Time goes on even when we do not

She was trying to do what Reginald would have advised her to do. This was the only reason she was moving towards  the kitchen this time. Lion wanted to talk. Reginald was missing. Jamie was losing himself, Mariella followed him like a puppy. Amaryllis and Karmena had been lucky and was most likely away from the drama somewhere. Valeria was missing. Anastasia had been missing but her and Lion had been on some sort of adventure. Theo was out with Sophie, most likely searching for Reginald. Jasmine was another one who had enough to deal with. So in the end, the mansion was so quite and so empty. Vanya had been spending a lot of time reading with Vidar, he seemed to be the most stable person in her life at this point. Vanya stepped out in the kitchen. She didn't have time to yell at Lion or be angry. She needed the energy to search for more clues on Reginald.
"You wanted to talk?" She said and leaned her back against the door frame with her arms crossed.

Outfit

Lion tried to stay sane, but it was hard when everyone around him was dealing with so much. He had tried to reconnect with Mariella, but it was hard when she was on this weird quest. Not that he didn’t want to find Reggie, but the way she was doing it seemed counterintuitive. He was standing in the kitchen waiting for Vanya. He wasn’t sure she was going to show. What he had done was not okay, and he regretted it now. She had moved on, and he didn’t blame her, but it still stung to see his first love with someone else. He looked at her when she stood in the door. She was still not open with him. ”Okay, this is stupid. What I did was wrong, but we have been friends our entire life. There’s no reason we can’t go back to being that.” He walked closer to her, but stopped to lean against the counter. ”I miss you. Especially now when everyone else is gone. I could distract myself from the hole in my life only you can fill, but now I can’t.” He wanted to clear things up for her, so she didn’t think he was going to try and be with her again. He wanted to, but he would respect whatever choice she made. ”I was thinking we could look for Reggie together. Two brains are better than one, right?” He turned his eyes to her.

Vanya took a deep breath in as he moved closer. She had not chosen to stop loving him. She did love him, she just wasn't sure how anymore. He had betrayed her trust, and she wasn't sure she could cope from that.
"First rule of friendship is trust," she then said and looked at him. "I want to trust you again, but I can't just magically hand it over to you," she add and took a deep breath in. She didn't want to argue with him, he would know that - otherwise she would have yelled at him. Vanya listened to him saying he missed her. She didn't respond, but she gave him a nod. His suggestion was not stupid. Two brains would be better than one.
"Sounds like a plan," she admitted and left out a sigh. "I feel like there is places we must have missed. Your sister has covered so much ground, but I don't believe she is as thorough as she thinks. I don't want to but to much pressure on Tianas magical abilities - but if it comes down to it. She might be the best call for locate him, but - now I'm just babbling, sorry. I'm just worried," she took a deep breath in and tried to remain calm, but she was pretty shaken up about this.

Lion swallowed when she indicated she didn’t trust him. He knew this already, but it hurt to hear her say it. ”I’ll earn it then,” he stated. It was nice that they could be civil. He didn’t like it when they weren’t talking. It didn’t happen often, and when they did it was because he had screwed up somehow. First he had pushed her away and started something with Eilish, and now he had done it again. ”I never did it to hurt you. I was just trying to protect you. I was afraid you would come for me and put yourself in danger. I know I would have done that for you.” he sighed. ”Still would.” He listened to her explain what she had discovered. ”There must be another witch we can talk with. I don’t doubt Tiana could do it, but she would want to come along. We have no way of knowing what happened to Reginald, and I don’t want her to see anything horrible.” He could see she was affected about it. He wanted to calm her down, but was he even allowed to anymore? He walked closer to her, stopped in front of her. ”I am too. But at least we’re talking again, so now we can be worried together.” He was worried about many people right now, but Reggie most of all. ”We always come back to each other. He will too.” He was about to take her hand, but hesitated and took a step back to avoid the temptation.

"I know. I know why you did what you did. And you were right. I would have followed you, and I would have fought for your return till my last breath. But taking away our love from my mind to stop me. That wasn't your choice to make," she spoke honest.  She needed to be real with him. "I still would for you to," she pointed out and looked into his eyes.
"Your sister helped taking down Ramsay and Lucifer.. I think she has seen some to know its pretty serious. I could of course ask Vidar for help, but I don't know if the magic is as strong if your emotional attached to the person you are tracking.. I don't know how magic works.." she explained and scratched her neck a little. "And the last thing any of us wants to see is something horrible," she added as she breathed out. Vanya wasn't that close with any of the remaining people in the mansion. She had always had Amaryllis as her closest card, followed by Karmena and Lion. Of course she was close with the others in some ways, but she felt like a stranger in her own house. Vanya moved her eyes shortly to collect herself, but moved them back as she saw he took a step towards her. A little smile showed on her lips as she left out a little chuckle by his words. Vanya exhaled by his last sentence and gave him a nod.
"Reginald made it through hell and came back. He has been gone for sometime, and he wouldn't just leave - he loves Marie way to much to just leave her here," she sighed. Both Lion and Vanya knew what ever it was, it must be something awful - but Vanya was way to scared to think about the possibilities.
"One thing I however learned about being in Wonderland is, that nothing is what it seems. Its a placed forced to be dark, but found a way back - I sometimes just wish our lives would be more than just survival," she took another deep breath in.
"Maybe we should get doing. The woods are easier to cover this time of day."

Lion listened to her. She was right. He shouldn’t have made that choice for her. ”I know. And I regretted it right after I had done. I was about to go and fix it but I didn’t have the time.” He took in a deep breath. ”I want to be honest. I still love you. Because of that, I want you to be happy. So if he makes you happy, I am okay with it. Mostly okay with it.” It would sting to see her with someone else, but he had to get over it.
”No I know. She’s tough. But she is still innocent, and I don’t want her to see Reginald in pain or worse. She loves him, and I want to protect her from that.” He didn’t know that much about magic either. ”Maybe my grandmother can help, or my aunt.” Rebekah and Dove were both pretty well-known for their magic skills. They could probably find a way to track down Reginald, even without the personal connection.

”He does. Something is wrong. Even if he did leave for whatever reason, someone would have noticed. They did with me.” He swallowed and went back to lean against the counter. ”But it is. I mean we do a lot to survive, that’s true. We go through too many things. But there’s still love and friendship. It’s all about how you prioritize. There is not many of us left, so I hope we can spend some time together, try to build a friendship again. I don’t regret our relationship – I regret how it ended, but I really liked how we were as friends. The four of us were so close but then we became couples and I think it might have ruined our group a bit. Maybe if we find a way to be friends, we can be friends with Lissie and Mena again as well.” He nodded to her suggestion. ”That’s a good idea. Let’s go.” he left the kitchen to go and get dressed probably. It was not cold, but he just wanted to be sure he wouldn’t freeze later. It was unlikely either of them would give up anytime soon.

Vanya held her breath when he said he still loved her. It was far from easy to hear, of course she knew - she could feel it. But hearing the words was something else. Vanya didn't know what was going on between her and Vidar, or she wasn't sure. There was something, but she would never start something new without having tied up loose ends. She gave him a small nod to let him know she heard his words.
"I get that," she breathed out. "I can always ask Alycia as well. She made me the moon ring, and helped me with things before - she would do it again," she didn't trust Rebekah. Most because she read so many stories and teles - of course it was the past. But they were from the future and the past had now caught up with them.
"We will find a way, hopefully without having to ask for magic help. One thing that is written everywhere is: magic always comes with a prize.. maybe we should just ask my father.. maybe he would have any advice? We are just teenagers.. we are not meant to handle all this ourselves," she pointed out.

"He would have told me," she pointed out. Reginald was like a brother to her, and he would have spoken to her about whatever it was if he wanted to leave for a while. And he would lie about it. Reginald always spoke the truth.
"We will never be that again. None of us. Karmena and Amaryllis are on their own type of love trip - and even if we all sit together again. It will never be the same.. but we can do our best to try do make it work," she pointed out. Vanya was awfully close with Amaryllis after they got back from Wonderland. But spending time with your friend in an unknown world, it made you close. Vanya breathed out as he left the kitchen to get some outwear on.
She walked quickly to Vidar to tell him she was going out, before heading back meeting Lion in the hallway.
"It's still not to late to ask for help. I'm even sure your parents would help. Even through I did throw a book in your fathers head once."

Lion would fight to get to a good place with Vanya, whether that be as friends or something more. He wasn’t going to give up on her because he had screwed up. People might as well get used to that. That’s what he did. ”If that is necessary, we can contact her,” he agreed. Lion had nothing against either one of them. He knew Alycia a little better than Rebekah, but Rebekah was his family nonetheless, even though they were not that close.
”Let’s hope that is possible.” Lion was not a fan of meeting Kyle. He had nothing against him, he was just afraid he would somehow find out what had happened between her and Vanya and how he would react to that. ”I see where you’re coming from, but everyone always say we should keep away from our parents if possible. I want to see my parents too, but it’s just a risk every time we do. Maybe we can keep him as a back up plan too.” If Vanya insisted, he would agree to it, but he thought it would be better not to.

”Yeah, I think he would have told at least someone,” he thought out loud. He looked away when Vanya argued that they would never become the same. He didn’t like that. He wanted everything to back to how it was, but he also knew that wasn’t possible. He just had some hope for them still. ”I just need something to hold onto,” he added with a small sign of sadness to be found in his voice.
”Wait. You threw a book at him?” He let out a small laughter. ”I think we should try and tackle it alone for now. If we’re not successful, then we can ask someone for help.” He went outside and started walking. ”Now I need to hear this story of you and my father,” he insisted.

"Reginalds life seems worth the risk," she pointed out and looked a little at Lion. Lion had a weird way of explaining himself time to time, easily misunderstood if you couldn't sense emotions. Vanyas ability was a blessing and a curse time to time.
"We all do. It's hidden in the little things. If Amaryllis and I could survive in Wonderland for a year.. it shouldn't be hard to hold onto something while you are here," she pointed out without looking at him. Vanya didn't comment on the strong emotion she felt from him, it wasn't her place anymore - not on that level, or was it? Vanya pushed the thought away, she needed to focus.
"Jasmine would have given us a hint if it was Ramsay.. which only freaks me out. Everyone in the mansion is freaked out. None of us should be in danger like this," she exhaled frustrated and kept on walking.
"Yeah.. by accident however," she remembered that day. Kol had swung by not a long time after. "Ifs and maybes. We can't use those for everything. I get you want to play the hero and save everyone. But we might just end up as the next people going missing if we aren't careful," she pointed out and looked back at Lion.

It was true that he was easily misunderstood. It made sense in his mind but didn’t always come out the way he meant it. Which was also the reason he was constantly fighting with someone. ”Of course he is worth it,” he just said choosing to not try and explain further, as he would undoubtedly phrase it wrong. He didn’t mean to, but he scoffed when she said it shouldn’t be hard to hold on to something. It was hard. ”Maybe it is easy for you, but ever since I got here, everything has fallen apart. I don’t have anything to hold onto. We can’t all meet some prince to comfort us,” he said in a bitter tone. He was trying to be okay with it, but he felt Vidar had come in between them. It was nowhere near the truth, but it was easier to blame other than himself. He had done it all his life. It was easier right now, but not later. That was the curse of never thinking of the consequences. ”No, be we always are. We are not safe here,” he stated and took in a deep breath. He smiled shortly when she talked about how she accidentally threw a book at his father. It was a sight he wished he could have seen. ”If you want someone to be careful, I’m not the right person. I’m not careful, I’m not safe. I don’t think things over I just do them. I act without thinking and screw up. You of all people know this. I have done it with you more than once,” he walked past her not sure what he was doing. He just needed to do something. ”I’m not a fucking hero,” he muttered to himself.

We can’t all meet some prince to comfort us, Vanya blinked by those words and looked at Lion. She stopped.
"Excuse me?" She snorted and lifted one of her brows. "You seem to forget that you erased yourself from my memory. That it hurts your feelings that I read books with Vidar, is not my problem. That is on you," she pointed out a bit more serious. Vanya tried to keep her calm, but his emotions were so strong - and masking her own anger towards him was hard enough alone. He walked past her and she took a deep breath in.
"No you are right. You are reckless, a freaking time bomb. I have done nothing else than trying to be there for you, in everything," she turned around. "You are not a hero.. you are just a boy trying to fill an empty void. But guess what. We have all been in our own personal hell here. You are just acting out like always, hoping I will be there to clean up the mess," she took a deep breath in. She felt the tears pushing behind her eyes. She was mostly hurt. Hurt by the fact that she felt like she wasn't good enough for him, that he had felt the need to erase him from her life. Like she was nothing.
"Was it worth it?" she asked trying her best not to let her voice crack. "Leaving me with nothing, when you knew how much I loved you? Did it make it easier for you?" she shook her head and felt a few tears running down her cheeks. "I would have done everything in the whole world for you Lion.. and I still feel like that wasn't enough. All I know is I can't keep living like that.

Lion knew he had said the wrong thing. He didn’t mean to, he was just hurt and angry, at himself and at the world. ”So this is how it’s going to be? Every time I do something, you are going to hold it against me? Tell me something, what would you have done? If you were going into a dangerous situation and could stop someone you love from going after you, would you not have done everything to protect them? I loved you more than anything, and the thought of you being hurt was gut wrenching. So I’m sorry for protecting you. I’m sorry for trying to keep you safe. I’m sorry I loved you so much I would rather have you forget me than be hurt.” Lion was really tired of people making him feel bad for something he did out of love.

Lion tried to remain calm, but she was beginning to sound lie Mariella when they thought. She would always find his weak spots and press them mercilessly, although Vanya was not quite as good at that as Marie. ”No, I don’t expect you to do anything. You have made it crystal clear we are no longer together, so I have absolutely no expectations to you,” he said as calmly as he could. He swallowed when he heard her voice beginning to crack. ”No.” He said and walked closer to her. ”You never had to do anything other than be yourself. You were more than enough for me. I was not trying to make it easier for myself. I was trying to make it easier for you. It was never about me, it was about you. I wanted you to have a chance to be happy. I didn’t know when I came back or if I would, and you deserved better than looking for me. Look at Mariella now. That would have been you, and I wanted to shield you from that. I was trying to protect you. How I did it was wrong, but my intentions weren’t.” He used his thumb to wipe away her tears. ”Theo made me realize how stupid it was right after I had done it, and I wanted to go back to undo it, but I didn’t have the time. I have never regretted anything more. I wanted to be the person who brought you happiness, not pain.”

"No. Just listen to me. I'm not mad at you for protecting me. I'm mad at you for taking my choice away," she pointed out. "If you think I would have removed your feelings for me, if we had switched places - I wouldn't. What if forgetting you was the worst pain?" She asked and looked into his eyes. She could feel him getting angry, it wasn't what she wanted right now. She didn't want to fight, and for everything she didn't want to be angry. However the anger seemed to face when she broke out in tears. He walked closer to her, and she just looked up keeping her eyes locked onto his. Her tears ran silently down her cheeks. It wasn't because she couldn't understand his actions, she knew him. His action didn't surprise her.
"I know why you did what you did. But you can't shield us from everything, no matter how much you try or want to," she said softy. Vanya knew his actions came from love, her anger came from worry and love. He wiped her tears away with his thumb, and her eyes turned from his hand back to his eyes. "Theo is a very smart person time to time," she chuckled a little.
"There is one thing you misunderstood. I'm not angry at you because of that.. I'm angry at you because I love you, and I worry about you," she pointed out keeping her eyes at his so he knew she wasn't lying. To think if he hadn't erased her memories, maybe she would have joined Mariella at the beach that day - their fight wouldn't have happened. A lot of things might have been different. "Why does it always seem like the universe is against all of us?" She asked and took a deep breath in. Vanya shook her head, trying to keep her emotions under control. They were switching so fast she couldn't keep up, it wasn't normal to feel emotions this quick and hard after each other. It was like a storm and she was afraid of her other ability getting charged by it. But one person she never had harmed with it was Lion. So she found herself just wrap her arms around him and closed her eyes hard together. Hoping it was enough to fill the space of calm she was searching for.  He knew her. He knew her emotions could go wild and beyond her own understanding.

”I don’t know. I didn’t think about the consequences. I just wanted you to be safe, and that was the way I thought was best. But it did hurt. Every night I was away I imagined what you were doing without me. It wasn’t fair of me to put you or the others in that position.” He knew that right after he came to Nimue. All he wanted was to go back and undo it all, but he couldn’t. He looked into her eyes. ”Maybe not, but I don’t know how to stop. What kind of a person am I, if I don’t want what’s bet for the people I love?” He acted so naturally. He didn’t even stop to think. She was crying, so he wanted to make it better. Vanya had always been his person. Even before they first got together, she was the one for him. Maybe he had been too affected by their mother’s attempts to get them together, but it just felt right and now everything felt wrong. ”Too smart for his own good,” he added and joined in on the chuckle.

Her next words made him swallow. He had been worried she would be so angry at him, all they shared had disappeared. He found himself smiling by her words but fading by her next question. ”I wish I knew,” he said. He could see it. She didn’t have to say anything he saw it in her eyes. All the different emotions passing by. Lion was not surprised when she folded her arms around him. He did the same, moving his hand in, hopeful, relaxing strokes down her back. ”Remember that feeling everything is better than feeling nothing.” His voice was lowered and soft. Lion might not seem like it, because he constantly managed to screw things up, but all he really did care about was his friends and family and their happiness. He just forgot that sometimes and acted on pure instinct. But he was trying to change that, which started with Vanya. He didn’t want to make her life more complicated. So even if he did still have feelings for her, he wouldn’t burden her with it. She knew because he told her, but he would never do anything more than that. Although he didn’t think he would be able to stop himself, should she initiate something.

Her heart was racing and every beat was so hard it almost hurt her. His arms closed themselves around her, and there it was. The safety. Vanya took a deep breath in and exhaled. Repeated it. She was angry, worried and scared - at everything and everyone. She felt so hopeless. She couldn't save anyone. Vanya had even been stupid enough to sneak in to Ramsays place again to look around, lucky there had been no one. And even if there was she wasn't going to risk it again. She had learned a little from her past mistakes, and she was doubting Baal would be her hero once more.
"You are not a bad person Lion," she mumbled as she kept her head close to his chest. "We all make mistakes.. Its not about the mistakes.. its about how we handle them," she added with a slightly weak voice. Vanya let her emotions run out, and she tried not to let it effect him - but he would feel some of the sadness, the frustration, the constant worry. But it wasn't anything that stuck, it was like a short breeze till she got it collected. She had been through when being separated with Amaryllis when she first got here. Karmena had been kidnapped for weeks. Not to mention everything else that had happened. Reginald was stronger than he thought, she knew at some point they would find him - or he would get out. One way or another they would get him back. So the next emotion that would hit Lion like a smaller wave was hope.

He felt the emotions, her emotions. The anger, worry and fear. But the worst part what was came next. Feeling hopeless. All the emotions just laid on top of his own. She was feeling exactly what he was, except his manifested in a different way than hers. He acted out; he was more reactive than her. Whenever he felt something strong enough, he just had to let it out. He sighed when she talked. He didn’t comment, he just kept holding her close. It was not about him; it was about her. A new wave of emotions hit him. Sadness, frustration and the worry again. It came, but none of it festered. Although it might as well have, as it was nothing unfamiliar to him. He knew a lot have happened, even before he got here. But everything after was such a mess. There had been so few happy memories for him, and he was becoming really tired of it. He felt another emotion, though not as strong. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time. Hope. He felt it and wanted to cling onto it so badly. He didn’t want it to go away, but it did, and left a hole in him. He wished it would come back and fill him with the confidence he needed to go on. He tensed when he felt something. A crippling fear, confusion and anger. Mariella. He sighed and looked down at Vanya. ”Are you okay?” He asked. Lion needed to be sure before he put his focus on someone else.

Vanya slowly got herself connected, but didn't really want to let go. But then she felt something and it made her frown. She took a minor step back and looked up at him, she still hadn't let go of him. Her hands were holding onto the fabric from his jacket, like she used to. It was perhaps just pure instinct. It was first when he asked if she was alright, that she let go of his jacket.
"I don't think I'll be totally okay till before I know Reginald is safe and sound.. but for now, I'm fine," she said and gave him a little nod. "Let me guess.. Mariella? Let's go find her." Vanya knew his 'Mariella is in trouble' look quite well at this point. Vanya closed her eyes and took a deep breath in, trying to sense if she was close by.
"North west of the woods. Clearly she has been out swimming.. I can smell the salt from the seawater -" she started walking in the direction.

Mariella had finally gotten back from her swim. Trying to call Jamie, but it went straight to voicemail followed by a text message, oh to enjoy my life, see ya, xoxo what the hell? Mariella looked tired and a bit pale. She had been crying. Of course she had, she was so out of place.

Lion felt like everything was back to normal, for just a second. Right until she let go of his jacket. Then he got back to his new reality. A reality where she was no longer his. It stung, but he had caused himself. "Yeah," he said in agreeing tone of voice. He just nodded when she asked if it was about Mariella. Who else. He loved all his friends, but his bond with Mariella was unique to any other. It was both good and bad. Lion listened as she used her enhanced senses to pick up on her. The moment she said a location he started walking. He was worried. He could feel she was upset, and he just wanted to make it better. What her hurt him. It had always been partly true, but even more so when their shared ability activated. He quickly reached her, not noticing if Vanya had followed, but he knew she would. He ran to her the moment he saw her. He didn't know what was wrong, just that something was. She had cried. He embraced her holding her close. He didn't even say anything, he just hugged her.

Vanya kept up with his speed, she could probably reach Mariella faster than Lion - but she just stayed back. They reached her, and the dark emotions was so high. It stung in her as they got closer. All that frustration, pain and fear.
"Lion.. I don-" before she even got a chance to advice him against embracing Mariella he had wrapped his arms around his sister.

Mariella barely realized they were close, and it was like she was totally zoned out . Lost in her own head. So when Lion embraced her, she freaked and pushed herself back out of his embrace. "Don't.. not right now," she frowned and didn't really look at Lion. She took a deep breath in and closed her eyes. Vanya put a hand on Lions upper arm and gave him a nod. Just to let him know it was okay. Vanyas dark brown eyes returned to Mariella. Vanya lashed a wave of calm energy over the area, letting it fill both the sirens. Mariella took a deep breath in, feeling Vanyas powers calming down her nerves and opened her eyes. Mariella took a deep breath and looked at Lion and Vanya.
"It's Jamie.. he -" she shook her head. "We went out for a ride.. someone needed our help.. so I jumped in the water. When I was about to reach him.. he just took off. And now he is out to enjoy his new carefree life, or what ever," she sighed and looked down. It wasn't because she didn't understand he was in pain, but they all were in pain. She still found it selfish of him to shut off right now, because now was a time to stay united. All their serpent laws were getting broken and she hated it. She hated everything about this.
"Did you two have any luck?" She asked, guessing they were out here for either two reasons or both at once. Mariella skipped the part of her almost eating a man alive, right now didn't feel like her time to tell them she was the new baby shark.

Lion had his arms around Mariella before Vanya managed to warn him not to. Mariella pushed herself away. He didn't understand. He looked at Vanya when she put a hand on his arm. The calmness flowed over him, and he managed to not become angry, as he maybe would have because of the confusion.
He shook his head when she explained what had happened with Jamie. That was not okay. He should never have left her alone like that. He despised the vampire rigt now, but due to Vanya's calming affect, he didn't do anything about it. He shook his head when Mariella asked if the had luck. "No. I'm sorry Ellie," he said. He really was sorry. He wished he could bring her good news. Especially now when Jamie was gone. "I won't stop looking, I promise. Somebody will find something. We will find him." He looked at both girls. "Maybe we should go back to the mansion to make a plan. This, us, just searching. It won't lead us anywhere. We need a real plan," he stated.

There was disappointment in her eyes when Lion said there wasn't any news. Not because she counted on them to find it or didn't think they did a good enough job. Perhaps it was because she despite everything still tried to hang on to just the small piece of hope she had left. Mariella took a step back and leaned her back towards a three to let it stop her from falling down. She took a deep breath in.
"There must be something we are missing," - "hey stop that," Mariella looked at Vanya, "don't do that to yourself. There is nothing you could have done to change the outcome of this. What ifs and maybes won't bring him back," she looked back at Lion when he said they should go back to the mansion and make a plan.
"We will find him, but not like this. I agree with Lion," Vanya said and looked over at Lion with a short smile before looking back at Mariella. "We have crossed time, worlds - there is nothing we cannot do. It might take time, but we can't just walk through the doors even when we know where he is. Being reckless is gonna get us all killed.. so first step is to figure out his location. Then who has him and how many.. then we make rescue plan," she breathed out. Mariella rolled her eyes lightly before walking over to them.
"I'm in.. unless he is hurt. Then I don't care about how many people are standing in my way." she spoke serious. When it came to Reginald, she would risk it all to get him back to safety.