To live by medicine is to live horribly [TW]

Destination | Hope Gardens nr. 2, Aston
Weather | Cloudy, drizziling
Attire | Big knitted sweater and dark jeans
Date | 13th of September

WARNING | Violence

Mary-Jane had just gotten home from school and placed her backpack on the floor close to the dinner table. “Hey grandma, I’m home,” she called out to the older woman, Starla, who had seemed to be getting better for a while now. There was no reply which made Mary-Jane frown a little and with her mouth a little sharp, she without a word went to knock on the door to her room, “Grandma?” she asked, but there was no sound of her. She opened the room, fearing that her grandma had passed away when she suddenly could hear a flushing sound from the toilet. How had she managed to get out there? She looked around and was on her way to dose her medicine when she noticed it wasn’t there. She quickly turned around and knocked on the door "Grandma?" she said a little louder, hearing another flush. She chose to open the door and found her grandma on her knees and opening bottle after bottle pouring out pills and liquid medicin into the toilet. Mary-Jane jumped at her trying to get the bottle out of her hand "Grandma, stop! Don't do that! Don't do that!"
"No! Stop, stop! Leave me alone!" the old lady screamed.
"It's your medicine!“ Mary-Jane cried and tried to push her grandmother away, only to have the liquid seeping down her wrist and down into the toilet. Quickly she let go of her grandmother and tried to grap the other bottles of medicine and get up.
"Give it back!" The grandmother threw herself after the granddaughter, screaming. Mary-Jane managed not to get caught and ran out to the grandmother's bedroom only to put down the medicine on the nearest table. As if her grandmother was possessed, she got up from the floor and ran towards Mary-Jane, "Give it back!“ she screamed and tried to reach over the small girl to get to her medicine.
"No, grandma! Let go!“ Mary-Jane tried and grabbed her grandmother's wrists. She didn't want to hurt her grandmother, even though she easily could make her fall and yield. Her mother gave up on getting the medicine so she could flush it and pulled her arms back running towards the door which lead to the rest of the house. "No! Grandma!" The young shapeshifter feared what chaos her grandmother was capable of right now, and there was no way she was getting out on the streets. She was quick to catch up to the old lady and turn her around. "Why would you do that?" she questioned already quite heartbroken.
"I hate that stuff," she growled and pointed at the bottles on the table, "and I hate you!“ both things hurt Mary-Jane insanely. How could she say something like that? The medicine kept her sane and alive, and Mary-Jane looked after her so much. She even bathed her!
"Do you have any idea what I go through to take care of you? To get your medicine? It's not that easy," she explained almost whimpering.
"Good! I want it gone!“ she yelled "I wanna go back home!“
“This is home!“
“No it's not! I wanna go back to where I was before!" the old lady cried.
"Scotland? You wanna go back to Scotland? To Amy?" The Scottish accent was thicker than blood and definately filled with sorrow.
"No, not to Amy, before that! Before, before“ she cried and pulled her self and her hands away from Mary-Jane. "Before!“ she screamed and slapped Mary-Jane's cheek and was about to pull her hand back to give her another one before she realized what she had done, and that they had gotten company. Like a scarred cat she ran towards her room and closed the door. Mary-Jane stood with her back to the door and was so shocked by what had just happened that she didn't even notice the smell of her sister. She could feel how the hand mark on her cheek stung like hell slowly getting redder and redder.

Her eyes and cheek was burning, and she didn’t fully register her big sisters whisper. She just stood frozen and looked towards Starla’s room. None of this felt real. She had never seen her grandmother like this, and it was scary. Starla hated her medicine. She didn’t want to be here. But the thing that hurt her the most was that Starla hated her. It was going on repeat in her head.

She heard her sisters question as a low murmer, as if she was whispering from the other end of the room. But she stood right next to her. She felt the hand on her shoulder and immediately moved her shoulder away making her torso turn a bit more towards Iris. Mary-Jane didn’t even wish to look her sister in the eyes. “Nothing,” she mouthed, but her voice was so low that it almost couldn’t be heard. “She doesn’t want to be here,” her voice was a little easier to hear, “She hates her medicine,” the shoulders lifted in an hopeless shrug, “If she hates it that much… Maybe she shouldn’t have it,” she said and finally looked up at her big sister. Big tears threatened to run down her cheeks. “She hates me,” she tried to pull a smile, but failed immediately. To Mary-Jane words meant a lot to her. Words, and quality time. This was also one of the reasons she felt so close to their grandmother. Mary-Jane used almost all of her time with her grandmother. Talking to her, reading out loud or simply just moving her lips around when she laid in bed all day. A tear rolled down her freckled cheek and she was quick to dry it away quite violently on her bruised cheek. “She hasn’t gotten her medicine yet, but I don’t think we should disturb her right now,” she sank a lump and dried another tear of the less red cheek. The tears were sparse.

Things would only go downhill from now on. Honestly, it had only been going downhill for a long time. Mary-Jane just hadn’t been willing to realize it. She swallowed a stone dry lump in her throat as her sister reassured her that their grandmother didn’t hate her. Her eyes blinked a couple of times, irritated by the tears in her eyes. The hand on her shoulder made her feel smaller and more vulnerable. She looked back up at Iris as she told her to listen. It was difficult to listen and understand what was said, when all you could see, hear and feel was hurt. Starla was after all the only friend that Mary-Jane had been able to bring with her no matter where they went. Yes, Iris was also a friend, but she always told herself that it was part of being sisters. She nodded slowly as Iris explained that the sickness their grandmother had was eating away the one, they knew. She looked down as Iris reminded her to remember the grandmother they once had, even though it could be difficult, now that they only got the unstable one left.
She sniffled a little and let her hand stroke the bottom of her own nose, “I know,” she responded when Iris said that she loved her. Mary-Jane still felt she got smaller and smaller by the hand on her shoulder. It was incredible how little Mary-Jane appreciated physical touch. She didn’t even want a hug. She looked up, blinking a couple of times, trying to get the tears away again. “I just-” she sniffled a bit before she looked back into Iris eyes, “I wish she wouldn’t go through this,” she pulled her shoulder a little away. She didn’t care as much that she, herself, was going through all of this. She was more worried about Starla. “But I just can’t help her,” she sobbed, “She won’t get better,” she continued feeling how the eyes struggled to stay open in a ugly pained grimace. She placed her hands at her temples, then covering her nose and mouth and lastly only one hand covered the mouth.

She could hear her sister call her name, even though it felt like she was so far away. She stood right there, right within arm’s reach. Her sister tried to calm her down with words and she dried her cheeks a little with few sobs. Mary-Jane did put a lot of thing son her shoulders, and often didn’t want people to help her with handling her own problems. She wanted to show that she was strong, and people needn’t worry. She nodded a bit as her sister told her that it wasn’t her fault and that they should enjoy the good times. She sniffled a bit.
Iris started to mention a couple of things she could do for her, and she started to collect herself a bit, having to think about the opportunities – but as she mentioned could call someone she interrupted, “No,” she wailed and wrapped her arms around herself. She didn’t care who it was. A nurse, their dad, Artemis, none of it would help. Or a nurse and Killian would probably say the same thing; she had to go. Artemis would probably say something cool as usual, but she didn’t wish for Artemis to see her like this. Wailing, in pain and hurt. She closed her eyes for a moment collecting herself a little. She was sure she looked like shit right now, with snot out of her nose, wet cheeks, and her stupid crooked teeth. She covered her mouth thinking of it. She looked down, making her hair spill over each side of her face, hearing how her sister said she would be giving the medicine. “Okay…” she sniffled and dried her slightly runny nose as she straightened her head back up, “I’ll make tea,” she said and sniffled a bit before she turned around and walked a little towards the kitchen before, she looked over her shoulder, “Did you want some?” she offered.

“I would love some tea” Iris said with a soft and pained smile looking at how her sister was hurting and not being able to do anything about it. “Hey Jane?” she turned around looking at her sister; “I love you very much” she breathed and took a breath in through her nose feeling how her chest rose and sank. She then walked into their grandmother’s room.

It took a good half an hour before Iris could walk out of Starla’s room again. It had been quite the hazzle getting her to take her medicine. Sneering and cursing at Iris, not that the shapeshifter took it to heart. Not like Mary-Jane did. Maybe she was just better than seeing the woman she had left back in the bed, not as their grandmother. But as a woman that had been very important in their life, but now needed their help to get by in this life as painless and easiest as possible. Not meaning it wasn’t hard seeing someone you cared for and loved waste away slowly.


Iris walked into the kitchen sighing as she sat down by the table and poured herself a cup of tea. “How are you feeling?” Iris asked with a slight smile on her lips, though it was filled with worry. At this moment it was clear who Iris was more worried for. Maybe it was also the fact being that she knew just how much this affected her sister. More than it did her.

Mary-Jane pulled on a little pained smile as her sister replied that she would love some tea. She was about to turn her gaze forward instead of over her shoulder, when her sister called her name. She looked over her shoulder again humming a little to let her sister know she was listening. Her smiled widened as her big sister told her she loved her. “I love you too, Iris. I’ll always love you,” she said still with a pained smile. There would be nothing in this world which would make Mary-Jane stop loving her sister. Nothing.

As Iris went into Starla’s room, she stood still for a moment before she continued into the kitchen to make them their tea. Mary-Jane took her time and found everything they needed for tea. Sugar, honey, filters, milk, and a kettle for boiling water. Most often they didn’t use milk for their tea, but it happened that they wanted to act like children who hadn’t learned to drink their tea properly. Mary-Jane was leaning against a kitchen counter, sipping at her own cup of tea as Iris got inside and poured a cup. “It’s difficult, but tea really does something,” she exhaled. She walked over and sat next to her sister, putting her cup down on the table, with both her hands folded around the cup. Quite calmly she tilted herself towards her sister to rest towards her shoulder. “I really wish I could do more for her,” she exhaled.

Iris nodded slowly as Mary-Jane told her that the tea was helping. She understood the feeling of a good cup of tea could loosen up the tension in the shoulders. She took a sip before she walked over to the dining table and sat down, a tender smile formed on her lips as Mary-Jane decided to sit down beside her and place her head on her shoulder. Iris didn’t do much, other than look towards the entrance, hoping that their father wouldn’t be home anytime soon. As Jane talked about wanting to do more for their grandmother, Iris let out a sigh. She wanted the same, of course. But she had also understood that it was hard to be the caregiver of an older family member. It really wasn’t something that should be placed on either Iris nor Jane, and the only reason why Mary-Jane didn’t say anything about it, was because she was so afraid of their father sending Starla away. Which in Iris eyes might be the best, not that she would ever tell that to her sister. “You’re doing everything you can, but sometimes we have to know when we can’t do anymore ourselves and need to trust others to help” she tried to breach the subject, knowing it was a sore one. A subject that often had been talked about, and always ended the same way. Denial and angry tears.

A sigh. Oh no. Mary-Jane could simply feel how the conversation wasn’t going in the direction she was hoping it would go in. She held her breath. The words Iris spoke warmed a little before the words almost stabbed her in the back. Iris believed Mary-Jane did very well. But it wasn’t enough. Mary-Jane couldn’t help enough. They needed someone else. Mary-Jane bit her lips thoughtfully. She hummed, clearly not that satisfied with the confession Iris had made. “I don’t think she’ll be happy with others help,” she mumbled before she placed the cup against her lips and took a smaller sip. “Dad is not going to let someone unknown into the house,” she felt like she was being choked. “So, it would mean she would have to move out,” she almost whispered. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” her voice was small and fragile. “She doesn’t want to leave. She likes it here,” Mary-Jane tried on the behalf of her grandmother. She believed he knew what she wanted and what would be the best for her. Mary-Jane believed that her grandmother wished for the same things as herself. Foolish. She had no clue of what would be hitting her like a shovel in no time.