Could you maybe just like, stab me…right in the gut

She hadn’t even noticed that someone had ventured into her house. Normally she would have, because Maya had such a strong aura, just like their mother. But to be fair her mind had been pretty occupied with something else, like getting back to her boyfriend that was waiting for her on the last floor that her and Maya shared. When she heard a voice, asking what she was doing she let out a scream. She covered Maya’s mouth first until she realized she had been the one screaming, so she quickly removed her hands so place over her mouth instead. “Maya” she hissed finally calming down, happy that it wasn’t their father that had caught her sneaking out of his bedroom. She looked towards the stairs up to their room and then towards her sister. “I –“ she licked her lips “I’m, Roman is here and – it’s kind of a special thing and, could you maybe pretend you didn’t saw me, and come back later?” it was no secret that her heart was pounding like crazy against her chest. She had no idea if her sister would understand, or just pretend she hadn’t seen anything. But you could hope right, you always had hope?

Maya clearly surprised her sister as Katelyn screamed up, only to cover Maya's mouth if she had been the one making noise. "Katelyn," she replied pressing her brows a little teasingly together. Yes, Roman was there, Maya knew her best friend's scent rather well. Maya scrunched her nose a little bit as Katelyn asked if she could pretend she hadn't even been here, and go somewhere else. "Hmm, interesting - well I guess I could," she blinked a little and tilted her head to the side. Maya chuckled a little, "fine, I will go - keep people a little away if I have to, but just remember you owe me one," she pointed towards Katelyn. "And you call me if you need anything, okay - and I will be back later," she nodded a bit before taking a few steps back and moved down the stairs, shaking her head as she laughed a little to herself as she grabbed her stuff in the living room and headed out, locking the door.

Roman could hear, smell Maya, making his heart race even faster. Okay, was she going to go? Was she going to make a huge thing out of this? Was she coming up here to slaughter him? Wait, he collected his thoughts, Maya wouldn't slaughter him for that reason only. Or would she? Roman breathed out letting his back meet the bed and run his hands over his head, tabbing his finger tips at the forehead. Okay, Maya left, he could hear her leave, making him exhale, his heart still beating rather fast.

She waited patiently for her big sister’s verdict of what she would do, and breathed out as she said she would go. “Thank you” she whispered giving her a quick hug before she saw her turn around and walk down the stars. “I will, call you, that is” she said with a big smile, when Maya had disappeared down the stairs she turned around, half walked half ran up the stairs into her room and locked it behind her. Pressing her body up against it, she looked at her boyfriend sitting in her bed. Katelyn took in a big breath, fishing out the condom from her bra, and walked over to the bedside table, placing it on it. Then she sat down on the bed, turning her head towards Roman, feeling the tension in the room. Funny, how she had been so scared what Maya would say, and now? All she could think about was him. Leaning in, she placed her hand against the side of his face and kissed him gently. A kiss that didn’t stay as sober, before she shuffled closer, ending up with crawling on top of him. A leg on each side of him, as she kissed him more passionately. She was really doing this, and she couldn’t be surer that it was the right thing.

He could hear her running up the stairs, almost to the beat of his heart. Then opening the door, making him sit up looking towards her as she leaned against the door, locking it. His eyes met with hers and he felt how the whole world around them just slowed down for the moment, and he breathed out. Roman listened to the sound of her heart beat, the sound of her breathing, took in every single movement she did from fishing the condom out and walking towards the bedside, placing it there to sitting down facing him. Time still moving so slow and yet so fast at the same time.
It was going to happen, and it felt like he came alive the second she kissed him. He was sure time stopped for a moment by the gentle touch of her lips against his. But time came back, as she shuffled closer towards him, crawled on top of him, making his hands found their way around her keeping her close, nothing about their kiss innocent. His hands slipping under the fabric of her shirt, feeling his grip a bit greedier - Roman had never been in doubt that he wanted to be with her in every way, mind, soul and body. He loved her more than he ever had loved anyone, more than he thought he was capable of loving.

One could think about a scenario in one’s head enough time, to make it perfect. But she also knew that this couldn’t ever become that perfect moment. Because they didn’t exist. She could swear though, that this felt just like that. A perfect union where they finally got to do what they had been building up to, being together in every way. It both scared and excited her. When his hands found its way under her shirt, she let her own hands leave his hair, and found the bottom of the shirt and pulled it off her. Having to break the kiss to get it over her head. Then her hands found his shirt and started pulling his off him. Remembering that there was something about men and not being very good at opening bras. Inhaling and then exhaling, she looked him in the eye, as her hands found their way around her back and she unclasped the bra she was wearing and very carefully removed it. Clearly wanting to see his reaction to what she was doing. Feeling slightly bashful, she couldn’t help but cover her breasts with her arms after she let her bra fall to the ground, just like their shirts.

She moved her hands from his hair, pulling the shirt over her head, and he could swear in this moment it was just the two of them alone in the universe. He let her pull his shirt off only assisting a little, Roman's eyes still taking in the girl that he loved so dearly who was sitting in front of him. His hands resting on her hips, as he just observed her movements. He watched as she almost covered herself as she unclasped her bra, taking a deeper breath in. Roman could feel how his heart was making him aware of just how special this moment  was, for both of them. Because it was. He watched her cover her breasts with her arms as the bra fell to the ground like their shirts. He could still feel his heart almost reaching his throat, because he wanted it to be perfect - well he also knew perfect was an odd term, but one could try make it at least as close as possible, right? Okay, he was overthinking that again. He lifted one of his hands from her hips towards her face, resting it against her cheek, looking into her eyes before he gently pulled her face towards him again as he lifted himself up a little to meet her half way. Leaning into kiss her lips, first so soft, so tenderly - before it became more passionately. Snaking his arms around her waist, longing to just have her skin against his, feeling the warmth of it, feeling her.

fter he leaned up and kissed her, first sweet and tenderly, and as it turned passionately. It all became some kind of a blur, the small laughs and figuring things out. Because when it came down to it, it wasn’t all that glamorous as you might make it up to believe in your head. But it was still amazing, and the only reason? Because it was with him, something she had thought about for so long.

Looking into the mirror she took a deep breath; she was standing in one of the t-shirts she had ‘borrowed’ from Roman back in the day. So, she could sleep still feeling he was close after everything that had happened in the forest after Maya had been hurt. She walked back into her room, and quickly crawled into the bed. With a small giggle, she put her arms around his neck and gave him a sweet kiss against his lips. “That was, really nice” she mumbled, turning around lying on her side while watching her boyfriend. Her boyfriend. “I’m really glad we, got do this together” she mumbled and didn’t know if it was too much, or to cheesy to say. But she meant it, she really was glad. Happy even. “And then we got to share a first” she let out a small chuckle, leaning in giving him a small peck on the cheek. “I’m just going to text Maya” she laughed, moving out of the bed again to grab her phone, turning around she looked at him. “Did I say something wrong?” she asked, standing there with her phone in her hand, not really understanding.

He couldn't help but smile, they had crossed another milestone in their relationship, and he was so happy. His eyes stayed on her as she walked back to her room, crawling back into bed. Roman's eyes lighted up by the sight of her, pulling her closer the second she put her arms around his neck. "Yeah, it really was," he confirmed with a lower voice, before turning his side towards her as she moved down on her side. Roman nodded a little he was happy they got to do this together as well, he was. Then another set of words followed; share a first. Roman pressed his brows a little bit together, as she kissed his cheek. He still smiled, letting her text Maya. Wait text Maya, sometimes he could forget for a second that his best friend was his girlfriend's sister. Did she say something wrong? No, he didn't believe she had. But it was what she had said. "No - it was just," he wasn't even sure how to put it back into the conversation. Share a first. Roman took a breath in. It wasn't right now you wanted to tell that it wasn't the first time, was it? Not while they had been sharing this moment, which for him was still a very important moment for them to share and he was grateful for it. "It - wasn't my first time Katelyn," he chose to be honest about it. And walked up from the bed and was rather quickly close to her, cupping her face and looked into her eyes. "But it didn't mean it made it any less meaningful to me okay? Because it was meaningful, please don't doubt that."

She wasn’t even sure why it meant this much to her, all these firsts. Some people wanted their partner to be experienced, so it would become a good experience. Because they knew what they were doing. So, why was it that she, just really wanted to be something first for him? Maybe because he had taken every first. First ever crush, first love, first kiss and now, the first time. She did care, more than she should. And looking at him getting up and walking towards her. It was like she forgot to breathe.

It wasn’t my first.

She looked up, not even able to hide the glistening eyes that tried desperately not to give away how much those words stung. She felt his hands against her cheeks while he tried to reassure her, that it didn’t mean it wasn’t something that had meant a lot to him. She did, believe him. But it still hurt her. So, very much. “Hermine?” She chocked nodding a little as she backed out of his hands. Quickly removing the tears that glided down her cheeks. “Right, no, of course” she licked her lips and tried to let out a laugh. Which only sounded even more pathetic. She put her arms around her and looked down at her naked feet. She hated this feeling, hated that she couldn’t just be happy that she had taken an important step with Roman. But now she just felt it was clouded with her thoughts about if he had compared it. Just like everything else he could compare her to, with his former girlfriend.

Of course he knew this could end up either way, either she could become mad, or not, he hoped she wouldn't. They had never really talked about it, if they had talked about it he would have told her, and yet despite of it he felt like he could've mentioned it. But how? When? Roman knew Katelyn knew Hermine was a part of his past, and of course it would've been nice to say that Katelyn was his first. Roman took her in, knowing how he had somewhat disappointed her. Not a feeling he liked very much. "But hey," he lifted her head a little up to look into his eyes. "But Katelyn, you know what is different?" He could feel his heart skip a little beat ahead. "The difference is that I've never done it with someone I love. Because I love you," Roman let his thumbs caress over her skin taking a deeper breath in. "I love you Katelyn, so much that it drives me insane sometimes, and you make me stupidly insanely jealous sometimes when I see someone else around you. Because you are my entire world, okay - don't ever doubt that for one second." He took a deeper breath in and looked at her, trying to figure out how she felt.

She looked up as he talked again. Lifting her head with his fingers. She had to bite down her lip as he asked what was different. Making a very small shake with her head, trying not to let it get to her. Because she didn’t want it too, she didn’t feel like he deserved it. Because she knew that he had done nothing wrong. Never done it with someone I love. Katelyn forgot to breath. She was sure her heart had stopped beating at this point. Just looking at him. Because I love you. A small gasp left her, as her brain realized that she hadn’t breathed. Her eyes didn’t leave his, as he kept talking. Explaining what he felt about her, who she was to him. She felt even worse, she knew she shouldn’t. But she did. Because here she was expecting him to share first with her, feeling jealous of something he couldn’t control. And then he was telling her that he loved her, that she was his entire world. How did she even deserve that when she could be so petty? Tears rolled down her cheeks. “I’m the worst” her word made a small hitched as she felt like her heart was being pulled at in different directions.

Well, Roman had had one hell of a roller-coaster year, everything had just been pulling him around almost to every single edge of the darkest parts of himself. He had lost his brother, himself, his family had been a mess and he had felt like there was no where out of the darkness. Then she had guided him back to safety. She was his anchor, he knew that. "No, you are not, we are human. And sometimes we feel things that we can't explain  - and its okay," he removed the tears with a shift movement with his thumbs and took a deeper breath in. Roman wasn't for a moment unsure  that he would do anything in his power to make sure that he was worthy of Katelyn's love. Because no, he thought she deserved the world and he still tried to be the one to bring that to her. "Come here," he removed his hands from her face before placing them on her shoulders and pulled her into his embrace, placing his chin on top of her hair. "You are the one for me, I don't want anyone else." Roman just closed his eyes, "I'm sorry if I ruined our moment," he breathed out lowly and held his breath for a moment.

How the hell did she deserve someone like him? She let out another soft breath, mostly because she had absolutely no idea what to say. And she always knew what to say or had a problem with shutting up. But now nothing felt right, and even though her thoughts were many, and she wanted to tell him just how much she loved him. And that she was happy that he felt like that. It was like the words just didn’t want to leave her. Or as if time stood still in her mind, not letting her truly process other than the feelings that was felt rather strongly. She didn’t hesitate, however, when he told her to come here. Letting her arms fold around his waist and placed her head against his chest. Hearing his heartbeat against her ear. She wanted to blame it on the seasons, that she was always torn when the winter was making everything die out, and the forest just were so quiet. What normally helped her, weren’t there to calm her down. But right now, she could feel the nerves settle as he just held her. However, when he said he was sorry that he had ruined their moment. She pulled away, letting her fingertips glide over his cheek. “No, I did that” she said with a soft smile, finally feeling like she could breathe and let words cross her tongue again. “And I love you, very much, and I hate that my insecurities about all of this, keeps getting in the way, I just, want to be worthy of your love” she whispered, feeling a little less burdened by everything, with actually saying what she felt.

He just let her stand there, stay there with him. Staying here like this was better than fighting or arguing, and he was so thankful that they could do that. Stand there and just take things in. Katelyn pulled a little away, and his eyes caught hers again. No, she hadn't ruined it. "You were excited, I was excited. I still am," smiling as he fingertips touched his cheek. Roman took a longer and deeper breath in, I just, want to be worthy of your love. He slowly breathed out as he tilted his head just a little to the left. She was more than worthy. "I want to be worthy of yours," he took yet another breath in keeping his eyes on her. Then leaning in and placed a short soft  kiss on her lips, before leaning his forehead against hers, keeping his eyes closed. "Wanna come back to bed? Maybe we can just stay there for a while, we can watch a movie? - you can text Maya if you want to," he suggested running his right hand through her hair, moving some locks behind her ear.

A half smile pulled one side of her lips upwards. She really liked, that he could be so patient around her. She knew that he could be a hot head, and sometimes it took him more effort than most to keep the snark comments and anger under control. But he never seemed to have problems with that around her, and that meant everything to her. Especially when she as being unreasonable, as she knew she had been right now. Loved that they could just resolve issues between them, with just talking and then letting silence form around them, making sure that they didn’t say anything that they would regret in the end. A soft sigh left her nose, as he leaned in and gave her a kiss on the lips. Almost melting every thought away, that clearly hadn’t been good for her to think anyway. “That sounds really good” she whispered, still with her eyes closed. Her smile grew bigger when she felt his hand gliding through her hair and pulled some locks of her hair behind her ear. Opening her eyes, she leaned in and gave him a quick kiss, before talking the remote control to her tv, and PlayStation controller. Not that she played very much, if anything. Crawling back into the bed under the covers, she started the tv up, snuggling into Roman’s arms pushing the remote towards him. Making him choose what they should watch, as she texted Maya that it was safe to come back home.

The tension fell from his shoulders again as she whispered it was a good suggestion then looking into her eyes as she opened them again, almost surprised by the quick kiss, yet a smile formed on his lips as he turned around to watch her take remote control. Roman jumped back into bed and placed the pillows up against the wall so it was nice and comfy to watch a movie in bed, then with open arms welcomed Katelyn back into his embrace and handed him the remote. Roman didn't mind kicking something, he put on one of the episodes of How I met your mother on, he didn't really need to see those in any specific order, and it was just nice to doze of too while the world around them settled a little. He let her text Maya in peace without peaking, as he placed the remote down and just had hist eyes on the screen, kissing the top of Katelyn's head softly. "This is nice," he whispered against her hair.

She put away the phone, and looked up towards him, as he kissed the top of her head. A soft smile formed on her lips. “Yes, it is” she whispered back, pushing herself a little up and placed a soft kiss against his lips. Once again happy that they were able to figure out the problems between them, and so quickly put them to rest again. She moved back and snuggled even closer to his body. Placing her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She almost felt like a cat. That kind of love you sometimes saw between cats and dogs. She couldn’t help but chuckle a little when she thought about their relationship to be like that. Her the persistent one that kept coming until he would finally let her in. To be fair she hadn’t cared if she had just stayed his friend. Because all she knew at that time, was that she needed him in her life. “Are you lying, okay?” she asked, letting out a soft exhale.

Roman felt her hand on his chest, listening to the sound of her heart beating, how she was breathing. It was calming for him, it was always calming him down. But also no one could calm him down like Katelyn could. "Yeah," he breathed out, placing his arm around her just pulling her closer to him, just a little bit as the episode started and he could watch it. Watching a few episodes till he could hear the sound from downstairs that people were coming back home, he kissed Katelyn's temple, "they are home." He informed her. He had let her doze off, as she blamed the change in season, like how the forest started to go to sleep because of winter coming in closer. Not that he minded spending some time just cuddling in bed, he loved the closeness of her.

She had no idea when she had snoozed off. Maybe it was all of the emotions that had been all over the place. Happiness, sadness, jealousy, extasy. The list was long, and it had only been a few hours to go through them all. Then added with the fact that she almost always resembled someone that was having a winter depression, with how much she slept through these winters’ months. It didn’t help. All in all, it might not be such a surprise that she had fallen asleep in his arms. Because she felt warm and safe in them. Like nothing really could touch her.

A soft groan left her, as she felt his lips pressing against her temple. “Already?” she whined and responded to that with letting her arms hug him even closer and buried her face in his chest. Not really caring with them being home, she could just stay there for a couple of more minutes, and she would be happy.

"Already," he mumbled a little letting closing his eyes as his lips traced further into her hair, letting himself take in her scent as she buried herself in his chest. They didn't have to go anywhere or be anywhere, just here, present with each other. And well, he knew Katelyn could talk to Maya later about it. Girltalk as it was so lightly called. But right now, he just stayed here. He knew Maya could possibly be marching into the room with that knowing smirk on her lips, but he also knew that his best friend likely would just allow them to be - he hoped for the second thought in all of this. They could stay here in each others arms till dinner where they would have to face the knowing eyes of at least Maya and Mariella, then he perhaps needed to head home to his own family even if he liked spending time with Katelyn's more.
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