No. Rumors aren't always exaggerated ~ Spencer

Spencer wanted people to trust him. It was the best way to make him feel liked and appreciated. He tilted his head slightly when she told the name of the dragon. Calsifer. What a unique name. ”Well that is unique. I would had gone with Drake or Slash.” He felt sad by hearing the story of how the dragon had once been larger, but had been diminished to this. It wasn’t quite as sad as Cassandra’s, but still sad. He smiled when she said she trusted him it grew smaller when she explained it might not always be like that. He wanted to say he would never do that, but he couldn’t promise it. He sometimes screwed up and hurt other people in the process. ”I appreciate it. I’ll try to live up to it.” He hoped he would never be cause to any pain caused her.
Spencer didn’t really know what draconian was, but the name and what she had just done, made him think it had something to do with dragons. Her eyes changed to something looking like that of a lizard, or probably more likely, a dragon. ”So you’re almost like Daenerys?” He had seen enough of Game and Thrones to know that the fire-resistant women was pretty damn awesome. ”Just you know.. Real. And brunette.” He smiled slightly.
Spencer knew she was right, but he couldn’t help but feel he had to reveal something to her. She had just told a very personal story, and here he was not telling anything. It just wasn’t as easy to him. He nodded when she said physical contact bothered her. He didn’t understand why, but he would respect it nonetheless. ”That’s… I don’t even know what that is.” He folded his hands, looking at them. ”That I understand. I have an ability I can’t control either.” He had kept away from the ability since his first day living with Nathaniel. It had gone out of control, and he still had nightmares of that feeling of being out of control of your own body. It wasn’t because he felt the need to use in the first place, but even less now.

’’I choose names that means something to me. That name was reserved for someone I never got to meet,’’ she said, knowing that a smart kid like him would know what she meant, if he cared enough to think about it. He tried to compare her to someone she had never heard of, and the action made her chuckle slightly. ‘’Who?’’ she asked, shrugging on her shoulders. She wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or an insult, but judging by their previous interactions, she guessed on the former rather than the latter.
‘’I don’t know that it is, either,’’ she admitted, smiling comforting at him, as he mentioned he had an ability too that he didn’t master. ‘’Sometimes, the abilities master us instead. It caves way for a lonely and cold life, fearing for when the ability activates once again.’’ She admitted. She wasn’t sure if he felt the same way, but she feared her ability a great deal. Why? Because her life had been filled with things, she would never share with anyone. She could talk about it but allowing anyone to see what happened to her was too much. Not only because it scared her, but because she would feel everything as if it happened on her own body once again. The person she would share the memory with would only see, hear and smell the same as her - they wouldn’t feel it.
‘’Spencer? Why did you join the mafia?’’ she suddenly asked. She felt like their stories did seem sort of similar, and it freaked her out a bit. Although his father surely didn’t try to kill him, had the father been as cruel as her mother? She hoped that she was wrong in her assumption, but… She could never truly be sure.

”That is kinda nice.” It was also sad. Naming a creature after your stillborn son was both a nice sentiment but also a sad one. He wasn’t sure he would do that. He would just be reminded of who he had lost every time he saw the creature. But he could understand why you would do that. He couldn’t believe she hadn’t heard of Daenerys. ”She’s a fictional character from a HBO show. She has something to do with dragons and can walk through fire without being hurt. She’s smoking hot and super badass.”
Spencer understood what she meant. He had found a way to stop it, but it was only a matter of time before that wouldn’t work anymore. Then he was fucked. ”We have more in common that I thought at first,” he said with a small smile. He had lived with this ability for so long, he could barely remember how it was like before it. Some might find it a gift, a chance to talk with the dead. It could be, but to a 10-year old, it was just really scary. Spencer had tried giving the ability a chance, but the ghost just seemed to haunt him rather than communicate with him in a peaceful manner. He scratched his neck by her question. He couldn’t really tell why. He just had. ”I’m not sure. I was asked to, and I try to not say no whenever a possibility comes my way. Tidus offered me something that would make my life easier.” Spencer could get drugs from the mafia if he worked for them. It just seemed safer and more consistent than having to go out to dealers.

‘’I like to be reminded of my previous mistakes so that I don’t repeat them. Calsifer is one of those reminders,’’ she admitted, with a slight smile on her rather bruised lips. If one looked closely, one could even see where she had been punched on her mouth with a wrench, leaving the soft and gentle tissue slightly swollen and bruised. As Spencer decided to explain who this fictional character, he compared her to was, she couldn’t help but chuckle slightly once more, as he finished the sentence. ‘’I can follow you on the first bit, but I’m neither smoking hos nor a badass. Quite the opposite.’’ She said, shrugging a shoulder. She knew that she was pretty, when she wasn’t beaten and bruised, but she was not what she would consider being hot. At least, in her own opinion. ‘’But I’m flattered that you would even make such a comparison,’’ she admitted, smiling gently at him.

Then, he mentioned that they had more in common than what he had first assumed. She nodded slightly, careful not to turn the head a certain way as it would hurt once more on her neck. ‘’It seems so,’’ she agreed, before she considered if she should say something nice. She was terrible at that, she felt. ‘’I’m sorry that it is so - that we share such an amount of similarities,’’ she said, looking at him with a gentle notion in her eyes. ‘’You seem like someone who deserved a great deal better than what you were given,’’ she said, her voice being a tad more careful. She had lived far to long with the truth that she deserved every last bit of suffering that floated her way. She couldn’t see how wrong it had been for her, until she saw just how wrong it had been for him.

‘’He is good at that, Tidus. That, and making you laugh.’’ She said, allowing Spencer to see a rather soft side of her. She truly loved Tidus like the brother she never had, and for that alone, she would do anything to protect him - even if it meant she would get out of his life. She sighed slightly. ‘’I don’t think being a Don is something he can handle in the long run…’’ she then admitted, looking at her empty coffee cup. ‘’Not unless he accepts that a mafia isn’t based on politeness and charity,’’ she then said, looking back at Spencer with a crooked smile on her lips. ‘’Keep an eye on him while I’m away, will ya’?’’.

Spencer nodded to her words. It made sense, even if he couldn’t say he did the same. He made many of the same mistakes over and over. Which was troublesome when he feared abandonment. He never said out loud how much he feared being left behind, but it was crippling to him. Truth was, he didn’t just come to Gaia because he missed Kenna and Grecia, he did so because he couldn’t carry on without them. He didn’t expect them to know, as he had never told them, but when they left, he could barely carry on. He went on a bender, drinking, doing drugs all day long. He just gave up because he felt so empty inside. That feeling never went away for him. ”I disagree,” he just said with a soft smile. ”Just speaking my mind,” he said. He usually did. His words were mostly unfiltered.

Spencer couldn’t agree with her more. He would much rather share their love for dragons and coffee than their shared trauma. But then again, he might not have started a conversation with her, if they didn’t. ”Couldn’t agree more,” he said. He turned his head away when she spoke of deserving better. ”I’m not so sure.” Who knew what he would be like if everything had been different. Maybe he would have ended up spoiled and nasty. He might have been through hell, but he would rather be this than roll the dice and potentially end up a major asshole. It had taken him some time before realizing his family was fucked up. He thought it was normal to be hit. It was all he had ever known.

”He is a lot different than I expected.” Tidus had been very anti-mafia during their first meeting, at least most of the time. Spencer would never had guessed he was a major crime boss. He could see where she was coming from, claiming Tidus might not be cut out for this life. He didn’t know him that well, but so far, he did believe he would have trouble handling the though situations. Not that Spencer would be any better. ”He might surprise,” he said, knowing it was an possibility. ”I’ll do my best,” he promised with a smile. He didn’t have many positive relationships in the mafia yet. It more or less limited to Tidus, Cassandra and maybe Tivo. He was sad to see Cassandra leave, but he was not going to hold her back. He knew exactly what it was like feeling the need for somewhere new.

‘’You can disagree all you want,’’ she said, winking at him. ‘’It doesn’t change it.’’. She looked down at her nails for a moment, realizing that they looked dreadful. ‘’I need a manicure,’’ she said, trying to joke about the fact that it looked terrible. It still ached from time to time, making her rather uncomfortable, but it didn’t change the fact that she needed to get the nails done so they wouldn’t fray.
She had had enough of speaking about all those uncomfortable things. She had told him her story, assuring that he wouldn’t believe all those rumors being spread about her while she was gone. ‘’Once I’m back, I would like you not to be shy about coming ‘round for coffee.’’ She then said, smiling gently at the banshee. ‘’Or something stronger, should the need be.’’. she chuckled, knowing that she enjoyed her spirits far too much, and that the alcohol wasn’t that good for her, besides from dulling the mental pain she carried from what had happened during her life.
As they spoke about Tidus, she smiled slightly. He surely thought high of the new Don, which only could be considered a good thing. ‘’There’s a reason that he has me and Bienvido with him. Tidus is a very gentle and loving person. He doesn’t take betrayal lightly. You could ask Jasper about that, if he is still able to talk, that is.’’ She said. She pronounced the former Don’s name with pure contempt. She hated that man deeply, but not for what he had done to her - for what he had done to Tidus. What he had made him into. ‘’He wants to reform the mafia… I understand and agree on that. But he needs those that aren’t afraid of the dirty work to carry the corpses and burn them. All empires are built on the corpses of those that stand in our way.’’ She said, somewhat gloomy. It might be this behavior that seemed scary to strangers, but to those that knew Cassandra a bit better, it was her way of thinking. You needed to break the eggs to make the omelet.

Spencer shook his head. ”Can’t change an opinion. It is not a fact, it’s just what I think.” They could discuss it, but that wouldn’t make one of them right. He smiled shortly when she made a topic shift. ”When does your flight leave? Maybe we have time to go to a salon or whatever. I’ve been thinking about getting some highlights,” he ran a hand through his hair.
Spencer was happy she told him. It was always best to hear it from the source, instead of listening to what everyone else was saying. It was like with those gossip magazines. A celebrity could be out for a coffee with a friend, and suddenly they were cheating on their partner. What he had heard, was not that different from what Cassandra had told. They just make it sound like it was her fault, that Jasper had been entitled to do what he pleased with her, that it was Cassandra’s fault for not being submissive. That part he didn’t agree on. Nobody should ever be treated like that, ever. ”I would like that,” he said with a smile.
Spencer had met Bienvido. He couldn’t forget that name. He liked him too. It was good he and Tidus had each other. ”I think that is may be a touchy subject.” He wouldn’t want to force Tidus to tell anything. If he brought Jasper up himself, he wouldn’t mind listening, but he was not going to bring it up himself. ”Is that what the douchebags are for?” He couldn’t see what other function they could possible have. The dead didn’t mind a stupid, smelly and intolerant man. Most living people would. He for one was fine with dealing with the drugs. He could maybe handle dealing with the dead, but the risk of him not being able to was too big. Not the corpse, but what happened after.

She chuckled at the banshee’s way of suggesting they want to a salon. Highlights? They boy surely wasn’t completely straight - but it was none of her business. Tidus was gay, which she had known from the very start. It had never bothered her - love and desire came in many forms, regardless of gender and social norms. ‘’Well, I planned on just going to the airport and buy a ticket for the next flight. If I bought it in advance, someone might get to know about it and try to stop me.’’ She explained. She didn’t expect Spencer to know about the fact that Cassandra had admitted her feelings for Bienvido, which was the real reason for running away; she needed to flee her feelings so that she didn’t risk Bienvido getting hurt like her former mate had. Every time she thought about the emerald-eyed werewolf, her heart skipped a beat and her mouth went dry. Love was a nasty thing when it was inconvenient.
She nodded, as he with a smile agreed to her notion of coffee - or something stronger - in the future. He seemed like a good guy - the right person to join the mafia after all that had happened.
‘’If you want to know about Jasper, just say that good ol’ Cass told you to ask Tidus or Bienvido,’’ she then said. ‘’They can’t resist sweet little me,’’ she then joked. It wasn’t a lie, though. At times, it felt like both the Don and his advisor had fallen far too deep when it came to the witch. Not necessarily love, even though that seemed to be the case with Bienvido. It might just be the need of a family that had brought the Don and the beaten-up witch together in the first place. She did love Tidus, however. She considered him her baby-brother - which was dangerous enough on its own, as she was very protective of him.

‘’The douchebags, as you so brilliantly describe them, are a done deal. The Don told the former members that those that left the mafia when he took over would be considered traitors, and they would be punished for their crimes. Another way of putting it is, that they are scared to leave. Not only because of Tidus, but because many of them doesn’t have anything else but the mafia.’’ She explained, looking directly at the banshee with a little smile. ‘’They might seem tough, but when you find the right button to push, they fall to their knees like the peasants they truly are.’’ She then said, winking at him. Cassandra did despise a lot of the men that had decided to stay with the mafia, but she wasn’t scared of them any longer. She was - after all - the one who crushed their former Don’s balls to a paste before she told him that they would meet in purgatory. She wasn’t scared of men… She just had some healing to do before she was able to prove it.

Spencer was just saying it as a joke, but he did see why it could come off as less than straight. He didn’t really care that much about his appearance. He usually just put on whatever he could find and ran a hand through his hair and then he was good to go. He was definitely not a very feminine man, which was why he could hide his sexuality from so many - or at least he thought he did. Nobody had ever confronted him with it, so he just guessed they didn’t know. He nodded when she explained about the ticket. ”That makes sense. So are we stopping by a salon next?” He didn’t know if she actually wanted it, but he did know he wanted to get some more time with her before she left, if possible.

Spencer chuckled shortly by her words. ”I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. Spencer understood the feeling of being so close with somebody, it could seem like love. Nobody had seen how he and Kenna had been before. They did everything together, did things people on dates would do. But nothing ever happened. Mostly because Spencer knew his sexuality for most of the time, they knew each other, but Kenna never tried anything either. It just never felt like something that could happen. She was his sister, nothing more. They might not have known each other for long, but his bond with her was different to anyone else in his life. She took care of him when nobody else did.

”And people knows what happens to traitors.” He was not comparing this mafia to the one from The Godfather, but if it was anything like that, he was not going to oppose Tidus or anyone high up in mafia. He was not fond of waking up with a horsehead in his bed. ”I better go looking for those buttons then.” He looked at her, a slight smile on his lips. ”You know, I had only imagined getting one thing from the mafia. I wasn’t expecting to find any friends. But I think we’re going in that direction. I hope it still feels like that when you come back.” Spencer could use his ability to see her, to make sure she was doing okay. He had considered it during their talk. But now he knew that it would only put himself and her at risk. She might not fear the men or Jasper, but she deserved a break. If he didn’t know anything, he couldn’t tell anything. It was simple as that. ”I hope you find what you need.”

//Out, efter aftale