Lookin' for a better place

Date | 26th of February
Time | Early afternoon
Weather | Slightly cold and dark clouds make it seem much later than it is
Surroundings | Most have stayed at home
Attire | Dark jeans and sneakers, a dark blue jacket and leather gloves

____________________________________________

Time wasn’t always kind. Sometimes time was the hardest thing to get through, because no matter how much the clock showed or how many days there passed. A pain like this had a tendency to stay, even after you had told people it had mended. Even when you had said that you had come to terms with the fact, that you had done things that you today wouldn’t even think of doing. You told everyone around you, with a smile on your lips, that you were fine. You became so convincing that they even start to believe in you. Nodding and saying with a smile that, they are happy that you are feeling better.
But Letha wasn’t feeling better. No. At this point she might even be feeling worse. The constant fear of Oscar would leave her was nagging in the back of her head. Whispering treacherous words in her ear, telling her just how little he actually loved her. He just loved the idea of being loved the way that Letha did indeed love him. How she had done everything in her power that evening to make sure that he came back home and didn’t do something that would end up getting him killed. Even after he had broken her heart. Even after he had tried to kill her. She had told him it was okay, with a smile on her lips. Because she had deserved it, how could she not? She was after all, one of the worst monsters this world had created.
A walk. That was what she had decided she would do. Standing by a cliff starring down at the dark water. Thinking, just how easy it would be to take a step and plunge into the deep nothingness. She wouldn’t die of course. She didn’t need air like a human. But she could stay there, anker herself to the bottom. Feeling how life would slowly drain from her, how it would beg of her to get back to the surface and find food.
That was when she caught unto a familiar scent. “I won’t harm you, Adonis” she said in a low voice, knowing he would be able to pick up on it either way. Then she slowly turned her head, feeling how a wind picked up her dark hair and let it glide over her white skin. “I heard that you are feeling better?” she asked him, before her eyes found their way back to the water.

The fresh crisp air filling his lungs with every single inhale, why was everything like this? How had everything turned out like this? Adonis found himself waking up from a bad dream every single day, having to deal with the heavy burden of his heart that lived to regret the choices he had made for eight thousand years. Choices that hadn't even been his. Someone had puppet controlled him for a thousand of years. No one could simply understand what it felt like, maybe some could come close enough, who hadn't been mind controlled before at this point. But from that to having your heart stolen, your choices been magic covered lies, no wonder he felt used. Yet still having to apologize for choices he had no control over. Sometimes he just wished Rebekah would take his heart again, make him forget then he wouldn't have to live with this burden. Because it was tearing him apart to look into people's eyes, knowing they were just waiting for him to break through the surface and disappoint everyone. Not that he could blame them, the hurt didn't vanish despite of it.

Adonis had reached the cliffs, looking down, wouldn't be the first time he had jumped into the wild waves just to feel a spark or being alive. Well, no matter what he did his suffering couldn't be ended just like that, and he wasn't the type to end himself no matter the pain. He was taught to be better than that, even if those values seemed so small by now. Then the familiar scent hit him through his clouded mind, making his eyes glow for a second. Before they turned to their normal color. He didn't comment on the first part, knowing he wouldn't be able to say the same, even if he somewhat had promised to keep low profile. "Feeling better is a rather universal way to put things," he clicked his tongue a little bit still looking out at the deep sea. He didn't feel better, he felt worse than ever, the burden of his heart. It was touched by darkness and magic, maybe not anymore but some bruises just didn't leave. "You look better than last time I saw you," he mumbled looking shortly towards her.

Her head fell down, as a small smile formed on the corner of her lips. A chuckle left him, he was right, it was a universal way of putting things. Because it could mean anything from, a little better to a whole lot. Then she lifted her head and turned her gaze towards him, when he told her that she looked better than last, he had seen her. “Do I?” she asked a little questionably, mostly because she didn’t feel like she was better nor that she looked better. “Or do you mean after you bit me, because then yes, I hope I look better than then” she added letting her eyes fall to the rushing water, it was so tempting to just take a step and fall.
Then she narrowed her eyes, feeling how she took a whiff of him and then she turned her eyes towards him again. “You feel – different” she whispered; it wasn’t because it was all that different. But the darkness that had once been around him, that she had just put past the fact that he had made choices in her life, that her former self would have done as well, had tainted his soul and left him darker. “Like some of the darkness has lifted” she tried to explain lifting a brow as her head titled, now she could of course apologize for what had happened. What Oscar had done recently to Melanie. But it wasn’t her place to apologize for Oscar and his actions. Which was why she didn’t say anything, they both had things they were sorry for, she was sure. But they had already more than enough people to apologize to, they didn’t need to go around the formalities to do that to each other.

You feel – different, he for sure felt different. It wasn't like he had been a complete heartless monster, perhaps to his family yes. To female werewolves and humans who had figured out that werewolves were a thing. But other than that, he had lived. Because he hadn't known his heart had been missing nor that there was a curse that had made him forget so many things. But now, every single of his memories were replaying for his eyes with the fact that he knew now his heart had been gone. Many things made sense, how he couldn't commit fully with his entire being to a relationship, even if he had wanted to so badly. How easy it had been to take Mitchell from his mother. It shouldn't have been that easy, but it had. "The darkness is still there - it has just changed it's shape,"he took a sharper breath in. "It's more a nightmare than a dream most of the time really," he chuckled a little bit while shaking his head. Because it should be so good, a blessing to have his heart back and memories. And yet, some days he felt it so heavy a burden that he wished that he didn't have his heart nor his memories to swallow him whole. Most of the battle was done alone, no matter how many people supported you or had your back, in the end they couldn't understand the sort of demons that played in your head. "How you think it would feel to just fall? Think the adrenalin will kick up the heart just enough to feel it being alive for a moment - and not just drowning with dread?" He wondered looking at the waves once again. Then he looked and turned towards her, "how are your kids dealing with all of this?" he wondered. He really did wonder, because he had yet to explain all of this to his son. And it worried him how Mitchell would even take things. Now that his life had been forged by Adonis' twisted ways - or the ways Rebekah had imprinted in his head mostly. Still, it was over a hundred years where you had lived with a mindset, not knowing better than this was the best way of living.

Oh, how she understood the meaning of what he was telling her. Everyone was so afraid that she would become Ilene again, the heartless monster that had just done what she pleased. She hadn’t thought about the consequences of her actions because she just didn’t care. The reality of it however was the fact that she was still that person, as she was Revna the young child that had been raised to be a monster. Raised to fight and kill without second thought. She had found a moment of piece with Oscar, a relationship that was still a little rocky because they needed to figure out who they were now as the world around them changed. Either you changed with it, or you got consumed by it. Nodding a little, she let her eyes rest on the environment around her, feeling the light breeze on her already cold skin as he asked what it would feel like to just fall. A small smile tugged at her lips as she looked down, she could already feel how it grabbed around her stomach and sent a pleasant tingle all the way out to her fingertips. “Maybe?” she whispered, letting her head turn so she could look at him instead, then she shrugged when he asked how her kids were dealing with all of it. “They don’t trust it, which is understandable, I had my good periods as well when I wasn’t like this, it is a constant battle at being at war with oneself” she sighed, a little taken aback with how easy it was to talk with Adonis about this. Maybe they had found some sort of common ground that they would never have imagined they would be able to find themselves. “I hope Melanie is okay, it can’t have been easy to witness how dark a vampire can turn when they get overwhelmed with feelings” she hummed, at least she found solace in the fact that Melanie had a place she could go where people would be there to help.

Didn't trust it. Just like everyone didn't fully trust it he assumed. "I get that," he mumbled a little bit. "Well, not everyone can brag about having had their heart ripped out of their chest for 8000 years and been playmates for Rebekah for just as long," he snorted a bit. Knowing that not only Letha but also Oscar knew Rebekah another way than he himself did. Then she mentioned Melanie and he looked back at the vampire. "She is okay. I don't think it's the whole turn it off thing that caught her by a surprise - but to be frank she just entered a state of shock. Dealing with my unstable ass for that long, I reckon I've given her enough life experience on unexpected turns of emotion to handle it," he shook his head a little bit. Well, he hated what he had done to his family. "I have a son. Actually. Not many knows really, around 170 years ago. Took him from his mother, like the rules were set to, brought him up in what I've been praising all these years. I'm afraid if it's too late to safe him," he didn't know. But the thing was Adonis had his brothers, his sister, more family who had known him before all of this. Dealt with him for so long, Mitchell didn't share the same luck. And Adonis already feared facing Zoe most of all, because he had been the worst to her part of the family. One thing was how Adonis had treated her, but the fact when she realized that his son, had killed Angel once - just for the knowledge of werewolves. There would be a war, and he knew Zoe would never trust him or Mitchell. He knew that, which was the most tragic part of all of this. He knew some wounds were just to deep to heal. "Then again, if its not completely too late to safe me after all this time, maybe there is still hope?"

She felt how her lips tugged up in a half smile, as he told her that not anyone could brag about having their heart taking from them. “No, that is true, even though I have to admit, you might not be the only one” she whispered, almost afraid that the wind would take away her voice. It might not be what a person wanted to hear, but she knew Rebekah rather well and this type of act was only one of many.
Letha turned her front towards him, making it easier for them to speak without the wind taking away the words that they spoke. Even if they both had a hearing that many humans wished for, they still had their limits. “Well, I think all of us have been dealt with more than one unexpected events than just the one that happened a couple of days ago” she licked her lips “not that it makes it okay -“ then he told her something that she hadn’t expected. He had a son. Her brows lifted and her eyes widened, giving a pretty clear indication just how much, he had taken her by surprise. Then she smiled and nodded when he added the part that there might be hope. “It takes time, and if you keep showing up, keep trying and showing that there is a better alternative, things will change, but if you just step away and stop fighting, then you’ll always sit with the voice in your head asking you; what if?” she licked her lips and shrugged, knowing that it was hard, because she had to tell her the same things every day. “if we set the example, we can’t do much more than that” she added, lifting her hand and placed it against his upper arm before she could stop herself, and gave it a small squeeze. “I believe that you can do it” she whispered.

It was a lot of things to take on at once. Trying to show up for yourself, be on your toes and make sure you didn't take a turn that would make your family question your actions. Then there was Mitchell he needed to tell about all of this, and then all he could hope would be that Mitchell would understand and not go against him after all of these years. "I think I still have to work on the stop fighting things part," he chuckled a little bit. Because well it had only been  a small while since his heart had gotten back where it belonged. Thinking that you could process over 8000 years of slavery by Rebekah within a week, and help and nurse your relationships at the same time, would be foolish. And he knew he shouldn't try speed up the recovery even if he wanted to be in use in some way. "One day at the time," he chuckled a little bit. Finding it both odd and freeing at the same time standing here with her, two people who were supposed to be trying to rip each others heads off not having a heart to heart. And yet here they were. [color=#5F9EA0]"So, how would you think about going down town and grab a drink. I for sure could use one or two,[/color" Adonis asked and kept his eyes on Revna for a moment.

She huffed in a small laughing manner, as he told her that he might needed to work on stop fighting. She let both her hands push her hair back as she turned and looked out of the beautiful view, taking in the scenery and then nodded when he told her that they needed to take one day at the time. He was right, one day at a time was the best way to get through this. She needed to contact Melanie, she knew this. Because for all the wrong Oscar did, he was incredibly stubborn with trying to make things better. Especially if he knew that he needed to apologise, it was almost as if that made the whole thing even more difficult for him.
“A drink?” she mused, feeling the grin that formed over the lips turning towards him narrowing her left while she looked at him. “Last time I went for a drink and you were nearby, you bit me” she laughed, showing that there was no ill feeling in what he had done that day. “Okay, you know what, I’ll go for a drink or two with you” folding her lips, a mysterious twinkle formed in her eyes. “but only if you jump with me” she lifted her brows and started taking off her top and then started working on her shoes and socks, before moving to her pants. “Unless you are chicken of course” she bated him.