There was that one guy from star wars about sand - Boadicea (cw)

He stood out on the balcony with his eyes closed trying to fight the demon inside him. Not being able to ever shift to his demon form again made everything more complicated as he had no where to channel the dark feeling and the artifact only wanted more. He grabbed the railing and leaned a bit down as he inhaled deeply and felt the shame so clear. He wanted to yell at himself, yell at her, or just yell at something that would ease his mind for a short period. He heard her and the gasp that followed that made his eyes open and his eyes turn to her. He didnt know why he wasnt going near her, maybe a part of him thought that he would do something horrible again and he wanted to shield her. Just looking at her and seeing the wrapped wrist in the corner of his eye made him look away with shame and anger alike.
He furrowed his brows as she spoke and it was the demon voice again. His eyes darted to hers at the command and his own demon awakened fully, “Calm down,” he said in a dark tone but still kept the distance between them, the way he said it was with all seriousness. He wasnt taking any demands at the moment, that was clear, his marks flaring in faint glows that made a dance along his skin as the glow moved around the dark marks. A part of him knew this was his fault, whatever that was waking up inside her was because he couldnt hold back. His demon didnt like the fact that she haboured a part of his soul, it wanted it back - Making this encounter that more dangerous.

He wouldn’t even look at her and that only angered her demonic side. His distance and serious tone asking her to calm down did the exact opposite. She moved closer to him, still staggering on her legs, but reaching him. She closed her hand with her broken wrist, whincing at the feeling and hitting his chest. Her eyes glowing green as she looked at him. ”Calm down?” she snared, but it wasn’t really her speaking. ”You should listen to yourself sometimes,” she said, moving away from him shortly, her legs trembling as her body fought to stay upright. ”She asked for this,” the demonic side said as the green eyes glistened, behind them showing the fearful human fighting to stay in control. ”You don’t want to claim her again? She liked it,” it said before dropping the blanket, revealing the her naked body, small bruises alread showing on the skin from Baal tugging at it.

He didnt look at her when she approached him and barely reacted to her hit on his chest, beside turning his eyes to hers. "This isnt you," he said with his eyes turning greener the more he let his demon slowly gain control. But a part of him was still lingering, holding on with everything he got so this wouldnt end badly, but that was a faint hope at this point.
A growl left his lips at her last words, keeping his eyes on hers as she dropped the blanket. He felt his jaw tremble with anger as he stepped towards her, narrowing his eyes as he removed some of the space between them, but not fully close to her yet. He looked down at her and lifted a hand and placed his palm against her neck, his fingers resting on her cheek as his thumb ran across her lower lip. He shifted between her eyes as he was seriously considering it, but it was the demon in him pulling at his strings like he was a puppet. But then his eyes fell on the bruises, bruises that he had placed on her. "No," he then said in a dark tone as he pulled his hand back and pushed her gently aside before he walked back in. He ran his fingers through his damp hair and exhaled deeply. The battle was hard, but the way the demon spoke about her like it wasnt really her, helped him keep control.
But then it was like a switch clicking and he turned his eyes back to her as he walked towards her, grabbing her firmly as he pulled her inside and pushed her down onto the sofa, crouching down above her as he grabbed her wrist and pinned them above her head, the demon side not caring much for the pain she would feel. His breath was heavy as his other hand ran down her body, before he turned his eyes to hers. "I want my soul back," he growled in his demonic language as his lustful eyes turned to something more dangerous - The hunger for a soul.

”If you want your soul, you’ll break hers, leaving it in limbo, never to truely find piece in heaven nor hell,” the demon said as it felt the feeling of Baal holding her down. Shortly her eyes calmed down. ”Belial,” she begged struggling to handle the pain in the body. Her head hung for a second before the demon got control again, a twisted smile on the full lips. ”She’s afraid that you’ll hate her,” the demon said, spreading her legs, moving her hips foward with an alluring movement. The body reacted to the touch of Baal’s hand moving down it. ”Claim her already, she wants you,” the demon said with a playful smile. ”She still haven’t merged with me completely, but when it’s done, you can expect me to do some fun in this body – maybe she should test out those hip movements on someone else?” the demon said with a grin.

He felt her hips and felt anger rise in him as it wasnt her moving, he knew that and yet a part of him wanted to give in. His grip on her wrists tightened a bit. “No,” he said just like he had said out on the balcony as he felt his jaw tremble with anger. “She’s not you,” he hissed as he pressed his hand down on her lower part of her stomach to keep her hips from moving. “I only belong to her,” he said in a dark tone as the demon laid out it’s threat.  Baal gritted his teeth as he felt stuck between his good side and bad side, not sure what to do or how to react anymore. “I would never let you,” he assured her with a serious tone, staring jer down from above. The demon and his dark side were getting overwhelmingly strong and he wasnt sure how long he could stand it.  
He moved his head down to hers, placing a gentle kiss on her lips before he let her go and straightened his back as he looked down at her. He knew she was in a conflict, he could feel it because he was feeling the same. But he had no idea on how to bring her back, as he barely knew how to get himself back once he gave in. “Give her back her control,” he hissed in a demand. Everything seemed to get blurry and he covered his face for a bit as he clenched his teeth, “Please..” he begged in a faint tone that muffled in her palms. The marks was glowing in a fiery red all around his body and he felt his mind get foggy.[/color]

Buffy didn’t know her own words to describe this. It was like she was in control, but not really, more seeing herself from the outside at the demonic side of her spoke. ”You’ll lose control soon, so why don’t you run back to hell and leave her with me,” the demon spoke with a grin on Buffy’s lips. Buffy felt the kiss and some part of it drew her forward, gaining control and looking a Baal with careful eyes. ”My love,” she whispered, feeling the tight sensation around her wrists, pain showing on her face and letting the other demon know that it was truely her in control. She moved carefully, getting one of her hands out of his grip as he loosened it slightly. She placed her hand on his cheek and pulled him down to her, kissing him gently. ”It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean for this,” she whispered against his lips, closing her eyes as she rested her forehead against his forehead, almost as if they were having a connection through it. She laid down on the couch, pulling him down on top of her and wrapping her arms around him. Hopefully it would let him know that she was there for him.

”I wont leave her, not again,” he assured the demon with a pained voice. Even though he probably should have, regaining control would be easier there as the demon quickly grew bored of hell. But this world? The demon loved it here, especially when it had full control and ravaged it like a whirlwind. But he thought he could control it, he hoped.
He felt a short relief as she seemed to be brought back by his kiss, but he was far too gone at this point. He couldnt even react to her being back and feeling her forehead against his felt so distant and fogged out by the demon that clawed for freedom. “I love you... Forgive me,” he pleaded in a faint tone as he felt a tear betray his attempt to hide his struggle as much as possible.
When she wrapped her arms around him, his body was trembling with pain as he closed his eyes and gasped for air, like he couldnt breathe. He held her close as he groaned and felt the marks burn all over. “I cant... fight it,” he said as he seemed to curl together in her arms, the burning sensation of the marks flare making small groans leave his mouth. He closed his eyes tighter and knew there were no way back now so all he could do was stall it. Meeting her demon side had made his own crave for freedom and since he havent had his demon form ever since merging with the fragment, that only meant that he couldnt have any control once it took over. A part of him prayed that she could either bring him back or knock him out. Suddenly the trembling stopped as his gasps died out to a regular yet heavy breath. He calmly lifted his gaze and met her eyes with his being wholly green - A dark shimmering green. He placed a hand on the soft surface underneath them and pushed himself out of her embrace to higher himself from her. He tilted his head as he didnt say much before his hand made a firm grip on her chin. “You have something that belongs to me,” he said in a tone way different from his own, the accent was something from a time long before this one, and his voice was raspy and somewhat old. A few cracks in his skin had formed on his cheek, a line going up along his cheek and way above his eyebrow, looking something like the cracks you’d see on a statue. A faint glow of yellow shone on his chest in the area where his heart should be. “But dont be scared, little one. I wont take it from you,” he assured her as his thumb ran across her jawline in a sweet yet cold lingering caress, like it wasnt meant out of love - More possessive.
“You had no idea that when you asked for me to give it my all, you’d meet my demon side. Well here I am. And I feel this need to be with you, be inside you, just as fiercely as before” he said as a small hint of a smirk moved in the corner of his mouth. His hand on her chin loosened as it moved down to her neck and made a firm graps around her throat. “I’ve been asleep for long. And by the way my body seems to lust for you, I couldnt deny it the pleasure,” he said in a low tone as his eyes scouted down her body. His hand followed his eyes as he straightened his back and quickly straddled her, as his finger danced across her abdomen, still cold to the touch.[/color]

”I never blamed you to begin with,” she whispered back. There was nothing to forgive, at least not in her head. She could hear his heart fight, but she just held him, whispering to him that everything was alright over and over again. That was until she felt the change and it sent a small chill down her back as Baal forced himself out of her embrace. Her green eyes searching the now green eyes in front of her. He took her chin, and her gaze didn’t move from his shimmering eyes for a single second. He spoke different as well. She let her hands fall to her side, looking at him as he spoke, seeing how he looked didn’t scare her for some reason. ”I’m not scared,” she whispered, her heart beating a little faster, but it wasn’t a lie. She should have been scared, fight to get away from such a deadly demon now in control, but when she looked at him she only saw her Baal. She closed her eyes as he mocked her, gasping slightly as she felt his cold fingers around her throat. Carefully she opened her eyes, looking at the demon as it said it lusted for her, moving her legs with him as he straddled her. She moaned a bit at the sensation the cold fingers gave her body and she pressed herself against the demon’s hard member. ”Do it then, see how long you can last,” she said with a daring look.

She didn’t wait for the demon to act and pressed herself over the firm bodypart and let out a soft moan at the sensation. She was still plenty wet from before, so it didn’t hurt too bad, the only thing that hurt right now was the thought of Baal in pain. She moved her unbroken hand up to his cheek, caressing it with such care, a loving gaze in her eyes. ”I love you,” she said, not even knowing how the demon side would react to those words, but she hoped it would reach the voice of reason inside of it. She pushed against him again, another moan escaping her lips. ”I love every part of you, even the side that can kill me,” she said between her moans.

“You should be scared,” he warned her as he eyed her body. He was pleased at the fact that she wasnt fighting it, it made things more simpler. Her dare made him chuckle but before he could comply to jer fare, she was already over him, pressing his member inside her.
He moaned as she moved against him, deep moans of pleasure at the feeling. But his face couldnt really follow his body as he had this sort of numb expression as he looked into her eyes. But the more control the demon got, the quieter the moans got till he was only grunting at her movement. A snarl left his gritted teeth at the mention of love and he pressed his body against hers, “Love is weakness,” he said witg furrowed brows, letting small grunts leave his slightly seperated lips. One hand slid up her back and he leaned forward as he tugged at her hair to expose her neck. He nipped at her skin and looked at her as she said she loved every part of him. He raised an eyebrow as he felt the cracks om his cheek move down his face. He gritted his teeth that made the cracks move further, he knew that he couldnt be in this form for long, his body simply couldnt take it. He let go of her hair and instead placed his hands on her hips and forced her to move more deeply around him. “But every part is so different. Are you sure you even know the real me?” he asked her with a growl as he leaned back and moved his eyes down to their connection. A small movement of his eyebrow showed some sort of reaction, but since he was hiding them pretty well, it wasnt clear to say what it was. But his body clearly enjoyed the sight that his eyes laid upon, before he moved his eyes up to hers. “You can keep trying to talk to the part of me that is sleeping. He wont hear you,” he then said, but he wasnt really sure of his own words. He pushed her down on the sofa and started moving inside her as his hand on her chest held her in place.

”Love is crazy and stupid,” she moaned back to him as he pressed himself closer, he tugged at her locks, forcing her head backwards and she felt his teeth working at her soft skin on her neck. Feeling him inside her didn’t disgust her, far from it, because she knew this was just as much part of Baal as the other side of him. She watched the cracks move down his face, and she knew it could end badly. She tried chuckling at his question, but it came out more as a string of moans as he pushed deeper into her. ”Because it’s you,” she answered, giving a small jerk against the demon above her, making him feel her deeper. Herself tightening around his member as she felt herself close. He looked down at their connection, and she felt an immense pleasure from it. As his gaze reached hers again she moaned at his deep movements, a faint smile showing on her lips as she moved with him. ”I’m talking to you,” she said, gasping as he pushed her down and moved as he held her down. It was surprising to her that the demon had not hurt her yet, but maybe it was because deep down it felt the connection. ”You speak as if the two parts are not connected, but they are,” she said under her breath, her chest heaving as she felt her high getting ever so close to let loose. Her eyes were on his as she felt her body give in to the sensation, sending pulsing vibrations down her spine. Her core tightened and she felt like she was gasping for air. ”I love all of you,” she breathed out. ”Even the side you call a monster,” she whispered.

“You cant deny.. that you love the softer side of me more,” he said, there was a hint of jealousy in the tone with the anger that followed it. He had felt the connection as well as the “good” side of him had felt it, and though his movements were unforgiving, he wasnt cruel. This part of him liked seeing her in pleasure as well. His eyes looked into hers as she said they were connected. There wasnt any deying that, it was the simple truth.
“We are,” he agreed with her as he felt her tighten around him as she chased her high, a soft satisfied grunt leaving his mouth as he felt her get there. But he didnt stop moving, in fact it made him move faster, working hard on her already overstimulated area as his grunts got stronger. His free hand grabbing firmly at her breast as he looked down at her, the other hand still firmly on her stomach to keep her down in case she wanted to get closer. “If... you only knew...” he said in a raspy tone between his grunts of pleasure as he felt himself suddenly be pretty close as well. He knew it was his body betraying him after not having succeeded in the bathtub and now it was all ready to reach that high it was denied.
He bowed his head a bit down and tried holding back his grunts, trying to keep himself from reaching that high. He closed his eyes and bit his lip hard. “I had to... seperate... my soul to merge with the amulet... hgnn... to absorb it’s power,” he explained in his string of grunts, a clear ploy to keep his climax at bay and it was somewhat working for now. Hopefully she didnt see through his attempt. “But the boy that was raised among humans.. was the one who got the control.. once the merge was complete.. The foolish boy with his foolish love...” he groaned that turned into softs moans that barely left his mouth, small gasps made his adam’s apple bop. His movements halted and he clenched his jaw and stopped moving for the sake of not reaching his high.

”Don’t say that,” she moaned as he pushed in deeper, making her core spin and her body screaming to move against his, but he had a firm grip on her. It was like he was afraid to get too close to her, only focusing on their connection further down. Even if she liked the soft side of Baal she could never discriminate like that. Every part of Baal, that’s what she wanted, from now to eternity. His raspy tone and grunts let her know that she liked it, and maybe he liked it too much. She hadn’t felt him trying to hurt her, other than holding her away while he kept on stroking her. As she came he didn’t hold back either, forcing himself to keep moving in and out of her, and it made her moan loader. He started explaining, and that’s how she noticed how pained his expression, if that was what she could call his face, was. Her breathing was heavy, her tongue lightly peaking out as she tried catching up to this feeling. ”Love is foolish, why else would I be here with you,” she whispered in a tender tone. She felt him stop and she raised an eyebrow at the sensation. She could feel him pulsating inside of her, and she knew he was fighting the urge to give in to the high. Buffy reached her hands up, cupping his face, even if he didn’t want it, she also knew that part of him longed for something tender like this. Her green eyes sought his, biting her lip as she used her own demonic strength to push against him again. Her moans beginning again. ”Fill me up,” she demanded, not taking her eyes off of him.

“Is it a lie?” His voice had a pained undertone, as his thrusts got harder, like he was trying to punish her for the thought he had.
“We’re both fools, little one,” he said in a low tone. A part of him wanted to hurt her, this demonic side wanted to ravage and defile, yet he was holding it back, and he couldnt understand. How had she gotten so firm a grasp on his heart that not even his darkest side could harm her? His nails dug a bit into the skin of her stomach at the notion that she could have this control over him, leaving him powerless against her. He couldnt accept it, he was the dark prince that had torn cities apart and mutilated a great many, why couldnt he do that to her? The conflict was hidden behind the numb expression, the cracks tearing away at his phyisical body that couldnt withstand the dark energy that the artifact pulsated throughout his being. If she couldnt bring him back, he would have to tear out the hellish amulet and return to his demon form. But a part of him wasnt worried that she wouldnt bring him back, the sleeping softer side that never doubted her.
Her tender whispers was something he oddly liked, which really was odd considering that what he truly craved was chaos. Yet the softer side of him had given her his heart so even if this side denied it, she had taken just a tiny bit pf space away from all the chaos and filled it up with herself. He moved his hand down from her breast and felt his shoulders tremble with anticipation as he held himself back. It was so hard for him to not give her what she wanted and some part of him found it annoying. How dared this former human change him in this way. He clenched his jaw and bit back a moan that muffled behind his closed cracked mouth as she moved and as he had closed his eyes for a bit, he opened them to look down at her. He lifted his hand from her stomach and placed it next to her head as he leaned a bit closer, still not fully able to give her the closeness that she wanted. With firm thrusts, he started moving against her sweet spot again that he instinctively knew where was and felt the rush of the high starting to get to him. He shot his head back and tensed his whole body as he released himself deeply in her and gasped for air in raspy breaths. He felt his body give in to the high and the relaxation that followed forced him to bow his arm till his body laid over hers, feeling his member throb inside her with the tingles rushing through his mind like a great euphoria he hadnt felt before. He gulped as he opened his eyes that had returned to grey with the slight tint of green as he caught her eyes. He shifted between her eyes as he wasnt sure what to say, meanwhile still trying to control his breath. “I dont enjoy being that side of me,” he finally said after a short silence and rested his ear on her chest, listening to her heartbeat like it was the only thing keeping him together. “Even if he is a part of who I am, he is a faint memory of who I once was,” he then said as he pushed himself off her and sat on the sofa, running both of his hands through his hair. He wouldnt really look at her after they locked eyes and when he moved his hands off his head, he just stared out into the room with a blank expression. His jaw was clenched.

”I love you, no matter who’s in control, the same burning love I have for all sides of you” she whispered between her moans. Feeling him inside her was different yet awfully the same. It was rough on her body, no question about that, but she could feel the lingering of something deeper beneath it. He started moving again, and she felt him trying to be closer to her, though it clearly wasn’t how this side of him usually did things. She was grateful. Buffy gasped for air as she felt the explosion inside her, making a domino effect happen as she reach her high. Baal’s body laying on top of her, his member still in her, she moved her arms up and around him. Moaning slightly as she felt herself lost for a second. Seeing his grey eyes made her smile softly at him, before he placed an ear to her chest. Her heart was going crazy, her body still trying to get down from her high. As he moved away she sighed, grabbing the blanket from the floor, and moving closer to him. She craved the closeness more now than ever. Placing a small kiss against his cheek she looked into the room calmly, trying to get a feeling of control over her breathing. ”I’m sorry I pushed you,” she whispered with a hoarse voice, touching his skin gently. She could feel her body was hurting, but she couldn’t bring herself to care right now. ”How are you feeling?” she whispered in a soft tone as she had gotten her breathing under control. She moved her head from his shoulder, looking at his tensed jaw and feeling quite guilty. She had asked for this, and now he felt awful.

He felt her moving closer and as much as he wanted to give her the comfort, his heart was hurting with what he had done to her. Not kept his control intact, breaking her wrist and putting her in danger by letting her meet his demon side. The things were just piling up on eachother and he still felt the artifact’s burning glow in his chest. He felt her kiss and closed his eyes like it stung him to feel her lips om his skin. “It’s my fault,” he said in a low tone and looked away at her touch. He made a sharp inhale and placed his hand over hers, like he was about to remove it, but instead he entangled their fingers but kept his eyes away.
She asked him how he felt and he leaned his head back to look at the ceiling, “Awfully exhausted,” he answered before he finally looked at her. He looked down at her wrist that had been wrapped and made a sad expression. “I did this to you,” he said as he moved his free hand over it, the fingers almost touching, but he didnt dare to. His eyes moved up to hers and he shook his head. “Dont tell me it’s alright, it isnt alright,” he said in a pained tone before he detangled their fingers and pulled her into his arms. He placed a hand on the back of her head as he held her close like he was scared of losing her. He closed his eyes for a bit and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but the words wouldnt come out. “As your husband to be, it’s my duty to cherish and protect you. So dont think I am doing this out of ill will. It pains me as well,” he then said as he opened his eyes and let them meet hers but it was only for a moment. “The dark is still lingering in me. And I wont risk hurting you again,” he knew what he was saying, but a part of him thought it was for the best. He placed her on the sofa and rose to his feet.

Buffy shook her head at his words. How could he blame himself like that? How could he think that this right here was only his fault? She had asked for him to trust her, knowing the risk involved. To be honest she thought a broken wrist was small compared to what could have happened. She bit her lip as he finally looked at her and she sighed. ”I’m not telling you it’s alright to hurt me, but I knew the risk, so at least half the blame is on me,” she whispered to him. For the first time being with Baal she felt scared. Watching as he struggled to find his words was so unlike him, and she felt the guilt rush over her. She had been selfish, thinking that she could handle everything, but she knew it wasn’t true. What she knew was that she loved Baal, all of him, even if he hurt her, she loved him. It might sound crazy, but it was true. He pulled her up into his arms, and she rested her head on his chest, looking up at him. ”I know it pains you, my love, but it’s not so bad,” she whispered, looking at her wrapped hand shortly. It wasn’t as bad as when it had just happened, and thanks to Baal he had set the wrist in place, making sure it would heal correctly. He felt so sheepish, barely daring to look her in the eyes. His words made her heart stop for a second, but she nodded. He placed her on the couch and she looked at him with hurt eyes.

”Are you leaving?” she whispered, scared that he might never return. Her stomach turned at the thought and tears started forming. She needed to be close to someone, but if he left what was she to do? She stayed put on the couch, watching him carefully, feeling like her body had betrayed her today. ”I’ll … Uhmm … Go wash off,” she mumbled a bit incoherently. She swallowed as she moved to her feet, a short pained expression on her face as she moved to the bathroom. Her legs were shaky and she turned on the shower, feeling her balance was off. She sat down, hugging her legs closer and then she couldn’t hold back anymore. Her tears got the best of her, and she started sobbing into her knees. Seeing Baal that hurt was hurting her more than imagined.

"It's not you who lacks control," he was quick to say, the words came out harsher than he meant them to be and he quickly felt bad for not being able to control himself yet once again. He just couldnt let it slide in his mind, he couldnt just forget that he had given in to his temptations and the outcome may not have been as bad as he thought it would, but what if it happened again? Would they be as lucky? His doubts were strong and just the thought of the endless possibilities made his heart ache worse than ever.
Holding her in his arms were bittersweet and he just couldnt let himself indulge in the comfort she brought him. He denied himself the pleasure, as he thought he didnt deserve it. Her words made him shake his head in anger towards himelf, "It could have been, and that's nothing I'd ever want," he said in a low sad tone as he found himself in a struggle of what to say. Everything in his mind was a mess, the darkness whispering things that only fueled his fears of hurting her. He had to clear his mind and find a way to shy from the darkness, but being in the reminder of his crimes, seeing her bruises and her hand wasnt helping.
When he got up, he felt a reluctance to go, but he still thought it was the right thing to do. He felt the cracks on his face and stood in silence as she asked her question, knowing that leaving would mean hurting her. He exhaled in a tremble and opened his lips slightly but all that came from his was a small tremble of his underlip. He couldnt admit to his intention and her words made him gulp with his eyes closed for a second, just to hide the wetness that had occurred in his eyes. He turned his now open eyes to her as she got up and he wanted to just go to her, hold her close and tell her that it would be alright, help her wash herself, but he couldnt.
He watched her go to the bathroom and felt a tear unwillingly leave his sad expression. He walked to the bedroom and found some spare clothes that he had left, before he walked to the door. His hand hovered over the handle as his eyes wandered back to the bathroom. He gritted his teeth and turned his eyes back to the doorknob, his heart shaking with ache. He clenched his hand to a fist and placed it on the door before he turned his back to it and slid down, covering his face with his hands. He was going to hurt her, why wasnt he leaving?

All his words were spinning in her head and her breathing felt out of control. She hugged her legs closer, letting the water from above hit her like warm rain. She knew he meant well, but the hurt of him wanting to leave hurt too much for her body to handle. She sat there in the water for a while, regaining her strength to stand up and as she did get to her feet she washed herself carefully with one hand. Stepping out she took a fresh towel, covering her face and breathing in to it. She felt like she could keep crying, but she didn’t feel like that right now. She needed to go get some fresh air, and if Baal had left then she would have to find some way to cope with that fact. She hadn’t done well the first time around, when she was forced to kill him. She had lost all emotions, stumbling through the streets, gladly greeting death if it came to her. She had been reckless, and she was scared that it would fuel the demon inside her. She breathed out, covering her body with the towel after drying her hair, groaning slightly at her broken wrist. Good luck getting on jeans, she thought to herself and moved out the bathroom. She saw him sitting against the door, and it just hurt her even more. She went to the bedroom, getting into some loose pants and a warm sweater seemed to do the trick. She took a sharp breath as she pulled her broken wrist with her through the fabric of the sleeve and grabbed her phone as well as a small bag. Then she took her jacket, getting it on with great struggle before she moved to the door were Baal was seated.

”Do you want to join me or sit there?” she whispered, feeling a string of emotions that was both hurting her and mending her at the same time. As he moved from the door she opened it and walked out and down to the street, feeling the cold air of the night hit her. She brushed away a few tears and started walking, not knowing if he was even following or going in another direction.

He just sat there against the door, listening to the water that was running, her small sobs that tore at his heart and only made it that much more unbearable to stay, but he couldnt find the strength to get up and leave. He stared at his hands and the mark that he had started to hate so fiercely. He hated being this demon that had stolen an artifact for power. He hated that he had become everything he swore to destroy, thinking that becoming that would aid him. It hadnt ever aided him, not truly. Sure he had his summons and their powers to help, but it all came with a price too tough for him to bear. He didnt lift his eyes from his hands as she got out of the shower but he did dry the wetness from his eyes with his palms, trying not to look too pained.
He listened to her dress herself and closed his eyes as he leaned his head back against the door. When she moved over to the door, he barely moved his eyes up, looking at her wrapped wrist with dark eyes. Her whisper made him groan silently, why was he doing this to her? He pushed himself up and watched her go out the door, lingering for a moment as he thought of his options. The right thing was to leave, leave and get his act straightened. He walked out on the street and watched her go in one direction, turning his head to the other for a moment.
Fuck it. He turned to her and with steady fast movements, he caught up to her and grabbed her healthy hand as he forced her to turn around. "I dont want to hurt you," he said in a stern tone as he shifted between her eyes. His hand around her wrist wasnt ready to let go. He made a trembling exhale as he looked at her. "Werent you the one who would tell me off if I was doing something stupid?" he then asked as his eyes looked deeply into hers, he knew he was pulling at something that might anger her, but maybe he needed it. His eyes shifted between hers as he awaited her reaction, his eyes begging her for comply to his reminder.

The air outside did her plenty of good and she took a deep breath. It was like fresh air always had a calming effect on her. She started walking, at first not hearing any footsteps and she felt her heart sink to her stomach in a heavy feeling. The she heard the fast movements, the footsteps and how he took her healthy wrist and forced her around. Her eyes were still puffy from crying so much, but she couldn’t bare to let him see her cry like this. Why was he toying with her like this? Saying one thing doing the other? She swallowed looking down at his firm grasp on her wrist, whishing she knew of something to say. Her green eyes found his grey as he spoke again, reminding her of her promise. Tears started to fall again, and with a pained expression she whiped them away with her hurting hand. ”You are hurting me,” she whispered forcing her wrist out of his grip and grabbing his shirt instead, tugging at it, but she felt weak, so it probably looked more like she was playing with the fabric. ”What we have is beautiful, it’s all I’ve ever hoped love to be, but you are not accepting my love for you,” she whispered in a pleading tone. She looked to him with vulnerable eyes. Sometimes it was like speaking for deaf ears when he was like this. She loved him, and she just wanted him to understand that.

”Every single part of you, I love – I love ythe way you sometimes lose your cool attitude, giggle with me and snuggle me close,” she said, her hand shaking, one more tear betraying her as she looked at him. ”I love your need to protect everything and how compassionate you can be,” she said, knowing that at this point she was just listing things he knew was good. Her face became a bit more serious and composed as she took a deep breath. ”I love your darkness and the demon that is inside of you, because deep down, I know that it is you as well,” she said. Buffy never lied. Never once had she lied to the demon in front of her right now. ”I love all of you, and that’s why I said I would marry you,” she said letting go of his shirt. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath was what she needed and so she did. Her body was shaking a bit, but it wasn’t because of the cold, not it was the fear of ever losing the one she loved so dearly. She had lost him once, and she would be damned to lose him again. Life rarely gave second chances.

”For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish,” she whispered opening her eyes. She looked at him with burning eyes, both hurting and loving. ”That’s what you are going to promise me, but I’m afraid that when it comes to my turn saying those words you’ll disregard them,” she said in a vulnerable voice. She was tired, oh so tired, but she needed to get this off her chest. Why couldn’t he just accept that she loved all parts of him even if it hurt her? Sacrifices were meant to happen in a relationship, but she had asked him to treat her as his equal. ”You are my first and my last, my fiancée, future husband – and the least you could do was accept the fact that I love you,” she said.

He couldnt figure out what was right anymore. And he knew that he was sending a lot of mixed signals with his insecurity, that she couldnt possibly accept every part of him. Her whisper send a cold feeling down his spine, his jaw clenched but he knew it was true. He let her pull her hand out of his grip and felt the attempt of a grasp on his shirt. As she spoke, his eyes wandered up to the dark sky that had gotten lighter - Morning was on it's way. Her whisper made him close his eyes for a second and he looked down at her again. He felt his breath tremble as he made a quivering gasp, like the realization of his real crime was finally pulled out into the light.
He listened as she spoke and wanted to remove the tear that rolled down her cheek, but he felt that he would make things worse by doing so. She was hurting and needed his comfort and he was too thick headed by his guilt to realize it. Her list made him exhale deeply as he finally lifted his hand and placed it on her cheek, catching the tear with his thumb before it would roll off her jaw. He looked at her with sad eyes and at the mention of his demon his eyes moved from hers. He couldnt give her the answer she wanted, because he frankly didnt know what it was. He couldnt tell her why he was so scared, because he had never felt a love like this - And maybe that was the answer all along. He had never found someone who had made him feel this way, not in all the time he had lived. And the thought of scaring that away with the monster that he felt he was, his judgement was clouded. He gritted his teeth shortly and returned his eyes to hers. She let go of his shirt but he didnt want her to.
Her whisper of the vows they were going to say some day, just struck him right in the heart, making his eyes feel wet before a couple of tears ran down his cheeks. The addition made him gulp and look down. He didnt move his hand from her face, he needed to feel her, even if the feeling was bittersweet with comfort and guilt alike. He sighed deeply and looked up at her last words, feeling his heart sink as her words echoed in his mind. She was right. As she always had been. His eyes couldnt hold back the tears but he didnt really care anymore. He pulled her into his arms and held her close as he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent. A small whimper left his lips and he wasnt sure if he had actually cried like this in front of her before.
"I am a fool. I dont think that is something that will ever change," he admitted in a strained tone as he lifted a hand to put over his face and silence the whimpers that kept on coming as he sobbed. He made a short sniffle as he lifted her head with the hand that had been on his face as he looked at her, his thumb running carefully over her face. "I have never felt a love like this one. I dont think I ever will again, if it were to end. But my insecurity of ruining this, is the thing that's ruining this," he admitted and moved his eyes from her as he tried to quiet his sobbing, stopping himself from crying like this. "I promise that I will do better. All I ever want is to wake up next to you..." he stopped to swallow a whimper that was on it's way, shaking his head to collect himself, "Start a family and spend all my life giving you the love that you deserve. That isnt what I am doing at the moment. And I apologize for that, for hurting you by thinking I'd protect you" he clenched his jaw for a bit. "I will do better, not by thinking I'd protect you. But accepting that you love me for who I am. All of who I am," he said again this time with all the seriousness in his voice that he could muster.

Buffy had never expected this kind of love. The moment she had seen Baal for the first time she had disregarded him as a dark soul, but the more he had helped her that night, the more she felt that connection. At first she hoped that it would simply be a friendship, a person who could teach her that not every dark being was trying to be evil. However as time passed she couldn’t ignore what her heart was telling her. She couldn’t keep those thoughts of him inside and the first night they had spent together was still burned in so strongly in her mind. In her dreams she could always count on the sensation of his gentle touch and loving words, and she knew that when she awoke her dream would always continue. He pulled her close and she wrapped her arms around him, being careful with her wrist. She heard his sobs, and it didn’t help her tears from running. She was sobbing too, whimpering into his chest and making his shirt wet with her salty tears. He tried to muffle himself, but she pulled away, removing his hand from his face and looking at him. ”Then stop hiding,” she begged. She knew he couldn’t just flip a switch and everything would be as good as they wanted, but she knew that together they could overcome this. Him saying he wanted a family with her made her chuckle through her tears and she bit her lip as he said he wanted to give her the love she deserved. She let him finish, not interupting his speech. She reached her good hand up to his cheek, whiping away a few trails from the tears and pulling him down to greet her lips in a vulnerable tender kiss.

”You forget that you deserve love too,” she whispered against his lips. She felt her eyes still tired, but the air was refreshing. She needed to at least spend a little more time out here. ”Let’s walk around the block,” she said, moving her hand down to place it on his arm like the first night he walked her home. She leaned her head against his arm as the walked, just a bit in silence to make them both calm down. Rollercoaster. That was a good way to describe today, but it was still less filled with drama than normally. As they had walked around the block they arrived back at the apartment complex and she stopped for a while, looking at the handsome demon she one day was going to marry. She thought shortly about her family’s reaction, but they would have to accept it. ”Is it possible that I love you more now than ever before?” she whispered, genuinely curious.

It wasnt surprising that he was still trying to hide some part of him, and not being used to crying made him feel more vulnerable than ever. But when she moved his hand off his face and begged him to stop hiding, he looked at her and felt his lower lip quiver as another faint cry left his lips. But he wasnt going to try and hide again, he let her see him cry in this way that he had never done before. His own words didnt really help his crying that seemed to worsen the more he spoke. Till her hand was on his cheek, smearing out the trails that had formed from the stream of tears that had left his eyes. He felt a calming feeling at the touch of her, and his crying gradually calmed, till there was only a few sobs here and there and the occasional sniffling. The kiss took the sad feeling and made it into something warm, the vulnerability that he could almost taste on her lips - It made him feel that it was all going to be alright. He deeped the kiss and placed his shaking hands around her, letting the warmth of her loving lips heal his wounded heart.
He looked at her as she whispered against his lips and a faint chuckle mixed with his whimper as he cupped her face in his hands and gave her a gentle kiss. "I am awfully forgetful at times," he whispered back and nuzzled his nose against hers till they just stood there in the middle of the empty street in the cold fresh air of the oncoming morning. He nodded at her and placed his other hand over hers as they started walking. He finally felt himself calm down but a few sniffles were made as the cry's effect was still lingering, however no more tears were coming at this point. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, while he watched the road ahead. He felt that this had been a good thing, despite that it had gotten out of hand, they had found a way to fix it. He was grateful that she hadnt given up on him, but had to remind himself that it was probably only his mind thinking that she would.
He turned his eyes to her as they stopped and raised both of his eyebrows a bit at her words, before he chuckled faintly and wrapped his arms around her, "By the amount of affection you have given me up to this point, I'd say it's impossible. But now I know that there isnt such a thing as a limit for you, when it comes to love," he said in a small smile as he placed a kiss on her forehead. He pressed her closer and leaned his head down onto the top of her head. "I think you've enlarged the curve of my love," he said in a low tone as he lifted his head and looked down into her eyes. He placed a hand on her cheek and stroke her skin with his thumb. "And you will probably continue to do so," he then said as he chuckled. It seemed like a silly thing to say, but he thought of it to be true.
He turned his eyes up to the sky and squinted them a bit as the sun was slowly rising behind the houses in the street. "We should probably get some rest," he then said as he moved his eyes back to her and made a small smile. He felt pretty exhausted after everything, and the only thing he really wanted in this moment was to fall asleep with her in his arms. Though he had to admit that it would probably end up with him being in her arms. He grabbed her hand and entangled their fingers as he walked to her apartment and let her open the doors. He sighed quietly to himself as a content smile snuck up on his tired face. "I dont really show it at the moment, but I cant wait to move in with you," he said in a tired yet happy tone as he lifted her hand and kissed it lovingly. He pulled off his shirt and walked into the bedroom before he laid down on the bed and stretched his whole body as he groaned in a yawn. "May this home be a place of happiness, laughter, and health of safety, and contentment. Generosity and hope. A home of..." he couldnt even finish the sentence before he unwillingly drifted off to a deep sleep, a small smile lingering for a while on his sleeping expression.

She chuckled at his comment and closed her eyes as he kissed her forehead. Getting pressed closer to him always made her more relaxed and she knew that being with him was all she needed. Going inside she yawned as she undressed herself after having locked the door behind them. She crawled up next to him, letting him stretch before placing her arms around him. Listening to him made her smile ans she shuddered a bit as she pulled the duvet closer around them. ”Of a family,” she whispered before falling asleep herself.