Rage and guilt- Kenna

This wasn’t happening. She had felt it, right before she had called. Dylan knew something bad was going to happen, even after she had hung up, she had tried again. No answer. It was first a few hours left she had gotten the call from the hospital. Dylan was Williams emergency contact, at least when they were traveling. She had dropped everything and had started running. She didn’t care about the traffic, or who she needed to push out of her way. Dylan had been sitting there in hours. She felt crushed, but denial kept her from crying. Braindead, he was in induced coma. There was little chance of his werewolf healing being strong enough to do any good. It didn’t stop Dylan from searching for ideas on her phone. She felt a lot of emotions right now, but couldn’t let herself to just react to them. She had texted Leah about if she could find any information of what caused the car crash - Dylan wanted to find who was responsible. The scent of werewolf made her look up from her phone. The guilt on the wolf’s face said it all. ”Get out” She got up and walked towards the werewolf with darting eyes.

Kenna had tried to decide if she should go to the hospital to see William or not. She didn't know him, so she didn't really have any right to, did she? Still she felt like she owed him that. If she could do something to help him, she should. It was all her fault. She looked at the girl in the room, then William in the bed. She had sensed this constantly since she healed from the crash. She had heard the sounds, smelled the smells and even seen the doctors who kept an eye on him. Kenna had also seen this girl. She couldn't just let it go. Her mind was haunted by him. She walked to the door but hesitated entering. The wolf reacted like she expected her to. "Sorry, I just had to come," she was feeling terribly. She was trying to save someone and she had just ended up hurting someone else. She stayed in the doorway even though the girl was not happy with her being here. "I didn't mean to... I was just trying to..." She couldn't explain anything from the overwhelming emotions she was feeling watching him like this, not to mention the wolf's emotions was impossible to not feel as well.

” You are sorry?” she snorted and shook her head. ”Sorry isn’t going to cut it.” from what she could see the werewolf wasn’t suffering from any injuries from the accident. Dylan shook her head, didn’t really wanting to hear her explanation. ” Trying to do what exactly? Ruining peoples lives? Because you did that just perfectly fine,” she hissed and lashed her arms out to the side.” That man in there is possibly not gonna make it. So I’m sorry if I’m not in the mood for your apologies or explanations.” her eyes made her wolf eyes show. It was rare Dylan was this angry, but right now it was all she felt in this grief. Dylan walked closer to the werewolf, so they only were one step apart from each other.

Kenna knew nothing she said would ease her pain. She had killed someone. He was alive, but he would never be himself again. She just allowed the girl to lash out at her. She deserved far worse than this. It hurt her much more than she realized when she talked about ruining lives. She felt that was a specialty of hers, although never intentionally. ”I shouldn’t have come. I just hoped there was something I could do.” She shook her head for her being so foolish. ”Seems he already has a beta to look over him,” she said quietly. She looked at her. She was a little taller than her, but not much. ”I know you don’t want it, but I really am sorry.”

Anger wasn’t an emotion she often felt this brutal. She just wanted William to be okay, but he wouldn’t be okay. There was nothing she could do to save him. “ Guess what. There isn’t” she took a deep breath in, trying not to explode but she was far beyond that. Beta what the hell was this girl talking about. “ Beta, what the heck are you talking about?” she sounded more confused than angry shorty, but only till said sorry again.
”Don’t apologise to be, wait till his family comes and they have to turn off the oxygen” she felt the overwhelming sadness as she spoke that sentence. The tears burning to just being let of of the cage. She looked to the side when another scent got her attention, and her eyes met with Jayden.

Dylan turned towards him and started walking to him down the hall. However she didn’t come far before her legs lost the ability to carry her. She just tumbled to the ground and felt like everything that getting ripped to pieces. She struggled to breathe probably. William wasn’t just her assistant, he was her best friend. The one person whom she shared all her travels with, who forced her go out so she didn’t just sat behind the desk all day. He didn’t deserve this.

Kenna knew she couldn’t do anything, but she had to do something. This guilt was eating her up. She didn’t blame the girl for being angry with her. ”I know,” she added sighing out of despair. She felt hopeless. She was about to explain that she was definitely a beta, but she didn’t get a chance before she spoke with such a sadness it nearly made Kenna tear up. She had no words that could make up for what she had done to her, to William or to his family She stood back as she started walking away. She was about to go to her when she fell, but she thought it was best to keep her distance.

Jayden had heard the news and instantly wanted to be there for Dylan. He always wanted that, but he had dealt with his own news and had not known what to tell her about it. She would know something was up. He didn’t know how to tell her that he not only had twins already but now had to father a third to not screw up the time. Fucking time travel. He didn’t have to ask for direction. Dylan had taught him how to track. He walked down the hall and saw her standing there talking with a girl. He walked closer but he wasn’t fast enough before she collapsed. He sped up, sitting down next to her. ”I’m here,” he whispered and put his arms around her, keep whispering the same sentence a few times. He couldn’t say anything to make it better, he just had to let her know she was there for her.

Every breath felt like hours between the next. The world seemed like it went so slow. She didn’t know how to feel, how to be in this. She needed to call his family, they needed to be here. They needed a chance to say goodbye. It was like she finally connected with her own breathing again, only to realize she was in Jayden’s embrace. It took her a few minutes to actually be aware again. She just cried. Another thing she realised alongside his voice. Dylan calmed herself to that sound, and eventually stopped crying - for now at least.
It didn’t take any genius to know it would be all over the news. She didn’t expect Leo to show up yet, he never read the new or watched them. “ I tried to warn him.. I tried..” she sobbed against his chest.  She took a deep breath in, and pulled herself a little back. She looked back at the she wolf, and exhaled.
” I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have raised my voice at you like that,” she apologised and rested her head again by leaning it against Jaydens chest.

Kenna didn’t know who the man was, but it was not her place to question it. She didn’t know any of these people. She was selfish by coming here. It was only to make herself feel better. She knew deep down she couldn’t do anything. She just hoped she would feel better if she knew he wasn’t that badly hurt. But he was. She had killed him. She walked a little closer when she apologized for raising her voice. ”You had the right too,” she said in a soft voice.

Jayden stroked her back, just letting her cry and get it all out. He didn’t care that they were in the middle of a hospital hallway. He only cared about being there for Dylan. ”I know,” he said in a soft voice. He wanted her to feel better, but he also knew it was unlikely she would get better. Unless he found a way to save him. There had to be a way. He just didn’t want to leave Dylan alone. He moved his hand into her hair when she leaned against his chest again. ”Do you want me to call someone?” She might want her family here as well.

Dylan shook her head with best ability. She didn’t agree.
” No I didn’t,” she mumbled.  Raising voices in anger wasn’t right. Not in the middle of a hospital. Dylan took a deep breath in and tried to calm herself from the next thought. There was one person who would take these news harder than anyone else, and she didn’t want to bring those news. Dylan closed her eyes shut and felt her body tense with the imagine that started to haunt her with Scenarios of Lucille.
“ i.. I don’t know. I already called- ”Dylan? What happened” Luna came running in with the five year old girl in her arms. Luna didn’t have much money, she had none. It was only a few weeks since she had gotten her daughter to see again in three years. Lucille was half asleep in her mothers arms, five years old. Dylan tried not to crack again and got on her feet. “ What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked in confusion before walking over to put the sleepy Lucille down on a chair. Luna crossed her arms. ” What happened?” Dylan tried to find the words but she couldn’t speak. She knew Luna and William had just reunited- and now it was all in ashes.

Kenna didn’t say anything. Now was not the time to argue. She stood idly by, wondering if now was the time to leave. A wave of new emotions hit her. Someone who knew William was coming. Someone who was scared. She stopped breathing all together when she a woman with a young girl in her arms. She knew who they were right away and she was so close to breaking down from all the emotions. She just managed to keep herself together. She leaned against a wall forcing herself to take deep breaths to keep herself from being completely overwhelmed by their emotions. She was closing her eyes, with just made her see the accident; not hers. William’s. Her jaw tightened by feeling how scared he was.

Jayden looked at the woman who came with a young girl. She was scared, that was clear. He wanted to do something, but he couldn’t explain what was going on to her. He let go of Dylan and looked at her a short moment. He kissed the topped of her head and stood up. ”I’ll go find a doctor,” he said and went away to find a doctor who could talk to the woman.
He returned a few minutes later with a doctor. ”I’m afraid I will have to bearer of bad news.” Her gaze shifted between Dylan and Luna. ”Mr. Stone has suffered a serious head injury. He is currently in a medically induced coma. The brain was severely damaged in the accident. There is little activity in his brain. I am very sorry.” She tried to keep a sympathetic expression without losing her professionalism. ”I will be available to answer any questions you might have.”

Luna was overwhelmed by the situation, by everything. If there was people she didn’t trust it was doctors, who could blame her if they knew what she had been through. Could she tell Ash about this? Could she even tell her own daughter about this? She ran her hands through her hair and took a deep breath in. Dylan walked over and hugged her friend.

She kept her arms around Luna when Jayden returned with a doctor. She could hear Luna’s heartbeat raise and felt the human squeeze her arm. However Dylan expected the few bruises it might cost her. The news where hardest on Luna, but it was clear in the humans eyes that she was heart broken - but she couldn’t cry. Not like Dylan, but Dylan mostly cried in silence. Dylan had no idea what Luna had been through the last few years, but it must have been something bad.

Luna exhaled and blinked a few times. “ Can I see him? “ she asked and took a deep breath in. She looked at the stranger. ” I will take her with me. Can you and Jayden watch Lucille?” Luna barely wasted any time waiting for a reply before she grabbed Kennas hand and tagged her along. Luna didn’t want to go alone, but she would leave Lucille with strangers alone.

Dylan watched them walk away and exhaled.
” Happy birthday,” she breathed out and walked over to him so wrap her arms back around him. She have had something else planned to surprise him, but sadly enough this happened on the worst day possible. ” Is it normal feeling everything and noting at the same time? Like my brain hasn’t figured out yet what has happened?” she asked and looked over at Lucille. Dylan knew that girl quite well, no wonder that Luna wanted her to stay with her.

Kenna continued to keep her distance. She was the outsider here and she didn’t want to intrude. She wouldn’t mind a hug though, as all their emotions bounced off the wall going straight for her. She hadn’t learned to control the abilities yet, but she knew they were there. She had no idea what exactly they could do or how to turn them off. She was scared she would feel numb again if the feelings became too much for her. She followed Luna into the room, but she didn’t say anything. She just stood there looking at his broken body. She felt tears appear in her eyes. Not because anyone else was sad, because she was. She had no right to feel sad on his behalf, but she thought it was such a shame a young life like his was ended so traumatically.

”Yes, just be careful to not overfill the room.” When Luna and Kenna went into the room, the doctor looked at the couple. ”I will be back later to check on him,” Jayden smiled a friendly smile at her. ”Thank you.” The doctor went away and he looked back at Dylan.

Jayden put his arms around her in a comforting embrace. ”Thank you,” he said and moved his hand in circles on her back. ”That is very normal,” he assured her. ”You need a little time to process it all. I will be here through it all,” he promised her. He did need to go to Veronica and Jessalyn at some point, but other than that, he had nothing to stop him from being by her side. He looked down when he felt the girl tugging at his pants. He chuckled shortly and moved out of Dylan’s embrace. He bent down to the young girl and looked at her with a smile. ”Do you want attention little one?” He bent down and dared to pick her up even though he didn’t know her. ”You’re a little troublemaker, aren’t you,” he touched her nose and made her giggle. ”Maybe we should move to a waiting room and find some toys for this little monkey,” Lucille stuck her tongue out at him, he just copied her and stuck his tongue out as well.

Luna got to the room and looked at William, and what the accident had cost him. She stopped and starred at him for a few seconds, and breathed out. She could handle this, she had handled something like this before - almost. Luna took a deep breath in and walked over there looking at him like this, he didn't deserve this. This world wasn't fair, it was proven to her time and time again.
"Why do bad things always happen to great people?" She asked out loud, not to Kenna directly. Even Ash, just looking at what the world had done to her - to all the others she had been with before she escaped. The world was anything but kind.

Dylan sighed a bit and breathed out as Jayden put his arms around her. She smiled a little, not that he could see it, but she smiled when he said he would stay. However Lucille was awake, of course she was. Everything most have seem so chaotic to that young soul, she looked at Jayden who made it his job by the second to make Lucille feel better and picked her up. Dylan smiled and removed quickly a few tears.
"That sounds like a good idea, right Lucie?" Dylan tilted her head a little to the side. She didn't know how much she would enjoy seeing Jayden play with Lucille till she watched it. It made her happy to see him interact with her. They walked to the waiting room, and Dylan sat down on the floor - however she mainly just let Jayden play with Lucille. She needed to connect her thoughts, however it was hard not to smile at Jayden.

Kenna wished she could say something that would make it better for her. She just stood against the wall forcing herself to not close her eyes for too long. She couldn’t handle seeing the accident again. She swallowed when she asked a question. ”I wished I knew.” If she had known this would happen, she would have tried to do something else. No, this wasn’t fair. She had tried to save someone and now this happened. This was the reason she didn’t believe in God. She didn’t believe that someone who wanted the best for them would make something like this happen. It was nothing to do with fate or God or the universe. It was just life being unreasonably unfair. Here she was standing with William’s girlfriend or wife, feeling how the weight of guilt was laying itself on her shoulders.

Jayden wanted to stand there with her for longer, but he gathered the young girl would need some attention too. He walked with Dylan to the waiting room and put Lucille down on the floor. He walked over to find some toys. He wanted to make sure she approved before he went back to her. When she reached her hands in the air to get the toy giraffe, he knew it was a winner. He took an elephant for himself. He moved the elephant around engaging with her giraffe until she ran over to get another toy. He looked at Dylan with a slight smile. He knew she wasn’t in the best place, but he was glad to see she was still smiling. Lucille returned with a story book. He sat down next to her so they could read it together. ”Once upon a time there was turtle called Lucille…” He started, even though the name of the turtle was Terry. He continued to tell stories of Lucille the turtle and how she overcame her fear of water and learned to swim with all the other baby turtles. He had not always been great with children and Lucille was older – and younger – than the twins. He had never experienced interacting with a child her age this way.

Luna might not know the girl next to her, she wasn't even sure who she was. But she could see she was overwhelmed by something. She walked over to the girl and put a hand on her shoulder. "You need to breathe, otherwise you will collapse," she spoke and looked into the girls guilt painted face. Despite that, Luna knew there was more forces in play. She removed her arm and went over to look at William. A tear escaped and ran down her cheek. She was going to let it out later, when she would be lone. Right now, she needed to let it sink in. Maybe it wasn't real? Maybe she was still trapped in her head, but if it was real - could she recover from it? "People used to vote for us as the couple who would stay together forever," she smiled a little by her words.

Dylan wanted to interact with Lucille, and she would. She storm just needed to calm down, and looking at Lucille trying to play despite everything feeling like a fog of disaster - it helped. Dylan watched Lucille get up to grab a book, all the stories she had heard William read to Lucille. Dylan zoned out in the middle of the story, trying to think about something else. She needed to do something else, other than just sitting around here, waiting for answers that wouldn't change anything. Dylan looked around and found a board game.
"Hey Lucie. How about you show Jayden how good you are at playing ludo," she suggested and got on her feet and found the game on a shelf. Lucille got up and ran over to Dylan. She sat down on a chair next to Lucille. Lucille opened the box and took the colors out.
"I'm going to be the blue," she took the four blue pieces and put them on. "You can be the red one," she took the red pieces and put them on the fields closest to Dylan. Dylan smiled and looked at Lucille putting the game up. Dylan leaned down and kissed the girls hair shortly.
"What about Jayden, what color is he going to be?" She whispered, making the young girl look at the two left over colors like her life depended on the right choice. "I think green," she took the green pieces out and placed them like she had done with the others. "Great choice." Lucille picked up the dice. Dylan leaned in and whispered something to Lucille, and Lucille handed Jayden the dice.
"What is your favorite color? Mine is blue," she looked at Dylan, "I know Dylans is green. What is yours?" She asked waiting him to throw the dice.

Kenna felt like she wasn’t supposed to be here. She had no plan of even engaging with his family and friends. But she couldn’t leave now. It seemed like this woman needed someone to stay with her, so she was going to collect herself and stay here until she had a natural window to leave. She nodded as she told her about breathing. ”Yes, you’re right.” She tried to control her breathing, to make sure she was breathing at all. She dared to walk closer to William, feeling weirdly connected to him right now. She had never met him, but she felt like the crash had created something between them. She had continued to experience his accident and what went on in this room. She felt herself tear up as she felt the sorrow from her. ”You make a very pretty couple,” she said and looked at his face. He was of course not in his best condition because of the accident, but it was clear he was handsome and with this girl who was really pretty too, she knew they would be beautiful together.

Jayden sometimes looked at Dylan to see if she was doing okay. She seemed to be in her own head, so he decided to not interrupt her. When she suggested they played Ludo, he thought that was a great idea. He followed them and sat down next to Lucille. He liked how decisive Lucille was. She just knew which colors both she and Dylan should be. When it came to him, she needed a little more time to think. He couldn’t help but think how wonderful it was to share this with Dylan. He was not one to put words to feelings prematurely, but he was falling in love. He wanted to have this with Dylan; a family. He took the pieces and put them at his home field. He looked at Lucille as she was about to throw the dice but gave it to him after Dylan whispering something to her. ”I heard it’s good luck if you have a pretty girl blow on your dice.” He held his hand with the dice in front of Lucille so she could blow on the dice. ”Does rainbow-colored count?” He asked smiling at the girl.

Luna smiled a little. "Yeah we did," she breathed out before looking away. As long as there were no doctors in the room she felt safe enough to stay here. "We haven't been together in three years.. but I always felt like I was coming home whenever I see him," she added and sighed once more. Her heart was aching, it didn't look like that on the outside. Emotions were to be filled on the inside at this point, she knew that. If there was anything the last three years had taught her, it was to stay tough.


Dylan moved a piece of hair behind her ear, and watched Jayden put the pieces on the home field. Lucille smiled and blew on the dice, then Jayden said it would bring him luck. She shook her head when he asked if rainbow-colored counted. "Nope," she said a little smile. "But you can pick two," she held two fingers out in the air. Dylan chuckled a little. Once Lucille was comfortable about someone she was hard to make stop talking. Dylan took a deep breath in and just let herself enjoy this small moment. It would last as along as it needed to.
"You know how to play, right?" She asked Jayden with her big hazel colored eyes. "He knows love, I think you caught him off guard with your color question - there is just so many colors," Dylan teased and turned her cheeky smile towards Jayden.

Kenna tried to stop Luns's emotions from overwhelming her, but she had no idea how to do this yet. She just felt like sitting down and crying her eyes out, but she stopped herself every time. It felt like it was disrespectful to the girl to do so. ”That sounds amazing,” she said softly at looked at Luna. ”If you want to talk about him, I can just stand and listen.” She didn’t know if it was going to help, but she hoped it would.

Jayden smiled when she blew on the dice and was getting ready to roll it, but he wanted to tell her what his favorite color was first. He sat silently a moment to consider his options. He had a lot to choose between. He chuckled as Lucille asked if he knew how to play. A warm smile appeared on his lips directed at Dylan when she explained why he was hesitating. ”I like red and green. It reminds me of Christmas,” he explained and looked down at the board before rolling the dice. He had luck in the first try and was allowed access out of his home. ”You, young lady, are my lucky charm now,” he rolled it again and moved the piece two steps forward before handing the dice to Lucille.

Luna shook her head a little and breathed out. "Talking about it isn't going to fix it, I don't even know if I can do anything to fix it. I guess I'm hoping to being pulled out of this nightmare soon enough," she said with a low voice without looking at the woman next to her. Luna begged it was all just a part of the tests, that she would get pulled back to reality to a check up soon and everything would be okay. Or at least so okay things could be.
"What do I tell Lucille?" She closed her eyes and swallowed her emotions and threw them into the deepest corner of her soul.

Dylans gaze switched between looking at Lucille and Jayden. Jayden told his favorite colors. "Oh.. J'aime aussi Noël," (Oh.. Well. I like Christmas too) the little girl spoke in fluent french. Lucille blinked a little, "Christmas is nice," she added in English looking apologizing at Dylan. "She speaks french with me and Luna time to time. Because you are born in Paris, right?"- "Oui" Dylan looked up at Jayden with a little smile. "I speak a lot of different languages," she admitted. Jayden already knew she could speak both Italien and Spanish. Jayden rolled the dice and moved his piece. Lucille was lucky as well when she threw the dice, and Dylan helped her count the fields as she moved. The game was hard, but Lucille bested them both - with a little 'luck'. Dylan and Jayden were close, and Lucille was watching them move the pieces around like their lives depended on it.

Kenna understood that she didn’t want to talk about it. She was right, it wasn’t going to fix it. She was threading careful, trying to not overstep or say the wrong thing. She was already hurting because of her; Kenna didn’t want to make it worse. She took in a deep breath when she spoke of her daughter. ”The truth,” she said looking at her. ”Tell her how much her father loves her,” she had no idea how to deal with any of this. She was trying her best to say the right things, but she was so in over her head.

Jayden didn’t understand all the words she said, but shortly after she translated it into English. Jayden nodded when Dylan explained Lucille was born in Paris. ”What do you like the best about Christmas?” He looked at Lucille with a soft smile. He watched their interaction. It was nice to see Dylan with a young girl. It was clear they shared a special bond. He enjoyed to just sit and watch their interaction. ”That doesn’t surprise me,” he said. Jayden made sure to make the game work out in Lucille’s favor. He wanted her to have a good experience on top of all that was going on right now. He continued to move his pieces around when it was his turn. He cheered Lucille on when she did well.

It was a weird afternoon of sadness and tears. Just hoping for the best, but knowing that it wouldn't be better. Dylan spend the time playing with Jayden and Lucille till the other wolf and Luna returned. Dylan had held herself close to Jayden, not to let Lucille see her cry when Luna told Lucille that her father loved her, but was in an accident so he needed to get better at the hospital. Lucilles cries and fear had filled out the whole room.

William already had a room booked just like Dylan, so it wasn't hard to get an uber back to the hotel. She had asked Jayden to join her for the evening. She didn't really want to be alone, and Luna wanted to just be with Lucille by herself. Dylan respected that, but made sure she knew - that she could knock if she needed anything.

//Out <3