hope as well. Even if it wasn't in detail.

Hope nodded slowly, because she wasn’t even sure how to categories the relationship she had with Ace. It wasn’t like the young people would call dating, or boyfriend and girlfriend. They just, saw each other and was intimate every now and then. That was it. Mostly because both of them were so damaged when it came to how they viewed romance and love. It would take time, and who knew where they would be when it was all over. If they would even be able to look at each other. She wasn’t really sure where she had him, that was maybe the main reason why she had no idea how to answer the question her sister had asked, with so few words.
That was, an awfully long time Ayah had known Ace. She let out a soft sigh, not knowing how to take the news. At least it didn’t hurt like it did last time. Or so she made herself believe. “You were held as a slave?” she asked softly, changing the subject somewhat, the concern in her eyes were so clear. It wasn’t often that you found Hope express emotions this clearly. Which in itself told a story what she felt about the matter. Not only had she been held as a slave, but her friend hadn’t been able to make it away like she had. “I’m sorry” she whispered, letting her hand fold around her hand giving it a soft squeeze. “Want to tell me a little about it?” she asked, wanting to let her sister in, open up so they could both understand each other better.

Ayah nodded a little to confirm to Hope that yes had been held as a slave. She had to look away from her sister's eyes for a second as the concern Hope expressed somewhat knocked her back over, not expecting to be pushed back into the wound of it right now either. Ayah licked her lips a little bit before looking back at Hope again as she mentioned she was sorry and she gave Ayah's hand a little squeeze. It was a long time ago, but speaking about it sometimes made it feel like Yesterday. "We were held at a slave plantation for five years, give or take. I was taken way better care of than many of the others," she had seen so many people of color being treated so badly only because of their skin color. But it wasn't like as a woman you had much to say about it, if anything back then. And it had made her so sick to watch, but the second she had tried to even speak about it things had just gone down hill. "But we were only a few white maids held there, the men liked that when they got home late after being in the fields, and they sure liked to know what sort of value we had to make sure if they could sell us they would get the best price," she shook her head a little bit just thinking about the amount of hands that had touched her over the years, just over that time she had been there. Told to behave, not disagree or even look at someone. "But it's in the past. There is only one of my ghosts that I'm concerned about in the moment," she confessed taking a sharper breath in. "You've heard about Anthony Kingsnorth?"

She nodded slowly as Ayah started explaining. Now, being in a situation where you as a woman didn’t have much to say, that was something she too could relate to. Not that it had been in the same harsh environments, even though it had almost cost her, her life. But that wasn’t a tale for now, or if ever.
Even though something was in the past, it could sometimes be hard to put it away. Especially if something, or someone brought it up as if it had only just happened. Or if you hadn’t had the opportunity to talk about it. Which was something that Hope as well, knew a little too much about. Something she wasn’t proud of, but it was still not something that she would be able to just turn around. Then Ayah mentioned that there was only one of her ghosts that she was concerned about. Now, they had taken care of Jasper, or someone had, so he wasn’t really someone that they needed to worry about anymore. Anthony Kingsnorth. Hope nodded slowly. Now it wasn’t a man that she had crossed paths within that sense, but it was a name that you did well in remembering. Specially to avoid him.
“Yes, what of him?” she asked, narrowing her eyes a little, tilting her head as she waited for her sister to elaborate on why he was an issue. Even though the older fairy had her idea about that already.

Ayah licked her lips a little bit, "well it's an old story. Going back to 1918, where I met him in New Orleans - started talking to me, we got to know each other. And somewhere down the line I found myself in a situation I couldn't escape from, or even dared trying to escape from really," she folded her lips a little bit. It had been four odd and completely terrifying years. "I reckon I got myself too deeply entangled with him, like I have a stupid habit of doing" she mumbled the last part a little bit, aware of her flaw in her code - the need to provide and be useful, the need to fix something or someone. Then there was the times she just ended up being caught in a trap where she couldn't get out again, like Jasper, like Anthony. "It was a stupid thing looking back at it, but I don't know. My mind shuts off, like it knows that the situation can be dangerous, so it just goes along with it, because that is how I survived the past times," she licked her lips a little bit shaking her head. Many would perhaps find her stupid, "he wanted me to teach him how to love, meaning I could learn to love him if I could teach him. So, he held me in this mansion for four years. There were a few maids that went by sometimes, but other than that he went by whenever he wanted, it took me four years before I escaped - and now I learned he is in Southside, which is annoyingly close - and I look over my shoulders sometimes, almost expecting him to be there and make me pay for leaving." Ayah took a sharper breath in shaking her head a little bit closing her eyes. Because she thought she sounded so naive and stupid, when she heard herself telling the story, even if she knew she wasn't.

As the story went along it was clear that Hope took in the story, and she wasn’t happy about hearing about it. Not that she blamed her sister for being foolish. She understood a thing or two about getting entangled in people’s lives, and then have no idea how to get out of it again. Sometimes ending with extreme resorts to make sure that people wouldn’t come looking for you. Either meaning you had to die, or they had too.  
But this Anthony sounded like a real piece of work, wanting her to teach him how to love? Who even thought like that? That it was something that could be taught if it had already been destroyed. Either by not getting love from a young age, or if you were just born unable to know what it was. Then the worst part came, well of course he was in Southside, and once again her sister had to keep looking over her shoulder, afraid that he would one day come knocking on her door. “I see” she whispered, not really knowing what she could say to make it better. Other than she was sorry, once again, that it had happened to her. “I can see what I can do about this Anthony situation, I have contacts that might be able to help, at least so you don’t have to look over your shoulder and use your magic to make sure that he doesn’t just show up without you at least knowing” she said with a hint of a smile, that might as well not have been there as it disappeared again.

Ayah licked her lips a little bit, "thanks - but just knowing what he is up to or his whereabouts is also just enough to keep myself out of his hair," she nodded a little bit. "I've been hiding for people more than once, besides - I have a few good contacts as well, and I have a few potions at my disposal," once she had shared a few of her fears with Antionette, the witch had helped with a few potions and a promise she would see what she could do about keeping Anthony away. So, even if you had a strong witch in your corner, Ayah had never been one to just sit in a locked room and wait forever, she needed to break free and live otherwise she would go insane - and she had been far to close to that point beforehand. "I have my house spelled actually, no one can get inside with me having invited them in first," she then told while looking around a bit before looking back at Hope. It was about time she had thought that one out after her whole Jasper situation as well.

She nodded giving a slight smile looking down at the cup of coffee that there was in her hands. Maybe it had also been a way for Hope wanting to help, be of use of some sort. Maybe that was what it was all about. The constant fear of the people she let in, finding a way to just leave. That had also been the reason why she had left Jamie behind, letting him believe that McKenna had died that day. Because he had left her when things had gotten tough. Of course, there were too sides of that story, but if there was something Hope feared, it was just that. Abandonment.
“That’s good, I’m glad to hear that you’ve taken the precautions to make sure that you are safe” she whispered, then chuckling a little “and just like so many people thought was how you could know if a vampire tried to get inside” she shook her head, all these rumours and different views on the supernatural that had been brought to light for the humans through film. So many of them having it wrong, but it was better to let some of it be in a shroud of mystery especially since many humans had no idea that all of this was real. Sometimes she wished that she could be a normal human too, just having their problems for a moment instead of dealing with all of the shit that had been thrown their way lately.

"At least a few -" out of everything she hated being afraid, but she was. With everything that was going on, who could even hold it against her? At least she got a decent amount of sleep even if her bad dreams had a way of haunting her making her sometimes more tired than she cared for. It had really been like that since Sariel had moved out, and Ayah now again lived alone. Not that she ever would say that, because the last thing she would want was for Sariel to feel guilty. And Ayah just needed to get over herself. "Oh yeah, I recall that," she chuckled. The mundane and how they thought and theorized about the supernatural was funny sometimes. "You know that I'm all over the moon to have you back into my life right?" She pressed her brows a little bit together, not really remembering having vocalized it. So much had happened, and yes they were like yin and yang at times. "Because I am. And I have been looking - okay maybe not as long as you have been seeking around, but I never stopped looking for you either. Not that we ever will be able to get back the time we've lost. But we have a chance for new memories." Even though some of the hard parts, it didn't matter how many years that past them.

Hope blinked a little as Ayah told her that she was happy to have her back in her life. For a moment it was like someone sucked all the air out of her lungs. Then turning them around her heart and twisted it. Because even though happiness spread through her to hear what Ayah told her, she couldn’t keep the fear away. That crippling emotion that whispered in her ear that she knew had something that she could lose. She wasn’t sure she would ever get over another loss like her children, and her siblings were next in line. Which just made this so much more difficult for her, than some others might have to let people in.
“I know” Hope whispered, looking down at her cup feeling how hot tears tried to escape her eyes. Blinking a little she let out a small sigh. “I’ve become too used to be on my own, fighting every day to just have my head above water, because my goal was to find the persons responsible for the death of my children, and to find you and the others and now that I have” she licked her lips shaking her head a little as a sad chuckle left her lips as she looked up. “I’m just afraid that I’ll stop fighting one day” she confessed, knowing that it sounded horrible. But it was how far she had come, where there were days in her life where she couldn’t stop thinking about just succumb to the darkness or make the pain stop entirely.

She understood that feeling. Becoming used to just being your own. Yes, Hope had good friends she could lay on if she needed, but she wasn't their younger sister who didn't mind asking for help when she needed it. Ayah knew she could ask, but she also just feared that she would burden people with her troubles, so she had learned to slay most of her own demons, finding her own way to deal with what tormented her. And so, keeping your head just above water - she understood that. "You cannot always fight it, sometimes, its bigger than you, so there will be a point where you have to let it all in. Let yourself drown in it. But eventually you will begin to swim again," Ayah look down at her own cup for a moment then looking back up at Hope again, "and for every breath you will become stronger. And I promise you, you will beat it. That much I believe," she exhaled a little bit before taking a sip more of her coffee, almost having forgotten to drink any of it.

Hope gave her sister a small smile when she told her that she couldn’t always fight it. She was right in that, there were times where the feeling became too much. Almost as if she was being swallowed by her own self-pity and horrible guilty conscience. Weighing her down in a way where it almost seemed impossible to even lift herself up from her bed. But things would get better, they had too. She just had to remember to tell Ace about this as well, especially after they had agreed they would be better at letting each other in.
Swallowing a lump in her throat she caught herself starring at the coffee while her sister spoke her truth. Hoping that she was right in what she was saying that she would be able to beat it. Because times like these, it could almost seem like she would do everyone a favour if she was just not here anymore. Especially with all the pain she brought to the table, when all she truly wanted was to make sure that they were alright. Maybe that was her problem in all of this, it wasn’t the fact that she cared. But that she cared to much, but never let anyone see it.
“Thank you” she whispered finally looking up with a small smile on her lips. “And so will you, things will get better” she nodded, knowing that if they gave each other the room to grow and were just there for each other it would get better with time.

Ayah's lips pulled up into a smaller smile that more or less just mirrored her sister's. "Thank you, we will see. Guess I can only hope," she chuckled a little, "pun totally intended," Ayah shook her head a little bit. But it was the truth however, she hoped that down the line she would actually be able to move forward without always feeling like she feel at least ten steps back when something good actually happened. She could count the times where she had actually been happy, genuinely happy - which was another very sad chapter in her life that she should tell people about. But sometimes you just had to be there for people, you had to put up the front and help them, because you knew how terrible you felt when no one was there to guide you out of darkness. Ayah licked her lips a little bit. Because she wanted to say that she understood some of the things Hope was going through, having someone killing your children. But that would also just make it true, even though it was so long ago, she had never told a soul, which had made it somewhat easy to just forget, there was no one but her own mind to remind her. And she hadn't felt like pulling more trauma over people's shoulder. She carried it, so they didn't have to. But there it was, that thought the memory enough to make her lips shiver a little bit whilst she held her breath. Then snapping back to reality blinking a little bit, and pulled her lips up into a slightly warmer smile, before she took a sip more of her coffee.

Hope’s lips lifted in a smile when Ayah used her name in another meaning, how confused she had first been when she had been a young girl. Who chose to name their daughter something that people said so often? She had almost felt like a dog, whose name might have been hello. “Ah yes, very funny, ha - ha” she teased, shaking her head a little noticing that it had been a long time since she had found that side of herself. Even though it had shown itself a little when she had met up with Elroy, a dear friend that would always know just what to do to make her feel a little better. Which really meant something in this world, were most of it just seemed like an uphill battle. “Do you have family, other than you know, just the ones that are blood and those you’ve already told us about?” she asked, not wanting to say the actual words about the fact that she had lost so much of her family when Quentin had burned down the village that had been in moonlight falls. Even though it was a selfish thought, she was happy that Ayah hadn’t been there, and Sariel had come and gotten her out before she had tried to help those that had already lost their lives trying to flee. But that didn’t mean that there where others as she saw as family, close friends or maybe she had kids too? Because even though she had lost hers, didn’t mean that she didn’t feel like a mother nor thought that she didn’t have any children. Hers, were just not alive anymore.